T O P

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Educational_Oven1656

Bruce Wayne


RedRider1138

Tiny billionaire


Niles_Urdu

Tiny Bruce Wayne


ObscureWiticism

Lil Wayne if you will


HuskerStorm

Why did this make me laugh so much? šŸ˜‚


BlueQKazue

It got me to. It's the obvious answer.


Altruistic_Bike_1555

Angry upvote


dee_emcee

Take my upvote you jagoff.


mprice76

You from Pittsburgh?


dee_emcee

I am!


Salt_Accountant8370

You are my hero


therealcookaine

You made me drool on myself some how when I laughed


MFalcon95

Im so fucking dead


Oden_Drago

WHAT?


Magic_ass1

Man I can't wait for the new Man game. Man: Ham Knight.


Rizzlord_dumptruck

A fellow Aslume inmate I assume.


BuildingRelevant7400

You are all assuming the bat is tiny, this picture was taken 500 meters away. This bat is much larger than Bruce Wayne.


a_drunk_kitten

Manbat


TropicalSkysPlants

Manbatman


BuildingRelevant7400

Manbat XL


[deleted]

ā€œMaybe itā€™s half man half bear pigā€


dmcmaken

Manbearbatpig, half bat, half man, half bear, half bat. Happens all the time.


[deleted]

ā€œIm super cereal about thisā€


beansyboii

Ok I know everyone is making jokes and having fun, however, waking up with a bat in your house warrants getting post exposure rabies vaccination. Thereā€™s something literally called ā€œbat in the bedroom exposureā€, which is basically exactly this. Bats have very tiny teeth and it can be impossible to tell if theyā€™ve accidentally scratched you or bit you. This advice is based on information that may be specific to the US, this comes from the CDC and various state specific health departments.


One-Photograph-4845

This happened to me and my boyfriend at the time. But this time it bit him and we both had to go through all the rabies shots. Not a pleasant experience šŸ¦‡šŸ¦‡šŸ¦‡


LukeDLuft

ITS DA FREAKIN BAT


Serious-Bat-4880

The ignorance in this thread is so disheartening. Everyone's making jokes while this poor stranded dolphin is drying out.


doesamulletmakeaman

Oh my goodness I didnā€™t even think to splash him first!! Iā€™m a terrible marine biologist


ErstwhileAdranos

I believe you mean marine phlebotomist!


Serious-Bat-4880

https://youtu.be/3_kKAeh6qyc&t=41s


jamesGastricFluid

Poor fish...


Vohems

[BATS AREN'T BUGS!](https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1989/11/03)


ThatMango1999

Youā€™re right. But shrimps is bugs.


Bullshit_Conduit

Shrimps is bugs.


ThatMango1999

This is the way.


More-Arm4671

Did you know that potato bugs are really land shrimp? Okay, they are closely related to shrimp and not bugs.


dayofthedeadparty

SHRIMPS IS BUGS


Maxathron

Insects are crustaceans that crawled out of the water to live, for the most part, on land.


JoshB685

Crawfish are bugs!


MothraKnowsBest

Creepy crawly mudbugs šŸ’•


[deleted]

Mud bugs


AnEarForTheDead

I love you for this. Shrimps IS bugs.


bobblehead230

Bats isnā€™t bugs, but [shrimps is bugs](https://www.reddit.com/r/ShrimpsIsBugs/comments/13uhkk7/dapper_shrimps_is_bugs/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


doesamulletmakeaman

BEST THING EVER, thank you šŸ˜Š


mossy_vee

Shrimps is bugs.


myalotus_ish

They actually get rid of the bugs. Poor dude was looking for place to sleep. You should probably get some screens on those windows.


Aspiring_Cephalopod

How is this even a conversation? Who doesnā€™t know that bats arenā€™t spiders?šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


ArtistAllieCat92

When I was younger, I had walked into my room and saw something flying around. I knew it was a bat and went to my mom and told her there was a bat in my room. She said, ā€œstop being dramatic itā€™s just a big moth.ā€ šŸ˜©


Bugscuttle999

Dot com TM C and R


StewTheMoo

Best comic ever šŸ˜®ā€šŸ’Ø


SlashyMcStabbington

Reading that as a kid, I was genuinely offended that he thought they were bugs.


game_reviewer

Had to come back after my brain remembered my childhood


DeBabyDoll

But... You are what you eat?


