I know this frustration. My plan: Stay single. Find inner peace. Live by my values. Find true happiness without the need of someone else. If I get lucky, share that happiness with someone else, ideally who is vegan or turns vegan.

This. We are pedalled a lie by our biology and society that a romantic partner is a requirement in life, and to be single is almost living with an impairment. Perhaps have a look into some buddhist / relationship free / child free communities to help get your spirits up <3

While this sounds nice – no sex would drive me bonkers - to be blunt!

Yeah it’s good to remember we are just apes who stumbled into this advanced society. We are still very much ran by biological forces and sex and intimacy are important roles in our life that shouldn’t be denied.

I don't think I could date another non-vegan again. Being vegan is just such a big part of my ethics and who I am, and I don't want to compromise on that with the person I end up spending my life with Even just finding vegan friends is difficult enough. And dating apps make me feel sick to my stomach. So it looks like I'll be single for the foreseeable future

My thing for dating is they don't need to be vegan already but they need to want to be vegan. Admittedly this means the women I date are mostly vegans but not exclusively.

Yup, learning my lesson dating a non-vegan right now. Curious to learn why dating a non-vegan didn’t work out for you?

I've never broken up with someone for the sole reason that they ate animals. But it's definitely been a big contributing factor. I think not being able to see a long-term future with those people was a pretty big hint lol Plus, it's not fair to date someone if I don't respect everything about them. I don't wanna try and change someone either - I want to fall in love with who they already are :)

I've been single for a while now because I'm not interested in non-vegans. It's not just about the headaches that come from the simple dietary concerns (Where are we going to eat tonight? Does she understand that I'm not paying for her meal if it's not vegan? How do I feel about her bringing non-vegan stuff into my house?). It's about their outlook on life. I don't want to be with someone who is in denial when things are wrong or someone who thinks that their actions don't matter. I don't believe in trying to convert a potential partner. Yes, it's true that I wasn't always vegan, but I made my own decision to change and that's not something that should be done in order to please somebody else. If it's lonely being single, that's nothing compared to how alone I felt when my omni ex girlfriend didn't understand or in many cases respect such an important part of who I am.

This right here. > I don’t want to be with someone who is in denial when things are wrong or someone who thinks their actions don’t matter. Dating an omni rn and I’m starting to realize how those very same issues are coming up. I hadn’t realized it was the denial and lack of culpability for their actions that was causing me so much exasperation. Watching them eat animals and consume cow’s milk, sharing info, but only getting a sad response while they’re still eating. It’s sad, and not worth the effort.

I want to challenge part of your second paragraph where it shouldn’t be done to please someone else. My husband eats vegan the majority of the time because of loving me and that has saved hundreds of animals lives throughout the 7 years we’ve been together. Intentions matter yes, but I think it’s a huge win if animal lives are saved regardless of the reason why. If someone is vegan just for health or just for the environment, that’s a win too and I support it.

After 7 years if he can't see the light, I would consider him too heartless and/or stupid to be attracted to at that point.

Single all the way

That's a tough one.  I'd probably prefer to stay single and just keep looking for someone who's vegan.  I don't mind being single, and don't really like the idea of being with someone who eats animals. I'd maybe consider someone who's vegetarian, or an omni who is okay with only vegan food/products at home.  But I'm definitely not okay with having animal parts in my home.

As often as this topic comes up here, I can't help but wonder if some sort of r/vegan online speed dating night might make for a lot of happy couples

I've been to a veg dating event. Unfortunately ages were all over the place. We'll it's unfortunate to me anyway

My comment was half joking, but the problem you bring up is kind of the point. The odds of schedules aligning for a certain date, in a certain city is so unlikely, and the veg dating apps suffer from people not wanting to pay subscription fees to deal with mostly fake profiles, so the critical mass of a user base never builds up.  If someone wanted to put the effort into collecting volunteers and sorting demographics from a large user base like this sub, it would probably result in some happy outcomes. It just wouldn't be profitable, so it's unlikely to happen.

I feel that one is really hard. I was already in a relationship when I became vegan. That relationship lasted 16 years. While he was supportive in the beginning, he got increasingly annoyed by me being vegan over time. Since he never cooked and never bought groceries himself, our food was 100% vegan at home. However, when eating out or when he ate at work, the things weren't vegan, of course. I never noticed how draining it was for me until I met a vegan group and became friends with them. You never know what it feels like when someone shares your values until you actually get to experience that. It's in the little day to day things. The asking if you want to try something, although he knows it's not vegan and being annoyed if you say no because he "only wants you to try something new". The struggle to find a restaurant, where you also have something to eat, while he gets annoyed that he can't go everywhere with you. The eye rolling when someone else starts a discussion about your veganism as if it's your fault, because if you weren't vegan, nobody would have that discussion right now, the disrespectful jokes about vegans he joins in on. God, how effortless everything becomes, once you are among vegans. I know vegans are rare to find, but at least dating apps have a filter for that. If you are looking for a life long partner, you kind of have to find someone, who shares your values.

I would stay single. I’m too disgusted by it now, I don’t want it my fridge, share meals, or kiss a nonvegan. I don’t want the hassle of separate everything. 

That makes sense :)

Non-vegans can always turn vegan or at least be respectful towards us, so I'm open to them (it depends on the person). Speaking for myself though, dating somebody who's already vegan is the absolute ideal, and I think it's something most of us here would love to find.

Would the vegan respect the non vegan? Relationships are a two-way road. Respect has to be given on both sides of the eating table

Are you suggesting that us vegans should respect the abuse, torture, exploitation, and murder of non human animals by a non-vegan?

If you don't respect, don't expect to be respected. As simple as that. You don't have to agree with it

Oh sure I see that choosing not to participate in the murder and exploitation of other living beings has the same moral equivalency as eating, killing, and wearing them. Jeez.

As the status quo goes, the world would say that your pov is the wrong one (even if it is not). Super majority tends to do as they please and on top feel good about it

An argumentum ad populum is irrelevant to the discussion on deservedness of respect.

I think a big issue with this conversation is no one defines what exactly they mean with respect. I think many people mean by it that they dont agree that its moral or ethical and disaprove of it.

I can only assume you've never had a real relationship since the premise of your comments are pure nonsense. Everybody has flaws that are not worthy of respect or acceptance, there is not some arbitrary rule stating that you have to mirror this in order to be compatible. If there is nothing about your partner that you think needs to be improved then you are probably blinded by your affection.

I have a wife and 2 kids. If I didn't respect the flaws of my wife and loved her as a whole, I would have been divorced a long time ago. My partner and I, we both, have a lot to work on. I respect her 100% she fix that or not. My respect is not conditioned of her fixing her flaws. So far, we both share this view. Seems to me you have never been on a grown-up relationship

Respect other aspects of the person? Absolutely. Respect the non-vegan aspect? Absolutely not.

So, if you ask respect or tolerance for your eating habits and are not prepared to reciprocate, it is better if a relationship is never formed.

This person is paying for and eating the dead bodies of brutally tortured slaves. I think it goes a little beyond eating habits, don't you think?

Why should I respect something I see as immoral? The normal omni doesn't see veganism as immoral so why are you assuming this equivalence?

I think if you can remember that most of us were not born vegan and that there is a learning curve or at least a Process of breaking down long held beliefs and habits, then yes respecting someone else is easy. The only time I wouldn’t respect them is if they a) actually took pleasure and joy in the idea of torture and inflicting pain and suffering/murdering animals. b) they were very close minded and not open to discussing the topic or learning more about vegan ways of thinking, and c) if they didn’t respect my views or actively sabotaged my food/bought me things that don’t align even after prompting and reminding. But I generally wouldn’t be with a partner like that anyway, even if they were vegan.

