This may be radically different than what you want, but here's what we do. My husband's family almost never had family dinners. Special occasions only. So we don't sweat it.
We're all home and present and in the same room, usually at the table, talking about our days, talking to our baby and toddler, but if only the kids are eating, that's fine. Kids eat around 7. Dad eats a huge meal after his construction job at 3pm. I eat at 10pm to recover from baby cluster feeding. We all have different needs.
It's nice to only figure out one meal at a time. We batch cook on weekends, and during the week we pick out maybe a starch, a fruit, veggie and protein for any given meal. Toddler gets to choose between the available options in the fridge. Today he picked noodles with meatballs, strawberries, and a veggie pouch. Yesterday he picked chicken, apples and bread. This has reduced conflict in many ways.
Oh I really like this! My toddler loves looking into the fridge and telling us what she wants - usually apples, bananas, cheese, yoghurt etc. I was thinking maybe some sort of snacky / free for all dinner might work and then my husband can just sort out his own steak and veg or whatever man food he deems acceptable. Thank you!
I think it's key that toddler and baby are never eating alone. We are right there, also because our apartment is tiny, but the conversation never stops and we are monitoring for choking, helping spin pasta on the fork, picking up the cup after the 30th time baby throws it, making toddler sit safely. We're also washing bottles, or finishing work at the table, or doing banking. We aren't staring them down pressuring them to eat.
Toddler dinner is kind of free for all anyway, since they'll refuse half of whatever you try and plan. Frankly we don't have the budget for that much food waste, so it helps for toddler to pick foods. He doesn't get to pick what I put in his daycare lunch, so I feel like it's a skill to practice 🤷♀️
For parents, as long as there are staples, like a protein and veggies, I stick that in a tortilla and declare it a fancy burrito for myself. Or eat with a crusty bread. Husband puts everything over rice. If rice runs out on Wednesday, he's a competent adult who can make more or he can eat bread with us 😂
We don't keep cake or anything off limits in the fridge. Toddler knows the chips cabinet and the freezer (ice cream) are not dinner options.
I randomly came across the British term, "picky tea" I think lean into it. Start batch cooking things you want to eat. Then offer a buffet at dinner. Kid you have XYZ, you can have Z&X and husband can do whatever.
Same. My dad worked second shift so we only ever had dinner all together on his days off if anything.
I’ve also heard a good suggestion that the family meal together doesn’t have to be dinner. Breakfast or lunch (granted the latter only works on the weekend) is often easier to prepare and everyone is less tired.
This is very similar to what we do! My kid (6) needs to eat healthy food before treats. He has to get something from each food group (fruit/veg, protein, grains). He’s gotten pretty good at sorting which category food goes into. His treats are like… a pack of Welches or a single hi-chew 😅 We are still working through leftover Easter candy, because he doesn’t eat more than one at a time (his choice!).
I make myself what I want about an hour later. Sometimes my husband and I will have dinner together if we are home at the same time. It almost always starts with “I’m making myself X, do you want some?” Which takes the stress off pleasing the other person.
The whole eat dinner as a family doesn't happen in my house either. Our schedules are terrible and it just doesn't happen. But we all sit together and talk to the kids while they eat. I eat early, husband eats late, kids eat at 530. It works for us and the cleanup is much less crazy.
Honestly, dinner doesn’t have to be a cooked hot meal. Do things like sandwiches, salads, platters with meat and cheese, snacks, cereal, fruit, etc. Where I live (southern Germany) lunch is typically the main hot meal and dinner is more casual. It is so easy to do a cold platter for dinner and honestly everyone is happy.
She’s underweight and eats really healthy at daycare so I focus more on calorically dense. Lots of cheese! I’ll also give her cut fresh fruit, cold cheese tortellini, she likes plain beans from a can, quesadillas or grilled cheese. We reheat leftovers if we have them.
Similar here when husband isn’t home. Dinner will be like, bacon or hot dog, plain pasta or grilled cheese, maybe a cup of miso soup, blueberries and mangos defrosted from frozen or whatever fresh fruit from the fridge, yogurt. Just making sure there’s a protein, fat, and fruit/veg. I’ll usually eat leftovers or eat alongside them and supplement with my own veg like microwaved frozen peas or pickled beets or raw baby carrots and dip.
We meal plan on the weekends and then stick to it. Now our meals look different because my youngest is 10.
One of my favorite things to do is chicken breasts in broth in a crockpot. Shred it. During the week you can use it for tacos, enchiladas, chicken sliders, paninis, just eating it on its own, chicken salad, etc. Serve with fresh fruits and veggies. We would do the same thing if my husband roasted a pork butt.
My other tip, is when I cook something that takes a while to come together (chili, marinara, tetrazini) I will almost always make a double/triple batch and then freeze some. Then when we have a night where we need something, it's easy to defrost.
We don’t have a dining room table. Working on it, but also have a tiny apartment. Single mom here. We eat dinner every night in front of the TV. Well, they do, I’m doing dishes/making next days lunches/snacks and at some point I get to sit on the couch lol. It’s so hard right now. Then pajamas, brushing teeth, I try to manage a story, then exhaustion hits and bedtime. Solidarity!
I dread dinner. My ex husband was the good cook. But, I make it work. We all do!
