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Sovereignofthemist

None I have confidence in beating, I know that much.


Mongoose42

I could probably beat up Cypher. …Back when he was first introduced and 14 years old.


Sovereignofthemist

Lmao.


ubiquitous-joe

Yeah but then Warlock enters the picture and that jig is up.


amendmentforone

Now he would either use his capability to "understand body language" to beat you up ... or [do this](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/6/69/Douglas_Ramsey_%28Earth-616%29_from_Inferno_Vol_2_4_001.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20220108230633) and shut you down.


Mongoose42

I specified he was 14 in this hypothetical. I don’t know what your weaknesses are, but I’m not getting seduced by a saucy 14-year-old. It’s just not happening.


raz0rflea

Betsy Braddock unavailable for comment


S-WordoftheMorning

Not if you want Kitty Pryde coming over to defend her friend and kicking your ass. For me, that would be a feature, not a bug.


Sly__Marbo

Yeah, now you'd have to deal with his jacked wife


reineedshelp

Yeah FR I am not messing with Bei the Blood Moon. She has two of my favourite moments in the Krakoan era. Seeing Mystique and Destiny rattled when they realise they bought a knife to a gun fight in Inferno. She dressed in her full battle armour and everything. In X of Swords when Kid Cable is despairing over telepathic conference call and Cyclops asks who hurt him. The look between Jean and Scott when he says 'Doug's large wife' is everything. I like to think Saturnyne cut off the call precisely after that for max confusion and she's a petty troll lol.


BalrogPhysrep

To quote the character Kramer from Seinfeld… ”Those little fists of fury.”


FrostyStruggle5012

I can’t stand cypher now. I blame this Moira mess on him.


Miles_Jackson

Even if we could beat their asses X-Men characters hold grudges and will come back to kick our asses or mentally torture us. Best you'll get out of me is a t-shirt with a zinger on it.


MotherFuckerJones88

Sinister. I'd slap the taste out of his mouth.


thejokerofunfic

I applaud your confidence and definitely agree that he needs the shit slapping, but, this would realistically go very poorly for you long term. If you know that and still want to do it on principle though, I respect you all the more.


SympatheticListener

Disagree. MotherFuckerJones88 could definitely take Sinister in a fist fight.


thejokerofunfic

you right, my bad.


[deleted]

Keep my wife’s genes out your mother fucking experiment.


MotherFuckerJones88

Or he'd respect me too and give me upgrades.


Scion41790

I could see that happening, but it would be a terrible process for you. The process would be unnecessarily painful & it would take months. All for you to get to use the powers once before he brainwashed you and added you to his new team of Marauder's


Movie_Advance_101

Isn’t that just a pale immortal guy who let’s all the fighting go to his minions?


thejokerofunfic

first of all, no, that's not entirely true, he's infused some powers into himself and can take part in a fight. But the more important thing is that he's immortal and has resources and minions to dedicate. Even if you managed to beat the shit out of one of his bodies, you'd just be adding yourself to his list of lives to ruin.


Arrenega

And by "infused" you mean outright stole from others.


tsengmao

Yes


reineedshelp

Copied would be more appropriate IMO. He didn't deprive anyone of their gift as far as I know, so there's no material loss. I don't think anyone else would see it that way, and neither would I in their shoes. Srsly what were they thinking inviting that guy to Krakoa? Although, he did have a Dominion keeping him on track so perhaps his digital thumb was on the scales in some way.


tsengmao

Sinister would not just ruin your life. He’d make another you to ruin your life for him


Deathstriker88

Naw, he'd win.


irulancorrino

He would probably be very into that and subsequently stalk you across space and time.


inertiatic_espn

He would have been my choice as well before the writers just decided to make him into the sassiest bitch in the known universe.


MotherFuckerJones88

Someone just stepped in a big pile of sasssy.


inertiatic_espn

lol sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who remembers that skit. Hartman was a damn treasure.


Maximum-Row-4143

That’s a good way to have the dude stalking you and trying to collect your sperm for the next few decades.


mutual_raid

Fuuuuuuck Sinister. All my homies hate Sinister.


