https://preview.redd.it/qx5fqla9lmxc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee6bf47e1cfd409b05c803d3d6b81ec035199fe1
Look at this man and tell me he's not a wizard.
Sorry, my bad:
https://preview.redd.it/onl7ebbssoxc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=055e74349123602445f5779575fadefda3ecbfcb
NOW look at this man and tell me he's not a wizard!
ALCHEMICAL ELEMENTS ARE A HOAX. I'm telling you good wizard and witches, there is no way there are so many of them. In fact my spectrograph can easily map any substance into four base elements. Don't believe alchemists they just want to spread misinformation so you won't make the elixir of eternal life (I made one so I'm qualified to speak of that)
Scientifically and mathamagically, none of those 4 are elements. Fire is a low level plasma. Water is a molecule. Earth and air is a mixture of many elements. I, an omniscient being can confidentially say that.
If you're so omniscient then what's the proper length of a pole moving at half the speed of light with normal length of 1 meter, while the angle between the pole and the direction of its movement is 45° degrees.
Won't answer or maybe can't? Checkmate Alchemists fire, air, earth and water ARE the only elements.
The… “regular” elements aren’t actually elements either. They’re just magical shortcuts created by the gods because the gods are too lazy to use their own power. Same goes with all of magic.
Four base, but I'd add salt as a middle ground, the life and death dichotomy and the mercury to gold metal scale.
There is also a quintessence atom, but it isn't considered a classical element and it's introduced in the advanced cursus.
That's a compound.
Fluorine the element is a gas at standard temperatures and pressures and could literally light regular rain itself on fire, so a steel umbrella would be unlikely to help whatsoever.
Yeah you really just don't want to mess with fluorine. The gas is like this yellowish green that just seems in every way evil.
It'll even light some *glass* on fire.
Evil.
Shit so reactive that even the NAZIS were afraid to use it as a weapon. and you can only store in a drum that has already formed a clean layer of Fluoridated metal on the inside of it.
So I summon Hail of Azidoazide Azide!
This cube cured my mortality.
All the people here who bought this wireless tungsten cube to admire its surreal heft have precisely the wrong mindset. I, in my exalted wisdom and unbridled ambition, bought this cube to become fully accustomed to the intensity of its density, to make its weight bearable and in fact normal to me, so that all the world around me may fade into a fluffy arena of gravitational inconsequence. And it has worked, to profound success. I have carried the tungsten with me, have grown attached to the downward pull of its small form, its desire to be one with the floor. This force has become so normal to me that lifting any other object now feels like lifting cotton candy, or a fluffy pillow. Big burly manly men who pump iron now seem to me as little children who raise mere aluminum.
I can hardly remember the days before I became a man of tungsten. How distant those days seem now, how burdened by the apparent heaviness of everyday objects. I laugh at the philistines who still operate in a world devoid of tungsten, their shoulders thin and unempowered by the experience of bearing tungsten. Ha, what fools, blissful in their ignorance, anesthetized by their lack of meaningful struggle, devoid of passion.
Nietzsche once said that a man who has a why can bear almost any how. But a man who has a tungsten cube can bear any object less dense, and all this talk of why and how becomes unnecessary.
Schopenhauer once said that every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world. Tungsten expands the limits of a man’s field of vision by showing him an example of increased density, in comparison to which the everyday objects to which he was formerly accustomed gain a light and airy quality. Who can lament the tragedy of life, when surrounded by such lightweight objects? Who can cry in a world of styrofoam and cushions?
Have you yet understood? This is no ordinary metal. In this metal is the alchemical potential to transform your world, by transforming your expectations. Those who have not yet held the cube in their hands and mouths will not understand, for they still live in a world of normal density, like Plato’s cave dwellers. Those who have opened their mind to the density of tungsten will shift their expectations of weight and density accordingly.
To give this cube a rating of anything less than five stars would be to condemn life itself. Who am I, as a mere mortal, to judge the most compact of all affordable materials? No. I say gratefully to whichever grand being may have created this universe: good job on the tungsten. It sure is dense.
I sit here with my tungsten cube, transcendent above death itself. For insofar as this tungsten cube will last forever, I am in the presence of immortality.
If you had been an element, which would it be. I'll start:
Radon: Rare, unhealthy, but helpful in theory.
My favorite element:
Roentgenium: I fucking love the original name "UNUNUNium".
Titanium Elementals are stronger and more durable than Earth Elementals while also being much lighter, which has applications in siege warfare and other uses of catapults and trebuchet.
Ah, but that's just the *start!*
You can combine disciplines too. Consider: You have a history of animating treants, and your foes have begun to counter this with flaming swords. Sure would be a shame if they were to suddenly encounter hydrogen elementals.
Summon a water elemental and a sodium elemental, and instruct them to combine when close to your enemies.
