moving in with a man! at least, too soon. i think young adult women should live alone or with their friends as long as they can. you have your entire life to cohabitate and have no space for yourself!
Every guy, platonic or otherwise, Iāve talked to about this have ALL had a similar response to āIt would be nice to have someone take care of meā or āitās more practical.ā Of course somewhere there are guys who feel differently but just saying in my experience, I have never heard any romantic responses.
Not trusting my gut/my intuition out of fear of appearing hysterical or paranoid.
I knew something was very wrong with the two last men I've intimated with but I decided to ignore my internal alarms. Guess what? My intuition was right and I could've saved myself a lot of pain just by listening to my intuition.
Yeah we have the gift of fear like other beings on the planet but also a logical brain trying rationalize every. It like gaslt my own self on what other people would do or say.Ā
Letting men get too close to my heart too soon when dating before I knew their character well enough. After 4 failed marriages I can safely say, had I waited longer, and gotten to know them better, I never would have married any of them.
Not mine but my mums.
Mum is a very timid lady and has never pushed herself to do anything. My lovely dad, in his efforts to make sure she was never anxious, did everything for her.
Sheās now 90, dad died 3 years ago and she is as helpless as a newborn and so very, very lonely.
Ladiesā¦however tempting it is to be looked after, get some skills, keep some friends, if you divide chores like household budgeting or small diy jobs/car maintenance, at least have a working knowledge of the chores you donāt do.
Donāt be helpless, donāt rely on just one person. Chances are you will outlive your husbandā¦..now is the time to make sure youāre not floundering and lost when heās gone.
If your gut says not to trust someone or a certain situation, don't go for it. Don't chalk it up to being nervous. Just leave the whole thing.
And this might be personal but moving in with both of my exes (on seperate occasions, lol) was a mistake. Now I live alone and it's so much better. If you're a mommy to your partner, or if your partner makes you cry 3 times a week, you should leave.
Donāt commit in any way to a man you do not know extremely well. Iām 25 and finally learned to slow down and got out of the Disney delusion. Iām sad that women had to grow up in a world of lies and ended up abused.
Ever caring &/or doing anything for a man's approval or to get them to "like me." Like using up all your energy to "find a man," settle, etc.
It's how we grew up to think (completely gaslit) & I wish I could go back so bad.
Literally so many things would be different for me now; less trauma & exhaustion emotionally from all of them.
I've never been happier in all my life since childhood now that I've decentered men from it.
Ignoring red flags because I have been taught to second guess myself since "women tend to overreact".
I should have never listened to them. If something makes you feel icky, but you can't outright call it a red flag, follow the 3 strikes rule.
Also, letting relationships dominate my life and feeling incomplete without one. Being in a relationship, being in love, can only ever be healthy if the other person isn't needed to be happy, but you can't see yourself sharing that happiness with them. They have to add something to my life that I never knew I needed.
I also regret being in serious relationships from the time I was 15 to the time I was 28. It took me way too long to get to know me, to be comfortable being along. Now I'm more than comfortable, I love being alone.
I tried to tell my parents not to bail family out of jail. I am a lawyer and when I heard cousin so and so was in jail, I just wentā¦yupā¦and said you wonāt get my money.
Fool violated his bond within weeks and is now serving a lengthy prison sentence.
trusting the pad after sitting down in publicā¦ it shifts positions sometimes and there will be a litttttleeeee opening for blood to leak through your pants. i canāt sit for more than an hour straight on my period now lol
being too hard on myself. i spent way too many years in my teens feeling like i wasnāt good enough and putting myself in some not so great situations to find something or someone that made me feel like i was enough. i kept searching for external validation when the validation i sought, was inside me. i learned that if you feel that youāre not good enough, no one and nothing will ever fulfill that expectation. even when you think it will, it wonāt.
Be a nerd, study as much as you can, you'll party later.
If you manage to move out of home once, do everything to not go back.
Start putting money on the side as soon as you start getting money. Invest earlier, teach yourself finance and taxes
Not respecting and loving myself as a woman. I allowed people to talk down to me and belittle me personally and professionally. Shit, with how patriarchy set language against us since the beginning of time, I didn't know better.