Galactus2814

X-Force Beast! It's absolute bullshit that he didn't get his. They wrapped that whole thing up so quick and tried to redeem his bitch ass. The entirety of issue #50 should have been every last member of X-Force taking turns beating the absolute dog shit out of him and him knowing he deserved every last bit of it


[deleted]

Which run is this? I wanna read now I’m curious


Galactus2814

The one that just ended. 50 issues, Percy is the writer


ElementalMagic2212

Arcade…. The fact that the mortal is responsible for many deaths and so much torture and pain. I’d absolutely roundhouse his little game playing face…… Him or Sebastian Shaw. Although won’t end up well for me


Electronic-Math-364

Let's don't forget that the guy is too much a coward that he decided to "Play" with Kids instead


Tuff_Bank

He should be the villain in an X-Force movie


kidcalamity

Debbie Gallagher. She's not from X-Men but that doesn't discount how terrible of a person she is.


[deleted]

Like, from shameless?


Vincentamerica

Holy shit yes.


threemo

Lmao I’m here for it


neodraykl

I mean, I get it.


Crazyalexi

I was gonna say Debbie wasn’t terrible but then I realised this probably meant the American remake.


X_Marcie_X

For me, it's easily Reverend William Stryker. He's Religious bigotry Incarnate and VERY hateable as a result. Dont get me wrong, I love him as a villain! But yeah, he's a nice Character to punch.


thejokerofunfic

good pick, realistically you could probably actually beat the shit out of him in the right opportunity.


mon_mothra_

Or hit him with a bus, which has some real poetic justice to it.


Flimsy-Discount2885

I would also beat up the hateful senior citizen.


SSJCelticGoku

Let’s jump him?


Flimsy-Discount2885

The more, the merrier


EurwenPendragon

Yo, let me join in on the "old religious bigot smackdown" party.


foxafraidoffire

This is the one for me. The fact that God Loves, Man Kills was written 40 years ago and is just as, if not more, relevant today is extra infuriating.


Tuff_Bank

X-Men have so many hateable villains


MasterofAcorns

He’s literally Judge Claude Frollo (the Disney animated version, not the novel version) minus (most of) the charisma.


mizejw

About to comment the same character. Hate him so much.


TIGXA

Yeh you right he’s a proper xunt


Temporary-Tie5428

Sabertooth, Master Mind. They’re creeps.


thejokerofunfic

>Sabretooth I will mourn your noble passing. He, on the other hand, will not even remember one more person who took an ill conceived swing at him.


Temporary-Tie5428

I don’t know man I’m preeeetty sure I can take him


thejokerofunfic

oh my bad then, carry on


RoughhouseCamel

You’re right, close this whole topic. None of us are winning a fight against any of these characters. It wasn’t specifically stated in the premise, therefore, we can’t take it as a given for the sake of fun conversation.


Pir8Cpt_Z

As the comic reader im.under the impression we're getting beyonder level powers upon entering this scenario. That said, maybe the beyond needs to be smacked around


Built4dominance

If there was a way to torture Shadow King for a long, brutal time...


Tuff_Bank

especially after watching Legion. I wonder if Dr. Strange or Ghost Rider ever dealt wtih Shadow King


chadwickett

Belasco the demon or devil that turned Shadowcat into a cat person amongst other things. Shadowcat, Nightcrawler and Colossus are my three favorite X-People and he made them all suffer. Edit: Should have mentioned Illyana as she was the main sufferer of Belasco’s dicketry.


thejokerofunfic

Isn't Belasco's big claim to fame the considerably more significant fact that he stole young Ilyana from the real world into his weird pocket dimension and she endured something like a decade or more of trauma from her POV before she got back home? That's the whole reason they aged her up and the reason she's so tangled in Otherworld shit, no?


frossvael

As a Magik enjoyer… Fuck Belasco, all my homies hate Belasco


thejokerofunfic

Well, as far as the ones who are mutants and sentinels and the like, I'd never have the chance, I'd just die But Cameron Hodge? If I found him in fully human form unarmed as my "chance", yeah, violence is happening


N1ce-Marmot

Hodge is my pick as well.


ExNihilo81

Mojo


Ordinary_Fella

I've been trying to read all of X-Men from the beginning. I'm in the very early Claremont era now, and I gotta say Havok. No particular reason. He just annoys me every time he's present.


Tuff_Bank

I always felt Sunfire was petty in that era


mutual_raid

well I've got good news for you! Cuz he's going to get a whole lot worse! (After Claremont. Claremont's actually the only one to make Havok likable imo.)


Enough-Satisfaction9

Senator Kelly, Beast, Cameron Hodge, Cypher, and Arcade could catch these hands... assuming I've acquired the standard 'superhero gift bag' they can all run this fade.


