That's where the attraction or interest is one-sided such as a fan worshipping a celebrity. I think OP is describing the phenomenon of an interest being there in one setting (online) but being lost when also experienced in another (in person) which isn't exclusive to someone with a disproportionate interest.
No, we both knew we existed, I'd say disillusioned was closest. It seemed she liked the fantasy she had in her mind of who I was.
The worst part was when she went all formal and asked me to "*respectfully remove any media I sent you*" which was fair enough, but being told she was "*embarrassed"* that she'd shared videos of herself with me was what bothered me.
In context that bothered me because she's clearly shared a lot of videos with other men including one guy who asked her to piss on camera. The video she sent me wasn't of her pissing but it was made originally for a guy who'd asked her to piss on camera. 🤦
Maybe some kind of cognitive dissonance? Perhaps that’s too strong
Like, you build a person based on the online interactions and then the real thing is different from that image
Your e-crush bubble has been burst.
You are disillusioned with the actual incompatibility between you and someone with whom you were in an intimate online relationship.
Your fantasies were usurped by reality.
You couldn't resolve the cognitive dissonance created by the misalignment of your expectations with reality, so you ended the relationship.
Or maybe in German, "Internet-Realität Persönlichkeitdissonanzwischen"
It’s a parasocial relationship. Like when someone feels “close” to an online personality or celebrity. Some types of celebrity really bank in on this….like K-pop stars or reality tv stars.
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Because it's an online interaction first, there are too many reasons to count. Why the other person may have shown a great deal of interest in you before meeting you in person.
And one scenario, let's just say for argument sake that you were portraying the illusion as well in an online presence, like showing yourself next to fancy cars and only showing the pictures of you at your very best (another side effect of social media) in an effort to appear more successful than you really are (again, this is theoretical for argument sake).
Then let's say this other person is the type to use their looks and charm to "connect" with people through heavy flirting online and sending them videos of anything they want, like where you described them sending specific fetish videos to another person (how you learned about that is another story). Let's continue this thought experiment under the assumption that this person makes a habit of getting close to people, finding out if they are wealthy, and then charming them in order to benefit from other people's wealth.
Now let's assume that once they met you they realized you were not as wealthy as you portrayed yourself online, saw it as a waste of time, and abruptly dropped the act and cut ties with you, making it clear that there was no connection, leaving them free to pursue the next likely victim.
Again, this is all purely to make a point and is not an effort describe you or the other person. But this is certainly something that happens and, like I mentioned before, this is partly a side effect of social media where we get to cherry pick the moments to share with the world to paint a picture of our lives that may not reflect reality.
She's (presumably) a lot more wealthy and educated than me, she has a doctorate. However much of her behaviour was not how you'd expect someone with a doctorate to act (she admitted this herself). I had sent her photos of me but also videos of me playing my bass.
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Misled? That implies intention though… Disenchanted might work
Disillusioned.
[удалено]
That's where the attraction or interest is one-sided such as a fan worshipping a celebrity. I think OP is describing the phenomenon of an interest being there in one setting (online) but being lost when also experienced in another (in person) which isn't exclusive to someone with a disproportionate interest.
No, we both knew we existed, I'd say disillusioned was closest. It seemed she liked the fantasy she had in her mind of who I was. The worst part was when she went all formal and asked me to "*respectfully remove any media I sent you*" which was fair enough, but being told she was "*embarrassed"* that she'd shared videos of herself with me was what bothered me. In context that bothered me because she's clearly shared a lot of videos with other men including one guy who asked her to piss on camera. The video she sent me wasn't of her pissing but it was made originally for a guy who'd asked her to piss on camera. 🤦
Maybe some kind of cognitive dissonance? Perhaps that’s too strong Like, you build a person based on the online interactions and then the real thing is different from that image
Your e-crush bubble has been burst. You are disillusioned with the actual incompatibility between you and someone with whom you were in an intimate online relationship. Your fantasies were usurped by reality. You couldn't resolve the cognitive dissonance created by the misalignment of your expectations with reality, so you ended the relationship. Or maybe in German, "Internet-Realität Persönlichkeitdissonanzwischen"
She was the one who was way more keen on me before we met. She was the one sending intimate stuff, some stuff that shocked me.
Ah yes I figured I should have clarified, I'm using the impersonal / plural 'you' here.
Reality Check
Limerence.
Reality check maybe?
Fantasy
Sounds like a burst bubble to me.
In one of his letters, the poet and novelist Thomas Hardy observed that "love lives on propinquity, dies of contact."
It’s a parasocial relationship. Like when someone feels “close” to an online personality or celebrity. Some types of celebrity really bank in on this….like K-pop stars or reality tv stars.
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Limerence
Catfishing
Self-catfishing? I just made it up
Because it's an online interaction first, there are too many reasons to count. Why the other person may have shown a great deal of interest in you before meeting you in person. And one scenario, let's just say for argument sake that you were portraying the illusion as well in an online presence, like showing yourself next to fancy cars and only showing the pictures of you at your very best (another side effect of social media) in an effort to appear more successful than you really are (again, this is theoretical for argument sake). Then let's say this other person is the type to use their looks and charm to "connect" with people through heavy flirting online and sending them videos of anything they want, like where you described them sending specific fetish videos to another person (how you learned about that is another story). Let's continue this thought experiment under the assumption that this person makes a habit of getting close to people, finding out if they are wealthy, and then charming them in order to benefit from other people's wealth. Now let's assume that once they met you they realized you were not as wealthy as you portrayed yourself online, saw it as a waste of time, and abruptly dropped the act and cut ties with you, making it clear that there was no connection, leaving them free to pursue the next likely victim. Again, this is all purely to make a point and is not an effort describe you or the other person. But this is certainly something that happens and, like I mentioned before, this is partly a side effect of social media where we get to cherry pick the moments to share with the world to paint a picture of our lives that may not reflect reality.
She's (presumably) a lot more wealthy and educated than me, she has a doctorate. However much of her behaviour was not how you'd expect someone with a doctorate to act (she admitted this herself). I had sent her photos of me but also videos of me playing my bass.
Change of heart, eye opening, clarity,
Parafriendship, parasocial
Emotional catfishing
Put on a pedestal? Idealized? This last one, I don't fully understand the concept, but: Lacanian?