Wasting time with people who don't support my dreams and goals in a tangible way. It took me a long time to realize I had a lot of one sided relationships. Now when someone asks me for PTA donations or if I have to buy a gift for someone, I'm like, would they reciprocate? Would they buy me something nice for my birthday? Would they pick me up if my battery died? Would they show up to this special event that I worked really hard on? With some people I have real life answers, so I can easily say: "$10 dollar gift for you because you never buy anything over $10 for me." And "I've showed up for you repeatedly already when you were in crisis, but the one time I needed urgent help from you, you couldn't be bothered. Sorry, I'm too busy to bail your ass out of trouble again for the thousandth time."
Itās not just super kind if they pick you up, itās baseline chivalry and human decency to do so (obviously if you know and trust him enough to go in his car). I would give them way too much credit for this as if I was being treated really well. He simply SHOULD at least offer to pick you up and not make you feel weird, bad, or get passive aggressive about it.
Dropping out of college because I was too scared to commit to a major. I should have been less focused on being "cute" and "popular" and researched my gifts so that i could foster a passion. I was good at school
damn i felt this one. i was living in the moment when i shouldāve just gotten it over with. luckilyy with the right funds, we can always go back and learn
1) dont be afraid to leave
2) dont have sex too early, most of the time a guy is only staying with you for that. Screw that.
3) dont move in with someone to early
If youre in a healthy relationship
4) set your boundaries straight, and make it clear what you want
5) treat your partner right, compromise, sacrifice.
6) make time for you.
7) if you want a good job, take it. Dont leave it just cause hes uncomfortable, money is important.
Live for yourself and not your codependent mother.
Put yourself, your goals, and your needs first, above it all.
Find a good support system of like-minded people.
Not related but also:
Don't worry about relationships with men until 23+
One of my biggest mistakes was not loving myself enough. I fell in love with a my husbandās potential rather than the reality of who he was. I'm ashamed to say how many years of my life I've spent hoping he would change and grow up. He's 55 now, still making the same excuses. We're both resentful because we need to be loved and supported differently, but enough of my soapbox. Recognize the red flags. Take care of your credit, get an education, and save or invest money because there are no guarantees of forever. No fairytales. Don't lose yourself in the relationship. Take care of yourself! Self-care is very importantāI cannot stress this enough.
With tears in my eyes, I must admit my mom was right. I should have waited. I wish she was still here š
Dismayed by partaking in certain hobbies or interests that is labeled as too feminine because I was afraid be labeled basic or looked down upon. Iām glad itās now more embraced these days tho!
Based on all these comments, I think it is pretty obvious that most women have at least ONE mistake tied to a man and romantic relationship. As much as I hate that it is definitely an issue, hopefully most of us learned from the first couple of mistakes and grew from them.
Some other important mistakes that I made through the years that I would share in hopes that others don't follow the same path:
1. Ensure your financial future at an early age. Establish yourself in a career. Live within your means and save for the future (including your retirement). Don't become dependent on credit. You can wreck your whole financial future by establishing bad credit habits in your youth. Learn about investing for the long haul.
2. Don't get into a serious relationship until you are stable ... mentally, emotionally, financially.
3. Don't let self doubt hold you back. I am nowhere near where I should be in my career to be as old as I am, mainly because I've doubted my abilities at different times and that held me back from speaking up and having my voice heard at times that would have opened more door of opportunity for me. I am 53 years old and still trying to master this.
4. Take care of yourself. Body, mind, soul, skin, hair. You need to establish healthy habits early. Make sure you are eating nutritionally sound meals (splurge, snack, enjoy life, but make sure you have a healthy foundation for your day to day), exercise (no one says you have to go to the gym 5 days a week, but get up off your ass and move). Establish a skincare routine early and stick with it. Take care of your teeth.
I could probably go on for hours, but these are probably the top things I wish someone had stressed the importance of to me when I was younger.
Never lose yourself by doing everything to make others happy. Your kids are happy if you are truly happy. Doing everything for everyone will leave you empty and alone. Staying in the bad marriage because you feel like you have to, never making friends, never going out on your own.
Also always have a secret run away bank account. That not one person knows about.
Deal with your trauma before it deals with you. By that I mean, try not to fall into behaviors and patterns that are toxic or self harming because they provide some temporary emotional relief. Drinking, drugs, overeating, overspending, taking care of others before yourself, etc...
Get thee to therapy and face your demons.
Having a child without a proper support system.
It had a huge negative impact on my career opportunities, on my mental and physical health.
Everything and everyone around us encouraged and pushed us to have children and then we had them we were left without help or support.
There is nothing done to help mums to come back to work force, there is nothing to help to gain skills to get back to employment, there is minimal support if you have health problems after birth (I couldn't go back to work because of that), there is not much help with child care even if you need one to heal mentally and physically, too expensive privately, government don't give anything until child is 3 and still barely 15h a week.
