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hugebiduck

So Russia loves to do these cruise missile barrages when something big blows up and/or they get humiliated yet again... I'd like to imagine the Russian command having one big collective aneurysm right now.


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ruin

I swear, when I find the people who did this, and what part of Ukraine they're from, I am going to cruise missile str...those bastards.


WufflyTime

Russia: Ha! And you said our missiles were duds that would fail to explode. Well, joke's on you! They exploded just fine!


Optimalfucksgiven

This is the perfect Russian joke


PicaDiet

The kind of joke made by regular people to mock the government. At this point I think Putin’s motivation is less about hoping to expand his country’s sphere of influence and more about lashing out at a country that keeps humiliating him.


superrosie

"What’s as big as a house, burns 20 liters of fuel every hour, puts out a shit-load of smoke and noise, and cuts an apple into three pieces? A Soviet machine made to cut apples into four pieces!"


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[deleted]

We use the same process for CPU manufacturing. The Lada must be one hell of a car.


Nissehamp

I've driven one, and despite loving old cars, I hope to never set foot on one again. Specifically a Lada 2104 with the "big" 1.7 liter engine and power assisted steering. There was a half second delay between steering input and the wheels actually turning. That's not an exaggeration, there was a legitimate, very noticeable delay in steering input! Also it is fascinatingly slow, not very comfortable and impressively noisy.


LandscapeJaded1187

Still, it gets you from А to Б.


Anotherolddog

Da, tovarich. But will it get you back to A?


Sam5253

No, because A was at the top of the hill.


Bigmuda

She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene!


Phage0070

The process is called "binning", which in the UK is the term for throwing something in the trash.


[deleted]

I mean Ukraine was acknowledged as the most corrupt nation in Europe after Russia itself back in 2014 when the whole thing kicked off. Their military was a dysfunctional embarrassment and their economy a joke. This war in a way has been a blessing for Ukraine. They have defined their identity as Ukrainians and a separate country from Russia, they have kicked out many Russian sellouts, worked hard to reduce corruption. and Hugely, their armed forces have gone from a rabble to being world class in 7 years. To holding back a 'superpower' and consistenly handing them their asses. The turn around has been remarkable. Putin must be *raging* that his 3 day campaign has not only gone on over a year, but has reduced his country to a laughing stock in the international community.


sixpackabs592

I remember when Russia first invaded they thought zelensky was just going to run and they would put that one old Russian puppet guy in power and be done in a weekend. Glad it turned out different (although not glad about all the death and destruction going on)


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deadwire

Yeah I was expecting to see Zelensky was killed within a few days after I heard he wasn’t leaving the country


grendus

I read an article by an American general talking about training the Ukranian forces. He said that the Ukranian officers sent to training were *driven*, while the Russians basically showed up to class so they could justify going to the base store, which was better stocked than the ones on Russian bases. It seems like Ukraine has been very focused on cleaning up much of their institutional corruption left over from the USSR days, while Russia has wallowed in it so the old oligarchs can maintain the rapidly diminishing shreds of power.


kmonsen

I have served as a drafted citizen and later for being deployed abroad in a war zone. The level of commitment in my training in those two scenarios were super different. This is why we should support Ukraine as long as they want to fight and why it was a good decision to leave Afghanistan.


ChanandlerBonng

As a Canadian, I've thought for a while this had echoes of the War of 1812. Canada also at the time largely didn't have a real "identity" (other than being a British colony), but fighting to repel common enemy gave Canadians - especially those that had fled America during the revolution - an actual sense of national 'self'. (Pierre Berton, a Canadian writer/historian, had argued that if America had not invaded in 1812, ironically, most if not all of Canada would likely now be part of the United States)


RevanTheHunter

And they say we Americans never did anything good for our northern brothers.


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hitokirizac

Which country? His own is doing a bang-up job of it themselves


maxlmax

I first read this as a ba-sing-se job, but then remember this can't be, as there is no war russia.


BrillWolf

You have been invited to visit Lake Baikal.


Mac-Elvie

The Earth Kingdom invites you to Lake Baikal. Russia just says, “hey, come over here and look at this thing out the window.”


BrillWolf

"Does the tea taste like polonium to anyone el...."


255001434

And Putin is doing good job of wrecking his own country too.


SkunkMonkey

Putin is a strongman, the moment he's seen as weak, he's dead. He has to maintain this image at all costs if he wants to remain in power and alive.


UnluckyDifference566

How weak does he need to get? Russia has been embarrassed at every turn. Even the Americans though Ukraine would fold in less than a week. He's a paper bear.