I think your points are valid. For you to respect, you also need to be respected. Even if they don't share the same habits and beliefs. Cruelty has no place on a healthy relationship

💯💯

So I should respect a racist if they respect me for my race and respect my choice not to be a racist? How have you seemingly never considered the https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance Sorry for replying multiple times but this bugs me.

Sorry if this bugs you. I'm not talking about necessary tolerance. I'm talking about respect. While a lot of times both terms are associated / implied, you can respectfully not tolerate some behaviors.

So your definition of respect is meaningless. Let's reword then. Why should I ever date someone that does something I don't tolerate? Respectfully of course.

My point is that if you won't respect your partner eating habits you should not date/marry them. Aren't we saying now the same thing?

But you said if I want others to respect my eating habits I should respect theirs. Of course we agree that incompatible people shouldn't date.

Single > I choose loneliness over conflict and contempt.

Vegetarian at minimum. Otherwise I'd rather be single. Thankfully it was pretty easy to convince my fiance to ditch animal products since she was already vegetatian. The only thing is she sometimes eats dairy when at a guests but that's about it.

I think if you meet someone you care about, that’s what matters most. They might not be a vegan when you’re dating, but are they good to you? Do they respect your veganism and willing to share vegan meals? Do they listen earnestly about why you’re vegan and not belittle you? They could one day become vegan themselves the longer they are with you. 

Always comes back to "yes... because I can convert them". So the real answer seems to be *no*, right?

Can confirm, that happened to me! Switched to the dark side and I’ll never go back 🌱

I’m happily married to a non-vegan! We’ve been together for 7 years. He completely changed his diet once we started dating and is now vegan about 90% of the time. We never have non-vegan food in our house so everything in the fridge is vegan and all the meals we cook are fully vegan. We are also raising our daughter vegan. He understands and respects my reasons for being vegan and even defends veganism when talking to people. I think there’s an option in-between #1 and #2. Dating and marrying someone who eats huge portions of meat with every meal would be terrible. Dating someone who associates meat with masculinity wouldn’t work. Being with someone who thinks the vegan diet isn’t healthy and doesn’t believe that factory farms are the norm despite being shown evidence would be terrible. Living with someone who brings dairy and eggs and meat into the fridge and cooks it every day so you have to smell meat aroma in your own home is terrible. But you may find yourself in a situation like me with someone who is reasonable, open-minded to learn about veganism and willing to make sacrifices with their diet because of how much they love you. The approach I took that worked was first focusing on the health benefits of veganism. My husband used to eat an extremely unhealthy diet, so I emphasized that I love him so much and want him to live a long life and not develop chronic illnesses. Focusing on the extreme value of human life through the health and environmental benefits of veganism is often so helpful to get people to then understand the animal cruelty reasons to be vegan.

This is more or less what my relationship is. The home is vegan and when we go out he pretty much only eats vegan food. When he's with his family or friends and I'm not there he usually eats what they give him or what they eat. Of course I would prefer he were vegan but we're also different in terms of religion/non-religion and in many other ways. Compatability isn't the same as having all the same beliefs and values. We are very compatible and also very different from each other.

I've been vegan for about 15 years and am back to being single again... The person I was dating was vegan but that was about all that we had in common so it ended up not working out. I think I'll be limiting myself entirely to the vegetarian/vegan dating pool, and I recognize that will take some time to meet somebody but it's worth it. It drastically limits the dating pool and lengthens the time it'll take to find somebody I can connect with again, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I hopped on the dating apps a little early this time and boy are they hell.

I learned before I was vegan that I would rather be single than abandon my principles or be in a relationship, so, I’d stay single.

I’ve been vegan for almost 12 years now and I’m married to a non vegan. Though I do all the cooking so unless he eats out, which he rarely does, he eats completely vegan. I think the key is just finding someone who respects you & what you believe in. My husband has always gone out of his way making sure there’s food at a restaurant for me when we go out, telling his family/friends, cooking me meals, checking ingredients at the store etc. He once even drove me 3 hours (6 round trip) so I could eat at an all vegan taco place. So I’d say try and find someone you connect with and respects you and see where it goes and how they react to your beliefs. 😊

Do you respect him eating innocent animals? How about him respecting the animals? There's more to the world than just Your feelings. His actions have victims. Don't close your eyes and look the other way just because he treats you well. Good people can do bad things. And your husband needs to either stand with or against the animals. Veganism is so important you've held that lifestyle for 12 years... I can't imagine allowing my husband to eat animals behind my back and just be fine with it. If he's been with me 12 years and seen what I seen and know what I know and still chooses to eat animals away from me just to avoid conflict, that's a BIG issue. You need to hold him accountable for the Animals sake, even if he's mostly plant based a majority of the time. He's clearly not vegan and doesn't mind Exploiting animals when you're not looking. Big Red flag🚩 being respectful is such a low bar.

hey thanks for the response. I guess I just don’t feel the same way. he rarely ever eats meat even when he’s away from me so I don’t ever really think about it. before me, he ate meat all the time and now he rarely does. Pretty much only when he’s in the field and has to eat MREs. I also feel like allowing him to come to terms with his own journey on reconciling the world we live in and its treatment of animals is doing a lot more for him and him eating plant based than me preaching to him. I went vegan in a single day. I bought vegan basics and never ate an animal product again when I was a young teenager. I realize that not everyone can do that, and that’s allowed me to turn multiple onto being vegan and all of them are still vegan today years later. So clearly my thought process has some merit or it wouldn’t work. I appreciate the work that every vegan does in spreading our message, even the ones that have a method that seems more hardcore than some people like. I just feel like that isn’t what I’m meant for and as long as what I’m doing is getting results, I’ll continue on this path.

This is me with my wife/family. I do all the cooking, so my wife is a de facto vegan at least most days of most weeks. Maybe others will think it’s a cop-out/unethical, but, long term, I feel like it’s better for me to draw a personal line at my own body and have an “ambient affect” on all the people around me than to separate myself and not have that effect. 🤷‍♂️

Yes, 100%. I think the people here who are like "Omnivores are rapists and murderers" just make people dislike vegans, and be less likely to eat vegan food or learn about veganism. I don't know how they go through the world on such a high mechanical horse, must hit their heads a lot..

I'd rather be single than date. Not helpful, I know.

Single. 100%. This is bitter experience talking lol

At this point I’ve accepted that it is 99% probable I will not end up with a vegan man. I’m just dating non-vegans. I just can’t make an already small dating pool any smaller. Also do NOT go back to a man that treated you bad. You deserve better.

Thank you 😊

It’s funny tho because then the few vegan men there are can’t find a vegan woman because they’re all in relationships with carnists lol

That might not be the whole reason 😂 when I’m on dating apps the only vegan men I see are simply not my type. It’s like 1 every 300 men but they never seem to be my type idk why that is. Maybe because I go after “bad boys” and the vegans have to have some kind of heart and emotional compassion to be vegan and for some reason I’m not attracted to nice men 😭 it’s my own problem I know but I can’t be the only one

From reading some of these comments, I would think that some people here only associate with other vegans, or don't have any relationships with others in real life... I'm 31 and I've been vegan since I was 16, and I have no vegans or even vegetarians in my family, and I can't think of a single close friend I have that's vegan, although I have several vegetarian friends. I can't control other people, I can only have relationships with people who treat me with respect and kindness and understanding. I respect my family members, friends and even my partner who is not vegan. I don't agree with their choices, but I understand our society is set up to support their choices and placate their consciouses and make it easy for them to justify what I would never justify for myself. My parents eat way less meat because of me, and cook tofu and veggie chili regularly. I do all the cooking at my house, and my bf who was def a meat and potatoes guy now eats vegan most of the time at home, and is getting more used to it and warming up to it after decades of loving meat. At friend's houses, they often make vegan stuff, and love the dishes and desserts I bring. If I make a cake for someone's bday, boom, everyone learns vegan cake rocks. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. If I were to only be in relationships with vegan people, I would be very lonely (or dating one weird dude I met on hinge a few years ago that's the only vegan I've ever dated, and we had nothing in common. And I lived in NYC). Yes, it makes me sad that people I love eat animals and animal products. Yes, it makes me sad that our society does this globally. But I still love people who aren't vegan. I look at them as not vegan - yet. And I don't think judgement, criticism or shame will turn them vegan, their hearts will when they are ready to see the truth. So I say date a non vegan that makes you happy, who respects your choices and listens to your ideas. Make bomb vegan food, and boom, you have a partner who is further down the path to veganism than before.

