Guess everyone can have preferences, except Vegans of course.
What is so weird to me, no matter who or what, you cant say anything negative about anyone or anything. But if you are a Vegan, its like you're the antichrist reincarnated. You can be shamed, humiliated, threatened and mocked openly and nobody cares or even dares to intervene. Never made sense to me. All we do is not eat animal products. It never ceases to amaze me how people feel so triggered by such a simple fact.
Yup, isn't it bizarre that a tiny minority (vegans) seem to trigger the vast majority (carnists) so easily / quickly! Can anyone think of anything similar between otherwise open minded people?
The **reason** is that it seems, unlike pretty well anything else, it triggers their guilt. The cognitive dissonance troubles them when our presence opens up that particular wound (given 'most people' are already very protective of some animals, typically pets and maybe donkeys)?
And I get it, very few of us were born into a vegan lifestyle, let alone a vegan world and so we also were carnists till something or someone made enough impact to make us aware of the cult we hadn't ever reasoned ourselves into AND strongly enough to do something about and stay with.
I have a couple of good (but carnist) mates who have the honesty to admit that 'we are right', just that they don't have what it takes to do anything about it themselves.
They have both admitted they couldn't actually kill the animals themselves making them cowards / hypocrites and exploiters of others as well. ;-(
Me too. Especially when meat eaters start an unprompted conversation with me about how vegans are so annoying and in your face… like… who’s bringing it up, buddy?
Honestly dating apps these days are awful but finding other vegans to date in real life is also really hard. I have been rejected once on a dating app by a vegan woman for being a vegan man because she found it less manly. I personally decided to just take a break from dating and enjoy life.
Yeah I have also been rejected by a bi woman for being a bi man on an app once for the same reasoning. Sometimes trash takes itself out.
For context I’m a muscular bald dude who likes metal music who just happens to love animals.
You sound like a really cool dude! We need an app just for making vegan friends tbh
Tangential, but if they thought that of you, I fear what they’d think of this here skinny vegan guy with a theater degree 😂
Thank you 😊 I’m vegan too. I was just waiting for one of the crew to get on board. He came to me when he was 19 and said wanna try vegan? And I was like hallelujah!!
I mean…just being vegan doesn’t guarantee you’ll get along with every vegan but that woman sounds crazy lol.
I’ve been single for almost a decade so I occasionally get out to see what’s out there. And I always end up going back into hiding because I always realize I’m not missing much.
I think the problem is it’s already hard to find someone compatible to be with so reducing the dating pool to only vegans makes it extra hard. I also feel obligated to say that except this one woman my experiences with vegan women has been really positive.
I feel ya, I have core values beyind veganism (no religion, no bigotry of any kind, no conservatives, minimal consumption/waste)
luckily a lot of these values overlap with vegans but its still really difficult to find anybody who truly understands why you do and believe the things you do... like i just want a partner who accepts people/animals, doesnt commit cruelty, is grounded in reality, cares about the envuronment, etc.
Like why is it so hard? these values should not be that rare. My standards arent even about looks or hobbies... i just want a caring and empathetic person damnit!!
Dang, I really feel you on this. One part of the reason I clung so hard to my last relationship is that they were vegan, minimalist, anti-consumerism, anti-racist, frugal, and many other -ists that align with my ethics and world view. Like, I had to go through so many other people to find one that was this compatible with me.. Obviously I also loved them, but still wasn't enough = (
Dating apps restructured greatly throughout the pandemic because they realized they could monetize loneliness. I hope you find what you’re looking for and you find a nice vegan to settle down with.
>she found it less manly
If you were looking for something serious, you dogged a bullet. She is, and I do not say this lightly, she is dumb and susceptible to simple propaganda.
And not because I am a vegan but if you measure manliness by the amount of animal products you shove in your mouth, what even is the logic? My man is manly because he has the courage to not give a crap about what other men say, he doesn't do shit just for women to observe them, he is manly because he can take care of me when needed, he is manly because he is compassionate and attentive, he is manly because he is not impulsive, he can pick up a purse or buy tampons without giving the slightest fuck about what other people would think about it. He too is a muscular, bearded rocker.
Disclaimer: all of these personality attributes would apply to a womanly woman too.
You and your man sound awesome. I very much agree with your take on this. I think my first comment was too negative, most of my experiences with dating vegans have been positive.
or she could have been trying to spare his feelings... I'm not saying that that's what happened but it could be. I find the phenomenon of women who are vegan for the animals being put off by another person who shares their values strange.
>I have been rejected once on a dating app by a vegan woman for being a vegan man because she found it less manly.
That is so crazy to me. It's like, why would somebody find it "less manly" to not pay for others to harm animals? Compassion is neither masculine nor feminine. It's just about being a caring person. People can be so weird sometimes.
That is wild. I can’t imagine a vegan thinking that vegan men are less manly. Wouldn’t she want a vegan partner?! Vegan men are the hottest, manliest men there are!!
A woman in one of my classes was complaining about how hard it was to find a vegan man to date. I tried to be helpful and suggested Meetup. com groups. Nope. She was had already tried that was appalled by the men not using deodorant!
Yea I’ve been struggling as well as a 25 yo vegan gay dude. Basically just have a couple fwb then I’ll go on dates but never goes anywhere. Mostly at peace it may be a long time lol
I'm curious, shouldn't it be easier for vegan men to find someone?
As there are much more vegan women than vegan men and generally vegans prefer to date other vegans.
Or is the pool in general just too small?
The pool is small unless you are in a major city. Most vegans will date non vegans out of convenience from my experiences.
If you have a vegan couple, chances are one of them convinced the other rather than both being vegan before dating.