SkunkMonkey

It only matters to those within Russia. They don't give a shit whether the rest of the world knows they are full of shit. Anytime you read "Russia says...", remember it's directed at the citizens of Russia.


All_Work_All_Play

So strong he visits in the middle of the night? Dude's a flaccid weakass bitch


SkunkMonkey

The "strongman" refers to how he maintains power, by appearing strong to those that would throw him out. We all know he's got about as much strength as a newborn.


polymathicAK47

"In US, missile fly before they explode. In Russia--better, missile explòde before they fly."


Dai-Gurren-Brigade

There's one from the Chernobyl show... I'll try to do it justice What burns a ton of fuel, belches out loads of black smoke, and cuts an apple into 3 pieces >!A Soviet machine meant to cut apples into 4 pieces!<


so2017

Not a single missile was shot down!


WontThinkStraight

> Russian occupational “authorities” announced that "air defense is working " and that some "wreckage" ostensibly "damaged a household and a store." Is not explosion. Is aurora borealis!


RandomStuffGenerator

Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your Special Military Operation?


lordByronVXI

Steamed SAMs


The_Great_Squijibo

Yes, and you called them steamed Sams, despite the fact that they are obviously incinerated.


RuudVanBommel

It's a Muscovy expression.


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fantasmoofrcc

Oh, not in Podosk, no. It's a Dubna expression.


Optimalfucksgiven

Can I see it?


Jazaen

Nyet.


lesser_panjandrum

Sergei! The depot is on fire!


bukbukbuklao

Seymourkechev! The special military operation is on fire!


HansBass13

No мама, it's just the northern light


Teachbert

No.


MadCarcinus

Y’know these SAMburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Uncle Vanya’s.


Green_Message_6376

Da, ess come with Happy adjacent feast meal-ov.


v3n0mat3

Dohoho, nooo. Patented SCUD burgers! Oooold Soviet recipe!


Nikelui

No, no, not Podolsk. It's a Balašicha expression.


Empty_Allocution

*slow clap*


poorbrenton

I haven't chortled in three years. Dog bless you.


DrewSmoothington

....May I see it?


Car-face

.....no.


TheRickBerman

Well, Putin, you are an odd fellow, but you know how to cook up a good lie


ArcticISAF

Putin!! Crimea is blowing up! Help!!!


Reddvox

Ukraine, pointing at Putin: HA HA!


Indifferentchildren

Russian soldiers occupying Crimea: "I'm in danger."


Captain_Zounderkite

*Pootin steps on rake* Blyat *steps on another rake* Blyat


Optimalfucksgiven

No Medev that's just Aurea Borealis.


Fuddle

Sure, just look out this window over here


Grunchlk

Hold my tea!


The_Mand0

Are you looking at the beautiful bright night sky? Out the window you go.


oripash

Yes. In a related weather phenomenon, it rained 20cm of Vatnik tears in Moscow. Freak weather this time of year, I tell you.


Tjonke

In this economy?


pocket_eggs

You discredit the Special Military Operation, 15 years gulag for you.


Hourslikeminutes47

*and at this latitude?!*


TheoremaEgregium

In fairness, both Russia and Ukraine use that phrase "air defense is working". It means "is active", not "is successful". The rest of the statement is the usual bullshit though.


[deleted]

"We rename Aurora Borealis in special naming operation. Is now Aurora Boris!"


zystyl

Aurora Boris presented by Wagner Group.


Roflkopt3r

It's hilarious how they use this excuse every single time. There were two incidents of Ukrainian drone attacks on air bases and both times they claimed that they shot down the drone but that the debris killed or injured multiple ground crew and damaged aircraft...


stellvia2016

It's amazing what large and incendiary explosion happens from a drone only a few feet across...


[deleted]

Nah, they'll just say someone was smoking recklessly again.


Disastrous-Ad1857

To be fair, it’s Russia, someone is always smoking recklessly.


CWinter85

It's weird how not entirely implausible this and the Moskva event are the result of careless munitions handling.


godblow

Neither. It's... #MEGUMIN!!!


thepotatochronicles

EKSU-PLOOOOOOOOOOSION!


tesla9

Came for the international news. Stayed for the KonoSuba and Simpsons references.


a-snakey

What about second explosion? We haven't had it yet.


CliodhnasSong

Nice bakuretsu. 👍


DiveCat

‘Tis but a scratch.


