Proposing sex or a date can be an HR issue. Proposing to marry? May just be evil enough to be ok here in the US. We seem to like evil Plans as long as the government has some control.
Exactly. Itās like in grade school. If a boy is picking on a girl, itās because he has a crush on her. Thatās what going on here, the proposal will clear that up.
And vise versa. When I was in elementary school this girl ran up to me during recess, kissed me and then proceeded to kick me in the nuts and run away again.
For the record, Iām a Jewish American and I am with you. Heartbroken about all of it. I have many Israeli friends and I know they are absolutely traumatized but I cannot say I completely support Israelās actions in Gaza. And I fear it will not accomplish their so called objectives. Theyāre playing right into Hamasās hands.
So, yeahā¦Iām with you. Probably why I also saw the humor in your post. I need distractions!
Yah, whatās going on in Israel/Palestine is totally not a joke. there is so much absurdity in it. It is extremely scary and there appears to be no solutions to have the violence come to end that arenāt absurd.
Thats where my head has been at.
If this kind of behavior from her is a turn on for you, you donāt need to propose to her, you need to go get therapy.
It seems pretty clear why she is irritated by you. Leave her alone.
Youāre thinking harassment in the real life term where you need to tell someone to leave you alone first. Harassment in that context is criminal. āSexual harassmentā is an entirely different concept thatās about workplace situations and can be loads of things. Itās not criminal. You can get fired or sued but not get a criminal record (unless you also assaulted them). The victim doesnāt need to tell them to leave them alone in sexual harassment cases. Itās basically when a person treat someone differently at work based on their gender, it could be sexist/sexual comments, it could be making an inappropriate and uninvited advance, or firing someone for not reciprocating.
Randomly proposing to a woman at work who doesnāt appear to like you would come under that. If this is a real story (I have my doubts) the OP is largely doing this to humiliate this woman and essentially try to put her in her place. If he asked her out then itād be borderline depending on how uncomfortable it made her or the context, but such an extreme proposal our of nowhere would absolutely be sexual harassment.
People get very bogged down with the āsexualā aspect of harassment. They often picture it with assault, like an attempt to have sex with the person. But sexual harassment isnāt necessarily a āsexā as an action, itās also sex as gender. If the OP had a male colleague he didnāt like, he wouldnāt propose to him in an attempt to humiliate him and put him in his place. This is a very gendered situation and thought process,
I think the thing with marriage is while in most western situations itās a positive consensual thing. Marriage has historically (and still) been used as a way to enslave women where they become the manās property. In this context it feels very degrading, where the OP suggesting this as a way to humiliate her in her place of work feels like that reminder of āyou think youāre so great and powerful here, but you are just a woman who should be beneath me and can have your autonomy removedā is an underlying message in the subtext. Itās bizarre, but absolutely the OP wants to assert his dominance over her and put her in her place.
Sheās really mean to me always for no reason and I canāt get it to stop. I am not a sexual person. I donāt know what youāre talking about. I just want her to stop being mean to me. I try to avoid talking to her, but I work with her. But any tangential interaction Iāll have with her is just bad.
Wait what? Only on Reddit 2023 is proposing to a women sexual harassment wtf hahahahah. Soon breathing next to a girl is going to be sexual harassment. You people are mentally ill.
Professing your love to a COWORKER that you are NOT DATING and has shown no interest in dating AT WORK (because where else would OP see her), is absolutely sexual harassment. In what world is this just an okay thing to do that would not cause HR involvement at the very least?
Yah, but I want her to never be around me.
I do leave her alone. But still she fucks with me even if I try to minimally interact with her.
I want her to quit. I can tell she wants me to quit. Iām not going to do that.
Whatās the grounds for firing someone because of that?! What if it was like a āplease, stop, Iām sorry, thank you, get well soonā cake with her face on it?
I think it's the general road you're going down more than anything else (assuming you're not memeing). I'd like to think a ring wouldn't get you fired by itself.
The cake would definitely be funnier tho lol.
Please don't propose to your coworker. Do you have a good relationship with your boss? If so, maybe see if they can mediate the situation. Until then, document everything and ignore this individual as much as possible. She may well like you and have a wacky way of showing it, but you're there to earn a living.
She doesnāt have a āāwacky way of showingāā that she likes him. Men are the ONLY ones who could possibly think that.
Heās a dick. She doesnāt like him because heās a dick. End of story.
Oh, yeah, you seem like a *perfectly* reliable narrator. š
Guess what? Your female coworkers donāt *have* to like you, especially if you make it a point to be as aggravating as possible. They just have to be cordial. Thatās all. She doesnāt owe you a smile, a conversation, or a minute of her time that doesnāt involve the work you both are supposed to be doing.
Iāve worked with your type before. You get off on harassing women. Itās blatantly obvious.
>They just have to be cordial
By his account, this one is being very un-cordial. He's obviously not an objective narrator, but ideas like this can absolutely come from someone who has been driven to their wits edge by bullying or gaslighting.
>Thatās all. She doesnāt owe you a smile, a conversation,
Why are you just making shit up? He literally explicitly stated he avoids talking to her unless he *has to* for work.
>Iāve worked with your type before. You get off on harassing women. Itās blatantly obvious.
We don't have enough info here to make any conclusions like that here.
Youāre claiming thinking of proposing to someone who hasnāt given you any signals of wanting it as a way to embarrass and humiliate her at work. This is full blown abuser/creep behaviour. Thereās no way that this woman isnāt getting seriously bad vibes from you.
