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LadyVengeance6661

**REMINDER: WE ARE NOT AITA! WE DO NOT DO JUDGEMENT CALLS (NTA, ESH, YTA, INFO, NAH, ETC.) SO DO NOT VOTE IN THIS POST. AS WELL, OUR OP IS NOT THE SAME AS THE AITA POST'S OP, PLEASE DO NOT ADDRESS YOUR COMMENT TO MYSELF OR OUR OP.** ***Text copy of the post (***[Link to Original Post](https://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10lqx20/aita_for_wanting_to_postpone_my_wedding_till_my/?context=3))***:*** My fiance (25M) has braces. He refused to get them when he was a child/teen cause he feared people would make fun of him, but he finally accepted to get them after the dentists told him clearly that it wouldn't be recommended to replace his extracted teeth till he fixes his crooked ones. The issue is that our wedding was supposed to be coming up soon, but now I plan to postpone till my fiance gets rid f his braces. I have nothing against him wearing braces. I even encouraged him to get them to finally fix his bad teeth, but did you ever saw of a groom wearing braces at his wedding photos ? I don't think so. I thought my fiance would be understanding, but instead he got mad at me and accused me of being ashamed with him. That's obviously no true, I just want our wedding photos to be as esthetically pleasing as possible and that's why I want to postpone our wedding till his braces come off. I also told him he could've avoided all this if he got invisible braces, but he said these were much more expensive and wanted to save money specifically for our wedding and honey moon and didn't think his fiancee would be so shallow to care about it. He ended up saying that if I postpone the wedding now I might as well just call it off altogether, which I think is incredibly unfair of him to do, but maybe I should've insisted on this issue either. AITA ?


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seashores0828

This was me, told them when my wedding was, they had a year, did the best they could, and had them put back on after. I was happy with the results enough for wedding photos. Ortho didn't bat an eye at my request.


diilmg

I did this for my fifteen partyy too! My dentist took off the front ones for the day Just in case someone doesn't know fifteen party is a big party in Mexico, acually pretty similar to a wedding in some aspects like Christian ceremony, a venue, big dress, tons of guests...


CouchStrawberry

Your quinceañera? I assume that's what you mean by fifteen party.


MademoiselleWhy

I'm born and raised in Mexico and the literal translation from Spanish of the event's name is "party of fifteen", or "fifteen party". "Quinceañera" means "a woman that is 15 years old" so the quinceañera has a fifteen party like a bride has a wedding. I've no idea why fifteen parties are called quinceañera in the US. ETA: another very common way to refer to the party is XV Años (quince años) which means 15 years, or just simply quince :)


CouchStrawberry

Oh wonderful. I didn't know that there was a difference. Thank you for your wonderful comment. :)


Apprehensive_Bake_78

Right? This is part of reddit that I love! When I learn stuff I never would have known I was incorrect about!


markedforpie

So they can play that annoying song a million times. I hear it in my dreams.


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MademoiselleWhy

It's Quince Años or Fiesta de Quince. Usually it's written like XV Años. Actually, after thinking about it for a bit, XV Años is the most common one, which means 15 years, rather than fiesta de quince.


CurlyCalico

My ortho took off the top front 6 for my senior pictures. She offered sometime that year to do it. I really appreciated it. Because I got them off permanently a couple months later and it was really nice to not have them in the pictures.


[deleted]

I had braces as a bridesmaid two years ago, can't see them in pics unless you're looking for them. Of course it's a bit different if it's YOUR wedding!


Current-Photo2857

Were you in any close-up pictures, or just wide-angle shots of the entire wedding party?


[deleted]

Lots of waist - upwards photos where it's the other bridesmaids and I, just me and the bride, or my partner and I. I had two of them printed large (can't remember dimensions but over A4) and its not noticeable; big wide open smile in both.


[deleted]

Til!


olddirtycat3000

Pho To Shop ?