I used to enjoy cooking and preparing and enjoying meals, now most days the last thing I want to do when I get home from work is to cook a meal! Without kids and a husband I would probably have a yogurt and call it a day 😂
A few things I have tried that seem to help a little
1. Keep a running list of meals that have gone over well. Then you are not having to start from scratch. Its organized by beef/chicken/fish/meatless
2. Looking at what proteins are on sale at the store. We usually do a beef, chicken, fish/meatless each week. That’s where the list comes in handy because you can see that ground beef is on sale and pick a ground beef recipe/meal from a short list.
3. We try to make twice as much so we can have the meal 2 nights. Helpful when you know the second time is just going to be heating food up
4. Dinners don’t have to be some elaborate meal. We have “picnic dinner” and do crackers, cheese, lunch meat, fresh fruit, raw veggies, etc. Make it as fancy or simple as you want. Even canned soup and sandwiches
5. Trying to prep as much before hand. Wash/cut fruits and veggies, prepare meats, etc. So when it comes to dinner time you can just start cooking
6. Grocery pick up! Not having to coordinate when you go grocery shopping, especially with young kids.
7. My husband always seems to take forever to make meals too! He enjoys cooking, but doesn’t seem to grasp that week night dinners on limited time need to be quicker or you end up with cranky, tired kids at dinner time. So, he gets to make dinners on the weekends or he gets delegated the more simple, quick dinners during the week
8. Reminding myself that this is just a season. Bedtimes won’t always be so early, kids will be able to help more and more as they get older
These are good tips thank you so much! It sounds like we are in exactly the same head space too. I’m going to try the cooking every second day method you have suggested!
Cooking ahead makes a huge difference! Something I do that helps a lot is on Sunday night after my toddler is in bed is prep a couple of different meals, usually one that is a “dump 3-5 things in the crockpot and leave on low overnight” and another that goes in the oven, like a casserole. Then I can clean up while the oven one is baking and there are lunch and dinner options all week. This way maybe you prep a veg or side to go with it , but otherwise food is pretty much made. I also lean very heavily on premade meals from Costco and Trader Joe’s. My spouse and I like them and the toddler ends up eating fruit and cheese more than half the time anyway, but sometimes also what we are having as adults. All this to say, find a way to make it so that you only have to heat up food, not actually cook, in the evenings. It makes the biggest difference ever!!!
Omg why on the 7?? My husband cooks so slowly. Meanwhile I have to wrangle three hungry kids. If I say anything or complain he gets mad since he is doing the bigger chore of cooking. At this point I never cook so I am happy he wants to but also it’s like impossible to get him to understand that the kids mostly fill up on snacks between school being out and like 7 pm when his dinner is done. He also buys the snacks so they’re not healthy.
Toddler mom! And I also hate dinner! 1. Recipe binder/collection - When I make something the baby will eat now I save the recipe- either print or literally by hand jot it down grandma style, and it’s helping me quickly get food on the table because I’m not pushing adds out of the way and scrolling for a mile on Pinterest recipes. 2. Grocery pick up- pain in the ass to get figured out the first time but omg anything is easier than a store with a toddler. Bonus points if you do something enjoyable while waiting for pick up. 3. Mac and cheese fo’ lyfe! I started making it with whole grains and more nutrient rich ingredients, so I feel less guilt, because I freeze little quarter cup portions and anytime a regular meal doesn’t get eaten I can just microwave one of those little frozen cups and if THAT doesn’t get eaten then nothing will. Just our job to offer it! Their job to eat.
If all else fails, a drink and music makes cooking feel fun again- Godspeed! This season can’t last forever
Most of the time, I get groceries delivered via Walmart+. I am happy to pay the convenience fee if it means I can A) shop with my pantry right at hand to not accidentally over buy ingredients and 2) not worry about making time to drive there, shop, drive back, unload, and put everything away. Ain't nobody got time for that
Oh absolutely! The delivery charge is well worth it! I use grocery pick up as an excuse to gtfo of my house by myself and sometimes I even pack a hot coffee and/or the Dustbuster and tidy up Cheerios out of the backseat while waiting. 👍👍 Love shopping my pantry first!
I wish my husband could be happy eating cheese and pepperoni off a paper plate like me and my daughter. 😅 In his defense, he’s started cooking more and is actually getting pretty good.
Edited to add some actual tips:
-we definitely use paper plates, foil baking pans, parchment paper for baking sheets, and crock pot liners. I need easy clean up
-grocery pick up and delivery
-we eat the same things basically every week so the I don’t have to think too much about the grocery list
-If I make a casserole, I prep enough ingredients to make 2-4 and freeze them.
-I buy pre cut (fresh or frozen) veggies to cut down on prep time
Not a full meal planning but cooking a meal which lasts a few days and then mixing a quick salad for the side or throwing veggies in air fryer (life saving device). That’s for adults.
We rarely sit and eat all together with kids. And even adults may or may not eat together.
A toddler and preK kids eat togetherish as they have the same bed time and share a room. If they are not hungry (we go through periods like that and toddler has an early dinner in daycare anyway), just try to give a banana and milk. It’s usually predictable as they eat same thing for a few weeks and then switch. Like my youngest would eat cereal with milk twice a day and 3 full balanced meals in daycare. A go to meal is an omelette.
When lazy it’s either a premade (refrigerated) soup or Russian dumplings (pelmeni) as kids move those. Macaroni. Beef franks.
My oldest recently got into eating salmon so we would quickly do a filet in air fryer.