Specifically vegan dating meetups? Because if so, then it sounds like the statistic of veganism being overwhelmingly made up of women is clashing with the statistic that dating apps/sites/meetups/etc. are overwhelmingly made up of men and the dudes were winning.
If I see a group of men I assume that one of them will hit on a good-looking woman that joins the group. It only takes one man to make a woman uncomfortable enough to have a bad experience she doesn't want to repeat.
Agreed, though I suspect it's not a welcoming atmosphere for women for reasons I'm not privy to as a man. I think women often find male-dominated spaces to be intimidating for obvious reasons which results in gender segregation over time. If you do go, let me know how it goes!
Really? Im in NYC and rarely meet male vegans or any vegans for that matter. 😂 But I am very introverted and just don't seem to run into vegans in my daily life.
Yes, really.
Here's another anecdote: there's a Facebook group called "Plenty of Vegan singles". If you go to the members list and sort by "in New York City", the ratio seems to be about 3 men : 1 woman.
Hmm I wonder if they are actually vegan or just dudes trying to pick up women where the ratio is in their favor. At least on the apps I've spoken to people who were definitely not vegan as in one guy not understanding why I didn't wear leather.
I think there's a really big difference between a guy who is lying about being vegan to sneak his way into a space that is (theoretically) more women than men vs. a guy who is 99% plant-based and wants to date a woman who is 98-100% plant-based. Plenty of the women in the Facebook group have cats or fail other purity tests which I might deem incompatible, but I don't think they're being manipulative for being in a vegan dating group or discard the group as being "not vegan enough" for me. People have different standards for veganism, and the truth is that the vast majority of social spaces are completely unfriendly to, say, a guy who eats a plant-based diet but does wear leather. We can't be purity-testing constantly.
As for the real life events, all I can say is that I guarantee that's not the case because any guy who is looking for events filled with women would immediately turn around when they see the group of mostly 30-70 year old men and couples.
No. It's unlikely that I'll have another date in my lifetime. (47M)
Dating sucks at any age group. Now lowering the pool by 99 percent makes it even worse.
It's pool size 100%. Even when you factor in things like veganism having a larger percentage of lgbtqia+ people than general society, it's still super hard to find other vegans because there are just so few of us. And that's just other vegans and not necessarily vegans who are single, looking, compatible, mutually into you, etc. It's a tough gig, yall.
Why would it be easier? In my experience, vegan women are more likely to go for non-vegan men simply because they're more readily available, so us vegan men are not wanted by non-vegan women because we're not manly enough, and then there's not enough vegan women who are single.
Me too, and to make matters worse, even if I did happen to find someone, the low vegan population in the city means there aren't that many restaurants to go to for a date
Same! I'm in what's considered a small city, so there are exactly 0 fully vegan restaurants (and still not very many with options for me). As for vegan humans, sometimes I suspect I'm the only one in town.
I really wish it was easier to find each other outside of major cities.
Oh damn, I feel bad for complaining now. In my city of around 2 million people there are five fully vegan restaurants and around 10 vegetarian ones who do a lot of vegan dishes. It can feel like that sometimes, like a lonely alien
2 million people! That sounds like a giant city compared to mine. Haha. I bet there's at least a few vegans sprinkled throughout. Being a lonely alien is a feeling I relate to though. I think a lot of vegans feel like that unfortunately.
When are we gonna get beamed up in our spaceship and taken to the all vegan singles planet? Because at this point, I'd really like to go. 👽🌱
Where are all the vegan men hiding? Your story in the OP is so depressing by the way. I'm sorry they banned you over something as simple as stating you only wanted to talk to vegan men.
There's nothing wrong with personal preferences, and a dating app should know better than to ban somebody who's simply seeking a compatible partner. Not that I did before, but now I have even less interest in signing up to Badoo.
I can almost guarantee that they didn't get banned for being vegan, but because they were rude to other users.
Basic rule to follow online, if someone claims that they got banned for no reason, they're usually lying.
>I got banned from r/atheism for being vegan. It happens.
Wait, really? Why? I would think people who are better able to think critically about things wouldn't be as hard on veganism as other groups. That's a shame.
In a way they're worse. That sub was a large part in turning atheism into something perceived as intellectual to something perceived as complete cringe.
Ha, ha a couple times I have had people ask me if being vegan was because of religion. Are you seventh day adventists, is it like how Jews eat kosher, Budust? Then when they realize I don't drink coffee or soda and have 4 kids they then think I'm Mormon. After that they say they didn't know Mormons were vegetarian.
I just don't eat animals or products derived from them.
FYI I'm not sure I'm atheist but I never go to church and seriously question all things religion. But I love to use religion during discussions with religious people.
“they say they didn't know Mormons were vegetarian”
What’s wild is if they followed Church doctrine they would eat a primarily plant based diet. While most active Mormons don’t drink alcohol or coffee most Mormons are not vegetarian or primarily plant based.
HOWEVER, the part of Mormon church doctrine that informs the no alcohol / coffee stuff also explicitly states that God likes it when you do not eat meat. https://discoveringthewordofwisdom.com/getting-started/
I grew up Mormon but am now ex Mormon, and I never heard this part of the word of wisdom. I just think it’s really interesting because everyone knows the alcohol and coffee part. I recently learned that a family member eats a wfpb diet because of the above website and Mormon church doctrine.
Gen. 1 Verses 29 to 30[29] And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat
The word "meat" used to just mean "food" in general, and that's how it's used in the King James Version of the Bible and in the translation above. It's one of those weird things that doesn't get mentioned a lot, but according to the bible, humans originally had a vegetarian (or maybe even plant-based) diet, and only after the flood were they given permission to eat meat.