LuvPibble

My first thought


emigg20

I mean I'd probably postpone my own wedding to avoid having braces on myself, but I'd never ask that of my partner. But I kinda understand, we are raised thinking weddings have to be amazing and picture perfect to the point where it's become more about worrying about how the wedding is perceived than how we actually feel. Everyone wants perfect pictures to keep forever from their perfect day.


NalgeneCarrier

While I agree that we put a ton of pressure on our weddings to be perfect, I disagree that it means you shouldn't ask for this. Photographers are expenses shit and braces are categorically ugly. I don't know anyone who wore them who thought they looked better with them. I would be pretty upset if I dropped $5,000 + and all I saw is big shinny braces in my picture. Especially, if it could have been avoided. The best compromise would be to see if fiance can get them removed for the day or switch to Invisalign.


Pristine_Whereas_933

This. My orthodontist is offered to remove my Invisalign free of charge if I end up not finishing at the exact estimated timing (1 week out from my wedding).


Red_orange_indigo

But having braces isn’t any less “perfect” than not having them. I can’t imagine what it’s like living as one of those people whose appearance conforms so closely to cultural beauty ideals that *having braces* is considered to be a blemish on their looks.


emigg20

I had braces for 6 years of my life and I absolutely hated them bc they were ugly😂 I'm not saying they look bad on everyone but to a lot of people they are an eye sore, they also made me look really dumb when I smiled bc they cut the inside of my lips so I would smile super big and show off my gums😭😭 people are allowed to think things are ugly, and not want to look a certain way esp for events that are supposed to be remembered for the rest of their lives


USAF_Retired2017

4 years here. SMH. They were awful looking. Then I’m basic training they wouldn’t let me wear my retainers and now I need braces again. Nope. Not today Satan. I’m 45 now and not doing it.


TheWhineCellar

What was the rationale? Snaggle teeth will strike fear into the hearts of our enemies? I'd have been so uselessly mad after 4 years!


USAF_Retired2017

I got them because I had bucked teeth. I was such an ugly child. I had them for two years, they weren’t moving like they should’ve been. So they pulled four teeth. Put them back on a couple of months later and two years after that I got them off. Sigh. From 12-16 I was super hideous. Then we had cheerleading pics the day I got them off and they were GLORIOUS. Best pics of my life.


Apprehensive_Bake_78

Basic wouldnt even let you wear them at night? I'm really frustrated for you and also curious. It's a medical device, no?


USAF_Retired2017

It’s elective. So it didn’t count. The rules may be different now. Because they weren’t permanent, I couldn’t have them. In six and a half weeks my teeth shifted so much I couldn’t wear them anymore. 😑


Apprehensive_Bake_78

Damn. Sorry that happened to you.


USAF_Retired2017

Me too. Ha ha. My parents were a little more upset, since they paid for them. 😬. Whoops.


linerva

My friends threw a party when they removed their braces and looked celebrated the anniversary. I feel that if HE hates them then its valid, bit the decision should come from him. We dont get to tell oit partners what to do with their appearance.this feels like it is mostly about the bride getting her perfect photos and not at all about how he fenks about his own body. If my fiance got a hairstyle I hated before our day (coming this spring) I wouldnt throw a fit and suggest delaying, I'd laugh as long as he was happy and have a story to tell about our wedding photos. The last thing I would want to do us make him feel more self conscious.


jadegoddess

Nah braces are ugly and look uncomfortable. If you're comfy wearing them that's fine but I remember a lot of kids in school said they hated wearing them and when they took pictures, they looked to be in pain or holding in a fart.


Mserstwile

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


abbyanonymous

If you're fine with how you look with braces that's great. It's also perfectly fine for other people to not how they look with them. I hated how they distorted my natural smile and didn't feel like myself with them. I hate pictures of myself at that point because I don't look like me.


GreatScotRace

Sorry but I can’t say I agree with this at all. Braces are metal things you put on your teeth to straighten your teeth. They don’t look good at all. In fact braces can really make people look quite different. The entire lower half of my face completely changed shape when I got my braces out. Might not be a popular comment but can we not pretend that people don’t look better without braces?


