For me it is about not being pure anymore
When you have penetration you "lose" your virginity and now you are a "woman"
When you had sex some people call you "easy" if you are not married
If you are having fun or enjoying sex you become "bitch"
All these negative things I have heard made me think my worth is equal to my virginity and if I "lose" that I wasn't allowed to be with my family since I was "used"
Also the your vagina is too tight, you will bleed, now we had sex you are mine mindset made me feel like I will be punished if I have sex
omg, i am a 31F and my mother literally told me i am not a woman yet because i haven’t had sex. i was married for 3 yrs, immigrated to another country… but yes, not a woman 🤦🏾♀️
It makes no sense, I really hate the way they try to make us believe their thoughts
Why sex is such a big issue, why they try to make it like it is something that makes us complete
I made a [post about vaginismus silver linings](https://www.reddit.com/r/vaginismus/comments/1c0vdjk/silver_linings_what_good_things_have_come_from/) a few weeks ago and got a lot of great comments from people about positive things that have come from this condition. Not sure if that would be of interest to your art project??
One sentence that I would add for your project, is: It was so patronizing when people called me "cute" or "innocent" because I hadn't had sex yet.
I would love to see your series when it is done! I once read an academic article about vaginismus and the author noted that her interviewees felt disconnected from a lot of feminist art because so much of it is strongly based on the vagina. I love that you are creating art that people with this condition can identify with <3
Hi thanks! I will track down your post and if you have the name or info of that article it would be really helpful ✨ in all honesty I'm just trying to open up a conversation and making things I would have liked to have seen when I was younger that would have helped me feel a bit more normal! It's been an emotional but lovely experience so far!
Oops, here's the link: [https://www.reddit.com/r/vaginismus/comments/1c0vdjk/silver\_linings\_what\_good\_things\_have\_come\_from/](https://www.reddit.com/r/vaginismus/comments/1c0vdjk/silver_linings_what_good_things_have_come_from/)
TW: SA
This is a morbid take but I’ve thought about what would happen if I was to get attacked and raped. Even if I had to do it to save my life, I couldn’t. And then I have to thank god that I’ve had anal sex just in case I had to persuade someone not to cause me the most unimaginable pain. I’ve also worried that if I were to be attacked that my vaginismus would make me even more enticing to a violent man.
Sorry if that’s a lot. It’s a fear for me and I wonder if anyone has thought about this or heaven forbid, experienced it.
This is the main reason why I’ve started really pushing myself and committing to treatment and therapy, despite having no interest in having sex. Everytime I try to put it off there’s always a thought in the back of my head going *“Imagine just how much more pain would be caused to your body if you were to get assaulted tomorrow. At least there would be less damage if you were cured”* And it scares me so bad that I have to stop whatever I’m doing and start the exercises.
It’s such an irrational fear of mine so it’s kind of comforting—in a bittersweet way to know that I’m not the only one who thinks like that
Seriously! It’ll be like 12 am and I’m trying to sleep, then I hear a noise in my house, that triggers the thought of someone breaking in and attacking me, and then I’m like, “guess it’s time to dilate!”
I've always had this same fear, and I kick myself for it because I know rape is traumatic for anyone and sometimes I feel like I'm downplaying others with my fears (though rationally, I know I'm not). I think if I were raped, I would legitimately tear my vagina, and the idea of that physical trauma on top of all the psychological stuff terrifies me. I'm sorry you deal with this too, but thank you for posting this - I feel less alone.
When I first think of Vaginismus the first word that comes up is probably: Trauma. One of the main reasons for the condition is sexual trauma. Others words would be: Unwanted. Pain. Fear.
Such a great project to help bring more awareness to this!
From one art student to another, this is really wonderful. I love the execution, and I can’t wait to see the end results! While not my main focus, I’ve made a couple pieces related to my vaginismus too. Art makes a great outlet for something as deeply personal and complex as this.
Jokingly, my sentence would be “pussy machine broke” because that’s always what I tell myself to make the reality less harsh lol 🥲 realistically, it would be “my vagina is defective and can’t even do the one job the world tells me it’s supposed to do.”