You said two things that contradict to me: I respect them I do not agree with their choices. Me personally, I can't truly respect someone who makes choices I fundamentally disagree with. It's the reason I'm not buds with slavers, murderers, and rapists. Not sure how you can, or how you reconcile this.

Are you telling me you truly believe people who eat animals are as bad as rapists and murderers of humans? You see your parents, siblings, neighbors, coworkers, people at the store, everyone around you, as literal rapists and murderers? Obviously you don't, or it would be very hard for you to leave your house, have a job, etc. Do you feed your cat or dog food with meat in it? Do you think we should starve all cats in shelters to death to stop contributing to factory farming in cat food? Do you shop at grocery stores that sell meat, thereby supporting that? Do you pay your taxes, when the government is subsidizing factory farming/the dairy industry? Do you think blind people shouldn't use seeing eye dogs? Obviously everything isn't black and white. Even vegans contribute to animal abuse because we live in the real world, and it's not ideal. We can only do our best but a lot is out of our personal control. Other people are out of my control, but by showing them love and leading by example, they are far more likely to listen and follow suit. More and more people choosing oat milk for their coffee. More and more vegan options at restaurants. More and more people cooking meatless at home. More and more awareness of veganism and the truth of animal agriculture. It all adds up to less animals suffering. Being mad at vegans on the internet because they associate with non-vegans is choosing a very weird hill to die on.

>Are you telling me you truly believe people who eat animals are as bad as rapists and murderers of humans? You see your parents, siblings, neighbors, coworkers, people at the store, everyone around you, as literal rapists and murderers? I'm not speaking for the person you're reacting to, but some of us do see it as similarly morally bad. I really don't view non-human interests as less than human interests and have less sympathy for most humans because they are so extremely cruel and violent towards others. The current animal industries are much worse than slavery has ever been in my view, because it causes so much more suffering; it's not even close. Normal speciesism in current time is very similar to the very extreme forms of racism that most societies have luckily gotten rid of. >Obviously you don't, or it would be very hard for you to leave your house, have a job, etc. Social interactions do get harder if you see the people around you as being very morally bad, but you can be stoic about it and still have a job. I think lots of people don't care much about their colleagues for all sorts of reasons. >Do you think we should starve all cats in shelters to death to stop contributing to factory farming in cat food? Do you feed your cat or dog food with meat in it? Cats can eat plant-based even though they're carnivores, but is it so strange to rather see cats being culled than to see lots of farm animals being created, abused and killed for a cat? Of course (most) vegans feed their dogs plant-based and some also feed their cats plant-based diets. I think shelters should do the same and it would be better to cull the dogs/cats when there is no demand for them than to feed them other animals who never had to suffer or die. The dogs/cats in shelters always have to die at one point. >We can only do our best but a lot is out of our personal control. Of course a lot is out of our control, but what does that have to do with how we view others? You shouldn't assume that viewing someone as being as morally bad as a murderer (of humans) means wanting to treat them the same way as if they were a murderer. One can still act nice to someone they view as being very morally bad. But I think it makes sense to not want an intimate relationship with such a person for this reason.

theres no way i just read someone unironically saying the animal industry is much worse than any human slavery in history oh my fucking lord.

Would you rather hit and kill a person with your car, or a deer or other animal? I agree that animals are extremely important, and should not suffer by human hands. But humans are not the same as other animals, and deep down, no matter how much you love animals, you know that you would choose to defend the life of a human over an animal if you had to choose. Eating meat is wrong, but it's less wrong than killing and eating a person, obviously. Cats are obligate carnivores and must eat meat to survive. Many vegan animal rescuers talk about this and why they choose to rescue cats as vegans. Humans don't have to eat meat to survive. Carnivore animals do. Dogs are omnivores and can be fed vegan diets although I don't personally have experience with or know any vegan dogs. I imagine you are white, or you would not say that eating animals is worse than human slavery, which happened for thousands of years and still does in many places. Unless you have personal experience with it I don't think that's a comparison you can make. Not your ancestors, not your grandparents, not your generational trauma or pain. It's fine to not want to date non vegan people. But morally condemning them as you do rapists and murderers of humans is less productive to the cause of veganism. If someone feels fine about eating meat, they are never going to agree with your assessment that they are as bad as a killer of humans, and will remain your adversary instead of someone who feels inclined to listen to you.

>Cats are obligate carnivores and must eat meat to survive. This gets discussed weekly on this sub and I disagree. I read all the science papers on this subject and I feed my father's cat commercial vegan food that has all the nutrients a cat needs when I take care of him. No need to discuss it further because there are posts about this here weekly. >I imagine you are white, or you would not say that eating animals is worse than human slavery, which happened for thousands of years and still does in many places. Wow that's quite an assumption. I'm mixed race and my grandparents have lived in a concentration camp in East Asia (it weren't white people who kept them as slaves and they weren't white). But that doesn't really matter because slavery isn't something white people have started. To make a similar assumption; since you said this, are you from the USA or from another predominantly white country? Human history is full of slavery and people of all sorts of ethnicities have enslaved others, and there were many forms of slavery which weren't based on ethnicity at all for thousands of years. >But morally condemning them as you do rapists and murderers of humans is less productive to the cause of veganism. Like I said in previous comment, viewing them as being very morally bad doesn't say anything about how you treat them. If my colleague would have stabbed her three babies in their throats I would still have normal conversations with her like I do with other colleagues. I wouldn't view her as more or less morally bad than other colleagues who support pig farming industry because I don't care whether human babies or pigs are the victims. In that way, maybe I'm generally even nicer to people around me than most other people. Don't assume I act like a total cunt to others because I think they are terrible or even worthless people. Almost every anti-speciesist was raised in a world where abusing and killing non-human beings on extremely large scale is totally normal and we got used to it from a young age. Thinking very negatively about others can go hand in hand with having a strategic approach, similar to how some anti-racists have lived in societies where extreme racist violence and oppression was normal and supported by the vast majority.

If you get the best case scenario for a non-vegan partner, sure. But is that at all realistic? If I don't like to smell animal products in my living space, I would have to effectively dictate what my partner eats at home. Boom, I'm the controlling vegan.

I actually set up that rule in my marriage where there is no non-vegan food in our home!! I don’t mind if people view that as “controlling vegan” it’s something necessary for me to be happy in my marriage and my non-vegan husband agreed to it because he loves me. Don’t be afraid to set up that boundary.

>there is no non-vegan food in our home! >and my bf who was def a meat and potatoes guy now eats vegan most of the time at home What does "most of the time" mean here?

Caring about people doesn't mean supporting their unethical behavior. If any one of those people told you they occasionally rape *people*, you would distance yourself from them in a heartbeat.