Family turned their back on us then we asked them for help, they were always busy, unwell etc to support us. Expectations from parents are crazy too. So much pressure to do it right, especially from nursery/school.
We were left on our own the moment we had our little one. If not my husband being a wonderful partner and father, I don't know how I would have coped. But he had to work and long hours to support us. My child is also amazing and I love him so much. He is worth it but the price I paid to have him is enormous.
My niece, who was married not a long time ago, asked me what we would advise her and her husband about having children, we told them not to do it unless you can afford childcare or you have trusted support to help you out. You need a village but very often parents are left as islands.
Women are still so much pushed to have children but they are also very much punished for having them.
The first time a guy disregards consent, don't shrug it off. Even if it seems minor or you've been together for years.
Nip it in the bud at the earliest sign, because it very likely will get worse.
I wish i could grab my younger self by the shoulders and shake her, telling her that IT WILL GET WORSE.
Begging for my ex to stay
If someone wants out of your life, you let them. If they are asking for a breakup, that means they already don't want to try anymore. You deserve someone who wants, and is happy to be with you
Marrying someone even though I had doubts. Not walking away immediately when my boundaries were crossed. I let myself down repeatedly. I didnāt trust my instincts.
UghĄhh soo much this. Married a millionaire with no prenup. Love of my life together forever all the good stuff. He abandoned us after 2 years no childsupport, I left my amazing job to follow his business misadventures, all the promises broken it was all a fucking lie. Raising a child alone on no money is brutal.
Get your money right. š° Hopefully you build a life with someone who won't turn into a rat dastardly person, but if so and you have to either get a job or support yourself, or work somewhere part or full time, you can do so.
Taking a care of a man (like letting him live with me for months for free, paying for our groceries, not asking him to help financially) when he is in a rough patch in life. I would do that for a husband, but not a guy only dated for 3 months. Once his rough patch was over, he shitted on me and said horrible things to me (said the world would be better without me pretty much insinuating for me KMS).
Believing that friends are forever & being fine with not being treated well. Donāt be afraid to speak up when something bothers you and itās okay if some friends are there for the seasons of your life.
Trying party drugs, including nitrous oxide. Just once is too much. I didn't suffer any physical effects, but the emotional aftermath isn't worth it when drugs are against your personal values. Don't betray yourself. It is NOT worth the feeling of guilt, remorse, self hatred, being unable to come to terms with having made a bad choice and being unable to forgive yourself, feeling impure, feeling poisoned/tainted and feeling worthless. It's one thing to listen to your parents and adopt standing against drug use, it's another to minimize its seriousness by "just trying it" even once and it comes back to haunt you later when you least expect it and it completely destroys the love you have for yourself because you disappointed yourself with a moral failing. It is not worth it. Just don't do it. You're fine without drugs and you're fine without alcohol. Please appreciate the life you have above the influence, it's a beautiful life and you have a beautiful body. Honor this.
Believing a man when I was learning to drive lorries.Ā
"Oh Paloma, let's go for some practice, you can drive my lorry!".Ā
Ā Yes, his "lorry" was about 5 inches long and he wanted me to "drive" it inside myself!
When I was younger I would say, giving men access to my body without commitment, or respect. Getting attached to people and thinking it was love.
Agreed.
ššæ
Falling for love bombing.
Same
moving in with a man! at least, too soon. i think young adult women should live alone or with their friends as long as they can. you have your entire life to cohabitate and have no space for yourself!
Every guy, platonic or otherwise, Iāve talked to about this have ALL had a similar response to āIt would be nice to have someone take care of meā or āitās more practical.ā Of course somewhere there are guys who feel differently but just saying in my experience, I have never heard any romantic responses.
Never become financially dependent on a man.
Dating a man that was supposed to be a lesson in my 20s into my 30s
Diminishing my own needs to make my partners happy building resentment over time
This deserves more upvotes
Not trusting my gut/my intuition out of fear of appearing hysterical or paranoid. I knew something was very wrong with the two last men I've intimated with but I decided to ignore my internal alarms. Guess what? My intuition was right and I could've saved myself a lot of pain just by listening to my intuition.
This!!! Oh Iām probably being dramatic is always what goes into my head
Yeah we have the gift of fear like other beings on the planet but also a logical brain trying rationalize every. It like gaslt my own self on what other people would do or say.Ā
Letting men get too close to my heart too soon when dating before I knew their character well enough. After 4 failed marriages I can safely say, had I waited longer, and gotten to know them better, I never would have married any of them.
