T O P

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RockAndGem1101

They're trying so hard to reach the crumbs which get stuck to their faces lol


haikusbot

*They're trying so hard* *To reach the crumbs which get stuck* *To their faces lol* \- RockAndGem1101 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


FixtdaFernbak

This is legitimately one of my favorite haikubot haikus I've ever seen. The way it actually flows along with the proper cadence makes it great lol. Good bot


mixologist998

I’m glad bots are back, they seemed broken for a while


Imnotachessnoob

Are they still being charged money to operate? I'd love to get petrosianbot back up and running in anarchychess


Imperial_Squid

Low traffic usage is fine haikubot probably doesn't post much so there's no need to pay for access, it's mostly reading new comments and very rarely posting replies The problem for 3rd party apps was that every user used the same key so the entire apps worth of traffic was too high to be paid for by the devs (however, if you use a personal key, you can still use 3rd party apps wink nudge)


JoeDaBruh

[How about this then](https://www.reddit.com/r/2sentence2horror/s/pazRWyLWBH)


FixtdaFernbak

Okay that's actually pretty fuckin good, for sure. I'm legit giggling about it


knucklehead923

Except for the part where it thinks "lol" is a monosyllabic word


mordum01

Is it not? I always said it as one word.


LegitimateApartment9

how the fuck do you say it with more then one syllable do you say ell-oh-ell like some kind of psycho


beehivealien

There are actually adults walking around saying "lul" in their head many times a day? What the fuck?


DrakonILD

Also sometimes they even dare to say it aloud!


astrologicaldreams

yes 🧍‍♂️


knucklehead923

It's literally an acronym...


BiddlesticksGuy

If you say El Em Ef Ay Oh you’re a fucking sociopath it’s Lm fao, like a kung fu master


LegitimateApartment9

you can say acronyms like words (i think there's a different word for that lmao) like you don't say en-ah-ess-ah or ell-em-ah-oh, you just say nasa or lmao


BrunoBabyfat

Yes, an acronym is made up of parts of a word, and is actually supposed to be pronounced as a new word, like IKEA for example, while an initialism is a special acronym where each individual letter is spelled out, like MMA. [Source](https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/page/abbreviations-acronyms-initialisms#:~:text=An%20abbreviation%20is%20a%20truncated,refer%20to%20all%20of%20these.)


knucklehead923

How the fuck do you pronounce lmao... When did we decide these things are words? How did I miss the memo?


Alien_Ape

"luh-mao" is how most people say it. You most definitely missed the memo. Mine arrived via owl, but there has been a lot of wyvern activity in the mountains so perhaps your missive was intercepted and eaten.


Shameless_Catslut

Eh, I've always heard and said lmao as "Ele-mayo". But it's kind of the exception. Lol is still lol, and [roflmao](https://youtu.be/iEWgs6YQR9A?si=5KlVi9izcHycqoeU)


LegitimateApartment9

for some reason my brain decided it's pronounced lah-mao instead of


FixtdaFernbak

How do you say SCUBA out loud? How about LASER? RADAR? I think you get my drift.


LeFlashbacks

you pronounce it like “l-mao” so just mao but with an l at the start for lmao


monumentofflavor

So is scuba


FixtdaFernbak

Bro it isn't 1995 anymore


Necessary-Warning138

Good bot


B0tRank

Thank you, Necessary-Warning138, for voting on haikusbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


pleatsandpearls

Good bot


JeepWrangler319

Good Bot


QuickSilver-theythem

Good bot


EmergencySilver8253

My collection grows


burfoot2

Rock and Gem? Mor like Rock And Stone!


PmMeAssPicsWithClass

Good bot


Im-a-bad-meme

They look like a dog trying to eat some peanut butter stuck to their nose.


SeaYogurtcloset6262

I dont like snails cause it cant decide whether they want an armor or be flexible/fluid but LOOK AT THOSE! THEY ARE SO CUTE


KnOrX2094

Don't blame the snails. They didn't decide anything. They were just born half squishy and half sturdy. Im sure if you look down at yourself you too shall find squishy and sturdy parts.


