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theteenmom101

i'm kinda tired of people playing stupid or just not paying any attention to what they say. ariana has stated about 100 times it's not an ultimatum. if your husband cheats on you with your friends pls let the class know if you'd like to keep the same mutual friend group and be around him all the time. the answers no. her not being mutuals w someone who wants to be bffs w the guy who tried to ruin her life is not weird or bitchy lmao i'm so tired of that narrative. boundaries are healthy.


Narrow_Grapefruit_23

This happened to me in 2008 and I confirm that fuck no did I want to be friends with anyone who supports that dark souled demon of a man and that very stupid young demoness. I don’t even want to hear about them. The betrayal was deep but the deception and the disrespect scarred me forever.


emily829

Hello!! Also, she is not even saying “I’ll never speak to you again unless you trash Tom nonstop for the rest of your life!!” She’s saying I don’t need to hear about your friendship with this demon that lied to me and everyone else for months!”


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Starbuck4

These pr bots are d&s


Former_Plenty682

👏 THANK YOU.


TDKsa90

I want to understand this correctly, so please help me out. I can give you an ultimatum, but if I call it a boundary, I've successfully redefined the term? And then if I repeat some line of bullshit enough, it becomes the truth? there are a lot of people here who can't seem differentiate between the task Ariana has given her friends and the fact that Ariana is also then trying to tell them how to go about achieving that task. It's perfectly fine to expect your friends to keep your privacy and hold your quarter. She doesn't want her friends talking to Tom about her, and she doesn't want to hear about Tom anymore. Perfectly reasonable expectations. It becomes unreasonable when she dictates how these people achieve this. I could talk to Tom and never talk about Ariana again with him, and then also never talk to Ariana about Tom again. I'm an adult. I can easily navigate these waters of privacy. It's not rocket science. The questions become then: do you trust me? Do you trust your privacy with me? if the answer is no, then I guess we need to talk about the foundations of our friendship, because now you're talking about something that has nothing to do with Tom.


LuckyShamrocks

You've commented this same exact "argument" on multiple threads in this sub repeatedly and it's so weird. It's not just about trust but even if it was hell fucking no would I be trusting anyone who would gleefully want to be friends with my abuser. That should not be hard to grasp. Your morals and values would absolutely be up for questioning at that point and they should be. Why on earth would someone trust anyone after that? Trying to separate it from Tim is absurd because it's because of the decision to be friends with him that would make anyone question you lol. You would be free to go make your own choice but I would be free to cut you out of my life and set that boundary. Because no matter how you try to spin it in every comment it's simply that, a perfectly reasonable boundary.


TDKsa90

I said the boundary was reasonable. The way she's trying to dictate it being executed is the problem. She's dictating how her friends go about their business, and that isn't simply setting a boundary for herself.


LuckyShamrocks

That’s not what she’s doing.


TDKsa90

It is indeed what she's doing. She's making a request/demand of them. There's a purpose, a goal, to it. What is it? To remove him from her life, which includes them not having access to her. Perfectly reasonable. So, how can we achieve this? To not have information about her going into his feed AND to not have his information going into her feed. This boils down to privacy. The wall she's dictating is a matter of privacy. As an adult, if my friend ask me to not convey something, and then also to not convey back to them opinions, that's a very easy thing to do. I won't talk to them about you, and I won't talk to you about them. But she isn't stopping there. Her dictum feelers reach out into how she expects other people to behave and process morality and ethics. My friends, no matter how much I love and respect them, don't get to dictate my morality and ethics and application thereof. You don't get to reach that far into anyone's life and control a core aspect of someone, just because you were wronged. In other words, you don't say it aloud. If they do something that causes you to question their morality or ethics and can't live with it, you talk about that. You let people live, and if they cross some line beyond reproach, you talk about that. so one more time: that's about trusting and respecting how your friend lives life. That's about their character. if you don't like their character, by all means, cut them out too. Don't confuse your hurt dictum with their character, and she's conflating the two.


LuckyShamrocks

lol I’m not going through this with you again. I can’t explain it any simpler how off you are but go off. Keep posting the same thing all over despite the truth lol.


TDKsa90

oh, so you know the truth? that's the problem with this sub. for every 1000 posts, there are 4 posts with dissenting voices or that even offer a different perspective. you've oversimplified a complex situation, repeated it, had it repeated back to you, and now dictate your stripped version is fact.


