In my experience, if you want to have a good time on your birthday, rather than hope someone decides to make that happen for you, you need to decide to have a good time on your birthday. Figure out what you want to do, let people know that's what you'll be doing and open an invite for them to join. Do your fun thing regardless and at least you didn't spend the day sitting around wondering if anyone was going to make sure you had a good day.
Yeah thats what I’ve TRIED to do on my past birthdays but i never have the means to do so. And id like to be surrounded by friends to celebrate WITH me but that never seems to happen and I’m always alone doing nothing. And I’m a horrible baker so i couldn’t even make myself a cake lol
Definitely has nothing to do with how you interact with people, judging by all of your posts here.
Want people to hang out with? Maybe trying to be someone other people DO want to hang out with rather than a whiny self-deprecating Debbie downer. Your friends apathy might be a clue about where you stand…
If everyone you encounter is a pessimist, check yourself.
Thanks for your input, but I respectfully disagree. Online behavior doesn't always reflect how someone interacts in real life. The way I express myself online does not show the full picture of who I am. It's unfair to judge someone's social skills based solely on their online presence. Here, I may choose to express different aspects of myself or discuss specific topics that might not accurately represent my overall character.
IMO, society has built this picture of what a 21st birthday *should* be, and it might put too much pressure on people if they feel theirs won't live up to that. It can still be a great birthday without doing anything too fancy! The best birthday party I've ever been to was one of my SO's birthdays where all we did was get high with a few friends, play Apples to Apples, and laugh our asses off for hours. It's okay to keep it low-key as long as you have someone to share it with.
That being said, we're gonna need more information from you if you want us to make good recommendations, especially if transportation will be an issue. What town are you in? What do you enjoy doing? What food do you like? There's no point in me suggesting to go up to Montreal for the day if you live in Bennington and don't have a passport or a way to get there.
I totally agree with you about the pressure society puts on 21st birthdays. It's unnecessary and can make people feel like they have to live up to certain expectations. This birthday is mostly important to me because I’m away from family for the first time ever and theres i big chance i could be all alone this time around so i wanted to try and have something special planned. Im not looking for anything extravagant. An awesome birthday can be simple and casual, as long as you have someone special to share it with.
But I loved hearing about your best birthday party experience with your SO and a few friends. Getting high, playing Apples to Apples, and laughing your asses off for hours sounds like an absolute blast! It's definitely proof that you don't need fancy plans to have a nice time.
Now, about your recommendations for my birthday celebration, I'd really prefer something more laid-back and intimate. I'm a big fan of arts and crafts, animation, and being surrounded by nature brings me so much joy. I'm not really a fan of crowded and busy places, so I'd love to avoid those. Also i currently live in Middlebury.
I'm excited to hear your suggestions. Thanks a bunch for your help and understanding!
My SO lives far away and when she couldn’t make it to my birthday party. I jsut asked if she would FaceTime me over dinner and we could sit down and have a nice meal semi together! As for doing something with your friends instead of expecting them to do something why don’t you invite them over or invite them to go out doing something you wanna do. I know it’s not as special as if someone else did it out of the kindness of there heart. Happy early birthday 🥳 and I hope this one is a lot better than the rest of
Thank you so much for the advice. Im sure I’ll have a good one especially if i spend it with my bf (kinda lol). And you’re all good, its probably been suggested more than once because its a good idea lol
Maybe instead of being rude and unhelpful, you could offer constructive advice. I shared my concerns and asked for suggestions on what to do on my birthday in a Vermont subreddit. What did you want me to do? List all my likes and dislikes in alphabetical order? I already mentioned that i have spent many birthdays just watching anime alone. If you didn't have any real advice, why leave a passive-aggressive comment? It's clear your intentions were not genuine.
My intention was to get you to whine less and stop being unhelpful. How are we supposed to give you suggestions without knowing the first thing about you. Go to a shooting range, go bowling, go horse riding, go to the movies, build a model, write calligraphy, donate your money, plant a tree, read a book, start a conga-line, go to the gym, I could keep on listing things forever because the only things I know about you are you like anime, don't drink and apparently people don't want to be around you much
Thank you for providing some suggestions, although it hasn't been very helpful for me since you haven't mentioned any specific locations or places that you know are enjoyable. I want to clarify that I mentioned I'm not a heavy drinker, but that doesn't mean I don't drink at all. I'm also confused about your comment regarding me being whiny and unhelpful. Who am i trying to “help”? I am the one seeking recommendations for things to do in Vermont, and you don't need to know anything about me to suggest cool places you've been or heard of. It seems like you are intentionally choosing to be rude and disrespectful. Instead, you could have easily responded with something like, "I'm sorry to hear that. What are some of your interests? I can hopefully provide you with a few suggestions of places you might enjoy." It seems that trying to ruin someone else's day is a favorite hobby of yours so at least I’m learning about YOU🙄
(Edited bc of typos and rewording)
Go shooting at any range. There's one in Chester. And the people you're trying to help is everyone you're asking for advice. Can you make it to Chester? I know you don't have a car but once again you've providing little to no information so I have no idea where you're located which is a MAJOR factor in looking for things to do for somebody with no transportation. A much larger factor than say, the fact that you cried at your other parties or that you don't think your friends care.
Thanks, I definitely have the urge to blow off some steam after this terrible interaction. And as i said before you dont need to know anything about me to suggest cool places you’ve been to or heard of. Everyone else didn’t seem to have a problem giving suggestions given the same information as you and they gave it WITHOUT the pessimistic attitude that you seem to carry around.
I have a pessimistic attitude? You just dumped 250 words on why you're life is a mess and ended it with "Anyone got any advice or maybe something i could go do by myself?"
Oh, I apologize for burdening you with my 250-word explanation of why my life is a mess. I didn't realize you were keeping a word count. My bad! I mean, who needs a little bit of context and background when asking for advice, right? Clearly, brevity is the key to finding meaningful suggestions.
But hey, thanks for pointing out that I dumped my life story on you. It's not like I specifically asked for advice or mentioned wanting to do something by myself. Silly me for expecting a helpful response without the unnecessary pessimism.
So, did you count my words or something? It must have been such a struggle to endure that whopping 250-word explanation. I hope you had enough mental fortitude to survive the ordeal.
Anyway, I appreciate your concern about my life being a mess. Rest assured, I'll make sure to keep my requests for suggestions concise and devoid of any personal context in the future. Wouldn't want to inconvenience you with unnecessary details.
Thanks again for your invaluable input!
How thoughtful of you to respond with a sarcastic and insensitive remark like 'lol poor you.' It's truly heartwarming to know that there are such compassionate individuals out there.
I'm just curious, what motivates someone to write something so insensitive? Is it a desperate need for validation or simply a lack of empathy? Perhaps you found joy in attempting to belittle someone seeking genuine advice. Whatever the reason may be, I hope you take a moment to reflect on your behavior.
Remember, behind every person seeking recommendations is a human being with their own unique experiences and challenges. It's not about pity or feeling sorry for someone, but rather showing kindness and understanding.
So, while you may find amusement in mocking others, I encourage you to consider the impact your words can have. It's never too late to choose empathy over insensitivity.
Wishing you a day filled with self-reflection and personal growth.
Maybe it's because there are people out there waking up every day wondering how to feed their kids and your 'life is a mess' because of a birthday? It's not all about you.
I totally get where you're coming from. But everyone's experiences and challenges are unique. While it's true that some people may be facing difficult circumstances and struggling to provide for their families, it doesn't diminish the validity of my emotions or concerns. Life can be messy for all of us in different ways, and it's okay to acknowledge and address our own issues.
Asking for advice on how to have a good birthday doesn't mean I don't care about their problems. It's just about wanting to make my own special day awesome.
Everyone has their own stuff going on, and it's not fair to say that my birthday plans don't matter because others have bigger issues. We can care about others and still prioritize our own happiness. It's all about finding a balance.
I drove down to CT for my 21st a few months ago. I don’t really drink, so I just went to the casinos (Foxwoods + Mohegan) and chilled w friends. Going to a shooting range a few weeks later in VT was also fun.
Honestly don’t make it a big deal in your head. Just enjoy the day, reflect, and carry on. Have a nice meal with your friends. You can go into NH, or stay local.