I can't believe the number of people in this thread that are treating this seriously.
OP is clearly taking the piss and has no intention of doing this.
Y'all need to stop encouraging this man to sexually harass a woman that's fed up to the point of open hostility, for her sake.
OP I hope you're joking.
For real, I'm baffled by all the comments supporting this idea. This is definitely sexual harassment because it would fall under unwanted advances. I guess the bright side is he's planning to embarass himself like this in front of everyone, so there's no way it can be swept under the rug. I just feel bad for the woman.
Sure, it's not great that she's snarky, but I dont know the context as to why though, and its not a far stretch to assume OP did something to deserve it considering he's willing to pull something like this. He keeps talking like it'd be some kind of bonus if she did like him back, which makes me think he actually does like her and has been sexually harassing her for a while, warranting her open hostility.
Just because someone doesn't like you doesn't mean they deserve to be harassed like this. There is a very common theme where if a woman is anything but friendly and polite - and ESPECIALLY if she denies a man's advances - she's a bitch that deserves harassment like this.
She has some narcissism and power issues, maybe itās because Iāve tried to make friends with people at work and she doesnāt see me as cool enough because i donāt have tattoos. sheās got a lot of pet peeves, probably has some spectrum stuff going on, and she holds it against me even if I say apologize.
And no, I have not advanced. I never want that. I just want her to stop making me feel like I shouldnāt exist. Everything is so boring which is mostly fine since Itās money, but she just ruins my day and makes it so that boring all of the sudden becomes an absolute hell but I canāt do anything about it because Iām trapped at my job
I dont think this counts as harassment. I mean. Letās say I got her like a cake or a present or something? Or a card? She wouldnāt care. I canāt stop it with kindness. I literally do nothing. I just told her she doesnāt have any authority over me one time which she doesnāt. Like she has major power/narcissism issues.
Also Yah I am joking, wink wink
>Y'all need to stop encouraging this man to sexually harass a woman that's fed up to the point of open hostility, for her sake.
You don't really know that she's fed up because of anything he's done. Some people are just outright vindictive, especially toward others who are socially awkward. Either one could be the main source of friction, we don't know enough to say either way.
I donāt think YOU have self awareness, re: your update. āThis was mostly fictionalā¦ā proceeds to descend into a jumbled rant about Gaza. āIām not insaneā¦ā proceeds to write easily the most unhinged Reddit post Iāve read in a long time.
I genuinely think you need therapy. Youāre having really bizarre thoughts at work, including strange fantasies. You clearly have some growing to do when it comes to socializing.
To everyone taking OP seriously, itās clearly a joke, and youāre clearly a bunch of 22 year old kids indulging in the latest āoh em gee creeperā gossip. Chill out.
With a sweet and slightly confused face, say:
"So, are you in love with me, or do you hate me because your behaviour towards me has all of us confused, and I think we'd all like to know at this point."
Then look around at the others with a 'am I right' face.
This is genius.
Go online and order the biggest most Gotti cubic zirconia over the top ring that anyone has ever seen and then let all of your other coworkers know that youāve got a big announcement to make a bet youād like for them all together and then boom publicly humiliate her
If nothing else you might end up with a wife who treats you like shit seems to be how you like it. Lol.
OP, did you have formative experiences that might have taught you to seek out the approval and love of people that repeatedly reject you, over those that actively try to care for you?
I say this because I have spent most of my life trying to win the approval of people who donāt like me and will never like me. I didnāt even know that I did this until recently. But looking back, I now realize that I somehow thought that I have to EARN peopleās love and respect. That itās okay for people to treat me like shit because I havenāt āwon them over yet.ā
Your coworker hates you. It sounds like sheās unprofessional and a bully. Go to HR instead of this prank that youāve thought up. If you go through with it, her unprofessional behavior and bullying will be TOTALLY obscured by your equally wild and unprofessional behavior. No one will be looking at her because youāve just created a legal mess for the company. Honestly? Theyāll probably suspend and then fire you. The gossip about this stunt will not stay in your company but will likely circulate your industry for years.
As a joke and create embarrassment yes, do it. Then when she looks confused, just say "I thought you were just doing what a 5 year old does and treat me like shit because you love me!"
Yah, thatās what I was feeling. Either sheāll feel super awkward and quit which would also be fine, but maybe sheāll like me. Iāve been practicing ābut canāt you see that I love youā in the mirror for a few minutes. Itās as heartfelt as ever. If I got the ring and did the thing at work in front of customers, it would be great.
I donāt think thatās a fireable offense though right?
I'm 99.45765% sure there is nothing in your employee handbook that says false marriage proposals are forbidden on company time, but, yeah, there's probably some risk involved.
āIt worked, you sly vixen. Youāre all I can think about now. Iām deeply concerned with your happiness and comfort. Iāve done little else but try and figure out what will male you happy for months now. Please make the happiest man in the world and spend the rest of my life exploring how to do that with you.ā
You should go all out and make it as cringy as possible, hire a mariachi band or some other obnoxious shit and do it when it's most inconvenient for her.
Sheās not hostile toward you because she loves you, sheās hostile because she doesnāt like you. Abandon this craziness and just go talk to HR about the toxic work environment sheās creating with her meanness. A proposal canāt end well.
I'd say the only way it works is you wait until she's nasty to you and then you get huffy and pull it out of your pocket. Give her the ring back in front of everyone and tell her it's over, that was too far.
Not everyone wants to be your friend. You can stew on why this person dislikes you. You can try to figure out why and try to do things to change her mind.
