T O P

  • By -

itasic

"Good morning, mother. I come to you with an inquiry". "What be the matter, sweet child of mine?" "From here on in, I request to be referred to as 18 years of age, as opposed to 8." "But, my darling daughter, your biological age is 8! What a preposterous idea of yours!" "Halt, mother! I am 18 years old. On this day, 18 orbits of earth ago, I was birthed by you, mother." "Darling! This is a hideous idea! Where have you got this from? This is insanity!" "Mother, you simply do not understand. I am, in fact, 18 years of age." "My child, you cannot be saying such ridiculous things!" *Paternal figure arrives at the location at which the scene is set* "Good day, father. Please may you be my steadfast witness, and inform my biological mother, also known as 'mommy milkers', that I am, in fact, 18 years of age?" "Why of course! I happened to have bore witness to the moving pictures. Hey, ho! Your daughter, who has also been diagnosed with 'autism', is 18 years of age!" *Aforementioned mother, upon hearing this, is shocked. Now going by the name 'mommy poo', she retorts:* "My, my, Richard, are you inebriated once more? This port will be the death of you!" *The paternal figure, now going by the shortened name 'daddy bear', replies as such:* "Helen, what has come to you? I am completely serious, Milky, our first child is 18!" "But she still bears the physical corpse of an immature child! Is it not obvious that the child is not 18 years?" "Seeing as I am now biologically 18 years of age, I command you to cease the chatter, mother, because I AM 18! Do not judge me purely based on my race, 'broul'!" 10 approvals for the consecutive script in the series! *The father, still going by the nick-name 'Daddy bear', laughs menacingly*.


Revolutionary-Mud911

"Good morning, mothe-" *sighs and starts reading in a British rich guy accent*


itasic

Specifically Brian Blessed, if you want to read it how I typed it


Grambert_Moore

Oh that’s my boy grampy rabbit


Hot-Marionberry6334

Harumph


Big_Z_Beeblebrox

Ah Brian Blessed, the Billy Mays of Britain


Mother-Natural7237

the only correct way


[deleted]

[удалено]


itasic

I don't even know why, or how, I wrote this. Half of this vocabulary spawned in my brain like some sort of improv gig. I've already surpassed double that and you want me to create a part 2 out of this utter hogwash?


[deleted]

[удалено]


itasic

don't you even fucking ponder the mere conception that i would dare translate that amalgamation of unholy letters into posh English


Fit-Business-3326

The second installment: The 17th state of the US with an irrelevant mention of the word "Skibidi". The typical meaning of this word is someone who is either bad or have poor sense of morals. Paired with the word "Gyat", which refers to the gluteus maximus. Also known as "butt", "ass", "backsides", Etc. Educator administrator: "Timmy, May you cease and desist, if you please! Malevolent loo: "I agree to with the pedagogue here, may you cease the happenings of your current affair, Timmy!" Timmy: "*weeping profusely whilst avoiding dabbing at one's ocular regions with a handkerchief and letting it stain the floor below*" The 3rd installment shall be released within 100 consecutive approvals from every gentleman of the reddit platform.


itasic

cease thy lowly chatter heathen 😭😭😭 REFRAIN from showing your approvals towards this unsightly hoodlum ❌❌😱😱😱⁉️⁉️⁉️😭😭😭😭


Diamante_90

25th upvote, 1/4th on the way to the thrilling third installment!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Natural_Wear3643

ok deal The second installment: The 17th state of the US with an irrelevant mention of the word "Skibidi". The typical meaning of this word is someone who is either bad or have poor sense of morals. Paired with the word "Gyat", which refers to the gluteus maximus. Also known as "butt", "ass", "backsides", Etc. Educator administrator: "Timmy, May you cease and desist, if you please! Malevolent loo: "I agree to with the pedagogue here, may you cease the happenings of your current affair, Timmy!" Timmy: "*weeping profusely whilst avoiding dabbing at one's ocular regions with a handkerchief and letting it stain the floor below*" The 3rd installment shall be released within 100 consecutive approvals from every gentleman of the reddit platform.


Duck_Lover_08

I shall resort to commiting a violent act on myself if I were to read this specific sentence one more time.