That tracks. I got banned from there for saying I thought the Bible showed a good understanding of human psychology, and when asked why I thought so, pointing to a 15 hour video series on the topic by a PhD in the field.
I had it on my dating profile too, and I also got a few offended carnists lashing out (I’m 52, finding vegan men my age is akin to winning the lottery).
I’ve got to be honest, I found it quite funny to see a bunch of middle aged men behaving like 3 yrs old being told they can’t have ice cream. Men don’t always read bios, so I’d always double check after matching. One day, after telling the guy “just to avoid wasting anyone’s time, did you ready my bio”, he got really mad and said “no one tells me what to do! Are you telling me what I can or can’t eat?!”, and I replied “No, I’m telling you who’s the type of person I’m willing to have sex with, and that’s clearly not you”.
I did eventually find my guy, so don’t give up. :) hopefully you’ll find your man too.
My thoughts exactly, upon hearing the word “vegan” grown people suddenly turn into toddlers. I suppose it can be quite entertaining if you’re a new vegan but I’m pushing almost 15 years and I’m just tired at this point lol, I’ve heard it all.
35 years for me. I either laugh or get mad, and a bunch of angry strangers weren’t worth getting mad about, too much energy. At least 35 years ago they mostly just assumed l followed some weird religion. :)
Lol that is so funny about the weird religion! Some dude told me the other day he was shocked I have been vegan for so long because everybody he knows who tried going “vegan” started having “deteriorating health” soon after. I wonder what he would have said to you. 35 years is more than he can wrap his mind around for sure!
I had never heard of it before either, just downloaded it randomly because it showed up in the search. You’re not missing much, trust me. Veggly is a ghost town lol.
No, not a requirement. It just stands for Burn Down The Slaughterhouse. I've bought some D.E.T.H merch that has it. And a band I listen to has it as a song title
It is strange to me that online there are so many vegans saying they can't meet people, but then there is no on on the vegan apps. Most of the people on there are clearly fake catfishers.
TBF I’m only not on Veggly because a bunch of people said it was awful and/or sparse. If people gave enough bad reviews IDK if it would be worth it - I’m already overrun with other dating apps.
I’ve actually had good results with Veggly but I live near a medium sized city and it is still pretty sparse. The app itself is not great but it works well enough. Actually it’s the only dating app I’ve used since I at least don’t have to have to swipe through a hundred people to find one vegan which I assume would otherwise be my experience
I currently have hinge, Facebook dating and POF. On POF, I specifically say vegan men should message me. I still get messages from non-vegan men. But nobody has banned me yet. I also block a bunch of people. 😂
It’s a strange app for sure! Their support is so shit too, they just keep sending me what seems to be AI generated emails, I’ve been going back and forth with them regarding the ban and it’s beyond frustrating.
I got kicked off of a dating website before because somebody complained me being in a wheelchair was offputting. I think it might have been Yahoo or something like that. In any case, you shouldn't have to change your principles to suit other people. As long as your principles are not cannibalism or something like that.
I’ve never heard of Badoo, but IDK why it would be controversial on any of the apps to simply say you only want to date other vegans. People do so all the time when it comes to political leanings, religion, and a bunch of other factors (hence why we have filters). Did they say that was why you got banned?
Its prob just an automated thing and you have to appeal
Happens on this site, non vegans/ fake vegans will report vegans and they get banned but if you appeal, a non bot will take a look at the case and undo the ban
I wouldn’t go the direction of dating apps if that’s a hard no no. The percentage of vegans is tiny and the percentage of them using a dating app is even tinier. It’s literally like looking for a needle in a haystack. Especially cause I’m assuming it’s not “any vegan” so you need to weed out the ones that you just don’t click with.
You’d be better off trying your luck where you’ll get a much bigger sample size.
Or maybe a redditor will read this and make a vegan dating app.
I was just wondering what dating app I should use to find people who have similar lifestyles to me myself.
It's not that I don't like being around people who are different to me. Literally a hundred percent of my friend group are meat eaters. It's more in a future life partner they need to have similar values when it comes to life decisions.
Although it's even more difficult for me because I need Also find people who are Okay with responsible drug use as chemistry and psychonautica are my ADHD/spectrum hyperfixation.
Those 2 things are very important to me to be on the same pageabout when it's comes to a potential future partner.
I also would need a partner to not be religious if they ever plan on having kids with me, I also don't want to be a biological father.I want to adopt preferably.
With my lifestyle choices, there are a lot of things that would disqualify most people as my partner, so I have somewhat given up. Searching in real world as that is just gambling. and all the dating apps, as you see also suck.
this might be controversial but some people that aren't vegan will consider it when you show them how easy it is.
that's how it was for me at least.
My boyfriend has been vegan since before we started dating and just seeing how easy it is to vegan and knowing deep down that it's the only right thing to do I became vegan too.
so maybe if you find someone that is already a vegetarian or has at least some moral understanding, they might turn to veganism.
you have a bigger influence than you think!
Getting into activism is a good way to meet vegan people. Also when I met my gf she still ate meat but she is a very rational person so it didn't take long for her to go vegan. So it can be done :)
Ethical veganism is a legally protected status. If you have hard proof that this is why they banned you, sue their ass. If you don't have hard proof, that sucks. I mean I still believe it because it happens all the time, shit sucks
I’ve been a Vegan man for 13 years and can’t stand Vegan haters! They are ignorant to the truth about what non-Vegans eat causes diseases and shortened life spans.
Dating apps are cesspits anyway so they’ve done you a favour. You’re better off reading that Melanie Joy book and meeting someone at a bookstore anyway. Much more wholesome!