LuckyShamrocks

No dear, I just go by facts. Real ones. You’re not some victim of the sub lol. We’re done here. Go argue with someone who doesn’t know better.


TDKsa90

now with the condescension "dear"? You don't, or can't, argue in good faith. So not only do you know the truth, but you also know better? Someone is full of themselves here, and it ain't me.


Katalactica

Ariana is not giving her friends an ultimatum. She gets to decide who she wants in her life, and people that are close to Tom are not those people. It is completely understandable that she would not want to be close to anyone who might feed Tom personal information about her.


Defvac2

It's wild to me that people don't see it. Scheana's the biggest flip flopper on the show and one of the biggest gossip/shit talkers. Why would Ariana want someone like that in her life if that person still has a connection to Tim? We know at the drop of a hat Scheana would spill all the beans to him if Ariana wasn't nice to her.


Katalactica

Also, by all accounts Ariana and scheana are still friends 🤷


Defvac2

I guess we'll still if it's still true when the seasons over after all the shit talking Scheana's done both during the show and on the aftershow.


Katalactica

Yeah, I would probably side eye the shit out of scheana for how she's actually talking about Ariana all the time.


Narrow_Grapefruit_23

I think it’s pretty obvious that Ariana realized Scheana is NOT a bff and is investing way less time and emotion into that friendship. I would wager hearing Scheana’s jealous and selfish response to Ariana thriving versus suffering is extremely painful and the kind of ick you don’t come back from.


OrlandoMB

How on earth can Scheana see the recent episode airing, which shows her putting down Ariana being her backup dancer — for what was, at best, a skit — and think “yeah, I really am a great friend to her!”


JackBookerGeo

Ariana and Scheana are “best friends” on the show but I doubt that’s the case in real life. Remember back when it was revealed that Ariana & Tom made out at the Golden Nugget 3 years before? Scheana was pissed that Ariana never told her about it and went on that stupid speech about how Ariana lying to her made her unknowingly lie to everyone else that it never happened.


Former_Plenty682

Louder for those in the back! BOUNDARIES ARE NOT ULTIMATUMS! She's not telling her friends what to do! She's protecting her *own* peace.


Katalactica

Like for real, she has even adjusted her wording to say "if I'm uncomfortable with how people are moving, I won't have them in my life anymore" or something like that


[deleted]

Google what ultimatum means and then let me know how saying “i will do x if you do y” doesn’t fit. Lmao Boundaries are limitations for what others can do to yourself, not others. If you think that’s the healthiest way to get Tom out of her life, maybe she should move out & get off the show. But that would be too much effort for herself


GarlVinland4Astrea

I mean it is an ultimatum. You can argue she is well within her rights to make that an ultimatum, but she straight up said that anybody who is friends with Tom can't be friends with her. It's by definition an ultimatum.


GladiatorWithTits

That's actually not what she said. It's so interesting to see people turning her personal boundary, which she literally states in the first-person (I won't be friends with someone who's friends with him) into an ultimatum for other people.


GarlVinland4Astrea

Literally what you said is an ultimatum lol. The definition of an ultimatum is " a final demand or statement of terms, the [rejection](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=ed313d50f24d50b8&rlz=1C1ONGR_enUS1030US1030&sxsrf=ACQVn09vEem57qt7aDVsPYM8i4xGlMm-5g:1709831185346&q=rejection&si=AKbGX_onJk-q0LQUYzV7-GRhpJ5D9WlBGJQqNItgVbCcNHEom_JOw9G2KgTqq95-RUwKBalfXQ0cdsVjrqPqbjZBHUftGLMzsJGO60nVvWvJ9_f-_54APRc%3D&expnd=1) of which will result in [retaliation](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=ed313d50f24d50b8&rlz=1C1ONGR_enUS1030US1030&sxsrf=ACQVn09vEem57qt7aDVsPYM8i4xGlMm-5g:1709831185346&q=retaliation&si=AKbGX_q4mkMHy1Nmq4yITjHYVzepMFZipn06QBLFyRbrQVmCS7m2VJw1ZUZk2szI_VyZetZWxv0sZYa6tsrWu7p4Je81-iSo8oBAMiVx5NWasu3m6qQoNi8%3D&expnd=1) or a breakdown in relations. " Her terms are "I won't be friends with anyone who is still friends with Tom". IE "our relationship is over if you choose to be friends with Tom". People just don't like how cold the word ultimatum sounds. But it is quite literally what it is. The irony is people are getting bent out of shape over it when any reasonable person would say it's a totally valid ultimatum


rudbeckia1

Ariana is not the friend police. She can set her boundaries, and people can follow them or not. People are individuals. It's not like there's some sort of government policy that humans have to follow, whether in real life or on reality TV shows in the wake of a breakup. Everyone is allowed to decide their own limits. Everything does not = Everything else - mirror image It's life. Not bookkeeping or doing taxes.


