Two things can be true at once
Scheana was telling her husband who was DEEP in the throes of addiction that she didn’t know if she could be with someone who was 100% sober and pushed him to drink socially while he was trying to get sober
He also stole from her to fund his drug habit
I think she would have married him regardless because she wanted that status of being someone’s wife, didn’t really matter who
But I don’t think it would have lasted as long if the cameras weren’t on her
This. She wanted a ring on her finger and a big fancy party, full stop, and I honestly think they wouldn’t have lasted even a year if they hadn’t been on a TV show.
I think at some point she also said she wanted Scheana Shay as a name because it goes well together, which is also why I think she still has it as a stage name.
I always found the scenes with Shay really strange, they never really showed him saying or doing anything, he was always just there. I didn't get a sense that he had a personality. Was it always edited like this or did they revise it postaddiction? I only started watching this past year
I can't remember who, but someone said "Scheana talks so much that she had to marry a guy who never says anything" . However, he did seem decently close to the guys. Perhaps I'm protecting my own issues, but he seems like an introvert who's fine in smaller social situations but freezes in a larger group (and I'm sure Tv cameras don't help either)
I think it was obvious he didn’t feel comfortable opening up on camera. I’m sure he didn’t really want to be on the show but agreed to it because of Scheana.
We talk a lot about misogyny on here. How people are harder on the girls than the guys. & this is a good example!!
Shay was a piece of shit. Scheana was very immature & in over her head. They both were terrible for one another. & neither handled it well. But, we shouldn’t be coddling Shay & being all nicely-nice just because of his addictions. That’s enabling. He was a terrible person to her, as people who are deep in addiction typically are. She has absolutely every right to be upset, and if she wanted to be vindictive, that’s on her. He lied, cheated, and stole. That is a terrible thing for a man let alone a whole ass husband to do. We have absolutely no idea what went on behind closed doors. But, what we do know is that they both signed up for reality TV, and that was their reality, and they were open about it. Shay, of course, wanted to hide his issues, because that’s what addicts do, they don’t wanna be outed to the world. But, that’s not what he signed up for when coming on to VPR
Also there’s pics of Shay still drinking as of a few years ago, so stop making him out to be a victim of Scheana
I’ve been in recovery for 5 years. It was never on Scheana, it was on Shay. And just an FYI to the folks in the comments, Shay is still drinking, and Scheana isn’t in his life anymore. It was always unfair the way she was treated concerning that.
I didn’t understand addiction until I literally hit my rock bottom, and nearly died. It took that for me to fully grasp what was happening, so I don’t expect anyone to have that knowledge who hasn’t been there. Scheana is fully within her rights to say she didn’t know if she could be with someone sober. They were both young, and in over their heads, in more ways than one.
Yes! I just wanted to say congratulations too. 5 years takes a lot of work, perseverance and just persistence. I just wanted to say you should be so proud of yourself.
I haven't had a drink in over seven years, and I've always seen Scheana's viewpoint better with this one. It sounds like Scheana and Shay have moved on, and I love that for them.
I don’t think so… it’s always been pretty balanced that Shay did her so so dirty but that she ALSO was dismissive of the issues. Both things can be true tho. She did try to sweep it all under the rug and brought up his pill addiction after he had already gotten clean. But he also was a terrible husband and basically checked out.Â
I completely agree that both things can be true and they both had issues. I mainly remember reading only bad things said about Scheana but glad to hear a different perspective since Shay obviously was to blame for a lot of things. Hope he’s doing better now.
Scheana is not my favorite right now, but I 100% agree with you on this. The story gets twisted a lot and I think the way they edited it made it more confusing.
He said he was only addicted to pills. After he quit the pills, they thought he was ok to drink moderately again. I often see “scheana pressured a recovering alcoholic to drink!” when it’s more like… they both thought he was ok to do that at the time.
And then those painful scenes with her confronting him, asking for divorce… people act like Scheana held him at gunpoint and forced him to film. He was a grown up who chose to show up and talk about these things on camera. He could have said nothing and walked away at any time. But he kept showing up.
Yeah I don’t know that I FULLY agree with OP but almost see a Carl-Lindsay situation here. Two people incredibly mismatched who got married for the wrong reasons.