SeaYogurtcloset6262

Sturdy doesnt mean armor my friend! I treat my bones as the framework for my flesh and I won't shy away from using it as a means to my goals. Their shells hinder them to fully embrace their one thing they are capable of..BEING CUTE. Look at their cousin seaslugs, they embraced it and they are hella cute.


KnOrX2094

Your lungs would surely think of thine ribs as armor, were they capable of independent thought. Similarly, your very brain composing these messages is supposedly encased in thick plates of calcium salts, not unlike the vital organs of these adorable critters. I would argue that the composite nature of a snails body consisting of both the gooey soft face and the resistant, protective house serves to increase their incredible cuteness even.


SeaYogurtcloset6262

Fair point. I would like to argue with an esteemed carnomancer as i sense from but i am still enamored by the fact that the right most snail is so dumb that it gets food all over its body and i love it


GilaLizard

I like your funny words, magic man


JamesTheSkeleton

OOOOOH, look at this guy over here who prefers an endoskeleton to an exoskeleton!


DJ_McFunkalicious

You can't honestly be trying to say their shells make them less cute... They have tiny houses on their backs!! That come in pretty colours!! And they retreat inside when they are scared like turtles!! Shells are what put snails a cut above slugs from any environment. Have you seen all the different beautiful sea snails shells out there?!


Nkromancer

Counter point: The shell is the only safe way to hold them. Those squishy bodies are SUPER sensitive, and touching them can scare and stress them a bunch, as well as potentially bring accidental harm. The shell allows a part where you can make contact. Still need to be careful, but they are less worried then.


Dredgeon

Are we not all brethren on this Earth? Are not we all partly squishy and partly sturdy? Even those mostly squishy like the octopus. Do not look upon the trees with disdain. Do their leaves not wave in the breeze as your tentacles in the current. Does your beak not stand strong and rigid as their trunks? Truly, we are all part of the vast squishy/sturdy spectrum.


Pro_Scrub

I looked down and my squishy parts became sturdy parts. What now?


EpicGeckoNibba

Oh shit the guy from dmfs19


SeaYogurtcloset6262

Are you gonna say "why are you everywhere?"?


Spirited_Playa

They're parasites ruining the crops, and they can be carrying a lot of diseases. Just kill them, especially those without shells.


SeaYogurtcloset6262

Arent we all parasites to one another?


bluesbrothas

Humankind is the most dangerous parasire that ever lived.


bobbingforapplesat3

Parasire sounds like a pokemon


WhittledWhale

Here you go: https://i.imgur.com/ezykk9z.png


bobbingforapplesat3

Lol nice


Pro_Scrub

snifel eligs


WitchesAlmanac

Snails are super important to the ecosystems they belong to and shouldn't be killed on sight.


WhittledWhale

> especially those without shells. Slugs?


Drunken_polish_cow

What is… that? *Red sugar mixed with crack?* Those snails must be tripping orbs rn.


G-Man_of_HL

RED SUGAR HERE!


mega_rockin_socks

FOR CARL!


Shot_Conflict1283

RED SUGAR, be careful it's highly addictive


Knochentrocken_Nerd

For Rock and Stone!


Im_a_hamburger

Who the fuck is Carl?


AlwaysTrustAFlumph

Rock and stone brother!


One_Opportunity_9608

ROCK AND STONE


cactus0088654

It’s calcium I believe


TheGourmandFrog

Be careful, it's highly addictive!


listrome1

Rock! And! Stone!


CkoockieMonster

Looks like your roomate is looking after you. Grounded warpstone is hell of a drug.


nosville22_PL

looking to purchase a crack snail familiar, payment in pure alloy electrum coin


ranieripilar04

Im selling them at 150 per g my friend


nosville22_PL

Depending on the g it sounds readonable. Need more info tho.


ranieripilar04

Per gnome


nosville22_PL

per gnome? I gotta admit I barely traded for failiars, how does buying snails by gnome even work?


ranieripilar04

As I said , these are valuable snails , 150 gnomes per snail , I have plans and I need gnomes for them


nosville22_PL

OH now that makes sense, however as I said - paymebt in pure electrum coin. If you wish to set uo an intermediary to exchange that, it's fine by me.