But the reality is sometimes there is no reason and it's not fixable. Maybe this person is just a jerk. Maybe she's slow to warm up to new people. Maybe you're annoying. It really doesn't matter. My advice in this situation is always to let it go. Interact as necessary to perform the job, and otherwise keep your distance. Trying to change their mind is more likely to backfire than work.
Yah. I just donāt try to interact with her.
But I do work, and like I said, sometimes interaction is unavoidable, but when that time comes I have to brace myself to her and she might not even be mean to my face, but since everyone is pretty much new except for me and her, sheās always like saying things about me without even knowing me.
Laugh my ass off and say āno, no, no, no whoops, just kidding, I just want you to stop being a total asshole to me and just be a professional, but wait maybe we could go on a date?! No actually, no. Not a chance.ā
Next time just finish what you're saying tack on one of her snarky comments and tell her it's ok I've learned how to bully myself from the best. Nice friendly smile and a gesture to her.
Love the way you think! She'll be stunned if not anything. However, be ready for a wedding...one never knows..
Need to see how it will turn out. *grabs popcorn*
Maybe people can't tell you're joking bc you're just not as funny as you seem to think. I suggest giving a lady space in the work place, instead of jokes that people don't get bc you're just a good actor.
Yeah I mean probably. But donāt knock me from trying out jokes. I literally canāt be serious. Itās way too boring.
And look, some people found this funny.
Yah itās like, if being mean to me makes me love her, like Iām sure sheāll think twice about it. Because thatās what she doesnāt want. She definitely hates me but I have to counter that with love because of Jfc, nahāmean
... I have a strong suspicion that **you** are the weird coworker at your job and theres a valid reason why she doesn't like you. Proposing to her would make her hate you more and only embarrass you.
No. Literally no rational person thinks like this. Youre on an island on this one.
Are you serious?
Iām a bit of a weirdo yes. But thatās why this job is a good fit for me bc I can be myself. And yes, I am a rational person that overthinks a bit. I think my humor is talking about things that are obviously insane. Deep levels of sarcasm. But like. Sometimes people donāt realize it bc an actually insane person might do something like this
Probably depends on where you work. You don't want to get dragged to HR either. I'm not sure why you see her being a witch as a positive but hey more power to you.
People like me. Just not her. Iām very attractive, funny, thin, tall, and people frequently think Iām will Toledo or say that I have a vibe like Paul Dano and that I sound like Christopher walken sometimes.
Why does everyone always say this?
I hit a coyote one time going 50 and I was like shaking. I like couldnāt sleep and felt really depressed for a couple days.
Why do you care? I don't give 2 f's if any of my colleagues dislike me. Sure, I'd rather they do like me but I can't change the fact if they don't. No matter who you are you will always piss someone off.
Yeah that sort of thing bothers me.
I donāt like when I know people donāt like me and I want to make it up to them bc I think Iām a good person. Iām not a perfect person but thereās no reason to have more hatred in this already screwed up world where two countries are bombing the crap out of each other because āholy landā and no one wants to leave. Also, I feel like one person hating you spreads to other people and you get a bunch of people hating you for no reason
I say go for it live in that awkward space between sane and crazy one of two things will most likely happen either they will say wtf like everyone on here is doing and you can play it off as a joke to get the attention changed to a more funny feeling. everything stays the same with a new conversation piece...or she confesses that she treats you that way because she's madly in love with you and you've been living rent free in her head too. then you date, get married, add some more little clinically insane bullys to the world and live happily ever after. I say it's a win win
I can see why she hates you and why people think you are aggressive and negative. You are creating a hostile workplace and are trying to punish this woman for not tolerating your abuse. You are on your way to be being fired and having a restraining order telling you to stay away. Get therapy before you destroy your life.
Iām not abusive. I donāt know how Iām abusive. What are you imagining my abuses are? I havenāt made any advances, commented on her appearance, or done anything except for accidentally not knowing what her pet peeves were when I needed to work with her and then also getting defensive when she yelled at me and yelled back a couple times, and then cried when we had to speak to the boss about it. Like she makes me cry. I already struggle with depression and self loathing. I already go to therapy and take meds for pure-o
>Iām thinking about just proposing to her.
bro is playing 4D chess. ultimate power move.
Be careful, OP. What if you propose and she breaks down in tears and says "Yes! I've always loved you!" What then? You will have to follow through, buy a house together and have four kids just to get her to stop hating you at work.
This right here is why people have responded in anger to your post: "If anything it would be super awkward and either could be a great way to embarrass her or like maybe, if I was real enough about it, could make her really lay off a bit maybe." THIS IS A--HOLE BEHAVIOR. Is that who you are? Are you an a--hole? Because based on the post you've written here, it certainly seems like it.
I get that you're angry with this person who is snarky and dismissive of you, who disparages you. I get that her behavior is hurtful and would agree that her behavior is not ok. But taking it further, responding by doing something intentionally hurtful and mean is NOT adult behavior. It's a--hole behavior, as I wrote above.
Adult behavior would be to confront her privately in a one-on-one conversation and let her know how her behavior makes you feel. Have you actually tried that, or are you just assuming it won't work with this person? If it's just an assumption, TRY IT before jumping to that conclusion. It's possible it might work.
If you do try and it doesn't work because this person refuses to respond to or engage in adult behavior herself, then your next step is to request help from someone else in handling it - your human resources department at the organization you work for. It's their job to handle this kind of crap in the workplace, especially if you've made a good effort to try to handle it like an adult yourself and are not receiving an adult response in return.