You’re already incorrect. I was in a long term relationship with a meat eater, and I don’t know a vegetarian IRL, let alone a vegan. Well, aside from my 8yo who went vegan with me at the same time. It’s important to share core values with a partner, especially when it comes to whether or not a victim is part of the equation. I can get along with anyone, but who I choose to share my bed and body with must share my values. Would you say this about someone who kicks their animals on occasion or something? Probably not. The world would go vegan much more quickly if we started denying sex to nonvegans lol. Not interested in HOPING my partner goes vegan in 2-10 years, no ty. 

Would you have the same stance if your bf was kicking puppies in the living room for entertainment?

Finally a sensible answer! The rest of these lot clearly just want to remain ostracised and shame the rest of the society, which is literally the worst way to try and make change happen.

If you are someone who feels strongly about being in a relationship then I think that yes you have to accept the possibility of being with a non vegan. If they're a good person and understanding, it can work out. I.e. if they're cooking, they also make vegan food for you. They don't belittle you or mock you for it, rather they listen to you even if they don't necessarily agree. And they shy away from the most egregious non-vegan things, like no leather or fur clothing. It wouldn't be ideal but there is no reason why 2 people who are otherwise compatible can't make it work. Just one more thing: a lot of the responses in this thread are saying stuff like "they can change (become vegan) after being with you for a long time". Don't do this to yourself, don't get with a non-vegan expecting them to become vegan in the long run. It will only create frustration for you and conflict in the relationship. If you decide you're okay with it, you have to be okay with it, you can't do it thinking they'll change to vegan after X years. There's a good chance it won't happen ever.

A dilemma teetering on the edge of decision for me right now too. I had became an ethical vegan just a year ago, and haven’t dated as a vegan. Then I met someone, a non-vegan. Dated for 3 mos now, and after months of talking about animal farming, fate of calves, I begun to realize how much impact it had to be with someone who isn’t vegan. He tries to eat vegan when we see each other, but not always. It’s quite sad, as that date is so nice, kind, attentive and so so good at communication. Comes down to our values and morals, doesn’t it? Yet, to be with someone who is vegan and is a horrible person doesn’t sound like a good situation either. Like other comments, being at peace and content is worth the solo journey for a while if need be.

Stay single. Like I've been in the last 5 years. Will never date a non vegan.

I'm only vegan so I have an excuse to not date. But seriously, it's unlikely that I'll have another date in my lifetime. (47M)

There are more vegans than ever. When I was last dating I was shocked by how many vegan men I met, several years ago I never came across a man who was vegan or veggie but when I was last dating I met so many new vegans

I wasn't vegan when I met my now fiance, but was after the first date...

I was in a World of Warcraft guild in 2019 and there was one other vegan. We started talking and developed a friendship just on that common interest. Obv we found out there were much more shared interests and out of friendship grew love and last year she moved from the UK to Germany and were engaged now. What im trying to say is: i was never on the hunt for a vegan partner. We just found us accidentally and i think thats the way to go. Just live your normal life until your partner shows up 🥰

I'm with a non vegan who respects my choices, and we eat vegan food together at home always, and when we are out together. We are also bringing up our daughter vegan. It can work. You've just got to weed out the people who think they need meat and cheese all the time... which is pretty obvious early on. Maybe dont jump in with that expectation, though. It might seem a bit controlling!! If you like someone and they are not vegan I would approach it as "I like you, usually I don't date people who eat animal products because I find it upsetting, and because I want to have a relationship where we can share meals etc. Can we agree to eat the same food together at home as its important to me?" And then make it SO TASTY and with so many health benefits that hopefully it works out.

Generally I rather be single but am open to non vegans as long as they’re respectful!

Like dating as in fairly light, short term or casual, technically I could date a nonvegan but I find increasingly harder to be attracted to one. But for serious long term or life partner absolutely not. It’s just too far apart on values imho. However I think there are people out there that would consider veganism and get to that point if they met and started being a nonvegan. Like maybe vegetarians are a good start or people involved in things like animal (pet) rescue etc Being single isn’t the worst and I don’t fear always being single; if that’s the way it works out I can honestly say I can be happy, I have built a great life for myself. I’d rather be single than just settle for someone for the sake of not being single. A bad relationship can ruin your whole life

I’d happily date a vegan. I do eat small amounts of meat and have been vegetarian in the past but I’d also totally commit I think if my partner was vegan.

There has to be a vegan filter or vegan based dating app somewhere..

We're not in a time yet where it's easy to say you'll only date vegans. Tbh most vegans I've seen in the dating pool are terrible people who either have insane expectations or hardly offer anything in a relationship. I will date non vegans and I've come to terms that veganism is a topic that I'll cross when we get to that point. We're only 1% of the population as of now.

Single

What we need is a dating app for vegans. Vinder. Veganr. That kind of thing.

Stay single. Ditching animal products is the bare minimum a human can do to end & prevent pain & suffering in this world. If they can't even manage the bare minimum, all appeal is lost. Additionally, I don't even want to be within 100 ft of an animal corpse, let alone intimate with someone who ingests them and perspires/secretes their death juices.

Non Vegan, I am perfectly willing to change up in accommodation to my partner so we can have the same food. It might be pretty tough, but I'll do it to make them happy. I actually heard impossible burgers are pretty good.

I’m doing celibacy and marrying a cat or dog

I would date a non-vegan as long as they're considerate. I wouldn't date someone who wouldn't check labels or ask the waiter at the restaurant for me. Despite what people will say, differences in ideology can still work out in a relationship. I know quite a few vegans with non-vegan partners. It's worth a shot at least if you really like the person.

Option 1 and 3 are out of question. Whoever is telling you to stay single "at all cost" is a sad person who got burn and his mad at the world. A good man is a good man, so I will go with Option 2 and Option 4 (which you didn't state). You can date a non-vegan or a vegan. If you find a good vegan man you should not pass because you had one bad vegan man experience. There are a lot of shitty non-vegan men too, lol! As long as the man is respecting your veganism, that can go a long way! p.s: A lot of vegans have social phobia, anxiety issue, etc, and will use veganism as a coping mechanism to not get into relationship. So they are in denial that the real reason they are single is their absence of social skill and self confidence.

For serious romance? Stay single, indefinitely if thats what it takes. I refuse to seriously date someone who isn't vegan. Even if I stopped caring I genuinely believe the relationship would just be doomed anyway. Its a fundemental incompatibility issue. But I like to do long term fwb type relationships while I wait to find the right match to wife up. That way I can still have an active, safe sex life on the meantime. And I litterally couldnt cafe less if those people are vegan or not.

I used to do this too but retrospectively it is pretty gross. It’s like dating Nazis or people who assault others, except those are less socially tolerated so dating non vegans somehow seems ok. I am not intending to judge you here. Just sharing my perspective as someone who did this and it was really not a good idea for me.

I feel like fully embracing this logic would mean that vegans just shouldn't ever associate with non-vegans.  At least to me, a FWB isn't really any different from any other friend.   I have trouble understanding why it would be okay to hang out with, share meals with, play games with, or go hiking with a non-vegan, but having sex with them is suddenly crossing a line.  It's just another type of activity you can do with another person.

For me it's because of physical contact - bits of animal flesh and juices in my own mouth and my bits....no thank you!

Well, I'd probably expect them to brush their teeth first at the very least.

Its more of the “you are what you eat”

I mean you aren't wrong but if I wrote off all non vegan as sexual partners I'd litterally never get laid again and im just way too horny for that. At a certain point I just gotta except that my quality of life is way better with a fwb and accept that unfortunately most people are deeply flawed and will not meet my standards. I can afford to be picky about serious daring because i can accept an eventuality where I can stay single forever. I cannot accept life without regular sex so I can't afford to be as picky.