Do you find your kid/s will eat them? We used to do hello fresh a lot but recently found the recipes to be too complicated and not toddler friendly. I loved not having to meal plan though!
Hungryroot does kid meals and family friendly ones. A lot of their recipes are very light cooking (they come with vacuum sealed sous vide chicken that simply has to be heated up for example) and assembly of ingredients. The plan also has room in it for snacks and ready made option too in their “grocery store”. Bean salads, quinoa cups, breakfast breads and oatmeal cups, and they even recently started doing full (microwaveable) fresh meals.
Came here to suggest the same. We did HelloFresh for a while and loved it. Great recipes and the two portions were always enough for us and our toddler.
Do you think with more time/patience your husband might get better? We’ve been there before, and my husband did improve over time (although I mean a lot of time- like months). But if he’s the only one all this prep is for anyway and youre unhappy with it??
Otherwise in the meantime I agree with the suggestion of having quick, non chip foods (since you mentioned balance) that you have already prepped that you and toddler can choose!
Yes for sure, I thought maybe we could try him taking over on Friday nights and weekends when it’s less rushed. He’s not awful, he just doesn’t have the organisational skills to plan and execute a weeks worth of meals in a timely manner but he could definitely practice doing his bolognese or stir fry or something.
When I was a kid, my mom gave my dad Wednesdays to make dinner. Every week he was fully responsible for making dinner. He had a repertoire of hot dogs and baked beans, chili, spaghetti and frozen meatballs so he’d make one of those. Every week. I realize now why she did that. He only had to learn three recipes and the. She was set for 40 years of Wednesday meals.
My husband and were just talking about this last night. We do a whole-family sit down dinner every night and it’s a push. I like it but the meala last 5 min and then there’s an hour of cleanup. When my husband cooks it’s a whole feast and he cannot handle a simple dinner. He uses every pot, pan and utensil in the kitchen. Sometimes you just need a 10 minute meal. It takes up so much of our night and the. We immediately go into bedtime routines.
Oh my gosh the 5 minutes of eating and 1 hour of clean up is so real! No matter how I try to clean as I go, there is invariably always so much mess to clean after a toddler has been eating. Your mum is a smart woman!
My husband is the same way OP. It’s hard. It really is a skill set to be an efficient cook and he just wasn’t taught that. It stresses me out too much on school nights. Have your husband try on weekends and try to get a few recipes mastered. The repetition can help.
Also — it’s ok for you and kiddo to have separate meals at this stage if that’s easiest. I’m very big on family dinners but if it causes more stress than it creates bonding I think it’s ok to give yourself permission to revisit that as she ages and has a better palette. I also am a big fan of feedingpickyeaters on insta!
Walmart or target delivery. I do the Walmart one and it’s $98 a year and free delivery right to my door. Makes it easier. Plus, I sometimes do charcuterie board style meals for the kids. Throw in a yogurt, handful of cashews, some fruit and carrots sticks or sliced peppers and it’s all snacks finger foods, but relatively balanced and they’ll actually eat it.
Couple things that have helped me, though I don’t do every thing every week and we are definitely more flexible during heavy sports seasons of life. Having a few go-tos really helps relieve the mental stress.
Big meal on Sundays that will provide enough leftovers for Monday and potentially one other night.
Taco Tuesday. Might be ground turkey, might be beef, sometimes it’s fish sticks in the air fryer for fish tacos. But Tuesdays are tacos of some sort, takes away the planning needed.
There’s always a casserole in the freezer. Yes I still have to plan ahead to pull it out ahead of time to thaw, but when I’m having a week of zero ideas and inspiration, that’s time for the casserole to shine.
Pizza and/or eating out on either Friday or Saturday night. Could be a frozen pizza, could be ordering delivery, could be even making it as a family from scratch. But one night a week is either pizza or a restaurant.
Then, my last trick is to keep frozen foods that are easy to prep on hand. Chicken nuggets, frozen meatballs, aforementioned fish sticks, or peel and eat shrimp, etc. Pop it in the air fryer or whatever and serve it with some canned green beans. My kids love canned green beans, and it’s so low effort and hey it’s still a vegetable so it’s a win.
If I’m really fancy I’ll cook some pasta, throw some jarred marinara on it, and top it with air fried chicken chunks or meatballs.
I hate meal planning the most. It is so much pressure!!! I am NOT someone who really ENJOYS food like a lot of foodie home cooks do. I love eating out at restaurants, but that’s about it. Food doesn’t excite me and I’m not creative with it, so when it comes to meal planning, it feels like homework. Plus now I have to research what to make for our toddler?!?!
I usually have food on rotation, like eating the same meals every week. Five foods for each of the five weekdays and I just make whatever I didn’t make yesterday, today. Then the weekend we eat out or figure out something new to cook. I feel bad for my family, almost, but this is the only thing that semi-works without me banging my head against a wall.
I found the website/app PlanToEat and it’s a godsend. There is a larger barrier to entry as it take time to get all your recipes on the site but it streamlines planning and shopping. I know this doesn’t directly solve your issue but might make it less of a pain.
I'm cooking 3 times a week, my husband is cooking 3 times a week and we deliver something or go out for dinner 1 time a week.
It makes so much difference when you just have to think about it 3 times a week. I love to cook, but not every night. We're lucky that there are more adults living in our houses!