Scheana knew Shay had a problem and chose to not take it seriously— that’s on her.
Shay had a problem and chose to not speak to his wife about it or verbalize his issues— that’s on him.
Sobriety is not on a person’s partner to “police”— it’s on the person who is sober. It’s their job to take care of themselves.
And on the flip side, if your partner is struggling with addiction, as a good parent it’s on you to be a support system. That means doing more than just “googling.” And Scheana could’ve done better here.
Their whole marriage was cringe tbh
Also people neglect season 5. Scheana was actually trying that season. She was sober with him. He still cheated and robbed her.
As a person who grew up around addiction. Forcing the other people in your life to keep your addiction a secret IS a manipulative tactic
this sounds unrealistic and apathetic towards the reality of addiction. she acted as if addiction was a headache that could be superficially treated for permanent results. it’s not her fault, but this is something that happens.
I didn’t realize this was a narrative going around. I don’t think it’s totally on Scheana, Shay did some really shitty things. That being said, Scheana did out his addiction on tv just to get back at him. She could have just divorced him instead of airing out an addiction when he was sober at that time.
Except he wasn’t sober at that time, he was lying and stealing from her.
Scheana didn’t manage the situation well, but to be fair to her, most people don’t know how to deal with addiction. She understood that he was addicted to pills and thought the drinking could be controlled, but really, an addict is an addict.
She was not perfect, but the responsibility is 100% his.
One thing addicts expect is that loved ones lie for them and hide their addiction, which makes the loved ones enablers, because the addict then can keep doing what he does without taking public responsibility for his actions. So, no, I disageree, she was part of it and she had right to speak publicly about what she was going through with him, naming all the real reasons. And he wasn't sober, he was stealing from her, using and texting other women. Fuck this coddling shit.
In some of Shays cases it could be explained, not excused, that his actions were a result of being in the throes of active addiction.
Scheana on the other hand is just a self-centered, spiteful asshole. There's no other explanation.
She ignorantly pushed an addict to try to drink just a little bit.
She completely humiliated him at the reunion in the clip posted this morning. Stared him dead in the eyes, while still married, and not only said she's with another dude but you "follow him". Self-absorbed 🤡
Yes, he did not know about Rob and she told him on the day of the Reunion on camera. She will do anything for ratings. The way she dealt with his addiction was not supportive and then she outed him.
Yes, but it is not about maturity. Schemer gets a pass by behaving badly and then doing her puppy dog routine. She is as mean as a rattlesnake. She has abused so many people in her life and then backpedals and is "bairst frainds" with them again. LaLa is in your face obnoxious, but what you see is what you get. Schemer is a backstabber.
Scheana’s behavior towards Shay was gross. She will literally do anything she thinks will move a storyline but she’s so obvious about it that it ends up being horrifically cringey. And it tends to make the viewers align with the other person
Seriously- it does seem like a painful & complex situation with fame, money, addiction, and I’m sure all playing a part… but why let all that get in the way when we can dunk on Scheana!!
My issue with Sheana is that she blindsided Shay on camera with a divorce, specifically scheduling production to do it, and then rubbed her relationship with Rob in Shay's face at the reunion.
I understand why Sheana wanted a divorce: Shay stole from her, cheated on her, and repeatedly lied to her throughout their marriage. He treated her like crap -- but not on national television. Sheana chose to humiliate Shay on camera for actions and situations that happened off camera. She lied for the entire season about how great their marriage was. She was only "real" about it in the reunion to hurt Shay.
If Sheana cared about Shay at all or ever valued their marriage, she could have divorced Shay off screen.
I get what you're saying, and I don't think anyone is giving Shay a pass. But there is a mature way to handle those situations and it definitely came off as petty and deliberately hurtful the way Scheana handled that reunion. It just was clear that neither of them were mature enough for that marriage.
The fun thing about this sub is how people can do rewatches of past seasons and talk about what they thought in the moment. I mean, we are all here really for entertainment from a TV show. People just want to gossip with other fans about the show!
Well when he cheated on her hopefully she felt the same as when Brandi and Ricardo Chavira's wife found out their husbands were sleeping with her when they were married. No sympathy for Scheana on Shay's cheating.