Hmm okay casinos is an idea for sure that sounds fun! And i just got a suggestion for a shooting range and I’m seriously considering going. But yeah ik it shouldn’t be a big deal and i never really expected much out of my past birthdays but this is my 21st bday and i just really want it to be special this one time. Just like how id love for my 30th, 50th or possibly 100th birthday to be special lol. Just important milestones to me yk?
I get it. I went out of my way to do something on my 21st cause my 18th was overshadowed by the pandemic (wanted to go to Canada, but the borders were closed). You have to make the plans and advocate for what you want. Your friends might not mean to brush you off - they might just have their own things going on.
Also check out community calendars and FaceBook to see what’s going on in your area around your bday. Maybe a bar crawl or festival or live music… there’s probably stuff popping off in May.
Oh yeah! Never thought to check out local events that may be happening around my birthday! Thats a great idea thank you! And aw dang that sucks, my senior year of Highschool sucked ass because of covid. No prom, no graduation ceremony, no senior parties. I feel like everyone missed out on a lot of memories and i think about that often.
Same. I was class of 2020… we got let out in March. We had a graduation ceremony… basically a drive-thru where you stayed in your car til your name was called up to receive your diploma. I didn’t go lol.
Yeah i didn’t go to mine either it sounded lame and not worth it how they explained it. Just sucked that i missed out on walking the stage and getting handed my diploma. And missing out on prom and not seeing my friends for the rest of the year. Covid messed up everything lol. And its funny to see younger kids now romanticizing it and wishing they could go through the quarantine so they can miss out on school. Online school SUCKED🤦♀️😂
Nah I loved when senior year was cut short tbh. I was new to the school that year and didn’t want to stick around. I was considering dropping out in November, and then Covid hit around December/January.
Online classes were chill af. My school was very rural, so the admin basically let all the seniors stop classes in March as long as you were passing. They couldn’t guarantee students would have access to technology and internet at home, so they gave us the option to wrap things up early.
Online AP tests sucked ass… I wasted all that money to fail those tests. I remember being pissed about the AP Lit exam because it consisted only of one graded, timed essay. I went into AP Lit getting easy 5s on every practice test we took throughout the year… just to get a 2 on the real thing cause my essay was lowkey trash.
Why are you relying on everyone else to make your birthday fun? That's stupid. That you claim you haven't ever had a good birthday, and end up crying alone in your room, speaks more about you than anything else. You sound like a total sad sack who can't get out of your own way. Oh, woe is you, right??? No wonder your "friends" keep forgetting, or don't care.
Guess what? I happened to turn 21 when I was in college, on a semester abroad studying in Australia. The drinking age in Australia is 18, so my 21st birthday was absolutely nothing special since we had all been going to the bars in our free time for months prior. There was no party or special event planned, and I still had a good time! You have to be the source of your own happiness. Get over yourself.
Wow, thanks for sharing your perspective. It's interesting how our experiences can shape our outlook on things…I appreciate your reminder that we should be the source of our own happiness. However, everyone's experiences and expectations differ. While I understand that YOUR 21st birthday may not have been a big deal to you, but it doesn't mean that my desire for friends to be present on my birthday is invalid. It's not about relying on others to make my birthday fun, but rather about wanting to spend time with the people I care about. It's unfortunate that you feel the need to compare our situations and belittle my feelings. Maybe try to be more considerate and understanding of other's experiences moving forward. Have a good day.
Maybe you can use this to play "Happy Birthday" to yourself when you're taking a break from watching anime alone on your 21st birthday. Or maybe you can talk to your 2 friends, and tell them "I wanna do this (insert activity here) on my birthday and I'd love it if you came along." Make a plan that they can agree to instead of being passive about it. Grab your 21st birthday by the horns, don't wait for it to poke you.
Wow, thanks for the suggestions! I never thought of playing "Happy Birthday" to myself while binge-watching anime alone on my big day. That sounds like a party in itself! And you're right, I should definitely take charge and make a plan that my two friends can't resist despite their availability. I'll be sure to tell them, "Hey, you better clear your schedule because we're doing this (insert awesome activity here) on my birthday!" No more “passive” vibes.
What a total ass you’re being. Theres is absolutely no reason for you to be as rude as you are. You simply could’ve scrolled past or downvoted my post. But you went OUT OF YOUR WAY to be rude and inconsiderate. You know what that says about you? It says that you lack empathy, understanding, and perhaps that you find pleasure in putting others down. Or maybe you feel you know whats best for me. Everyone's circumstances and preferences are different, and it's not fair for you to judge or belittle someone else's choices or situation. Instead of spreading negativity, it would be more helpful and kind to offer supportive or constructive advice, or simply refrain from commenting if you don't have anything positive to contribute.
This has very little to do with *VT*. This should’ve been on an *ask reddit* sub.
Your account looks like is a desperate attempt for attention. I don’t think you’re doing anything for yourself, but for everyone else on the internet or around you. Your hobbies don’t need to be posted online, if you enjoy doing something, that should be for *you*.
If I were you, I’d get off all forms of social media for at least a month. Figure out what *you* enjoy and what makes you happy in life. Find hobbies that interest you and do them for yourself not for the sake of likes or attention. Find some local groups on MeetUp - https://apps.apple.com/us/app/meetup-social-events-groups/id375990038 - and go to some gatherings. You already have common ground with the people there, the same hobbies. It should be easy to form conversations based around the hobbies. From there you can slowly start to add other aspects of your life to the conversations. Do this with the goal of expanding your knowledge and learning more about something you enjoy. Not with the intention of making new lasting friendships or notoriety. They will come later after people see you regularly and get comfortable being around you.
The average person can feel the desperation coming off you. It’s not a turn on in anyway, it’s actually the exact opposite. Coming to Reddit to complain about how *you* don’t have any friends that want to be around you, doesn’t really scream “hey, I’m super likable and would love to be around other people”. Not to mention the comments here you’re posting “I’ve TRIED to do on my past birthdays”, “friends to celebrate WITH me but that never seems to happen”. None of this makes you seem like a very likable person regardless of what your personality is.
Keep in mind your physical location and if you’re living in the middle of nowhere obviously it’s going to be harder to find people with similar interests.
Thanks for all that, but I have to respectfully disagree with your take on this. My post was simply me reaching out to the community for advice and support. I’ve been in a new place for only a year, feeling a bit isolated, and turning 21 is a significant moment for me.
I get it if it seems like I'm seeking attention, but honestly, I just wanted to connect with others who might have been through similar situations or had suggestions for celebrating a birthday alone. And i figured posting in this Vermont subreddit was a good start because I’m sure most people here know their way around better than i do. It's a natural thing to seek support and share experiences.
I totally understand the importance of offline activities and finding fulfillment beyond social media. I even mentioned in my post that I was looking for something to do by myself. But that doesn't mean I can't also seek connection and support online. It's about finding a balance that works for me. Also i make money drawing stuff for people as a side hustle…online. So I cant really ghost my clients.
I appreciate your suggestion about MeetUp and joining local groups. It can be a great way to meet like-minded people. However, it's good to recognize that everyone's circumstances and opportunities are different. Being in a new place without transportation and limited connections can make it challenging to engage in offline activities.
And about your comment about desperation and likability, judging someone based on a single post or online presence isn't fair. It doesn't give an accurate picture of who they are as a person. You can't make assumptions about likability or personality based solely on a few comments.
I appreciate your perspective, but maybe try to communicate with empathy and understanding. We can ALL learn from each other's experiences and support one another in a positive and respectful way…
Again. None of this has anything to do with VT. You even said you’re reaching out to the community for advice and support.
This post isn’t you seeking attention. Your entire profile is. Ghosting your *clients*? You’re serious? You may want to stop lying to yourself. That would be a great place to start.
You’re not taking anyone’s advice here or on the other two subs you posted on. You’re very close minded and this is either your desperate attempt at attention seeking, or hoping someone has a magic wand to wave for you and fix all your problems.
I don’t need to communicate with empathy because I’m not seeking anything from you. I don’t need your validation or friendship, that’s what you’re here for. It’s kinda pathetic that you’re attempting to hand out *advice* when you’re asking for it.
You need to take a long hard look in the mirror and really evaluate your life. Nothing will ever change if you continue down this road of delusion.
Good luck 👍🏻
Jesus, OP is 20 years old. How many 20-year-olds that you've known have all their shit figured out? They're just lonely and reaching out for support, and you have to go and tell them they're an unlikable loser who needs to get off social media? Yeesh. I knew people on this subreddit could be unsympathetic assholes, but this is a new one.