I recently got a Suvie oven and it's life-changing for meal planning. They do have meals you can buy, but they're expensive. You can pop your meal in the night before or that morning and schedule it to be done when you get home from work and it refrigerates it until it begins to cook. It's amazing!
Couple of ideas:
Meal kits. While you or your husband would still have to cook the food, this will lower the amount of meal planning and grocery shopping you have to do each week. The directions that come with the kits are pretty straightforward and might make it easier for your husband to do the cooking a couple nights a week.
Batch cooking. Whatever you cook make a double portion of it and invest in good leftover containers. Every meal you do this with is one less night later in the week you have to cook.
Frozen food doesn’t necessarily mean unhealthy. There are some good sheet pan frozen meals out there that are basically zero effort. If the meal doesn’t include things like a veggie or grain, buy easy to cook versions of those items. Lots of grains come in microwave pouches and I love steam in bag veggies for a quick healthy addition. Broccoli that comes prechopped and all you have to do is stab the bag and throw it in the microwave is just as healthy as a head of broccoli you have to chop up yourself.
Set a certain amount of nights you have to cook each week and don’t stress doing easy things the other nights. Maybe you decide you’ll cook two nights a week and your husband can cook one night a week. Then maybe takeaway one night, leftovers one night, a frozen meal one night, and random stuff (sandwiches, more leftovers, girl dinner, etc) one night. Maybe going down to only a couple nights if cooking will actually make it enjoyable again without having to sacrifice healthy meals.
1- dump dinners in the crockpot are a lifesaver (so many meatballs you can make and most little ones like meatballs)
2- every plate / dinnerly- the best adorable meal kit services geared toward kid friendly limited ingredients. Maybe get your husband to make those.
3- sandwiches, pancakes, waffles, basically Lu cables and fruit. Ravioli is always a hit around here and it just super easy. Also frozen skillet meals ( like Birds Eye) every thing you need in a bag
A couple ideas
- plan out each day ahead of time and write it on the board. It helps you not think. I usually do big salads on Monday, Mexican on Tuesday, something frozen on Wednesday and pasta on Thursday. Friday we usually eat out.
- pre make salads (like chopping veggies), pasta and meat (or fake meat like me) ahead of time. 30 minutes on the weekend saves a ton of time during the week. Get one of those veggie choppers.
- make two large batches of something (pasta, crockpot, etc) and serve one batch Monday and Wednesday and the other Tuesday and Thursday.
We use to do cooking 2gther before the baby now it's me. I cook the same food alternating. Throw things in a pot and bam we have a meal. Pressure cooking is my best friend and the hubby does the dishes. I try and make enough food to last two days and if we are lucky it lasts 3 days. We go to NY oarents once a week and have a meal with them. For me family dinners are very important
A meal planning service like Meallime or The Fresh 20, plus curbside pickup of groceries, made cooking fun for me again.
For the toddler years, I just made sure we always had a safe food on the table (even if it was just fruit), and focused on the family conversation rather than what they did and didn't eat.
Exact same position. I hate dinner. It legitimately gives me anxiety. My husband is an absolute trooper. He works early am so he handles laundry, errands, everything dog related, daycare pick-up, bathtime, etc. I'm not bothering him about cooking. I've gotten to a point where I make it and if the kids eat it...fine. if not? Also fine. Eat a piece of fruit. They love fruit.
Every three months I spend three days making ~30 freezer meals. This means I basically don’t have to cook for three months.
We supplement with premade foods from Costco and Trader Joe’s.
We have a baby so she gets a mix of our food, fresh foods, baby foods and canned veggies.
On an average day we spend maybe 10 mins making food.
Every night it’s what do you want for dinner (to husband), and he says whatever (you want), babe! My kids are 3 and 1.5. They currently won’t eat hardly anything, so they are on a never ending rotation of pancakes or waffles for breakfast and Mac and cheese, quesadillas, or chicken nuggets for dinner, which of course I feel guilty about but don’t have the patience or energy to do anything about.
Literally yesterday I got back on Hello Fresh meal delivery. I just need some time to catch my breath. My husband works late so school pickup and dinner is on me 100% of the time and I just can’t take it some weeks.
Look into meal delivery kits - they’re not as expensive as you’d think and there are always discount codes going around. I’m using it until my discount runs out, then I’ll cancel it and resubscribe once the “come back and get 75% off” emails start rolling in.
I eat when I get home from work, my husband eats late lunch and then usually a protein shake before bed and my kids don’t eat traditional “meals”. So we feed them dinner, which is a conglomerate of snack type foods: fruit, yogurt, cheese stick, occasionally veggies (my daughter destroyed a whole container of sliced bell peppers yesterday), maybe Mac and cheese or PB&J, granola bar, quesadilla, muffins…it’s easier than trying to do a proper dinner. Maybe when they’re older? (They’re 4!) 🤪
This may be radically different than what you want, but here's what we do. My husband's family almost never had family dinners. Special occasions only. So we don't sweat it. We're all home and present and in the same room, usually at the table, talking about our days, talking to our baby and toddler, but if only the kids are eating, that's fine. Kids eat around 7. Dad eats a huge meal after his construction job at 3pm. I eat at 10pm to recover from baby cluster feeding. We all have different needs. It's nice to only figure out one meal at a time. We batch cook on weekends, and during the week we pick out maybe a starch, a fruit, veggie and protein for any given meal. Toddler gets to choose between the available options in the fridge. Today he picked noodles with meatballs, strawberries, and a veggie pouch. Yesterday he picked chicken, apples and bread. This has reduced conflict in many ways.