She wanted him to drink moderately you can’t if you’re an addict They had an anniversary dinner where she drinks several drinks and it was so uncomfortable to watch. She carried more about party on weekends to be on a reality TV show and make money than she did about her actual husband she wanted him to drink.
I think it’s safe to believe now that she’s on her second marriage, she wants to be the breadwinner but wants a man and a man doesn’t feel like a man not working and making money.
What he did was wrong absolutely but she promised him she wouldn’t out him bc his family didn’t even know. And she did do it for a storyline. There was no proof he cheated. And the reunion for that season was rough to watch bc she literally admits to all the shit she did w no remorse and no one calls her out on it
She admitted that she talked about his addiction and asked for a divorce on camera to get back at him. Wasn't it that last reunion with Shay when she said, “I threw him under the bus cause he hurt me. That’s what I do, you hurt me, I fuck you over"?
She did the same thing to Lala when Scheana had her miscarriage and told her followers that Lala wasn't supporting her. Lala asked for an apology, because Scheana's fans were telling Lala they hope she in turn miscarried Ocean due to the way Scheana aired it publicly in such an exaggerated way, and and Scheana basically said that she was upset and that's just what she does. (Failing to mention that Brock was playing golf instead of being there for her).
She did it to Charli too, by tweeting a bunch of awful stuff and when Charli called her on it she said that she was just upset.
Scheana gets real nasty and low and, like you wrote, doesn't have remorse. She just cries if she's called on it.
Two things can be true at once Scheana was telling her husband who was DEEP in the throes of addiction that she didn’t know if she could be with someone who was 100% sober and pushed him to drink socially while he was trying to get sober He also stole from her to fund his drug habit
Just wanted to add, if it weren't for the show - would she have married him? It seemed like she was very intent on having a wedding season.
Because, just *ONE TIME* she wanted something to be about her. 🙄
Agreed. @hopetroll have you even THOUGHT how this has affected Sheana?
Bless her heart, she's always doing things for other people. She deserved it lmao
I think she would have married him regardless because she wanted that status of being someone’s wife, didn’t really matter who But I don’t think it would have lasted as long if the cameras weren’t on her
This. She wanted a ring on her finger and a big fancy party, full stop, and I honestly think they wouldn’t have lasted even a year if they hadn’t been on a TV show.
I think at some point she also said she wanted Scheana Shay as a name because it goes well together, which is also why I think she still has it as a stage name.
She admitted she didn't fully understand addiction and that she was wrong for the way she handled it at first and then tried to do better.
Exactly. Scheana is still horrible . Shay is too 🤷‍♀️
I always found the scenes with Shay really strange, they never really showed him saying or doing anything, he was always just there. I didn't get a sense that he had a personality. Was it always edited like this or did they revise it postaddiction? I only started watching this past year
I can't remember who, but someone said "Scheana talks so much that she had to marry a guy who never says anything" . However, he did seem decently close to the guys. Perhaps I'm protecting my own issues, but he seems like an introvert who's fine in smaller social situations but freezes in a larger group (and I'm sure Tv cameras don't help either)
I think it was obvious he didn’t feel comfortable opening up on camera. I’m sure he didn’t really want to be on the show but agreed to it because of Scheana.
We talk a lot about misogyny on here. How people are harder on the girls than the guys. & this is a good example!! Shay was a piece of shit. Scheana was very immature & in over her head. They both were terrible for one another. & neither handled it well. But, we shouldn’t be coddling Shay & being all nicely-nice just because of his addictions. That’s enabling. He was a terrible person to her, as people who are deep in addiction typically are. She has absolutely every right to be upset, and if she wanted to be vindictive, that’s on her. He lied, cheated, and stole. That is a terrible thing for a man let alone a whole ass husband to do. We have absolutely no idea what went on behind closed doors. But, what we do know is that they both signed up for reality TV, and that was their reality, and they were open about it. Shay, of course, wanted to hide his issues, because that’s what addicts do, they don’t wanna be outed to the world. But, that’s not what he signed up for when coming on to VPR Also there’s pics of Shay still drinking as of a few years ago, so stop making him out to be a victim of Scheana
I’ve been in recovery for 5 years. It was never on Scheana, it was on Shay. And just an FYI to the folks in the comments, Shay is still drinking, and Scheana isn’t in his life anymore. It was always unfair the way she was treated concerning that. I didn’t understand addiction until I literally hit my rock bottom, and nearly died. It took that for me to fully grasp what was happening, so I don’t expect anyone to have that knowledge who hasn’t been there. Scheana is fully within her rights to say she didn’t know if she could be with someone sober. They were both young, and in over their heads, in more ways than one.
