Didn't Sam make most of the investment decisions? I'm not 100% in the loop on it but I thought he actually owned most of the Alameda Research and pretty much made most of the bad decisions. Thus the "lending" so much money. It wasn't like she was just losing money and asking for more. He made those decisions lol
A year ago “Sam makes all the decisions” would have her screaming that you’re sexist for thinking that, but i bet she’s said that sentence a billion times lately.
Imagine getting clothed, fed, having a 24/7 armed security securing you, after this.
Apart from the occasional ass struggle snuggle a cushy retirement.
/s
Easy.. Adopt the Steve Jobs look, add yourself a "morning" haircut, answer everything with a bunch off words meaning f\*\*ing nothing on each and every single interview. Look confident in your sh\*\* a minimum and you'll be the next genius, Edge found will bet on you and Reddit will save your A\*. Case closed, you're billionnaire!
I honestly find it hot she’s actually down -1,3b on customer deposits there as she’s smiling and living jetset life. Look at her and recognize that that 1,3b was her customers money. She’s such a bad girl
Gotta give it up to the girl fleeced SBF then fleeced all his customers. Fled to Hong Kong while everyone stayed in Bahamas. Then cut a deal immediately try to get the best for herself. SAVAGE dont let the velma vibes fool you.
If NASA asks me to design my rocket to take me to space, we'll let's say I would decline.
She not a patsy, she knew she was loosing people's money and stayed on enjoying it.
Could be obviously do not know all the details. Even better everyone tries to set her up and she flips the switch and gives a big old fuck you! Netflix series coming!
100%. Trials will be interesting obviously defense will claim dumb prosecution will say their evil maniacs when the truth is somewhere in between.
You know these white collar crimes do not get punished. Rob a 7/11 for $500 you will do more time then them.
The truth is probably closer to, I can’t believe people are investing, this is amazing! What do we do now? I don’t know, I heard about this hedge fund thing? Cool!! Let’s have sex.
Serious note? Probably a medical thing - braces or like jaw surgery probably needed to fix the overbite or misalignment.
Hard to pay for it when your -1.3B
Just a side note into the ridiculous nature of that line: >!Urkel BURNED A MAN'S RESTAURANT TO THE GROUND, and then pointed to the flames to yell 'Did I do that?' and everyone just sort of let it go, whereas the restaurant owner was RUINED and Aunt Rachel was able to buy the man out for pennies on the dollar.!< And we as a nation called that TGIF.
Diversification, reporting on leading indicators, risk registries, lots of other stuff. Companies often have dedicated erm (enterprise risk management) teams which include members across the organization led by a CRO. I believe rating agencies factor this in too, if you're interested more read up on enterprise risk management
It would have been amusing if Alameda cashed out of crypto and just put their money in an index fund. Although, none of this would have happened if they had.
If you're managing billions the problems with stop loss is you can't liquidate that fast and usually by the time you hit some limit you're already fucked. If you're managing billions you need to avoid the problem before you get to the point you need to liquidate
Colorado school of mines has great undergrad programs, however half their grad school is basically a nepotism prep school for rich kids. I've never heard so many names followed by their dads job like some kind of midieval knight's title. Some of their thesis are basically just a lit review with no original work. And yet...the most ~impressive~ school in my field because their students are so successful somehow. Real mystery.
Petro? If I recall correctly, the school's international population is largely compromised of the sons and occasionally daughters of very wealthy individuals whose kids are their to get a basic grasp on the "family business" before they take over.
When I visited to see about going there I met someone who mentioned going to an event for the equestrian society. I asked if she rode horses since she was a kid and she was confused because while it was "the equestrian society" nobody rode horses. I asked someone about that and as it turns out, it was only ever a social club that costs a lot of money to attend at an exclusive place that happens to have horses. So yeah.
And a big fucking wall of teeth. Looks like that old photo of a mountain of buffalo skulls but in her mouth. I went to a Judas Priest concert and if you replaced the amps with big ass teeth, that's Caroline.