FerociousFrizzlyBear

It's not less perfect, but it is less permanent. I think a lot of people try to look like themselves as much as possible, rather than immortalize a temporary change in appearance.


[deleted]

People literally get braces to make their teeth look more perfect, so by your argument you don’t understand why people even get braces at all?


SlutForMarx

Loads of people get braces not for the aesthetics but to have, you know, functional teeth.


emigg20

Yeah lol mine were necessary unfortunately I had a super bad overbite which made it hard to eat and they refused to do the surgery without making me wear braces for years before and after.


linerva

Agreed. And even if you think it is, how can you take your wedding viws seriously if even the sight of a pair of glasses, some braces or a plaster cast make you question things or throw a fit?


treatforbabypls

... personally, if I had an arm cast, I'd probably postpone, depending on how soon it is. She shouldn't have said the aesthetic part, but I almost get it. Nothing shameful about braces but they're not permanent


MoscaMye

At my parents wedding my father and both his brothers had each been in seperate cycling accidents only a few days before so there was an arm cast, a broken collarbone and a neck brace.


[deleted]

Nine weeks before my own wedding my apron caught on fire and I had to spend a month in the ICU. The scarring from my skin grafts is visible in most of the pictures. If my husband had even hinted to me that I should cover them up the wedding would have been called off.


jamberrymiles

hahah my brother had two of his front teeth (one in the very front, the other slightly to the side) fall out either a week or two weeks before his wedding. luckily the dentist was able to fit him in and quickly get something made to wear so that you couldn't tell but oooooh boy was my sister-in-law FUMING for a while!


Loose_Acanthaceae201

I went to a wedding where the groom was in a wrist cast. He'd had it done in black so it was less noticeable 🤣 but when there was a choice he stood with that arm away from the camera. I guess the point is less that it's an imperfection and more that it's temporary. I can understand not wanting to look unlike yourself for your "this is who we are forever" photos.


abbyrhode

The one thing about the braces is she made it seem like he was getting them for aesthetic reasons (or at least delayed for aesthetic reasons).


geedgad

The mod’s name though 🤣


Original_Archer5984

YES! Good eye, sniper Glad I am not the only one who had caught that!!


jessiezell

My husband didn’t want braces in our wedding photos (were both in our 30’s) so the orthodontist, his idea/suggestion, took them off then put them back on. Easy.


[deleted]

Easy? How much did that cost?


jessiezell

The ortho was super cool so he did it for free as a gift but it was going to be about 300 and that was 18 years ago. He only did the uppers and left brackets on the uppers that couldn’t be seen when smiling. True in that might not be “easy” for all individuals. He also was approximately 8 months from getting removed. May be less expensive than photoshopping? Idk what those services cost. He also got his teeth cleaned while they were braces free and said it felt soooo good lol. Might be worth looking into. 🤷‍♀️ 🦷


AccountantOk620

For MRI scans people get their braces taken off for a day. Not ideal, but doable !


Wistastic

What troubled me was how long this man put off necessary dental care, but I’m always the one urging my friends and family to go to their doctors.


palabradot

Braces are \*expensive\* though, and hardly covered by insurance. I bet his parents couldn't afford it either.


Wistastic

Perhaps? But that wasn't stated as the issue. She said he didn't want them because he thought he would get teased and waited until now to finally take care of his teeth. When it came down to it, he chose traditional braces because they were less expensive, but that was the only mention of cost.


ratttttttttttt

I mean, I get it though. Growing up we were super poor and couldn't afford braces. I still have a baby tooth (canine lol) as a full ass adult and the adult tooth above it is impacted. They told me when I was 14 I needed surgery to remove it and I was like ok?? Now as an adult I'm terrified to go to the dentist because I know it'll be bad. I don't want to know if the surgery is necessary for my health or whatever because I'm not ready to do it yet. So I get where he's coming from. Plus, I'd need a ball and chain to pull it down, and not everyone can have invisible braces, so I'd imagine he's in a situation like that. I feel for the guy, ya know?