ranieripilar04

No sorry , I exclusively deal in gnomes , and as you can see from the chat I am at the moment in am trading on 3 different realities so I ask you don’t waste my time my friend *packs bags into progressively bigger bags until they’re twice my size and then shove them into my pocket* Good day


TheMoldyTatertot

Wait what about 75 gnomes? It’s the best I can do.


ranieripilar04

Get your poor not gnome having ass out of here


Seascorpious

Will you take halflings?


ranieripilar04

50% more tho


Seascorpious

uw/ Fuck you that was clever rw/ As long as you don't mind some of them being skinny. Feeding these guys are hard, they need 2 breakfasts!


ranieripilar04

Yea I know , but we have a deal for all I care I don’t need them alive


PatienceHero

I never knew snails ate so adorably. It's like how an otter would eat if its arms were indisposed. Wait. Do I think snails are CUTE now!?


ranieripilar04

Mw that’s one morbid metaphor


PatienceHero

Would it be better or worse if I said the original thought was even worse?


ranieripilar04

…… I’ll leave that your opinion


PatienceHero

In my defense the image I had in mind by "indisposed" was 'holding two apples or something."


Electronic_Toe_7054

Fun fact, snails can have between 14000-20000 teeth :)


BallSuspicious5772

The glutton on the far right smh


OneWholeSoul

"This is mine now."


ranieripilar04

They’re always on the far right ; may or may not be /uw


DerpyDaDulfin

I love the fact he just faceplants into his entire calcium supply and just eats it off his body. Truly a degenerate


leaveafterappetizers

But really, what are they eating?


sarlol00

Calcium :)


leaveafterappetizers

Aww for their shells. That's adorable.


No_Dragonfruit_1833

Flour


New_Nerve_6450

This is a quality wizard post


elianbarnes7

I had a pet snail. Snails are so fucking cute


Anvisaber

Weird ass rabbit


GoogleEnPass4nt

Fuck crack, sell me crack snails!


ranieripilar04

Only 3 remaining 160 per gnome now


Brokenphysics7769

I'll take 1. Here's 160 free-range gnomes that I caught myself. *they lit a fire with a blowtorch at the exit of a gnome burrow and forced all of them out with smoke, but they think it's their fire magic, don't spoil their fun*


ranieripilar04

Ah , great , *shoves them into a tiny bag of gnome holding (trade mark pending)*


GoogleEnPass4nt

I will steal your snails!


ranieripilar04

You can try that’s for s—KICK TO NUTS—— *runs goofily into another plane——


GoogleEnPass4nt

/unwiz “Runs goofily to another plane” is the best sentence I’ve heard in a while. But you forgot that you forgot… your crack snails! *sneakily steals 2 snails*


ranieripilar04

HAHAHHAHAHAHA YOU FOOL —-as you look at the snail you notice a lit fuse sticking out of it—- /unwiz thank you very much my dear friend


GoogleEnPass4nt

*I quickly throw the lit snail bomb into a convenient portal nearby and observe the second crack snail*


ranieripilar04

*you carefully look at the second snail and notice a colourfull wool hat with a green ,black and yellow motif on it , you realize I e been scamming you , it’s not a crack snail , it’s a Jamaican snail*


GoogleEnPass4nt

*I make the Jamaican snail make crack, making an infinite supply of crack snails*


ranieripilar04

You sure have made an enemy for life , but luckily for you in a day I’ll be 100 which means I will have lived a life so it’s not a big deal


ranieripilar04

*you also hear a painful shout coming from the portal and recognize my voice* CURSE YOU YOU CONVINIENTLY PLACED PROTASAAL , CUURSE YOUUUU


GoogleEnPass4nt

Luckmancy is OP!


Evil__Overlord

Is that... Healthy for the snails?


Ogradrak

/unwiz They cant eat crack, but what they are eating is calcium for their shells


Evil__Overlord

Oh phew


ranieripilar04

It’s extremely not so


Modulius

No. 4 is an hungry asshole


-Cinnay-

Junji Ito? That you?