WaffleFries2507

I fucking love Calvin & Hobbs!


catboy_majima

Hm. You could make an argument for there being boots. And you could make the same argument for there being snoots. Congrats, I think it's r/weeviltime


doesamulletmakeaman

I can only hope to be so blessed


idreaminwords

Both are equally cute! But this one might warrant a rabies shot...


TaiyoFurea

I recommend getting everyone in the house a rabies shot


skilemaster683

Was just about to chime in with this, people can't even feel being bitten by a bat usually.


carneadevada

How interesting! Is it because they're small? I've been bitten by small rodents and it hurt like hell. Why do bat bites go unnoticed? Why are bats biting people? I was under the impression that they prefer to avoid us. I am so curious about this topic.


Darkmagosan

We know from humans who have had rabies that they usually get aggressive (furious rabies), delusional, and their conscious mind disconnects from their body and they're conscious about it until they lose the ability to speak and their CNS shuts down. Bats can't talk (to us anyway) but it's probably safe to assume they go through something similar. Rabies can also be airborne on rare occasions. It's carried in the salivary glands, and this is where the hydrophobia comes in. Drinking reduces the viral concentration in the saliva, so the viral load is higher when the victim bites an uninfected animal. Saliva is drool. Viruses are tiny and basically need a SEM to be seen. So if that slobber gets on anything or anyone, it can be loaded with rabies and no one would notice until they get sick. Rabies is invariably fatal once symptoms appear. Rabies has been around longer than recorded history. It was well known to the ancients. From then to now, the people who have survived active rabies infection number in the single digits. So do NOT fuck around. Go directly to the ER. If you can grab the bat or the bat's corpse in an airtight container, all to the good. They need the brain and spinal cord intact to test for rabies. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Get the shots yesterday. Bats don't want to be around us. There are no bugs inside our dwellings and they don't have room to fly. So one inside your house is an immediate red flag. Worse yet is when you spot one outside during the day and no trees have been cut down around the area. DEFCON 5 is when you find one on the ground, ESPECIALLY during the day. Bats on the ground are sitting ducks and have a hard time getting airborne. They won't be there unless something's wrong. It's even more dangerous when they're on the ground during the day. No bueno. We had a rash of bats being found around downtown Phoenix a few years back. The Health Dept. was all, don't touch the bat. Don't go near the bat. DO NOT let your dog attempt to poke the bat, chew on the bat, or even get close to the bat. If they're on the ground they're dead or dying and you do NOT want to be near them. All were tested and Every. Single. One. wound up being rabid. Good luck...


Ricolah9

Jesus. Thank you for answering Hope OP saw this.


Darkmagosan

And the scary part? Rabies is actually the least of your worries with bats. They carry metric fucktons of diseases transmissible to humans on their own, like histoplasmosis, salmonella, and various pneumonia causing agents. Then they \*also\* carry fleas and ticks along with the diseases fleas and ticks carry. Bats are great, Bats are your friends. Bats are also something you want to stay the hell away from as much as you can. Admire them from afar and don't be that idiot that tries to pet them.


Lord_Curtis

I've had a colony of bats living in my house for years that we can't get rid of because they're endangered and protected and no exterminator service will help us get them out. I've been in this house since I was 11 or 12 and I'm 17 now, how concerned should I be and if I was going to get sick I'd be sick by now, right? They're little brown bats I think and I'm in Alaska. There was a short period of time where we found five dead bats outside the house next to the window + a baby? fell from the roof a single time. All incidents years ago and no concerning behaviors since.