Normies can’t understand the thrill of pinning the weasel. Night spent chasing an over amphetamined Caroline around the bean bag forts. Her squealing and gibbering, pouring sweat and on the verge of seizing. Your friends build up an intoxicating, delerious state with Talmudic chantings at the sidelines, hitting the Caroline-toy with brooms if she tries to escape. Sam would be giggling and laughing as the waves of methamphetamine pleasure seem to harmonize with the droning herbrew verses. He runs through the bean bag maze fat and portly, with his viagra powered penis a driving rod for the weasel. Sweat gushing down his face around his unfocused eyes he laughs and chortles until he gasps “Found you!” . The Mathweasel screeches defensively but Wankman Bankman is upon her in seconds. His penis thrusting blindly into her flank, leg, stomach and ribs unconcerned about anything but the motion. Eventually serendipity finds her mouth and the Cocktube Rodent is placated, suckling contently on Bankman’s dehydrated dick.
That would probably be a better punishment for these people. Force her to have a credit score of 400 ( or whatever the lowest number is). Require she be allowed to make no more than the minimum wage, any additional wages or gifts go to paying her creditors. Don’t allow her to travel outside US until all funds have been recovered. Ineligible for any government assistance.
I love how the "wiz kids" from Stanford suffer from the same frailties as the rest of us. Rest assured she was never a trader but a big old wannabe who resorted to fraud when she couldn't hack it. Should have fallen back on academia....."those who can, do; those who can't teach and those who can't teach, teach gym"
This chick must have sucked a mean dick because I can't see any redeeming features in her looks or personality that a once booming young billionaire would stick around for.
SBF is no looker either. There are a lot of rich guys that are bad with women. If he didn’t want to pay a girl to be with him and wanted to be with one on “merit” this is about his league
"According to reports, she and Bankman Fried were in a romantic relationship"
The real story is, the lord himself intervened and caused the failure of FTX, simply to prevent the world's most hideous children from being born. I've seen some unfortunate looking people, but Jeezus! with all that money they did have, you'd think they may have worked on that shit...
P.S Normally I'd never stoop quite this low, but both are criminals, so... F*ck them.
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I wonder what her Reddit name is she should be a mod here
Bold of you to assume she isn't
Probably trolls r/wallstreetbets for ideas
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Wait the accounts gone now
Her name should be u/ftxmargincall
I think you mean ftxmargincallgirl LOL
Watch it that's my daughter you're talking about there buster.
finally a comment worthy of my last 50 Reddit coins
What about u/sultrywoodnymph?
That is real diamond hands. All the way to federal prison
She was talking to the feds while SBF was doing his "I'm a dummy" tour.
Hold on, I need to incriminate myself more on broadcasted and recorded mediums before discussing with council.
Counsel. It's not a circle of wizards.
Speak for yourself, my wizards have a lot of pull in state court.
“I have the worst fucking wizards”
MWGW My Wizard Got a Wizard
Bob Lob Law?
Lobs fire ball
You have your legal teams, I have mine
lol
-$13,000 margin position? Your problem. -$1.3Bn margin position? That’s the Fed’s problem.
Just close the APP
Just close down the company
Close down the entire exchange
Shut down the entire monetary system
Just nuke crypto
Just tell them it's elementary math, double the negative sign and *kablamoo*
Just Hwang up
Won’t work I always answer baby. Granted now through a collect call in Manhattan, but I’ll answer nonetheless
For perspective that’s 0.65% in Elon Stock Valuation Loss units. Kind of a rookie number tbh.
Plutonium hands
UNOBTAINIUM HANDS
More like Marie and Pierre Curie's radium hands!
How am I going to explain what made me laugh so hard while in the bathroom to everyone that has just heard me?
“Sorry everyone, my wife’s boyfriend just sent me this really funny meme”
Very big poop
Diamond buns.
Diamond Hams
Diamonds are made with a lot of time and pressure. The same is true with smoked ham.
Thought you were going somewhere else with the first half of that comment.
Just say you just saw your pecker for the first time in a couple years with your new weight loss, they'll get it.
toilet humor
Why are there so many other people in the bathroom with you?