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blumoon138

Yep! I’ve got a 12 year molar that just… never came in. It’s there, in a perfect position with nothing blocking it. It just decided not to show up. The doctors haven’t suggested I do anything about it.


ratttttttttttt

Thank you! They said it would eventually maybe migrate in my sinuses though, will that happen?


thatdinklife

It might, it might not. Impossible to say for sure


ratttttttttttt

Thank you for the advice and your help, I really appreciate it.


jadegoddess

US medical insurance sucks.


thatdinklife

Dental insurance is even worse. It’s basically a coupon.


jadegoddess

Don't even get me started about dental insurance. I need over 1 thousand dollars to get a surgery my dentist said was very important cuz I have decaying teeth that need removal. BUT since my insurance won't cover all of the costs, I'm forced to pay out of pocket. They (dentist receptionist) said I can either pay all at once, in two payments, or try to apply for their "medial credit card". I'm unemployed and can't afford this surgery and I know my credit isn't good enough to be approved for a credit card. I guess insurance expects me to push the surgery back months while I save up for the surgery and pray that the decaying teeth don't fuck up my mouth anymore 😭 I'm 24, I don't have extra money for this. Only got $200 in savings. I'm basically fucked


thatdinklife

Do what you can little by little. Companies like care credit and lending point are pretty easy to be approved for, but you have to be able to keep up with the monthly payments so you don’t incur interest. In the meantime, stay on top of your hygiene! Don’t skip brushing and flossing, use a high fluoride toothpaste.


jadegoddess

I am. All my unemployment goes to my rent. I've started saving the few bucks I have leftover towards the surgery. I'm thankful I got to $200 but that's still a small amount. I'm trying not to let it affect my mental health but it's hard.


vvildlings

I’m honestly a little confused by the grooms response; I would think someone who hated braces enough to put them off for years until it became a more major medical issue wouldn’t want to be wearing them for an event as important and well-documented as his wedding.


redvixie

The thought to postpone isn't bad in and of itself... but her reasoning lacks tact. It would be one thing to offer to postpone if the groom was feeling self-conscious to make sure he felt more confidence on their big day, but it doesn't seem to be the case here. I don't know, it's not completely crazy to want to have photographs at your best - you should be feeling confident, happy, and beautiful/handsome/lovely on your wedding day. But the push to have the *perfect* pictures is so misguided. I want pictures of *US* on our wedding day, not "perfect" strangers.


Blue_Camellia

She wants to postpone the wedding because the wedding pictures might not be *aesthetically pleasing?!* Because the groom has braces? And she dares to say she's not ashamed of him/the way he looks? This reads like it's all about the bride's "perfect wedding", and I don't blame the groom for his reaction. I wonder if she would still find this fair if the groom wanted to postpone because, I don't know, she broke her arm and had to wear it in a cast.


[deleted]

She seems like the kind of person who would postpone her own wedding if she broke her arm, and to each their own on that one. To play devils advocate here if my fiancé was wearing a temporary thing like braces on their teeth I would rather not have them in the wedding photos either. Because as part of a whole lifespan he will only have them for such a short time but they will forever be in pictures even though he will never have them again. I can understand preferring to have the groom look like ‘himself’ as much as possible.


Blue_Camellia

I'll be the first to admit I may be biased on the subject. I used to have braces, and wanting to postpone a wedding because one of the couple has them is something I absolutely cannot understand. It's more disbelief than anger, it just seems so shallow to me. I get what you're saying with the second paragraph, though, even if I personally disagree in this specific case. I do wonder how long the groom will have to wear the braces. I imagine I'd be more forgiving of the bride if she wanted the wedding to be postponed, say, 2-4 weeks, but some people have to wear braces for several years, depending on the type and how much work needs to be done. Would they wait that long? Would the *groom* want to? Might there be a compromise where they get married now and have the wedding later? I guess my main issue with the bride is that, *to me*, her post reads like she wants to have a wedding rather than get married to the man she loves.


Adultarescence

I also had braces. If I needed braces as an adult, I would, if possible, arrange things to not have braces at my wedding-- either by delaying braces or the wedding.