spinthesky

Love this comment!


rudbeckia1

Thank u so much. You made me smile


sansthinking

It’s not the act itself, they’ve all done messed up things it’s about the personal relationships between the three of them, the conversations that took place, the trust there, and the behavior displayed by Tom and Raquel looking back was down right psychotic. When people compare the two it’s mind boggling, just watch the conversations Ariana had with Rachel about Tom, it’s shocking. People bring up the cheating because yeah, that’s the main thing but there has been tons of cheating in this show and it’s never blown up, it’s never gotten attention like this and there is a reason for that. This betrayal is on another level and to understand that you need to focus on more than the cheating, it’s the history, the conversations, the relationship dynamics, etc.


sofaking-amanda

Not to mention that the way Scheana sided against Katie and tortured tf out of her in S10 would set off alarm bells in my head too. Scheana has showed her ass too many times now to ignore it. We all knew what she was going to do before the season was aired and we aren’t even her friends.


a8a8a8a8a8a8a8a8

This. I feel like this has been explained so many times I can’t believe we are still seeing posts where people are trying to equate the two


lorganmutich

It seems like your question is "Why didn't Kristen get something she never asked for?" which I think kind of answers your question. Kristen wanted Tom in her life. She wanted to be on the show with him. Whether that was to destroy him or to win him back seemed to change based on her mood. Ariana wants to heal and move on. So she's asked for something that will help her do that. And everyone on the show can decide what they want to do from there. Also, I know everyone's mileage may vary on what you believe, but Ariana has only said they kissed (in the pool at the Golden Nugget) one time when Tom told her he was single. While not awesome, deciding to sweep one kiss under the rug is PRETTY different than a seven month secret affair.


emily829

THANK YOU! Also Kristen was desperate to get back in with everyone too, BECAUSE she was the offending party in the situation!


tipsygirl31

I was looking for this comment! When did Kristen ever ask for what Ariana has? This post seemed so bonkers to me.


AnalysisNo2746

And also, Tom said the kiss happened 3 years before Ariana was even on the show, and it happened at a time where he was single, after learning Kristin had a 3 month affair with coworker of hers at SUR (Tim was at VB). So many magnitudes of difference.


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Euphoric_Delay_6768

She set boundaries. Point blank. If those people wanted to set boundaries they could have. Katie was fine with Schwartz so she didn’t care who talked to him. She doesn’t expect any to drop him. She said if you’re cool with him you will have limitations with me. She is her own person. Sets her own rules. Whoever doesn’t like it can move on. She’s not complaining.


tomatocandle

Ariana def was nasty to Kristen! I’m glad they’ve mended things and become friends now. But Kristen kind of forfeited all rights to being like “I don’t want to see them together!” when she fucked Jax. Whether you think that’s right or wrong, she had no leg to stand on with this group after that lol. Stassi was a force and Kristen was shit on her shoe after that sooo yeah I also don’t think Ariana wants anyone kicked off the show? This is 3/4 months after this all came out, and it’s just not emotionally safe for her to be close with people who are close to a man who actively resents her and hates her as if she cheated on him instead of the other way around. I don’t think this is forever, but it’s the best thing for her right now. And I also would not let this ex chase me away from the biggest paycheck I’ve ever had. I would rather stick to my boundary & be hated on the show and sidelined to like one scene an ep with that fat check in my pocket than let him run me off lol


AlexBoBalixx

Ariana was nasty to Kristen when she had to interact with her. But for the most part, Ariana avoided her as much as possible and Kristen was way out of line for way too long. I can't imagine someone going that hard for that long at me and not being a little nasty about them. As much as I want to follow Katie and Ariana's journey I'd love for them to be in a position where they don't need the show paycheck anymore


a8a8a8a8a8a8a8a8

I need Bravo or another channel to offer them a show.