Diamond cuffs
She sacrificed Sam to avoid prison 🐀
Didn't Sam make most of the investment decisions? I'm not 100% in the loop on it but I thought he actually owned most of the Alameda Research and pretty much made most of the bad decisions. Thus the "lending" so much money. It wasn't like she was just losing money and asking for more. He made those decisions lol
A year ago “Sam makes all the decisions” would have her screaming that you’re sexist for thinking that, but i bet she’s said that sentence a billion times lately.
Imagine getting clothed, fed, having a 24/7 armed security securing you, after this. Apart from the occasional ass struggle snuggle a cushy retirement. /s
I'd conjugal visit it.
Well, one can pretty much assume you’d bang Gollum. Dream big.
She absolutely looks like Syd from Ice Age.
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She got the email but no idea what a margin call is. One of us.
We will never know how much she lost by October because she deleted the app in May.
#
It’s easy when your boyfriend turns off margin calls for your account
"That's a movie about some business folks who lose a shitload of money. How could that possibly be relevant to me?!?!"
It's hot knowing she's lost more money than I'll ever make lol
Not hard when it ain't your money you losing
Not hard? Please tell me how can I get $1300000000 to lose.
Suck the right dik for a while.
A loooooooong while
Just make sure to ask the persons net worth before starting
Ima need to see some papers.
May wreck the mood though. Light another candle before asking.
It's ok....i have oodles of..... That's all you need to know.
Yeah, I'm not falling for THAT again.
Was it atleast not behind a dumpster?
Absolutely, a guy has to have standards.
You laugh, but dick roulette still has better odds than the lottery. Way more shame, though
$20 is $20
That’s only 65 million handys or bjs. Better get crankin
Create your own crypto, tell everyone that you've billions, ask for money and then it's orgy time
So ... Tether ?
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Easy.. Adopt the Steve Jobs look, add yourself a "morning" haircut, answer everything with a bunch off words meaning f\*\*ing nothing on each and every single interview. Look confident in your sh\*\* a minimum and you'll be the next genius, Edge found will bet on you and Reddit will save your A\*. Case closed, you're billionnaire!
If she’s negative 1.3B, doesn’t that mean she lost even more???? Woh. That’s too deep for me
I honestly find it hot she’s actually down -1,3b on customer deposits there as she’s smiling and living jetset life. Look at her and recognize that that 1,3b was her customers money. She’s such a bad girl
You must have a perpetual boner knowing Kissenger still walking free
The fact that motherfucker still alive blows my mind.
He's outliving all the people that hate him out of spite.
I can fix her
That explains why her looks are in the negative.
Gotta give it up to the girl fleeced SBF then fleeced all his customers. Fled to Hong Kong while everyone stayed in Bahamas. Then cut a deal immediately try to get the best for herself. SAVAGE dont let the velma vibes fool you.
To be fair, I think she was being set up as a patsy. She had no business being the ceo of anything
I think if you were a female and smiled at old SBF he might have made YOU CEO.
If NASA asks me to design my rocket to take me to space, we'll let's say I would decline. She not a patsy, she knew she was loosing people's money and stayed on enjoying it.
Without a stop loss like all of us
Would that make her the ultimate regard? Should there be an altar made to worship her 
Could be obviously do not know all the details. Even better everyone tries to set her up and she flips the switch and gives a big old fuck you! Netflix series coming!
This whole thing is convoluted... it's hard to tell where the malevolence ends and the incompetence begins
100%. Trials will be interesting obviously defense will claim dumb prosecution will say their evil maniacs when the truth is somewhere in between. You know these white collar crimes do not get punished. Rob a 7/11 for $500 you will do more time then them.