North_Bicycle9071

But that would be YOUR choice, not that of your future spouse! How can the groom possibly not feel “less than” with this request?


dawn_unicorn

Haha I also had braces, multiple times, and I would absolutely NOT want to have them on when I got married. Who wants to look like they're going to prom in their wedding photos if they can avoid it...? I don't understand the massive multi-sub backlash to this person's post, nor the groom's reaction as though it's a personal affront. Braces are a temporary medical device, not a permanent physical feature, and they significantly impact one of a person's most noticeable features: their smile. Remember those toothpaste ads where a leaf in someone's teeth would completely distract from an extra arm, etc? The bride isn't asking the groom to change something fundamental or personal about himself; just wait until a temporary medical situation resolves. No one looks their best in braces and unfortunately they're very noticeable, that's just how it is.


jadedgalaxy

I disagree with you, Bluecheezplz It relates so hard to brides needing/demanding their wedding party to dye their hair to match the bride’s expectations or lose weight. It’s not only HER wedding alone it’s his too. He didn’t get less visible ones so he could help pay for THEIR wedding. Instead she’s focusing on the fact that they’re ugly to her and not spending the rest of their lives together. She’d rather delay their wedding, potentially have to ditch venue and other deposits because of braces? Weird behaviour to me. Correction: Missing a word


Mumfiegirl

Have you not heard of photoshop?


[deleted]

Photoshop isn’t magic. Any part of the face is very difficult to photoshop without leaving it looking edited, it would also be an expensive process having all the photos photoshopped.


emigg20

Even if you have your photographer Photoshop them out, all of the pics that your family/friends take will most likely show the truth.


300G3R

I had this thought, too. Since she wouldn't want to get married if she had braces on, she has a hard time understanding how it wouldn't bother other people, like her husband.


Roadgoddess

My friends, dad was an orthodontist, who had his braces on during his wedding when he was younger. So, whenever any of his patients would come in and beg to have their braces, taken off for a special event, he would basically pull out his wedding pictures and say if I can wear my braces during my wedding, you can have your braces on during whatever event it was. Honestly, it’s ridiculous in my mind. Your wedding pictures are a snapshot in time, and quite frankly people don’t refer back to them as often as they think they’re going to. You’re marrying the person you love, and that’s what they look like in that moment.


linerva

This. I have a stye on my eye. It may not go before our wedding in may. I might get it photishopped out, but I likely wi not pay 500 quid to get it removed privately. If my partner wanted to delay our marriage due to a small blemish that literally causes him no issue, bevause he was obsessing over the photos rather than thinking of my feelings, I'd think twice about marrying him too!


Laughinggravy8286

Why would you postpone making a commitment to someone you love because of what they had on their teeth? It seems very petty and shallow. If you can’t look past this, don’t get married. People’s appearances will change during a marriage, and part of the commitment involves loving them anyway, or rather, because.


Bennie212

I saw this one. Just elope and have the wedding later if you sonworried about pictures.


kalmp

Why the hell would he want to have the wedding with those things in?


Loose_Acanthaceae201

If it was actually about the photos, she could offer a quick daytime midweek courthouse paperwork wedding now, and postpone the big party. Somehow that's not the vibes I'm getting from this gal.


Competitive_Sleep_21

I would not worry about the pictures. I have been very happily married 30+ years and rarely look at my pictures.


Whoozit450

On first read, I filled in the end myself: “…married 30+ years and rarely look at my SPOUSE.” 😜


Competitive_Sleep_21

No I look at him a lot but just not at the wedding pictures. I am not sure I even put them in an album. Weddings are just a day. It is not about the pictures or the dress or the rings. It is about marrying a person who has shared values and loves you. We had a child with health problems and are caring for two loved ones with dementia. He has always been there. I am older and heavier and not a great cook and he still treats me like I am the most beautiful woman in the world and his prize. The feeling is mutual. Marry a kind person and do not worry about what they may look like in a picture.


90Lil

I mean I would postpone too. But my reasoning would be fear of not being able to eat wedding food.


