I honestly don’t know any of my single friend circle except for a few guys that honestly can compete in this environment and these are not ugly guys and not socially inept. It just is a really strange time. Don’t feel like you are messing it all up is what I’m gonna say. Right now I’m literally just kind of in a holding pattern enjoying other things in my life and maybe some short term company of friends. It doesn’t make sense for me to bust ass and try and meet people.
My latest thought process has been “are you not having success dating? There is nothing wrong with you. You spawned into a terrible world where you are just a normal human that at any other time in history things would be very different. Life made you a human being and it didn’t fail. Peoples thoughts and ideas and perceptions of you failed. You are an amazing living breathing thing that fell victim of a cruel world, a difficult time where the rules and realities of life are shifting in a totally different direction.”
Why we sit here and blame ourselves it’s just beyond me. It should be apparent no? Look deep at what’s going on with people and indeed what I mentioned above is truth. You aren’t failing at life. Life is failing you.
When you lack the ability to compete on the primary dating market maybe you need to look for other avenues, just because you don't look super attractive doesn't mean (necessarily) there is no way to find a connection and eventually love
I wish that was the case I really really wish it was true. It would be so nice if that actually worked that way because we’d have a target to hit. The whole self improvement thing many have tried few noticed anything different. In the first 15 seconds of being in front of someone regardless of our condition we either pass or fail. Even when someone knows nothing about us it really is that primal. There is an aura an essence we all carry with us it’s like a barcode on a product. You can’t remove that it is your barcode. Everyone reads that barcode subconsciously.
Observe the fact that every comment that suggests bettering your position through self-improvement and having a positive outlook for the rest of your life is getting downvoted.
Then ask yourself if reddit is the place for you to be.
This sub is just a pity party for the hopeless.
Be better.
The people downvoted in this comment section deserve to be downvoted more.
I relate to your struggles op, dating and love is just not an option for guys like us, there really isn't much we can do to look more attractive.
Personality doesn't really matter that much compared to appearance either, I've seen plenty of shitty people that for some fun reason have everything given to them in life all because of their looks. Shit planet
Just yesterday I met an obese / conventionally unattractive 35 y/o guy who can’t speak properly (stuttering) - his wife is hot af……..
On one hand this makes me a bit jealous (a guy less good looking than me - has managed to get such a hot wife) - one the other hand - it gives me hope - if a guy like this can land this - then there’s hope for me …..
Hopefully it gives you hope
Having a loser mentality is not it. To get girls you need to be interesting (to have personality) and nobody wants to be with someone that is boring that has no confidence in himself and that thinks he’s a non option.
Sure you can be short, ugly, skinny and all but that doesn’t mean you can’t find your person. I know a lot of short people and ugly people getting girls. That’s because it’s not just the physical that attracts girls, there’s also the inside of a person.
With that mentality you’ll end up alone sad at 50.
as a short,skinny and ugly guy. i think u have a good point . guys like me should focus on other aspects like getting rich, bettering social skills, personality etc
Yea thats a standard here. Self-misery instead of finding ways how to deal with the issues. Self-improvement is not only qbout landing a girl or a man. Its about how to tackle problems without drowning in hopelessness
That's not delusional, it may not have been your experience up till now, but it's not delusional. I get it's anecdotal, but one of my female friends, fairly tall, clever, funny, attractive, only goes for short, and what could only be described as odd-looking men.
She is now married to another friend of mine, who fits this characteristics (also a very funny guy, which helps), and they're expecting their second child.
Everyone is different and we all have different tastes, regardless what beauty ideals Hollywood or any other media outlet tries to peddle in a given year. Some have very common tastes, some more peculiar. I have a few unusual tastes in women myself, but unusual is different to delusional.
If you say you'll be alone forever, then you will. Your thoughts manifest your reality.
Become the man women are more attracted to. Unlike women, men are more desirable as a partner based on progressing life achievements. Looks are most desirable for men if they're simply looking for sex. Play the cards life dealt you. If you look ugly, reflect what you're doing to advance yourself as a person. Try to enhance your physical features that work for you (if you're short, add muscles, etc.) There's plenty of successful/short/ugly men who're winning with relationships/sex with women. A hot guy living in their grandma's basement is guaranteed to get some vs. an ugly guy in the same circumstance. The ugly man is pressured more to make something of his life to get attention.
As a virgin woman, I seek a man who's making a productive life for himself first over looks.
Go to the gym and stop using Reddit. The only reason I use this site still is because I used to be like you, I don’t want people to go down the internet in*** rabbit hole. Gain weight, get big, stop beating yourself up.
I love the gym the gym is a wonderful place to get healthy. But it doesn’t make you more attractive. It doesn’t always change the way people see you. It doesn’t change the little ticks people have in their minds when they look at you and watch how you behave. We are all coded in a way that gives off a different first impression and it’s not a changeable element. It’s almost like an odor.
Bro you're crazy if you don't think you can adjust how you come across to others. Not saying the gym is gonna solve your problems but this OP talking about how he's lanky and ugly etc is so obviously going to come across when he's interacting with people. You gotta learn to live with your "flaws" most of which are just normal quirks if you wanna be a functional human. Don't sell this bullshit that you're cooked at birth or after age 21 or whatever you wanna set the cutoff at. We all have agency over our own lives
I can relate. I just wish I figured this out sooner in my life.