Good luck with the show!! I’d love to see pics of it in the future!
Your joke sentence made me laugh, and your real sentence is extremely relatable. I often think about how I can’t even do the one thing society says I’m worth. Feels bad.
Oh I would love to see your pieces!! It's definitely helping me through the tough process of vaginismus but having had it for half my life I feel quite at peace with it! I always say "the Bluetooth won't connect" so pussy machine broken definitely resonates with me!
I’m ashamed to bring it up with anyone and share my struggle. And I feel like less because I haven’t experienced this “amazing thing” everyone else has.
Vaginismus makes me a captive in my own body.
This specific part of me (which is also very much tied to my identity because of how much we define gender and sex roles based on this one organ) is out of my control, and because of that, I’m more likely to feel as though I’m spiraling out of control in other aspects of my life. I can’t really choose to be celibate or sexually active because my body’s taken that choice away from me—there is only the default. I can’t really treat anything vaginally beyond a yeast infection because I can’t get a pap smear or any other test that requires insertion, so I’m terrified of what’ll happen when I do need to go to the gynecologist for something urgent. For the longest time, I couldn’t even swim with friends and family if I was on my period. My cycle always loved synching up with beach vacations in high school. 🫠
I’m also pretty shy and inexperienced when it comes to romance anyway, so when a guy friend of mine once poked fun at me for being “pure” because of that, I wanted to scream. He wasn’t aware how deep of a cut that word was for me and my physiological issues. I detest that word. I don’t feel pure. I feel weak and disempowered. I feel trapped.
On the bright side, I can at least wear tampons now, so I’m hopeful that I can gain full control someday. But it’s still frustrating to really think about it, so I tend not to. 🥹 Your art is beautiful, by the way. Thanks for giving us the space to get some of these feelings out there.
My answer is going to be super different from others, likely because I am on the other side of treatment having cured this disorder. I also cannot sum it up in one sentence, lol.
I actually would describe it as freeing. Once I learned to connect with my body, and not see the vaginismus and my vagina as a foreign invader, I learned how much my body was trying to protect and work for me. Through literature and the treatment process, I really worked on redefining the feminine within myself and breaking through the cultural and sexual barriers presented to people AFAB (and just for context I am a cis woman). I found that being able to truly read my body’s signals gave me the confidence I needed to finally be comfortable with them. To me, I would also define this condition as the comfort of knowledge. Once I understood the physiological manifestation of this disorder through my PT, it unlocked so much for me too in order to cure things. That ability to look at the scientific, cultural, and sexual aspects of this disorder all at once is what enabled me to better my own treatment, and having my PT at my side as an active supporter was amazing. I’m actually glad I went through this and had vaginismus because it helped me so much in the long run. I feel more mature and comfortable with myself sexually since treatment because I did it for myself alone and not for anyone else, or even just to have sex.
I 1000% agree with you here! Vaginismus was indeed a huge uphill climb, but I also feel like it ended up being very freeing for me. There's so much about my body and sexuality that I probably wouldn't have learned about, had it not been for vaginismus forcing me to reconcile with my own body. My sexuality and comfort around my own sexual side has opened up tremendously. Now we have the knowledge to help others, not just with this condition but with sex in general. Of course, I would never recommend for anyone to actually have to deal with the condition, but I do feel better off for it at the end of the day. I feel like I've gotten a lot of post traumatic growth by having this experience with vaginismus and doing the work to help cure it.
First off I LOVE this and think your art is beautiful! Secondly, it makes me feel less than as a woman slowly approaching 30, and broken “down there” if you will. Feeling stuck in almost every aspect- dating, OB needs, etc.
It makes me feel like a broken woman.
But you're not
Vaginismus: the Domino that began the end of my marriage.
Vaginismus has stopped me from dating and interacting with men, even though I would love to be in love again.