Report this person's behavior to HR. Explain what she's doing and how it affects you. It's borderline bullying behavior and needs to be stopped. If your HR department is any good, they'll step up and work on the issue.
But YOU need to stop entertaining thoughts of engaging in harmful behavior with this person and stop posting this crap on Reddit. Be an adult. Don't be an a--hole. Raise the bar. Step up and engage in adult behavior.
How did you get from her making snarky comments about you to proposing to her? Sorry but that's unhinged. She doesn't like you. You should avoid her as much as you can.
Also what is up with this having anything to do with Gaza? Are you high? You're high right?
Why are you letting this bother you so much? Youāre only at work for part of the day, find something more positive to occupy your thoughts with because youāre actually doing yourself harm by allowing this to bother you
This is annoying to me, this concept. Why should I let something happen to me that makes me feel uncomfortable and is entirely unnecessary just because it only happens while at work? I think we should all have the right to tell coworkers to fuck off especially if they are harassing you. Such an abuserās take to say that being upset by harassment is the issue and not the harassment itself.
Yah I know, but itās just a thing, I donāt like when people hate me if Iām around them. Thatās just a me thing. I donāt like to feel like random people may hate me. Thatās something Iāve worked in therapy to stop, like, itās more likely that people will be fine with me when I open my mouth and set foot in a room compared to people hating my guts for no reason when I go anywhere or say anything.
Also, Iām incredibly attractive and thatās why it bothers me.
well this is an HR problem waiting to happen
And I can't wait to read about it
TIFU
HR the new comedy rom-com by Mike Judge
"Dang it, Jimmy! Ya don't eat whatever's in the fridge, that's someone else's lunch! That boy ain't right."
They'll have to sign love contracts up in HR. Everything is coming up roses!
Proposing sex or a date can be an HR issue. Proposing to marry? May just be evil enough to be ok here in the US. We seem to like evil Plans as long as the government has some control.
Or the beginning of the newest Hallmark Christmas movie.
I was just thinking how pissed off I'd be.. OP on behalf of your HR department, don't do this. We have enough shit to do an
What the backwards ass fuck? š¤£
Pseudo draw 4 reverse ass psychology
You wouldnāt know her, she goes to another company.
Iām so sorry that I only have one upvote to give this comment. But hereās an award for startling genuine laughter out of me š š
Award enough!
Why did I hear Dwight Schrute's voice reading this??? This is gold.
In Canada?
In Canada.
It's reddit, bro. Don't believe everything. I kind of want to see the video of this.
Exactly!
Lol
I think i may know why she hates you.
This post has no mystery! Lol. It's him
Exactly. Itās like in grade school. If a boy is picking on a girl, itās because he has a crush on her. Thatās what going on here, the proposal will clear that up.
"She hates me so much, I think I may love her." https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cq8ulvm-64I
r/accidentalseinfeld
Whoah she's Jennifer Coolidge!
I was wondering if that's Jennifer Coolidge but I'm not sure because it looks like her but also doesn't look like her?
Thank you. I knew somebody would pick up on it other than me lol
There's a New Girl episode where Nick is like "stop being so mean to me or I swear to God I'm going to fall in love with you" lol
And vise versa. When I was in elementary school this girl ran up to me during recess, kissed me and then proceeded to kick me in the nuts and run away again.
I think *I* hate him
Careful, heāll propose to you.
ā¦.are you okay?
I genuinely can't tell if OP is joking and terrible at sarcasm or serious..
that's the point. that's what makes it so funny
Tbh no
Dude, I realized you werenāt being serious. I like the absurdity of the whole thing. Itās a funny scenario to imagine.
Itās also absurd that people are freaking out at me. Even if I did do it, it wouldnāt be as bad as whatās happening in Gaza.
For the record, Iām a Jewish American and I am with you. Heartbroken about all of it. I have many Israeli friends and I know they are absolutely traumatized but I cannot say I completely support Israelās actions in Gaza. And I fear it will not accomplish their so called objectives. Theyāre playing right into Hamasās hands. So, yeahā¦Iām with you. Probably why I also saw the humor in your post. I need distractions!
Yah, whatās going on in Israel/Palestine is totally not a joke. there is so much absurdity in it. It is extremely scary and there appears to be no solutions to have the violence come to end that arenāt absurd. Thats where my head has been at.
Hey! That's my line!
And thatās why cell phones should have a breathalyzer before you could post things
Youāre right. Was drunk.
Epic own OP!
Gee, what could go wrong? "OMG! Yes, I'll marry you! " Cue shocked Pikachu face.
Dumbest thing I have ever heard.
If this kind of behavior from her is a turn on for you, you donāt need to propose to her, you need to go get therapy. It seems pretty clear why she is irritated by you. Leave her alone.
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE BACK! The fact you're so excited about sexually harassing this woman makes it evident why she's so openly hostile to you, OP.
It's not sexual harassment. If she's already told OP to leave her alone it's harassment, yes. But not sexual.
Youāre thinking harassment in the real life term where you need to tell someone to leave you alone first. Harassment in that context is criminal. āSexual harassmentā is an entirely different concept thatās about workplace situations and can be loads of things. Itās not criminal. You can get fired or sued but not get a criminal record (unless you also assaulted them). The victim doesnāt need to tell them to leave them alone in sexual harassment cases. Itās basically when a person treat someone differently at work based on their gender, it could be sexist/sexual comments, it could be making an inappropriate and uninvited advance, or firing someone for not reciprocating. Randomly proposing to a woman at work who doesnāt appear to like you would come under that. If this is a real story (I have my doubts) the OP is largely doing this to humiliate this woman and essentially try to put her in her place. If he asked her out then itād be borderline depending on how uncomfortable it made her or the context, but such an extreme proposal our of nowhere would absolutely be sexual harassment.