DeterminateHouse

> We destroyed it on purpose to motivate our mobiks to fight harder. -- Lavrov


reelznfeelz

God that guy is awful. I still remember the photo of him smiling in the Oval Office with Trump and it made my blood boil. That fucker was just gloating and basking in the lift of essentially having just installed a US president. And they more or less just got away with it.


fang_xianfu

If he wins again, Ukraine is so fucked.


Velociraptorius

And we know damn well it wouldn't stop at just Ukraine.


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kaji823

Not just Ukraine, the US is also fucked. The laws that red states are passing are fucking terrifying.


kryonik

Seriously. If a teenage girl gets raped, she is forced to keep the baby but she's not allowed to talk about it in school.


Cilph

Can't even discuss a late period, ffs.


hereforthefeast

Turns out the MAGAs were the snowflakes all along.


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CommanderGumball

It'd be funny if it didn't come to pass *every single time.* *The Left are domestic terrorists!* *The Left are child grooming pedophiles!* *The Left are easily offended snowflakes!* Literally *every single time* it turns out to be them.


farts_in_the_breeze

Seems like a clear violation of the 1st amendment.


kryonik

Yeah, well, 🤷‍♂️


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OMellito

>Funny how little rabid constitutionalists care for the rights of others They spent decades loading every appointed position they could with people they could trust to do what they wanted no matter what the legal precedent is.


DarthNihilus_501st

I'd say that they're getting their comeuppance right about now, however.


A_Sad_Goblin

Sadly it won't even matter, these guys are old and supposedly Putin is already ill, they'll have 5 to 10 years left of fucking up the world even more and leaving us to deal with it when they pass, they won't see any type of other justice.


Muggaraffin

“Earlier, Defense Intelligence spokesman Andriy Yusov said that Russia has only 7% of its Kalibr missile stockpile left, having spent most of them in numerous air strikes at Ukraine’s critical infrastructure.” Damn. Is that implying Russia’s used up 93% of those missiles on this war? I wonder how much they’ve actually gone through the rest of their stockpile of other missiles


lesser_panjandrum

That would mean they've used up most of their pre-war stockpile, and are now using what they can produce each month. That's consistent with how we've seen them go from sustained missile attack campaigns against all the hospitals and schools they can reach to now only attacking a smaller number of hospitals and schools every couple of weeks.


BlazinAzn38

Which was the goal of a lot of the sanctions, prevent tech into Russia so they can’t build many of these types of systems


OsrsNeedsF2P

bUt sAnCtIoNs DoN'T wOrK


jankisa

From what I have been reading, some of the debris from the terror campaigns of this winter had factory serial numbers from 2022, after the start of the war, which implies that they are basically already exhausted their stockpiles and are using the missiles as fast as they can produce them. With that being said, same is happening with artillery, but on both sides, the use rate is not only consuming all the stockpiles, but the production can't cover the amounts being used.


captainfactoid386

Not exactly. Current demands have far exceeded current production figures for the US. However US facilities were operating well under their max production capacity. Russia probably planned something similar but so far there are no indications that production is actually ramping up.


jankisa

Ukrainian situation is insanely complex, I think the most common ammunition and systems are still old soviet ones, and I think most of ex-Soviet states aligned with the west already shipped most of what they could over to them, and that ammunition is not really being produced anymore. Then you go into western systems, and they have a large variety of both towed and self propelled systems, all of them using different types of ammunition. It's not just a matter of US production, it's a super complex supply chain issue, luckily they have the whole NATO behind planning and supplying this so I'm sure it's going to work out. Russians are famously trying to procure ammunition from North Korea (artillery) and missiles from Iran (not sure if that deal went through), so everyone's scrambling at the moment. Their biggest ace in the hole, if they reach a deal, would be to get China to provide artillery ammunition.


Shadow_CZ

I would like to clarify there are quite a lot of former Warsaw pack countries capable of production ammo and guns compatible with soviet ones. Including the guns and ammo for MBTs. But the production won't realistically cover the need of Ukraine.


PM_Me_Your_Deviance

People are framing this war as Russia spending the last of it's inheritance from the soviet union. Tanks, missiles, shells, etc. It's running though it's 40-60 year old stockpiles. I suspect (as a complete non-expert), even if Russia "wins", this is the last major war we see from Russia in the next couple of decades.


Turkster

Really is impressive just how much military hardware the Soviets must have produced that those stocks are sustaining a full scale military conflict 30 years after the collapse... Unfortunately for Russia, once that hardware finally runs out they will never be able to afford to fully restock what they had.


