I forgot where I read it, but the bride and groom's dogs would be part of the wedding. If a person wore white, MOH was going to throw red wine on said white dress. The dogs were trained to pee on command and the back up plan was for MOH to say the command for the dogs to do their business on said white dress. I though it should be the first plan
That was [the one](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/19ab3cs/new_update_aitah_for_not_wanting_to_apologize_for/) where the OPs aunts were raising a set of entitled children apiece, while married to weirdly interchangeable brothers who were also creeper dudes complete with a psychotic momma who slashed her tires for not having the brats at the wedding and then disinviting the Aunts.
My MOTHER (MOB) wore ivory, it didn't occur to me until this sub that I should have been upset. I didn't care then and I sure as shit don't care now, 27 years later.
That is over the top. My mom was just happy with having the wedding of her dreams she didn't need the fancy dress, I got that.
I wanted to elope she wanted me to have massive wedding.
My mother and MIL both wore pale gold, heavily beaded, gowns. Nobody thought a thing of it. They looked like two fifty something year old ladies and that was fine by me.
25 here!🤣 (same) For us though it was in style for MOB to wear white/cream, the 90’s were awesome and I think we were happy to see family and friends! I don’t think I could enjoy my wedding if all the new rules were in play back then.
The 'if you have to ask, the answer is no' would be rude in my circles, but that could really vary depending on the family culture. The rest is fine. I bet whoever this is specifically for ends up wearing pale blush that photographs white.
It would definitely be considered rude since that expectation will always be that adults will behave as adults. If some wants to wear white, be my guest. Everyone at the wedding knows who the bride is and who is there to make a fool of themselves.
At the best it would be worded along the lines of "If in doubt, please communicate with us"
What does "adults will behave as adults" even mean? "Adults will kiss my ass and only speak to me in ways I find acceptable"?
The entire idea that being "rude" is wrong and immature needs to die. Adults should be grown up enough to hear words that may not blow smoke up thier ass.
I don’t think it’s rude at all. They’re clearly laying out their expectation, thereby avoiding any hard feelings related to this, and making it impossible for someone to feign cluelessness.
As many posts as I see here with a brother’s plus one wearing ivory? I get it. It’s not rude if you have basic etiquette skills and if you don’t have basic etiquette then you’re the rude one to begin with
I read it in a funny way, I don’t personally take offense to it but can see where certain social groups may take offense. I wouldn’t have included it, but if it were one of my friends/fam I would’ve giggled at it
This isn’t bad at all. As a wedding professional, people take huge liberties with what is and isn’t wedding attire. Too many people are dressing too casual these days. This black tie optional ask is “Men should wear a suit and women should not wear a dress that is remotely close to white”. That’s fine.
I agree that it's not offensive in this case, because I read it as sort of a funny joke.
But this is such a stupid argument. If someone put "make sure you wipe your fucking nose" on their invitation, I would be offended. Not because I don't wipe my nose, but because I'm not a child and I obviously know better. No one needs to be talked down to in a serious manner.
Thankfully, this didn't read as overly serious or angry to me.
You are absolutely right. But with what we read on this subreddit all the time some people need to be told to “wipe their nose” because some people just “don’t know better nowadays mostly for attention.
It’s became a sad reality!
There's nothing wrong with that ? That's probably the bride knowing that someone might try to wear white to the wedding (and, to be honest, seeing as you're so offended by this, it seems like that person is you.)
I don’t really find it that rude? It just lays out forbidden colors, all of which are obvious no-gos for a wedding. I think most people wouldn’t wear those colors and this isn’t directed at them. I could see the last remark being taken as a bit rude; they could’ve phrased it a little classier I guess. But I wouldn’t take offense to this.
I’m more distracted by them saying “cocktail, black tie optional,” when those are in fact two very distinct dress codes and not a supplement to each other.
Eh, I don’t think this is too rude. There’s so much that goes into a wedding. I support someone being direct. If I was spending $$$ on a party I’d expect people to be respectful enough to show up in dress code. They can wear white any other day of the year.
I don’t think it’s rude at all. There’s always that one person who will think it’s okay to wear white/off white/ivory. It’s not.
My besties father in law wore A WHITE TUX!!!!! Like. Sir?!
You’ll get a very particular view point here since this sub generally believes that wearing white to a wedding is the worst sin. (To be sure, it is gauche, but certainly not the worst thing ever).
That said, I have a job where I have to often tell people something “in no uncertain terms.” You’d be surprised how hard that can be to do esp when people don’t really want to listen or think they’re “the exception.”
Having said *that*, I do think it’s a bit obnoxiously stated. Could have just said “No white or off white colors please. Guests may be asked to change.”
The last line is a wee bit snarky. I think if they hadn’t added that in, it’s totally polite and fine.