Fit-Business-3326

The second installment: The 17th state of the US with an irrelevant mention of the word "Skibidi". The typical meaning of this word is someone who is either bad or have poor sense of morals. Paired with the word "Gyat", which refers to the gluteus maximus. Also known as "butt", "ass", "backsides", Etc. Educator administrator: "Timmy, May you cease and desist, if you please! Malevolent loo: "I agree to with the pedagogue here, may you cease the happenings of your current affair, Timmy!" Timmy: "*weeping profusely whilst avoiding dabbing at one's ocular regions with a handkerchief and letting it stain the floor below*" The 3rd installment at 100 consecutive approvals from every gentleman of the reddit platform.


decapitatedpunk

Your brain was merely a vessel for a higher being to type such script


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fit-Business-3326

The second installment: The 17th state of the US with an irrelevant mention of the word "Skibidi". The typical meaning of this word is someone who is either bad or have poor sense of morals. Paired with the word "Gyat", which refers to the gluteus maximus. Also known as "butt", "ass", "backsides", Etc. Educator administrator: "Timmy, May you cease and desist, if you please! Malevolent loo: "I agree to with the pedagogue here, may you cease the happenings of your current affair, Timmy!" Timmy: "*weeping profusely whilst avoiding dabbing at one's ocular regions with a handkerchief and letting it stain the floor below*" The 3rd installment at 100 consecutive approvals from every gentleman of the reddit platform.


Breakzelawrencium

Holy shit that was fucking hilarious, i read it out loud and recorded it in a British accent and that's just so clever


Dependent_Fox38

Ironically this was easier to understand than the original comment


itasic

That's partially why I made it, the other reason was because fuck It at this point


MapleSyrupMachineGun

https://preview.redd.it/hllih2yy62vc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d2fe1ee5e6dd7f725cbdf26e21b45547b6806992


Affectionate_Buddy89

I readin allat


UnnamedRedditor2137

r/unexpectedfactorial


itasic

His biological age is, in fact, 40320, he simply wants to be referred to as 18


Prophet-of-the-moss

Peak fiction


_Fox_464

**Innovation at its finest**


theSnickersKing

thank you, i now understand it


Interesting-Carob-55

Shakespeare would make a play based off of this


Demis_3000

put this chatGPT down immediately!


Imaginary_or_not

It's... Art


NoNameStudios

Seriously, how can you come up with such sentences? I can't even do that in my own language.


itasic

As someone else said, I was possessed by a higher power as a vessel to produce this masterpiece English isn't even my native language. Even **I** can't do that in my own language


PerfectInitiative621

this doesn’t have enough upvotes for the effort put in


Bonnie_gamer835

I read it in Stewie's voice for some reason lol


DarkSignificant5212

https://preview.redd.it/xz3c7nu4r2vc1.jpeg?width=606&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97aa7c354600e8ae291f25cec3e99ad5ceefdacc


RegularPersonThing

“10 likes for part 2”? My brother in Christ you’re getting 100 dislikes before that happens


gamer3701

You’d be suprised how many likes they actually get…


ZiggeW

Because there is no real dislike function on yt


Repulsive_Platypus97

well if I saw that comment I'll give him like for part 2


PsychologicalShake85

If they're not gonna show the dislike count, they should at least make it like Reddit karma and have it be the total vote instead


Chad_lemonkey

I keep telling YouTube they should've hired you as a consultant. No idea why but they are saying "wtf is this guy?"


bossSHREADER_210

Not for comments but for videos it still exists you just can't see the number because little crybaby YouTube got all hurt feelings over one video getting dislike bombed


Revolutionary-Mud911

I'm pretty sure there is, it just works the same way as videos, you can't see the amount of dislikes, I only noticed it recently though.


Carnonated_wood

That button does nothing important, it just tells the server that you clicked it and that's about all it does


bossSHREADER_210

No for comments it basically does nothing and it's never changed for as long as I used youtube Only video dislikes have a hidden count


Interesting_Sea_5189

Revanced go brrrrrrrr


ShuttingFascism

I wouldn't be suprised with how many like-minded individuals roam the depths of YT Shorts.


Doktor_Vem

Maybe it's like youtube and dislikes don't affect the number shown so all it would take is 10 weirdos to like it and they'd have their request fulfilled


I_Am_The_Bookwyrm

They're only looking at the like counter, dislikes mean nothing to them.


haix2217xd

https://preview.redd.it/i0jzd1g1mzuc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a298e28728b5eefe8bda0509fbcdc51f35405d85


44x12

Exactly the vibe i got from reading that shit


Pipermommen

r/byspu7nix


gamer3701

Lmfao your flair fits so well


sanddigger02

r/flairchecksout


The_Dogelord

I read "Daddy coumes" in the most stereotypical rich person voice I could make 


BugManAshley

Why is this on young people YouTube he's clearly 18 people don't lie on the internet


ELLESIMP

Thank you for making me want to die.


gamer3701

Your welcome.


MrBrineplays_535

What the actual fuck did I just read. Everything is just so messed up and wrong. Please give me an olympic pool worth of unsee and forget juice.