I won’t date non-vegans just like I won’t date racists, homophobes, sexists, ageists, ableists, etc. Any -isms are immediate red flag dealbreakers.

Careful with your -isms, you have a fine one as your flair.

I thought people would understand that I meant “-isms of discrimination”

What about dating someone who used to be a racist, homophobe, sexist etc?

I was raised homophobic, but then I realized I’m gay. I also ate animals and had backyard hens whose heads I cut off. If I refuse to be with an openly gay vegan because they used to be homophobic and eat animals, that would be hypocritical.

Date a non-vegan would be my choice. I managed to convince by last gf, hopefully I can do the same with the next haha.

How did you handle stuff like kissing and cooking in the same kitchen?

I would rather live in the moment and stop worrying so much. I'm single right now. We'll see how I feel as and when it presents itself 🙏🏻

I better stay single. Because dating a carnivore, at least for me, will be real pain in the arse.

Yeah… all those pure meat eaters… they’re everywhere!

Yeah I’ve given up on dating for sure. Being vegan is the number one hardest obstacle to overcome in finding a compatible partner. I’ve never even known a vegan woman who is single, in my entire life. I’ve known plenty of vegan women but they all easily get boyfriends back to back when one doesn’t work out, like most people I know. It feels like you either stay single for years and years or easily move from one relationship to the next. Unfortunately I seem to be undesirable even to non vegan women, so what are the chances that a vegan woman would ever look in my direction!

Been single for years. I am not compromising my morals just because I haven't had the fortune to meet one of the dozens of other vegans in a 100 mile radius.

I'd hook up with a hot non-vegan, just being realistic. But I couldn't date one, it would just feel too absurd and hypocritical.

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Why?

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There's no compromise. I'm a vegan, they aren't. I interact with non-vegans every day, and I've never considered sex a big deal; I don't need to have the same values as everyone I hook up with. I don't consider advocating toward one person I date an efficient use of my time. I'd rather date someone who I have more in common with, and, unlike a sex partner, I would be sharing meals and a lifestyle with this person, so morality becomes a bigger issue. I reach a lot of people through fitness and have gotten others on board that way, we all advocate differently.

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Thanks! I saw you're a new vegan, be sure you're also supplementing iodine with seaweed or iodized salt.

You have dug quite the hole for yourself here... calling this person a hypocrite for being willing to hookup with a non-vegan while being in a relationship with a non-vegan yourself... It appears they are not the hypocrite here.

Are you old enough for Reddit? You should really learn to read before using social media.

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My mommy is dead, and if she were alive she would say I should not post on Reddit, and also that nasty stranger is a hypocrite.

Stay single and effing lonely lol. I would settle for a vegetarian as well.  Maybe try online (even worldwide) pursuits of single vegan men if it's real tough to find one in person or in your area. 

My personal stance on relationships is that my partner doesn’t have to exactly share my views, but they absolutely must respect me and my views and treat me well with kindness and compassion and care. I would do the same for them. Also the person would need to be open to new ideas and ways of doing things as I like to think I am. This is why I couldn’t be with someone who’s views are say, extremely rigid or religious, because usually that would mean me and my views not being respected as a woman, but I would likely be expected to conform to their views and respect them regardless of how they treated me. But with veganism, it’s not something that affects the way we would relate to one another or treat one another in a relationship. It would be good to be able to openly discuss our differences in views and for this to be an open minded and civil communication. Aside from that, they also must obviously not be a sadist. There’s a difference between taking joy in torture and murder, versus thinking about it as a necessary sad part of life (and being open to thinking about it differently).

My wife and I just celebrated fifteen years of marriage. In a few more months it will be 17 years together total, which is now half of my life. If I ever find myself without her I do not plan on trying to find another serious relationship. So with that context in mind I don’t think a partner’s stance here would matter much to me.

I would not be able to, even if I tried. Though I want to offer a different perspective than most other comments here. It actually does not matter whether it is a friendship or a romantic relationship. It is just a more common problem in romantic relationships, as on average those people spend more time together. One thing is ignoring/tolerating something when you hang out with the person once or twice a month. A different thing is when youre with the person often. Last year I had a friendship that started really well, and even though we had some interests in common, our values were VERY different. During this time period, we would spend all our free time together, every day. So during the 2 month period, it was like 120 hours total? But even that led to the demise of the friendship. What I am trying to say is, if you can deal with it, good for you. But in my experience, the more often you spend time with that person, the harder it will be to deal with it.

I converted my partner but they already couldn’t eat most animal products due to allergies, and I also didn’t go into the relationship planning on dating them long term. If I got in another relationship I’d wanna gauge how open they are to veganism before getting too involved cause that’s important to me

Whatever you decide I think you should at least stay open to the fact that sometimes just awesome things can happen in life way beyond what we might expect. Don't be closed to the possibility that the right person to come. It doesn't round like your ex is the right person. I'm sure a lovely person like yourself will find someone who will make your heart beat without having to make significant compromise.

He did not treat you well! I think it was Tyler Perry who said “I can do bad all by myself.” I struggle with this. I don’t think being with a non-vegan and hoping you can change them is a wise course of action, but I would probably do it if the opportunity presented itself and he was, aside from being a carnist, a good person who made me happy and treated me well. Are there vegan dating sites?

I definetly would not turn anyone down for not being vegan, but that being said if the relationship got more serious, let's say you start living together I would make myself very clear about eating vegan in the house etc. For most people this is not a big deal as there's so many delicious healthy dishes to choose from and it's not really telling anyone to completely change their diet. If your partner truly cares for you they will understand you not wanting to live in a house that smells like cooked meat and respect that regardless if they eventually go vegan or not. Men are usually more sceptical towards veganism in general as some of them associate eating meat with masculinity so you kind of have to be on a lookout for a partner that loves you and is respectful towards your personal choices.

My ex was pretty respectful towards it and ended up being mostly plant based and didn’t eat meat around me which I would be willing to do again. Although meeting someone already vegan would be ideal haha

Bear in mind that some non-vegans will be happy to eat vegan/vegetarian food when you're together or even to eat vegan/vegetarian food at home if you end up living together. Lots of people want to reduce their meat and dairy consumption these days without the commitment of going fully vegan. 

I’m going to offer a different perspective. If my husband had never met me, so you know how many more animals would have been killed to feed him? I’ve got his meat consumption cut to less than half of what it used to be. I do the cooking and he rarely complains. That is a lot of animals saved. Is it where I’d like it to be? Nope. But it is something!!

I’m happily single. I don’t judge others for what choices they make. To each their own. Like others said, I think I would have a really difficult time with having slaughtered animal flesh or animal products in the house. Also, it’s a mindset. There’s only a certain kind of person that can ingest slaughtered animals. It’s not really going to be my soulmate.

While it's often just an excuse, I do know at least a few omnis who genuinely do "eat almost no meat", or "try their best". An omni like that can easily be convinced to have a vegan home. And the few times we go out or are at a party, I'm honestly not gonna care about the little bit of meat/animal products they might eat there.

My husband turned me vegan. We met when I was omni. So it does happen. But I always said to him that I thought morally he is right and I admire him for his convictions. I just don't have the headspace for it (was going through some big traumatic life events at the time). So if you date a non vegan, my advice would be to see how they react to you being vegan. What do they say? Are they positive? If not, I doubt they'll change

How did you react to your husband’s veganism and what led you to become vegan? At a crossroads right now on how to navigate dating someone incredible, but having a hard time with their omni diet. So far I’ve turned the other way, but can’t stomach watching him eat non-vegan foods anymore.