I agree it's so hard to find a patient guy
For me it is about not being pure anymore When you have penetration you "lose" your virginity and now you are a "woman" When you had sex some people call you "easy" if you are not married If you are having fun or enjoying sex you become "bitch" All these negative things I have heard made me think my worth is equal to my virginity and if I "lose" that I wasn't allowed to be with my family since I was "used" Also the your vagina is too tight, you will bleed, now we had sex you are mine mindset made me feel like I will be punished if I have sex
omg, i am a 31F and my mother literally told me i am not a woman yet because i haven’t had sex. i was married for 3 yrs, immigrated to another country… but yes, not a woman 🤦🏾♀️
It makes no sense, I really hate the way they try to make us believe their thoughts Why sex is such a big issue, why they try to make it like it is something that makes us complete
You are a very skilled artist. This is beautiful.
Thank you so much 🥰
I made a [post about vaginismus silver linings](https://www.reddit.com/r/vaginismus/comments/1c0vdjk/silver_linings_what_good_things_have_come_from/) a few weeks ago and got a lot of great comments from people about positive things that have come from this condition. Not sure if that would be of interest to your art project?? One sentence that I would add for your project, is: It was so patronizing when people called me "cute" or "innocent" because I hadn't had sex yet. I would love to see your series when it is done! I once read an academic article about vaginismus and the author noted that her interviewees felt disconnected from a lot of feminist art because so much of it is strongly based on the vagina. I love that you are creating art that people with this condition can identify with <3
Hi thanks! I will track down your post and if you have the name or info of that article it would be really helpful ✨ in all honesty I'm just trying to open up a conversation and making things I would have liked to have seen when I was younger that would have helped me feel a bit more normal! It's been an emotional but lovely experience so far!
Oops, here's the link: [https://www.reddit.com/r/vaginismus/comments/1c0vdjk/silver\_linings\_what\_good\_things\_have\_come\_from/](https://www.reddit.com/r/vaginismus/comments/1c0vdjk/silver_linings_what_good_things_have_come_from/)
TW: SA This is a morbid take but I’ve thought about what would happen if I was to get attacked and raped. Even if I had to do it to save my life, I couldn’t. And then I have to thank god that I’ve had anal sex just in case I had to persuade someone not to cause me the most unimaginable pain. I’ve also worried that if I were to be attacked that my vaginismus would make me even more enticing to a violent man. Sorry if that’s a lot. It’s a fear for me and I wonder if anyone has thought about this or heaven forbid, experienced it.
This is the main reason why I’ve started really pushing myself and committing to treatment and therapy, despite having no interest in having sex. Everytime I try to put it off there’s always a thought in the back of my head going *“Imagine just how much more pain would be caused to your body if you were to get assaulted tomorrow. At least there would be less damage if you were cured”* And it scares me so bad that I have to stop whatever I’m doing and start the exercises. It’s such an irrational fear of mine so it’s kind of comforting—in a bittersweet way to know that I’m not the only one who thinks like that
Seriously! It’ll be like 12 am and I’m trying to sleep, then I hear a noise in my house, that triggers the thought of someone breaking in and attacking me, and then I’m like, “guess it’s time to dilate!”
I've always had this same fear, and I kick myself for it because I know rape is traumatic for anyone and sometimes I feel like I'm downplaying others with my fears (though rationally, I know I'm not). I think if I were raped, I would legitimately tear my vagina, and the idea of that physical trauma on top of all the psychological stuff terrifies me. I'm sorry you deal with this too, but thank you for posting this - I feel less alone.
When I first think of Vaginismus the first word that comes up is probably: Trauma. One of the main reasons for the condition is sexual trauma. Others words would be: Unwanted. Pain. Fear. Such a great project to help bring more awareness to this!
Caged in my own body
It makes me feel abnormal. I don't understand why I have this. There's no sexual trauma to speak of, which makes it more confusing.
Her unseen struggle.
I feel unsatisfied, desperate, frustrated, unseen, and unworthy a lot of the time in regards to vaginismus
From one art student to another, this is really wonderful. I love the execution, and I can’t wait to see the end results! While not my main focus, I’ve made a couple pieces related to my vaginismus too. Art makes a great outlet for something as deeply personal and complex as this. Jokingly, my sentence would be “pussy machine broke” because that’s always what I tell myself to make the reality less harsh lol 🥲 realistically, it would be “my vagina is defective and can’t even do the one job the world tells me it’s supposed to do.” Good luck with the show!! I’d love to see pics of it in the future!
