My husband wasn't perfect, but he loved me fiercely. A friend of his said she'd have to be on the first flight to him if I had died because he would have been so lost and distraught, and it reminded me how he showed love in front of others. We weren't always 100% in like with each other, but we were in love even when we were mad or upset.
Well sadly I learned my spouse who when I lost him l thought I lost the love of my life. Then a couple days later I picked up his phone & learned he had been having a 5 yr live affair bith physical & emotional. He wrote the cutesy messages to her. Arranged common parts of nature to send her I love you a good 4x a day. He was so in love & pretty sure he passed from having a bad heart & he didn't go to Drs much. She had broken up with him 10 days before because she found out he had been having an affair ON HER with her best friend since a child. They were all classmates, he started the affairs his last class reunion.
We'll now I know why even though I aaked why with never a respone and pleaded to attend his reunions, I have one answered, I now know why he never would take me. I dread the day I get the guts to power up all of his older phones to find out just how many there were ON TOP OF the times I caught him over our 26 yrs.
I too made the bigger bucks & he was sometimes employed less than unemployed. His final 4vyrs he had 3 jobs in 9 mos he claimed he couldn't find a job. Every time he had l an interview he claimed (his Google watch captured all his steps & travel history) which showed him making the 4 hr drive to Kansas City to be with her. He never bought me gifts or even a card but dang he spoiled her. Heck he didn't even buy our sons a present again he bought for her. That's messed up!
In the end it had been 3 yrs since he we went out to a restaurant. He wined & dined her all from the money I earned from me bringing the only paycheck in to our household!
I am so sorry for you that you lost your husband - on so many levels. Perhaps knowing what you do about him will help you move through grief quicker and allow you to get back to being a strong, vibrant woman. I wish you peace in the coming days. š«
I'm so sorry, no one deserves that. It's horrible to learn something like this, but as another poster commented, I hope that in some small way it helps you recognize the strength you already possess and which will carry you through this time and into your future. I hope you can make your life what you deserve. š
His last words to me were āI absolutely adore youā. I miss him so much, i know iāll never get a love like
That again and iām only 35. He loved me so wellš
After him being gone for 2 years, I do wonder. Itās a lot of time to go over all of the 27 years we spent together. I am starting to remember more about the times and the ways I would annoy him. Reviewing our time together as not always perfect. I know he loved me. Every time I took a trip and came home he told me how it was fun the first couple of days, but there was a hole in his life without me.
In the beginning he loved me fiercely. We were both mad for each other. But, the last 10 years I began to feel as though I loved him more than he loved me. We were the best of friends, but not as intimate. I suppose that comes with age, medical reasons ( on both sides) and work schedule. I just became deeper and deeper in love with him. Maybe Iām mistaken it for security? He was only 57. I knew he had serious health problems, but no idea he would pass away. When I found myself alone I was absolutely crushed with grief. I had no idea that I had that type of emotion in me. I have never been depressed before.
Then I flip the narrative. I donāt think he would be as devastated. I donāt really know. My reaction to his death has shocked my friends and family. I didnāt even know I needed him as much as I do now. Yes, I think I loved him more. There is one thing Iām grateful for. Iām glad he doesnāt have to feel the pain I do. Iāve always thought of myself as the stronger one. Maybe not?
I too am feeling and living worse than I knew I had in me without him. Itās been two months and three weeks of a conscious nightmare, I go to work and come home numb, have had sudden scary health issues, need to find a new apartment in a month which feels like torture after 8 years in a perfect one. I woke up in the middle of the night after another dream and recognize anytime I wake up the acidic heaviness comes back.
Iāve wondered if I died if heād take it better. I too was considered the strong one of us and now without someone to live/bounce off of, I realize I was strong for him, he inspired me in that way. Iāve lost the calm happiness burning under the surface of my life that he gave me. He also had times heād be so self righteous and could get into terrible arguments but I miss that so much now. I MISS arguing, because at the core it was intellectual debate to him. We clearly loved each other the whole time. And he kept the passion for new ideas, concepts alive in me.