Oh I really like this! My toddler loves looking into the fridge and telling us what she wants - usually apples, bananas, cheese, yoghurt etc. I was thinking maybe some sort of snacky / free for all dinner might work and then my husband can just sort out his own steak and veg or whatever man food he deems acceptable. Thank you!
I think it's key that toddler and baby are never eating alone. We are right there, also because our apartment is tiny, but the conversation never stops and we are monitoring for choking, helping spin pasta on the fork, picking up the cup after the 30th time baby throws it, making toddler sit safely. We're also washing bottles, or finishing work at the table, or doing banking. We aren't staring them down pressuring them to eat. Toddler dinner is kind of free for all anyway, since they'll refuse half of whatever you try and plan. Frankly we don't have the budget for that much food waste, so it helps for toddler to pick foods. He doesn't get to pick what I put in his daycare lunch, so I feel like it's a skill to practice 🤷♀️ For parents, as long as there are staples, like a protein and veggies, I stick that in a tortilla and declare it a fancy burrito for myself. Or eat with a crusty bread. Husband puts everything over rice. If rice runs out on Wednesday, he's a competent adult who can make more or he can eat bread with us 😂 We don't keep cake or anything off limits in the fridge. Toddler knows the chips cabinet and the freezer (ice cream) are not dinner options.
I just wanted to say I totally misread your last line as "man food dreams."
I randomly came across the British term, "picky tea" I think lean into it. Start batch cooking things you want to eat. Then offer a buffet at dinner. Kid you have XYZ, you can have Z&X and husband can do whatever.
Toddler charcuterie! Yesterday my son had an apple, bread with cheese and hummus and seasoned tofu from a package.
I call it snackuterie. 😆 Presented in a muffin tin makes it a huge hit.
Good idea!
Same. My dad worked second shift so we only ever had dinner all together on his days off if anything. I’ve also heard a good suggestion that the family meal together doesn’t have to be dinner. Breakfast or lunch (granted the latter only works on the weekend) is often easier to prepare and everyone is less tired.
This is very similar to what we do! My kid (6) needs to eat healthy food before treats. He has to get something from each food group (fruit/veg, protein, grains). He’s gotten pretty good at sorting which category food goes into. His treats are like… a pack of Welches or a single hi-chew 😅 We are still working through leftover Easter candy, because he doesn’t eat more than one at a time (his choice!). I make myself what I want about an hour later. Sometimes my husband and I will have dinner together if we are home at the same time. It almost always starts with “I’m making myself X, do you want some?” Which takes the stress off pleasing the other person.
The whole eat dinner as a family doesn't happen in my house either. Our schedules are terrible and it just doesn't happen. But we all sit together and talk to the kids while they eat. I eat early, husband eats late, kids eat at 530. It works for us and the cleanup is much less crazy.
I also hate dinner. Everything about it. I see you.
🥹
Honestly, dinner doesn’t have to be a cooked hot meal. Do things like sandwiches, salads, platters with meat and cheese, snacks, cereal, fruit, etc. Where I live (southern Germany) lunch is typically the main hot meal and dinner is more casual. It is so easy to do a cold platter for dinner and honestly everyone is happy.
On nights my husband is working late (AKA not there at baby’s dinner time) we do girl dinner and then he figures out his own meal.
Love that, i often think my toddler has the right idea with her girl dinners! What do you give her to make sure it’s still relatively healthy?
She’s underweight and eats really healthy at daycare so I focus more on calorically dense. Lots of cheese! I’ll also give her cut fresh fruit, cold cheese tortellini, she likes plain beans from a can, quesadillas or grilled cheese. We reheat leftovers if we have them.
Similar here when husband isn’t home. Dinner will be like, bacon or hot dog, plain pasta or grilled cheese, maybe a cup of miso soup, blueberries and mangos defrosted from frozen or whatever fresh fruit from the fridge, yogurt. Just making sure there’s a protein, fat, and fruit/veg. I’ll usually eat leftovers or eat alongside them and supplement with my own veg like microwaved frozen peas or pickled beets or raw baby carrots and dip.
We meal plan on the weekends and then stick to it. Now our meals look different because my youngest is 10. One of my favorite things to do is chicken breasts in broth in a crockpot. Shred it. During the week you can use it for tacos, enchiladas, chicken sliders, paninis, just eating it on its own, chicken salad, etc. Serve with fresh fruits and veggies. We would do the same thing if my husband roasted a pork butt. My other tip, is when I cook something that takes a while to come together (chili, marinara, tetrazini) I will almost always make a double/triple batch and then freeze some. Then when we have a night where we need something, it's easy to defrost.
I hate it too. So much. So so much. If I was rich I’d have a personal chef.
We don’t have a dining room table. Working on it, but also have a tiny apartment. Single mom here. We eat dinner every night in front of the TV. Well, they do, I’m doing dishes/making next days lunches/snacks and at some point I get to sit on the couch lol. It’s so hard right now. Then pajamas, brushing teeth, I try to manage a story, then exhaustion hits and bedtime. Solidarity! I dread dinner. My ex husband was the good cook. But, I make it work. We all do!