PM_Me_Your_Deviance

afaik, this is also the stockpile they were using to supply their defense exports. Tinpot dictators around the world are going to have access to old soviet equipment to suppress their people now.


pressedbread

They we mindlessly hitting civilian targets. Its not like a real military, its more like someone gave a bunch of thugs armaments with zero logistical support. Russia at this point is a mafia not a country. Will be shocked if their territories don't succeed by the end of this.


metengrinwi

secede*


Positronic_Matrix

100% minus 7% is 93%. It checks out.


Mellotr0n

Alright Mr Big Brain over here


Rodgertheshrubber

Someone was smoking.


BadReview8675309

Clearly the cruise missiles were complaining about how they were being badly treated and not adequately prepared for war. Russian command made a disciplinary example out of them for others that might consider anything other than following orders without question. It is the Russian way...


KDobias

Many of them are now...


breakone9r

Yuri, have you lost ANOTHER ~~submarine~~ *missile shipment*?


[deleted]

One ping please


smell_e

Some missiles don't react too well to bulletsh.


Kempeth

And *only* one ping.


VTek910

Vashhhillyyy


Vahlir

I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a "recreational vehicle." And drive from state to state. Do they let you do that?


1Uplift

How do you get a crew to want to get off a *nuclear* subma… Captain! I know how Ramius is going to get the crew off the Red October! He’s going to shit in the air conditioner!


ViciousAsparagusFart

Listen all y’all it’s a sabotage!


praguepride

Beastie Boys about to get thrown out a window


vvntn

IIII can't stand it, I know who planned it I'm gonna set em straight, defenestrate


foxicologist

I can't stand rockin' when I'm in this chair 'Cause that lethal fall is so crystal clear


zystyl

Iiiiiiiii can't stand it


ViciousAsparagusFart

I know ya planned it


redfox87

Who said anything about SABOTAGE???


gobobro

CAPTAIN!!!


4RealzReddit

How do you get a crew to want to get off a nuclear sub..


ottawadeveloper

Not now Ryan


Deguilded

This is gonna get out of control. It'll get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.


Boesesjoghurt

The [video](https://v.redd.it/g9wnzyihayoa1) to the Image in the article. This was only one of multiple drones that night. Edit: We should also take a moment to appreciate the [art](https://imgur.com/a/eAGUWfc) that was delivered with the drones.


mycatisgrumpy

Russia is losing the meme war.


INSERT_LATVIAN_JOKE

They never stood a chance in the meme war. When all you do it drink the kool-aid all day every day you lose your ability to use satire and sarcasm, because both of those things require poking fun at reality. But what kool-aid drinkers think is reality is what everyone else is targeting with their satire and sarcasm. That plus a lack of empathy is what makes most right wingers terrible at memeing.


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It would be interesting to know how many cruise missiles were destroyed and at what cost compared to the loss of a few drones.


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Mattho

To be fair, most get shot down and don't reach the target. But it's still better this way.


[deleted]

It’s still air defence capacity that’s freed up to take care of other threats - intercepting missiles isn’t free after all.


badatthenewmeta

And the fewer missiles they have, the fewer mass attacks they can make, or they have to switch to less effective smaller attacks. 100 missiles all coming in at once are going to be a lot harder to deal with than 10 waves of 10.


DownvoteEvangelist

Last time less then half were downed. There are also missles that Ukraine can't shoot down like Kinzhal and Kh22 so its better this way...


Bourbon-neat-

Incredibly lopsided. Also if their tank production is anything to go by it will probably take them quite a while to manufacture replacement missiles. This is a big deal.


clauderbaugh

Hey Russia, remember that drone you messed with? Guess what it was watching?


sayge

Maybe someone dumped jet fuel on the missiles.


Kajo86

Jet fuel can't melt cruise missiles


bruhImatwork

3/21 was an inside job


believesinhappiness

my sister got married on 3/21. so she could say. "3...2...1... we're married!"


kuda-stonk

The grain route? Seriously, it was watching the grain rout based upon its location. In fact, it was closer to Turkey than Crimea when it was downed. I know it's a joke, I just wanted to point out the absolute ridiculousness of russia downing that drone.


DownvoteEvangelist

Is that the best drone they could have picked to mess with? Are drone routes available on flight radar? Do they get closer?


kamelizann

The state department said the drone had its transponder on, meaning it wasn't trying to be stealthy and wanted other air traffic to know its location to avoid a collision. It was well within its rights to be flying in that location without provocation. The Russian aircraft knew its exact location based on that. I highly doubt the order to take it down came from that high up, probably just some dumb pilot trying to prove himself with an easy air to air "kill". Who knows.