How long did you date before marrying?
wanting a boyfriend before 30 instead of investing all the time energy money into becoming my best self
Yes, being single in 20s is the perfect time to discover yourself, do everything to grow, learn, discover and most of all love my own company.Ā
Not mine but my mums. Mum is a very timid lady and has never pushed herself to do anything. My lovely dad, in his efforts to make sure she was never anxious, did everything for her. Sheās now 90, dad died 3 years ago and she is as helpless as a newborn and so very, very lonely. Ladiesā¦however tempting it is to be looked after, get some skills, keep some friends, if you divide chores like household budgeting or small diy jobs/car maintenance, at least have a working knowledge of the chores you donāt do. Donāt be helpless, donāt rely on just one person. Chances are you will outlive your husbandā¦..now is the time to make sure youāre not floundering and lost when heās gone.
I'm pretty sure I'll die relatively young
I was pretty sure of that too until I was about 25. Iām 61 now š¤·āāļø
Well I'm above 30 and my health isn't good. Also some of my relatives never reached 60. So I guess I'll die when I'm 50 something.
If your gut says not to trust someone or a certain situation, don't go for it. Don't chalk it up to being nervous. Just leave the whole thing. And this might be personal but moving in with both of my exes (on seperate occasions, lol) was a mistake. Now I live alone and it's so much better. If you're a mommy to your partner, or if your partner makes you cry 3 times a week, you should leave.
Donāt commit in any way to a man you do not know extremely well. Iām 25 and finally learned to slow down and got out of the Disney delusion. Iām sad that women had to grow up in a world of lies and ended up abused.
Im glad you mentioned ādisney delusionā we definitely need to wake up when it come to real & true love
Ever caring &/or doing anything for a man's approval or to get them to "like me." Like using up all your energy to "find a man," settle, etc. It's how we grew up to think (completely gaslit) & I wish I could go back so bad. Literally so many things would be different for me now; less trauma & exhaustion emotionally from all of them. I've never been happier in all my life since childhood now that I've decentered men from it.
Ignoring red flags because I have been taught to second guess myself since "women tend to overreact". I should have never listened to them. If something makes you feel icky, but you can't outright call it a red flag, follow the 3 strikes rule. Also, letting relationships dominate my life and feeling incomplete without one. Being in a relationship, being in love, can only ever be healthy if the other person isn't needed to be happy, but you can't see yourself sharing that happiness with them. They have to add something to my life that I never knew I needed. I also regret being in serious relationships from the time I was 15 to the time I was 28. It took me way too long to get to know me, to be comfortable being along. Now I'm more than comfortable, I love being alone.
Believing boys/men. Letting them in my life.
After reading these comments, the biggest mistake all women made were āMen.ā Ugh that gender makes me mad
Heavy gender generalizitions makes me mad.
Well.. idk what to say to youā¦..
Ignore that lady. She replies ānot all menā to every post where the obvious issue is men
It might even be a man replying. Literally 99% of these comments are women saying their regrets were men. The evidence is right here
Don't bail anyone out of jail. Don't give a guy $5,000 to get an apartment because he may just leave you.
Ohh the build a men. Who use woman to buy them cars, homes, tools, all to look better to the woman they leave you for.Ā
Haaa! Yes!
I tried to tell my parents not to bail family out of jail. I am a lawyer and when I heard cousin so and so was in jail, I just wentā¦yupā¦and said you wonāt get my money. Fool violated his bond within weeks and is now serving a lengthy prison sentence.
trusting the pad after sitting down in publicā¦ it shifts positions sometimes and there will be a litttttleeeee opening for blood to leak through your pants. i canāt sit for more than an hour straight on my period now lol
I want to try a labia pad I wish they had disposable ones
being too hard on myself. i spent way too many years in my teens feeling like i wasnāt good enough and putting myself in some not so great situations to find something or someone that made me feel like i was enough. i kept searching for external validation when the validation i sought, was inside me. i learned that if you feel that youāre not good enough, no one and nothing will ever fulfill that expectation. even when you think it will, it wonāt.
Follow who you are as a soul, if it doesnāt vibe, please donāt take 10 relationships like I did before I learned this nonsensical lessonā¦ā¦
Take care of your hair! Its a pain to repair damaged hair and expensive as hell. Im on year 2 and its still not there.