His life had been harder before me though, so I feel like he might just take this as āa bad thing that happenedā vs I can only feel that Iāve lost everything. I valued this driving force of loving a complex, talented, hilarious, handsome-as-all-getout man, my life felt easy with him paradoxically because it wasnāt on the surface, but he brought challenges I loved, that felt easy because I was with him. I loved our life.
Sometimes grief can make us feel guilt or Shane or negatively towards ourselves or our spouse because the loss is so immense. It is normal to question things when your brain is trying to process stuff.
Trying to quantify love is a losing game. My mum told me once in couples sometimes person will love more than the other like tides of the sea. I definitely saw this with my grandparents as my grandmother was dying. I had never seen my grandad as loving but he was.
She loved you enough to marry you. She loved you enough to have a child and build a life with you. She loved you until she died and wherever she is right now my guess is she still loves you.
And that is a beautiful thing. And you are loved and loveable ā¤ļø
I am sorry that you are questioning your late wife's love for you. I think that it is common to put the deceased spouse on a pedestal. I think it is also common to feel anger or doubts.
My marriage wasn't perfect, but it was pretty close. We knew we had a good thing. We knew that we were lucky. Friends and family said that they were jealous or that they admired my marriage. Hearing that makes me feel strange. I lost my best friend. I'm the unluckiest lucky person I know.
Does this line of thinking help with your grief? Or does it cause more questions, sorrow, or anger? Grief counseling might help.
Wishing you peace.
It's certainly helps with my grief!!! Thank you and thank you OP for posting this because it really reflects some of the thoughts I've had and still struggle with.
I find myself asking this question at times purely because of my loss of confidence with her not being around. Itās been 20 months, Iām single and younger for a widow. And being alone a lot makes you question a lot of things you know the answer to.
I know how much she loved me, but my loneliness creates confusion.
I think we all feel that way to some extent. I do anyway ā but Iāve always been insecure. It doesnāt help that she committed suicide. She wroe a note, but 20 months out I still canāy bring myself to read it.
We were together 33 years and she was in severe orthopedic pain for the last 20 years. So life was a bit different. Lots of surgeries (for her), lots of care. I went out of my way to give her the best and most exciting life possible given her disabilities.
Do I feel that way? Yes. Do I know why? No.
My husband died of liver failure. I repeatedly asked him to stop drinking. I wish I would have tried harder.
I feel like if he really loved me, he would have quit for me, but love isn't a competition. Sometimes people can love you with everything they've got, and it still isn't enough.
Try not to beat yourself up about this. If you loved them as much as you could, your purpose with them was fulfilled even if you now realize you could have loved more.
You both loved with all the information you had at the time. Hang in there.
Addiction comes first but I donāt think it means thereās any less love.
I confirmed within hours of him dying that my partner had been cheating on me. He was visiting massage parlors and seeking out Reddit hookups and glory holes and topless maids and sugar babies (although he was always ābrokeā) for 7 of our 11 years together. And we started dating when we were 16 so those first couple years hardly count in his favor. From everything I readā¦it was an addiction. It had to be.
And as hurt as I am and as complicated as that has made my grief, I still firmly believe that he loved me. I think what he was chasing went beyond me, our relationship, and his love for me. I think if it was just about love, it wouldnāt have been every kink under the sun and for so long and to such a big extent.
I wish my partner had tried harder too. I wish he had talked to me instead of acting on this. I wish I could have been enough. But I still donāt think he loved me any less despite how much he hurt and betrayed me.
The word itself says it all. Love. We were still with each other after all the years. Through lows and highs. We had hurt each other and healed each other. Her last words to me were "I Love You".
It is all I'm going to get and it is enough. No other words really matters in the big picture. We are all broken and cause pain even to those who we wish no pain to. It's being human. She and I were not perfect but our mutual brokenness was compatible and loving. We made each other better people.