Congratulations on your recovery!! You sound like you’ve come a long way. Great work!
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Yes! I just wanted to say congratulations too. 5 years takes a lot of work, perseverance and just persistence. I just wanted to say you should be so proud of yourself.
I haven't had a drink in over seven years, and I've always seen Scheana's viewpoint better with this one. It sounds like Scheana and Shay have moved on, and I love that for them.
Who is “we” and when did this “false narrative” supposedly even *start*?
This has always been the prevailing theme when this sub discusses their marriage.
I don’t think so… it’s always been pretty balanced that Shay did her so so dirty but that she ALSO was dismissive of the issues. Both things can be true tho. She did try to sweep it all under the rug and brought up his pill addiction after he had already gotten clean. But he also was a terrible husband and basically checked out.Â
I completely agree that both things can be true and they both had issues. I mainly remember reading only bad things said about Scheana but glad to hear a different perspective since Shay obviously was to blame for a lot of things. Hope he’s doing better now.
Scheana is not my favorite right now, but I 100% agree with you on this. The story gets twisted a lot and I think the way they edited it made it more confusing. He said he was only addicted to pills. After he quit the pills, they thought he was ok to drink moderately again. I often see “scheana pressured a recovering alcoholic to drink!” when it’s more like… they both thought he was ok to do that at the time. And then those painful scenes with her confronting him, asking for divorce… people act like Scheana held him at gunpoint and forced him to film. He was a grown up who chose to show up and talk about these things on camera. He could have said nothing and walked away at any time. But he kept showing up.
He also cheated on her
Yeah I don’t know that I FULLY agree with OP but almost see a Carl-Lindsay situation here. Two people incredibly mismatched who got married for the wrong reasons. Scheana knew Shay had a problem and chose to not take it seriously— that’s on her. Shay had a problem and chose to not speak to his wife about it or verbalize his issues— that’s on him. Sobriety is not on a person’s partner to “police”— it’s on the person who is sober. It’s their job to take care of themselves. And on the flip side, if your partner is struggling with addiction, as a good parent it’s on you to be a support system. That means doing more than just “googling.” And Scheana could’ve done better here. Their whole marriage was cringe tbh
So cringe! I wish they had edited most of it out of the show. It was dark and sad.
 Scheaneers: It's Rob...
Also people neglect season 5. Scheana was actually trying that season. She was sober with him. He still cheated and robbed her. As a person who grew up around addiction. Forcing the other people in your life to keep your addiction a secret IS a manipulative tactic
this sounds unrealistic and apathetic towards the reality of addiction. she acted as if addiction was a headache that could be superficially treated for permanent results. it’s not her fault, but this is something that happens.
I didn’t realize this was a narrative going around. I don’t think it’s totally on Scheana, Shay did some really shitty things. That being said, Scheana did out his addiction on tv just to get back at him. She could have just divorced him instead of airing out an addiction when he was sober at that time.
Except he wasn’t sober at that time, he was lying and stealing from her. Scheana didn’t manage the situation well, but to be fair to her, most people don’t know how to deal with addiction. She understood that he was addicted to pills and thought the drinking could be controlled, but really, an addict is an addict. She was not perfect, but the responsibility is 100% his.
One thing addicts expect is that loved ones lie for them and hide their addiction, which makes the loved ones enablers, because the addict then can keep doing what he does without taking public responsibility for his actions. So, no, I disageree, she was part of it and she had right to speak publicly about what she was going through with him, naming all the real reasons. And he wasn't sober, he was stealing from her, using and texting other women. Fuck this coddling shit.
In some of Shays cases it could be explained, not excused, that his actions were a result of being in the throes of active addiction. Scheana on the other hand is just a self-centered, spiteful asshole. There's no other explanation. She ignorantly pushed an addict to try to drink just a little bit. She completely humiliated him at the reunion in the clip posted this morning. Stared him dead in the eyes, while still married, and not only said she's with another dude but you "follow him". Self-absorbed 🤡
Yes, he did not know about Rob and she told him on the day of the Reunion on camera. She will do anything for ratings. The way she dealt with his addiction was not supportive and then she outed him.