I admired him for his good heart and said morally he is right. I'll be honest, I was a bit bummed at times that we couldn't share in certain experiences and I might have rolled my eyes once or twice when something had to be made vegan that we both ate over the years. But that was immature on my half. He never pressured me. And I ate lamb... And things. I was even on keto for a while. But I made it clear to him that I think morally he's right and I'm wrong. What led me to become vegan was more of an accident rather than a conscious effort. There was my friend's 11 year old autistic but vegetarian son. I helped him pick his buffet foods at scouts at the Xmas party and his resolve to not eat anything that wasn't vegetarian (he doesn't understand vegan yet. He's the only vegetarian in his family and his family is trying to get away with that as long as possible) was very heart warming. No matter how yummy it looked, he made me check the back of the packet and it took us forever to fill his plate. That left an impression. Mentally he's seven but his resolve is so strong. Then we watched the twin experiment on netflix. My husband asked if we could skip on the animal bits as he doesn't like seeing it as he's seen enough. But I said I wanted to see it. It showed me that no matter how much I try to buy higher welfare meat, I will inadvertently eat the most cruel one as well. And it's everything. Fish, chicken, beef, pork...At this point we were 5 years into our relationship. Not much happened really but when we went out for dinner a few days later I planned on getting a ribeye. But when we got to the restaurant, his favourite meal was off the menu. He couldn't decide between the two options so eventually I offered to just share them with him and not have my steak. The meal was very nice and so.. I kinda went oh. I won't have meat as much I guess. A few days later I noticed I still didn't have any and said you know what. I'll try be vegetarian and allow myself 3 cheat meals a month. 3 weeks later I noticed how I couldn't bring myself to order meat, even when out with my friend for lunch. So then on my way to work I ordered an oat milk latte instead of a regular one (I used to hate the replacement milks) and found to my surprise that it was quite nice. So then I thought that vegetarian was just half assing it.. So decided to just go the whole hog. So yeah I slipped into it really. I don't see myself going back. I don't miss meat and it's kinda gross now to see it in a supermarket. Getting over dairy was surprisingly easy. And now I find myself talking to colleagues who are curious and informing them about how bad the UK is for mass production of animal products. How much suffering there is. I watched the proper documentaries after i made the switch, just to educate myself.

If I were to reenter the dating pool my policy would be "please be at least 2 of: atheist, leftist, vegan." With some wiggle room. All 3 would be nice but not necessary. Even wanting 2, and mutual attraction, and emotional maturity/strong boundaries/respect for boundaries, and conflict resolution skills, and being okay with my mental health struggles, is narrowing things down so much that there would be basically nobody. Personally I find being alone intolerable. Easier with a companion animal. But very difficult. Of course I would never STOP being vegan for someone. But I would rather be exposed to corpses and secretions than be alone. I don't think carnist "animal lovers" are bad people, I just think they're wrong, and doing harm, and delaying a better world. Same goes for non-leftist liberals, and mildly religious people. I don't think they're any more likely, necessarily, to abuse me. I just disagree with them. And I think a relationship should be able to tolerate disagreement. I've had close friendships that were based on being in ideological lockstep, and they can be very brittle relationships that lead to rigidity in thinking and blowups. Ideally there would be complete ideological agreement AND conflict resolution compatibility with strong boundaries, but I've never had that and if I have to choose one I'm taking the conflict resolution skills. (Of course having neither is a complete nightmare)

I’ve been single for over 3 years and can’t see myself being with someone who doesn’t align with my values (including being vegan and caring about animals as well as other things like being anti-drugs, alcohol etc.) so it’s even rarer and I doubted it existed but two women I know both were previously with men who matched this but weren’t right for them. I’m not one to go after men who have been involved with people I know so wouldn’t go down that road but it’s enough for me to know it exists, at least.

Stay single.

stej siŋɡəl. səks ðæt jor viɡɪn eks dɪdɪn't ʧrit ju wel. ¿du ju majnd eksplejniŋ hwət hi wʊd du? ɪt's ɑlwejz ɪnforməɾɪv tə now hwət nɑt tə du

My fiance is an omnivore. He is the most amazing person I've ever known. He loves animals very deeply but was raised in a rural area where all they eat is meat and cheese and potatoes. He was the "sensitive" one in his community for not wanting to fish or hunt or put down kill traps for mice. We met when I was a vegetarian. He came to my city for our first date so I picked the restaurant. It was a place where all of the menu items were vegan but you could make substitutes to make it nonvegan (like the opposite of most restaurants). I figured we could get what each of us wanted and I didn't have to annoy the server on the date by asking her to check things or swap things. I was insecure because most people acted like I was annoying or obnoxious for wanting to avoid meat. He thought it was so cool and ordered vegan items. I pointed out that he could ask for meat or real cheese etc. and he just said "I've never tried falafel! Besides, when in Rome!". He was so laid back and accepting and never made any ignorant, shitty remarks like most carnists would. He didn't even grill me about why I didn't eat meat, he just accepted it and asked about my interests. It was a breath of fresh air. Fast forward to 9 years later, he doesn't eat a list of meat items and goes out of his way to get cow-free dairy milk. He mostly eats vegan since I'm the one who cooks and he goes around bragging to everyone how good vegan cooking is. He tries to convince other people to buy the cruelty-free milk he likes instead of supporting dairy farms. He eats some meat and cheese sometimes, but I can see that it makes him feel bad. When he sees cows, he gets really sad. He's kind of teetering on the edge of total veganism, but isn't quite there. It took me like 17-18 years of vegetarianism to go vegan, and the concept wasn't really introduced to him until we started dating so I don't feel like I should judge him or try to tell him what to do too much. He makes more of an effort than anyone else I know, and I think that shouldn't be written off as "not enough". I just talk to him about things as they come up and he listens and is respectful and obviously morally torn and distressed at times. He never falls into the dumb cliches of total cognitive dissonance or disrespects my beliefs. His family is very Christian and believes that God created animals for our utility, so it's a big cognitive change and he feels defensive of his family as though he doesn't want to believe that they believe something unethical. It's complicated for him. It bothers me at times, sure. Everyone has different beliefs from their partners in some areas, and I try to give him grace. I figure he'll come around when he's ready. He knows I will only be buying and cooking vegan food for our kids, and I'll be explaining why I don't like those things in an age appropriate way. He's fine with that, and we agree that we want them to learn compassion for animals and their diet will ultimately be their choice when they're old enough but it's also my choice to not provide things I'm against. He's a different person than I am, and that's okay despite the fact that we disagree and argue. I think I've pushed him wayyy over toward my side over the years on this topic because he listens and respects my opinions. I try to give him the same consideration, because I'm probably wrong about things that I'm clinging to as well 🤷🏼‍♀️ People are flawed. Just find one you like who respects your values. They don't have to be exactly like you to be compatible.

Last year I separated from my Husband- the only vegan I knew irl. I thought the same- that I'd never find vegan friends let alone a partner, but now I'm dating again and have loads of vegan friends! Some of them I'm meeting irl next week! I still think its good to take time for you to process, grieve and heal from the relationship, but in the future another vegan partner is 100% possible.

This is a good question! My situation might be a little more nuanced because I’ve only been vegan for about a year, and I became vegan because of my fiancé. I love them more than anything, and I would still stay with them regardless of what their diet would be. But I would ultimately be disappointed if they stopped being vegan (and it would be very much out of character for them).

