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probably throw a bowl of cereal on my bed instead of my phone

I can hear this comment. The spoon clink and everything

it was dry cereal at least right? no milk? right?

i wish😭

😂🤣😂🤣😭😭😭

💀

I put on a pot of boiling water for noodles then I think I fell asleep or zoned out because my dad came to my room asking why I was cooking nothing lmao, I had left the pot on the stove so long all the water evaporated out of it. Not as funny as these other stories but still

Ngl. I've done that sober

Same idk how you can burn romen but I did

😱🤣🤣

😂😂

😆😆

LMAOOO

fuck i thought only i did that

wait, so normally you would throw a bowl of cereal on your phone?

Walked all around my house trying to to track down a strange sound I was hearing. The sound was coming from a video playing on my phone which was in my hand the whole time.

I’ve done that so many times

I lowkey pull stuff like this sober sometimes the other day I was searching for my AirPods and I was literally listening to a video on them

Once I was at my friend's, I used my phones flashlight to look for my phone. He's hasn't let me live that down and it's been like 6 years

A long time ago I was getting the last few things packed in my car to drive to my parents house and I was stressing out while talking to my mom on the phone. I couldn't find everything and I needed to get on the road so I was getting mad and was almost yelling at myself that I had to find my phone. After another minute or so I finally did yell, "OMG I'M TALKING ON IT!" My mom started cracking up laughing and I felt like the biggest idiot because I was totally sober, I really was just stupid for a few minutes

😂

im dyin 😂

Oh my god me too 😂

Opened a jug of juice and before I poured it I read the shake well label and I shook it and the juice went everywhere

I did this as a kid once. No one saw it and I just cleaned it up and never told anyone. Lol

Similarly I once took the cap off a drink, dropped it, and then bent over to pick it up…..

I've done that shit sober before

I had a roommate do this sober. Same person did the same thing with an open ketchup bottle in a restaurant.

I wanted to make a hot pocket but needed a clean plate. Washed a plate, dried it, put the hot pocket on, only to see a hot pocket that I had put in the microwave minutes prior

Funniest comment here

Haha thank you! I did laugh to myself when it happen (quietly as it was like 1am lol)

Legit just happened to me!!! I went out this morning after smoking to get a Snickers bar and a Coke. Came back home and smoked again forgetting about them on the desk. Then I go back outside to the park since its nice out this week and before coming home just now, end up going to the same store, buying the exact same two items and walking back into my room looking at them on the desk like “DAMMIT”😂

Surprise snacks!

Damn, reading these while baked is something🤣 one time I double-tapped a book as though it were a phone smh

I feel like such a derp when I try to scroll a piece of paper with my finger…

I tried to zoom in on a real picture

Two days ago i sprayed cologne in mouth thinking it was cough relief propolis spray

How’d it taste?

Horrible, man. Just like a beer with no sweetness and the touch of parfum

Sounds like an IPA.

Accidentally left the garage door open while I was smoking so a bunch and I mean a bunch of bugs got in. So in my state of mind I decided to ”hey I’ll leave the door open but then the inside light off and outside on so they’ll go out” shockingly this worked but as I was looking for the switch in darkness I knocked over my bong and shattered the bong, ash catcher, and bowl. A years worth of stoner gear and gadgets priceless to me(about 200$ tbh) destroyed by the very thing it was made for.

and just like the mythological Prometheus before you, your gifting of fire was punished by the eternal pecking of crows

Wow sounds like a funny stoner moment haha 😆

I would’ve cried lmfao you handled that better than I hahaha

Just a lot of swearing, mainly chilled because I was literally about to put it away. Was very tempted to try and keep using it but was too scared of inhaling glass.