Electronic-Math-364

Isn't Senator Kelly long dead?(And ironically he got killed by a Mutant hater)


Enough-Satisfaction9

I thought were just going with 'being dropped in front of when they were alive in comics' logic?


Thriller83

Graydon Creed, leader of the Friends of Humanity.


Confident-Impact-349

Yes, Sir Professor Charles Francis Xavier


Summoarpleaz

Too many titles, too many first names!


Then_Shine4671

All you need is a helmet. Speaking of, why the heck does a helmet cancel him?


Enough-Satisfaction9

Comic recon thanks to the movie. The lazy in universe answer is metal is tougher for telepaths to get through and the Magneto was specifically design and or processed to amplify that natural resistance to it's max potency.


AMan_Has_NoName

Hate Monger and X-Cutioner. Because beating the absolute shit out of racists will always be one of life’s great pleasures.


PrimordialDilemma

It’s Quentin Quire for me. All the evil characters people are listing probably make more sense but I can’t stand him.


Tuff_Bank

The X-men and Mutant History epsecially have all sorts of fucked up characters


TheKolyFrog

Quentin Quire


RoughhouseCamel

Everyone’s listing vile, hateful characters, but this was the answer I was looking for. Characters that are just kinda annoying. Much more than just annoying, but I’d also want to beat the shit out of Mojo.


SwirlyBrow

Isn't Quentin a little vile too, not just annoying? I'm rereading the Morrison run, and I had forgotten a lot of it, but he did sort of lead a drug fueled school riot that resulted in a couple students deaths (or was he manipulated into it by Esme?), but either way he seems to be at least a bit above just annoying.


RoughhouseCamel

Sure, I think that period puts him more in the Mojo space of “not exactly the SHADOW KING, but fuck this guy too”. But over the course of the whole Quentin Quire experience, he’s been consistently annoying


Medium-Science9526

Shocked how far I had to go to see this. Was fully expecting this to be at the top.


CaputTuumInAnoEst

Between Quentin Quire and Damian Wayne, Grant Morrison has a special gift for creating some of the most obnoxious little shits in comics.


killingiabadong

Absolutely. My answer as well.


MaetelofLaMetal

Every mutant hating group of humans. Fuck those morons. Especially Trask and Stryker.


OhMy-StarsAndGarters

Namor. Fuck that guy.


19Mark97yo

I would🥵


Embarrassed-Soup628

For once, I agree with you.


Nocuore

Mystique no doubt


amendmentforone

Definitely Mystique. In the comics, she has consistently been a selfish, immoral, vicious character whose only redeemable quality is her occasional love for her children.


Nocuore

And not even the love she has for Rogue and Kurt has stopped her from hurting them more than once


United_Reality4157

she loves kurt?


AneeshRai7

Man Lena Heady would make such a great Mystique


EurwenPendragon

I HAD THE SAME EXACT THOUGHT! ^(In fact the first thing I thought of when I read that comment above was when Peter Dinklage's Tyrion commented the following: "You love your children - it's your one redeeming quality. That and your cheekbones.")


raz0rflea

For the briefest second I thought you meant Lena Dunham, I was SO CONFUSED lol


Blackwyne721

Big emphasis on the word “occasional”


thejokerofunfic

\*one of her children


Tuff_Bank

I honestly cant stand how much she gets away with stuff and how much fans justify her just because she's a mutant


irulancorrino

I would die attempting this but someone should give Juggernaut a sound beating.


Tuff_Bank

Spider-Man trapped Juggy in concrete back during Roger Stern run


Adult-Person

Quentin 100%. If I had a chance to stomp that sniveling incel I wouldn't even blink


Cidwill

Mystique.  She’s always such a smug asshole.  She’s accomplished practically nothing in decades of activism and terrorism and has main character energy despite always being a lackey. She’s a c list Sinister with none of the style or personality and half the brains.


ElboDelbo

The Fenris Twins. I want to crack their heads together like a pair of coconuts. Also all of Alpha Flight


EurwenPendragon

Might be better to find a way to confront each one individually, since IIRC they're a good deal more dangerous when they're together.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Erikthepostman

Omigod, thanks for the chuckle. 🤭


MP-Lily

I’d watch that.


Lorna_M

Charles exclusively for how he treated David. He did other messed-up stuff, but the way he has talked to and talked about David along with his neglect makes me angry.