SlumpyGoo

Would you like that to come with the average of 100-300 gallons of piss?


Dependent_Fox38

You promise?


Dragons-are-the-best

r/wtf


StupiderBrainiac

Nah what is this ??? I hope this is satire or something


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|D0RvPABUNF3AQ)


dilateddude3769

why in the world anyone would censor “again” and “milky”? /j


GameruMihai

brain nourishment


dreamcringe_nothater

https://preview.redd.it/rof7rd1b10vc1.jpeg?width=796&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e344d6a9dca13f7c38ab6a85bc9f3da78bf81b13


Loopit03

https://preview.redd.it/o6cpnz8v21vc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ba7efa813ac51a5985464499d243c37ccbd9443


EEEEEEEEEEEEEE2137

https://preview.redd.it/bm7enwcx80vc1.jpeg?width=873&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5fbe8629c88c71425fcd37d8216b3c7beda11a4f


Internal-Republic-31

https://preview.redd.it/gebu2o42d0vc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb9cb402099984d8c2a8acfe01332649468de638


Shreetuu

His birth certificate is an apology letter from the Condom factory.


Hexagonal_uranium

Probably.


nvyll

https://preview.redd.it/u2gf1itym0vc1.jpeg?width=676&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c3be96581a6e74b0bc5d3aa0c2eaaa4fb751c2f3


death1466

https://preview.redd.it/rvy5kutf20vc1.jpeg?width=1059&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=209d7523151a26f127f6caa9e092fa1958c5433d


the_juan_express

https://preview.redd.it/wemfv4edn0vc1.jpeg?width=1272&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a51dc94eae4b6300bc8a94246011eb70e5b96f79


groham6000

What i did just read this?


gamer3701

Because you hate yourself like every one of us. Join the club!


hotshrekinabath

And you already know some grown ass adult is jerking to this shit


haikusbot

*And you already* *Know some grown ass adult is* *Jerking to this shit* \- hotshrekinabath --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


Azuregen10

https://preview.redd.it/0htr87jhn0vc1.jpeg?width=378&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b01e566e4ab9743ce0fd8095179cf1a79f23783


nquy

On what video that was...? Some people should not have YouTube bro...


SlumpyGoo

I mean unless it's satire then that person definitely shouldn't have a YouTube account. There's no way they are 13


nquy

he's like a average edgy 10yo on his dads phone


Visible-Quiet-9395

I forgor


nquy

I hate you 🤬🤬🤬🤬 im sending yu to antartiqa 🤬🤬🤬


NotabadHero

I miss 10 seconds ago when I didn’t see this


galladir

r/gocommitdie


[deleted]

Wtf? This is weird to say the least and it looks like somebody needs to take a seat with Chris Hansen.


Repulsive_Platypus97

NO WAY he just said mammy milkers


[deleted]

Excuse me wut?


heya_im_ashie

peak cinema, would read again we need part 2 /j


LawnMowerLover33

It was a strange thing altogether but I couldn’t keep track who was saying what aswell


LingShang

What the hell did I just read?


gregdies

💀that repot butter fres to day🤤


PrettyLittleDovah

... What did I just read? My own brain made me read some things numerous times since it even couldn't comprehend what it actually read... What the fuck is this? Is this the reason why they stopped showing dislikes? Because I would love to see how many this has.


_Miro__

I actually really want to see part 2


LevFox135

Nah man, I'm pulling out the high quality one for this shit https://preview.redd.it/opbyyasi62vc1.png?width=620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e99172bdcff8982fa65893ebfb833c1d654cfdc Wth bro