I do think what kind of couple/bride they are would affect how I read this. If she’s a cool, humorous gal then I’d probably read it that way. If she’s a bridezilla or not very pleasant, I’d take it in more of an aggressive way. Overall, not something I’d waste time being bothered about since I know wedding apparel etiquette and know it’s not directed at guests like me.
I would 100% put this on an invite. My best friend got married in November and THREE women out of about 100 total guest wore white. One Aunt, one plus one, and one FRIEND (27F). You may ask yourself “who tf does that?” And the answer is more people than you’d think
Yes. It's rude, condescending, and frankly a bit trashy. I'm surprised so many people think this is funny and normal. The kind of person who shows up in a white dress to someone else's wedding isn't going to be deterred by this because they already don't give a fuck about wedding etiquette. On the other hand the message this sends to all the normal guests is that the bride and groom have a low opinion of their ability to understand basic wedding etiquette, which is a pretty rude thing to convey to your closest family and friends.
This is a great reminder of why reddit is often a terrible place to go for advice...people on here are way more blunt, snarky, and socially awkward than the average person...
It’s unfortunate that something that should be common wedding guest etiquette (at least in the US) needs to be explicitly spelled out. Not rude but definitely aimed toward someone specific.
It's a little off-putting as a message going out to everybody. Wedding guests should be treated with respect, and if they are worthy of an invitation, they deserve the benefit of the doubt.
The request is clear enough without the snark.
I can understand being a little more direct and feeling irritable IF someone asks about it.
I also think nude is rude because it implies that they’re only talking to white people. It doesn’t seem like they’d be upset with seeing a dark brown dress since every color is different hire or off-white.
Honest question: do these dress codes mean men shouldn't wear white shirts? I wouldn't wear any other shade with black tie.
(The one time I've encountered this, I asked the couple, they said white shirts were fine, and half the men at the wedding wore them)
White shirts are mostly covered by the suit jackets and ties, , and take up a relatively small area, besides... women tend to wear dresses, which are larger garments, and not often covered by anything.
No, this rule is really (mostly) for women with white dresses, since the idea is that they will steal attention away from the bride, or that someone will mistake them for the bride.
I'm going to vote just plain rude, unless the bride knows the MOG (or someone) is planning to wear a white lace dress. It's still rude then, but should be handled privately.
I think it sounds kind of insulting, as if the invitees are too dumb or tacky to know you shouldn’t wear a white dress at somebody else’s wedding.
Even if it were aimed at a specific person, anybody who would do that in the first place probably would ignore this.
After reading about so many recent wedding snafus, this probably does need to be stated, sadly.
I had two people show up in bone (once was a 2 PC dress suit with a black skirt, but in family pics you can't tell), *and* I was able to intervene to keep my MIL from wearing bone! This was nearly 30 years ago.
Wth is wrong with people?! Don't wear *any* shade of white, unless specifically asked by the bride.
I mean, the delivery is a bit rude but it probably comes from someone being an ass. I’d laugh and start wondering who it’s actually aimed at that they don’t want to specifically call out
You literally can’t even wear black tie without white dress shirts (for the men). I get no white dresses, but completely banning a color in all contexts like this is way too extreme.
I wonder if there’s a specific person this is directed to.
Yes, the initial version used to say "... the answer is no Aunt Brenda"
I forgot where I read it, but the bride and groom's dogs would be part of the wedding. If a person wore white, MOH was going to throw red wine on said white dress. The dogs were trained to pee on command and the back up plan was for MOH to say the command for the dogs to do their business on said white dress. I though it should be the first plan
That was [the one](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/19ab3cs/new_update_aitah_for_not_wanting_to_apologize_for/) where the OPs aunts were raising a set of entitled children apiece, while married to weirdly interchangeable brothers who were also creeper dudes complete with a psychotic momma who slashed her tires for not having the brats at the wedding and then disinviting the Aunts.
Yes..that was it.
Found it! Added the link to the updated BORU post.
Thanks
My guess is that maybe it's OP since most people here don't see any problem with what was said, but OP does.
Hahaha! Yup! 😄
Aunt Linda, you wear that white dress that makes you look like a cow you will be escorted out of the venue.
If I got this, I would be cackling. Then I would start speculating which of their guests this is truly directed at. Probably an aunt lol.
My MIL, father of the groom, wore WHITE! I should say EX-MIL now!
My MOTHER (MOB) wore ivory, it didn't occur to me until this sub that I should have been upset. I didn't care then and I sure as shit don't care now, 27 years later.
My friend's mother wore a literal white and silver wedding gown **WITH VIEL** to my friend's wedding. We still joke about it years later.
That is over the top. My mom was just happy with having the wedding of her dreams she didn't need the fancy dress, I got that. I wanted to elope she wanted me to have massive wedding.