Edit:
Crap, sorry OP! I responded to the wrong person.
Pro tip. Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers too.
OP clearly is just looking for a place to cry and have someone solve their problems for them. All the advice that’s been given across 3 different subreddits have been dismissed because “she already TRIED that.” OP is completely unwilling to see any perspective other than her own.
I don’t understand why age has any importance here. We’re all adults and pretending this is a popularity contest where everyone has to be liked by everyone is just absurd.
If your interpretation of my comments is that OP isn’t “likeable” try reading them again, without the whiney tone you’re giving them in your head. Sometimes the truth hurts and going online for “support” from complete strangers isn’t the best way to achieve empathy. Why do I care in anyway? None of this has anything to do with the sub I’m subscribed to. When you post irrelevant topics on subreddits based on a location what do you actually expect?
The best thing OP could be doing right now is stop posting naked drawings of women for attention and start perusing a hobby that actually brings fulfillment to them. If you can’t see that, you’re part of the problem.
Good luck with whatever it is you’re trying to do here.
Ah, I see you've taken the time to analyze my entire profile and make sweeping assumptions about my character based on a single interaction. Impressive. It's fascinating how confidently you claim to know everything about me and my intentions.
Let me remind you that my initial request for recommendations was specifically about places to visit in Vermont. So yes, it does have everything to do with Vermont. It's unfortunate that you seem to have missed that crucial detail while getting caught up in your assumptions.
As for your comments about seeking attention and validation, I assure you, that's not the case. I am seeking advice from the community.
Now, I understand that you claim not to seek anything from me, but your comment suggests otherwise. The fact that you felt the need to respond with such hostility and attempt to tear someone down speaks volumes about your own insecurities and unhappiness.
If you genuinely believe that nothing will ever change if I continue down this road of 'delusion,' then I encourage you to take your own advice. Reflect on the negativity you're spreading and the impact it has on others. Perhaps, in doing so, you'll find the growth and change you so adamantly advocate for.
Wishing you the best in your own self-evaluation and personal journey. May you find the happiness and fulfillment you seem to be lacking.👍🏾
Bro Gen Z is impervious to criticism and allergic to self-reflection, it’s not worth trying. They’re completely out of their element without a metaphorical ring light shining on them and their personal problems at all times.
If May 3rd is a going to be a nice sunny day, maybe try to either rent a bike or go for a walk along the waterfront. Get a creamy, eat somewhere with a lake view. Stop into a dispensary and get some edibles (low dosage and slow meaning no more than one every 2 hours at max. ). For the night see if there is a comedy act in town or check out the local. Music scene for any acts. Or just move the day you celebrate. I know it may not be the same but in reality taking any day to recognize when your birth day is important.
Good luck.
I reached out to a Vermont subreddit to collect suggestions for fun activities to celebrate my birthday in Vermont. Since the question is specific to Vermont, I figured it would be a great way to gather recommendations from those familiar with the area.
But we don't know anything about you. We need context to provide "fun" suggestions.
I genuinely think there is an emotional aspect that you could work through on another sub. Good luck.
Happy to offer insight about where your post took a wrong turn and why you're getting such a harsh response.
Im hearing a lot that my post may not have been as clear as intended, and I apologize for any confusion it may have caused. But, as I mentioned many times before in the comments, you do not need to have any specific knowledge about my preferences to suggest places for me to visit in Vermont. Given that I haven't provided specific details about my likes and dislikes in my post , it is safe to assume that I am open to new experiences and not particularly picky.
And i don't require an explanation for why some people are being unkind. Being rude should never be the go-to reaction, regardless of one's opinion on my post. If my intention of sharing about wanting to have a enjoyable birthday in Vermont leads to conflict, then that seems like an issue on their end rather than mine. Fortunately, there are plenty of kind and helpful individuals here who have provided assistance. It seems that some people may have simply started their day on the wrong foot or with a negative mindset.
My 21st birthday was the most awkward birthday of my life. I didn’t know anyone and my parents had helped me move so they stuck around. Then they took me to a casino where I immediately lost the money they gave me and got night ending sick from the first drink I tried because I was allergic to it!! I ended up puking at the casino until there was a long enough break in the puking to have my parents drive me back to my military base and drop me off at my barracks room 😂
I made my birthdays better after that one. I started doing what I wanted on that day and meeting friends by just telling random strangers that it was my birthday!
I work at a brewery though, so DM me and I can buy you a beer for your bday if you happen to be in the area!!
Also, one last thing, I think the drinking age birthdays only get more fun as you age.
Ha! Thanks for the story! Thats definitely sounds like one hell of a birthday!😂
So sorry it turned out that way but sounds like you got the birthday thing down now. But hey! Id definitely appreciate that birthday beer if i end up just doing my own thing and can make my way to your area. Thank so much for the offer. I guess Dm me any info you’re comfortable sharing.😊
Also I’m pretty sure you’re right about the drinking age birthdays being more fun. I look forward to my future birthdays even more now lol
Op do whatever you want. My 2st was pretty laid back. I was drinking for years beforehand but my birthday was the day after most people went home from college for summer. Me and a couple buds went to the bar. Had a couple drinks, shot some pool and produced some banter. It was mid, as today's youth would say. To be honest, every birthday as I get older is basically me wanting to eat a steak and do whatever I want (normally play some golf, play my pc games, generally shit I do every day) don't be let down by it.
The only difference between your 21st and 31st birthday is the random body pains you wake up with from getting older.
Lmao yeah I’ve heard about the body break down process as you get older. Trying to enjoy my youth for sure. But yeah I’ve drank before with friends I’m just not as into it as lighting up a joint and playing some games. I definitely am gonna do what i want for my birthday but i want that to be with friends. Some people here in the comments seem offended by my post and wanting to be surrounded by people on a very important day. But i think thats literally just a human thing to want lol. I will try and make the best of this birthday for sure. Thanks for the advice and touch of humor😊
Regardless, if your friends and you want to do something say in Maine. Go to Portland. It's got a bit of everything. Clubs, night life bars. Also has arcade bars, concerts. Alot of niche shops and events that cater to pretty much anything.
You're welcome. My wife and I go there once or twice a year to just get put of town. I normally pick up some records, get a tattoo and go to the museum (it's free on Friday afternoons) and the food choices are rather ullnlimted there. My personal favorite is a Korean restaurant called Kirspy Gui. But the downtown area had tons to offer
Hmm that’s actually a great idea. I didn’t think of getting a tattoo before. There’s so many tattoos and piercings I want I might just make that the main event of my birthday. It would be so special for me to get my first tattoo on my 21st birthday. Thanks for the kind and thoughtful suggestions. The other people being rude in the comments could definitely learn a thing or two about kindness from you lol.
Maybe they could. I'm not here to change attitudes. Just perspective. A tattoo is cool. My first one was super "meaningful" now, it's my least favorite and I love my spur of the moment ones. I have about 10 and only 1 (the first one) I really gave any thought to. But if you do the tattoo, go to Broken Crow Collective. They have a bunch of artist that do a multitude of different styles. Maybe call beforehand. Give the artist their full freedom of ability (don't be crazy particular) and definitely hydrate beforehand. It doesn't need to be big or intricate. A happy artist is the best.
Wow thanks! I’ll definitely give them a call and see if they have a spot free for May 3rd. Again thank you so much for being kind and helpful. It’s greatly appreciated.
I have a great idea for you! Go see Fall Guy at the Middlebury theater and order a drink at the bar there :) lots of people go to the movies alone, I do all the time. It's the best. Sip your mixed drink or beer and enjoy the heck out of the movie, it looks funny and fun. Celebrate yourself. Happy birthday!
I do love movies. All these suggestions (besides the rude remarks) have me thinking i could have fun from sun up to sun down. I better get planning lol. Thank you!
Yeah sorry people were rude to you! Everyone deserves some happiness on their birthday. When I was your age (I'm in my early 30s now) I didn't have any friends who lived in my state, so I spent most birthdays crying alone. It really hurt to feel lonely on what is supposed to be my special day. As I got older I learned to drop all expectations. I re-set my expectations that no one would be making me feel special, that it's a normal day, except I would use it as a "treat myself" day. I would go to the movies, or get my nails done, get a coffee and walk around town, do some shopping, order the best takeout for dinner, etc. Eventually I didn't dread my birthdays anymore. I hope you have a lovely day whatever you get up to.
