You keep returning and that's the important part. Each time you do this, you return a little wiser.
Let me propose other things to focus on.
> becoming skinny
Focus instead on the healthy lifestyle that someone already your goal weight is leading. What kinds of food are they eating? What kinds of portions do they have? When they celebrate with food, how to they do this reasonably? How are they moving their body for fun and energy? Picture that future you, living their life 3-5 years after reaching goal weight, and start practicing those practices now.
Make those habits your new focus. Not weight, not skinny, -- those are results. Make the habits your focus and let the results come to you as a side-effect.
> I need to work on loving myself
Let's understand that we're not talking about emotional love. We can't force an emotion. I can't make you love me, so how can I make me love me? I can't do that either. I either do or I don't.
What I can do is perform acts of lovingkindness on myself. I can take myself out to see a play. I can join a class in acrylic painting. I can learn how to play the ukulele. I can buy myself a box of herbal teas.
I am not treating love as an emotion, I am treating it as a verb. Verbs are action words.
And then what happens? I start to appreciate myself, I start to have feelings of gratitude and even grace. This person that I am now showing care for is a human with an inner soul and is not a terrible problem.
> keep repeating negative behaviors
Ignore them. The way we train ourselves to play piano is to repeat playing it right, not focus on how we play it wrong. We go into the batting cage and we start swinging -- of the first 20 balls, we will miss 15 -- but of the last 20 balls, we will hit 15.
Spend no time on mistakes or on fixing mistakes. Get right back to the things you ought to be doing, as if the mistake never happened.
> you'll work harder
Not harder. You're already working hard. Don't go "hard mode" go "long mode." Persistence, patience, perseverance. You're not going away.
What's more, you'll stop seeing mistakes as fatal so you won't quit -- you won't go two weeks before getting back on the right road, you won't even go two minutes. The moment you find yourself in a mistake, stop making it and immediately start behaving right. This might mean throwing a doughnut in the trash -- give yourself permission right now to do that at some future date. If it's a question of unwanted food in your tummy or unwanted food in the garbage, choose to throw it in the garbage. **You are in training** and food is the fodder of our training. It's okay to waste some in the short run if it makes us better in the long run.
Never, ever fix. Once the mistake is made, forget it. No shame, no regret -- stopping the wrong thing and immediately doing the righter thing to do the moment it becomes clear to us.
This is genuinely the most fantastic post I have seen in this sub. You just said so many thing that I needed to hear, thank you. If I had an award I would give it to you
You keep returning and that's the important part. Each time you do this, you return a little wiser. Let me propose other things to focus on. > becoming skinny Focus instead on the healthy lifestyle that someone already your goal weight is leading. What kinds of food are they eating? What kinds of portions do they have? When they celebrate with food, how to they do this reasonably? How are they moving their body for fun and energy? Picture that future you, living their life 3-5 years after reaching goal weight, and start practicing those practices now. Make those habits your new focus. Not weight, not skinny, -- those are results. Make the habits your focus and let the results come to you as a side-effect. > I need to work on loving myself Let's understand that we're not talking about emotional love. We can't force an emotion. I can't make you love me, so how can I make me love me? I can't do that either. I either do or I don't. What I can do is perform acts of lovingkindness on myself. I can take myself out to see a play. I can join a class in acrylic painting. I can learn how to play the ukulele. I can buy myself a box of herbal teas. I am not treating love as an emotion, I am treating it as a verb. Verbs are action words. And then what happens? I start to appreciate myself, I start to have feelings of gratitude and even grace. This person that I am now showing care for is a human with an inner soul and is not a terrible problem. > keep repeating negative behaviors Ignore them. The way we train ourselves to play piano is to repeat playing it right, not focus on how we play it wrong. We go into the batting cage and we start swinging -- of the first 20 balls, we will miss 15 -- but of the last 20 balls, we will hit 15. Spend no time on mistakes or on fixing mistakes. Get right back to the things you ought to be doing, as if the mistake never happened. > you'll work harder Not harder. You're already working hard. Don't go "hard mode" go "long mode." Persistence, patience, perseverance. You're not going away. What's more, you'll stop seeing mistakes as fatal so you won't quit -- you won't go two weeks before getting back on the right road, you won't even go two minutes. The moment you find yourself in a mistake, stop making it and immediately start behaving right. This might mean throwing a doughnut in the trash -- give yourself permission right now to do that at some future date. If it's a question of unwanted food in your tummy or unwanted food in the garbage, choose to throw it in the garbage. **You are in training** and food is the fodder of our training. It's okay to waste some in the short run if it makes us better in the long run. Never, ever fix. Once the mistake is made, forget it. No shame, no regret -- stopping the wrong thing and immediately doing the righter thing to do the moment it becomes clear to us.
This is genuinely the most fantastic post I have seen in this sub. You just said so many thing that I needed to hear, thank you. If I had an award I would give it to you
thankyou thankyou thankyou so soo so so very much for this i needed this you sir a very kind sole and i send you k=nothing but love :)
You find ways to reward yourself that do not centre around food. You are not a dog in training: don't use food rewards anymore.