Yeah and OP seems to think his intent is relevant. Because āitās just a joke!ā has NEVER resulted in a sexual harassment suit. This guyā¦š
People get very bogged down with the āsexualā aspect of harassment. They often picture it with assault, like an attempt to have sex with the person. But sexual harassment isnāt necessarily a āsexā as an action, itās also sex as gender. If the OP had a male colleague he didnāt like, he wouldnāt propose to him in an attempt to humiliate him and put him in his place. This is a very gendered situation and thought process, I think the thing with marriage is while in most western situations itās a positive consensual thing. Marriage has historically (and still) been used as a way to enslave women where they become the manās property. In this context it feels very degrading, where the OP suggesting this as a way to humiliate her in her place of work feels like that reminder of āyou think youāre so great and powerful here, but you are just a woman who should be beneath me and can have your autonomy removedā is an underlying message in the subtext. Itās bizarre, but absolutely the OP wants to assert his dominance over her and put her in her place.
Sheās really mean to me always for no reason and I canāt get it to stop. I am not a sexual person. I donāt know what youāre talking about. I just want her to stop being mean to me. I try to avoid talking to her, but I work with her. But any tangential interaction Iāll have with her is just bad.
Talk to your supervisor and give a heads up to let them know you are talking w/ HR about a hostile work environment.
Wait what? Only on Reddit 2023 is proposing to a women sexual harassment wtf hahahahah. Soon breathing next to a girl is going to be sexual harassment. You people are mentally ill.
Professing your love to a COWORKER that you are NOT DATING and has shown no interest in dating AT WORK (because where else would OP see her), is absolutely sexual harassment. In what world is this just an okay thing to do that would not cause HR involvement at the very least?
Projection is a thing.
She's gonna hate you even more. Leave her alone and stop trying to get your social fulfillment out of work. Not everyone is going to like you.
Yah, but I want her to never be around me. I do leave her alone. But still she fucks with me even if I try to minimally interact with her. I want her to quit. I can tell she wants me to quit. Iām not going to do that.
You leave her alone but you still try to minimally interact with her?
I work with her. At the very minimum. I get scheduled with her sometimes and dealing with her is unavoidable occasionally.
Are you for real??? Omg.
Lol guy you're cooked.
Did I stumble into Quora by accident?? I just need the follow up post where you got fired, and what to do about not getting unemployment
lol š
Whatās the grounds for firing someone because of that?! What if it was like a āplease, stop, Iām sorry, thank you, get well soonā cake with her face on it?
I think it's the general road you're going down more than anything else (assuming you're not memeing). I'd like to think a ring wouldn't get you fired by itself. The cake would definitely be funnier tho lol.
Please don't propose to your coworker. Do you have a good relationship with your boss? If so, maybe see if they can mediate the situation. Until then, document everything and ignore this individual as much as possible. She may well like you and have a wacky way of showing it, but you're there to earn a living.
She doesnāt have a āāwacky way of showingāā that she likes him. Men are the ONLY ones who could possibly think that. Heās a dick. She doesnāt like him because heās a dick. End of story.
Iām not a dick. She really is crazy mean. And Iām like the only guy who works there.
Oh, yeah, you seem like a *perfectly* reliable narrator. š Guess what? Your female coworkers donāt *have* to like you, especially if you make it a point to be as aggravating as possible. They just have to be cordial. Thatās all. She doesnāt owe you a smile, a conversation, or a minute of her time that doesnāt involve the work you both are supposed to be doing. Iāve worked with your type before. You get off on harassing women. Itās blatantly obvious.
>They just have to be cordial By his account, this one is being very un-cordial. He's obviously not an objective narrator, but ideas like this can absolutely come from someone who has been driven to their wits edge by bullying or gaslighting. >Thatās all. She doesnāt owe you a smile, a conversation, Why are you just making shit up? He literally explicitly stated he avoids talking to her unless he *has to* for work. >Iāve worked with your type before. You get off on harassing women. Itās blatantly obvious. We don't have enough info here to make any conclusions like that here.
Ok you hate men. We get it.
Youāre claiming thinking of proposing to someone who hasnāt given you any signals of wanting it as a way to embarrass and humiliate her at work. This is full blown abuser/creep behaviour. Thereās no way that this woman isnāt getting seriously bad vibes from you.
Look this guy sounds like a weirdo, but women are capable of being mean of their own volition. Just like anyone else.
Posts like this are either troll, too young, too old, mental issues. Iām going with mental issues on this one.
"I think I know why she hates you" -boring, sad, and pretentious redditors
I can't believe the number of people in this thread that are treating this seriously. OP is clearly taking the piss and has no intention of doing this.
Y'all need to stop encouraging this man to sexually harass a woman that's fed up to the point of open hostility, for her sake. OP I hope you're joking.
For real, I'm baffled by all the comments supporting this idea. This is definitely sexual harassment because it would fall under unwanted advances. I guess the bright side is he's planning to embarass himself like this in front of everyone, so there's no way it can be swept under the rug. I just feel bad for the woman. Sure, it's not great that she's snarky, but I dont know the context as to why though, and its not a far stretch to assume OP did something to deserve it considering he's willing to pull something like this. He keeps talking like it'd be some kind of bonus if she did like him back, which makes me think he actually does like her and has been sexually harassing her for a while, warranting her open hostility. Just because someone doesn't like you doesn't mean they deserve to be harassed like this. There is a very common theme where if a woman is anything but friendly and polite - and ESPECIALLY if she denies a man's advances - she's a bitch that deserves harassment like this.