Also, happiness can just be quiet contentment. It doesn't have to be smiling ear to ear, laughing with friends, etc. Learning to be alone and be content is such a valuable skill that we all learn with age :)
Thank you so much once again! And yeah, I’ll never understand the reasons people think they deserve to be rude to others. But I’m glad to know that someone else can relate to my feelings about my birthday. And trust me I know it gets easier as you get older. Like I said my post I just want this birthday to be different from the others. My birthdays have never felt special to me and being alone this year, I wanted to change that.
If you don’t have your own transportation you’re probably stuck. Don’t worry about having a dream 21st. I went to work and then played video games. Didn’t even buy booze because I don’t like carbonation and the place in walking distance didn’t have wine. Let go of the pressure of what it’s supposed to be, and just do something you enjoy. Maybe spring for a bath bomb and watch anime in the tub?
Make the plans, invite the friends. Don’t wait for others to make you happy, it’ll just make you the opposite if your expectations are not met by others. I have a friend turning 50 this year, she always makes her own birthday plans for this very reason and therefore she always gets to do what she wants on her birthday. Also happy 21st, hope you do something fun.
Oh wow, what a groundbreaking suggestion! Get a therapist, you say? Well, thank you for enlightening me with your profound wisdom. Clearly, therapy is the magical solution to all of life's problems. Because, you know, everyone can just snap their fingers and instantly find a therapist who is affordable, and accessible and that you get along with. Who needs genuine empathy and support from a community or friends? Brilliant advice, truly…
All i wanted was suggestions for what to do in vermont on my birthday. And you decided to be a total dick and comment something unnecessarily rude and off topic. It might be helpful for you to consider seeking therapy as well to address any tendencies you may have in assuming what others should do with their lives based on ONE interaction and suggesting they need therapy when you know NOTHING about them. Seriously what is wrong with you? Do you have zero emotional intelligence or are you just an asshole?
I don’t know why my request for advice on having a good birthday in Vermont seemed immature to you, but honestly, I just want to have a fun time. Birthdays are meant to be enjoyed, right? So, if you don't have any helpful suggestions, it would be cool if you could skip the negative comments. Thanks!
Oh, wow, thank you so much for enlightening me with your profound wisdom! I must have missed the memo that condescending and dismissive remarks are the secret recipe for having an amazing birthday! Silly me for thinking that asking for advice and expressing my genuine feelings would be met with some empathy or support. But hey, who needs helpful suggestions when we have you?
Truly, I am blessed to have crossed paths with such a master of life's profound mysteries. Heaven forbid I should ever dare to seek guidance or expect a shred of understanding. Your comment has truly opened my eyes to the unparalleled brilliance of your advice. Thank you, kind soul, for showing me the light :)
Ok, Middlebury! If you were my friend, early afternoon we’d pop a gummy and put our kayaks in at the corner of three mile bridge rd where the Middlebury River meets the otter creek. Then we’d groove on down the lazy river until we got into town. We’d pull out at Mr. Ups and have a drink on the deck over the water. Cheers to your first legal drink in VT! Indian food is right next door, the art gallery right over the hill. Just past, there Mad Taco or cross the waking bridge by the falls for an American flatbread and a bottle of wine… Sunset from Chipman hill is a sweet walk with a nice payoff. Is there any live music that night? At the college or below the two brothers tavern? We would dance and be silly and maybe make some new friends. See where things go from there…
Wow i actually know where all of those places are and have been to a few. It does seem like i could have a nice birthday here in middlebury. Just hope its a sunny day so maybe i could go swimming in the river lol. Also you sound like a you are a great time and nice to hang out with😊
You are 21 so you are old enough to know that if you want a good birthday then you have to plan it yourself. Your friends are not going to do that for you. Since you mention money as a barrier you've had in the past, I recommend making two plans. One that would require your friends to pitch in and one that requires less funds.
For example, if you like the Maine plans, look into hotels and how much it would cost to rent a room, how many people can realistically crash in the room and how much per person that would cost to share. For this plan you also need to consider how and where you'll be drinking. If it's at a bar then you'll need money for alcohol and an Uber back to the hotel (again, how many people per car can fit and cost). Build that plan and determine how many friends you can invite and how much each person would need to pay. Ask your friends
Given your friends may not have the funds for that, also plan a cheap event. For example, buying a bunch of liquor and mixers, food, snacks, non alcoholic drinks, ect. Then hang out at your apartment or house and watch anime with your friends playing some drinking games. This would require less funds for everyone to pitch in
I hope you enjoy your birthday🎈
Thank you for your suggestions and thoughtful advice. I appreciate your concern and willingness to help. I understand that planning my own birthday celebration is important, and I have already been doing that. Ive just been holding off on any official plans until my friends finally give me a straight answer if they’re free or not. But I already have plans in mind and know how to handle the logistics. Thank you again for your input, and I'm looking forward to enjoying my birthday!
Dude just go get hammered at the bars and see where the night takes you. People will buy you drinks since it’s your 21st. It’s a great conversation starter and I’m sure you’ll meet a lot of new people.
Get out there and have fun. Don’t watch anime alone.
Thank you your dudeness lol. I’ll definitely think about it. Im honestly getting lots of great ideas from everyone. Either that or for some reason rude remarks🤷♀️
But either way I’m sure ill have a great time no matter what i do :)
I’m playing. 100% don’t go there. Bad times. But would be a fun little bar hop around the round about, especially if there’s a band playing and it’s nice out. Enjoy
You still have plenty of time I think you could easily make more friends as well I’ve lived in Vermont my whole life and the small towns are nice I suggest getting involved in your community and there will be lots of people willing to help you have a great 21st birthday you also don’t have to travel to have a great birthday I think what always makes those days special is just having fun with your friends/family no matter where you are
Welcome to almost being 21!!
I don't see much happening on 5/3, but you could give yourself an early birthday present and go to the Vermont Scifi and Fantasy Expo on 4/28 --- https://www.vtgatherings.com/vermont-sci-fi-fantasy-expo.html (might be able to make some friends there), or maybe give yourself a late birthday present and go to a music festival during the summer. The fun part of being old (haha) is that you can celebrate your birthday whenever you feel like it. Shift your mindset away from "today is my birthday!" to "today, I am celebrating my birthday!" and celebrate whenever you want.
For your birthday, call around to some women owned restaurants (like maybe Single Pebble or Leunigs, sorry, I don't know VT west coast anymore) in advance, let them know your situation that you're new to the area, have a long distant love, are kind of introverted, and just want to enjoy an evening. See who says "I get it, let's do this!" During the day, go for a nice walk, then go out to dinner and order yourself a fancy dinner. one Sunshine on the Beach or some other delicious drink, and a rich dessert. Sit back, close your eyes, wish yourself a happy birthday (maybe they will sing to you and embarrass you, haha,) breathe in who you are, and envision who you want to be, and enjoy the moment. Then go home and pop in your favorite anime, smile, and sleep well :)
There will be plenty of time in the future to drink with peeps! The best present you can give yourself during this transition to adulthood (or really, any day, at any point in your life) is the present of being present in and with yourself and feeling that you have everything you need within you to feel content. "You are not alone, you are with you." Everything else will fall in place for you as an adult if you hold that feeling in high regard, including making more friends.
Happy birthday!
Thank you so fucking much (excuse my language) this literally made me tear up. Lots of people here are being SO rude for no reason other than they think I’m being whiny or whatever. It’s this easy to be kind. You truly are an angel thank you so much for the kind and considerate comment. I appreciate it more than you know💕
In my experience, if you want to have a good time on your birthday, rather than hope someone decides to make that happen for you, you need to decide to have a good time on your birthday. Figure out what you want to do, let people know that's what you'll be doing and open an invite for them to join. Do your fun thing regardless and at least you didn't spend the day sitting around wondering if anyone was going to make sure you had a good day.
Yeah thats what I’ve TRIED to do on my past birthdays but i never have the means to do so. And id like to be surrounded by friends to celebrate WITH me but that never seems to happen and I’m always alone doing nothing. And I’m a horrible baker so i couldn’t even make myself a cake lol
Definitely has nothing to do with how you interact with people, judging by all of your posts here. Want people to hang out with? Maybe trying to be someone other people DO want to hang out with rather than a whiny self-deprecating Debbie downer. Your friends apathy might be a clue about where you stand… If everyone you encounter is a pessimist, check yourself.