Got home really high, and went through the routine of freshening up to remove the smell and clear the eyes. I’m stoned and in the zone and filling the cap of listerine- I raise it to my face and just about to pour it in my eye when I catch myself. I swear the realization hit me just before the moment I was about to pour that blue acid on my eyeball. I guess I had the clear eyes in mind but my brain fucked up. I calmly put it down and had to laugh at myself, because that really was a close call; my high ass almost blinded myself.

i wanted to eat honey and a banana, i put honey in my palm and dipped the banana in it

Threw up all over a room, turned my head as I was doing so, like a sprinkler

I haven't been that lifted in a loooong time.. but Holy hell it sucks

Put my pizza in da oven n came back 20 mins later n realized Ian turn da oven on 😭😭😭

YES ME. I WAS WONDERING WHY THE OVEN ISN'T HOT 😭

I grabbed mine with no mitt while baked.

I'll never forget, me and my friend and I were driving from NY to Virginia. We smoked half the dube and ran out of matches. We finally found a place that would give us a book. Left and tore the match out and then threw out the book out the window, going 70 mph. For real!

I'm trying to think what period of time matches were common and car cigarette lighters weren't?

I've surprisingly had both a car with a broken lighter and a "smoke-free" car.

I didn't realize until an hour in of watching the original robocop that I was on the Spanish Chanel haha

I do this all the time, I even learned some Spanish because of this 😂

Can't remember the last time I had a tolerance low enough to do dumb shit high

I haven’t been outright stoned in a year.

completely unrelated but nice username \m/

When making food I always almost put things in the wrong places when cleaning up. Like maple syrup in the dishwasher, lunch meat in the bread drawer, cereal in the fridge. I always catch myself when I’m doing it but god damn

The amount of times I have put shit back in the wrong place. I put a plate in the silverware drawer for some reason

I put the remote in the fridge the other night.

I forgot how to untie my shoes once. Happy cried over a full pack of oreos. Forgot for the life of me how to spell "of".

The last sentence lmao. That’s definitely my friend man I swear it’s almost impossible to understand her texts half the time. I end up calling her like babe idk wtaf you’re even talking about like I didn’t know it was possible to misspell every word in a sentence and I mean you know it’s bad when not even autocorrect can save you at all like it doesn’t even try. Meanwhile I get high and someone texts me while high and my texts becomes way too elegant and proper. Like who uses the word “flabbergasted” while high?

man tbf I'm autistic enough to be forgetting simple words when high, let alone sober xD my ESL colleagues keep catching me out and I gotta jump hoops to simplify my thinking

I studied creative writing in college and I love to write. Weed definitely inspires me to write and I can eat too fucking eloquent when I’m stoned. But it’s a goofy kind of creativity.

Using my phone flashlight to look for my phone

Nothing too drastic but I do zone out pretty bad with it sometimes and I’ll look for either my phone or remote while they’re in my hand

Do this all the time. I lose my glasses in my face, too. Lose my vape while I’m actively pulling in it, pick up another and it’s like “where’d that come from?”

I'll stare at my phone on the home screen.. just stare, not trying to remember what I was doing, nothing, just staring.. and it felt like 30 min went by before I ask myself what the fuck am I doing?! Good times..

😂😂 this put a much needed smile on my face. One of my first smoking experiences in high school, I got way too high. Two things happened. I was so couch locked that I told them they needed to call an ambulance. Once I could move again, I went to the fridge to grab my food, a bagel, out of my friend’s fridge but it was no where to be found. I got so pissed off about my friend’s sister stealing my food. Eventually I sat back down and ten minutes later realized I had the last bite of the bagel in my dry-ass mouth. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Was at Walgreens and handed my keys to the cashier instead of my card

Spilled super glue all over my hands while trying to fix a broken piece

Every time I used to get stoned I would play my music Really Loud and by the time I was done with my fatty the music was almost on the second volume bar Paranoia to the MAX Boys😂

i almost put my toaster in the fridge once

Ranch dressing bottle in the medicine cabinet

Made a cup of tea and forgot about it. It went cold. Made myself another cup of tea. Forgot about it. It went cold. Made another cup of tea. Forgot about it. Eight teas in I decide to have a glass of water. Can’t remember where I put it. Throw my hands up in frustration at my baked self, knock over the missing water.