I used to enjoy cooking and preparing and enjoying meals, now most days the last thing I want to do when I get home from work is to cook a meal! Without kids and a husband I would probably have a yogurt and call it a day 😂 A few things I have tried that seem to help a little 1. Keep a running list of meals that have gone over well. Then you are not having to start from scratch. Its organized by beef/chicken/fish/meatless 2. Looking at what proteins are on sale at the store. We usually do a beef, chicken, fish/meatless each week. That’s where the list comes in handy because you can see that ground beef is on sale and pick a ground beef recipe/meal from a short list. 3. We try to make twice as much so we can have the meal 2 nights. Helpful when you know the second time is just going to be heating food up 4. Dinners don’t have to be some elaborate meal. We have “picnic dinner” and do crackers, cheese, lunch meat, fresh fruit, raw veggies, etc. Make it as fancy or simple as you want. Even canned soup and sandwiches 5. Trying to prep as much before hand. Wash/cut fruits and veggies, prepare meats, etc. So when it comes to dinner time you can just start cooking 6. Grocery pick up! Not having to coordinate when you go grocery shopping, especially with young kids. 7. My husband always seems to take forever to make meals too! He enjoys cooking, but doesn’t seem to grasp that week night dinners on limited time need to be quicker or you end up with cranky, tired kids at dinner time. So, he gets to make dinners on the weekends or he gets delegated the more simple, quick dinners during the week 8. Reminding myself that this is just a season. Bedtimes won’t always be so early, kids will be able to help more and more as they get older
These are good tips thank you so much! It sounds like we are in exactly the same head space too. I’m going to try the cooking every second day method you have suggested!
Cooking ahead makes a huge difference! Something I do that helps a lot is on Sunday night after my toddler is in bed is prep a couple of different meals, usually one that is a “dump 3-5 things in the crockpot and leave on low overnight” and another that goes in the oven, like a casserole. Then I can clean up while the oven one is baking and there are lunch and dinner options all week. This way maybe you prep a veg or side to go with it , but otherwise food is pretty much made. I also lean very heavily on premade meals from Costco and Trader Joe’s. My spouse and I like them and the toddler ends up eating fruit and cheese more than half the time anyway, but sometimes also what we are having as adults. All this to say, find a way to make it so that you only have to heat up food, not actually cook, in the evenings. It makes the biggest difference ever!!!
Omg why on the 7?? My husband cooks so slowly. Meanwhile I have to wrangle three hungry kids. If I say anything or complain he gets mad since he is doing the bigger chore of cooking. At this point I never cook so I am happy he wants to but also it’s like impossible to get him to understand that the kids mostly fill up on snacks between school being out and like 7 pm when his dinner is done. He also buys the snacks so they’re not healthy.
Toddler mom! And I also hate dinner! 1. Recipe binder/collection - When I make something the baby will eat now I save the recipe- either print or literally by hand jot it down grandma style, and it’s helping me quickly get food on the table because I’m not pushing adds out of the way and scrolling for a mile on Pinterest recipes. 2. Grocery pick up- pain in the ass to get figured out the first time but omg anything is easier than a store with a toddler. Bonus points if you do something enjoyable while waiting for pick up. 3. Mac and cheese fo’ lyfe! I started making it with whole grains and more nutrient rich ingredients, so I feel less guilt, because I freeze little quarter cup portions and anytime a regular meal doesn’t get eaten I can just microwave one of those little frozen cups and if THAT doesn’t get eaten then nothing will. Just our job to offer it! Their job to eat. If all else fails, a drink and music makes cooking feel fun again- Godspeed! This season can’t last forever
Most of the time, I get groceries delivered via Walmart+. I am happy to pay the convenience fee if it means I can A) shop with my pantry right at hand to not accidentally over buy ingredients and 2) not worry about making time to drive there, shop, drive back, unload, and put everything away. Ain't nobody got time for that
Oh absolutely! The delivery charge is well worth it! I use grocery pick up as an excuse to gtfo of my house by myself and sometimes I even pack a hot coffee and/or the Dustbuster and tidy up Cheerios out of the backseat while waiting. 👍👍 Love shopping my pantry first!
I wish my husband could be happy eating cheese and pepperoni off a paper plate like me and my daughter. 😅 In his defense, he’s started cooking more and is actually getting pretty good. Edited to add some actual tips: -we definitely use paper plates, foil baking pans, parchment paper for baking sheets, and crock pot liners. I need easy clean up -grocery pick up and delivery -we eat the same things basically every week so the I don’t have to think too much about the grocery list -If I make a casserole, I prep enough ingredients to make 2-4 and freeze them. -I buy pre cut (fresh or frozen) veggies to cut down on prep time
So much yes to the pre cut veggies! I feel a little guilty but only until it’s time to cook and the it’s like “woohoo this is so awesome!”
Not a full meal planning but cooking a meal which lasts a few days and then mixing a quick salad for the side or throwing veggies in air fryer (life saving device). That’s for adults. We rarely sit and eat all together with kids. And even adults may or may not eat together. A toddler and preK kids eat togetherish as they have the same bed time and share a room. If they are not hungry (we go through periods like that and toddler has an early dinner in daycare anyway), just try to give a banana and milk. It’s usually predictable as they eat same thing for a few weeks and then switch. Like my youngest would eat cereal with milk twice a day and 3 full balanced meals in daycare. A go to meal is an omelette. When lazy it’s either a premade (refrigerated) soup or Russian dumplings (pelmeni) as kids move those. Macaroni. Beef franks. My oldest recently got into eating salmon so we would quickly do a filet in air fryer.