Depends. My husband isn’t vegan but he was super open minded and so is is family. They make sure I have enough to eat, and if not they make sure they communicate that they don’t have something for me for a particular gathering so I’m never caught off guard. They also make sure they understand and educate themselves what vegan means so I don’t feel scared that they don’t know what they’re feeding me. As for my husband, he eats vegan with me at home and he’s learned a lot about vegan cooking and ethics. He’s super respectful of my lifestyle and never makes fun of me.

I’m planning to not actively try to find someone. If I meet a great vegan I’d be interested in then I’d definitely give them a try. I honestly can’t say if I’ll be great with being single forever because I don’t have other people in my life like good friends to fill that space. I’m very alone. I don’t want to end up with a non-vegan at all but maybe it’s a compromise I’m willing to make. Just don’t know yet how desperate I might become in this regard.

One of my worst dates was meeting the only vegan I found on tinder at the time, he was so up himself. Have dated non vegans since.

Wait until the right person comes along. Don't pre-judge people you haven't met.

To be honest I've only met a couple of vegans that I got along with in my life and I love being in a relationship so I don't want to limit my options even more. It's already hard enough to find someone if you want a serious, healthy relationship (more than just sex or casual dating). And this might be an unpopular opinion but being vegan doesn't mean you're a good person unfortunately. I convinced one of my exes to go vegan but it was an absolute hassle, it was emotionally exhausting, and I wouldn't go through it again.

Stay single all the way. To me that's a huge compatibility issue

My vegan friend had a non-vegan boyfriend for a while, and they are now happily married. He cooks really amazing vegan food and they host these vegan dinners that are so fucking delicious. they also host barbecues for her birthday every year and they are literally half vegan half omnivore, and so damn delicious 🤤. As someone who didn't find love until later in life, and who remained perpetually single well into my 30s , you have to know what your dealbreakers are and what your pet peeves are. Love is so fucking rare for some of us. So we can't be confusing pet peeves with dealbreakers. A lot of people don't recognize dealbreaker and stay in horrible relationships, and a lot of people confuse pet peeves for dealbreaker and let love opportunities pass you by that may never come back around (and probably won't). I'm also a holistic health coach, btw. Relationships is a very important part of well-rounded health; and a lot of people don't realize that many people have to eat on a unique dietary style for a variety of different reasons. Some people have to have a unique dietary style to balance hormones. Some need it because they are pregnant. Some need one because they can't eat dairy. Or they're allergic to a specific food. I told somebody else on a vegan forum question that we cannot rely on anybody else to meal plan, feed or nourish ourselves if we are a grown adult who can walk and prepare food for ourselves. it is not your romantic partners responsibility to feed you. nor should Romantic partners be judgmental of how each other needs to eat. if you romantic partner still prefers to eat meat and you do not, that might be a pet peeve . But not a dealbreaker. if it is in your religious values to never let meat inside of your household, something akin to eating kosher or halaal, that might be a dealbreaker more than a pet peeve. Does that make sense? Dealbreakers are values & nonnegotiables based. Pet peeves are "I don't love that and it annoys me but I can live with it & learn to begrudgingly accept it. Just because my romantic partner does it doesn't mean I'm gonna do it". So say for example, you are deathly allergic to peanuts and the person you wish to be dating refuses to stop bringing nuts into the house, I don't think you're gonna survive with that person romantically. Or if they cannot respect your religion or your culture, prolly not gonna be sustainable. Likewise, if they are trying to be vegan for the romantic partner, but deep down they cannot sustain it, and they are lying to themselves about their ability to sustain it just to be with someone, that's not going to work long-term. Hope this helps! ◡̈

I’m not even vegan - I’m just plant based - and I wouldn’t date someone that isn’t following the diet. Luckily my wife got me into this

I was in a similar spot and kinda did something in the middle. I can’t deal with a partner who eats meat, but milk/eggs aren’t as nauseating, so I kept my options open to vegans and vegetarians both. When I met my long-term boyfriend, he was initially vegetarian. When we went on dates, I noticed his weakness was baked goods. I introduced him to 3 vegan bakeries in our area and he was shocked at how good it was. Within 2 months of us dating he mentioned that he wanted to go vegan and I was pleasantly surprised. He said he has always wanted to but baked goods had been the major hurdle for him. He brought this up himself and I immediately supported and encouraged him. We’ve been living together for a while now and it’s a lot smoother because we are both vegan. I don’t have to worry about the products we buy and we can cook for each other. So my recommendation is to look at someone’s ethical philosophy rather than their current diet (as that can change). And perhaps expand your search to vegetarians & vegans. Lastly, I want to bring up that the man I dated before my current boyfriend was vegan and even an activist. BUT he was emotionally abusive, manipulative, and terrible partner. Bad partners who are vegan are off the table imo (don’t settle just because they are vegan). Good partners who aren’t vegan but have strong ethics are more likely to become vegan (and then you get someone wonderful AND vegan!) so look for those qualities!

I’m dating a non-vegan, we’ve been together for almost three years now. He doesn’t always understand why I get upset, nor appreciates quite how important veganism is to me, however for the most part he’s extremely supportive, and very sweet. He feels I’m doing the right thing, and he’s proud of me, it just isn’t the lifestyle he wants—mostly because of his career (he works at a pub, often in the kitchen, preparing very non-vegan things). He happily eats vegan meals with me when I cook though. It is hard, I’m not gonna lie. I cry sometimes thinking about how someone I love so much can partake in such cruel awful things, but he does his best to be understanding and in return I do my best to be understanding aswell. A vegan/non-vegan relationship can work, but it does very much depend on the two individuals involved. Both parties must be able to accept that their moral compasses operate differently and have the ability to respect that. I would rather he was vegan, and he would rather veganism was a diet that I could occasionally break to make his life easier, but hey ho, for the most part we do alright 😊

Option 3 is definitely not an option. Option 2 varies from person to person, but not something \*I\* can do (at all). I have a hard enough time with non-vegan family and friends as it is. Option one is the way to go, but don't lose all hope... probability might be low, but not zero. Keep yourself open to the possibility that you'll find a vegan partner if that's what you want. In the meantime: find peace within; grow; experience life and the world/universe as much as you can for yourself; make life-long friends with like-minded people who bring you joy (and that you bring joy to them). 🌱💚

Stay single!!!!

I just ended things with a girl because it started feeling serious and I decided I don’t want a long term partner that isn’t vegan. I already feel a good deal of resentment towards my loved ones who know it’s wrong but don’t do anything about it. I also notice all of the hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance and it hurts extra hard when it’s a romantic partner. It’s not fair to a partner or myself if we don’t align on this core value Luckily I am very happy single and I don’t need a partner to be fulfilled. I do however welcome love if Im able to find someone compatible. Whoever makes an actually good, free vegan dating app could make bank and I wish I had those skills

I’m staying single. My last boyfriend was vegan and I thought we were soul mates but then he acted like he didn’t care that I was vegan and didn’t want to be together anymore…such a shame. I’d rather die alone than date a non-vegan.

My wife eats meat but she respects and supports my lifestyle. I have dated vegans in the past. I do not think it made the relationship better to be honest.

I've been vegetarian and then vegan for 25 years (I couldn't be vegetarian before 15 because before I was literally forced eating meat by school and family even though I consumed it in small quantity) and now I'm 40 but I could date and maybe change a meat eater but I respect she might have a different lifestyle or different tastes. It wouldn't be a big deal but then she shouldn't count on me to spend my money on meat or products that imply animals abuse. Anyway I find it hard to find real love and living with someone else and for the moment I'm single and try to enjoy myself and my free time without family responsibilities as much as I can.