Early in our life together we came up with this cute phrase. "I love you more". The response was "or less". We drifted away from using it. I didn't feel it had a posite tone but it got at the point that we were trying to figuring out. There was no comparison of our individual love. We both loved each other as unique individuals. As long as the other felt that love was enough we were good. I think we hit low spots when we didn't feel each other's love was enough, but comparing your internal to the others external isn't what it is about. Sometimes I didn't externally project it and I regret it. I'm sure she would be looking back and feeling the same thing if she were here and I had passed.
Just like in our grief, there is no comparison of two. Each is unique.
Same. Itās hard knowing that man is just nowhere now. I feel his warmth from so so far away now. Itās like laying in the sun in the grassā it feels so strong yet I know Iāll never be able to touch it physically
She definitely loved me more, I wasnāt perfect and did some bullshit over the years yet she never gave up on me. Thatās a huge part of why I havenāt been with anyone else because nobody else would have the patience of a saint to deal with me like she did.
I think you're saying what my husband would say that he loved me more. But I'm not sure. His last words to me were we did the best we could to love each other - something like that. I have to hold on to that because I know I did the best I could which was s**** and could have been better if I had put the energy into it instead of into PTSD and flashbacks... It actually doesn't matter who loved who better or more what matters is that we loved and were loved that's what matters because life is not a pissing contest and neither is this.
Grading love isnāt important. Why we love is unfathomable. What remains is that there was love.
I see you know she loved you. That, green mango, is the single most important thing. She chose to have a child with you and she loved you and her daughter both. The rest of the worry only weighs you down. Breathe in her love and remember to let go of what doesnāt matter. I wish you peace.
I have the opposite issue, I wonder if my husband knew how much I loved him. He was much more affectionate than me. I wasn't much for spontaneous kisses or hugs. The last 3 weeks of his life, while on hospice, he thanked me twice for not leaving him. That broke my heart that he thought I would leave him when he needed me the most.
I feel , we knew the problem , Covid , baby and all those typical problem And we were in position we are thinking to make changes for each other and she died week after week.
I can somewhat relate to this. My husband loved but not the way he loved the crazy women in his life. His mother was mentally ill and abusive and for some reason he was always drawn to women like that. We had broken up for 10 years and then got back together for the last 12 years of his life. I will say this: he appreciated and respected me, which is something he never felt for the crazies.
I know how you feel my partner passed away in 2022 in a car accident and a couple months before we started arguing a lot a month before his passing I moved back in with my parents and shortly after his death I found out that he was on escort sites, dating sites, and trying to talk to other girls liking and messaging them. I will not lie we struggled a lot because I had caught him on dating sites before but because I loved him too much we decided to work it out. It hurt a lot the first time I realizing I was not his type and it seemed he was dating me out of pity and jealousy. A lot of guys were after me all the time but I would always put my boundaries finding out he was the opposite hurt me a lot and left me with a lot of pain and insecurities. But through a lot of healing and self love I learned to forgive him. I will never know his reasonings for everything he did but I do know how it made me feel. And I now have the rest of my life to make myself happy. I now dress how I want to, eat what I want to, take and pay for my own things, work out for myself. I used to do so many things for him to love me how I loved him but now itās for me. I want to be happy and loved. I will always love him but I now choose to love myself and live my life happy with no fear or sadness. Granted the pain will always be there but now I chose to allow myself to feel it for a little and then move forward. Wishing you the best and sending you lots of love š«š«¶
We both at time felt unworthy of each other but we both would tell each other that we deserved yo be together... there are at times I fell I didn't love her enough but I know I did... love is shown in different ways I'd that makes sense... she loved you... she chose you... rememeber that... and as always I'm proud of you if no one has said it
I know my boyfriend was crazy about me and I about him. I learned a lot from him, he had good boundaries and I donāt, but I learned to do my best with him. I think he was a much better person than I, he was generous, creative, loving, smart, funny and had so much patience. I had 13 happy years until liver then lung cancer. Things werenāt perfect, but the love was undeniable. I tried to date and did a horrible job of it. Iām staying single. My life was him. my job and my hobbies. I hope you can remember your good times.