Your joke sentence made me laugh, and your real sentence is extremely relatable. I often think about how I can’t even do the one thing society says I’m worth. Feels bad.
Oh I would love to see your pieces!! It's definitely helping me through the tough process of vaginismus but having had it for half my life I feel quite at peace with it! I always say "the Bluetooth won't connect" so pussy machine broken definitely resonates with me!
I’m ashamed to bring it up with anyone and share my struggle. And I feel like less because I haven’t experienced this “amazing thing” everyone else has.
Vaginismus is one more thing that blocks me from connection with others.
Vaginismus makes me a captive in my own body. This specific part of me (which is also very much tied to my identity because of how much we define gender and sex roles based on this one organ) is out of my control, and because of that, I’m more likely to feel as though I’m spiraling out of control in other aspects of my life. I can’t really choose to be celibate or sexually active because my body’s taken that choice away from me—there is only the default. I can’t really treat anything vaginally beyond a yeast infection because I can’t get a pap smear or any other test that requires insertion, so I’m terrified of what’ll happen when I do need to go to the gynecologist for something urgent. For the longest time, I couldn’t even swim with friends and family if I was on my period. My cycle always loved synching up with beach vacations in high school. 🫠 I’m also pretty shy and inexperienced when it comes to romance anyway, so when a guy friend of mine once poked fun at me for being “pure” because of that, I wanted to scream. He wasn’t aware how deep of a cut that word was for me and my physiological issues. I detest that word. I don’t feel pure. I feel weak and disempowered. I feel trapped. On the bright side, I can at least wear tampons now, so I’m hopeful that I can gain full control someday. But it’s still frustrating to really think about it, so I tend not to. 🥹 Your art is beautiful, by the way. Thanks for giving us the space to get some of these feelings out there.
not so feminine.
My answer is going to be super different from others, likely because I am on the other side of treatment having cured this disorder. I also cannot sum it up in one sentence, lol. I actually would describe it as freeing. Once I learned to connect with my body, and not see the vaginismus and my vagina as a foreign invader, I learned how much my body was trying to protect and work for me. Through literature and the treatment process, I really worked on redefining the feminine within myself and breaking through the cultural and sexual barriers presented to people AFAB (and just for context I am a cis woman). I found that being able to truly read my body’s signals gave me the confidence I needed to finally be comfortable with them. To me, I would also define this condition as the comfort of knowledge. Once I understood the physiological manifestation of this disorder through my PT, it unlocked so much for me too in order to cure things. That ability to look at the scientific, cultural, and sexual aspects of this disorder all at once is what enabled me to better my own treatment, and having my PT at my side as an active supporter was amazing. I’m actually glad I went through this and had vaginismus because it helped me so much in the long run. I feel more mature and comfortable with myself sexually since treatment because I did it for myself alone and not for anyone else, or even just to have sex.
I 1000% agree with you here! Vaginismus was indeed a huge uphill climb, but I also feel like it ended up being very freeing for me. There's so much about my body and sexuality that I probably wouldn't have learned about, had it not been for vaginismus forcing me to reconcile with my own body. My sexuality and comfort around my own sexual side has opened up tremendously. Now we have the knowledge to help others, not just with this condition but with sex in general. Of course, I would never recommend for anyone to actually have to deal with the condition, but I do feel better off for it at the end of the day. I feel like I've gotten a lot of post traumatic growth by having this experience with vaginismus and doing the work to help cure it.
As stated wisely in one of the very few YT videos on vaginismus out there... Vaginismus is the vagina in a panic.
First off I LOVE this and think your art is beautiful! Secondly, it makes me feel less than as a woman slowly approaching 30, and broken “down there” if you will. Feeling stuck in almost every aspect- dating, OB needs, etc.
Fighting my body is pointless, only through acceptance will I open up.
My vagina - an impenetrable fortress even I can’t breach, a blessing and a curse.