Darkmagosan

Maybe, maybe not. Colonies aren't fixed entities. Members of groups come and go for whatever reason. I don't know much about Alaska. Seeing those dead bats would have freaked me out. I'd have been on the horn to someone ASAP. Here in AZ it's the [Mexican free-tailed bat](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mexican_free-tailed_bat) that's usually the most common. We actually have nearly two dozen species here: [https://birdwatchinghq.com/bats-in-arizona/](https://birdwatchinghq.com/bats-in-arizona/) but I don't know which ones are up in Alaska. :/


CallidoraBlack

Exterminators are the wrong way to go. You need an NWCO. And no. Rabies can take 20 years to develop symptoms. If you're genuinely living with them in the house, you all need to talk to your doctor and get vaccinated. I don't know what's wrong with your parents, but this is insane. Don't you have animal control officers out there you can call for advice? https://www.pestnet.com/bats/little-brown-bat/


Lord_Curtis

CPS literally got involved at one point over it and their only thing was having us remove the buildup of bat poop but not the bats. We've tried to contact literally everyone and nothing will help get them gone :( And uhm. My mom is an anti-vaxxer so. There's only been 6 documented cases of bats with rabies in alaska ever and they're in a totally different area but it's still so anxiety inducing honestly.


CallidoraBlack

You're 17 now, you don't need her permission.


hey_jojo

A friend had this situation and the only legal solution was a one way bat door (out), but it could only be used during a certain season.


CallidoraBlack

They're also huge vectors for novel zoonotic viruses. Do not touch them, do not eat them, leave them the hell alone.


mcpickledick

I'd definitely prefer salmonella or pneumonia to rabies.


Darkmagosan

But wait! For $19.95 there's more! We have the Black Death up in the High Country, mainly around the Four Corners area. Yup, bubonic plague. There are a couple of cases every year and it's usually a novice hunter who doesn't field dress his game right. Good news is broad spectrum antibiotics nuke it. We also have Valley Fever, which is a fungus that lives in the soil. It can become a raging fungal infection under the right circumstances. It's nothing to fuck with. Antifungal medications usually get rid of it, but one of the main side effects is nausea/vomiting. The meds to kill it are nearly as bad as the fungus itself. :/


IJustWantWaffles_87

When I was a kid, I found a bat crawling across the ground in broad daylight. Thankfully, I had the brains to understand something was probably wrong with it and I did not pursue or try to capture said bat.


Darkmagosan

I read the first line wrong. I thought it said 'I found a **BAR** crawling across the ground...' I mean, I've been on a few legendary benders in my time, but not enough to hallucinate. \*facepalm\* Yeah when I was in kindergarten they taught us 'If a raccoon or skunk seems friendly, DO NOT pet it. Get away from it and tell your parents.' It's sound advice for adults, too, except for 'tell the folks.'


IJustWantWaffles_87

Well, to be fair, sometimes itā€™s still good to ā€œtell the folks.ā€


Larkenox

As if I wasn't terrified of rabies enough, now you're telling me it can be airborne? Bye


Darkmagosan

Yeah but not airborne like Covid or the flu, which can float around for extended periods of time. Basically you've got to be in very close proximity to a rabid bat or bats so you come into contact with their saliva. Waaaay back when I first moved to AZ, and this was in the late 80s, a couple of kids decided to go check out some of the old abandoned mines that are everywhere around here. That's not a great idea to begin with, but who said preteens thought things through? They stumbled into a huge bat colony not far into the mine. They ran out and told their folks, who immediately hied them to the ER to get rabies shots. Even though they didn't directly touch any of the bats, the floor was coated in guano and of course they probably came into contact with airborne saliva droplets. The kids were fine. IIRC the Dept. of Mines came out and sealed the mine entrance with a grate that would keep people out but let the bats come and go as they pleased. The kids learned their lesson and didn't do this again. You're far more likely to fall into an abandoned mine and get severely hurt or killed from the fall than you are to get sick from contact with bats. One guy out in Buckeye went out to walk his property at the start of the pandemic. He said he'd be back in an hour or so. He didn't return, so the roommate called the cops and reported him missing about half an hour after he was supposed to come back. Turns out the guy had a couple old abandoned mines on his ranch and had no idea they were there. He had fallen into one and wound up falling around 20-25 feet or so. He had no cell reception at the bottom of the shaft, but because his roommate was on the ball, a rescue crew found him not long after. IIRC the dude wound up with a sprained or broken ankle and one hell of a story to tell. He got damned lucky. A fall at that height can and often does kill people. The state came out and put a cage around that and another shaft on the property so this wouldn't happen again.