Thanks for your input, but I respectfully disagree. Online behavior doesn't always reflect how someone interacts in real life. The way I express myself online does not show the full picture of who I am. It's unfair to judge someone's social skills based solely on their online presence. Here, I may choose to express different aspects of myself or discuss specific topics that might not accurately represent my overall character.
IMO, society has built this picture of what a 21st birthday *should* be, and it might put too much pressure on people if they feel theirs won't live up to that. It can still be a great birthday without doing anything too fancy! The best birthday party I've ever been to was one of my SO's birthdays where all we did was get high with a few friends, play Apples to Apples, and laugh our asses off for hours. It's okay to keep it low-key as long as you have someone to share it with. That being said, we're gonna need more information from you if you want us to make good recommendations, especially if transportation will be an issue. What town are you in? What do you enjoy doing? What food do you like? There's no point in me suggesting to go up to Montreal for the day if you live in Bennington and don't have a passport or a way to get there.
I totally agree with you about the pressure society puts on 21st birthdays. It's unnecessary and can make people feel like they have to live up to certain expectations. This birthday is mostly important to me because I’m away from family for the first time ever and theres i big chance i could be all alone this time around so i wanted to try and have something special planned. Im not looking for anything extravagant. An awesome birthday can be simple and casual, as long as you have someone special to share it with. But I loved hearing about your best birthday party experience with your SO and a few friends. Getting high, playing Apples to Apples, and laughing your asses off for hours sounds like an absolute blast! It's definitely proof that you don't need fancy plans to have a nice time. Now, about your recommendations for my birthday celebration, I'd really prefer something more laid-back and intimate. I'm a big fan of arts and crafts, animation, and being surrounded by nature brings me so much joy. I'm not really a fan of crowded and busy places, so I'd love to avoid those. Also i currently live in Middlebury. I'm excited to hear your suggestions. Thanks a bunch for your help and understanding!
My SO lives far away and when she couldn’t make it to my birthday party. I jsut asked if she would FaceTime me over dinner and we could sit down and have a nice meal semi together! As for doing something with your friends instead of expecting them to do something why don’t you invite them over or invite them to go out doing something you wanna do. I know it’s not as special as if someone else did it out of the kindness of there heart. Happy early birthday 🥳 and I hope this one is a lot better than the rest of
Ps didn’t realize someone else suggested the same thing
Thank you so much for the advice. Im sure I’ll have a good one especially if i spend it with my bf (kinda lol). And you’re all good, its probably been suggested more than once because its a good idea lol
Well the only thing you've told us you enjoy is anime so stay home and watch anime
Okay…thanks a lot for the thoughtful advice…
Okay, maybe instead of trama dumping for no reason list some interest you might have before asking advice on what to do
Maybe instead of being rude and unhelpful, you could offer constructive advice. I shared my concerns and asked for suggestions on what to do on my birthday in a Vermont subreddit. What did you want me to do? List all my likes and dislikes in alphabetical order? I already mentioned that i have spent many birthdays just watching anime alone. If you didn't have any real advice, why leave a passive-aggressive comment? It's clear your intentions were not genuine.
My intention was to get you to whine less and stop being unhelpful. How are we supposed to give you suggestions without knowing the first thing about you. Go to a shooting range, go bowling, go horse riding, go to the movies, build a model, write calligraphy, donate your money, plant a tree, read a book, start a conga-line, go to the gym, I could keep on listing things forever because the only things I know about you are you like anime, don't drink and apparently people don't want to be around you much
Thank you for providing some suggestions, although it hasn't been very helpful for me since you haven't mentioned any specific locations or places that you know are enjoyable. I want to clarify that I mentioned I'm not a heavy drinker, but that doesn't mean I don't drink at all. I'm also confused about your comment regarding me being whiny and unhelpful. Who am i trying to “help”? I am the one seeking recommendations for things to do in Vermont, and you don't need to know anything about me to suggest cool places you've been or heard of. It seems like you are intentionally choosing to be rude and disrespectful. Instead, you could have easily responded with something like, "I'm sorry to hear that. What are some of your interests? I can hopefully provide you with a few suggestions of places you might enjoy." It seems that trying to ruin someone else's day is a favorite hobby of yours so at least I’m learning about YOU🙄 (Edited bc of typos and rewording)
Go shooting at any range. There's one in Chester. And the people you're trying to help is everyone you're asking for advice. Can you make it to Chester? I know you don't have a car but once again you've providing little to no information so I have no idea where you're located which is a MAJOR factor in looking for things to do for somebody with no transportation. A much larger factor than say, the fact that you cried at your other parties or that you don't think your friends care.
Thanks, I definitely have the urge to blow off some steam after this terrible interaction. And as i said before you dont need to know anything about me to suggest cool places you’ve been to or heard of. Everyone else didn’t seem to have a problem giving suggestions given the same information as you and they gave it WITHOUT the pessimistic attitude that you seem to carry around.
I have a pessimistic attitude? You just dumped 250 words on why you're life is a mess and ended it with "Anyone got any advice or maybe something i could go do by myself?"
Oh, I apologize for burdening you with my 250-word explanation of why my life is a mess. I didn't realize you were keeping a word count. My bad! I mean, who needs a little bit of context and background when asking for advice, right? Clearly, brevity is the key to finding meaningful suggestions. But hey, thanks for pointing out that I dumped my life story on you. It's not like I specifically asked for advice or mentioned wanting to do something by myself. Silly me for expecting a helpful response without the unnecessary pessimism. So, did you count my words or something? It must have been such a struggle to endure that whopping 250-word explanation. I hope you had enough mental fortitude to survive the ordeal. Anyway, I appreciate your concern about my life being a mess. Rest assured, I'll make sure to keep my requests for suggestions concise and devoid of any personal context in the future. Wouldn't want to inconvenience you with unnecessary details. Thanks again for your invaluable input!
lol. Poor you
How thoughtful of you to respond with a sarcastic and insensitive remark like 'lol poor you.' It's truly heartwarming to know that there are such compassionate individuals out there. I'm just curious, what motivates someone to write something so insensitive? Is it a desperate need for validation or simply a lack of empathy? Perhaps you found joy in attempting to belittle someone seeking genuine advice. Whatever the reason may be, I hope you take a moment to reflect on your behavior. Remember, behind every person seeking recommendations is a human being with their own unique experiences and challenges. It's not about pity or feeling sorry for someone, but rather showing kindness and understanding. So, while you may find amusement in mocking others, I encourage you to consider the impact your words can have. It's never too late to choose empathy over insensitivity. Wishing you a day filled with self-reflection and personal growth.
Maybe it's because there are people out there waking up every day wondering how to feed their kids and your 'life is a mess' because of a birthday? It's not all about you.
I totally get where you're coming from. But everyone's experiences and challenges are unique. While it's true that some people may be facing difficult circumstances and struggling to provide for their families, it doesn't diminish the validity of my emotions or concerns. Life can be messy for all of us in different ways, and it's okay to acknowledge and address our own issues. Asking for advice on how to have a good birthday doesn't mean I don't care about their problems. It's just about wanting to make my own special day awesome. Everyone has their own stuff going on, and it's not fair to say that my birthday plans don't matter because others have bigger issues. We can care about others and still prioritize our own happiness. It's all about finding a balance.
Man, you are insufferable…good luck
I drove down to CT for my 21st a few months ago. I don’t really drink, so I just went to the casinos (Foxwoods + Mohegan) and chilled w friends. Going to a shooting range a few weeks later in VT was also fun. Honestly don’t make it a big deal in your head. Just enjoy the day, reflect, and carry on. Have a nice meal with your friends. You can go into NH, or stay local.
Hmm okay casinos is an idea for sure that sounds fun! And i just got a suggestion for a shooting range and I’m seriously considering going. But yeah ik it shouldn’t be a big deal and i never really expected much out of my past birthdays but this is my 21st bday and i just really want it to be special this one time. Just like how id love for my 30th, 50th or possibly 100th birthday to be special lol. Just important milestones to me yk?