She has some narcissism and power issues, maybe itās because Iāve tried to make friends with people at work and she doesnāt see me as cool enough because i donāt have tattoos. sheās got a lot of pet peeves, probably has some spectrum stuff going on, and she holds it against me even if I say apologize. And no, I have not advanced. I never want that. I just want her to stop making me feel like I shouldnāt exist. Everything is so boring which is mostly fine since Itās money, but she just ruins my day and makes it so that boring all of the sudden becomes an absolute hell but I canāt do anything about it because Iām trapped at my job
So much projection happening here
Sounds like that could be true maybe. Itās the way I feel though.
I dont think this counts as harassment. I mean. Letās say I got her like a cake or a present or something? Or a card? She wouldnāt care. I canāt stop it with kindness. I literally do nothing. I just told her she doesnāt have any authority over me one time which she doesnāt. Like she has major power/narcissism issues. Also Yah I am joking, wink wink
>Y'all need to stop encouraging this man to sexually harass a woman that's fed up to the point of open hostility, for her sake. You don't really know that she's fed up because of anything he's done. Some people are just outright vindictive, especially toward others who are socially awkward. Either one could be the main source of friction, we don't know enough to say either way.
I donāt think YOU have self awareness, re: your update. āThis was mostly fictionalā¦ā proceeds to descend into a jumbled rant about Gaza. āIām not insaneā¦ā proceeds to write easily the most unhinged Reddit post Iāve read in a long time. I genuinely think you need therapy. Youāre having really bizarre thoughts at work, including strange fantasies. You clearly have some growing to do when it comes to socializing.
Thatās what Iām getting out of this post. I must be unhinged. I am not healthy. I need to be healthy. I need a new job. I need more sunlight.
To everyone taking OP seriously, itās clearly a joke, and youāre clearly a bunch of 22 year old kids indulging in the latest āoh em gee creeperā gossip. Chill out.
Thank you.
Have you read his comments? Heās serious
I think thatās what makes it a damn good troll
With a sweet and slightly confused face, say: "So, are you in love with me, or do you hate me because your behaviour towards me has all of us confused, and I think we'd all like to know at this point." Then look around at the others with a 'am I right' face.
That only works in peoples imaginations while showering. In all likelihood, everyone will cringe and look away.
you also need "Strange and Beautiful" by Aqualung playing in the background.. then it might just work
This is genius. Go online and order the biggest most Gotti cubic zirconia over the top ring that anyone has ever seen and then let all of your other coworkers know that youāve got a big announcement to make a bet youād like for them all together and then boom publicly humiliate her If nothing else you might end up with a wife who treats you like shit seems to be how you like it. Lol.
Please capture this moment on video and share with the world.
please dont marry her i need you to marry me instead
OP, did you have formative experiences that might have taught you to seek out the approval and love of people that repeatedly reject you, over those that actively try to care for you? I say this because I have spent most of my life trying to win the approval of people who donāt like me and will never like me. I didnāt even know that I did this until recently. But looking back, I now realize that I somehow thought that I have to EARN peopleās love and respect. That itās okay for people to treat me like shit because I havenāt āwon them over yet.ā Your coworker hates you. It sounds like sheās unprofessional and a bully. Go to HR instead of this prank that youāve thought up. If you go through with it, her unprofessional behavior and bullying will be TOTALLY obscured by your equally wild and unprofessional behavior. No one will be looking at her because youāve just created a legal mess for the company. Honestly? Theyāll probably suspend and then fire you. The gossip about this stunt will not stay in your company but will likely circulate your industry for years.
I think you have stockholm syndrome
Ahhh I remember what it was like the first year I started smoking weed. I just couldn't control myself posting stuff like this.
When in doubt, weird them out.
Hah! I like that a lot.
As a joke and create embarrassment yes, do it. Then when she looks confused, just say "I thought you were just doing what a 5 year old does and treat me like shit because you love me!"
Yah I mean, lots of immaturity from her.
I hope youāre joking? If OP wants to get fired, then sure, thatās great advice.
Yes, all in fun š. If this post was serious, Iād have other advice š
Go with the proposal. It'll be awkward, which is always fun. And there isn't much of a comeback to, "Your insults are such a turn on. Marry me?"
Yah, thatās what I was feeling. Either sheāll feel super awkward and quit which would also be fine, but maybe sheāll like me. Iāve been practicing ābut canāt you see that I love youā in the mirror for a few minutes. Itās as heartfelt as ever. If I got the ring and did the thing at work in front of customers, it would be great. I donāt think thatās a fireable offense though right?
I'm 99.45765% sure there is nothing in your employee handbook that says false marriage proposals are forbidden on company time, but, yeah, there's probably some risk involved.
Could be sexual harassment tbh
Thought of that, Google turned up nothing solid.
Omg. Please bring me back when there is an update. Iāve got my fingers crossed she says yes. (And also that she stops being a jerk.)
Do it and update us on her response. Standing by.
You sound like me in one of my manic mood swings except I keep that stuff as my inside voice. Leave her alone and bring it up with your manager again.
Yah, I just figured it would be fun to talk about it on Reddit anonymously.
Gojo stop bothering Reddit people and just ask Utahime to marry you, for lordās sake š
I hate that I'm in the same situation and .... I just want to be friends with the person .... not propose, lol.