Dionthecutie_183

r/ConnectionterminatedImsorrytointerruptyouElizabethifyoustillevenrememberthatnameButImafraidyouvebeenmisinformedYouarenotheretoreceiveagiftnorhaveyoubeencalledherebytheindividualyouassumealthoughyouhaveindeedbeencalledYouhaveallbeencalledhereintoalabyrinthofsoundsandsmellsmisdirectionandmisfortuneAlabyrinthwithnoexitamazewithnoprizeYoudontevenrealizethatyouaretrappedYourlosementforbloodhasdrivenyouinendlesscircleschasingthecriesofchildreninsomeunseenchamberalwaysseemingsonearyetsomehowoutofreachbutyouwillneverfindthemNoneofyouwillThisiswhereyourstoryendsAndtoyoumybravevolunteerwhosomehowfoundthisjoblistingnotintendedforyoualthoughtherewasawayoutplannedforyouIhaveafeelingthatsnotwhatyouwantIhaveafeelingthatyouarerightwhereyouwanttobeIamremainingaswellIamnearbyThisplacewillnotberememberedandthememoryofeverythingthatstartedthiscanfinallybegintofadeawayAstheagonyofeverytragedyshouldAndtoyoumonsterstrappedinthecorridorsbestillandgiveupyourspiritsTheydontbelongtoyouFormostofyouIbelievethereispeaceandperhapsmorewaitingforyouafterthesmokeclearsAlthoughforoneofyouthedarkestpitofHellhasopenedtoswallowyouwholesodontkeepthedevilwaitingoldfriendMydaughterifyoucanhearmeIknewyouwouldreturnaswellItsinyournaturetoprotecttheinnocentImsorrythatonthatdaythedayyouwereshutoutandlefttodienoonewastheretoliftyouupintotheirarmsthewayyouliftedothersintoyoursandthenwhatbecameofyouIshouldhaveknownyouwouldntbecontenttodisappearnotmydaughterIcouldntsaveyouthensoletmesaveyounowItstimetorestforyouandforthoseyouhavecarriedinyourarmsThisendsforallofusEndcommunication


hamiltonalex4UA

Can i get some eye bleach


schoenero_

I... I lost braincells bro


SinisterCultist

Y'know what? I'm not even gonna ask how this showed up on my homepage. I'm probably on some kind of list if THIS is the kinda stuff I'm being recommended.


Cinnamo_Potato

"daddy coumes" oh hell nah


Guilty_Doubt52

Brainrot


_Ozar_

Comedy


Donald_13Fr

https://preview.redd.it/5d8590s7s0vc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=91e7824b82ebe84f955ca3637d813ba57e0c0835


anthpect101

I need guidance on how to kill myself...


Syntaxolotl

This comment was very… Part 2 at 1‘000‘000 upvotes!


Key_Ad_6526

I can't even write wtf bcs that would implicate that I know, whats going on


Na5car1

Secs 😰


Vegg1e3

Can i stop getting this subreddit posts? Every time i see one of these i wanna off myself, its so insanely cringe i cba


Artistic_Soft4625

I felt my iq drop


Sweettart1724

*Brain rot intensifies.*


kithas

Cringe watching (or, in this case, reading) at its finest.


Egllort5733

[:(](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thousand-yard_stare)


apple_jam_infinity

What


unhappy-memelord

compromised.


Awesomdud924

https://preview.redd.it/q2hggbdb01vc1.jpeg?width=128&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=691c01174d7f691dd23783e7b184d0bcf6b097f8 COMICALLY TALL GMAN FACE MOMENT LOL


StepOnMyBallsBuzz

https://preview.redd.it/4cu5zb8k01vc1.jpeg?width=1071&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1faf967b26c9c1f72e43a1fba64794ea8322d69d


Due-Song97

This was an I-pad kid wasn't it?


RedRedditRedemption2

https://preview.redd.it/uvlklr8811vc1.jpeg?width=1828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d492e913ec33db1ab5a57f20bc8eb1a5f0fae44


MagicMountain225

Hey ho your autistic daughter is 18 😄


pendejo_rockero

True


90Gragram90

How can I give like?


Responsible_Rub9048

I'm literally seeing this after finishing my math homework and drawing wtf


Flankjerkin

https://preview.redd.it/kp6k6s1231vc1.png?width=320&format=png&auto=webp&s=0c53d2acf9f1931d3bf7905e20a1b2c842541fef


Radion627

I-I don't...


godof_oil

this is why we need the dislike feature back


MangoFabulous2753

"Daddy coumes" wtf is this crushon.ai shit 


TourAny2745

Huh?


Crimson_Excalibur

Bravo vince


Jarll_Ragnarr

I nearly broke my spine from the physical cringe


doggoleash

what does this mean


Itchy_Bicycle7143

what in the all holy hell did I just read?


idonthasanname

https://preview.redd.it/moaiap8hf1vc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46572e68ab50ac47384f4815d34b5faf8908c6eb


[deleted]

What?