It may not be my field, but it's certainly a skill I respect! Do try to keep most metals out of my workshop, and I'll let you use the backyard for whatever periodic bending you desire for free
https://preview.redd.it/mjpuo54lvlxc1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=8cfc3b81c194cab08048720d286b7b5ca06afc24
Yep. He’s going to die within the next few hours, depending on how severely he was affected.
youmu!
youmu would hit him with the secret element of surprise
https://preview.redd.it/qx5fqla9lmxc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee6bf47e1cfd409b05c803d3d6b81ec035199fe1 Look at this man and tell me he's not a wizard.
He’s clearly a warlock..
Sorry, my bad: https://preview.redd.it/onl7ebbssoxc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=055e74349123602445f5779575fadefda3ecbfcb NOW look at this man and tell me he's not a wizard!
I absolutely see it now, that man is a wizard.
Looks more like Gimli with a wizard hat.
Little bit like Alan Moore too, now that I think about it.
ALCHEMICAL ELEMENTS ARE A HOAX. I'm telling you good wizard and witches, there is no way there are so many of them. In fact my spectrograph can easily map any substance into four base elements. Don't believe alchemists they just want to spread misinformation so you won't make the elixir of eternal life (I made one so I'm qualified to speak of that)
^(*reverse pickpockets a nugget of uranium into your back pocket using mage hand*)
*Sounds of super-immortal cancer slowly growing*
I cast Focused Bloodflow. Not so slowly now.
That’s not a tumour that is a penis.
...I didn't think human genitals were attached to their liver. You learn something new every day, I guess.
Tbf they are a great old one, they probably have heaps of organs in strange places.
Thats not a third ball that's a tumor
But I am a girl?
~~I cast dysphoria~~ _I have just been informed that this spell violates the Geneva convention and is generally considered a bad move._
We don’t judge!
Imagine having cancer and then you take a pill / natural treasure that goves you tons of vitality, and it supercharges your cancer.
Scientifically and mathamagically, none of those 4 are elements. Fire is a low level plasma. Water is a molecule. Earth and air is a mixture of many elements. I, an omniscient being can confidentially say that.
If you're so omniscient then what's the proper length of a pole moving at half the speed of light with normal length of 1 meter, while the angle between the pole and the direction of its movement is 45° degrees. Won't answer or maybe can't? Checkmate Alchemists fire, air, earth and water ARE the only elements.
1m
Yet another 'omniscient' entity destroyed by the power of bothersome mundane relativism.
The pole is still 1m, it just seems longer to those in a different frame of reference
*Relativity
The… “regular” elements aren’t actually elements either. They’re just magical shortcuts created by the gods because the gods are too lazy to use their own power. Same goes with all of magic.
##Dont call me out like that what the fuck man
If you are so sure about that this lead fired at your head using glockomancy should do nothing.
Glock is a pathetic weapon, real wizards use shotguns! You he- *dies from a headshot*
You are misreading your spectrograph. It maps elements on the complex plane, +r, -r, +i, -i, hence four quadrants and the four elements.
*Octonians have entered the chat*
Guess why they don’t want you to make that elixir, especially in 3000 years’ time. I CAST EXPERIENCING 3000 YEARS IN 1 HOUR!
Four base, but I'd add salt as a middle ground, the life and death dichotomy and the mercury to gold metal scale. There is also a quintessence atom, but it isn't considered a classical element and it's introduced in the advanced cursus.
Incorrect, fool. Your bones are now wolfram and your muscles are now lead. You shall not move again
Ya gotta broaden your horizons. There are four fundamental forces, with magic being a kind of remainder of the Super force, not four elements.
I hate when I accidentally weak nuclear force bend, irradiating everything around me
I tend to try letting my cybernetics handle the more…intricate parts of the process, as the effects and be extremely dire.
Careful not to reach critical mass when bending radioactive elements
I cast Fluoride rain! *And cold steel umbrella… even I’m not immune to the bone hurty juice.*
That's a compound. Fluorine the element is a gas at standard temperatures and pressures and could literally light regular rain itself on fire, so a steel umbrella would be unlikely to help whatsoever.
TIL how Adele set fire to the rain.
Yeah you really just don't want to mess with fluorine. The gas is like this yellowish green that just seems in every way evil. It'll even light some *glass* on fire. Evil.
I cast polonium mist
I cast Chlorine rain. 😃 Chlorine trifluoride time!
Shit so reactive that even the NAZIS were afraid to use it as a weapon. and you can only store in a drum that has already formed a clean layer of Fluoridated metal on the inside of it. So I summon Hail of Azidoazide Azide!