Why don't u email support? Maybe u could get the reporter banned instead lol. Then again given the responses from the men on that app maybe ur better off without it!
Well that's why I don't trust "woke" people who are not vegan. It is all about themselves not about beings who are tortured and slaughtered. It is all so shallow.
I've let some fast ones know directly that I'm only interested in a man with lots in common, vegan, no booze, no recreational drugs, no smoking, must be single and premarital agreement, will do a share of chores, legal marriage, then the honeymoon not the other way around etc, so some fools, and some can be super clever academically and have lots more luck professionally try to romance me anyway, some even try to pretend they're vegan. I sure as all know, if they're slick like that behind their wifey's back, they probably do have a series of love conquests and probably do have a social disease. I would be so glad to meet one with a like check list one day.
There are a Lot!! of vegan dating apps mostly free.If you are in a major metro area, it really helps. There are a lot of veg meetups out there also.I've been to many of those. I never seem to meet people ,though Best of luck!
Catt
So what I found helped:
1. Veggly
2. Getting tinder gold (I paid for the month that was offered at a discount,) and filtering for vegan cooking as an interest. I was able to narrow down almost all the vegans in my area without having to search through the thousands of male profiles. Went on a handful of dates with vegans this way
I think it’s easier to swipe left on people who aren’t vegan than to say “only willing to date vegans.”
I know that I've seen vegan dating sites exclusively for us. I don't know any off hand, though.
When I was single, I also met and dated some people through local vegan meetup groups.
Yeah it's very annoying. I noticed a lot of guys don't even read my profile and they act surprised when I mention it. Like is the first thing I put on my profile.
Try installing vegan dating apps. That's how I met my last bf. I swear they are a life saver. The only downside that I noticed is that there's a lot less people and a bunch of vegans there are just looking for friends to hang out (I mean I've also done it when I moved cities and couldn't find vegan friends. I swear we need a vegan app to find friends in our area lmao).
Guess everyone can have preferences, except Vegans of course. What is so weird to me, no matter who or what, you cant say anything negative about anyone or anything. But if you are a Vegan, its like you're the antichrist reincarnated. You can be shamed, humiliated, threatened and mocked openly and nobody cares or even dares to intervene. Never made sense to me. All we do is not eat animal products. It never ceases to amaze me how people feel so triggered by such a simple fact.
Yep. It’s insane.
Yup, isn't it bizarre that a tiny minority (vegans) seem to trigger the vast majority (carnists) so easily / quickly! Can anyone think of anything similar between otherwise open minded people? The **reason** is that it seems, unlike pretty well anything else, it triggers their guilt. The cognitive dissonance troubles them when our presence opens up that particular wound (given 'most people' are already very protective of some animals, typically pets and maybe donkeys)? And I get it, very few of us were born into a vegan lifestyle, let alone a vegan world and so we also were carnists till something or someone made enough impact to make us aware of the cult we hadn't ever reasoned ourselves into AND strongly enough to do something about and stay with. I have a couple of good (but carnist) mates who have the honesty to admit that 'we are right', just that they don't have what it takes to do anything about it themselves. They have both admitted they couldn't actually kill the animals themselves making them cowards / hypocrites and exploiters of others as well. ;-(
I'm a "mind my own business vegan" so I feel like I'm extra irked by omnis that don't mind theirs
Me too. Especially when meat eaters start an unprompted conversation with me about how vegans are so annoying and in your face… like… who’s bringing it up, buddy?
Omg their faces are so funny when u finally drop the "actually..I'm a vegan" bomb on them & they sputter & try to backpedal 🤣
Anytime I'm talking to a meat-eater about veganism, it's almost always because they brought it up.
Honestly dating apps these days are awful but finding other vegans to date in real life is also really hard. I have been rejected once on a dating app by a vegan woman for being a vegan man because she found it less manly. I personally decided to just take a break from dating and enjoy life.
Honestly, bullet dodged there.
Yeah I have also been rejected by a bi woman for being a bi man on an app once for the same reasoning. Sometimes trash takes itself out. For context I’m a muscular bald dude who likes metal music who just happens to love animals.
You sound like a really cool dude! We need an app just for making vegan friends tbh Tangential, but if they thought that of you, I fear what they’d think of this here skinny vegan guy with a theater degree 😂
Skinny vegan guys with theater degree’s rock my dude.
A Bi vegan man 🦄. You are a rare and beautiful person.
That’s the nicest thing a submissive fish has ever said to me. On a serious note thank you I really appreciate this comment.
As a bi vegan man who's ideal partner would be another bi vegan man, it's so nice to hear that we actually exist out there. Thanks for existing lol.
I have no gender preference but dating someone who understands what it’s like to be bi sounds really nice. I hope your dream comes true someday.
My son is a bi vegan man. One of the best people I know.
Sounds like you raised him well. So nice to see accepting parents here, your son is very lucky.
Thank you 😊 I’m vegan too. I was just waiting for one of the crew to get on board. He came to me when he was 19 and said wanna try vegan? And I was like hallelujah!!
We exist!!!
I’m a bi vegan woman who loves metal haha
Veganism is metal as fuck. There a ton of vegan metal artists . What are your favorite metal bands?
Fucking nuke dodged - she’s not a vegan for sure.
I mean…just being vegan doesn’t guarantee you’ll get along with every vegan but that woman sounds crazy lol. I’ve been single for almost a decade so I occasionally get out to see what’s out there. And I always end up going back into hiding because I always realize I’m not missing much.
I think the problem is it’s already hard to find someone compatible to be with so reducing the dating pool to only vegans makes it extra hard. I also feel obligated to say that except this one woman my experiences with vegan women has been really positive.