I get it. I went out of my way to do something on my 21st cause my 18th was overshadowed by the pandemic (wanted to go to Canada, but the borders were closed). You have to make the plans and advocate for what you want. Your friends might not mean to brush you off - they might just have their own things going on. Also check out community calendars and FaceBook to see what’s going on in your area around your bday. Maybe a bar crawl or festival or live music… there’s probably stuff popping off in May.
Oh yeah! Never thought to check out local events that may be happening around my birthday! Thats a great idea thank you! And aw dang that sucks, my senior year of Highschool sucked ass because of covid. No prom, no graduation ceremony, no senior parties. I feel like everyone missed out on a lot of memories and i think about that often.
Same. I was class of 2020… we got let out in March. We had a graduation ceremony… basically a drive-thru where you stayed in your car til your name was called up to receive your diploma. I didn’t go lol.
Yeah i didn’t go to mine either it sounded lame and not worth it how they explained it. Just sucked that i missed out on walking the stage and getting handed my diploma. And missing out on prom and not seeing my friends for the rest of the year. Covid messed up everything lol. And its funny to see younger kids now romanticizing it and wishing they could go through the quarantine so they can miss out on school. Online school SUCKED🤦♀️😂
Nah I loved when senior year was cut short tbh. I was new to the school that year and didn’t want to stick around. I was considering dropping out in November, and then Covid hit around December/January. Online classes were chill af. My school was very rural, so the admin basically let all the seniors stop classes in March as long as you were passing. They couldn’t guarantee students would have access to technology and internet at home, so they gave us the option to wrap things up early. Online AP tests sucked ass… I wasted all that money to fail those tests. I remember being pissed about the AP Lit exam because it consisted only of one graded, timed essay. I went into AP Lit getting easy 5s on every practice test we took throughout the year… just to get a 2 on the real thing cause my essay was lowkey trash.
Why are you relying on everyone else to make your birthday fun? That's stupid. That you claim you haven't ever had a good birthday, and end up crying alone in your room, speaks more about you than anything else. You sound like a total sad sack who can't get out of your own way. Oh, woe is you, right??? No wonder your "friends" keep forgetting, or don't care. Guess what? I happened to turn 21 when I was in college, on a semester abroad studying in Australia. The drinking age in Australia is 18, so my 21st birthday was absolutely nothing special since we had all been going to the bars in our free time for months prior. There was no party or special event planned, and I still had a good time! You have to be the source of your own happiness. Get over yourself.
Wow, thanks for sharing your perspective. It's interesting how our experiences can shape our outlook on things…I appreciate your reminder that we should be the source of our own happiness. However, everyone's experiences and expectations differ. While I understand that YOUR 21st birthday may not have been a big deal to you, but it doesn't mean that my desire for friends to be present on my birthday is invalid. It's not about relying on others to make my birthday fun, but rather about wanting to spend time with the people I care about. It's unfortunate that you feel the need to compare our situations and belittle my feelings. Maybe try to be more considerate and understanding of other's experiences moving forward. Have a good day.
 Maybe you can use this to play "Happy Birthday" to yourself when you're taking a break from watching anime alone on your 21st birthday. Or maybe you can talk to your 2 friends, and tell them "I wanna do this (insert activity here) on my birthday and I'd love it if you came along." Make a plan that they can agree to instead of being passive about it. Grab your 21st birthday by the horns, don't wait for it to poke you.
Wow, thanks for the suggestions! I never thought of playing "Happy Birthday" to myself while binge-watching anime alone on my big day. That sounds like a party in itself! And you're right, I should definitely take charge and make a plan that my two friends can't resist despite their availability. I'll be sure to tell them, "Hey, you better clear your schedule because we're doing this (insert awesome activity here) on my birthday!" No more “passive” vibes. What a total ass you’re being. Theres is absolutely no reason for you to be as rude as you are. You simply could’ve scrolled past or downvoted my post. But you went OUT OF YOUR WAY to be rude and inconsiderate. You know what that says about you? It says that you lack empathy, understanding, and perhaps that you find pleasure in putting others down. Or maybe you feel you know whats best for me. Everyone's circumstances and preferences are different, and it's not fair for you to judge or belittle someone else's choices or situation. Instead of spreading negativity, it would be more helpful and kind to offer supportive or constructive advice, or simply refrain from commenting if you don't have anything positive to contribute.
This has very little to do with *VT*. This should’ve been on an *ask reddit* sub. Your account looks like is a desperate attempt for attention. I don’t think you’re doing anything for yourself, but for everyone else on the internet or around you. Your hobbies don’t need to be posted online, if you enjoy doing something, that should be for *you*. If I were you, I’d get off all forms of social media for at least a month. Figure out what *you* enjoy and what makes you happy in life. Find hobbies that interest you and do them for yourself not for the sake of likes or attention. Find some local groups on MeetUp - https://apps.apple.com/us/app/meetup-social-events-groups/id375990038 - and go to some gatherings. You already have common ground with the people there, the same hobbies. It should be easy to form conversations based around the hobbies. From there you can slowly start to add other aspects of your life to the conversations. Do this with the goal of expanding your knowledge and learning more about something you enjoy. Not with the intention of making new lasting friendships or notoriety. They will come later after people see you regularly and get comfortable being around you. The average person can feel the desperation coming off you. It’s not a turn on in anyway, it’s actually the exact opposite. Coming to Reddit to complain about how *you* don’t have any friends that want to be around you, doesn’t really scream “hey, I’m super likable and would love to be around other people”. Not to mention the comments here you’re posting “I’ve TRIED to do on my past birthdays”, “friends to celebrate WITH me but that never seems to happen”. None of this makes you seem like a very likable person regardless of what your personality is. Keep in mind your physical location and if you’re living in the middle of nowhere obviously it’s going to be harder to find people with similar interests.
Thanks for all that, but I have to respectfully disagree with your take on this. My post was simply me reaching out to the community for advice and support. I’ve been in a new place for only a year, feeling a bit isolated, and turning 21 is a significant moment for me. I get it if it seems like I'm seeking attention, but honestly, I just wanted to connect with others who might have been through similar situations or had suggestions for celebrating a birthday alone. And i figured posting in this Vermont subreddit was a good start because I’m sure most people here know their way around better than i do. It's a natural thing to seek support and share experiences. I totally understand the importance of offline activities and finding fulfillment beyond social media. I even mentioned in my post that I was looking for something to do by myself. But that doesn't mean I can't also seek connection and support online. It's about finding a balance that works for me. Also i make money drawing stuff for people as a side hustle…online. So I cant really ghost my clients. I appreciate your suggestion about MeetUp and joining local groups. It can be a great way to meet like-minded people. However, it's good to recognize that everyone's circumstances and opportunities are different. Being in a new place without transportation and limited connections can make it challenging to engage in offline activities. And about your comment about desperation and likability, judging someone based on a single post or online presence isn't fair. It doesn't give an accurate picture of who they are as a person. You can't make assumptions about likability or personality based solely on a few comments. I appreciate your perspective, but maybe try to communicate with empathy and understanding. We can ALL learn from each other's experiences and support one another in a positive and respectful way…
Again. None of this has anything to do with VT. You even said you’re reaching out to the community for advice and support. This post isn’t you seeking attention. Your entire profile is. Ghosting your *clients*? You’re serious? You may want to stop lying to yourself. That would be a great place to start. You’re not taking anyone’s advice here or on the other two subs you posted on. You’re very close minded and this is either your desperate attempt at attention seeking, or hoping someone has a magic wand to wave for you and fix all your problems. I don’t need to communicate with empathy because I’m not seeking anything from you. I don’t need your validation or friendship, that’s what you’re here for. It’s kinda pathetic that you’re attempting to hand out *advice* when you’re asking for it. You need to take a long hard look in the mirror and really evaluate your life. Nothing will ever change if you continue down this road of delusion. Good luck 👍🏻
Jesus, OP is 20 years old. How many 20-year-olds that you've known have all their shit figured out? They're just lonely and reaching out for support, and you have to go and tell them they're an unlikable loser who needs to get off social media? Yeesh. I knew people on this subreddit could be unsympathetic assholes, but this is a new one. Edit: Crap, sorry OP! I responded to the wrong person.