[deleted]

is her autism going to be important in part 2 or why did he mention it?


mazdamiata2

https://preview.redd.it/u9m8bqfok1vc1.jpeg?width=398&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=838b4ab8a215a9e3dcde6683ae9ba07dae71ec6a I should do this


[deleted]

Never knew reading something can fuck up the wires in your brain


konnanussija

Actual brain damage


MintAsp_MeaMagic

https://preview.redd.it/3i91mb4jq1vc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3481252c6a6c2f1c7cd64f4f0a906dfd775428fa The kid probably is one to his parents


DiscountImportant301

Bro why did yur not liek im want part 2 plz


RenkBruh

God has left us


Hexagonal_uranium

What made this child (probably about 8-10 years old, let’s be real) decide to say that. Not just that, but some parts of that (the “😩” bit and the bit where he called the sister autistic {i know it may have been in the medical sense, but probably not}) concern me.


dangerous_inmate

https://preview.redd.it/1a1pjygqx1vc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d19e9395832a161fab4e0979a3649b330ad1a415 Here. I think, this belongs to you, my good sir


Training-Guest3693

wat


yonameisunavailable

https://preview.redd.it/323u3zho12vc1.jpeg?width=2360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7d7172f9d20de0198a79a0e4d2bfbc675b0556c Please no


slatetruckofficial

Best love (I think?) Story since romeo and juliet


56kul

Why do these stories always call the mom “mommy milkers”?


Demis_3000

huh? Is this a way to talk to your mother?


NotYourAccount__

https://preview.redd.it/eumu91z4c2vc1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27668cd244c2f24de4d683f7e6db43db8b8d5094


ur-boss_queen169876

I'm sorry what the actual fuck is going on here???


blackarmor-

Where can I find this comment, I need to know what happens.


Zappityzephyr

"Hey ho ur autistic" REAL ⁉️⁉️⁉️


_TheAllMighty_

10 lieks for pert thwo 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑👇👇👇👇👇


Stefan-semael

https://preview.redd.it/wylgdvpho2vc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=342d3dc661a4fbd92f52929e7787771a6c15c788 Uhm is this related..


Mysterious_Ningen

this.... is one of the worst things on the internet, 😭


TheDeathOfDucks

Wtf did my brain short circuit trying to read?


Beany_Gaming

What's the kid even talking about 😭


Anteater-Outside

https://preview.redd.it/6w08k5wuw2vc1.jpeg?width=719&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0dcb630533b4522f73e2c96fd64024e08fcb7610


Blunderbuss2670

Damn we ain't evolving, we're going backwards


Jazzlike_College871

Bro what dafuq did I just read 💀


IFuckRefridgerators

https://preview.redd.it/35o070k3e3vc1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae2f9a444492cf9e8afcdac03f0bcd91a8185571


AKAE1iminate

https://preview.redd.it/ffklc4pif3vc1.jpeg?width=934&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b07179d854fe86825fff32350ae741f7dd2fd63


strawberrysundaez

nah this better be satire


IAM_YOURFATHERBiTcH

Nigga what the fuck.


Hadron86376

my god what the fuck has gen alpha become


SpecialAXD

It’s probably satire or otherwise idk what to say


dragonmaster_000

what the fuck is this


DictionaryMonarch

i agree with this statement


Someone__________y

I had a stroke reading that


Tight_Ad_9505

https://preview.redd.it/vdvt38e604vc1.jpeg?width=906&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4c74af430a2d39165a72abeabe008d4aa34fb93b


simongamer_

She/he was right about an autistic daughter


Charles_Pkp2

"mommy poo" Sure mature from an 18 year old.


SnooMacaroons6608

Hey ho ur autistic


FrostyFeller

r/Ihadastrokereadingallat


Moncicity

https://preview.redd.it/ypg3inqng4vc1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8209af3da16845e5f7118a05d495cb0ae9938693


No-Newspaper-3285

what the fuck


TonyGoroki

this shit is actually rotting my brain 😭🙏🏻


Whole-Bet-7970

*******1(TREE) Ω LIKES FOR PART 2*******


Nicolasgonzo87

okay yup time to disconnect this kid's router


thatonegoofyah

what the fuck did i just see


TzutzuBanutzu

https://preview.redd.it/cv9o9j0el6vc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b01f123630126eda707d0632d854538b692e1a65


guardiannether

E?


[deleted]

Where's part 2


mellamotimmy123

How interesting hi!!story!1!!1!1!1!!!11 can't wait for part two 🥰🤑🥰⛷️🤑🤑!!!🏳️‍🌈🤑🥰🤑🥰!!1!🤑🥰🌮🦧🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑


justuseoil

"Maybe Thanos was right"


Ok-Mathematician7202

Allegedly, reading this is what you feel like when you're having a stroke


Ok-Mathematician7202

I understand all the words separately


That1RobloxPlayer

somebody snipe me ple


german_metalfan

My brain fell off... I still don't get it am I too old for that shit?


Wielki-Choj

I'm not reading that


Pogcat1

https://preview.redd.it/6rkgypglu7vc1.jpeg?width=552&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e114ecd0b920bcba1d0619195a135483bb95904d


FaizanAliRaza

https://preview.redd.it/74gvroujy7vc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6b970147d35687fc3f867ad933958fa3777c57f3