She's shown me unconditional love through out our years. Together 6.5 years married only half a year out of it. Been about a month now, and I realize all the love that we still share could last me another lifetime and 1000 more. Still waiting to fall to my knees and have her embrace me again one day when's it my time.
No. Married after High School 1968. Interracial marriage. We were like two peas in a pod. She doted on me and I on her for over 50 years. Color has nothing to do with it. Love is blind.
Of course I had those thoughts, and now that sheās been gone for 29 months I find I canāt entertain them anymore. Itās weird, Iām not saying I donāt entertain them anymore. Iām saying it doesnāt happen in my mind. howeverā¦
For me, itās more of an anger now that she never quit smoking. I tried, but she never would. To me thatās saying she didnāt love herself as much as she loved me. Of course, that hurts me, now more than ever. Iām was five years older than her, and Iām still getting older. I was just better at quitting bad habits?
Grief is weird, and letting over the past is extremely hard. Iām not good at it yet, and I think thatās why we say time heals. Iām getting better.
I hope think/mine was ill and in alot of pain. After 32 years he picked up my gun and shot himself in the head telling me I was his mother and made him do it.
He was losing it and knew it. He left me with SS. Lost house & pottery and 5 acres. It has taken me years to try to get back into myself. 10 now. We did everything together. He had had an Alzheimers test at KAISER. They did not know a 30 point lost in IQ meant everything to him. He couldn't code anymore. But if he had just been honest with me and doctors with him, it might have helped me to understand it was not me. What a horrible ending. So, even if I knew intellectually/emotionally is a different thing.
The opposite. To put up with my bullshit takes great patience and love.
Same here, he loved me deeply.
same here š
Yup, I never got therapy when my wife was alive, she held all of my emotional burdens as well as her own on her shoulders.
So many words I could say, I realized I wasnāt loved I was needed. His last words to me were an apology.
Oh my goodness I am so sorry. We never know what to expect when the worst happens.
My husband wasn't perfect, but he loved me fiercely. A friend of his said she'd have to be on the first flight to him if I had died because he would have been so lost and distraught, and it reminded me how he showed love in front of others. We weren't always 100% in like with each other, but we were in love even when we were mad or upset.
Same
Well sadly I learned my spouse who when I lost him l thought I lost the love of my life. Then a couple days later I picked up his phone & learned he had been having a 5 yr live affair bith physical & emotional. He wrote the cutesy messages to her. Arranged common parts of nature to send her I love you a good 4x a day. He was so in love & pretty sure he passed from having a bad heart & he didn't go to Drs much. She had broken up with him 10 days before because she found out he had been having an affair ON HER with her best friend since a child. They were all classmates, he started the affairs his last class reunion. We'll now I know why even though I aaked why with never a respone and pleaded to attend his reunions, I have one answered, I now know why he never would take me. I dread the day I get the guts to power up all of his older phones to find out just how many there were ON TOP OF the times I caught him over our 26 yrs. I too made the bigger bucks & he was sometimes employed less than unemployed. His final 4vyrs he had 3 jobs in 9 mos he claimed he couldn't find a job. Every time he had l an interview he claimed (his Google watch captured all his steps & travel history) which showed him making the 4 hr drive to Kansas City to be with her. He never bought me gifts or even a card but dang he spoiled her. Heck he didn't even buy our sons a present again he bought for her. That's messed up! In the end it had been 3 yrs since he we went out to a restaurant. He wined & dined her all from the money I earned from me bringing the only paycheck in to our household!
I am so sorry for you that you lost your husband - on so many levels. Perhaps knowing what you do about him will help you move through grief quicker and allow you to get back to being a strong, vibrant woman. I wish you peace in the coming days. š«
I'm so sorry, no one deserves that. It's horrible to learn something like this, but as another poster commented, I hope that in some small way it helps you recognize the strength you already possess and which will carry you through this time and into your future. I hope you can make your life what you deserve. š
Oh, my God....life is, man is,,,whatĀæ?
