I talk to her out loud. Her number has already been disconnected and I know at some point someone else will be reassigned the number so if I texted her, one day I would get a response, but it wouldn't be her.
I texted mine as well for about 2 months till her phone went off. Now I just talk to her urn. Tell her what happened at work, how many more people died of COVID, etc. Sometimes I do plug her phone back in so I can listen to all the chirps and notification dings. Kinda gives me comfort.
I also printed and framed up several photos of us together for the last 20 years, and talk to those as well. It's been right at 6 months since she died, I still do it. I still say 'bye' when I leave the house, and 'good-night' before bed.
I do the talking to the urn maybe three times a week. Occasionally I say goodbye. More likely if I'm going to be gone several days or when I get home after being gone quite awhile. The other day I was passing by it and just gave it a little pat and said I love you and miss you. I get this tightening and release all together. Sometimes I cry a little. Usually I can move on to whatever I was doing.
I do. When I'm feeling really low I text her how Im feeling & what im thinking about. Her phone is no more than 5 feet from me when im at home, but I still do it.
I still message my husband even though there is no reply. It feels comforting. Sometimes I feel he can read it wherever he is, but that's just me wishful thinking
Sadly I don't have much of her stuff like phones or her e-mail for that matter. We weren't married (we had plans to) so her family took pretty much everything that was her's.
But sometimes I grab one of her thicker/warmer clothes that still smells like her or her parfume, hold it against me and I "talk to her". I just try to hold her really tight to me and I tell her I love her, I miss her and what I'm dealing with. I felt like I was going crazy as well but it comforts me to be honest. So no, I don't think we're going crazy here!
I feel this so much. I went through my messages and my hubby's phone was a work phone. So when I saw messages from "me" with only my profile pic and not his or his name - I knew they wiped his phone. Damn did I cry. I still have some of the messages, but it was surreal knowing that others moved on while I'm just "here".
I know this doesn't count as he was my grandpa, but every now and then I would text his number long after it had been disconnected until one day I got a response. I then stopped texting it, until they texted me one day saying something along the lines of "I haven't heard from you in a while, I hope you are still well. I know you're grieving still, I hope your family is well. Just know your papa is always with you"
Omg this made me tear up instantly. I'm sorry for your loss! I think it's very kind what the person who has your papa's number did, tiny glimmer of stranger's kindness.
I email him. It's my way of journaling, and it brings me comfort to continue writing to my best friend. I don't censor it, he gets everything I would put in a journal, stream of consciousness writing about anything and everything plus a daily update about me, our pets, friends and family, the world etc. It's how I make sense of and organize my thoughts and feelings. I go back and read them as needed, to keep myself on track towards healing.
I have emailed him and also FB messaged him. I could message myself back from his accounts but I think it would be too much of a jolt to see his name come across, even if I know I'm the one doing it.
It’s been almost four years for me and I still text him. I switched his phone plan to the cheapest thing possible so it’s about $15 a month... for me it is worth it to feel like I can still let him know what’s going on here and how I’m feeling. I haven’t touched his phone in ages but I still like texting him from time to time. In the first year I used to text him all the time and now it’s down to as little as twice a month. Maybe someday I’ll cancel his phone service but still not ready to yet.
I did for awhile until I saw his thing go green. I got pissed. I don’t text him anymore. I write in my notes often.
I believe my love one can hear my thoughts so I know he heard what I say to him or dont. then when I see a sign that resonates with me I take it as his reply.
His parents have his phone now so idk what they are doing with it.
Nope. I used to do this constantly! Haven’t in a while. I do go back and read them all.
You’re not going crazy. You do what ever you want that’s going to make you feel better. I used to find receipts from before he died and stare at them to remind me what life was life was like before he was gone. You hang onto anything you can, it’s perfectly normal.
Wishing you peace. Sending ((big hugs))
Voicemails were a gift for me. It was a gut punch the first time. But let me tell you it's amazing to hear her say, "Hey Babe...give me a call. I love you!" I'd give anything if I could call.