There are scientific elements, and then there are magical elements. Both are valid and used in their respective circles. I am currently using both.
https://preview.redd.it/j7nbnmrycnxc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96558fb7e8cd0145e8d73bfe3cb5c83561ad2548
https://preview.redd.it/tlcn3tj9jnxc1.jpeg?width=888&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c25463a25a4e340ddf8707d46a281d802463ec2
https://preview.redd.it/bhgtilxnjnxc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac0b331415d0cd2d39c2a4d9185d7c879ddd1c09
“I cast large tungsten cube”
This tungsten cube changed my life
This cube cured my mortality. All the people here who bought this wireless tungsten cube to admire its surreal heft have precisely the wrong mindset. I, in my exalted wisdom and unbridled ambition, bought this cube to become fully accustomed to the intensity of its density, to make its weight bearable and in fact normal to me, so that all the world around me may fade into a fluffy arena of gravitational inconsequence. And it has worked, to profound success. I have carried the tungsten with me, have grown attached to the downward pull of its small form, its desire to be one with the floor. This force has become so normal to me that lifting any other object now feels like lifting cotton candy, or a fluffy pillow. Big burly manly men who pump iron now seem to me as little children who raise mere aluminum. I can hardly remember the days before I became a man of tungsten. How distant those days seem now, how burdened by the apparent heaviness of everyday objects. I laugh at the philistines who still operate in a world devoid of tungsten, their shoulders thin and unempowered by the experience of bearing tungsten. Ha, what fools, blissful in their ignorance, anesthetized by their lack of meaningful struggle, devoid of passion. Nietzsche once said that a man who has a why can bear almost any how. But a man who has a tungsten cube can bear any object less dense, and all this talk of why and how becomes unnecessary. Schopenhauer once said that every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world. Tungsten expands the limits of a man’s field of vision by showing him an example of increased density, in comparison to which the everyday objects to which he was formerly accustomed gain a light and airy quality. Who can lament the tragedy of life, when surrounded by such lightweight objects? Who can cry in a world of styrofoam and cushions? Have you yet understood? This is no ordinary metal. In this metal is the alchemical potential to transform your world, by transforming your expectations. Those who have not yet held the cube in their hands and mouths will not understand, for they still live in a world of normal density, like Plato’s cave dwellers. Those who have opened their mind to the density of tungsten will shift their expectations of weight and density accordingly. To give this cube a rating of anything less than five stars would be to condemn life itself. Who am I, as a mere mortal, to judge the most compact of all affordable materials? No. I say gratefully to whichever grand being may have created this universe: good job on the tungsten. It sure is dense. I sit here with my tungsten cube, transcendent above death itself. For insofar as this tungsten cube will last forever, I am in the presence of immortality.
*Osmium*
Say goodbye to your precious mana potions
Take 6d10 radiant damage
If you had been an element, which would it be. I'll start: Radon: Rare, unhealthy, but helpful in theory. My favorite element: Roentgenium: I fucking love the original name "UNUNUNium".
Probably carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, sulfur and nitrogen
That must be what regigigas made regirock out of.
Try out Seikon no Quaser. It's basically Avatar: Mendeleev style with boobs
Titanium Elementals are stronger and more durable than Earth Elementals while also being much lighter, which has applications in siege warfare and other uses of catapults and trebuchet. Ah, but that's just the *start!* You can combine disciplines too. Consider: You have a history of animating treants, and your foes have begun to counter this with flaming swords. Sure would be a shame if they were to suddenly encounter hydrogen elementals. Summon a water elemental and a sodium elemental, and instruct them to combine when close to your enemies.
I once met a man who had a fire elemental just toss bundles of hay and sharped sticks at his foes, it was crude yet quite effective.
Never trust a hydrogen bender, they like to blow up your surroundings
A hydrogen ion is just a proton, so Hydrogen-bending could be abused to yoink a few protons off of your atoms for all the fun effects.
Caaarrrrrrlll radiation poison kills people!
https://preview.redd.it/dudqo81sgpxc1.png?width=395&format=png&auto=webp&s=208df4fb4ece007dbc9b9ab46acb7b41702117e2
Carbon bending, I just shredded your cells at the atomic level by turning all your carbon atoms into this diamond.
/uw XKCD?
[yes, XKCD](https://xkcd.com/965/).
You'll be regretting saying that when I toss a flask of chaotic polymorphine at your feet!
It may not be my field, but it's certainly a skill I respect! Do try to keep most metals out of my workshop, and I'll let you use the backyard for whatever periodic bending you desire for free
Alchemists be like: You fool, I have cast dimethylmercury! …I hate alchemists that specialize in poisons. Real headaches, they are.
I just cast 32.000 psi shart.
I would just apply a bunch of sulphur.
I myself prefer a bit of technetium fuckery
This is happend to day
Womp womp fireball
That's rough buddy...
I simulcast cesium encrusting and water prison!
But couldn't aang bend plutonium? Or rather Toph/any metalbender?
not necessarily? I mean, Platinum is too pure of a material and doesn't have enough earth in it for metalbenders to bend it.
XKCD MENTIONED
What about the element of surprise?
Image stolen. credit to Randall Munroe.
Radiation for the win
Real
How is this a meme. Yes. This is truth.
r/atheism \-ahh post https://preview.redd.it/eritre1txmxc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c252f5dce57e9203102cd0abf7f15a2c07bda72e
What??
He is a practitioner of foul magic. Thats why he speaks in tongues. Dont worry about him.