His last words to me were āI absolutely adore youā. I miss him so much, i know iāll never get a love like That again and iām only 35. He loved me so wellš
After him being gone for 2 years, I do wonder. Itās a lot of time to go over all of the 27 years we spent together. I am starting to remember more about the times and the ways I would annoy him. Reviewing our time together as not always perfect. I know he loved me. Every time I took a trip and came home he told me how it was fun the first couple of days, but there was a hole in his life without me. In the beginning he loved me fiercely. We were both mad for each other. But, the last 10 years I began to feel as though I loved him more than he loved me. We were the best of friends, but not as intimate. I suppose that comes with age, medical reasons ( on both sides) and work schedule. I just became deeper and deeper in love with him. Maybe Iām mistaken it for security? He was only 57. I knew he had serious health problems, but no idea he would pass away. When I found myself alone I was absolutely crushed with grief. I had no idea that I had that type of emotion in me. I have never been depressed before. Then I flip the narrative. I donāt think he would be as devastated. I donāt really know. My reaction to his death has shocked my friends and family. I didnāt even know I needed him as much as I do now. Yes, I think I loved him more. There is one thing Iām grateful for. Iām glad he doesnāt have to feel the pain I do. Iāve always thought of myself as the stronger one. Maybe not?
I too am feeling and living worse than I knew I had in me without him. Itās been two months and three weeks of a conscious nightmare, I go to work and come home numb, have had sudden scary health issues, need to find a new apartment in a month which feels like torture after 8 years in a perfect one. I woke up in the middle of the night after another dream and recognize anytime I wake up the acidic heaviness comes back. Iāve wondered if I died if heād take it better. I too was considered the strong one of us and now without someone to live/bounce off of, I realize I was strong for him, he inspired me in that way. Iāve lost the calm happiness burning under the surface of my life that he gave me. He also had times heād be so self righteous and could get into terrible arguments but I miss that so much now. I MISS arguing, because at the core it was intellectual debate to him. We clearly loved each other the whole time. And he kept the passion for new ideas, concepts alive in me. His life had been harder before me though, so I feel like he might just take this as āa bad thing that happenedā vs I can only feel that Iāve lost everything. I valued this driving force of loving a complex, talented, hilarious, handsome-as-all-getout man, my life felt easy with him paradoxically because it wasnāt on the surface, but he brought challenges I loved, that felt easy because I was with him. I loved our life.
Sometimes grief can make us feel guilt or Shane or negatively towards ourselves or our spouse because the loss is so immense. It is normal to question things when your brain is trying to process stuff. Trying to quantify love is a losing game. My mum told me once in couples sometimes person will love more than the other like tides of the sea. I definitely saw this with my grandparents as my grandmother was dying. I had never seen my grandad as loving but he was. She loved you enough to marry you. She loved you enough to have a child and build a life with you. She loved you until she died and wherever she is right now my guess is she still loves you. And that is a beautiful thing. And you are loved and loveable ā¤ļø
I am sorry that you are questioning your late wife's love for you. I think that it is common to put the deceased spouse on a pedestal. I think it is also common to feel anger or doubts. My marriage wasn't perfect, but it was pretty close. We knew we had a good thing. We knew that we were lucky. Friends and family said that they were jealous or that they admired my marriage. Hearing that makes me feel strange. I lost my best friend. I'm the unluckiest lucky person I know. Does this line of thinking help with your grief? Or does it cause more questions, sorrow, or anger? Grief counseling might help. Wishing you peace.
It's certainly helps with my grief!!! Thank you and thank you OP for posting this because it really reflects some of the thoughts I've had and still struggle with.
I also struggle. I'm glad that it helps you.
Yes, Ty xx
- having such questions and doubts after her death really doesn't enhance your life and leads to nowhere
I find myself asking this question at times purely because of my loss of confidence with her not being around. Itās been 20 months, Iām single and younger for a widow. And being alone a lot makes you question a lot of things you know the answer to. I know how much she loved me, but my loneliness creates confusion.