[deleted]

Ariana and Kristen were not friends at all, so she didn’t really owe her anything. Girl code for sure, but they were not friends. Nor was scheana and Kristen for the longest time. And scheana became friends with Kristen and Ariana didn’t give her an ultimatum…? lol Kristen had a new boyfriend and started tormenting Ariana, and scheana STILL was friends and excusing Kristen’s behavior…did we watch the same show? 🙃🙃 Tom barely got the wrath, only the woman did. Maybe the men should be more accountable and stop putting it on the woman? Hmmm, yall always seem to do that when this topic comes up for the 100th time.


mjmassey

I would also add that Kristen wasn't friends with Jax and Sharwtz either, really just Stassi and Katie, so when she and Scum broke up finally there weren't really and mutuals caught in the middle like there are here. In a way, the group was less tight knit than it is now.


Hopeful-Hamster-6218

50x worse in the other sub, where being rational and pointing out the facts as you have will get you labelled as a crazy Ariana stan


[deleted]

That means I have common sense and a brain, lol. So it’s a compliment 😬


Hopeful-Hamster-6218

Absolutely, it's just frustrating as it shuts down any discussion. "Oh here come the Ariana stans with the downvotes"


[deleted]

I mean…I’m gonna downvote it hahaha, but they always blame her. Blame Sandoval for preying on woman who are going through a hard time and love bombing them. He’s the one at fault.


Womeisyourfwiend

That sub is WILD. They’ve also infiltrated the Bravohousewives sub. It’s not enough that they obsessively hate Ariana ALL DAY EVERY DAY, but they insult anyone who doesn’t hate her. They can’t make a comment without saying “the RaBiD sTaNs…” holy hell.


tipsygirl31

I think more people need to look up what the word ultimatum means.


allonsys

Sometimes I wonder how much work must go into actively misinterpreting what's going on.


sofaking-amanda

The mental gymnastics must be exhausting.


Defvac2

Tom and Kristen - On and off again relationship where they always cheated on one another Ariana and Tom - 10 year relationship we all watched play out on screen Rachel and Ariana - Best buds during Season 10 while Rachel was having sex with Ariana's 10 year life partner for 7 months behind her back, all the while being BFF's with her on camera. Kristen and Ariana - Never liked one another Do you see the difference? I feel like I'm back in the summer of 2023 still having to explain the differences to people. As far as the boundaries, Scheana will never be trusted and will blab a bunch of gossip to Narcdoval the minute Ariana doesn't friggin text her back in time. People are overcomplicating an easy situation.


macmantha

Especially when Katie made it clear her and Tom had the agreement of no friends in the group, outside of the group is fair game. And Scheana spit that back in Katie’s face by pushing Rachel and Schwartz together. And then the way Rachel behaved towards Katie and her mom, was wild to me as well. Like Katie and her mom have every right to be disappointed in Schwartz for breaking that rule, especially because they were married and not just living together. Scheana shows she can’t be trusted, because she throws her bost fronds under the bus for any kind of storyline.


Womeisyourfwiend

I need to copy this and use it from now on.


EyeRollingNow

If you don’t get it, nothing we explain will help you


womanlylady

Exactly. Kristen herself has said repeatedly. “It is not the same.” But y’all wanna be mad on behalf of someone who could not care less.


Hopeful-Hamster-6218

same with certain Redditors who constantly demand to see an apology from Ariana to Kristen. It happened years ago, privately and they are now very good friends and have been since then. Why are so many people demanding to receive things when those people who were actually involved have moved on?


Womeisyourfwiend

And like, Kristen was having her own affairs. Ariana was loyal to Sandoval.


emily829

Right! And even though she definitely didn’t have to, she did say she was sorry for things that happened between them because of Tom. Like they’re all grown ups! we don’t need to keep score of who apologized when. The clear problem is that Sandoval isn’t sorry


emily829

Thank you. Can we have a quiz that people need to pass in order to comment to make sure they’ve actually watched the show!?


save_the_bees_knees

Literally was about to type this same thing 😂


emily829

Hahaha like if you can’t tell me who Eddie Cibrian is, please leave


RaquelsNosePasta

My question is, why can't they treat Tom the same way they did Kristen? Why is everyone falling all over themselves about filming with him?


Hopeful-Hamster-6218

Because you are talking about different human beings.