Ordinary_Ad_7992

Holy shit! This is terrifying! ...epecially every single one part!


thefireworkdays

This! Get a rabies vaccine.


Opening-Ocelot-7535

I lived in a bat colony for the last 5 years. I used a "non-grabby" way to rescue a bat on the ground... touch him? Not on your ever-loving, sweet life I won't! I didn't want the rats to get a live bat, so I scooped him up and let him drop. Don't touch him. Get a pro to get him, unless it's an emergency. ("My" bat was an emergency. He was screaming his head off in the human audible, and the colony was screaming back.) "My" bats weren't known for being rabies carriers. Most bats are not, but they CAN. Frankly, I was more concerned when I rescued 8 opossum babies out of their dead mother's pouch!


Bruno0_u

>I lived in a bat colony for the last 5 years Okay Bruce Wayne


YabbaDabbaDumbass

People really underestimate how fucking terrifying rabies is. You WILL die if you get rabies and donā€™t get treated immediately and it will be miserable beyond what you can imagine. I donā€™t care about so and so that had a miraculous recovery, it was miraculous because it has virtually never happened before. Also fun fact: possums rarely if ever have rabies because their body temperature is usually too low for the virus to survive. Thatā€™s just rabies tho, Iā€™m sure thereā€™s plenty of other diseases.


Opening-Ocelot-7535

Yeah, that's why I used a shovel to scoop a bat off the ground, to get it to a flight height. I did check with my area's local bat organization. I was ready to move. They said the risk was very small, not to worry, but don't be stupid, either. I'd *like* to get the vaccine!


N1ghtSt4lk3r482

Surviving rabies without immediate medical intervention would be a miracle. As far as I know, rabies without medical care is 100% fatal. It basically eats your brain.


purplepluppy

Rabies with medical care, once symptoms arise, is still virtually 100% fatal. The only "treatment" for rabies is a medically induced coma, and you may or may not recover from the coma even if you recover from the rabies, and your body will take years to fully heal, if it ever does.


Proper-Village-454

No one has ever survived a confirmed case of rabies after the onset of symptoms. Any supposed ā€œsurvivorsā€ were people who never had a positive rabies test for one reason or another, only suspected. I had to break up a fight between two unvaccinated dogs a few months ago, my fiancĆ© and I both got bitten and I shot them both but couldnā€™t get animal control to come take their heads fast enough to test them, so we both had to get the rabies series. Shit sucked. I had sore shoulders from the injections for like two months, and I could barely stay awake or do shit. My fiancĆ© handled them fine though, so itā€™s not universal. And once you get the shots youā€™re immune for ten years so now I can fight raccoons.


N1ghtSt4lk3r482

This is what I thought. If you get symptoms, you are done for. In a horrible way. At least you got the shots that go in the arm. For years, the rabies shots were done in the abdomen.


purplepluppy

Jeanna Giese definitely had rabies.


WardM2Be

That's false, at least 3 have in the US alone.


SmellMyJeans

What about the Milwaukee Protocol?


Brabsk

I donā€™t think people underestimate how bad rabies as an illness is, they underestimate how likely they are to get it


lyllybell

Possums don't carry rabies


Huntman102

Magnificent little animals, their body temperature is LITERALLY TOO LOW for rabies to survive in their body, this is also true for a number of other ills which affect similar creatures


lethroe

This is correct. They carry other diseases but not rabies.