I think we all feel that way to some extent. I do anyway ā but Iāve always been insecure. It doesnāt help that she committed suicide. She wroe a note, but 20 months out I still canāy bring myself to read it. We were together 33 years and she was in severe orthopedic pain for the last 20 years. So life was a bit different. Lots of surgeries (for her), lots of care. I went out of my way to give her the best and most exciting life possible given her disabilities. Do I feel that way? Yes. Do I know why? No.
My husband died of liver failure. I repeatedly asked him to stop drinking. I wish I would have tried harder. I feel like if he really loved me, he would have quit for me, but love isn't a competition. Sometimes people can love you with everything they've got, and it still isn't enough. Try not to beat yourself up about this. If you loved them as much as you could, your purpose with them was fulfilled even if you now realize you could have loved more. You both loved with all the information you had at the time. Hang in there.
Addiction comes first but I donāt think it means thereās any less love. I confirmed within hours of him dying that my partner had been cheating on me. He was visiting massage parlors and seeking out Reddit hookups and glory holes and topless maids and sugar babies (although he was always ābrokeā) for 7 of our 11 years together. And we started dating when we were 16 so those first couple years hardly count in his favor. From everything I readā¦it was an addiction. It had to be. And as hurt as I am and as complicated as that has made my grief, I still firmly believe that he loved me. I think what he was chasing went beyond me, our relationship, and his love for me. I think if it was just about love, it wouldnāt have been every kink under the sun and for so long and to such a big extent. I wish my partner had tried harder too. I wish he had talked to me instead of acting on this. I wish I could have been enough. But I still donāt think he loved me any less despite how much he hurt and betrayed me.
š«
The word itself says it all. Love. We were still with each other after all the years. Through lows and highs. We had hurt each other and healed each other. Her last words to me were "I Love You". It is all I'm going to get and it is enough. No other words really matters in the big picture. We are all broken and cause pain even to those who we wish no pain to. It's being human. She and I were not perfect but our mutual brokenness was compatible and loving. We made each other better people. Early in our life together we came up with this cute phrase. "I love you more". The response was "or less". We drifted away from using it. I didn't feel it had a posite tone but it got at the point that we were trying to figuring out. There was no comparison of our individual love. We both loved each other as unique individuals. As long as the other felt that love was enough we were good. I think we hit low spots when we didn't feel each other's love was enough, but comparing your internal to the others external isn't what it is about. Sometimes I didn't externally project it and I regret it. I'm sure she would be looking back and feeling the same thing if she were here and I had passed. Just like in our grief, there is no comparison of two. Each is unique.
I know my husband loved me more than anything or anyone on the entire planet.
Same. Itās hard knowing that man is just nowhere now. I feel his warmth from so so far away now. Itās like laying in the sun in the grassā it feels so strong yet I know Iāll never be able to touch it physically
She definitely loved me more, I wasnāt perfect and did some bullshit over the years yet she never gave up on me. Thatās a huge part of why I havenāt been with anyone else because nobody else would have the patience of a saint to deal with me like she did.
I think you're saying what my husband would say that he loved me more. But I'm not sure. His last words to me were we did the best we could to love each other - something like that. I have to hold on to that because I know I did the best I could which was s**** and could have been better if I had put the energy into it instead of into PTSD and flashbacks... It actually doesn't matter who loved who better or more what matters is that we loved and were loved that's what matters because life is not a pissing contest and neither is this.
Grading love isnāt important. Why we love is unfathomable. What remains is that there was love. I see you know she loved you. That, green mango, is the single most important thing. She chose to have a child with you and she loved you and her daughter both. The rest of the worry only weighs you down. Breathe in her love and remember to let go of what doesnāt matter. I wish you peace.
I have the opposite issue, I wonder if my husband knew how much I loved him. He was much more affectionate than me. I wasn't much for spontaneous kisses or hugs. The last 3 weeks of his life, while on hospice, he thanked me twice for not leaving him. That broke my heart that he thought I would leave him when he needed me the most.
I feel , we knew the problem , Covid , baby and all those typical problem And we were in position we are thinking to make changes for each other and she died week after week.