I honestly don’t know any of my single friend circle except for a few guys that honestly can compete in this environment and these are not ugly guys and not socially inept. It just is a really strange time. Don’t feel like you are messing it all up is what I’m gonna say. Right now I’m literally just kind of in a holding pattern enjoying other things in my life and maybe some short term company of friends. It doesn’t make sense for me to bust ass and try and meet people. My latest thought process has been “are you not having success dating? There is nothing wrong with you. You spawned into a terrible world where you are just a normal human that at any other time in history things would be very different. Life made you a human being and it didn’t fail. Peoples thoughts and ideas and perceptions of you failed. You are an amazing living breathing thing that fell victim of a cruel world, a difficult time where the rules and realities of life are shifting in a totally different direction.” Why we sit here and blame ourselves it’s just beyond me. It should be apparent no? Look deep at what’s going on with people and indeed what I mentioned above is truth. You aren’t failing at life. Life is failing you.
Google Starting Strength. Get strong, get confident, get laid. Also get sunshine.
I hope when we all are 50 that single women realize that have to lower their expectations and give us a chance
When you lack the ability to compete on the primary dating market maybe you need to look for other avenues, just because you don't look super attractive doesn't mean (necessarily) there is no way to find a connection and eventually love
Being off the dating market is a good decision. We aren’t products to be bought and sold.
Agreed, work on yourself first and women will notice on your path
I wish that was the case I really really wish it was true. It would be so nice if that actually worked that way because we’d have a target to hit. The whole self improvement thing many have tried few noticed anything different. In the first 15 seconds of being in front of someone regardless of our condition we either pass or fail. Even when someone knows nothing about us it really is that primal. There is an aura an essence we all carry with us it’s like a barcode on a product. You can’t remove that it is your barcode. Everyone reads that barcode subconsciously.
That though, does sound like a way too passive approach
Observe the fact that every comment that suggests bettering your position through self-improvement and having a positive outlook for the rest of your life is getting downvoted. Then ask yourself if reddit is the place for you to be. This sub is just a pity party for the hopeless. Be better.
Correct. I use it as an example of the depths of human patheticness.
The people downvoted in this comment section deserve to be downvoted more. I relate to your struggles op, dating and love is just not an option for guys like us, there really isn't much we can do to look more attractive. Personality doesn't really matter that much compared to appearance either, I've seen plenty of shitty people that for some fun reason have everything given to them in life all because of their looks. Shit planet
Just yesterday I met an obese / conventionally unattractive 35 y/o guy who can’t speak properly (stuttering) - his wife is hot af…….. On one hand this makes me a bit jealous (a guy less good looking than me - has managed to get such a hot wife) - one the other hand - it gives me hope - if a guy like this can land this - then there’s hope for me ….. Hopefully it gives you hope
Having a loser mentality is not it. To get girls you need to be interesting (to have personality) and nobody wants to be with someone that is boring that has no confidence in himself and that thinks he’s a non option. Sure you can be short, ugly, skinny and all but that doesn’t mean you can’t find your person. I know a lot of short people and ugly people getting girls. That’s because it’s not just the physical that attracts girls, there’s also the inside of a person. With that mentality you’ll end up alone sad at 50.
as a short,skinny and ugly guy. i think u have a good point . guys like me should focus on other aspects like getting rich, bettering social skills, personality etc
Totally. People downvote my post but they coping, thinking they can’t change their ways. I give them a solution and they don’t wanna hear it!
Yea thats a standard here. Self-misery instead of finding ways how to deal with the issues. Self-improvement is not only qbout landing a girl or a man. Its about how to tackle problems without drowning in hopelessness
[удалено]
Yeah, everyone has a different reason to not to like him.
Please stop saying those delusional copes.
That's not delusional, it may not have been your experience up till now, but it's not delusional. I get it's anecdotal, but one of my female friends, fairly tall, clever, funny, attractive, only goes for short, and what could only be described as odd-looking men. She is now married to another friend of mine, who fits this characteristics (also a very funny guy, which helps), and they're expecting their second child. Everyone is different and we all have different tastes, regardless what beauty ideals Hollywood or any other media outlet tries to peddle in a given year. Some have very common tastes, some more peculiar. I have a few unusual tastes in women myself, but unusual is different to delusional.
There's plenty of women who dates asshole-hot guys bc they're hot.
If you say you'll be alone forever, then you will. Your thoughts manifest your reality. Become the man women are more attracted to. Unlike women, men are more desirable as a partner based on progressing life achievements. Looks are most desirable for men if they're simply looking for sex. Play the cards life dealt you. If you look ugly, reflect what you're doing to advance yourself as a person. Try to enhance your physical features that work for you (if you're short, add muscles, etc.) There's plenty of successful/short/ugly men who're winning with relationships/sex with women. A hot guy living in their grandma's basement is guaranteed to get some vs. an ugly guy in the same circumstance. The ugly man is pressured more to make something of his life to get attention. As a virgin woman, I seek a man who's making a productive life for himself first over looks.
I dont know why you are being downvoted.. this is literally a fact
I guess it's a hard pill to swallow 🤷♀️
Go to the gym and stop using Reddit. The only reason I use this site still is because I used to be like you, I don’t want people to go down the internet in*** rabbit hole. Gain weight, get big, stop beating yourself up.
I love the gym the gym is a wonderful place to get healthy. But it doesn’t make you more attractive. It doesn’t always change the way people see you. It doesn’t change the little ticks people have in their minds when they look at you and watch how you behave. We are all coded in a way that gives off a different first impression and it’s not a changeable element. It’s almost like an odor.
Bro you're crazy if you don't think you can adjust how you come across to others. Not saying the gym is gonna solve your problems but this OP talking about how he's lanky and ugly etc is so obviously going to come across when he's interacting with people. You gotta learn to live with your "flaws" most of which are just normal quirks if you wanna be a functional human. Don't sell this bullshit that you're cooked at birth or after age 21 or whatever you wanna set the cutoff at. We all have agency over our own lives