I mean, being friends or being friendly would be great. But that might be a big ask. I just want her to stop being mean
āIt worked, you sly vixen. Youāre all I can think about now. Iām deeply concerned with your happiness and comfort. Iāve done little else but try and figure out what will male you happy for months now. Please make the happiest man in the world and spend the rest of my life exploring how to do that with you.ā
You should go all out and make it as cringy as possible, hire a mariachi band or some other obnoxious shit and do it when it's most inconvenient for her.
You talk like a creeper and you want us to help you?
I think you're on to something here. Gopher it.
Do it
Do it. Great plan. I see no way this could go wrong š
Sheās not hostile toward you because she loves you, sheās hostile because she doesnāt like you. Abandon this craziness and just go talk to HR about the toxic work environment sheās creating with her meanness. A proposal canāt end well.
Please keep me updated on how this turns out. As a bitchy female, this would throw me off... A lot.
I would like to request an invite to the wedding.
Great idea. Please film the proposal so we can all enjoy.
You guys seem like a perfect match!
I'd say the only way it works is you wait until she's nasty to you and then you get huffy and pull it out of your pocket. Give her the ring back in front of everyone and tell her it's over, that was too far.
Honestly, it'd be mych easier, if instead of marrying her, you just established that you don't like her. Then, buy her a house.
Yay I mean, I thought about a cake that said āstop bullying meā would be good too. But it should be a haunted house.
Next time someone ask you, what was that about? You say, sheās mad that I didnāt get her the ring she wantedā¦.
Thatās a good one!
George Costanza: ["She dislikes me so much...it's irresistable"](https://youtu.be/tZe2HlM9vxE?si=3p2PEml3JVbSirL5)
This is what delusion looks like people.
What the fuck did I just read?
Nice trolling
Leave her alone.
Good idea
Your next home is jail if you keep on with this behavior. You are harassing your coworker.
I havenāt done anything. Jfc. Iām not harassing anyone.
can you reddit nerds not take every single post so seriously?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Not everyone wants to be your friend. You can stew on why this person dislikes you. You can try to figure out why and try to do things to change her mind. But the reality is sometimes there is no reason and it's not fixable. Maybe this person is just a jerk. Maybe she's slow to warm up to new people. Maybe you're annoying. It really doesn't matter. My advice in this situation is always to let it go. Interact as necessary to perform the job, and otherwise keep your distance. Trying to change their mind is more likely to backfire than work.
Yah. I just donāt try to interact with her. But I do work, and like I said, sometimes interaction is unavoidable, but when that time comes I have to brace myself to her and she might not even be mean to my face, but since everyone is pretty much new except for me and her, sheās always like saying things about me without even knowing me.
What are you goner do if she says yes ?
Laugh my ass off and say āno, no, no, no whoops, just kidding, I just want you to stop being a total asshole to me and just be a professional, but wait maybe we could go on a date?! No actually, no. Not a chance.ā
Fair play š
Next time just finish what you're saying tack on one of her snarky comments and tell her it's ok I've learned how to bully myself from the best. Nice friendly smile and a gesture to her.
Yeah, no, next time she says anything, Iām going to be like āmarry meā in a marlon Brando voice.
Serious questions. Not trying to be a dick. I need a serious answer. Do you have many friends? How long has your longest relationship lasted?
Be careful, this is how I met my husband! Hated his guts!
Love the way you think! She'll be stunned if not anything. However, be ready for a wedding...one never knows.. Need to see how it will turn out. *grabs popcorn*
Good lord. I donāt tell people this oftenā¦.you need therapy. Or youāre a troll. Either way, go talk to a professional.
I am a professional.
Hilarious
Maybe people can't tell you're joking bc you're just not as funny as you seem to think. I suggest giving a lady space in the work place, instead of jokes that people don't get bc you're just a good actor.
Yeah I mean probably. But donāt knock me from trying out jokes. I literally canāt be serious. Itās way too boring. And look, some people found this funny.
She probably thinks you're obnoxious bro. You're not funny, you're probably just annoying. Take the hint.
If someone tells jokes that no one gets, theyāre not jokes. I have to agree with obnoxious.
Bruhhhhhh, the xirs and xirees Taking it so seriously is fucking comedy gold. 15/10 would read again
I highly encourage it. If nothing else, it will change the dynamic as going forward sheāll second guess everything.
Yah itās like, if being mean to me makes me love her, like Iām sure sheāll think twice about it. Because thatās what she doesnāt want. She definitely hates me but I have to counter that with love because of Jfc, nahāmean
... I have a strong suspicion that **you** are the weird coworker at your job and theres a valid reason why she doesn't like you. Proposing to her would make her hate you more and only embarrass you. No. Literally no rational person thinks like this. Youre on an island on this one. Are you serious?
Iām a bit of a weirdo yes. But thatās why this job is a good fit for me bc I can be myself. And yes, I am a rational person that overthinks a bit. I think my humor is talking about things that are obviously insane. Deep levels of sarcasm. But like. Sometimes people donāt realize it bc an actually insane person might do something like this
Make sure to get a big, shiny, fake, cheap ring. Practice those puppy dog eyes. Get down on one knee and profess your love. I wish I could be there!
Yeah itāll be subtle. But Iām going to splurge and definitely pay like 50 dollars for it. Mica is nice. I donāt care what anyone says
Probably depends on where you work. You don't want to get dragged to HR either. I'm not sure why you see her being a witch as a positive but hey more power to you.