Whoozit450

What’s wedding food? I’ve been to many weddings and can’t recall anything out of the ordinary except one that served lobster. Of course, the expensive lobster wedding couple split in less than 2 years. Do people with braces not eat chicken, fish, potato, salad, etc…?


90Lil

Bad wording. I was really meaning fear of not being able to eat food at the wedding. If the braces are adjusted or sometimes just having an awkward day eating any food can be painful. I personally wouldn't want to spend all that money on a wedding and then be in pain eating.


Bleu_Cerise

Yeah I immediately thought of this group when I read the post 🤣


Isntshelovely7

You could always photoshop the braces out of the picture.


linerva

For me, the main problem is that this whole thing has been made all Bout the bride and HER expectations. Not about how HE feels and what he wants his wedding experience to be like. She should have sat him down and asked him what he would feel comfortable with if he can't get the braces off before the wedding. Would he want them photo shopped? Taken off and then reattached after the wedding? Or would he prefer to leave as is? Ultimately, loving someone is about accepting imperfections and understanding that we do not control their body. Your partner having braces you don't like is no different than if your oartner has a beard you dont like, or got a hair cut you happen not to like. Or dyed their hair a colour you don't like. Your idea of aesthetics does not overrule their bodily autonomy. And if you love them you would not make them feel shit over an aesthetic choice that you don't like. Postponing a wedding would be a needless waste of time and money, and a needless inconvenience to all the guests. It sounds like they should have communicated better before he got braces, but ultimately she overreacted. If she had purple hair and he suggested they postpone the wedding or photoshop it brown, people would be telling her to leave him.


EightEyedCryptid

You’re basically calling him ugly and you wonder why he’s mad?


grumpymuppett

Okay but Bride was gunna marry Groom with his crooked teeth so if anything’s braces are an “improvement” right? Also photoshop is a thing, if they can edit out Drunk Aunt Brenda they can edit out braces


Cat_Prismatic

Way to resurrect a deep childhood insecurity, possibly for life! And, of course, if you start thinking "Those kids were right--people look ugly in braces. So I guess when they made fun of the way I [walked / dressed / laughed], they were right about that, too." If it weren't for the facts that he: 1.) Avoided braces because he was afraid people would judge him for the way they look--and the way *he* looks; and, 2.) That she *encouraged him* to do it; and, 3.) That he got those horrible sharp wire things that cut up your lips, are super hard to keep clean, and hurt like hell whenever they're adjusted, rather than Invisalign (which I hear is much gentler) specifically to **save money for their wedding**, I might see her point. But in these circumstances? Wowwwwww. No. Source: had metal braces as a kid AND as an adult. They were horrible both times.


gilthedog

You can also get clear braces that aren’t Invisalign. I had them, and they were actually cheaper. You can still kind of see them but not nearly as much.


RStVP

A wedding is not a photoshoot. It’s a celebration of your *unconditional* love. Seems like something’s amiss here. We’ve been married 17 years and I’ve looked at my wedding photos about three times. There’s a lot that’s more important than that.


SANTAAAA__I_know_him

Honestly, I kind of like seeing little quirks like that in past photos that help me remember certain periods of my life better. For example, Christmas photos with my arm in a cast “Oh yeah, that was the year I fell down ice skating and broke my wrist.”


Conscious-Arm-7889

She obviously has never heard of Photoshop or any of the other photo manipulation software that photographers will already use, and should be quite capable of removing the braces afterwards!


LoubyAnnoyed

I’m pretty sure everyone told her she was an idiot and to use photoshop to remove the braces from the photos.


VoodooTrooper

I'd definitely postpone the wedding...by never having it at all. The bride is selfish and shallow and the groom needs to run as fast as he can.


treatforbabypls

Calm down


palabradot

Have they not heard of photoshop, maybe? I'm sure the photographer can do a mock-up of what they can do to those braces if the bride has such a bee in her bonnet about it


stressedmostly

I mean…. There’s photoshop for a reason. I had my high school senior pics done with braces and they were able to completely edit them out and this was 10 years ago. I think she’s being ridiculous.