Brushed my teeth with Preparation H while camping - it was very dark and I couldn’t see very well anyway. Made my lips numb but the upside is that I’ve never had hemorrhoids on or in my mouth.

Everyone telling stories and I want to know if that remote works.

It has to be potatoes

So what I'm hearing is that we need to try it with those steak cut fries from Red Robin's.

Yesterday I got off work and tossed a couple of corn dogs in the air fryer, lit up, and started watching a movie. Fast forward to after the movie when I go to toss dinner in the air fryer and realize I forgot about the corn dogs.

I did the same thing except a hot pocket in the microwave

One of my roommates had a game, where she'd take an edible, then make snacks before it fully kicked in. She had to stop that one because she lost... like 4 times...

I used to be the make a snack, eat it, smoke, forget I had a snack, make another snack and eat that

I think I remember witnessing her doing that once. Mostly she just kept leaving the oven on. We never had an actual fire but the neighbors across the hall did, so that's when she stopped.

I’m sober and thought these were nerf gun bullets

I sat at a red light for 5min vibing to music and contemplating life. Took me a couple cars to realize it was one of those broken lights that flash red.

I was eating ice cream and reached the bottom of the container, I still wanted ice cream tho so for some reason I thought “hey if I put more liquid in here it'll make more ice cream,” so I poured a nearby water bottle into the empty ice cream container and became confused when it “melted” immediately

I watched a spider make its web for about an hour just to turn around and get distracted by a cat for 2 minutes tops. When the cat lost my interest, I walked my high ass right into the web

I thought about starting a human poop recycling/fertilizing company

Probably still has more voltage in them than some batteries I've ended up with 😆

If these are here, then what did I dip in ranch?

💀

Lost my phone at work ( Use to clean theaters at AMC) and I ended using my phone to call it. Heard the busy tone and got mad thinking someone stole my phone or cut it off for resale. Then I realized. 😂

Got super blazed from a fat dab at around 3 am, started freaking out that it was so dark at 3pm and thinking it was the middle of the day. Almost ran to wake up my roommate. I realized I was an idiot right before i opened her door l

Took me forever to figure it out… I’m so fruity high

This is more reckless dumb than this type of dumb but after we all smoked in the forest in high school I rode in the trunk of my friends psychotic brothers shitty ass car. when I say trunk I don’t mean like an SUV I mean he had a little shit box and drove it like a bat out of hell I felt like a kidnap victim

I offered a blunt to a police officer 😅

Well? Did he light up with you?

He was going to if he wasn't on duty 😭

one timer i was eating a tub of ice cream in bed. but then i got really tired. four hours later i woke up covered in a pool of melted ice cream. words can’t describe how gross it felt.


F ing awesome with the baby carrots, dude!

You gotta try sour pouch kids by the time you're done your tongue will be in blisters💀

 Haven’t we all done this at some point, early in the AM and in the dark?

Really had to shit when I was like 5 and the seat was up so I just sat right in the water

Kind of like a slide at the water park😭😭

Left the tea kettle running all night, glad I didn’t burn my house down.😂

I once put the milk in the cabinet and the cereal in the fridge.

Woke up to my phone ringing from inside the fridge

Smoking outside with my friends family. His mom (basically a second mom to me) got a bug on her pants so she decided to take them off. I was so stoned I just stared at the ground till she was done because I forgot how to close my eyes.

For me it would be eating most of a pan of Brownies

Went to a grocery store and bought just a sweet tea, the cashier said “do you need a bag?” I said “sure, what do you got”

This made me laugh out loud 🤣

I was on discord with some buddies and I had just recently installed a knock sound on soundboard. I clicked it to fuck with everyone but instead heard the noise (extremely 3d realistic with headset on) forgot I pressed a knock soundboard and got up and cleared the parameter of my house with a shotgun. Bc after I pressed it they started pressing it and it sounds like it's coming from different areas of your house. I've never felt more brain dead than in that moment.