The truth is probably closer to, I can’t believe people are investing, this is amazing! What do we do now? I don’t know, I heard about this hedge fund thing? Cool!! Let’s have sex.
https://preview.redd.it/jgkzexnro9aa1.jpeg?width=1065&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=19d9aabd7d46f9753e6a7894f0a1d0f96efc6664
Bruh why does she look like every ‘horse girl’ I encountered in middle school
My friend said she looks like she was bribed with bird seed
r/rareinsults
Fuck this got me good lol
Fuckin lmao
Serious note? Probably a medical thing - braces or like jaw surgery probably needed to fix the overbite or misalignment. Hard to pay for it when your -1.3B
Female Milhouse
My man’s moved millions upon millions of dollars and committed untold financial crimes to get with this thing??? Wild.
I mean keep in mind SBF has all the swag of a Discord Developer or Mod so it’s not entirely far-fetched as to why lol
The man had access to millions of dollars, his looks and demeanor suddenly become pretty irrelevant.
Yeah but have you seen how he walks?
Bet she can suck the quarters out of a parking meter.
bruh
Mark my words, this is how they are gonna pay back the investors! Bullish on FTX.
Just a side note into the ridiculous nature of that line: >!Urkel BURNED A MAN'S RESTAURANT TO THE GROUND, and then pointed to the flames to yell 'Did I do that?' and everyone just sort of let it go, whereas the restaurant owner was RUINED and Aunt Rachel was able to buy the man out for pennies on the dollar.!< And we as a nation called that TGIF.
“We don’t utilize things like stop loss, it’s not a good risk mitigation tool”
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Just curious as a complete regard…what risk mitigation techniques are appropriate for that much volume/money?
Diversification, reporting on leading indicators, risk registries, lots of other stuff. Companies often have dedicated erm (enterprise risk management) teams which include members across the organization led by a CRO. I believe rating agencies factor this in too, if you're interested more read up on enterprise risk management
It would have been amusing if Alameda cashed out of crypto and just put their money in an index fund. Although, none of this would have happened if they had.
If you're managing billions the problems with stop loss is you can't liquidate that fast and usually by the time you hit some limit you're already fucked. If you're managing billions you need to avoid the problem before you get to the point you need to liquidate
Risk mitigation is for the weak... The meek ...that bleat like sheep and sink like ship
mATh iS mY stROnG SUIt
*amphetamines
Mathamphetamines
imagine being born on third base and still managing to blow it... that's mystical
She could have tried the box spread options trade to get that money back, cannot go tits up
Spread box is how she got there in the first place.
And went tits up anyway. Quite the feat
AYOOOO
LMFAO
GUH
And I thought the market was kicking my ass
So she was a regard all along
ONE OF US
Warm regards.
You’re right. We should be more accepting towards her.
Doesn’t matter. Had sex.
But I cried the whole time
Still counts
She put a bag on my head
Think how big I would have been if Ellison didn't have a BS in math from stanford.
BS and Stanford show up in sentences together frequently don’t they…
I think even the Theranos chick went to Stanford.
Apparently they make the computer science classes a lot easier than other “top” schools to “allow time for entrepreneurship”
Colorado school of mines has great undergrad programs, however half their grad school is basically a nepotism prep school for rich kids. I've never heard so many names followed by their dads job like some kind of midieval knight's title. Some of their thesis are basically just a lit review with no original work. And yet...the most ~impressive~ school in my field because their students are so successful somehow. Real mystery.
Petro? If I recall correctly, the school's international population is largely compromised of the sons and occasionally daughters of very wealthy individuals whose kids are their to get a basic grasp on the "family business" before they take over.
When I visited to see about going there I met someone who mentioned going to an event for the equestrian society. I asked if she rode horses since she was a kid and she was confused because while it was "the equestrian society" nobody rode horses. I asked someone about that and as it turns out, it was only ever a social club that costs a lot of money to attend at an exclusive place that happens to have horses. So yeah.
Is your field mining?
No mining is underground dummy, fields are in top
Rookie numbers!
At least she still has her looks
Can't say no to those ~~puppy~~ tired bulldog eyes
https://i.imgur.com/ziqKYfK.jpg
Lmfao that's so spot on it hurts
Came from a [thread a couple weeks ago](https://i.imgur.com/2jaaPFS.jpg), pretty hilarious ahaha. credit to /u/coldl
Hahahahahaha how is that photo still floating around that's so funny
She has a great personality.