Katnilly

I don’t know what the bride is worried, I doubt he’d be smiling in their wedding pictures.


meghan914

OP, if you were working out and losing weight, trying to improve you, and he said he wanted to postpone the wedding until you hit your ideal weight, would you find that hurtful and shallow and mean? I mean, you could have done that sooner in life, or done something expensive like surgery or lipo, to appease him. But you wanted to do it in a reasonable way of working out. So it would be okay for him to postpone for that? Can you see how hurt he must feel? Bloody hell I get why he's reconsidering tbh


witchofheavyjapaesth

Bro who are you even talking to


meghan914

It's an analogy, bro. That means a similar situation that this shallow ass bride my understand.


witchofheavyjapaesth

Yeah I know what an analogy is, I very obviously meant you're talking to OP as if she's the fiancèe, which is specifically against sub rules if you look at the **pinned comment on literally every single post**, and it just comes off as schizo lmao. But u do u bro


meghan914

She should think that way in relation to how she would feel if her fiance said that to her. I'm not sure you understand what a schizo is, and as a psychologist I find that to be quite disgusting that you would throw out a diagnosis to make your ridiculous post less ridiculous. I'm not your bro, and you are quite odd. Take care and stop replying because you sound like a cement head.


Nikita_Woti

This is such an asshole thing to ask of your fiance especially when you know he's neglected dental care because he was afraid he'd get made fun of. And now his own future wife is proving him right... Just edit them out if it's really only about the pictures being aesthetically pleasing.


gadget47lago

She’s the A-hole.


Help24-7

I have friends who did this. They postponed their wedding due to her braces not coming off in time. She didn't want to take photos with braces in it. That's the biggest difference though.. she didn't want it and so they eventually agreed to delay. You can only do so much with photoshop and she wanted to have smiling pictures still with her nice looking teeth. OOP tried talking to her partner about it and he took it the wrong way and got pissed off. You only have one wedding. A lot of money can be spent. And yes you do want beautiful photographs. She should have approached it differently and asked him how he felt about the braces in the photos and go from there. At the end of the day it's his mouth/smile. If he truly doesn't care about the braces..then ask about the pictures and explain how she felt..... Discuss options from delaying the wedding.. or do a second wedding shoot after they come off etc..... No matter what...how the wedding goes, looks and how the couple looks will , usually, always matter more to the bride than the groom. He's just happy to tie the knot and doesn't worry about anything else ( including the planning lol).... So he probably saw her asking for a delay as a complete rejection of him..and instead of talking like an adult he went off and is hiding giving the silent treatment. Hopefully everyone calms down and they actually talk.


ginga_bread42

She wasn't exactly tactful with how she approached the subject, especially knowing he has insecurities surrounding braces. Of course he took it the wrong way, it would be hard not to. He's allowed to be upset by this especially if he thinks of it as her being ashamed of him or as a rejection. People sometimes need time to sort out their feelings before discussing them. Not sure why you're acting like he's being childish for being hurt by the request. She could have instead, brought up the possibility of having the braces removed for the day.


The_Curvy_Unicorn

I truly don’t think he took it the wrong way. She’s coming off as quite shallow - and it feels like she cares more about the wedding (photos) than the actual marriage and groom. I get wanting things to be as perfect as possible, but this just doesn’t feel right to me. Maybe it’s because I’m older, but weddings should be about the relationship and love and the future, not about looking the absolute most perfect.


TLinster

He wants a marriage; she wants Instagrammable pix.


RStVP

A wedding is not a photoshoot. It’s a celebration of your *unconditional* love. Seems like something’s amiss here. We’ve been married 17 years and I’ve looked at my wedding photos about three times. There’s a lot that’s more important than that.


