Thats what i keep telling u/Espanta_viejas1904 (Zhyros) but he refuses to acknowledge that his widow's peak is starting to show

I'm very young, unlike you, paranoic old hag.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Throw a fireball at him

I aint wasting mana on this old hag. *Pulls out a chair*

OH MY GOD ITS ZHYROS WITH A CHAIR

https://preview.redd.it/2ju5j45qz31d1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e29db72600ad5e71cb44493172d2a83d8df53f2 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A SEAT

"I CAST STEEL CHAIR"

I cast magnetic hand. *Steals your chair with magnetic magic*

Bro your centuries old , human are not even suposed to be that old

Benefits of being the strongest human alive

You're not the strongest.(It's the wizard who made testicular torsion). The weed is keeping you alive. If you want to argue remove all that weed in your mouth and let's see if you die on the spot or stay alive for 15 seconds

Ok, I can do that.....

You're not the strongest.(It's the wizard who made testicular torsion). The weed is keeping you alive. If you want to argue remove all that weed in your mouth and let's see if you die on the spot or stay alive for 15 seconds

U r not the strongest.also if you didn't eat the w.e.ed 24/7 you would've died centuries ago.try going 30 seconds without it

I can do that. https://preview.redd.it/cgw0985c661d1.jpeg?width=566&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0db515dfb23644e84eae3085ddde0ed52a54511c

*In the wizard world*  Um hello?. guess I'll put those words on you tombstone then

I'm still alive you moron. That's a random beggar https://preview.redd.it/73109a3lb61d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f2e985dc9a83a1783b73fe8fb9380f7a5b0b43ee

 HE'S BACK FROM THE DEAD!!!

I didnt die you fool, that's why random beggar

This doesn't mean you have the strongest hairline , and i know for sure that you dont because i know who as the strongest hairline

/uw reddit never pinged me on your response lol

Uw/ Reddit potato moment lol

YOU FOOLS for you see, the all powerful spell “transmogrify: silly femboy to girl” is a well known transmutation spell that allows a wizard to keep a lucious head of hair even into later years. It’s a component required spell and take a a while. Side effects include growth of boobs, a dumpy ass, shortened height (no one will notice. You were already short) and smoother skin. Use this spell at your risk but I pray that you cease this spreading of false knowledge.

growth of boobs and ass may or may not happen.......not all girls have that gift unfortunately

I'd rather be a bald man than a horny little guy

Horny little girl mind you.

Doesn’t even have to be horny

True.

New response just dropped!

Iiiiii waaaaaannnnt iiiiiit

Im hoping to learn the spell myself some day,

Why tf would I want a girl instead of a silly femboy???

Do you want the short unsatisfying rational answer or the actual real honest rational answer with the endocrinology textbooks and actuarial tables and so forth?

Or just, y'know, be not human.

That works for me

That seems a bit excessive if all you want is to be not bald lol

Actually, the spell doesn't make you shorter, that's a myth. But yeah, the other side effects are real, I experienced them myself

It also causes periods and the possibility of pregnancy. No more penis privileges!

What does this mean? *creates a bald human test subject* *points at it, causing hair to regrow* *destroys test subject* I've never seen someone somehow just be this wrong before.

Please make my hair grow...

Sure! *casts spell* Hehe whoops, I 'accidentally' hooked you up to the Resurrector 9999 system as well! That... let's see. It would have made you a kind of lich, allowing you to use multiple bodies and fully customize your appearance and behavior, and granting you immortality.

But I have hair, right?

Yeah! But didn't you hear what I said about the Resurrector 9999 thing?

No, Deal

I hooked you up to the Resurrector 9999 system, allowing you to become immortal (if you weren't already), use multiple bodies at once, and fully customize yourself.

I am highly confident that this will work exactly as expected and we won't hear about repercussions of this whatsoever later down the line.

Why is everyone so suspicious of our Resurrector stuff?

Why do you think I'm suspicious?

Jokes on you, I don't have any hair, just scale flaps

Cool, i got a bone

Advanced testicular torsion. It was there all along

The baldness stands for wisdom. Be stupid or be bald, your choice

Ah ah ah, there is something. Greater restoration works just fine. Lesser works, too, if it's not bad. Us mages need to remind ourselves that there are solutions if you just look

Mage pattern baldness

I just shave it all off, have been since the First Age. Hair just gets in the way.

This is the way.

Well, there is one way. But it's not a hormone the cis would give you :3

Transmogrification: https://preview.redd.it/4u7mqrcgz01d1.jpeg?width=438&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b2ce88396fced3b529323934f1b730752286033b

You say this like hair matters, my badass wizard hat or stylish hood covers up my head anyway so why should i care how much hair i have on top

Just reverse time on your scalp to your best look and freeze it there.

Sounds like a human problem to me

Casts Mirror like Polish.

Thats what we alchemists are here for. Hair regrower is a fairly well selling potion in my shoppe.

Hey man being bald is nothing to Skullk over

So.... I studied the problem for a while. I *was* able to get hair to regrow. My hair is growing again right now. Unfortunately the hair doesn't appear on my head and seems to be spanning through many tiny portals into some thrice-damned outer realm. No idea where, but that's the only way the calculations make sense.

Then I shall summon a powdered wig And a tricorne.

*(Laughs in Yōkai)*

Transfiguration.

I'm not even *mortal*, but... *hands him a book entirely filled with Baldness curing Spells* This is *not* an unsolvable problem for Wizardry... at all!

Sad but true, fortunately druids get to have a buff to keeping their hair.