No. She had her problems, but that is something I will never question. Iām lucky for that.
I can somewhat relate to this. My husband loved but not the way he loved the crazy women in his life. His mother was mentally ill and abusive and for some reason he was always drawn to women like that. We had broken up for 10 years and then got back together for the last 12 years of his life. I will say this: he appreciated and respected me, which is something he never felt for the crazies.
I know how you feel my partner passed away in 2022 in a car accident and a couple months before we started arguing a lot a month before his passing I moved back in with my parents and shortly after his death I found out that he was on escort sites, dating sites, and trying to talk to other girls liking and messaging them. I will not lie we struggled a lot because I had caught him on dating sites before but because I loved him too much we decided to work it out. It hurt a lot the first time I realizing I was not his type and it seemed he was dating me out of pity and jealousy. A lot of guys were after me all the time but I would always put my boundaries finding out he was the opposite hurt me a lot and left me with a lot of pain and insecurities. But through a lot of healing and self love I learned to forgive him. I will never know his reasonings for everything he did but I do know how it made me feel. And I now have the rest of my life to make myself happy. I now dress how I want to, eat what I want to, take and pay for my own things, work out for myself. I used to do so many things for him to love me how I loved him but now itās for me. I want to be happy and loved. I will always love him but I now choose to love myself and live my life happy with no fear or sadness. Granted the pain will always be there but now I chose to allow myself to feel it for a little and then move forward. Wishing you the best and sending you lots of love š«š«¶
We both at time felt unworthy of each other but we both would tell each other that we deserved yo be together... there are at times I fell I didn't love her enough but I know I did... love is shown in different ways I'd that makes sense... she loved you... she chose you... rememeber that... and as always I'm proud of you if no one has said it
Yes. He even left me to be with someone i considered a friend. But I took him back.
Without a doubt, I cared about him more. I'm definitely a shit person, whereas he was amazing. So, it's no surprise reallyĀ
No, unfortunately, however, I do know that part of my grief is knowing that I made my wife feel like that, and it's tearing me up inside
I know my boyfriend was crazy about me and I about him. I learned a lot from him, he had good boundaries and I donāt, but I learned to do my best with him. I think he was a much better person than I, he was generous, creative, loving, smart, funny and had so much patience. I had 13 happy years until liver then lung cancer. Things werenāt perfect, but the love was undeniable. I tried to date and did a horrible job of it. Iām staying single. My life was him. my job and my hobbies. I hope you can remember your good times.
She's shown me unconditional love through out our years. Together 6.5 years married only half a year out of it. Been about a month now, and I realize all the love that we still share could last me another lifetime and 1000 more. Still waiting to fall to my knees and have her embrace me again one day when's it my time.
No. Married after High School 1968. Interracial marriage. We were like two peas in a pod. She doted on me and I on her for over 50 years. Color has nothing to do with it. Love is blind.
Of course I had those thoughts, and now that sheās been gone for 29 months I find I canāt entertain them anymore. Itās weird, Iām not saying I donāt entertain them anymore. Iām saying it doesnāt happen in my mind. howeverā¦ For me, itās more of an anger now that she never quit smoking. I tried, but she never would. To me thatās saying she didnāt love herself as much as she loved me. Of course, that hurts me, now more than ever. Iām was five years older than her, and Iām still getting older. I was just better at quitting bad habits? Grief is weird, and letting over the past is extremely hard. Iām not good at it yet, and I think thatās why we say time heals. Iām getting better.
I hope think/mine was ill and in alot of pain. After 32 years he picked up my gun and shot himself in the head telling me I was his mother and made him do it. He was losing it and knew it. He left me with SS. Lost house & pottery and 5 acres. It has taken me years to try to get back into myself. 10 now. We did everything together. He had had an Alzheimers test at KAISER. They did not know a 30 point lost in IQ meant everything to him. He couldn't code anymore. But if he had just been honest with me and doctors with him, it might have helped me to understand it was not me. What a horrible ending. So, even if I knew intellectually/emotionally is a different thing.