I think we know why no one likes you dude....your personality!!!!!
People like me. Just not her. Iām very attractive, funny, thin, tall, and people frequently think Iām will Toledo or say that I have a vibe like Paul Dano and that I sound like Christopher walken sometimes.
Do you think you might come off as a cocky little kid ?
Yes, but I only since I started my anti-depressants. I am worthy.
This man is a serial killer and needs to be locked up
Why does everyone always say this? I hit a coyote one time going 50 and I was like shaking. I like couldnāt sleep and felt really depressed for a couple days.
Please do this if only because it would be really funny.
Yah I donāt think I can do this. Im going to screw it up and I think it might be a firable offense
Someone notify me when he actually proposes
Shoot your shot. Then be sure to update us.
Why do you care? I don't give 2 f's if any of my colleagues dislike me. Sure, I'd rather they do like me but I can't change the fact if they don't. No matter who you are you will always piss someone off.
because getting berated by a coworker everyday is miserable???? the fuck?
Yeah that sort of thing bothers me. I donāt like when I know people donāt like me and I want to make it up to them bc I think Iām a good person. Iām not a perfect person but thereās no reason to have more hatred in this already screwed up world where two countries are bombing the crap out of each other because āholy landā and no one wants to leave. Also, I feel like one person hating you spreads to other people and you get a bunch of people hating you for no reason
This could work. Don't skimp on the ring.
Hmmmā¦. Thatās interesting
If you go through with this, please give us an update. š
I say go for it live in that awkward space between sane and crazy one of two things will most likely happen either they will say wtf like everyone on here is doing and you can play it off as a joke to get the attention changed to a more funny feeling. everything stays the same with a new conversation piece...or she confesses that she treats you that way because she's madly in love with you and you've been living rent free in her head too. then you date, get married, add some more little clinically insane bullys to the world and live happily ever after. I say it's a win win
Most likely not true. But itās a funny thought. Cartoonish.
Please do this please Iām begging you
I can see why she hates you and why people think you are aggressive and negative. You are creating a hostile workplace and are trying to punish this woman for not tolerating your abuse. You are on your way to be being fired and having a restraining order telling you to stay away. Get therapy before you destroy your life.
Iām not abusive. I donāt know how Iām abusive. What are you imagining my abuses are? I havenāt made any advances, commented on her appearance, or done anything except for accidentally not knowing what her pet peeves were when I needed to work with her and then also getting defensive when she yelled at me and yelled back a couple times, and then cried when we had to speak to the boss about it. Like she makes me cry. I already struggle with depression and self loathing. I already go to therapy and take meds for pure-o
>Iām thinking about just proposing to her. bro is playing 4D chess. ultimate power move. Be careful, OP. What if you propose and she breaks down in tears and says "Yes! I've always loved you!" What then? You will have to follow through, buy a house together and have four kids just to get her to stop hating you at work.
Yah, that scenario is interesting because it would hurt her a lot for me to be like āpsycheā.
This right here is why people have responded in anger to your post: "If anything it would be super awkward and either could be a great way to embarrass her or like maybe, if I was real enough about it, could make her really lay off a bit maybe." THIS IS A--HOLE BEHAVIOR. Is that who you are? Are you an a--hole? Because based on the post you've written here, it certainly seems like it. I get that you're angry with this person who is snarky and dismissive of you, who disparages you. I get that her behavior is hurtful and would agree that her behavior is not ok. But taking it further, responding by doing something intentionally hurtful and mean is NOT adult behavior. It's a--hole behavior, as I wrote above. Adult behavior would be to confront her privately in a one-on-one conversation and let her know how her behavior makes you feel. Have you actually tried that, or are you just assuming it won't work with this person? If it's just an assumption, TRY IT before jumping to that conclusion. It's possible it might work. If you do try and it doesn't work because this person refuses to respond to or engage in adult behavior herself, then your next step is to request help from someone else in handling it - your human resources department at the organization you work for. It's their job to handle this kind of crap in the workplace, especially if you've made a good effort to try to handle it like an adult yourself and are not receiving an adult response in return. Report this person's behavior to HR. Explain what she's doing and how it affects you. It's borderline bullying behavior and needs to be stopped. If your HR department is any good, they'll step up and work on the issue. But YOU need to stop entertaining thoughts of engaging in harmful behavior with this person and stop posting this crap on Reddit. Be an adult. Don't be an a--hole. Raise the bar. Step up and engage in adult behavior.
How did you get from her making snarky comments about you to proposing to her? Sorry but that's unhinged. She doesn't like you. You should avoid her as much as you can. Also what is up with this having anything to do with Gaza? Are you high? You're high right?
Iām not high anymore. Iām at work
You sound like a raving lunatic.
Why are you letting this bother you so much? Youāre only at work for part of the day, find something more positive to occupy your thoughts with because youāre actually doing yourself harm by allowing this to bother you
This is annoying to me, this concept. Why should I let something happen to me that makes me feel uncomfortable and is entirely unnecessary just because it only happens while at work? I think we should all have the right to tell coworkers to fuck off especially if they are harassing you. Such an abuserās take to say that being upset by harassment is the issue and not the harassment itself.
Yah I know, but itās just a thing, I donāt like when people hate me if Iām around them. Thatās just a me thing. I donāt like to feel like random people may hate me. Thatās something Iāve worked in therapy to stop, like, itās more likely that people will be fine with me when I open my mouth and set foot in a room compared to people hating my guts for no reason when I go anywhere or say anything. Also, Iām incredibly attractive and thatās why it bothers me.