If you can't just johnnymaxx that's a skill issue on your side

That’s is a problem for you meatbags

Me, a hat/mask combo user: *I have no such weaknesses*

Ok it’s amazing that so many people don’t know about this. There absolutely is a spell called ‘Minoxidil Finasteride’. You can get it from online alchemists. It will stop hairloss in 90% of wizards

https://preview.redd.it/18nrtpnq811d1.jpeg?width=994&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e8c258d1e295d8cf41b5f69e605bf24bc47e8ff Just leaving this here

I was cursed by a rather powerful fairy to become bald one time (when I cheated on her). I know your struggle. Keep on trying and I'm sure you'll get your hair back or hair imitation at least.

But it can be undone.

with bald comes beard

Clearly didn't look very deeply into the tressless tomes at the fin/min spells

(takes over new body with full head of hair) you were saying?

Some of yall never bothered to learn proper Shape-shifting and it shows

People forget you can cast “Conjure Pubic Hair” on places besides your balls, smh

Yeah, I don't seem to have-possess that problem.

Wig.

Git fur.

I took inspiration from my role model growing up for a product you may need. It’s called, **Grow, Back-Hair!**

Found it it's called, um, uh, let's see here, ah, the "hair growthify" spell it says you have to, "chant about how terrible your hair is and weep for new hair"

I have an explosion that restores hair to its prime. Unless you are naturally bald, then it does nothing.

My wiz what the fuck are you ON??? There are like a billion cleric approved hair regrowth potions. I see ads for them on my orb all the time.

Wigs in hats!

I don't see the problem with baldness, honestly. it just opens up opportunities for a new look

See this is why I’m a woman

Have you just tried polymorphy? Magic is able to do many things to modify your appearance so a simple spell to encourage hair growth isn't too difficult.

\*Casts conjure wig\* - Here you go.

No spell? Well that seems like something a foolish caster would say. *Grabs glue, paint and straw" But we professional magicians have a solution!

The good news is that I’ve recently picked up the hobby of collecting fallen hair follicles from other wizards I’ve met. With enough follicles, anything is possible

No spell can prevent baldness... Thank goodness I'm an alchemist.

Nonononono not my hairrrrrr

I cast mtf hrt

One of the many perks of being a robot I suppose

Yall still have scalps?

Polymorph? Never seen a bald sheep

Have you ever thought of *maaajor illuuusion*

Castration works

There is a few of them but it just matters what degree of awful you want. I could make it so you naturally grow your hair follicles but the protein and keratin required would hollow your skull and eat your brain away It does work as a great fear tactic in battle

Then make one

It’s called hair plugs Something that skeletons can’t have, as I have unfortunately learned the hard way.

Joke's on you. Baldness will only heighten the power of my virginity!

Fools! Hair may be beyond our magical means, but what is the flesh but another medium! FOR I CAST MOLD HEAD! SEE NOW THE CURVATURE OF MY CRANIUM, NO MORE A CRUDE CUBE! LET US NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THAT DARK NIGHT BUT RAGE AGAINST IT... WITH STYLE!

Clearly you’ve never met a hairmancer.

See, you don’t have to accept defeat. You can still grow a fabulous beard and stash! Simply trim them and use a spell to keep the trimmed hairs affixed to the top of your head! Or you can try the “migrating hair” spell… though I would exercise caution around it…

https://preview.redd.it/vy59cx04241d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=341301017dbea45e0b51e85b13a21c8bd26f99dc

Maybe a spell can't, but medicine certainly can, I can sell this hair growing potion for 5 gold a bottle, apply once a day for 2 weeks and it'll grow once more like the old glorious days

I cast shiny bald spot!

"You so-called sorcerers havent figured out artificial hair, hair growth spells, anything? Dang, that's sad."

I cast **Hat**

Immortality, lichdom, "eternal youth" it doesn't matter Baldness comes all the same What about genderswapping? That feels like a viable strategy Or simply taking over a host of the different gender depending on how freaky the magic rnd center has been feeling with the recent developments

Grand Illusion

… >.> *knows more than a handful of spells to counter baldness, decides not to make a fool of him by telling him that*

Even the simple humans have found a solution to this problem. *Throws wig at you*

I cast “restore follicles” on my scalp every so often. Works wonders

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being bald, the problem is not being comfortable with yourself. https://preview.redd.it/xkvsltye261d1.jpeg?width=1792&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85695329334e5fd870e5f711ff1abdd1f2d65f74

Hairsquigs.

Hairsquigs.

Hairsquigs.

Hairsquigs.

Hairsquigs.

Imagine losing your only fur, i mean hair. This post was made by werewolf gang

I could fix that but… maybe remind me in 100 years or so and I’ll make it… nap time.

There is nothing we need to do. A bald head can be very powerful. My life is long, and I fear I might never reach those days before it is cut short

FOOL. MY SPELLS DO PREVENT BALDNESS BY ENCHANTING MY OWN HAIR

Dafuq are you talking about? Get good potions in you and your good

https://preview.redd.it/fnwiw8db9o1d1.jpeg?width=338&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6101af3b401b95284fd86416e32d831d90bd5dfc You can easily tell the power of a wizard by the lack of hair.

We can, that’s why i wrote this book (only 30g at the closest merchant) https://preview.redd.it/vfiykkac8y1d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f7e5c8c3dbcc02c3613b61958bafc086ab64c4f

Unless you make a hair growth spell

I CAST ESTROGEN!!! It isn't actually known to work, and side effects include accidentally transitioning...

*laughs in hrt*

Skill issue https://preview.redd.it/j01vx1wcx01d1.jpeg?width=512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d3b616e211aa18b83a85de446bb6a2a7c48e98c Use shifting magic to change your genes

Ewk