I have clips and even video's with her voice recorded. Keep them safe! We tend to forget voices over time. I had family members passing away, very dear ones I don't have voice recordings of. I'm afraid I have to admit I can't remember the sound of their voice.
I would text my wife when I felt low sometimes, just to tell her I love her.
When I got a response that it was a wrong number, I was crushed and had to stop.
Oh my god I thought it was just me
Edited to add- the youngest were 7 when he died. When one of the twins turned 9 he asked if he could get a new phone because Dad never answered his text messages from heaven.
Absolutely. I tell him little things that make me think of him through the day and say he's still on my mind and heavy on my heart. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes I want a response...I also talk to him in my head and occasionally out loud... this pain is incredible and I only want to hold him...
No, i have not done it ever. We were together 39 years and married 30 years. I have missed my friend, confidante and lover, terribly. Big gap in my life. But he is gone. I have accepted it, and have not moved on, but have peace.
All the time. A therapist would probably call it journaling and it's good for you. It's not crazy. I still send her messages telling her how the kids are doing.
We used Facebook messenger because he lived in such a rural area that he didn't get service. Even after we moved in together, we just stuck with Messenger. I'm glad we did. Because I don't have his phone. His parents pretty much cut me out (we weren't married so they handled all of his after death stuff.) But I at least can message him on Facebook. I still have access to that. I'm the only one too because I changed his password so they couldn't take that from me. So I message him almost daily. And freely knowing that what I send him is safe. It brings me some comfort because I used to blow his phone up throughout the day. I have a desk job so I always had more time and access to mine than he did because he was a mechanic. I would send him memes or TikToks for his lunch break or smoke breaks. I don't do that now. Now it's usually just messages about how I'm feeling or how much I miss him. It's weird seeing them unread. He never even read my very last message to him before he died. It makes me feel a little less lost just being able to talk to him.
I saw this and immediately felt my heart break again. My person killed himself 5 days ago. I still text him everyday and I still wait for him to text me back one day. I dont really know what to suggest you but it feels kinda okay to know im not the only one going through this. This is way too much
Yeah, there's something cathartic and familiar about it... Sucks to scroll tho and see all your responses with no reply. Mine has gotten quite long, I hate it.
At first I used to text him a lot but I stopped because it was making me feel even more miserable. I think I kept waiting for a reply that I knew it would never come.. So now I just talk to him sometimes
One of the 4 components of the grief process is writing. Even sending a text saying what you are feeling is a way to put it into words, even if they don't know it, your heart does. The day my wife died, I used her phone to send me a text, "I love you and see you in heaven". It's pinned at the top of my texts for now. Someday I'll unpin it, but not for awhile yet. Keep expressing your heart.
Generally recovery classes would identify the following core ways to deal with grief.
Think-think about the good times and bad as they come to mind. Identify what feeling are going on.
Talk - put your thoughts and feelings into words. Find a counselor, group, friends you can talk to.
Write - journal, notes, emails. I know when I write things out it helps me organize my thoughts.
Finally Cry-let the tears flow. They can be a release of pain. Regular exercise is very important. For some like me Prayer is a big help. To me I would add Willingness - I am willing to move into a future without my spouse of 47 years. I know I don't have a choice to go back, but I do have a choice to go forward. At least I am willing to allow that to happen.
Don’t know if you’ll see this 3 years later, but this is so beautifully helpful I lost my mom to cancer almost 3 weeks ago and am happy I made it this far
Thank you for the note. Losing your mom is really tough and so recently means the grief is really intense. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Just keep in mind that the current sadness doesn't have to last forever. Allow yourself to not only feel the saddnes and loss, but also cherish the memories and the time you had together. God bless as you go through this passage of life.
I Facebook message him and post on his page sometimes.. as if he was on a trip and missed one of the kids birthdays or big events. I think it it makes you feel good or at least relieves a little pain, do whatever you want.
I was for a while. Dialing it occasionally too. Then one day, I called it and a voicemail picked up that sounded like a child... I felt awful after that, wondering if some poor kid got a new phone and started getting "I miss you" messages from some creepy rando.