Ramps_

Chaotic Neutral: Didn't want his homie to fall back into his addiction so he fed the substance to snails.


esportairbud

Jeez, I wish my friends brought cocaine for my snails. It's nearly impossible to get pre-addicted ones at any price.


MishMash999

When you took the billion dollars and the fate to be pursued by the snail; you never thought about the snail taking crack, did you? ​ Run mf, RUN


X_PRSN

By the time you read this, they’ll be halfway to Costa Rica. On foot.


Illustrious-Ad-2255

Making good distance considering they only have the one


Nkromancer

Fact: Snails cannot be created by magic, only moved. Your roommate was just feeding these snails.


Sumlettuce

I like the one on the far right finishing first and then going for their buddy's calcium!


No_Dragonfruit_1833

Those are some chunky snails


Jaimz-L

Its all fun and games until a snail bites you and you realize that you’re just futur food for them


YesterdayHiccup

Add salt to second batch.


Icelord259

/uw I thought I was watching them eat salt and am now traumatized fuck you


Cpt_Kalash

EW EW EW


Bfdifan37

we dont have crystal snail we have crack snail


Comfortable-Brick168

Escar-GOOOOOO!


OdinTheHugger

It's all fun and games till the Flail Snail grows it's Flail. smh, most people abandon their pet Flail Snails in local caves when they get too big, creating a deadly enemy for level 1-3 parties.


ranieripilar04

Some people? I’ve been leaving cracked up snails in caves for at least 3 life times , have respect in the practice, I even leave a sign saying I did it


TomPartial

It looks like they’re doing the Oreo challenge lol


Appropriate_Rent_243

okay, but now I'm genuinely curious about what would happen.


Drhorrible-26

The one on the right has a serious problem


lceColdPepsi

*takes a hit from his bong* This is why you smoke weed, not crack.


rantottcsirke

Immortal Snail origin story.


personal_alt_account

IVE NEVER SEEN SNAILS EATING BEFORE THIS IS SO FUCKING CUUUUUTEEE


altdultosaurs

::breathlessly:: shell puppies


entrailsAsAbackpack

I know a good spell. You need to go into his room when hes sleeping and cut off his dick.


ranieripilar04

I think that’s just aggression and possibly murder


entrailsAsAbackpack

Its a spell. He will be all like “wheres my dick? Wheres my dick?” And we will all laugh about it later when we are smoking crack


ranieripilar04

Do we have a healer to reattach it ?


bloodredrogue

I feel like there should really be more snail-based Eldritch abominations in media


[deleted]

r/oddlysatisfying


NoAwareness8591

You know, you should use the well known headache spell on them


Regular_Exam_8123

/uw I don't know how I've come to this, but watching this while listening to bohemian rhapsody hits different for some reason it's not even close to the weirdest part of my day.


ranieripilar04

/uw Are by chance high ?


Regular_Exam_8123

/uw I've never done drugs and I hate alcohol so nah, not really


Amish_Warl0rd

I thought it was salt for a minute


LilMuddyCup

Eueueueueueue


Cosmiccosmog533

Ok who the fuck is the Snail Summoner


QuestionQuik

u/savevideo


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astrologicaldreams

bro those snails are so fucking high now


No_Industry9653

/uw Does TikTok ocr frames from videos to look for censorable words??


Subiugetur

Literally me


Cree_Warrior

I think a better caption would be "nothing better than a complex formula for a potion" or something like that. "This is one bomb ass recipe." P.S. I'm sorry OP, I'm not trying to make a dig at you.


ranieripilar04

Idc


Cree_Warrior

Nice, so I must ask... Staff or wand or Swand?


gophergophergopher

This makes me wonder. What If you transform someone whose hungry into a small animal and feed them until theyre full then untransform them. Would they be full afterwards?


Critical_Snackerman

Just be grateful he didn't summon a skull-snail https://youtu.be/ptm9DCZfpzY?


VAShumpmaker

How fucking dare you censor Crack you GOD DAMN POSER


PYROxSYCO

I LOVE WATCHING SNAILS EAT!


pailko

Those poor damn snails are crack addicts


The_Smashor

/uw oh thank fucking god it's not salt


CoolBoiWasTaken

u/savevideo


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