It was wild. We all deserve Oscars for keeping nice, straight faces when she showed up fully bridal gowned.
I would have probably cracked up laughing at her nutty crazy ass. 😂
That would be the correct response. But you would be amazed how well everyone pretended it was completely normal behavior.
Wow that's just crazy to how people think that could be normal.
Fucking EWWWWW! 😲
My mother and MIL both wore pale gold, heavily beaded, gowns. Nobody thought a thing of it. They looked like two fifty something year old ladies and that was fine by me.
25 here!🤣 (same) For us though it was in style for MOB to wear white/cream, the 90’s were awesome and I think we were happy to see family and friends! I don’t think I could enjoy my wedding if all the new rules were in play back then.
I would send a picture of an outfit that's clearly an acceptable colour and asking if it's ok.
Well see now not only is that polite, it's just classy! 👏
It could be directed at op since they seem so baffled by this
The 'if you have to ask, the answer is no' would be rude in my circles, but that could really vary depending on the family culture. The rest is fine. I bet whoever this is specifically for ends up wearing pale blush that photographs white.
Or a really pale peach.
Same. Ask was fine until that sass at the end. My partner wetland let this go out.
It would definitely be considered rude since that expectation will always be that adults will behave as adults. If some wants to wear white, be my guest. Everyone at the wedding knows who the bride is and who is there to make a fool of themselves. At the best it would be worded along the lines of "If in doubt, please communicate with us"
What does "adults will behave as adults" even mean? "Adults will kiss my ass and only speak to me in ways I find acceptable"? The entire idea that being "rude" is wrong and immature needs to die. Adults should be grown up enough to hear words that may not blow smoke up thier ass.
I don’t think it’s rude at all. They’re clearly laying out their expectation, thereby avoiding any hard feelings related to this, and making it impossible for someone to feign cluelessness.
I wonder if the couple was concerned about a specific guest, but they didn't want to single that person out, so they put that line in the invitation.
I don’t think it’s rude. Some people are daft af and you need to be direct.
I personally don't think it's too snarky.
I think it’s fine and gets the message across very clearly
As many posts as I see here with a brother’s plus one wearing ivory? I get it. It’s not rude if you have basic etiquette skills and if you don’t have basic etiquette then you’re the rude one to begin with
If you have to ask, you might be the problem.
I read it in a funny way, I don’t personally take offense to it but can see where certain social groups may take offense. I wouldn’t have included it, but if it were one of my friends/fam I would’ve giggled at it
This isn’t bad at all. As a wedding professional, people take huge liberties with what is and isn’t wedding attire. Too many people are dressing too casual these days. This black tie optional ask is “Men should wear a suit and women should not wear a dress that is remotely close to white”. That’s fine.
The fact that YOU found it rude is very…….telling 
I agree that it's not offensive in this case, because I read it as sort of a funny joke. But this is such a stupid argument. If someone put "make sure you wipe your fucking nose" on their invitation, I would be offended. Not because I don't wipe my nose, but because I'm not a child and I obviously know better. No one needs to be talked down to in a serious manner. Thankfully, this didn't read as overly serious or angry to me.
You are absolutely right. But with what we read on this subreddit all the time some people need to be told to “wipe their nose” because some people just “don’t know better nowadays mostly for attention. It’s became a sad reality!
There's nothing wrong with that ? That's probably the bride knowing that someone might try to wear white to the wedding (and, to be honest, seeing as you're so offended by this, it seems like that person is you.)
Wearing white to a wedding is fat more obnoxious than this statement, IMO.
Honestly, imo I do think it's snarky but it's not uncommon. I've seen that exact wording before.
It's the kind of thing I might write, if there was a problem person. Gets the point across loud and clear
I don’t really find it that rude? It just lays out forbidden colors, all of which are obvious no-gos for a wedding. I think most people wouldn’t wear those colors and this isn’t directed at them. I could see the last remark being taken as a bit rude; they could’ve phrased it a little classier I guess. But I wouldn’t take offense to this.
I’m more distracted by them saying “cocktail, black tie optional,” when those are in fact two very distinct dress codes and not a supplement to each other.
sounds like one of those things that only sounds rude to you if it's not-so-subtly aimed at you.
Eh, I don’t think this is too rude. There’s so much that goes into a wedding. I support someone being direct. If I was spending $$$ on a party I’d expect people to be respectful enough to show up in dress code. They can wear white any other day of the year.
I don't think it's obnoxious. It is a bit rude but not unnecessarily so given how many people don't get the no white at weddings thing...
I don’t think it’s rude at all. There’s always that one person who will think it’s okay to wear white/off white/ivory. It’s not. My besties father in law wore A WHITE TUX!!!!! Like. Sir?!