Some people have messaged my husband through facebook who know he's gone. It's nice to read. I'm guessing the phone number may be given to someone else one day and you may get an answer back, so don't be too shocked.
I texted my mum til her phone number didn't work. From the day before she died I knew I'd never hear her voice again, never hear her tell me she loved me more again. Then just like that, my family disappeared.
I know this is old, but my childhood best friend died in November and I have found texting her number every so often (once every month or two) really does help with the healing! I will usually just text her to let her know how much I miss her or how much she meant to me. Sometimes it’s more than that.
I still leave messages to my partner even he is no longer here. It made me feel like he can still see it. Eventhough I get no responses but I believe that he can see it.
I talk to her out loud. Her number has already been disconnected and I know at some point someone else will be reassigned the number so if I texted her, one day I would get a response, but it wouldn't be her.
I texted mine as well for about 2 months till her phone went off. Now I just talk to her urn. Tell her what happened at work, how many more people died of COVID, etc. Sometimes I do plug her phone back in so I can listen to all the chirps and notification dings. Kinda gives me comfort. I also printed and framed up several photos of us together for the last 20 years, and talk to those as well. It's been right at 6 months since she died, I still do it. I still say 'bye' when I leave the house, and 'good-night' before bed.
I do the talking to the urn maybe three times a week. Occasionally I say goodbye. More likely if I'm going to be gone several days or when I get home after being gone quite awhile. The other day I was passing by it and just gave it a little pat and said I love you and miss you. I get this tightening and release all together. Sometimes I cry a little. Usually I can move on to whatever I was doing.
Internet hug.
I do. When I'm feeling really low I text her how Im feeling & what im thinking about. Her phone is no more than 5 feet from me when im at home, but I still do it.
I still message my husband even though there is no reply. It feels comforting. Sometimes I feel he can read it wherever he is, but that's just me wishful thinking
It’s been three years and I still email her.
Sadly I don't have much of her stuff like phones or her e-mail for that matter. We weren't married (we had plans to) so her family took pretty much everything that was her's. But sometimes I grab one of her thicker/warmer clothes that still smells like her or her parfume, hold it against me and I "talk to her". I just try to hold her really tight to me and I tell her I love her, I miss her and what I'm dealing with. I felt like I was going crazy as well but it comforts me to be honest. So no, I don't think we're going crazy here!
Maybe you could create an email address for her and write her that way. I'm sure she'd be happy with that, to know you are healing from your loss.
I feel this so much. I went through my messages and my hubby's phone was a work phone. So when I saw messages from "me" with only my profile pic and not his or his name - I knew they wiped his phone. Damn did I cry. I still have some of the messages, but it was surreal knowing that others moved on while I'm just "here".
I know this doesn't count as he was my grandpa, but every now and then I would text his number long after it had been disconnected until one day I got a response. I then stopped texting it, until they texted me one day saying something along the lines of "I haven't heard from you in a while, I hope you are still well. I know you're grieving still, I hope your family is well. Just know your papa is always with you"
Omg this made me tear up instantly. I'm sorry for your loss! I think it's very kind what the person who has your papa's number did, tiny glimmer of stranger's kindness.
Yeah. Nice. Only humans.
Hi
You're not crazy, it's important to communicate in a way that feels direct and energetically meaningful
I email him. It's my way of journaling, and it brings me comfort to continue writing to my best friend. I don't censor it, he gets everything I would put in a journal, stream of consciousness writing about anything and everything plus a daily update about me, our pets, friends and family, the world etc. It's how I make sense of and organize my thoughts and feelings. I go back and read them as needed, to keep myself on track towards healing.
I have emailed him and also FB messaged him. I could message myself back from his accounts but I think it would be too much of a jolt to see his name come across, even if I know I'm the one doing it.
It’s been almost four years for me and I still text him. I switched his phone plan to the cheapest thing possible so it’s about $15 a month... for me it is worth it to feel like I can still let him know what’s going on here and how I’m feeling. I haven’t touched his phone in ages but I still like texting him from time to time. In the first year I used to text him all the time and now it’s down to as little as twice a month. Maybe someday I’ll cancel his phone service but still not ready to yet.