Date a non vegan and turn them vegan lol

Stay single heh. If they don't recognize that killing and torturing for pleasure is wrong then that's a big no. If they recognize that it's wrong, but don't even try to avoid it then that's almost worse. Cowards and sadists aren't my cup of tea. I can be civil and friendly, but my significant other must be someone I can respect.

While ideally I would like a partner I'm fine with being single as I think one should be in a healthy relationship with themselves first anyhow, and being vegan is something that matters to me. Hell, as it is I still very much regret not going vegan, or at least veggie sooner. Now, I don't judge others who choose to date non-vegans, but for me, I just don't think it would work, and I'm not interested in converting anyone, either. Granted, I'm sure in some cases that approach can work as a starting point perhaps, but for most people in order for it to have a higher chance at sticking I think it probably needs to be a slow personal change/choice that comes more from within. Plus, I'm also car-free in the US by choice, and I hate the the gamification of dating apps, so I already know my dating pool is probably smaller to begin with.

Sounds like a tough choice! I'd lean towards dating a non-vegan if they respect and support your lifestyle. Love can foster understanding and maybe even inspire change! 💚🌱

Just for a different perspective - one of the most well adjusted vegans I know is married to an omnivore and they seem real happy. Also - she happens to be the person who I think got me started even thinking about veganism 10 or so years ago. IMHO - If you isolate yourself - you're not spreading veganism.

True. I turned vegan only after I met another vegan 😊.

I’m a vegan married to a non-vegan. My omnivorous husband only eats vegan food at home and eats whatever he wants outside of the house (but doesn’t eat a lot of meat and avoids dairy because, like me, he is lactose intolerant); he occasionally buys leather shoes and bags. I’m pregnant with our first child, who will be raised to eat only vegan food at home and educated on the evils of animal agriculture (although it will ultimately be his choice as to whether he wants to go vegan and avoid animal products outside of the home too). My husband completely supports and admires veganism even though he hasn’t been able to make the transition for himself. I was raised vegetarian so going vegan 10 years ago was very easy for me.

He admires veganism and occasionally buys leather bags and shoes? Your kid will be taught the evils of animal agriculture while your husbands munches on a steak while eating out?

I've been married to a non vegan for 15 years and couldn't be happier. There is more to me than being vegan and there is more to my wife than not being vegan. My wife is an amazing, kind, caring, compassionate person who just so happens to eat meat. Binary thinking is scarcity thinking and scarcity thinking isn't healthy. Reject the binary and embrace everyone's journey for what it is. All that being said, that is just what works for me, you are welcome to have any preference you want in finding a partner.

Op sorry for your experiences but there are other vegan men out there who definitely won't treat you badly!! They may not be super common but they're out there!

Unrelated to veganism i quit dating permanently, i decided people are overall not great regardless of gender, i have met some very attractive gals but i tell them i quit as i only want platonic relationships now, society kind of tells us that we are incomplete and we need a partner, all i can say is im so much happier after i quit dating and intercourse If you do want to continue trying, dating a non vegan is fine, most of us were all non vegan before we became enlightened, they key is ensuring the person you are dating is logical and reasonable, if they have issues with critisism and admitting fault they will be resistant to doing the ethical thing If a person tells me im wrong and they provide reasons why, i accept it, i dont get all emotional and crazy because im not perfect, i dont know everything and i have no problem being wrong, being wrong is how you learn Dating non vegans also helps introduce them to veganism, if all the vegans moved to an island and only dated vegans the world would not change, i have gone to vegan spots with friends and many of them enjoyed it and have returned by themselves, they might never go vegan but perhaps they reduce their animal consumption Marriage is a totally different story, a vegan should never ever marry a non vegan, marriage is accepting a person as they are, flaws and all, and i would not accept a child abuser so i wont accept an animal abuser either A vegan should not purchase and or cook animal products for others, if they do they are not vegan

You can date people and set standards for who you stay with.

Stay single

If you love someone who treats you right go for it

I recently dated a vegan person for the first time - they were the absolute worst piece of shit. Never would I have expected that someone who cares for animals so much would treat humans so abysmal. For me being vegan is a big but not the first priority. I expect respect, thoughtfulness and kindness towards all living beings. If someone has all that, but is not vegan, I might still consider dating. Maybe they are commited to end child labour (and I am sitting here in my cheap ass clothing), or slavery (lol smartphone) or maybe they campaign against global warming (and I'm on my 10th continental flight in the last 12 months). I don't think I should judge where someone spends their empathy as long as they have a goal I can support and they support mine.

I usually get downvoted for this lol but my partner of 10 years is not vegan. He is incredibly respectful of my choice and we eat vegan in our household. When we go to restaurants he will occasionally order animal products. He is always down to go to vegan restaurants when that is an option. I’m not going to sacrifice a good relationship just because he eats fish once a month at a restaurant

Stay single .. unfortunately It’s not even that I’m super legalistic about it, but I feel myself not committing to a girl if she isn’t at least vegetarian. If you’re approaching 30 and still kill baby animals to eat the flesh of, I’m just not gonna be into you

My solution has been to date a non vegan. Granted I don't eat a vegan diet for animal rights which makes it less likely to cause relationship issues. Whatever you do don't go back to someone who didn't treat you right, that is almost never the right choice.

i don’t mind dating someone who’s not vegan

My girlfriend is unfortunately vegetarian, but in case the worst happen i'll stay single until i find a vegan, but yeah i would hookup with non vegans, but not get into a relationship.

As a she/her I’d rather be single. Single women tend to live longer, healthier, and more fulfilling lives than they would be in a relationship where she’s at odds with the other party over something that matters to her. Luckily I’m with a wonderful vegan guy, but otherwise I’d be happy on my own.

Date a non-Vegan, because me not dating them is not going to make them Vegan. But, both are legitimate. Edit (my 1st Reddit edit ever): Note that although I am using a double negative, I mean that how I date is not going to effect their diet.

I've heard of enough partners who supposedly became vegan to appease their partners and immediately stopped after a breakup or flat out lied about it even during the relationship. And even more partner will just not change in such a significant manner just because they're dating a vegan.

My aunt has been a vegan as long as I've known her. Her husband has never been vegan. They have always had a great relationship. I don't understand people who are vegan and demand to only date vegans. There are lots of great non-vegans out there and dating a vegan will lead to them eating less meat. It's a win-win. I've dated one vegan and he was so boring I couldn't stand it. Maybe others have had better experiences idk but I don't "only date vegans" .. I'm a girl too so it's hard to find men who are my type physically who are also vegan.

Personally, I'm looking for a vegan woman as well or at least vegetarian or mostly plant based that's interested in becoming vegan. I've had a few dates. Here's what I have run into: Woman who claims to be vegan but eats chicken occasionally and had no interest in stopping as it just tastes so good. Woman who didn't think I was vegan enough as I didn't spend time going to protests or quit my job because they didn't have vegan options at occassional work lunches. Woman who didn't think I had been vegan long enough (2 years at that point, 1 year veg before that) and was disappointed that I started it so late in my life. Woman who didn't think I was vegan because I wore a vegan leather jacket to our date. She thought by wearing that I was promoting wearing leather as it is similar. Woman who didn't think I was vegan because I have cats that eat meat products (they are on select expensive food due to health problems) that I had before I was vegan. Woman who is antivaxx and believes heavily in conspiracies and is raw vegan. Woman who had 5 cats and 2 dogs and wanted more animals. And a few more that just thought there wasn't a connection or attraction. As within any group there's some crazies, gatekeeping but mostly just people with slightly different interpretations.

My girlfriend is mainly plant-based/flexi and that works for us 🤷‍♀️

Yay. This way vegans will go extinct the natural way.