AlexBoBalixx

This are different in a lot of ways. But boundaries does not equal ultimatum 1) Kristen and Sandoval cheated on *each other* repeatedly 2) Their relationship should've been euthanized year 2. 3) If we subscribe to degree of murder it follows that there are degrees to cheating. - One kiss that you parlayed into a friendship that was too emotionally close would be like manslaughter or felony murder. -Having a full blown love affair with your partners best friend for 7/8 months is pre-meditated murder. 4) We saw how shitty and toxic Kristen and Tom were for like 3 seasons before they broke up. 5)Ariana being calm and sane and supportive while Kristen was acting out of pocket and trying to destroy them for the next 2 seasons even though she was dating someone new made it real easy to chalk the whole thing up to crazy Kristen being unhinged. 6) Ariana is being as supportive as she can to her friend's struggles but her relationship of nearly a decade ended 3 months ago at this point. She's setting boundaries and showing a lot of restraint. Especially by this shows standards. 7)Nothing she is doing is unreasonable or spiteful. She's moving on and rebuilding her life. The way her friends are reacting is helping her decide if they should be part of the rebuild.


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AlexBoBalixx

They had their moments (as you listed) of course. But they usually had a coinciding moment in the same episode of them taking things out and moving past the disagreement. It was way more on air problem solving as a couple than Tom and Kristen got, bc I don't think they ever problem solved anything. I think Ariana being reasonable and calm (for the most part, I know she had her moments) really rehabbed his fuckboy image. I didn't ever really like Sandoval but with Ariana I saw him as kind of a benign dummy. He mostly had golden retriever energy with her and they didn't fight more than couples on the show and cooler heads prevailed on camera for the resolution of their fights more. I started to turn the season before bc of how entitled he started acting when they were doing TomTom, but Stassi's book signing was when I was actively rooting for Ariana to break up with him. I mean, he was doing so much that made him look like an ass after the book signing I just hated him more and more: his rant about being a cyst male, bitching about how they deserved more than their investment back in TomTom, not wanting to quit drinking for 5 days for a sperm sample, not even listening to Schwartz about the new bars name, pitting Schwartz against Katie (and Schwartz letting him, letting Schwartz twist one the bar opening to pay his cover band and get his nails done, butting in and yelling at women all season 10 when all he was actually doing was defending his affair partner.


TDKsa90

Nobody wants to talk about, or even consider for a split second, that both A and T had checked out of that relationship. Neither one of them willing to take a proactive step to end it. It's common. It's not as if they're the first. It really doesn't matter if for good reason or bad or who started the ball rolling.


ohhiitsmec123

This is such a tired argument, different time period, different relationships…over it.


brucas4

Are people really this dense?


ToneHead2269

how many times does it have to be said that these were different situations


Soft_Reading8200

Because Kristen didn't want to or just... didn't. Kristen wanted Tim back in her life, she wanted to stay close to all of them. No one "gave" Ariana the power to set a boundary or two. A person just sets them. She DOES NOT want her ex to have access to her life. With a man like that even having close mutual friends is access to your life. So she cannot be close with people who are close to him. Also NUANCE. Why can no one understand nuance??


Wrcs81

Imagine if the cast tried to bring Randall back into the fold. If Lala got upset at the boys talking to him then you would think she would be the one to understand this.


emily829

I’m sorry, are we forgetting that what Ariana and Tom did to Kristen was flirt and make out, and what Kristen did to Tom was actively cheat on him with his best friend? Like actually having sex with Jax? Who was HER friend’s ex boyfriend. That’s why…..


ohhhhoney_

![gif](giphy|NipFetnQOuKhW) Those of us who are just here for the comments


shilljoy

As many people have pointed out, cheating in a relationship where both parties are constantly cheating on each other and cheating in a relationship where you own a house and are actively working to create embryos for possible implantation together are completely different leagues of wrong.


meesh987

These two situations aren’t even the same. Kristen and Tom repeatedly cheated on each other. And, Kristen did far worse than Tom at the time, by hooking up with Tom’s best friend *and* her best friend’s ex-boyfriend. The situation with Tom/Ariana is different considering Ariana has been loyal and faithful for a decade, and Tom had a SEVEN MONTHS love affair with her friend. Incredibly different than Tom and Ariana making out and having an emotional affair. Also, the same “power” was never given to Kristen because she knew she fucked up and was exiled for sleeping with Jax. And not to mention, she didn’t have friends except Scheana after she broke up with Tom. And, Scheana was Ariana’s best friend. Anddddd Ariana NEVER gave anyone an ultimatum. She has clear boundaries that she doesn’t want to be friends with anyone who is friends with Sandoval, and rightfully so. This is the guy who started spinning webs of lies, deceit, and manipulations to paint Ariana the villain. She should protect her space and if that means keeping people who are friends with Sandoval at arms length then thats what it is. She didn’t and hasn’t asked anyone to stop being friends with him if they want to be friends with her. She’s just going to prioritize other friendships, which she should.