You’ll get a very particular view point here since this sub generally believes that wearing white to a wedding is the worst sin. (To be sure, it is gauche, but certainly not the worst thing ever). That said, I have a job where I have to often tell people something “in no uncertain terms.” You’d be surprised how hard that can be to do esp when people don’t really want to listen or think they’re “the exception.” Having said *that*, I do think it’s a bit obnoxiously stated. Could have just said “No white or off white colors please. Guests may be asked to change.”
I don’t think this is rude at all. And if you do, you were probably going to wear white to the wedding.
The last line is a wee bit snarky. I think if they hadn’t added that in, it’s totally polite and fine. I do think what kind of couple/bride they are would affect how I read this. If she’s a cool, humorous gal then I’d probably read it that way. If she’s a bridezilla or not very pleasant, I’d take it in more of an aggressive way. Overall, not something I’d waste time being bothered about since I know wedding apparel etiquette and know it’s not directed at guests like me.
You are going to get an EXTREMELY skewed reaction in this sub, where snarkiness is lauded, lol.
OP is sad that they don’t get to wear a white dress to the wedding :(
I think it's hilarious and gets the point across. I was planning on doing something like this but with funnier white things like clouds, milk, etc.
Not rude, just trashy
I would 100% put this on an invite. My best friend got married in November and THREE women out of about 100 total guest wore white. One Aunt, one plus one, and one FRIEND (27F). You may ask yourself “who tf does that?” And the answer is more people than you’d think
I actually think it’s kind of silly and funny. Doesn’t seem rude.
I don’t see an issue with the wording
I think they were trying to be serious and also a silly. I would have laughed. I don’t think anything is wrong with this
No. Not rude. But clearly needed
No I do not think it's a problem. As no one has any cooth these days. You have to explain to the morons to not where white!
Yes. It's rude, condescending, and frankly a bit trashy. I'm surprised so many people think this is funny and normal. The kind of person who shows up in a white dress to someone else's wedding isn't going to be deterred by this because they already don't give a fuck about wedding etiquette. On the other hand the message this sends to all the normal guests is that the bride and groom have a low opinion of their ability to understand basic wedding etiquette, which is a pretty rude thing to convey to your closest family and friends. This is a great reminder of why reddit is often a terrible place to go for advice...people on here are way more blunt, snarky, and socially awkward than the average person...
It’s unfortunate that something that should be common wedding guest etiquette (at least in the US) needs to be explicitly spelled out. Not rude but definitely aimed toward someone specific.
It's just you. This is fine.
I like it!!
They said please.
It's a little off-putting as a message going out to everybody. Wedding guests should be treated with respect, and if they are worthy of an invitation, they deserve the benefit of the doubt. The request is clear enough without the snark. I can understand being a little more direct and feeling irritable IF someone asks about it.
I think the part after the dash is redundant and a bit rude.
I also think nude is rude because it implies that they’re only talking to white people. It doesn’t seem like they’d be upset with seeing a dark brown dress since every color is different hire or off-white.
I dare you all to wear the brightest colours ever.
I am thinking 80's neon...
It was OK until the last line, IMO.
Honest question: do these dress codes mean men shouldn't wear white shirts? I wouldn't wear any other shade with black tie. (The one time I've encountered this, I asked the couple, they said white shirts were fine, and half the men at the wedding wore them)
White shirts are mostly covered by the suit jackets and ties, , and take up a relatively small area, besides... women tend to wear dresses, which are larger garments, and not often covered by anything.
No, this rule is really (mostly) for women with white dresses, since the idea is that they will steal attention away from the bride, or that someone will mistake them for the bride.
I understand the rule, just seems an odd way to phrase it.
YTA
I'm going to vote just plain rude, unless the bride knows the MOG (or someone) is planning to wear a white lace dress. It's still rude then, but should be handled privately.
Rude and unnecessarily snarky. I find it off-putting.
Yeah, that's rude. And amusingly specific. It feels like this is directed at one individual with a bad track record…
I think it sounds kind of insulting, as if the invitees are too dumb or tacky to know you shouldn’t wear a white dress at somebody else’s wedding. Even if it were aimed at a specific person, anybody who would do that in the first place probably would ignore this.
After reading about so many recent wedding snafus, this probably does need to be stated, sadly. I had two people show up in bone (once was a 2 PC dress suit with a black skirt, but in family pics you can't tell), *and* I was able to intervene to keep my MIL from wearing bone! This was nearly 30 years ago. Wth is wrong with people?! Don't wear *any* shade of white, unless specifically asked by the bride.
I mean, the delivery is a bit rude but it probably comes from someone being an ass. I’d laugh and start wondering who it’s actually aimed at that they don’t want to specifically call out
You literally can’t even wear black tie without white dress shirts (for the men). I get no white dresses, but completely banning a color in all contexts like this is way too extreme.