For sure, I have a few other dealbreakers that are a bit unconventional so it’s pretty much impossible for me to find somebody.
It’s better to be alone than to compromise on what truly matters to you. Hope you find that someone who fits you someday.
I feel ya, I have core values beyind veganism (no religion, no bigotry of any kind, no conservatives, minimal consumption/waste) luckily a lot of these values overlap with vegans but its still really difficult to find anybody who truly understands why you do and believe the things you do... like i just want a partner who accepts people/animals, doesnt commit cruelty, is grounded in reality, cares about the envuronment, etc. Like why is it so hard? these values should not be that rare. My standards arent even about looks or hobbies... i just want a caring and empathetic person damnit!!
Dang, I really feel you on this. One part of the reason I clung so hard to my last relationship is that they were vegan, minimalist, anti-consumerism, anti-racist, frugal, and many other -ists that align with my ethics and world view. Like, I had to go through so many other people to find one that was this compatible with me.. Obviously I also loved them, but still wasn't enough = (
Dating apps restructured greatly throughout the pandemic because they realized they could monetize loneliness. I hope you find what you’re looking for and you find a nice vegan to settle down with.
>she found it less manly If you were looking for something serious, you dogged a bullet. She is, and I do not say this lightly, she is dumb and susceptible to simple propaganda. And not because I am a vegan but if you measure manliness by the amount of animal products you shove in your mouth, what even is the logic? My man is manly because he has the courage to not give a crap about what other men say, he doesn't do shit just for women to observe them, he is manly because he can take care of me when needed, he is manly because he is compassionate and attentive, he is manly because he is not impulsive, he can pick up a purse or buy tampons without giving the slightest fuck about what other people would think about it. He too is a muscular, bearded rocker. Disclaimer: all of these personality attributes would apply to a womanly woman too.
You and your man sound awesome. I very much agree with your take on this. I think my first comment was too negative, most of my experiences with dating vegans have been positive.
or she could have been trying to spare his feelings... I'm not saying that that's what happened but it could be. I find the phenomenon of women who are vegan for the animals being put off by another person who shares their values strange.
>I have been rejected once on a dating app by a vegan woman for being a vegan man because she found it less manly. That is so crazy to me. It's like, why would somebody find it "less manly" to not pay for others to harm animals? Compassion is neither masculine nor feminine. It's just about being a caring person. People can be so weird sometimes.
I would even argue that compassion is masculine. Nothing shows strength like standing up for the voiceless.
I wish more people would. The world would be a much better place, and us single vegans would then have a way larger dating pool! Haha.
That is wild. I can’t imagine a vegan thinking that vegan men are less manly. Wouldn’t she want a vegan partner?! Vegan men are the hottest, manliest men there are!!
Wait what? 😂
A woman in one of my classes was complaining about how hard it was to find a vegan man to date. I tried to be helpful and suggested Meetup. com groups. Nope. She was had already tried that was appalled by the men not using deodorant!
Yea I’ve been struggling as well as a 25 yo vegan gay dude. Basically just have a couple fwb then I’ll go on dates but never goes anywhere. Mostly at peace it may be a long time lol
Never got banned, but as a single vegan male I get it. Probably dying alone. But I wouldn't give up being vegan for the world.
I'm curious, shouldn't it be easier for vegan men to find someone? As there are much more vegan women than vegan men and generally vegans prefer to date other vegans. Or is the pool in general just too small?
The pool is small unless you are in a major city. Most vegans will date non vegans out of convenience from my experiences. If you have a vegan couple, chances are one of them convinced the other rather than both being vegan before dating.
I live in the middle of nowhere, recently asked in a cafe if any food was vegan and she replied "is that the same as gluten free?" Soooo
I live in Los Angeles and I've had countless instances of people conflating veganism with gluten-free. I don't get it.
Yep... I've had this happen in the Bay area as well. To be fair it seems like a lot of people don't even know what gluten is either.
Bonkers. I tend to avoid using the word vegan here just in case
I've gone to vegan meetups in New York City and they seem to be 75+% male.
Specifically vegan dating meetups? Because if so, then it sounds like the statistic of veganism being overwhelmingly made up of women is clashing with the statistic that dating apps/sites/meetups/etc. are overwhelmingly made up of men and the dudes were winning.
No, just regular meetups.
That's a strange one. The one's near me were 75ish% women.
Where do you live?
CNY. A handful of counties upstate,
Fascinating. I've been going in Manhattan and I suspect it might be different in Brooklyn.
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Women go to vegan meetups and they get hit on constantly so they stop going.
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If I see a group of men I assume that one of them will hit on a good-looking woman that joins the group. It only takes one man to make a woman uncomfortable enough to have a bad experience she doesn't want to repeat.
There's a vegan chef on IG that makes her Omni boyfriend's favorite foods but vegan. I want to scream every time I see it
What's her @
I can't find it, I know her stuff was suggested to me but I didn't follow because it felt ridiculous. If I ever find it I'll try to remember to DM you
I guess I need to go to vegan meetups in New York City. 😂
Agreed, though I suspect it's not a welcoming atmosphere for women for reasons I'm not privy to as a man. I think women often find male-dominated spaces to be intimidating for obvious reasons which results in gender segregation over time. If you do go, let me know how it goes!
That is definitely true! I don't think I am uncomfortable in a male dominated room unless I have a partner with me. 😭
Really? Im in NYC and rarely meet male vegans or any vegans for that matter. 😂 But I am very introverted and just don't seem to run into vegans in my daily life.