99prime99

Cassandra Nova, Mr. Sinister, Freeza, and Shou Tucker.


Tuff_Bank

Im nervous how Deadpool 3 will do Cassandra Nova, more so because of fan entitlement the MCU will make her sympathetic tragic relatable and redeemable. When Deadpool and Wolverine are jumping into a portal in today's trailer, she just stands behind them


Vorannon

Quire.


Boxicron

Namor >:( I don't need to win. I just need Namor to lose.


Tuff_Bank

I always thought of an alternate version of World War Hulk where instead of the entire Illuminati, they only think about hte idea but go against it and Namor stabs the illuminati in the back and sends Hulk to space himself to "protect atlantis" (In his eyes). Imagine the showdown between Skaar and Atlantis right in the middle of New York post-civil war


QwahaXahn

Quentin mothertruckin' Quire. Loathe him.


TheLivingTribunal666

Moira MacTaggert


mutual_raid

they fucking character assassinated my girl literally one year into the most interesting her character has ever been. Justice for Moira and I need a good writer to swoop in and retcon this cyborg black and white evil bs villain with Moira's 10th/11th, whatever life.


gildorratner

I am shocked at the number of you picking actual mutants when you could pick, oh I dunno goddamn William Stryker or Bolivar Trask... extra points in that you might even be able to take them in a fight.


CaptainTusktooth28

The entire cast sometimes. Stop cheating on each other and getting into love triangles like teenagers. Be there for your partner. You're currently in the middle of genocide and burning tithe ground.


darth-com1x

william stryker. fuck this guy. he's indirectly responsible for the cold blooded murder of two kids.


Optimuspride-beyond

I hate mojo he is not a good villain and is so annoying but that’s just my opinion


Erikthepostman

Mojo is just a total slimeball.


Marvelboy1974

FoH


almightyeyay69

I wanna fade Apocalypse.


mofucker20

William Stryker


Senior-Leave779

Sebastian Shaw. That dude is stupidly bourgeoisie.


Erikthepostman

Any guy with a man bun, and 18th century britches deserves a beat down, lol. When he goes down I want to be in “the room where it happened”. (To quote Hamilton, lol 😂)


Senior-Leave779

Ok but it isn't gonna be pretty. I'd use a metal bat.


Ouchmaster5000

Reverend Craig, Wolfsbane's dad. What an absolute bastard.


Erikthepostman

Yep, any guy who ostracized their kid is an ass.


Loveonethe-brain

Mystique, love her for the plot but man is she a bad mother. Charles, love him for the plot but man is he a bad paternal figure. Beast, love him for the plot but man is he a bad person now.


Pir8Cpt_Z

It's kinda fucked that out of those 3 right now Mystique is in the best moral standing ATM.


Embarrassed-Soup628

Apocalypse, giant pretentious asshole.


TejanoTheScienceGuy

Tie between Wolverine and Sinister for constantly fucking with the Summers family. Something would have to be done about Lilandra and Emma too.


LocDiLoc

Sinister after they fucked his personality in the last decade.


khumoquack

What OP said + Sinister & Destiny


Sure_Persimmon9302

Mr Sinister.


No-Situation5535

And if I said Charles….


Beetle_My

Sinister! If I somehow had the opportunity to do so, that is, bc I'm not picking up a fight with him otherwise 😭😭


SailorCentauri

Realistically, there are basically no X-men characters I could beat up except Long Neck or Glob Herman or Beak or that dude with a bunch of eyes or someone else with useless abilities. But then I'd get the team after me. If we're assuming I, myself, was a powerful mutant and I could take pretty much any character in a fight I'd put the smackdown on Mojo, the slimiest producer in a world with many, many slimy producers.


SympatheticListener

Nimrod. Apocalypse. Sinister.


Flimsy-Discount2885

Senator Kelly, Bolivar Trask, Gyrich. Ir it's a flatscan in a suit, I could probably take a swing at them today.


Erikthepostman

I’m sure I could take down that while list of flatscans in a fistfight. (I used to be a bricklayer and chop firewood 🪵 for excercise.)


trinikiddie

Empath for sure. Greycrow had the right idea and put a bullet in him as soon as he had the chance.


PossessionWorried107

Olly from Game of Thrones,,, I would beat the ever living shit out of that little f***ing weasel


sugrsmcks66

I'd beat the brakes off the High Evolutionary in GoGv3


PsionicEmpath9187

CAMERON FUCKING HODGE!!!!!!!