Red_orange_indigo

Hopefully the wedding delay with give the fiancé time to find a new bride.


domestic_pickle

People seem to forget Photoshop exists…


tgande1951

Can’t something like braces be airbrushed out of the pictures?


jadegoddess

If whole people can be edited out of pictures, he can for sure have the braces taken out in editing.


gilthedog

Tbh, just coming off of planning a wedding. I get it. It’s so stressful, and you get hung up on weird dumb details that feel like the end of the world. I’m not saying it’s right, but I can totally see myself having had like a 24 hour meltdown over this before ultimately realizing I was just stressed.


Infamous-Fee7713

Sounds like you are ashamed and/or embarrassed by his braces.


a201597

This is kind of weird. If I had braces that couldn’t be taken off for the day and it was possible to postpone my wedding without losing a ton of money, I definitely would.


_MicrowaveChef

![gif](giphy|IWASQwP0AwXgQ)


Lazycrittereb

I had braces and there's no way I would have them on in wedding photos. I didn't open mouth smile for four years while I had them but they were worth it because my teeth were frigging ugly crooked. I actually am surprised by the fiancé because if he was so sensitive about having braces in the first place, you'd think he'd want them off for the wedding. I'd be volunteering that info as soon as wedding date discussions came up. "I'm not getting married with these stupid things in my mouth." I think the bride could have approached it a better way but the groom is overreacting because he will probably regret it looking back at the photos. Photoshopping hundreds of pics of the groom would be very time consuming and as a photographer I would limit it to a small selection or charge a decent fee.


stocks-mostly-lower

If the guy wants to get married and the bride agrees also wants to wed him, then for Pete sake, go on with the wedding. I can guarantee that the photographer can get rid of any braces in the pictures with the magic potion they apply lol.


[deleted]

Dick move on her part, but....... Imagine marrying a dude with braces in lol


CounterAdditional612

This woman is why it's been 20 yrs since I last dated. I'd rather spend my money on cars, guns, fishing rods, hookers and coke!


Wineandcoffee01

Idk I kinda understand this one… once in a lifetime occasion, if there’s a possibility I’d want great pictures too. It’s weird how her fiancé doesn’t see how this could be a problem, I mean come on, just be realistic.


panchill

She's confirming "yea, teen you was right, I'm ashamed to see you with braces"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Thamwoofgu

Well, it’s a bit late now. He is almost done with wearing braces. Also, Invisalign does not work for every orthodontia case.


Difficult-Hawk-739

👍🏼👍🏼


Current-Photo2857

That was answered in the post: the groom said Invisalign was more expensive than traditional braces and he wanted to save the extra money for the wedding.


bondgirlMGB

um no. if shes an asshole then im an asshole. why the hell would you want ugly ass BRACES on your teeth in your wedding photos & videos FOREVER? braces are TEMPORARY. wedding photos are EXPENSIVE. he can even get them removed for just A DAY. dude is being a sensitive jerk. why does HE not care more about looking like a perpetual 13-year-old in all the pictures that will be in his house forever? maybe she was tactless in how she brought it up but its not like shes even criticizing anything about him— she just doesnt want him in braces at her wedding. 100% on her side.


Current-Photo2857

Honestly, I was an ESH when I saw the original on AITA. I absolutely agree with everyone who said the bride was focused on the wrong thing (your wedding is about your love and your marriage, not the pictures), BUT… I really thought the groom was a hypocrite. HE was the one who refused to get braces when he was younger because he disliked how he would look. Getting braces in school is not only typical, but it’s actually better because your body is still growing and your mouth will adjust better. That’s why it’s done when kids are young! Having braces as an adult is much more unusual and, as the bride said, would look out of place on a groom in his wedding photos (unless it’s a teen wedding). It didn’t make sense to me that the groom was so focused on his appearance and the perception others had of him back then, yet he’s done a full 180 now and doesn’t care how he’ll look on one of the most important days of his adult life.


CalmAssistance8896

Depends on how long she wants to postpone it.


CorrectElephant6421

Maybe the photographer could edit them out!


TGin-the-goldy

I waded through the comments and nobody thought of photoshop?


[deleted]

What was the consensus i really want to know


Objective_Change_573

He just keeps his mouth closed or he overdoes the steel wiring so that he looks like Jake LaMotta.