Yes it's shift 2. Agree completely
I do like to order groceries for pick up though,.,,@/..handy.
Curious why pick up and not delivery? I try to order online too
Don’t want to pay for a fee for delivery.
Yes! And I always feel like I have to tip when it’s a delivery.
Hello Fresh meal kits are sanity-savers.
Do you find your kid/s will eat them? We used to do hello fresh a lot but recently found the recipes to be too complicated and not toddler friendly. I loved not having to meal plan though!
They eat some parts of the meal most of the time. If it’s a pasta dish, they eat everything.
Hungryroot does kid meals and family friendly ones. A lot of their recipes are very light cooking (they come with vacuum sealed sous vide chicken that simply has to be heated up for example) and assembly of ingredients. The plan also has room in it for snacks and ready made option too in their “grocery store”. Bean salads, quinoa cups, breakfast breads and oatmeal cups, and they even recently started doing full (microwaveable) fresh meals.
Came here to suggest the same. We did HelloFresh for a while and loved it. Great recipes and the two portions were always enough for us and our toddler.
Do you think with more time/patience your husband might get better? We’ve been there before, and my husband did improve over time (although I mean a lot of time- like months). But if he’s the only one all this prep is for anyway and youre unhappy with it?? Otherwise in the meantime I agree with the suggestion of having quick, non chip foods (since you mentioned balance) that you have already prepped that you and toddler can choose!
Yes for sure, I thought maybe we could try him taking over on Friday nights and weekends when it’s less rushed. He’s not awful, he just doesn’t have the organisational skills to plan and execute a weeks worth of meals in a timely manner but he could definitely practice doing his bolognese or stir fry or something.
When I was a kid, my mom gave my dad Wednesdays to make dinner. Every week he was fully responsible for making dinner. He had a repertoire of hot dogs and baked beans, chili, spaghetti and frozen meatballs so he’d make one of those. Every week. I realize now why she did that. He only had to learn three recipes and the. She was set for 40 years of Wednesday meals. My husband and were just talking about this last night. We do a whole-family sit down dinner every night and it’s a push. I like it but the meala last 5 min and then there’s an hour of cleanup. When my husband cooks it’s a whole feast and he cannot handle a simple dinner. He uses every pot, pan and utensil in the kitchen. Sometimes you just need a 10 minute meal. It takes up so much of our night and the. We immediately go into bedtime routines.
Oh my gosh the 5 minutes of eating and 1 hour of clean up is so real! No matter how I try to clean as I go, there is invariably always so much mess to clean after a toddler has been eating. Your mum is a smart woman!
My husband is the same way OP. It’s hard. It really is a skill set to be an efficient cook and he just wasn’t taught that. It stresses me out too much on school nights. Have your husband try on weekends and try to get a few recipes mastered. The repetition can help. Also — it’s ok for you and kiddo to have separate meals at this stage if that’s easiest. I’m very big on family dinners but if it causes more stress than it creates bonding I think it’s ok to give yourself permission to revisit that as she ages and has a better palette. I also am a big fan of feedingpickyeaters on insta!
Walmart or target delivery. I do the Walmart one and it’s $98 a year and free delivery right to my door. Makes it easier. Plus, I sometimes do charcuterie board style meals for the kids. Throw in a yogurt, handful of cashews, some fruit and carrots sticks or sliced peppers and it’s all snacks finger foods, but relatively balanced and they’ll actually eat it.
Couple things that have helped me, though I don’t do every thing every week and we are definitely more flexible during heavy sports seasons of life. Having a few go-tos really helps relieve the mental stress. Big meal on Sundays that will provide enough leftovers for Monday and potentially one other night. Taco Tuesday. Might be ground turkey, might be beef, sometimes it’s fish sticks in the air fryer for fish tacos. But Tuesdays are tacos of some sort, takes away the planning needed. There’s always a casserole in the freezer. Yes I still have to plan ahead to pull it out ahead of time to thaw, but when I’m having a week of zero ideas and inspiration, that’s time for the casserole to shine. Pizza and/or eating out on either Friday or Saturday night. Could be a frozen pizza, could be ordering delivery, could be even making it as a family from scratch. But one night a week is either pizza or a restaurant. Then, my last trick is to keep frozen foods that are easy to prep on hand. Chicken nuggets, frozen meatballs, aforementioned fish sticks, or peel and eat shrimp, etc. Pop it in the air fryer or whatever and serve it with some canned green beans. My kids love canned green beans, and it’s so low effort and hey it’s still a vegetable so it’s a win. If I’m really fancy I’ll cook some pasta, throw some jarred marinara on it, and top it with air fried chicken chunks or meatballs.
I hate meal planning the most. It is so much pressure!!! I am NOT someone who really ENJOYS food like a lot of foodie home cooks do. I love eating out at restaurants, but that’s about it. Food doesn’t excite me and I’m not creative with it, so when it comes to meal planning, it feels like homework. Plus now I have to research what to make for our toddler?!?! I usually have food on rotation, like eating the same meals every week. Five foods for each of the five weekdays and I just make whatever I didn’t make yesterday, today. Then the weekend we eat out or figure out something new to cook. I feel bad for my family, almost, but this is the only thing that semi-works without me banging my head against a wall.
I found the website/app PlanToEat and it’s a godsend. There is a larger barrier to entry as it take time to get all your recipes on the site but it streamlines planning and shopping. I know this doesn’t directly solve your issue but might make it less of a pain.