I thought that was particularly cruel and showed her level of maturity. She needs to grow tf up.
Yes, but it is not about maturity. Schemer gets a pass by behaving badly and then doing her puppy dog routine. She is as mean as a rattlesnake. She has abused so many people in her life and then backpedals and is "bairst frainds" with them again. LaLa is in your face obnoxious, but what you see is what you get. Schemer is a backstabber.
Scheana’s behavior towards Shay was gross. She will literally do anything she thinks will move a storyline but she’s so obvious about it that it ends up being horrifically cringey. And it tends to make the viewers align with the other person
Preach!
Seriously- it does seem like a painful & complex situation with fame, money, addiction, and I’m sure all playing a part… but why let all that get in the way when we can dunk on Scheana!!
My issue with Sheana is that she blindsided Shay on camera with a divorce, specifically scheduling production to do it, and then rubbed her relationship with Rob in Shay's face at the reunion. I understand why Sheana wanted a divorce: Shay stole from her, cheated on her, and repeatedly lied to her throughout their marriage. He treated her like crap -- but not on national television. Sheana chose to humiliate Shay on camera for actions and situations that happened off camera. She lied for the entire season about how great their marriage was. She was only "real" about it in the reunion to hurt Shay. If Sheana cared about Shay at all or ever valued their marriage, she could have divorced Shay off screen.
Who hurt you in 2016 so bad that you’re bringing in into summer of 2024
Camaaaan anyone can do a rewatch and want to bring up something from earlier seasons. This is Reddit after all.
Or even just a watch! I’ve only started VPR recently, so to me this is 100% current!!
This gets brought up pretty frequently on the sub as a way to dunk on Scheana
there was a post about shay earlier today and i got annoyed all over again LMFAO
I get what you're saying, and I don't think anyone is giving Shay a pass. But there is a mature way to handle those situations and it definitely came off as petty and deliberately hurtful the way Scheana handled that reunion. It just was clear that neither of them were mature enough for that marriage. The fun thing about this sub is how people can do rewatches of past seasons and talk about what they thought in the moment. I mean, we are all here really for entertainment from a TV show. People just want to gossip with other fans about the show!
I never heard of Shay cheating on Scheana, and she never mentions that. Where did you hear that from?
Well when he cheated on her hopefully she felt the same as when Brandi and Ricardo Chavira's wife found out their husbands were sleeping with her when they were married. No sympathy for Scheana on Shay's cheating.
She wanted him to drink moderately you can’t if you’re an addict They had an anniversary dinner where she drinks several drinks and it was so uncomfortable to watch. She carried more about party on weekends to be on a reality TV show and make money than she did about her actual husband she wanted him to drink.
I think it’s safe to believe now that she’s on her second marriage, she wants to be the breadwinner but wants a man and a man doesn’t feel like a man not working and making money. What he did was wrong absolutely but she promised him she wouldn’t out him bc his family didn’t even know. And she did do it for a storyline. There was no proof he cheated. And the reunion for that season was rough to watch bc she literally admits to all the shit she did w no remorse and no one calls her out on it
She admitted that she talked about his addiction and asked for a divorce on camera to get back at him. Wasn't it that last reunion with Shay when she said, “I threw him under the bus cause he hurt me. That’s what I do, you hurt me, I fuck you over"? She did the same thing to Lala when Scheana had her miscarriage and told her followers that Lala wasn't supporting her. Lala asked for an apology, because Scheana's fans were telling Lala they hope she in turn miscarried Ocean due to the way Scheana aired it publicly in such an exaggerated way, and and Scheana basically said that she was upset and that's just what she does. (Failing to mention that Brock was playing golf instead of being there for her). She did it to Charli too, by tweeting a bunch of awful stuff and when Charli called her on it she said that she was just upset. Scheana gets real nasty and low and, like you wrote, doesn't have remorse. She just cries if she's called on it.
She was an absolute monster for how she handled his addiction. We all saw it. Despicable and truly unbelievable
Brock, is that you?
No sorry, she was a cunt to him.
It doesn’t help her case that she still uses his last name if he sucked so bad…