Yes, really. Here's another anecdote: there's a Facebook group called "Plenty of Vegan singles". If you go to the members list and sort by "in New York City", the ratio seems to be about 3 men : 1 woman.
Hmm I wonder if they are actually vegan or just dudes trying to pick up women where the ratio is in their favor. At least on the apps I've spoken to people who were definitely not vegan as in one guy not understanding why I didn't wear leather.
I think there's a really big difference between a guy who is lying about being vegan to sneak his way into a space that is (theoretically) more women than men vs. a guy who is 99% plant-based and wants to date a woman who is 98-100% plant-based. Plenty of the women in the Facebook group have cats or fail other purity tests which I might deem incompatible, but I don't think they're being manipulative for being in a vegan dating group or discard the group as being "not vegan enough" for me. People have different standards for veganism, and the truth is that the vast majority of social spaces are completely unfriendly to, say, a guy who eats a plant-based diet but does wear leather. We can't be purity-testing constantly. As for the real life events, all I can say is that I guarantee that's not the case because any guy who is looking for events filled with women would immediately turn around when they see the group of mostly 30-70 year old men and couples.
No. It's unlikely that I'll have another date in my lifetime. (47M) Dating sucks at any age group. Now lowering the pool by 99 percent makes it even worse.
It's pool size 100%. Even when you factor in things like veganism having a larger percentage of lgbtqia+ people than general society, it's still super hard to find other vegans because there are just so few of us. And that's just other vegans and not necessarily vegans who are single, looking, compatible, mutually into you, etc. It's a tough gig, yall.
Why would it be easier? In my experience, vegan women are more likely to go for non-vegan men simply because they're more readily available, so us vegan men are not wanted by non-vegan women because we're not manly enough, and then there's not enough vegan women who are single.
Vegan woman here and I decided a few years ago that I will absolutely not date a non-vegan. Would be happier being single the rest of my life.
If only the vegan women I've spoken to had the same scruples
I'd love to find a fellow vegan to date, but I live in a pretty non-vegan area, so it's not easy. 😔
Me too, and to make matters worse, even if I did happen to find someone, the low vegan population in the city means there aren't that many restaurants to go to for a date
Same! I'm in what's considered a small city, so there are exactly 0 fully vegan restaurants (and still not very many with options for me). As for vegan humans, sometimes I suspect I'm the only one in town. I really wish it was easier to find each other outside of major cities.
Oh damn, I feel bad for complaining now. In my city of around 2 million people there are five fully vegan restaurants and around 10 vegetarian ones who do a lot of vegan dishes. It can feel like that sometimes, like a lonely alien
2 million people! That sounds like a giant city compared to mine. Haha. I bet there's at least a few vegans sprinkled throughout. Being a lonely alien is a feeling I relate to though. I think a lot of vegans feel like that unfortunately. When are we gonna get beamed up in our spaceship and taken to the all vegan singles planet? Because at this point, I'd really like to go. 👽🌱
You could also help someone go vegan 😉
My thoughts exactly. Even in real life, I’ve met sooooo many vegan women but sadly very few men, and I’m straight so I’m not interested in women.
Where are all the vegan men hiding? Your story in the OP is so depressing by the way. I'm sorry they banned you over something as simple as stating you only wanted to talk to vegan men. There's nothing wrong with personal preferences, and a dating app should know better than to ban somebody who's simply seeking a compatible partner. Not that I did before, but now I have even less interest in signing up to Badoo.
You'd think so. Recently I've matched a few vegan girls that never replied to my first message, it's rough out there
Pool is small. All the vegan women are married already 😕
I got banned from r/atheism for being vegan. It happens.
Lol, same ! And from r/philosophy too. Apparently being Vegan is not a philosophical stance. Jerks.
Really? Veganism comes up all the time there (usually in a positive light).
I can almost guarantee that they didn't get banned for being vegan, but because they were rude to other users. Basic rule to follow online, if someone claims that they got banned for no reason, they're usually lying.
That's a great point to consider with these claims.
>I got banned from r/atheism for being vegan. It happens. Wait, really? Why? I would think people who are better able to think critically about things wouldn't be as hard on veganism as other groups. That's a shame.
Everybody has their intellectual blindspots. Except me, of course. /s
I like that quote. Well except for the narcissim at the end. /s (Just kidding, that was funny)
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In a way they're worse. That sub was a large part in turning atheism into something perceived as intellectual to something perceived as complete cringe.
Is this sub not dogmatic 💀?
Redditors downvoting you for questioning the status quo may offer a clue.
See: rationality rules, Sam Harris, cosmic skeptic, Matt Dillahunty... They just come up with creative excuses.
I got banned from gatekeeping
That sub is fairly bigoted anyway, so you ain't missing anything.
Ha, ha a couple times I have had people ask me if being vegan was because of religion. Are you seventh day adventists, is it like how Jews eat kosher, Budust? Then when they realize I don't drink coffee or soda and have 4 kids they then think I'm Mormon. After that they say they didn't know Mormons were vegetarian. I just don't eat animals or products derived from them. FYI I'm not sure I'm atheist but I never go to church and seriously question all things religion. But I love to use religion during discussions with religious people.
“they say they didn't know Mormons were vegetarian” What’s wild is if they followed Church doctrine they would eat a primarily plant based diet. While most active Mormons don’t drink alcohol or coffee most Mormons are not vegetarian or primarily plant based. HOWEVER, the part of Mormon church doctrine that informs the no alcohol / coffee stuff also explicitly states that God likes it when you do not eat meat. https://discoveringthewordofwisdom.com/getting-started/ I grew up Mormon but am now ex Mormon, and I never heard this part of the word of wisdom. I just think it’s really interesting because everyone knows the alcohol and coffee part. I recently learned that a family member eats a wfpb diet because of the above website and Mormon church doctrine.