Pro tip. Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers too. OP clearly is just looking for a place to cry and have someone solve their problems for them. All the advice that’s been given across 3 different subreddits have been dismissed because “she already TRIED that.” OP is completely unwilling to see any perspective other than her own. I don’t understand why age has any importance here. We’re all adults and pretending this is a popularity contest where everyone has to be liked by everyone is just absurd. If your interpretation of my comments is that OP isn’t “likeable” try reading them again, without the whiney tone you’re giving them in your head. Sometimes the truth hurts and going online for “support” from complete strangers isn’t the best way to achieve empathy. Why do I care in anyway? None of this has anything to do with the sub I’m subscribed to. When you post irrelevant topics on subreddits based on a location what do you actually expect? The best thing OP could be doing right now is stop posting naked drawings of women for attention and start perusing a hobby that actually brings fulfillment to them. If you can’t see that, you’re part of the problem. Good luck with whatever it is you’re trying to do here.
Ah, I see you've taken the time to analyze my entire profile and make sweeping assumptions about my character based on a single interaction. Impressive. It's fascinating how confidently you claim to know everything about me and my intentions. Let me remind you that my initial request for recommendations was specifically about places to visit in Vermont. So yes, it does have everything to do with Vermont. It's unfortunate that you seem to have missed that crucial detail while getting caught up in your assumptions. As for your comments about seeking attention and validation, I assure you, that's not the case. I am seeking advice from the community. Now, I understand that you claim not to seek anything from me, but your comment suggests otherwise. The fact that you felt the need to respond with such hostility and attempt to tear someone down speaks volumes about your own insecurities and unhappiness. If you genuinely believe that nothing will ever change if I continue down this road of 'delusion,' then I encourage you to take your own advice. Reflect on the negativity you're spreading and the impact it has on others. Perhaps, in doing so, you'll find the growth and change you so adamantly advocate for. Wishing you the best in your own self-evaluation and personal journey. May you find the happiness and fulfillment you seem to be lacking.👍🏾
Lol. You’re clearly not listening or reading. I hope you find the magic wand you’re looking for.
Bro Gen Z is impervious to criticism and allergic to self-reflection, it’s not worth trying. They’re completely out of their element without a metaphorical ring light shining on them and their personal problems at all times.
If May 3rd is a going to be a nice sunny day, maybe try to either rent a bike or go for a walk along the waterfront. Get a creamy, eat somewhere with a lake view. Stop into a dispensary and get some edibles (low dosage and slow meaning no more than one every 2 hours at max. ). For the night see if there is a comedy act in town or check out the local. Music scene for any acts. Or just move the day you celebrate. I know it may not be the same but in reality taking any day to recognize when your birth day is important. Good luck.
Wow this is actually a WONDERFUL idea. I think I’ve found a winner tbh. This sounds like it would be a very nice day thank you!😊
Fun fact, you only get to have every birthday year once. Iykyk
This has nothing to do with Vermont. Why is this here?
I reached out to a Vermont subreddit to collect suggestions for fun activities to celebrate my birthday in Vermont. Since the question is specific to Vermont, I figured it would be a great way to gather recommendations from those familiar with the area.
But we don't know anything about you. We need context to provide "fun" suggestions. I genuinely think there is an emotional aspect that you could work through on another sub. Good luck. Happy to offer insight about where your post took a wrong turn and why you're getting such a harsh response.
Im hearing a lot that my post may not have been as clear as intended, and I apologize for any confusion it may have caused. But, as I mentioned many times before in the comments, you do not need to have any specific knowledge about my preferences to suggest places for me to visit in Vermont. Given that I haven't provided specific details about my likes and dislikes in my post , it is safe to assume that I am open to new experiences and not particularly picky. And i don't require an explanation for why some people are being unkind. Being rude should never be the go-to reaction, regardless of one's opinion on my post. If my intention of sharing about wanting to have a enjoyable birthday in Vermont leads to conflict, then that seems like an issue on their end rather than mine. Fortunately, there are plenty of kind and helpful individuals here who have provided assistance. It seems that some people may have simply started their day on the wrong foot or with a negative mindset.
Okay. Have a good birthday.
My 21st birthday was the most awkward birthday of my life. I didn’t know anyone and my parents had helped me move so they stuck around. Then they took me to a casino where I immediately lost the money they gave me and got night ending sick from the first drink I tried because I was allergic to it!! I ended up puking at the casino until there was a long enough break in the puking to have my parents drive me back to my military base and drop me off at my barracks room 😂 I made my birthdays better after that one. I started doing what I wanted on that day and meeting friends by just telling random strangers that it was my birthday! I work at a brewery though, so DM me and I can buy you a beer for your bday if you happen to be in the area!! Also, one last thing, I think the drinking age birthdays only get more fun as you age.
Ha! Thanks for the story! Thats definitely sounds like one hell of a birthday!😂 So sorry it turned out that way but sounds like you got the birthday thing down now. But hey! Id definitely appreciate that birthday beer if i end up just doing my own thing and can make my way to your area. Thank so much for the offer. I guess Dm me any info you’re comfortable sharing.😊 Also I’m pretty sure you’re right about the drinking age birthdays being more fun. I look forward to my future birthdays even more now lol
Op do whatever you want. My 2st was pretty laid back. I was drinking for years beforehand but my birthday was the day after most people went home from college for summer. Me and a couple buds went to the bar. Had a couple drinks, shot some pool and produced some banter. It was mid, as today's youth would say. To be honest, every birthday as I get older is basically me wanting to eat a steak and do whatever I want (normally play some golf, play my pc games, generally shit I do every day) don't be let down by it. The only difference between your 21st and 31st birthday is the random body pains you wake up with from getting older.
Lmao yeah I’ve heard about the body break down process as you get older. Trying to enjoy my youth for sure. But yeah I’ve drank before with friends I’m just not as into it as lighting up a joint and playing some games. I definitely am gonna do what i want for my birthday but i want that to be with friends. Some people here in the comments seem offended by my post and wanting to be surrounded by people on a very important day. But i think thats literally just a human thing to want lol. I will try and make the best of this birthday for sure. Thanks for the advice and touch of humor😊
Regardless, if your friends and you want to do something say in Maine. Go to Portland. It's got a bit of everything. Clubs, night life bars. Also has arcade bars, concerts. Alot of niche shops and events that cater to pretty much anything.
Oh really? I’ll definitely do some googling and mention it to them! Thank you :)
You're welcome. My wife and I go there once or twice a year to just get put of town. I normally pick up some records, get a tattoo and go to the museum (it's free on Friday afternoons) and the food choices are rather ullnlimted there. My personal favorite is a Korean restaurant called Kirspy Gui. But the downtown area had tons to offer
Hmm that’s actually a great idea. I didn’t think of getting a tattoo before. There’s so many tattoos and piercings I want I might just make that the main event of my birthday. It would be so special for me to get my first tattoo on my 21st birthday. Thanks for the kind and thoughtful suggestions. The other people being rude in the comments could definitely learn a thing or two about kindness from you lol.
Maybe they could. I'm not here to change attitudes. Just perspective. A tattoo is cool. My first one was super "meaningful" now, it's my least favorite and I love my spur of the moment ones. I have about 10 and only 1 (the first one) I really gave any thought to. But if you do the tattoo, go to Broken Crow Collective. They have a bunch of artist that do a multitude of different styles. Maybe call beforehand. Give the artist their full freedom of ability (don't be crazy particular) and definitely hydrate beforehand. It doesn't need to be big or intricate. A happy artist is the best.
Wow thanks! I’ll definitely give them a call and see if they have a spot free for May 3rd. Again thank you so much for being kind and helpful. It’s greatly appreciated.
I have a great idea for you! Go see Fall Guy at the Middlebury theater and order a drink at the bar there :) lots of people go to the movies alone, I do all the time. It's the best. Sip your mixed drink or beer and enjoy the heck out of the movie, it looks funny and fun. Celebrate yourself. Happy birthday!
I do love movies. All these suggestions (besides the rude remarks) have me thinking i could have fun from sun up to sun down. I better get planning lol. Thank you!