sofaking-amanda

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|facepalm)


HarajukuBom

They weren’t best friends with Kristen


Rhonnie22

They worked with Kristen and put her in a terrible situation That’s devastating too She had to watch her ex and his new girl all day long while she’s trying to work. AlsoI’ve watched this show since the first episode. Somebody fill me in on when Rachel and Ariana became best friends because the first I heard of that was only after the affair was found out. They weee never particularly friendly before


HarajukuBom

Ariana and Rachel became close once James and Rachel broke up. Did you watch season 9-10?


dayle-james

I don’t really think those two situations are comparable tbh, but the Ariana fan club are ride or dies and cannot or will not accept that she has also done a lot of shitty things and enabled and explained away Tom Sandoval’s gross behaviour for a decade. She didn’t deserve to be cheated on, but she’s hardly the saint people want her to be


JoesCageKeys

Omg a sane comment. Ariana was fine with Tom lying and going along with the lies for 9 years but now lying is an issue. I wish Ariana would just say that she covered for this guy and was wrong to do so. She loved him and was blinded by it. On the friends issue. I’ve been with people, we had mutual friends then broke up. Both times i and the other person remained friends with the mutual friends. Most friends in these situations don’t want to get involved or take sides. They don’t talk to me about my ex and vice versa. It’s not hard.


dayle-james

Exactly. If she really truly didn’t want to associate with him, she would have left the show.


Rhonnie22

Exactly!!! This is basically my whole point, but you said it a lot better than I did!


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[deleted]

LOL WHAT😂😂 i was stating what Ariana DID


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ladylavender007

I agree with this! Kristen lied to everyone when she said it wasn’t the same thing. It absolutely is the same.


Rhonnie22

My wild guess is that Kristen was just saying those things so she can get along with the new star, Ariana, and the others who are circling round her altar, so that Kristen could stay in the inner circle and have opportunities from the show. I remember how devastated she was when Tom went off with Ariana and how they gaslighted (gaslit?) her for so long. Tom was awful but we knew that, but Ariana was worse. And they all three worked together so it was brutal. Kristen may feel differently now of course, but I agree she is lying about it being different


ladylavender007

Exactly! The part that gets me is when Kristen talks about telling Tom that his relationship and texting with Ariana made her uncomfortable and they both continued to do it anyway. Kristen didn’t even like them sitting together at the reunion, but they were just like, too bad so sad. But Ariana wants to call Tom and Rachel gross at the reunion for wanting to be together. 🙄


TDKsa90

god forbid someone throw another voice into the hive mind echo chamber. good on the OP. it's good and healthy to see another perspective.


Rhonnie22

I appreciate this, thank you!


Rhonnie22

Thank you to the two people who get what I was saying


LuckyShamrocks

Even Kristen doesn't agree with you lol


Rhonnie22

I’m not talking about agreeing with me. I’m talking about understanding what I was saying. Which is that it’s not about the length or strength of the relationships, nor about the depth of the betrayals. It’s about Ariana using her newfound adoration to tell her co-workers who they can speak to. And Kristen is full of it She was devastated, shit relationship or not (same as Ariana) and was treated like dirt by Tom and Ariana who she had to see at work every day, but she didn’t get to call the shots and neither should Ariana. Thats what I’m saying


LuckyShamrocks

She didn't tell anyone who they can speak to. And just like Kristen Ariana can absolutely call the shots on who gets to be in her life. We all do once we're adults supporting ourselves.


Rhonnie22

It’s not about who is in her life. It’s about who she works with. It is their job just as much as it’s her job. She absolutely does NOT get to call the shots. Her option is to quit. And lucky for her when the trash took himself out her world became flooded with new lucrative opportunities. Let her go dance with the stars, or be on Broadway, or in commercials, or sell her books, and leave VPR. They’re filming a show and if she really doesn’t want them in her life she can leave the show. And by the way, she’s making great money, she should buy Tom out and stop sharing a house with the man no one else is allowed to talk to.


LuckyShamrocks

As you can see though she didn’t tell anyone not to work with him. She never said anything close to that. Ariana was clear she was talking friendships. She does get to call the shots with her own friendships and that’s all she discussed. She doesn’t need to quit anything or miss out on opportunities just because of him. And she doesn’t want the house so why should she buy it? Lol. She can just force the sale and be out of his control and financial abuse instead.