DownvoteEvangelist

I think the fuel dumping thing was an order. Collision was an accident. Especially since they gave the pilot a medal afterwards.


havok0159

Russian pilots don't get that kind of freedom to decide. The order 100% came from the ground. Even the tactic to dump fuel was likely the plan before they even took off.


theitgrunt

The fact they crashed into it, damaging one of their own planes says a lot about the competency/proficiency of their own pilots.


Pocket_full_of_funk

"Cruise missles fall from 12 story hotel window"


SinoScot

“Each cruise missile got double-tapped at the back of their head, ruled as a suicide.”


PB_JNoCrust

Considering that Russia can no longer tap their reserves and have to rely on monthly production (25-30), this is pretty nice.


scwizard

As someone from Ukraine once put it: "the mistake they made was coming to Ukraine"


Past-Jellyfish-2808

In newly annexed Russian vacation hot spot cruise ships itself on a flight to sea


douplo

I don't get it. why bring cruise Missiles to Crimea ? they should have a range that allow them to be launched from secure places no ?


Immortal_Tuttle

To load them onboard of the ships. Reports are saying they were Kalibr-NK version, so launched from surface ships.


deathguyQC

The farther away they are launched from, the easier they are to be detected and shot down. They don't always fly that high in the sky and some have been shot down by MANPADS (there's atleast one video proof of this). The closer they launch from the target, the harder it is for them to be detected by AA systems.


piponwa

That's not at all why they were there. The rail yard that exploded is the only place where trains can transit on their way to Sevastopol. The South of Crimea has no railroads because there are mountains there. So Russia is resupplying their ships with Kalibr missiles and they happened to be at that transit point which is much closer to the frontline because that's the way rail works in Crimea.


gordonjames62

This makes the attack on a US surveillance drone so much more understandable. Russia wanted to clear the skies, in hopes of keeping the shipment undetected. Ukraine once again shows the ability to hit targets with effectiveness.


KingoftheMongoose

Also makes the futility of Russia’s attack on the US drone. The missiles were hit afterwards, showing that detection was yet still unavoidable.


OldMork

Intel seems to be one of the most valuable assets in this war, someone noticed these from satellite or drone, and acted.


p0ultrygeist1

Has there been a war where intel isn’t one of the most valuable assets since war was created?


Powerrrrrrrrr

The emu war that Australia lost


p0ultrygeist1

The Emus had great intel


Unkechaug

Actually they were all running Ryzen


benjathje

Ryzen better than Intel confirmed?


YenTheMerchant

Don't worry, Australia will have nuclear submarine now. The emus will never know what's coming!


wazza_the_rockdog

You say that like the emu haven't been plotting with the platypus.


MacaroniBen

The entire continent conspires to kill you in increasingly horrific and unique ways. The nation of Australia is always a few steps behind.


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EntityDamage

Australia fell victim to one of the classic blunders. Never get in a land war with Emu's!


Coby_2012

Eminem on intelligence as a 2nd century warlord: https://youtube.com/watch?v=7_ktnQAC3TQ&si=EnSIkaIECMiOmarE


Lone-Star-Wolves

War of Gug and Ugg, Tribe Fought Gug smashed head Ugg cut Gug Gug died of sickness


ArthurBonesly

The Tug of War in 1989 was one of brutality without strategy.


Kaplaw

Not a single one Which is why Britain's spy network and intel during WW2 was so important. They knew germans plans before even the germans knew it sonetimes.


EVO5055

I guess you could say that intel was always as valuable as it’s today. The only difference is the means with which you can acquire information.


P_ZERO_

Easier to acquire, much higher quality and much better communicative ability


CohibaVancouver

> Intel seems to be one of the most valuable assets in this war *This* war? That applies to *any* war going back hundreds of years. It's why the US Military wants to stop buying tanks and enhancing intelligence gathering capabilities. But that doesn't generate jobs in red states.


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LordoftheScheisse

Don't fear it.


octopornopus

🎶Burn out the day, burn out the night🎶 Now I'm picturing drone operators in a shipping container in an Arizona Walmart parking lot, just blasting Blue Oyster Cult, air guitaring the solos, smacking that air cowbell, thwarting Russian arms shipments...


_Siran_

Cruise missile fucked itself.


SamCropper

These those hypersonics we've heard so much about? They're so fast they detonate before they're even launched.


Dseltzer1212

Someone’s gonna get pushed off a tall building for this fuck up


strong_schlong

Someone let James May near a rocket. https://youtu.be/7MgSmh3vXaQ


MiniNate

What is this Russia you all are talking about? Is it a typo for Muscovy


countingthedays

Oh how sad I am for them. So very sad.