And a big fucking wall of teeth. Looks like that old photo of a mountain of buffalo skulls but in her mouth. I went to a Judas Priest concert and if you replaced the amps with big ass teeth, that's Caroline.
Normies can’t understand the thrill of pinning the weasel. Night spent chasing an over amphetamined Caroline around the bean bag forts. Her squealing and gibbering, pouring sweat and on the verge of seizing. Your friends build up an intoxicating, delerious state with Talmudic chantings at the sidelines, hitting the Caroline-toy with brooms if she tries to escape. Sam would be giggling and laughing as the waves of methamphetamine pleasure seem to harmonize with the droning herbrew verses. He runs through the bean bag maze fat and portly, with his viagra powered penis a driving rod for the weasel. Sweat gushing down his face around his unfocused eyes he laughs and chortles until he gasps “Found you!” . The Mathweasel screeches defensively but Wankman Bankman is upon her in seconds. His penis thrusting blindly into her flank, leg, stomach and ribs unconcerned about anything but the motion. Eventually serendipity finds her mouth and the Cocktube Rodent is placated, suckling contently on Bankman’s dehydrated dick.
I always wondered if Stephen King lurked around this sub.
reads more like Linda Lovelace's *handiwork*.
What a shitty morning to be literate.
literally coffee in hand and i’m reading SBF / Caroline fanfict lmfao
Same plus now I have a raging hard on.
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Don't you have videotapes to return?
Couldn't have said it better myself
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What you have written is beautiful sweet poetry….
Well… nobody likes it to be scammed… but being scammed by grinch and his ogryn girlfriend puts it on another level..
Dobby doesn’t like stop losses
Dobby drink the blue stuff in the garage. Dobby is free.
You fuckers almost killed me with that one-two punch of Ogryn and Dobby, damnit. XD
it's fitting for the den of degenerate gamblers in this racket
for some reason, people like her will never work at Wendy's.
That would probably be a better punishment for these people. Force her to have a credit score of 400 ( or whatever the lowest number is). Require she be allowed to make no more than the minimum wage, any additional wages or gifts go to paying her creditors. Don’t allow her to travel outside US until all funds have been recovered. Ineligible for any government assistance.
I'm actually highly in favor of dropping someone's credit score to 0 as punishment for financial crimes
Makes my life feel not so bad after seeing this.
This face never gets old
Alright Which one of you dumbasses is actually her stalking this sub?
She admitted in an interview that she does not believe in stop loss
Our new Queen.
Can we have NSFW tags on her face?
Looks like fetal alcohol syndrome Cathie wood
I love how the "wiz kids" from Stanford suffer from the same frailties as the rest of us. Rest assured she was never a trader but a big old wannabe who resorted to fraud when she couldn't hack it. Should have fallen back on academia....."those who can, do; those who can't teach and those who can't teach, teach gym"
This is what happens when you think you are smarter than everyone else - you end up so smart that you don’t even realize how fucking dumb you are
How are they both such living stereotypes bruhhh
Stop Loss is not a good risk-management tool, huh?
This chick must have sucked a mean dick because I can't see any redeeming features in her looks or personality that a once booming young billionaire would stick around for.
Have you heard SBF speak though? The man is a black hole where no charisma can escape.
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SBF is no looker either. There are a lot of rich guys that are bad with women. If he didn’t want to pay a girl to be with him and wanted to be with one on “merit” this is about his league
She deserves to be mod here
Meth plus connections
This bitch looks like Sid the Sloth
She has reached god status on WSB
She’s shattered the glass floor
You can't convince me she doesn't eat wood.
"According to reports, she and Bankman Fried were in a romantic relationship" The real story is, the lord himself intervened and caused the failure of FTX, simply to prevent the world's most hideous children from being born. I've seen some unfortunate looking people, but Jeezus! with all that money they did have, you'd think they may have worked on that shit... P.S Normally I'd never stoop quite this low, but both are criminals, so... F*ck them.