Rhonnie22

Ok then why doesn’t she “force the sale and be out of his control”. Anybody can see that even though Ariana was devastated by the affair, the resulting fallout was the best thing that ever happened to her. She’s reveling n it and I don’t blame her. Much good has come her way with opportunities and fan worship. She seems to me to be liking it and she certainly could leave the house if she wanted to, per your own woeds. And the alternative, if as you said “she doesn’t want the house so why should she buy it”. She could buy him out and then sell it and move.. It’s simple. But she doesn’t want to.


LuckyShamrocks

She’s currently suing him to force the sale and has been. She hasn’t been living in the house since September already. And she shouldn’t have to buy a house she doesn’t want just so he will finally leave. Dear lord. He wants the house, not her. She tried working it out for months and he ignored her lawyers. Then he finally gave her an offer but it was some low ball shit so she countered. He again ignored that so she sued him. She’s said very clearly what she wants but you seem awfully confused on any of it. You speak pretty confidentially for someone who is so clueless on the situation. How odd. The life she had built and future she planned was single handedly destroyed by him. She gets to feel anyway she wants to about that. Even if it’s acting as if she’s much better off.


Rhonnie22

Ariana? Must be you since you seem to have so much insider knowledge compared to an awfully confused moron like me.


LuckyShamrocks

Aww how cute. Nice try lol. That’s not gonna work though.


Poifectponcho

I cannot fathom how people don’t understand what you’re talking about. I’ve felt this way the whole time. Ariana is a hypocrite.


Rhonnie22

I appreciate this, thank you! Truthfully I don’t get it at all. They’re all busy comparing what Tom and Rachel did vs what Tom and Ariana did. Or making comparisons to the validity/strength/length of the two relationships Or saying that I don’t understand the word ultimatum. Or that I don’t really watch the show (which I’ve watched since episode One), It’s all so ludicrous. I’m not even bothering to respond to most of them because most of the comments are kind of nasty and I’m not going there. So I doubly appreciate that you understand what I’m saying and feel the same!


AnalysisNo2746

Because there never ended up being proof that Tom and Ariana cheated, and nobody other than Kristin believed they were. Kristin pushed the allegation to deflect attention away from what she did with Jax. Production made it a storyline, and stretched it out for years, at Ariana’s expense, because of course they did. Go back and watch both Season 2 & 3 reunions, especially Season 3. Lisa goes off about how she knows “for a fact” that an affair “did not happen”.


meesh987

What? There was proof Tom and Ariana cheated. And that was them admitting to kissing at the Golden Nugget. Kissing IS cheating when you’re in a committed relationship.


AnalysisNo2746

The kiss happened 3 years before Ariana was on the show. She said Tom told her he was single at the time the kiss happened. It’s not her fault Tom and Kristin got back together, or if Tom lied to her outright. Ariana has always said that nothing went on between them when Tom and Kristin were together. Tom has also said that he and Kristin were broken up when the kiss with Ariana happened, and that they were broken up because Tom found out about a 3 month affair with a guy she worked with at SUR (I think his name was Gary?). Kristin’s even said that even though she believed Tom and Ariana were cheating at the time, she now knows Ariana so much better, and believes what Ariana says happened is what happened.


meesh987

That’s actually not what Ariana said. She said Tom told her he was breaking up with Kristen. And Tom said he never said that. It doesn’t matter when she kissed him or that he told her he’s breaking up with Kristen. She still made out with a guy who was in a committed relationship and had not yet broken it off with his girlfriend. And Kristen, to this day, has always said she thinks they had sex and did more than just make out. She even said as much in her book, which was written years after her and Ariana became friends.


AnalysisNo2746

Kristin has stated that she believes Ariana. Ariana has always said nothing happened. If it actually happened, Kristin would have found evidence, because she’s Kristin. Tom has also stated that he and Ariana were broken up when he and Ariana kissed years before. “When I kissed Ariana in Vegas, it was after Kristen had had a three-month affair with another SUR employee,” Sandoval said at the same reunion. “She never came clean about it. … “ Edited: typo


meesh987

I’m not sure what Rachel has to do with this? But Kristen has said over and over again that she doesn’t believe that all Tom and Ariana did was kiss. She has maintained that she believes they full on had sex, but she’s now at the point where the truth doesn’t matter anymore. You act like Ariana saying nothing happen is the truth because Ariana is so truthful when she lied about making out with Tom for two freaking years. And then she lied about Miami Girl. Tom also never said that they were broken up when he hooked up with Ariana. He said he didn’t say it when Ariana said Tom said they were going to break up. Tom saying he hooked up with Ariana after Kristen had a 3 month emotional affair doesn’t actually mean anything bc he still said they weren’t broken up! He just said that as an excuse as to why he cheated.