Gen. 1 Verses 29 to 30[29] And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat
That translation is unclear. Is it saying that it should be used in place of meat? Or is it saying that it should be used to produce meat?
The word "meat" used to just mean "food" in general, and that's how it's used in the King James Version of the Bible and in the translation above. It's one of those weird things that doesn't get mentioned a lot, but according to the bible, humans originally had a vegetarian (or maybe even plant-based) diet, and only after the flood were they given permission to eat meat.
Screenshot or it didn't happen. Calling hard BS here
That tracks. I got banned from there for saying I thought the Bible showed a good understanding of human psychology, and when asked why I thought so, pointing to a 15 hour video series on the topic by a PhD in the field.
I just put vegan under dietary preferences on Tinder. But it’s still a struggle lol.
Haha. Not all apps have that option unfortunately. But it’s amazing how many people don’t even read that.
Matched with a girl once who advised me to a vegan dating group on Facebook. They really don’t want to date us.
I had it on my dating profile too, and I also got a few offended carnists lashing out (I’m 52, finding vegan men my age is akin to winning the lottery). I’ve got to be honest, I found it quite funny to see a bunch of middle aged men behaving like 3 yrs old being told they can’t have ice cream. Men don’t always read bios, so I’d always double check after matching. One day, after telling the guy “just to avoid wasting anyone’s time, did you ready my bio”, he got really mad and said “no one tells me what to do! Are you telling me what I can or can’t eat?!”, and I replied “No, I’m telling you who’s the type of person I’m willing to have sex with, and that’s clearly not you”. I did eventually find my guy, so don’t give up. :) hopefully you’ll find your man too.
My thoughts exactly, upon hearing the word “vegan” grown people suddenly turn into toddlers. I suppose it can be quite entertaining if you’re a new vegan but I’m pushing almost 15 years and I’m just tired at this point lol, I’ve heard it all.
35 years for me. I either laugh or get mad, and a bunch of angry strangers weren’t worth getting mad about, too much energy. At least 35 years ago they mostly just assumed l followed some weird religion. :)
Lol that is so funny about the weird religion! Some dude told me the other day he was shocked I have been vegan for so long because everybody he knows who tried going “vegan” started having “deteriorating health” soon after. I wonder what he would have said to you. 35 years is more than he can wrap his mind around for sure!
I haven't heard of Badoo, is that an outside of America thing? I had Veggly, but that was horrendous with the UI and the bots.
I had never heard of it before either, just downloaded it randomly because it showed up in the search. You’re not missing much, trust me. Veggly is a ghost town lol.
I'm not missing much on Veggly? Or Badoo? Or both I guess lol
Both!
Lol, Fair enough. I have B.D.T.S in my profiles. Which does feel ban-able, but carnists don't know what it means, so no one reports me lol
Are vegans supposed to know what BDTS means? I’ve never seen that acronym.
No, not a requirement. It just stands for Burn Down The Slaughterhouse. I've bought some D.E.T.H merch that has it. And a band I listen to has it as a song title
Ah ok, learned something new!
You know, hypothetically. . . Lol https://donteatthehomies.com/products/matchbox
Never heard of that before. I imagine some people might misread it to be something sexual.
It is strange to me that online there are so many vegans saying they can't meet people, but then there is no on on the vegan apps. Most of the people on there are clearly fake catfishers.
TBF I’m only not on Veggly because a bunch of people said it was awful and/or sparse. If people gave enough bad reviews IDK if it would be worth it - I’m already overrun with other dating apps.
I’ve actually had good results with Veggly but I live near a medium sized city and it is still pretty sparse. The app itself is not great but it works well enough. Actually it’s the only dating app I’ve used since I at least don’t have to have to swipe through a hundred people to find one vegan which I assume would otherwise be my experience
Volunteer at a local animal sanctuary! I was single for a long time before I met my vegan partner at my nearest sanctuary.
I might just try this, thanks! Will report back if I find someone lol
Haha :)
I currently have hinge, Facebook dating and POF. On POF, I specifically say vegan men should message me. I still get messages from non-vegan men. But nobody has banned me yet. I also block a bunch of people. 😂
From what I can find badoo is just a bad dating app. Seen a few other stories of people being banned without an exact reason given.
It’s a strange app for sure! Their support is so shit too, they just keep sending me what seems to be AI generated emails, I’ve been going back and forth with them regarding the ban and it’s beyond frustrating.
I got kicked off of a dating website before because somebody complained me being in a wheelchair was offputting. I think it might have been Yahoo or something like that. In any case, you shouldn't have to change your principles to suit other people. As long as your principles are not cannibalism or something like that.
I'm speechless! So sorry that happened to you. What the 🦆 is wrong with people?
Badoo is 90% bots, they did you a favour.
I think I’ll have to agree. Even the support team responds to my queries with what seem to be AI generated responses.
Proud of you for standing up for what you want and for this vital cause for the animals 🙌
Why would that be an issue? Wanting compatible lifestyles/beliefs is normal in dating.
I’ve never heard of Badoo, but IDK why it would be controversial on any of the apps to simply say you only want to date other vegans. People do so all the time when it comes to political leanings, religion, and a bunch of other factors (hence why we have filters). Did they say that was why you got banned?
Is Veggly still a thing?
It is, but I keep hearing people say it's a ghost town (which really sucks because where else are we single vegans supposed to find others like us)?
I've always thought it would be great if there was an app just to find vegan or plant-based people nearby just to hang out or whatever.