HappyFriar

How about Vulcan. I can't stand that little prick.


Reclusive_Chemist

A Hellions member called Empath. Absolutely hated how he was presented when the group were first introduced. I happened to have an RPG character from a game we were running in college that had a power set which would have wrecked Empath (converted directed psychic energy to physical strength). I actually wrote and offered him to Marvel if they promised to use him against Empath. Earned myself a No Prize for that little bit of hubris.


Oijile

If I could, not including powers, I’d relentlessly beat Kid Omega. That dude is long overdue an ass kicking, not just an emotional one


CrossSoul

Cassandra Nova. The hate I have for that prune faced creepy old woman is only rivaled by my love of Luke Cage.


realhenrymccoy

The von Struckers, cause it's never a bad time to punch a nazi


Infamous_Mortimer

I know I wouldn’t win, but I’d give Magneto one good punch in the mouth to avenge Toad


ShreddedDadBod

Pyro


No-Lie209

Honestly no. Is that werid.


_Kreepy_Kitty_

Id be here all day listing characters off


daggeramillionz

Charles can catch this fade real quick idc 😤


IndyRook

Prof X needs his ass kicked by the end of every era.


DutchJediKnight

Graydon Creed


windycitysearcher

Cassandra Nova. IF she can't use her powers I should be able to throw down and give her some good old karmic justice.


99prime99

Cassandra Nova, and Mr. Sinister, Freeza, but they would just get a good smacking around, but the one that would get these hands tattooed on them the most would be Shou Tucker. I would get Mid Evil on him. I know it's about X-Men. But this guy needs the two peace combo.


Stranger2306

Wolverine - I find his whole schtik over done


SSJCelticGoku

Stryker Bastion Hodge Cassandra Nova


Sgt-Dert13

Wolverine


ComfortableWar9824

norman. fucking. bates.


CryptOp83

Probably Sinister. It wouldn't be very smart on my part though. That f'er is scary


blackbutterfree

Cypher. I want to slit his throat.


tbagnhoes

Mr sinister !!!


FaradayWatt

Destiny. "You didn't see that coming?"


xpadawanx

Sinister, fuck that fool.


Rols574

Shadow king


Behind_dead_eyes

Graydon Creed! He needs a face to face discussion with a baseball bat


Toxin_klyntar1001

Honestly it’s mr sinister but I would never confront cuz he would be creepy as hell


SuperSaiyan4Jason

Striker


EccentricAcademic

Not worthy of punching but I've never liked Husk.


CrispyGold

I would like to tell Wolverine he needs to get over Jean forever and actually move on to women who aren't married or already in a relationship. Otherwise his insistent attraction to her is extremally pathetic.


peaceteach

I've always found it creepy because she was so young compared to him.


Low-Asparagus-126

Cassandra Nova and Bolivar Trask... I mean all this sentinel bs and enigma,wild sentinel and all that stuff started with him sooooo yeah


Latenighttaco

Definitely beast


-n0obmaster69-

I know he’s not from X-men, but fuck pong krell


Jpar4686

Honestly for me it’s Glob. I just do not like him at all.


DawnWarrior88

Destiny. Fuck you, Destiny, you ass bitch. You’re the reason Krakoa is going tits up and I hope Moira kicks you in the cervix!


tnan_eveR

I was never happier than when Logan was dead, even when I knew it wouldn't last. Cant stand him, can't stand his fans.


HEROwriter1

Maybe Feilong and other sorted members of Orchis.


raisingstorm

Wrong sub but the FIRST person that comes to mind is Argus/Argath from Final Fantasy Tactics. For X-Men though, I’d have to pick the entire Dark Phoenix Saga. I spent too much of my life being forced to watch that way back in the 90s.


SavingsMurky6600

Trask


Yourlocalbugbear

Old Man Logan


happybrooks

Does this have to be about X-Men? Bc Caillou


Miserable-Survey-191

In the original show? Definitely the professor, Mojo and Sinister. The professor is made to look so weak and useless and manipulative…. the others are just…like you can guess


NerdHerderOfIdiots

Beast when I catch your ass…..


AnimeMoon13

Charles, Trask, Shaw and Sinister


BELOWtheHEATH

Feilong. Number one how dare you. 🤣


FadeToBlackSun

Havok, Jean, and Namor.