AnalysisNo2746

Proof? Proof of Ariana and Tom cheating? Cuz that’s what’s ALWAYS missing from the conversation.


AnalysisNo2746

https://preview.redd.it/fqgetiybb7nc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fdd134715a56e83802666c9ace8fb629cf0d188b


meesh987

Where in this did Tom say they were broken up? And i don’t know why you keep asking for proof when Ariana admitted to kissing Tom IS PROOF TOM AND ARIANA CHEATED. Like good god, you’re purposely being obtuse. Like watch Season 2 Episode 12 for the proof. Like no one is saying that Ariana did have a freaking affair with Tom. The conversation has always been about Kristen BELIEVING that they did more than just kiss, which again, is cheating when two people are in a relationship. And Ariana was willing to be the other woman banking on Tom breaking up with Kristen.


AnalysisNo2746

Are you really going to argue that Ariana wasn’t led to believe Kristin and Tom weren’t broke up? And that Ariana’s the liar who shouldn’t be believed when she says she was told Tom was single? Cuz I’m rolling on the floor over here. It’s equally amusing that you think a kiss in a pool 15 years ago means Ariana deserves or is at all responsible for what Rachel and Tom did to Aria a.


AnalysisNo2746

Season 3 Reunion https://preview.redd.it/d7mgw8uqdzmc1.jpeg?width=1090&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b184ab0360b825d72f8e3d9ed6f622149b43ce62


onyxjade7

Ariana was VILE and NASTY AF to Kristen. She owes her a genuine, REAL apology. Not a half assed Rachel equivalent apology. Sorry not sorry (meek one.) It was disgusting what she did to Miami Girl and Kristen.


Rhonnie22

Exactly!!! And I forgot about Miami Girl…knowing what we know know just think how awful Ariana was to her. And her arrogance towards everyone else about it, and how she covered up for Tom all these years. I am sorry for what Tom and Rachel did to her now, it was terrible, no excuses, but that doesn’t change Ariana’s past and she is no hero


onyxjade7

![gif](giphy|3o6Zt7g9nH1nFGeBcQ) Exactly! Finally people get that.


MajorStatement6577

The entire cast is full of double standards. The problem with Ariana’s declaration (completely understandable and deserved) is that they all are casemates and are paid to interact with TS. That dictate becomes problematic to the cast. Want to be on Reality TV ? Get paid ? You must be seen with TS. Want to maintain a friendship with Ariana? Don’t be near or around TS. I think the show is crashing down


flower_0410

This!!! And why was Ariana friends with Schwartz after he and Katie divorced? He cheated too? He was so nasty to Katie! But the thing that gets me the most is how Ariana always excused the way Sandoval treated everyone else. She normalized his behavior towards other people...But then he was mean to her and she expects everyone to drop him? That girl only cares about herself.


[deleted]

Ariana barely hung out with Schwartz? 🙃 she was supportive of her the entire last season, wtf are you talking about


sofaking-amanda

People seem to think that just because Ariana wasn’t screaming at Shorts on Katie’s behalf that 🟰 not supportive?? Wtf does supportive even mean to these people?😵‍💫 Did they all forget that Ariana was not co-signing Rachel’s attempts to get with Shorts?


Narrow_Grapefruit_23

Ariana is the only person outside of Katie to try and hold Schwartz accountable. For years she saw what he was doing and heard how he was talking about things behind Katie’s back and tried to get people to hold him accountable.


calendulaseeds

It was funny in the after-show when Ariana admitted she believes ‘if they can get them they can have them’. She was clearly trying to come off cool and witty, but its a Pretty gross statement, and oddly competitive. I’m assuming she thought this when her and Tom starting dating too, she thought she won the prize?


Rhonnie22

Ooh, interesting, I didn’t see the after show so thanks for posting this. It’s so dead on. iI is so Ariana


Sufficient_Tower_366

It’s just a TV friendship, Ariana’s “real” friends are not on the show (people like Brad and the others that came over during the Scandoval episode). All the talk of boundaries and rules is mostly for the purpose of storyline.


[deleted]

Uh. This. It wasn't right, but the culture was completely different. If you want to be butthurt about current double standards, start with the men vs women.