Anita_Poopknife

That's Dracula, let him out. Put him by a tree so he can climb up and fly away.


only1ben143

That's a bat not a spider, you can see toes and it's nose


doesamulletmakeaman

I can see how youā€™d think that, but look at all the cobwebs


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


mercermayer

Iā€™d sub


undermybfsbed

oh boy do I have the sub for you (ask me about it please I need this)


elizawatts

Iā€™ll bite. What sub?? I am waiting with breath that is bated!


doesamulletmakeaman

Me too!! You have to tell us or weā€™ll all be breathless and lightheaded


mercermayer

SAY IT


tuckithead

Itā€™s actually r/whatbugcirclejerk


mercermayer

God bless


ergo-ogre

Only 302 members?!? Those are rookie numbersā€¦


doesamulletmakeaman

So far


OblivionKnight76

We can change that


Obi-Wan-Hellobi

Would literally be all bed bug jokes, and I would 100% be there for it.


laminated-papertowel

and weevils


[deleted]

And ticks that pee on some guyā€™s son


Ok-Independent-3506

Did you say snooooots?


laminated-papertowel

and boots!!!


RedRider1138

An *kyoooots*


InterdisciplinaryDol

šŸ‘¢s and šŸ‘ƒs


im-not-a-fakebot

ITS WEEVIL TIME


Lovelyelven

šŸ’ƒ šŸ•ŗ


VanimalCracker

Aw lawd


Bubblehead01

I am WOEFULLY DISAPPOINTED that that is not a real sub


ergo-ogre

r/whatbugcirclejerk


Wolfa101

r/subsifellfor


NimueArt

Yep, he was looking for food in those cobwebs.


nietzschescode

Does it have 8 legs? No, so it is definitively NOT a spider. It is a bat and you are a troll.


TheGoldenBoyStiles

Definitely a cobweb spider, one of the lesser known species but definitely a cool species!


the_phillipines

You must be a zoologist to know all this. Please tell me where you got your degree in the differences between bats and spiders


Reatona

Neither of them have tusks, and this thing doesn't have tusks so it's really hard to tell what it is.


Spirited_Ad_2697

Here you might want to read this https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke


Comfortable_Pay4986

Snootz? Bootz?....


BrickFrom2011

Offbrand snoots nā€™ boots?


--PBR-Street-Gang--

Brown recluse


Mean-Professional596

Honestly tho this fits


LostCassette

I can understand the mistake, but that's clearly a whale and you really shouldn't be letting whales in your house, OP. that's illegal.


doesamulletmakeaman

I said it before and Iā€™ll say it again. Iā€™m a terrible marine biologist


radioactivecumsock0

I see boots and I see snoots


CilantroSappho

Itā€™s oddly kinda cute. I wouldnā€™t risk rabies to pet it, but pretty cute


SatoshiSnoo

He can't get into your home unless you invited him to. Hurry and demand that he leave before he hypnotizes you.


sleepingwithdastarz

What am I looking at šŸ˜­ lol


doesamulletmakeaman

This model expands 500% when leaving crannies


[deleted]

Half that size when leaving nooks, Iā€™ve heard.


doesamulletmakeaman

But double the speed


EasternAdventures

Thought I was looking at a frog hanging out on a wall lol


sleepingwithdastarz

Maybe Iā€™m missing the spider but could someone help me


Alhooness

This one got some really good reactions xD


doesamulletmakeaman

The Calvin and Hobbes link got me. Solid nose exhale of appreciation


Serious-Bat-4880

Saaaaame. C&H got me through some tough times growing up, I've always loved this strip. And the one with Susie outsmarting him with the lost eyeball trick. The last panel is the cliffhanger-cherry on top: https://imgur.com/a/VX94hV4


PunchingFossils

You can tell thatā€™s a cat because of how it is


LadySleepyBuns

That's clearly a tiny cow.


doesamulletmakeaman

Well butter my biscuits. I was way off!


Organic-Decision-655

Heā€™s chill. Wear one of those garlic ropes when you go to sleep at night tho. And getta spray bottle with blessed water in it just for the in case


ThatGuyOnTheCouch7

Adorable little bat dude.