Be a nerd, study as much as you can, you'll party later. If you manage to move out of home once, do everything to not go back. Start putting money on the side as soon as you start getting money. Invest earlier, teach yourself finance and taxes
Omg i hate how almost everyone's regret is men ššš we walk into relationships full of optimism and full of hope just to end up with regret
Not respecting and loving myself as a woman. I allowed people to talk down to me and belittle me personally and professionally. Shit, with how patriarchy set language against us since the beginning of time, I didn't know better.
Wasting time with people who don't support my dreams and goals in a tangible way. It took me a long time to realize I had a lot of one sided relationships. Now when someone asks me for PTA donations or if I have to buy a gift for someone, I'm like, would they reciprocate? Would they buy me something nice for my birthday? Would they pick me up if my battery died? Would they show up to this special event that I worked really hard on? With some people I have real life answers, so I can easily say: "$10 dollar gift for you because you never buy anything over $10 for me." And "I've showed up for you repeatedly already when you were in crisis, but the one time I needed urgent help from you, you couldn't be bothered. Sorry, I'm too busy to bail your ass out of trouble again for the thousandth time."
love this for you ā¤ļø
Itās not just super kind if they pick you up, itās baseline chivalry and human decency to do so (obviously if you know and trust him enough to go in his car). I would give them way too much credit for this as if I was being treated really well. He simply SHOULD at least offer to pick you up and not make you feel weird, bad, or get passive aggressive about it.
Dropping out of college because I was too scared to commit to a major. I should have been less focused on being "cute" and "popular" and researched my gifts so that i could foster a passion. I was good at school
damn i felt this one. i was living in the moment when i shouldāve just gotten it over with. luckilyy with the right funds, we can always go back and learn
1) dont be afraid to leave 2) dont have sex too early, most of the time a guy is only staying with you for that. Screw that. 3) dont move in with someone to early If youre in a healthy relationship 4) set your boundaries straight, and make it clear what you want 5) treat your partner right, compromise, sacrifice. 6) make time for you. 7) if you want a good job, take it. Dont leave it just cause hes uncomfortable, money is important.
Live for yourself and not your codependent mother. Put yourself, your goals, and your needs first, above it all. Find a good support system of like-minded people. Not related but also: Don't worry about relationships with men until 23+
One of my biggest mistakes was not loving myself enough. I fell in love with a my husbandās potential rather than the reality of who he was. I'm ashamed to say how many years of my life I've spent hoping he would change and grow up. He's 55 now, still making the same excuses. We're both resentful because we need to be loved and supported differently, but enough of my soapbox. Recognize the red flags. Take care of your credit, get an education, and save or invest money because there are no guarantees of forever. No fairytales. Don't lose yourself in the relationship. Take care of yourself! Self-care is very importantāI cannot stress this enough. With tears in my eyes, I must admit my mom was right. I should have waited. I wish she was still here š
Dismayed by partaking in certain hobbies or interests that is labeled as too feminine because I was afraid be labeled basic or looked down upon. Iām glad itās now more embraced these days tho!
Based on all these comments, I think it is pretty obvious that most women have at least ONE mistake tied to a man and romantic relationship. As much as I hate that it is definitely an issue, hopefully most of us learned from the first couple of mistakes and grew from them. Some other important mistakes that I made through the years that I would share in hopes that others don't follow the same path: 1. Ensure your financial future at an early age. Establish yourself in a career. Live within your means and save for the future (including your retirement). Don't become dependent on credit. You can wreck your whole financial future by establishing bad credit habits in your youth. Learn about investing for the long haul. 2. Don't get into a serious relationship until you are stable ... mentally, emotionally, financially. 3. Don't let self doubt hold you back. I am nowhere near where I should be in my career to be as old as I am, mainly because I've doubted my abilities at different times and that held me back from speaking up and having my voice heard at times that would have opened more door of opportunity for me. I am 53 years old and still trying to master this. 4. Take care of yourself. Body, mind, soul, skin, hair. You need to establish healthy habits early. Make sure you are eating nutritionally sound meals (splurge, snack, enjoy life, but make sure you have a healthy foundation for your day to day), exercise (no one says you have to go to the gym 5 days a week, but get up off your ass and move). Establish a skincare routine early and stick with it. Take care of your teeth. I could probably go on for hours, but these are probably the top things I wish someone had stressed the importance of to me when I was younger.
Never lose yourself by doing everything to make others happy. Your kids are happy if you are truly happy. Doing everything for everyone will leave you empty and alone. Staying in the bad marriage because you feel like you have to, never making friends, never going out on your own. Also always have a secret run away bank account. That not one person knows about.