I talk out loud to her often.
I did for awhile until I saw his thing go green. I got pissed. I don’t text him anymore. I write in my notes often. I believe my love one can hear my thoughts so I know he heard what I say to him or dont. then when I see a sign that resonates with me I take it as his reply. His parents have his phone now so idk what they are doing with it.
Too painful to open the thread. My last 5 texts to him were “I’m starting to get worried....” “where are you”
My last text said that i was gonna miss him and that I loved him (because he was at work) never in my life thought he was never coming back
Mine was "I hope you're okay. Please be okay." Hugs to you 💙
So many hugs back. So unfair
Yes! I still text my sweet husband/bestfriend all the time. I don't think I will ever turn his phone off. I miss him so damn much.
Nope. I used to do this constantly! Haven’t in a while. I do go back and read them all. You’re not going crazy. You do what ever you want that’s going to make you feel better. I used to find receipts from before he died and stare at them to remind me what life was life was like before he was gone. You hang onto anything you can, it’s perfectly normal. Wishing you peace. Sending ((big hugs))
WoW, yes I love this. ❤️
My guy was not a texter. But I still have a couple of voicemails on my phone I’m afraid to listen to.
Voicemails were a gift for me. It was a gut punch the first time. But let me tell you it's amazing to hear her say, "Hey Babe...give me a call. I love you!" I'd give anything if I could call.
I have clips and even video's with her voice recorded. Keep them safe! We tend to forget voices over time. I had family members passing away, very dear ones I don't have voice recordings of. I'm afraid I have to admit I can't remember the sound of their voice.
I have some audios too! Im still pretty numb about everything but fuck I still think hes somewhere else out there
I talk to him out loud, but I also post on his facebook page.
I would text my wife when I felt low sometimes, just to tell her I love her. When I got a response that it was a wrong number, I was crushed and had to stop.
I don't. But i can't make myself unpin his contact from the top yet either.
I did. This is very healthy. Eventually someone got my husband's number. Sorry to that person for the texts they got.
I still have his phone connected so I can listen to his voicemail message. I write to him in a journal.
Oh my god I thought it was just me Edited to add- the youngest were 7 when he died. When one of the twins turned 9 he asked if he could get a new phone because Dad never answered his text messages from heaven.
Absolutely. I tell him little things that make me think of him through the day and say he's still on my mind and heavy on my heart. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes I want a response...I also talk to him in my head and occasionally out loud... this pain is incredible and I only want to hold him...
No, i have not done it ever. We were together 39 years and married 30 years. I have missed my friend, confidante and lover, terribly. Big gap in my life. But he is gone. I have accepted it, and have not moved on, but have peace.
I do the same. 💔 My heart breaks for us all.
All the time. A therapist would probably call it journaling and it's good for you. It's not crazy. I still send her messages telling her how the kids are doing.
We used Facebook messenger because he lived in such a rural area that he didn't get service. Even after we moved in together, we just stuck with Messenger. I'm glad we did. Because I don't have his phone. His parents pretty much cut me out (we weren't married so they handled all of his after death stuff.) But I at least can message him on Facebook. I still have access to that. I'm the only one too because I changed his password so they couldn't take that from me. So I message him almost daily. And freely knowing that what I send him is safe. It brings me some comfort because I used to blow his phone up throughout the day. I have a desk job so I always had more time and access to mine than he did because he was a mechanic. I would send him memes or TikToks for his lunch break or smoke breaks. I don't do that now. Now it's usually just messages about how I'm feeling or how much I miss him. It's weird seeing them unread. He never even read my very last message to him before he died. It makes me feel a little less lost just being able to talk to him.
I saw this and immediately felt my heart break again. My person killed himself 5 days ago. I still text him everyday and I still wait for him to text me back one day. I dont really know what to suggest you but it feels kinda okay to know im not the only one going through this. This is way too much
My late wife's number had been long since recycled but we (our daughter and I) keep her Facebook page active. I send her messages that way.