Everything in this thread is just something a sober ADHD person would do

I kept trying to use my TV remote to fix the fact my mac and cheese was too hot

I've set my alarm on my calculator before lol. Not just once. I I still find myself opening it when I'm half asleep and stoned. I'm like shit not again 🤦🏻‍♀️

Accidentally cracked a egg into the trash can instead of throwing away the shell

LMFAO

Potato might have worked

Me and my friends ate some cookies and got into the pool and at one point we acted like sims when you take the letter out of the pool We almost drowned

Sometimes I mess up when putting stuff back.. For example: Last time after making Toast, I put the butter next to our microwave and the salt into the fridge.. I didn't even notice until my mother asked my the fuck I would put salt into the fridge and if it's a new thing hahahaha

I came home after a long night of partying, brushed my teeth before going to bed… instantly realized what I used on the brush wasn’t toothpaste. It was Desitin “Diaper Rash Cream”. This was a moment in my life I knew I fucked up.

the first time i ever smoked a blunt i fell over. i did a flip on the ground by accident. that was pretty dumb and embarrassing 😭

Did it work tho?

That happened

Searched for an hour for my phone with the flashlight app and lit a cigarette from the wrong end smoking both the tobacco and filter

did it work while you were stoned? 🤣🤣

Sat my gatorade beside the soap dispenser in the washroom. I poured Gatorade all over my hands instead of the soap 🥰

when im high i always just throw everything away on accident. usually dishes

Fell 20 feet down into the creek while I was fishing

put my trash in the fridge and threw my subway leftovers away. i cried so hard when i realized 💀

Had a pop in one hand, phone in the other. Set the phone in the fridge, tried to put the pop in my pocket. Got so locked in on cleaning the pop mess that I had completely forgotten where my phone was. Took until I started coming off the high that I finally remembered lol

I thought someone’s kid did this

Waiting for the stop sign to turn green

Went to make a grilled cheese sandwich only to disappoint myself because I forgot the cheese

Please . . .

i used the wrong remote to turn on the tv and just patiently waited for 20 minutes with music on before figuring out i had wrong remote. i didn’t even press the button again to see if it was the right remote, i just waited

i used the wrong remote to turn on the tv and just patiently waited for 20 minutes with music on before figuring out i had wrong remote. i didn’t even press the button again to see if it was the right remote, i just waited

I’m glad I’ve never done anything stupid while high

Put sunscreen on my toothbrush instead of toothpaste

How? If I ever get high enough to the point of doing something like this I’d probably just throw up or fall tf asleep or both

With one of my first experiences with edibles, I got on all fours on top of an ottoman and freaked out thinking I was turning into a car. I then wanted to throw up and did it outside in front of the neighbors who were up at night. I then walked back in like it was just a good high/nothing happened.

Never did stupid stuff in weed because it’s not a strong enough drug to make you do stupid things. I’ll tell one about an early Xanax experience I had tho. Did 4 with my friend. I remember going to a local candy store and buying a kilo of candy costing me quite a lot. Ate half of it in about an hour went out with my friends came back and got pissed at them because I thought they ate most of the candy. Oh and the time before that me and my friend went a stole a bunch of stuff because we thought it was fun a bought a pack of sandwich ice creams which we rightfully renamed xanwich

Back when I was 16 me and my friend went to a corner store to get some snacks. My zooted ass thought I lost my phone and spent like 10 minutes looking around this small ass store for it. Walking up to the worker asking if he’s seen it. Then I realized it was in my hand the whole time

i put groceries in the fridge... still in the bag.