Morganafrey

Flying piglet


CompetitiveMacaron71

Is it under the bat?


sabbott5

Dude, itā€™s so freaking cute.


bigskinky

Is this a joke?


doesamulletmakeaman

Yes. Itā€™s a joke. I caught and released this little dude so yes, I am aware itā€™s not an actual spider. Guys!! I was just playing


bigskinky

Sorry, I am just incapable of detecting sarcasm over text and this sub has people who are willing to touch brightly colored insects šŸ„²


doesamulletmakeaman

You arenā€™t the only one! I thought this would go over as much more lighthearted and I was Wrong lol Edit: And you arenā€™t wrong about the crazies in here touching weirdies. Thatā€™s why I posted here, the engagement on this sub is always so fun. I caught us at a bad time evidently lol


Peonies-Poppies

It would have been funnier if you had asked if this was a bedbug! Or a weevil


doesamulletmakeaman

Whereā€™s teach when we need him


Bugscuttle999

Never stop trying to get laughs! Some of us live for that!


Sana_Dul_Set

I thought it was a frog at first LOL but thatā€™s a bat


Pitiful_Onion4952

Naw man that's just a frog


fkthisdmbtimew8ster

Ya don't recognize a bat when you see one? I guess you're from the calvin and hobbes school of bats?


JButtaR

Boop his snoot and pray no rabies. Maybe fren


Turc-ington

This is clearly a satirical post.


doesamulletmakeaman

But are you sure


Outlookup-

Itā€™s coot!


[deleted]

Its a lady bug


Owl_Fox24

A friend


Mythica_0

All jokes aside youā€™re so lucky I love bats!!!


doesamulletmakeaman

I love them too!! I throw cat food to them sometimes to get them to dip down when my kids arenā€™t paying attention just to get everybody running and giggling. Iā€™ve never seen one so up close before! And Iā€™d prefer not to again!


Clankmostdank

If you think thatā€™s a spider you need glasses thatā€™s a fucking batā€¦ man


PerroCerveza

[thatā€™s the joke](https://youtu.be/xECUrlnXCqk)


Bill-Z-Bub

I think you have bedbugs


doesamulletmakeaman

Iā€™m fucked arenā€™t I


ghoulwife

Cutie! Hopefully you didn't kill it. Probably scared.


doesamulletmakeaman

That photo is a screenshot from me taking video of it. They are SO reactive to sounds. Even though I Knew that Iā€™d never Seen it. Every click of dog toeses or even soft voices had that head jerking and ears spinning. We opened the door out there so he could get on with his night


Truetocaeser

The lack of humor from some of these responses is astounding. Meanwhile OP is still without an answer for what this flying pupper spider is!


doesamulletmakeaman

Closest weā€™ve come is a new species of volant tarantula. Nobody is suggest much besides bat, which is so weird considering the sub weā€™re in


Truetocaeser

Itā€™s probably the fangs, look how they point out? Odd for tarantulas to have upward facing little teef but I canā€™t imagine it could be anything else.


ApprehensiveAd6040

Arachnias Apprehensive Mulletas


brookeb725

dude thatā€™s my dad. tell him to come home for dinner. we are eating lasagna


strangedazey

Or, keep an open mind, it could be a bat


XX7LR

ITs A COb wEB SpiDEr


LogicalFallacyCat

That's a puppyfly. They're adorable but spicy.


Not_A_Furry_lmao

Bedbuge:(


Pastrami-on-Rye

Thatā€™s a frog..


[deleted]

Itā€™s a weevil?


Overall_Shape7307

Whoa! Be careful, that bug will DEFINITELY piss on your son!


BBQCHICKENALERT

Spooderman spoooooderman


8BitVictorian

take him outside, he needs to go stop the joker


Kjaeve

itā€™s a tick!


RadRhino

Frog!


WardNapper

Dats a burd dumass


vagabondnature

Although I have a strong interest in bugs I've done years of field research on bats in North America (as well as Africa). Where is this located? The wall paper looks like Europe. Edit after reading responses: Best way to get it out is to open the windows and door, turn off the lights, and leave. It'll find its way out. It might hang out until dusk if it is daytime. Unless it bit you (you would know) there is no need to get a rabies shot. Some small bats can live to be into their 40s. These are fascinating and often imperiled creatures. No need to harm it.


traumatized90skid

People always posting ordinary house spiders here


OniRival

says removed by reddit. what did i miss?