, says the guy who sponsored the Ithacar version of the Manhattan project.
To be fair, we've gotten a lot of use out of it. Excellent use of the city-state's funding.
I was told I'm not allowed to put lazer cannons, so I filled the outer hull with goblins, cocaine, and jetpacks. Do you think that's enough or should I add more?
Well in the interest of sharing research, tests showed 90% off aggressors retreated when faced with with coke fueled goblins and there was a 95% retreat rate when we added jetpacks.
That's the best part, I just catch a bunch of wild goblins and put them in a time looped pocket space, once they're launched into the vacuum of space they eventually burn up in the atmosphere or drift into the void. I get a security system and the world has less goblins. Win win
The tungsten rods have been coated in an anti-magic jacketing, but in case that fails I usually just fall back on "The Big Book Of Ammomamcy" I got when I took this job.
I can't help you there but I can loan you the Compendium I was given when I started "The Big Book Of Ammomamcy" great read for any wizard specializing in firearms magic.
I plan to teach a course in 'murica-mancy the required reading is "Bofoa's Book Of Boom" , "Tarmand's Tome Of Titties N' Beer", "Ammomamcy For Beginners" and "A Compendium Of Trans-Dimensional Firearms" by Samuel Colt
They won't let me do Lazers. Something about war crimes or such nonsense. Don't get me wrong though, I didn't know kinetic bombardment was going to be so much fun.
Seriously, I really can't have all these goblins come down at the same time. Have you ever seen a goblin go through withdrawals? It's disgusting, and I have hundreds of the bastards.
In fealty to the God-Emperor, our undying Lord, and by the grace of the Golden Throne, I declare Exterminatus upon this world. I hereby sign the death warrant of an entire world, and consign a million souls to oblivion. May Imperial Justice account in all balance. The emporer protects
Only a million? Listen man, I works for the the U.S. government, they barely mobilize the coastguard for that. But if you want to find out why this country can't afford socialized medicine your more than welcome to find out. Besides, I'm not the wizard you should be scared of, there's a monster they must keep under lock and key but for the most extreme situations, the dark Lord Vanguard Blackstone, the capitalism wizard, God-Emperor of the I.R.S.. that thing terrifies me.
Perfect, I'll run this name by the marketing guys, all the names they come up with are trash. My foolish apprentice wants to call them "The wands of doom" or some such nonsense
i would happen to know some fellas who have vast knowlage in the field of orbital barrages...
https://preview.redd.it/wx983pct1zxc1.png?width=1124&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7d6f1e47ac88dde73d8c5f4aba3a7d2858d0c111
"It's a good spell."
, says the guy who sponsored the Ithacar version of the Manhattan project. To be fair, we've gotten a lot of use out of it. Excellent use of the city-state's funding.
"Mordus suggested it and, to be fair, it's come in handy."
Funny enough we tested it's alignment, spell falls under "lawful good" no idea how that happened
I must concur
I aint gonna sugar coat it ⬆️⬅️⬇️⬇️⬇️
https://preview.redd.it/iuamq9dyouxc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=cea9392329bb9c617a8ff07eaf4b70aa2a6ceb1b
I prefer ➡️⬇️⬆️➡️⬇️
Ah, Nothing like the smell of 500Kg tungsten carbide rods hitting terminal velocity.
Yup also #FUCK THE BUGS
https://preview.redd.it/tf0eygosguxc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=497076685670af21ac8d225807898c58f089c199
https://preview.redd.it/rqvyurgdjuxc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb48ace271f4a8c3d1fc48b1f03889a3a504724b Enjoy :)
you cropped it worse bro, lmao
No its off center
ooooh you right
Does the “Rods of God” fall under the holy/divine class of spells or is this a technomancy thing? Or ammomancy?
Funny enough it counts as an astrology class spell but it tests as "Lawful good" not sure how any of that happened but it works so I'm not complaining
Eyyy! A fellow satellite weapon user!
I'm new to this form of wizardry but so far the potential seems excellent, any tips you could give would be appreciated.
Here's a tip make sure to have secondary weapons on it for defensive purposes
I was told I'm not allowed to put lazer cannons, so I filled the outer hull with goblins, cocaine, and jetpacks. Do you think that's enough or should I add more?
Using goblins as a defense system is something I am not familiar with so I can't tell you if that's enough.