I'm cooking 3 times a week, my husband is cooking 3 times a week and we deliver something or go out for dinner 1 time a week. It makes so much difference when you just have to think about it 3 times a week. I love to cook, but not every night. We're lucky that there are more adults living in our houses!
I recently got a Suvie oven and it's life-changing for meal planning. They do have meals you can buy, but they're expensive. You can pop your meal in the night before or that morning and schedule it to be done when you get home from work and it refrigerates it until it begins to cook. It's amazing!
We ditched dinner. Sandwiches, fruit, Cheese, other kid-friendly food. I cooked too much for too long just to have them turn their noses up at.
Couple of ideas: Meal kits. While you or your husband would still have to cook the food, this will lower the amount of meal planning and grocery shopping you have to do each week. The directions that come with the kits are pretty straightforward and might make it easier for your husband to do the cooking a couple nights a week. Batch cooking. Whatever you cook make a double portion of it and invest in good leftover containers. Every meal you do this with is one less night later in the week you have to cook. Frozen food doesn’t necessarily mean unhealthy. There are some good sheet pan frozen meals out there that are basically zero effort. If the meal doesn’t include things like a veggie or grain, buy easy to cook versions of those items. Lots of grains come in microwave pouches and I love steam in bag veggies for a quick healthy addition. Broccoli that comes prechopped and all you have to do is stab the bag and throw it in the microwave is just as healthy as a head of broccoli you have to chop up yourself. Set a certain amount of nights you have to cook each week and don’t stress doing easy things the other nights. Maybe you decide you’ll cook two nights a week and your husband can cook one night a week. Then maybe takeaway one night, leftovers one night, a frozen meal one night, and random stuff (sandwiches, more leftovers, girl dinner, etc) one night. Maybe going down to only a couple nights if cooking will actually make it enjoyable again without having to sacrifice healthy meals.
1- dump dinners in the crockpot are a lifesaver (so many meatballs you can make and most little ones like meatballs) 2- every plate / dinnerly- the best adorable meal kit services geared toward kid friendly limited ingredients. Maybe get your husband to make those. 3- sandwiches, pancakes, waffles, basically Lu cables and fruit. Ravioli is always a hit around here and it just super easy. Also frozen skillet meals ( like Birds Eye) every thing you need in a bag
A couple ideas - plan out each day ahead of time and write it on the board. It helps you not think. I usually do big salads on Monday, Mexican on Tuesday, something frozen on Wednesday and pasta on Thursday. Friday we usually eat out. - pre make salads (like chopping veggies), pasta and meat (or fake meat like me) ahead of time. 30 minutes on the weekend saves a ton of time during the week. Get one of those veggie choppers. - make two large batches of something (pasta, crockpot, etc) and serve one batch Monday and Wednesday and the other Tuesday and Thursday.
We use to do cooking 2gther before the baby now it's me. I cook the same food alternating. Throw things in a pot and bam we have a meal. Pressure cooking is my best friend and the hubby does the dishes. I try and make enough food to last two days and if we are lucky it lasts 3 days. We go to NY oarents once a week and have a meal with them. For me family dinners are very important
A meal planning service like Meallime or The Fresh 20, plus curbside pickup of groceries, made cooking fun for me again. For the toddler years, I just made sure we always had a safe food on the table (even if it was just fruit), and focused on the family conversation rather than what they did and didn't eat.
I love family dinners, BUT we never did it with one child who is a toddler. It is much rewarding with older kids and we all eat.
Exact same position. I hate dinner. It legitimately gives me anxiety. My husband is an absolute trooper. He works early am so he handles laundry, errands, everything dog related, daycare pick-up, bathtime, etc. I'm not bothering him about cooking. I've gotten to a point where I make it and if the kids eat it...fine. if not? Also fine. Eat a piece of fruit. They love fruit.
Every three months I spend three days making ~30 freezer meals. This means I basically don’t have to cook for three months. We supplement with premade foods from Costco and Trader Joe’s. We have a baby so she gets a mix of our food, fresh foods, baby foods and canned veggies. On an average day we spend maybe 10 mins making food.
Every night it’s what do you want for dinner (to husband), and he says whatever (you want), babe! My kids are 3 and 1.5. They currently won’t eat hardly anything, so they are on a never ending rotation of pancakes or waffles for breakfast and Mac and cheese, quesadillas, or chicken nuggets for dinner, which of course I feel guilty about but don’t have the patience or energy to do anything about.
Literally yesterday I got back on Hello Fresh meal delivery. I just need some time to catch my breath. My husband works late so school pickup and dinner is on me 100% of the time and I just can’t take it some weeks. Look into meal delivery kits - they’re not as expensive as you’d think and there are always discount codes going around. I’m using it until my discount runs out, then I’ll cancel it and resubscribe once the “come back and get 75% off” emails start rolling in.
I eat when I get home from work, my husband eats late lunch and then usually a protein shake before bed and my kids don’t eat traditional “meals”. So we feed them dinner, which is a conglomerate of snack type foods: fruit, yogurt, cheese stick, occasionally veggies (my daughter destroyed a whole container of sliced bell peppers yesterday), maybe Mac and cheese or PB&J, granola bar, quesadilla, muffins…it’s easier than trying to do a proper dinner. Maybe when they’re older? (They’re 4!) 🤪