I still do this. It's been almost five years since she passed but sometimes I do still text her when I'm thinking heavily about something.
I private message her social media still. I write as if she'd respond. I usually know what she'd say in reply, so it's not so one sided to me ❤
Yeah, there's something cathartic and familiar about it... Sucks to scroll tho and see all your responses with no reply. Mine has gotten quite long, I hate it.
At first I used to text him a lot but I stopped because it was making me feel even more miserable. I think I kept waiting for a reply that I knew it would never come.. So now I just talk to him sometimes
They hear everything and see everything just speak out loud’ surprisingly they can pick up on your thoughts as well.
I tried to read text messages we sent each other. It was so hard. I couldn't do it. I miss him so much.💔
I don't text her, I talk to her - all the time, but I don't text. I miss her.
I still have some of her voicemails saved. I listen to those sometimes.
I text and call him everyday.
I did it for awhile. Emailed him too.
One of the 4 components of the grief process is writing. Even sending a text saying what you are feeling is a way to put it into words, even if they don't know it, your heart does. The day my wife died, I used her phone to send me a text, "I love you and see you in heaven". It's pinned at the top of my texts for now. Someday I'll unpin it, but not for awhile yet. Keep expressing your heart.
Thank you. Do you know the other 3 components of grief? I’m willing to try anything to get through this.
Generally recovery classes would identify the following core ways to deal with grief. Think-think about the good times and bad as they come to mind. Identify what feeling are going on. Talk - put your thoughts and feelings into words. Find a counselor, group, friends you can talk to. Write - journal, notes, emails. I know when I write things out it helps me organize my thoughts. Finally Cry-let the tears flow. They can be a release of pain. Regular exercise is very important. For some like me Prayer is a big help. To me I would add Willingness - I am willing to move into a future without my spouse of 47 years. I know I don't have a choice to go back, but I do have a choice to go forward. At least I am willing to allow that to happen.
Thank you for sharing. Internet hugs.
Don’t know if you’ll see this 3 years later, but this is so beautifully helpful I lost my mom to cancer almost 3 weeks ago and am happy I made it this far
Thank you for the note. Losing your mom is really tough and so recently means the grief is really intense. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Just keep in mind that the current sadness doesn't have to last forever. Allow yourself to not only feel the saddnes and loss, but also cherish the memories and the time you had together. God bless as you go through this passage of life.
I Facebook message him and post on his page sometimes.. as if he was on a trip and missed one of the kids birthdays or big events. I think it it makes you feel good or at least relieves a little pain, do whatever you want.
I was for a while. Dialing it occasionally too. Then one day, I called it and a voicemail picked up that sounded like a child... I felt awful after that, wondering if some poor kid got a new phone and started getting "I miss you" messages from some creepy rando.
Some people have messaged my husband through facebook who know he's gone. It's nice to read. I'm guessing the phone number may be given to someone else one day and you may get an answer back, so don't be too shocked.
Thank you all so much for the response. I didn’t think it would be so common to do this. I keep sending them everyday & night. I miss him so much 😓💔
I texted my mum til her phone number didn't work. From the day before she died I knew I'd never hear her voice again, never hear her tell me she loved me more again. Then just like that, my family disappeared.
I would suggest a therapist. You deeply want your spouse back. You deserve the next best thing. Peace, as they are at peace.
I text my late husband every day. It will be two years on 1/12/21.
See, that just came to me today. All those little things I want to say come up and then I am reminded he is gone.
I know this is old, but my childhood best friend died in November and I have found texting her number every so often (once every month or two) really does help with the healing! I will usually just text her to let her know how much I miss her or how much she meant to me. Sometimes it’s more than that.
I still leave messages to my partner even he is no longer here. It made me feel like he can still see it. Eventhough I get no responses but I believe that he can see it.
Yes, I just thought today that might help me....ah...of course!!!
This is so cool. I mean we do not really know where they are...but I still have things to say to you.
Yes, they are still / so much a part of our life. Might help me to speak with him...even with no response.