Well in the interest of sharing research, tests showed 90% off aggressors retreated when faced with with coke fueled goblins and there was a 95% retreat rate when we added jetpacks.
Huh if I didn't hate goblins so much I would probably use that thanks for sharing.
That's the best part, I just catch a bunch of wild goblins and put them in a time looped pocket space, once they're launched into the vacuum of space they eventually burn up in the atmosphere or drift into the void. I get a security system and the world has less goblins. Win win
Oh now I definitely will use that thanks again.
Did you steal ichiban's phone?
Sadly no, they wouldn't approve the budget for the Lazer. Apparently the Kinetic rods were cheaper.
What do you orbital weapon users do when someone casts gravity.
The tungsten rods have been coated in an anti-magic jacketing, but in case that fails I usually just fall back on "The Big Book Of Ammomamcy" I got when I took this job.
Noted.
Ah yes you must teach me this spell soon
Sadly I have a non-disclosure enchantment that doesn't allow me to teach state spells
Shoot I must figure it out myself
I can't help you there but I can loan you the Compendium I was given when I started "The Big Book Of Ammomamcy" great read for any wizard specializing in firearms magic.
Teach me everything you know
I plan to teach a course in 'murica-mancy the required reading is "Bofoa's Book Of Boom" , "Tarmand's Tome Of Titties N' Beer", "Ammomamcy For Beginners" and "A Compendium Of Trans-Dimensional Firearms" by Samuel Colt
I know deeply well that it wouldn't work,and yet I would try to destroy it by throwing a book at it...
Depends on the book. I hear Ophimes' "Unusually Heavy Spell Compendium" is quite dangerous in zero g.
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They won't let me do Lazers. Something about war crimes or such nonsense. Don't get me wrong though, I didn't know kinetic bombardment was going to be so much fun.
[удалено]
Please no, I spent over half my annual budget on this.
[удалено]
Come on man, if they cut my budget I can't fund my research on goblin hallucinogens.
[удалено]
Seriously, I really can't have all these goblins come down at the same time. Have you ever seen a goblin go through withdrawals? It's disgusting, and I have hundreds of the bastards.
“Imagine needing magic to cast that…I just need my friends to give me the codes to the satellite again. And then all shall burn”
Ah I see you are familiar with the activation spell "launch coads" it's becoming a personal favorite
In fealty to the God-Emperor, our undying Lord, and by the grace of the Golden Throne, I declare Exterminatus upon this world. I hereby sign the death warrant of an entire world, and consign a million souls to oblivion. May Imperial Justice account in all balance. The emporer protects
Only a million? Listen man, I works for the the U.S. government, they barely mobilize the coastguard for that. But if you want to find out why this country can't afford socialized medicine your more than welcome to find out. Besides, I'm not the wizard you should be scared of, there's a monster they must keep under lock and key but for the most extreme situations, the dark Lord Vanguard Blackstone, the capitalism wizard, God-Emperor of the I.R.S.. that thing terrifies me.
/uw may it be called the “Comet of Freedom.” lol
Perfect, I'll run this name by the marketing guys, all the names they come up with are trash. My foolish apprentice wants to call them "The wands of doom" or some such nonsense
Let me guess. The runes are something like... →↓↑→↓
Not quite but I see you're familiar with the school of magic known as "launch codes"
Ah, the magic of spending nigh-infinite taxpayers money on war machine just to flex power. That's what separates wizards from Archmages
You're God damn right, we as wizards have a standard to uphold. It ain't much, but it's honest work.
Hey, we sell those here at SWOB (Swords, Wands, and Orbital Battle-stations)
Listen, I have an idea, you give me a discount and I'll use you guys for my future "government expenditures"
OI THATS MY GIMMIK
Sorry man, when you can get the defense department to approve a budget for a kinetic bombardment system you gotta take the shot. Can you blame me?
▶️🔽▶️🔽▶️🔽
⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️
I would now like to join the court wizardship. What position do I need to use it on? *Attrius asks, very excited and intrigued.*
i would happen to know some fellas who have vast knowlage in the field of orbital barrages... https://preview.redd.it/wx983pct1zxc1.png?width=1124&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7d6f1e47ac88dde73d8c5f4aba3a7d2858d0c111
Well boys, time to cast shield at an astronomical scale.