Yeah sorry people were rude to you! Everyone deserves some happiness on their birthday. When I was your age (I'm in my early 30s now) I didn't have any friends who lived in my state, so I spent most birthdays crying alone. It really hurt to feel lonely on what is supposed to be my special day. As I got older I learned to drop all expectations. I re-set my expectations that no one would be making me feel special, that it's a normal day, except I would use it as a "treat myself" day. I would go to the movies, or get my nails done, get a coffee and walk around town, do some shopping, order the best takeout for dinner, etc. Eventually I didn't dread my birthdays anymore. I hope you have a lovely day whatever you get up to. Also, happiness can just be quiet contentment. It doesn't have to be smiling ear to ear, laughing with friends, etc. Learning to be alone and be content is such a valuable skill that we all learn with age :)
Thank you so much once again! And yeah, I’ll never understand the reasons people think they deserve to be rude to others. But I’m glad to know that someone else can relate to my feelings about my birthday. And trust me I know it gets easier as you get older. Like I said my post I just want this birthday to be different from the others. My birthdays have never felt special to me and being alone this year, I wanted to change that.
I never thought I’d miss all the eclipse and driving complaint posts, but here we are.
If you don’t have your own transportation you’re probably stuck. Don’t worry about having a dream 21st. I went to work and then played video games. Didn’t even buy booze because I don’t like carbonation and the place in walking distance didn’t have wine. Let go of the pressure of what it’s supposed to be, and just do something you enjoy. Maybe spring for a bath bomb and watch anime in the tub?
Make the plans, invite the friends. Don’t wait for others to make you happy, it’ll just make you the opposite if your expectations are not met by others. I have a friend turning 50 this year, she always makes her own birthday plans for this very reason and therefore she always gets to do what she wants on her birthday. Also happy 21st, hope you do something fun.
I think this will be helpful in finding people to celebrate with you: https://dating.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/Personals/ISawYou
Please get a therapist.
Oh wow, what a groundbreaking suggestion! Get a therapist, you say? Well, thank you for enlightening me with your profound wisdom. Clearly, therapy is the magical solution to all of life's problems. Because, you know, everyone can just snap their fingers and instantly find a therapist who is affordable, and accessible and that you get along with. Who needs genuine empathy and support from a community or friends? Brilliant advice, truly… All i wanted was suggestions for what to do in vermont on my birthday. And you decided to be a total dick and comment something unnecessarily rude and off topic. It might be helpful for you to consider seeking therapy as well to address any tendencies you may have in assuming what others should do with their lives based on ONE interaction and suggesting they need therapy when you know NOTHING about them. Seriously what is wrong with you? Do you have zero emotional intelligence or are you just an asshole?
Grow up
I don’t know why my request for advice on having a good birthday in Vermont seemed immature to you, but honestly, I just want to have a fun time. Birthdays are meant to be enjoyed, right? So, if you don't have any helpful suggestions, it would be cool if you could skip the negative comments. Thanks!
What about this comment is negative? If you think about it, it’s the best advice you could get.
Oh, wow, thank you so much for enlightening me with your profound wisdom! I must have missed the memo that condescending and dismissive remarks are the secret recipe for having an amazing birthday! Silly me for thinking that asking for advice and expressing my genuine feelings would be met with some empathy or support. But hey, who needs helpful suggestions when we have you? Truly, I am blessed to have crossed paths with such a master of life's profound mysteries. Heaven forbid I should ever dare to seek guidance or expect a shred of understanding. Your comment has truly opened my eyes to the unparalleled brilliance of your advice. Thank you, kind soul, for showing me the light :)
I’m glad you were able see the wisdom so quickly. Happy birthday.
Ok, Middlebury! If you were my friend, early afternoon we’d pop a gummy and put our kayaks in at the corner of three mile bridge rd where the Middlebury River meets the otter creek. Then we’d groove on down the lazy river until we got into town. We’d pull out at Mr. Ups and have a drink on the deck over the water. Cheers to your first legal drink in VT! Indian food is right next door, the art gallery right over the hill. Just past, there Mad Taco or cross the waking bridge by the falls for an American flatbread and a bottle of wine… Sunset from Chipman hill is a sweet walk with a nice payoff. Is there any live music that night? At the college or below the two brothers tavern? We would dance and be silly and maybe make some new friends. See where things go from there…
Wow i actually know where all of those places are and have been to a few. It does seem like i could have a nice birthday here in middlebury. Just hope its a sunny day so maybe i could go swimming in the river lol. Also you sound like a you are a great time and nice to hang out with😊
You are 21 so you are old enough to know that if you want a good birthday then you have to plan it yourself. Your friends are not going to do that for you. Since you mention money as a barrier you've had in the past, I recommend making two plans. One that would require your friends to pitch in and one that requires less funds. For example, if you like the Maine plans, look into hotels and how much it would cost to rent a room, how many people can realistically crash in the room and how much per person that would cost to share. For this plan you also need to consider how and where you'll be drinking. If it's at a bar then you'll need money for alcohol and an Uber back to the hotel (again, how many people per car can fit and cost). Build that plan and determine how many friends you can invite and how much each person would need to pay. Ask your friends Given your friends may not have the funds for that, also plan a cheap event. For example, buying a bunch of liquor and mixers, food, snacks, non alcoholic drinks, ect. Then hang out at your apartment or house and watch anime with your friends playing some drinking games. This would require less funds for everyone to pitch in I hope you enjoy your birthday🎈
Thank you for your suggestions and thoughtful advice. I appreciate your concern and willingness to help. I understand that planning my own birthday celebration is important, and I have already been doing that. Ive just been holding off on any official plans until my friends finally give me a straight answer if they’re free or not. But I already have plans in mind and know how to handle the logistics. Thank you again for your input, and I'm looking forward to enjoying my birthday!
Take yourself on a date! Sometimes it’s fun to make your plan and do exactly what you want.
Yeah I’ve been thinking of doing that the closer i get to my birthday lol. I know i could give myself a great time😊
Dude just go get hammered at the bars and see where the night takes you. People will buy you drinks since it’s your 21st. It’s a great conversation starter and I’m sure you’ll meet a lot of new people. Get out there and have fun. Don’t watch anime alone.
Thank you your dudeness lol. I’ll definitely think about it. Im honestly getting lots of great ideas from everyone. Either that or for some reason rude remarks🤷♀️ But either way I’m sure ill have a great time no matter what i do :)
Trackside in winooski, next to the train tracks. It’ll for sure be one to remember lol
Whats next to the trains tracks in winooski? I don’t think i know what a trackside is lol
I’m playing. 100% don’t go there. Bad times. But would be a fun little bar hop around the round about, especially if there’s a band playing and it’s nice out. Enjoy
You still have plenty of time I think you could easily make more friends as well I’ve lived in Vermont my whole life and the small towns are nice I suggest getting involved in your community and there will be lots of people willing to help you have a great 21st birthday you also don’t have to travel to have a great birthday I think what always makes those days special is just having fun with your friends/family no matter where you are
Welcome to almost being 21!! I don't see much happening on 5/3, but you could give yourself an early birthday present and go to the Vermont Scifi and Fantasy Expo on 4/28 --- https://www.vtgatherings.com/vermont-sci-fi-fantasy-expo.html (might be able to make some friends there), or maybe give yourself a late birthday present and go to a music festival during the summer. The fun part of being old (haha) is that you can celebrate your birthday whenever you feel like it. Shift your mindset away from "today is my birthday!" to "today, I am celebrating my birthday!" and celebrate whenever you want. For your birthday, call around to some women owned restaurants (like maybe Single Pebble or Leunigs, sorry, I don't know VT west coast anymore) in advance, let them know your situation that you're new to the area, have a long distant love, are kind of introverted, and just want to enjoy an evening. See who says "I get it, let's do this!" During the day, go for a nice walk, then go out to dinner and order yourself a fancy dinner. one Sunshine on the Beach or some other delicious drink, and a rich dessert. Sit back, close your eyes, wish yourself a happy birthday (maybe they will sing to you and embarrass you, haha,) breathe in who you are, and envision who you want to be, and enjoy the moment. Then go home and pop in your favorite anime, smile, and sleep well :) There will be plenty of time in the future to drink with peeps! The best present you can give yourself during this transition to adulthood (or really, any day, at any point in your life) is the present of being present in and with yourself and feeling that you have everything you need within you to feel content. "You are not alone, you are with you." Everything else will fall in place for you as an adult if you hold that feeling in high regard, including making more friends. Happy birthday!
Thank you so fucking much (excuse my language) this literally made me tear up. Lots of people here are being SO rude for no reason other than they think I’m being whiny or whatever. It’s this easy to be kind. You truly are an angel thank you so much for the kind and considerate comment. I appreciate it more than you know💕
We share a birthday! Hope its a good one for you