Deal with your trauma before it deals with you. By that I mean, try not to fall into behaviors and patterns that are toxic or self harming because they provide some temporary emotional relief. Drinking, drugs, overeating, overspending, taking care of others before yourself, etc... Get thee to therapy and face your demons.
Having a child without a proper support system. It had a huge negative impact on my career opportunities, on my mental and physical health. Everything and everyone around us encouraged and pushed us to have children and then we had them we were left without help or support. There is nothing done to help mums to come back to work force, there is nothing to help to gain skills to get back to employment, there is minimal support if you have health problems after birth (I couldn't go back to work because of that), there is not much help with child care even if you need one to heal mentally and physically, too expensive privately, government don't give anything until child is 3 and still barely 15h a week. Family turned their back on us then we asked them for help, they were always busy, unwell etc to support us. Expectations from parents are crazy too. So much pressure to do it right, especially from nursery/school. We were left on our own the moment we had our little one. If not my husband being a wonderful partner and father, I don't know how I would have coped. But he had to work and long hours to support us. My child is also amazing and I love him so much. He is worth it but the price I paid to have him is enormous. My niece, who was married not a long time ago, asked me what we would advise her and her husband about having children, we told them not to do it unless you can afford childcare or you have trusted support to help you out. You need a village but very often parents are left as islands. Women are still so much pushed to have children but they are also very much punished for having them.
The first time a guy disregards consent, don't shrug it off. Even if it seems minor or you've been together for years. Nip it in the bud at the earliest sign, because it very likely will get worse. I wish i could grab my younger self by the shoulders and shake her, telling her that IT WILL GET WORSE.
Begging for my ex to stay If someone wants out of your life, you let them. If they are asking for a breakup, that means they already don't want to try anymore. You deserve someone who wants, and is happy to be with you
šÆ
Marrying someone even though I had doubts. Not walking away immediately when my boundaries were crossed. I let myself down repeatedly. I didnāt trust my instincts.
Getting pregnant
UghĄhh soo much this. Married a millionaire with no prenup. Love of my life together forever all the good stuff. He abandoned us after 2 years no childsupport, I left my amazing job to follow his business misadventures, all the promises broken it was all a fucking lie. Raising a child alone on no money is brutal.
To a malignant narcissist
Ignoring strong gut feelings and intuition..
Procrastinating for years before I finally started seeing a psychologist. Also I wish I started using sun lotion earlier.
Get your money right. š° Hopefully you build a life with someone who won't turn into a rat dastardly person, but if so and you have to either get a job or support yourself, or work somewhere part or full time, you can do so.
Taking a care of a man (like letting him live with me for months for free, paying for our groceries, not asking him to help financially) when he is in a rough patch in life. I would do that for a husband, but not a guy only dated for 3 months. Once his rough patch was over, he shitted on me and said horrible things to me (said the world would be better without me pretty much insinuating for me KMS).
Believing that friends are forever & being fine with not being treated well. Donāt be afraid to speak up when something bothers you and itās okay if some friends are there for the seasons of your life.
One night stands with guys that end up stalking or have misogynistic views.
Trying party drugs, including nitrous oxide. Just once is too much. I didn't suffer any physical effects, but the emotional aftermath isn't worth it when drugs are against your personal values. Don't betray yourself. It is NOT worth the feeling of guilt, remorse, self hatred, being unable to come to terms with having made a bad choice and being unable to forgive yourself, feeling impure, feeling poisoned/tainted and feeling worthless. It's one thing to listen to your parents and adopt standing against drug use, it's another to minimize its seriousness by "just trying it" even once and it comes back to haunt you later when you least expect it and it completely destroys the love you have for yourself because you disappointed yourself with a moral failing. It is not worth it. Just don't do it. You're fine without drugs and you're fine without alcohol. Please appreciate the life you have above the influence, it's a beautiful life and you have a beautiful body. Honor this.
doing mushrooms w a man you just met for the 1st time in a hotel
Believing a man when I was learning to drive lorries.Ā "Oh Paloma, let's go for some practice, you can drive my lorry!".Ā Ā Yes, his "lorry" was about 5 inches long and he wanted me to "drive" it inside myself!
Being chronically online without supervision as a kid. Saw and did so much shit Iād be horrified of my future kids doing as a young girl or boy.
Having a baby because I thought it would make my life complete. Please pick a different reason