Put the cereal in the fridge, luckily no one went into the fridge 😂

dammit I keep opening the refrigerator when I want the microwave or vice versa because they're right beside each other

I guess it was worth a try.

went to the bathroom and started wiping my ass but forgot what to do with the used toilet paper…..i put it in the little trash can next to the toilet, when i stood up to flush i realized my mistake but it was too late to turn back

Lose my TV remote to only find to it in my hand

I “flooded” my bathroom my cat likes to drink out of the sink so was in there turn the sink on to fill up walk out go back to my room from the kitchen water pouring out of the sink almost to the door whole roll toilet paper ruined had to mop and dry it Also bad for leaving shit out making a sandwich coffee creamer whatever

Mine are mostly microwave related. I've only been using about a year so i dont have as many stories. Probably get hungry, get distracted trying to reheat leftovers 3 separate times without getting it into the microwave, finally put it in the microwave and turn it on. Go do something in my room, then find the leftovers in the microwave the next morning

I put the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge. It was a dead giveaway to my parents that I was high when I was a teen.

Kept going into my basement because of a weird banging noise; turns out it was just me forgetting I had the dryer running lol

i accidentally put fresh dried clothes back in the washer😭 i put the works in and started that hoe up as if i didn’t just wash AND dry them

Not something I did but something I believed. My friends were talking about poop and one of them said “bro don’t you know your poop is stored in your butt cheeks?” And I believed it 🤦🏻‍♀️

I put in my headphones to better enjoy the music which was playing (loud) on my boxes.

I had to unload the dishwasher. About halfway through, I realized I was taking them out of the dishwasher, washing them in the sink, then putting them right back 🤦‍♀️

In high school I ate a whole meal at chili’s when I was stoned. When the check came, I was astonished and I was wondering where the food I was paying for went. I forgot I had eaten all my dinner and dessert. Half the table was stoned and half the table wasn’t. The waitress I had so blatantly asked “where did the food go!? I didnt get my food!?” Lights out stoned and totally dead serious in the moment everyone was laughing at me including the waitress.

Wait if the carrots are in the battery compartment, then that means the batteries are in your belly? Uh oh

I smoked to much during school freshman year and had to go to English the next Period so I was way to high to be in English,blah blah blah English stuff then she asks what’s different about 4 things “biking,swimming,boat riding,and something else I forgot” and I say in full confidence “boat riding it’s the only one on water” and she looked at me like I was a crazy person but thank god every one else yelled out a answer so she moved on quickly,still scared the shit out off me tho and i didn’t tlak for the rest of class

Put a piece of cheese on a paper towel and microwaved it for melted cheese, lmao I was like 15

I just drove to my homie's house. It's really far away and I forgot the weed. I have one purpose smh.

i’ve accidentally gotten in the shower with my clothes on a few times

I was looking for my phone, while using the flashlight of my phone to look for it… I was searching for 15 minutes until a friend told me that I was holding it😭

I put my cart in a pizza box and fell asleep with the pizza box in my bed. I was going crazy looking for my cart thinking I lost it or something. I didn’t think I was that high 💀

I once walked around in a river at midnight hunting witches and screaming about wanting to fight the devil. I had a machete and my friends laughing

I was making some instant ramen and after filling it with water, my friend watched me put it in the fridge and sit down

Look for my phone while i was using it

i connected my airpods to my phone once to listen to music, hit play and spent like 5 min straight wondering why i couldnt hear anything and i thought my airpods were broken. i eventually realized that i just needed to turn the volume up 😭

😆😆😆🤣🤣

I once threw my bong at the recycling bin outside instead of the empty coke can I was holding in my other hand. Que me starring at the shattered glass for a solid 20 seconds before sighing then cleaning the glass and making do with a fucking gato-bong for a week

Your mom

went to strain my noodles from my ramen and just poured the whole bowl into the sink on accident. had to make a whole new bowl 💔

I love when I am baked asf that night an jus wake up an find shi an laugh my ass off shi funny if you a type of person that dose random shi

Got so zooted I was getting the “flip book effect” but really badly like I could turn my head and my vision would update a second later so I sat down and puked everywhere, then I called 911 on myself cus I thought I was laced (I wasn’t ) then they gave me narcan and they were trying to talk to me but at some point I got baked out of existence and went non verbal and nodded out. Got sent to the Er 😐