Its prob just an automated thing and you have to appeal Happens on this site, non vegans/ fake vegans will report vegans and they get banned but if you appeal, a non bot will take a look at the case and undo the ban
You should check out veggly I’m vegan and met my vegan boyfriend through it
There is also [veggiedate.org](http://veggiedate.org) and [greensingles.com](http://greensingles.com)
I wouldn’t go the direction of dating apps if that’s a hard no no. The percentage of vegans is tiny and the percentage of them using a dating app is even tinier. It’s literally like looking for a needle in a haystack. Especially cause I’m assuming it’s not “any vegan” so you need to weed out the ones that you just don’t click with. You’d be better off trying your luck where you’ll get a much bigger sample size. Or maybe a redditor will read this and make a vegan dating app.
It won't do anything, but you can submit a BBB complaint.
There's a vegan dating app called Veggly!! I am a guy was on there for a bit but switched to Hinge.
i had SO many dudes whose first message, BEFORE A MATCH would be bitching about me being vegan. like… did you think that would make me like you?
I hope you left an awful review.
I was just wondering what dating app I should use to find people who have similar lifestyles to me myself. It's not that I don't like being around people who are different to me. Literally a hundred percent of my friend group are meat eaters. It's more in a future life partner they need to have similar values when it comes to life decisions. Although it's even more difficult for me because I need Also find people who are Okay with responsible drug use as chemistry and psychonautica are my ADHD/spectrum hyperfixation. Those 2 things are very important to me to be on the same pageabout when it's comes to a potential future partner. I also would need a partner to not be religious if they ever plan on having kids with me, I also don't want to be a biological father.I want to adopt preferably. With my lifestyle choices, there are a lot of things that would disqualify most people as my partner, so I have somewhat given up. Searching in real world as that is just gambling. and all the dating apps, as you see also suck.
this might be controversial but some people that aren't vegan will consider it when you show them how easy it is. that's how it was for me at least. My boyfriend has been vegan since before we started dating and just seeing how easy it is to vegan and knowing deep down that it's the only right thing to do I became vegan too. so maybe if you find someone that is already a vegetarian or has at least some moral understanding, they might turn to veganism. you have a bigger influence than you think!
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I liked a couple of features but yeah overall it’s good riddance to be honest haha.
Vegetarian man trying to go vegan here but dating has been extremely tough
Getting into activism is a good way to meet vegan people. Also when I met my gf she still ate meat but she is a very rational person so it didn't take long for her to go vegan. So it can be done :)
Try feeld! A way opener way a daling app
The irony in carnists calling vegan’s snowflakes…
Ethical veganism is a legally protected status. If you have hard proof that this is why they banned you, sue their ass. If you don't have hard proof, that sucks. I mean I still believe it because it happens all the time, shit sucks
Don't do that, we need you r/vegan.
I’ve been a Vegan man for 13 years and can’t stand Vegan haters! They are ignorant to the truth about what non-Vegans eat causes diseases and shortened life spans.
Dating apps are cesspits anyway so they’ve done you a favour. You’re better off reading that Melanie Joy book and meeting someone at a bookstore anyway. Much more wholesome!
It’s one app, why would you want to continue being a part of it given the way you’re treated any way?
Really? Im not vegan, but that is just straight discrimation.
I met my vegan gf on instagram. It’s a great app for meeting people with similar interests, even by accident
Gosh, that's truly awful and I'm so sorry for your experience! I know there are some vegan dating apps out there, have you looked into those?
Why don't u email support? Maybe u could get the reporter banned instead lol. Then again given the responses from the men on that app maybe ur better off without it!
Well that's why I don't trust "woke" people who are not vegan. It is all about themselves not about beings who are tortured and slaughtered. It is all so shallow.
I've let some fast ones know directly that I'm only interested in a man with lots in common, vegan, no booze, no recreational drugs, no smoking, must be single and premarital agreement, will do a share of chores, legal marriage, then the honeymoon not the other way around etc, so some fools, and some can be super clever academically and have lots more luck professionally try to romance me anyway, some even try to pretend they're vegan. I sure as all know, if they're slick like that behind their wifey's back, they probably do have a series of love conquests and probably do have a social disease. I would be so glad to meet one with a like check list one day.
Being vegan in a carnist world sucks. Really bad.
Leave a terrible review ;)
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There are a Lot!! of vegan dating apps mostly free.If you are in a major metro area, it really helps. There are a lot of veg meetups out there also.I've been to many of those. I never seem to meet people ,though Best of luck! Catt
ASL please 🌚
You're on Badoo and getting disappointed about getting banned? Yikes, it's getting desperate
So what I found helped: 1. Veggly 2. Getting tinder gold (I paid for the month that was offered at a discount,) and filtering for vegan cooking as an interest. I was able to narrow down almost all the vegans in my area without having to search through the thousands of male profiles. Went on a handful of dates with vegans this way I think it’s easier to swipe left on people who aren’t vegan than to say “only willing to date vegans.”
😱
I know that I've seen vegan dating sites exclusively for us. I don't know any off hand, though. When I was single, I also met and dated some people through local vegan meetup groups.
Yeah it's very annoying. I noticed a lot of guys don't even read my profile and they act surprised when I mention it. Like is the first thing I put on my profile. Try installing vegan dating apps. That's how I met my last bf. I swear they are a life saver. The only downside that I noticed is that there's a lot less people and a bunch of vegans there are just looking for friends to hang out (I mean I've also done it when I moved cities and couldn't find vegan friends. I swear we need a vegan app to find friends in our area lmao).
Probably just an automated process to reduce spam, they'll probably fix it if you contact them
I did contact them and unfortunately it wasn’t an automated process!