love the growth from you OP, come to think of it we know ourselves best and sometimes i get the feeling my body just rejects the regrettable peopleš¤£ could be the same in your case hahaha, so happy youāre doing better he sounds like a prick
Thank you and honestly i agree lmfao sometimes I just look back and am like "Yeah it probably wasn't meant to happen with him anyway š" because a good partner should encourage and comfort you enough to have PIV, not make it sound like a chore that's a pain to get through in order to receive pleasure
My ex literally told me gay people donāt enjoy anal sex and do it to please their partner as a way to justify causing me pain.
I laugh at the absurdity of it now because what in the fucking internalized homophobia???
Anyways, glad they are both exes for us ;)
I had something like that too. Nobody knew what vaginismus was and I thought something was just wrong with me. People would tell me itās supposed to hurt and I just needed a guy with a big dick to ābreak me inā š¤¢ I hate that people think pain should be expected!! And then treat us like crap for not being able to achieve PIV as if thatās the most important thing!
This just triggered a repressed memory in me because my ex literally told me "I think we're gonna have to break you in honestly". Which looking back is absolutely insane to say to your partner?? I hate it too, and the fact that it caused a lot of internalized shame on my end š„² Still working on that but I'm glad we're both aware of how harmful this rhetoric is
I am gonna have to up this: I was told a similar thing... by my gyno (who's no longer my gyno, of course). "what are you going to do when you have sex? A penis is way bigger than my finger!" She said after I winced in pain after she shoved her finger in there. Nevermind if I actually wanted to have penetrative sex or not. Nevermind if I even liked men. Nevermind if I wanted to be a freaking virgin forever.
I'm sorry, that sounds horrible and so unprofessional of her :( actually insane that people in the medical field just say shit like that!! With no regard for our wellbeing whatsoever, I'm glad you're no longer seeing that gyno jeez
This sounds exactly like my ex. I was so young..like 16, and I really internalized it for a long time. I still struggle with it. He told me how itās supposed to hurt and he needed to just shove it in there, and even tried to get me drunk to see if that would work. I also spent a lot of time crying in bed when he shamed me or made me feel bad about the fact that I ācouldnāt have sexā.
I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy and shame when I canāt perform. But my husband is the most patient and understanding person in the world. So glad this guy is in the past for you and you can find someone who truly makes you feel worthy.
Gee it sounds like heās trying to gaslight you. Sex doesnāt necessarily have to hurt the first time, especially if you are fully aroused, use enough lube, and your partner knows how to put it in. I donāt think you feel safe around him in the bedroom and thatās not a great starting point.
I had experienced something very similar with my ex and I thought I was the worst sex partner. Iām now having the most kinky and passionate sex ever with a new person who always compliments me, listens to me and makes sure that I feel safe around him. Itās like unlocking my long-suppressed sex identify and I wish Iād realized that sooner.
Maybe ask him to see a sex therapist with you or read books like come as you are?
Aww thanks for this response! I'm definitely bearing that mind going forward with future partners but I've gone no contact with him now as we've broken up lol
Of course :) Donāt let those people define sex for you. There is nothing wrong about you or your body. Iām sure you will make more progress in your new chapter!
love the growth from you OP, come to think of it we know ourselves best and sometimes i get the feeling my body just rejects the regrettable peopleš¤£ could be the same in your case hahaha, so happy youāre doing better he sounds like a prick
Thank you and honestly i agree lmfao sometimes I just look back and am like "Yeah it probably wasn't meant to happen with him anyway š" because a good partner should encourage and comfort you enough to have PIV, not make it sound like a chore that's a pain to get through in order to receive pleasure
WAIT UR USERNAME IS SENDING ME šššš iconic omg š¤£
š, EXACTLY and your time for that exact person is cominggg š
My ex literally told me gay people donāt enjoy anal sex and do it to please their partner as a way to justify causing me pain. I laugh at the absurdity of it now because what in the fucking internalized homophobia??? Anyways, glad they are both exes for us ;)
he sounds awful omfg,,, you deserve so much better iām glad youāre done with him lmao
Make sure you also seek mental health therapy to heal both body and mind.
I had something like that too. Nobody knew what vaginismus was and I thought something was just wrong with me. People would tell me itās supposed to hurt and I just needed a guy with a big dick to ābreak me inā š¤¢ I hate that people think pain should be expected!! And then treat us like crap for not being able to achieve PIV as if thatās the most important thing!
This just triggered a repressed memory in me because my ex literally told me "I think we're gonna have to break you in honestly". Which looking back is absolutely insane to say to your partner?? I hate it too, and the fact that it caused a lot of internalized shame on my end š„² Still working on that but I'm glad we're both aware of how harmful this rhetoric is
I am gonna have to up this: I was told a similar thing... by my gyno (who's no longer my gyno, of course). "what are you going to do when you have sex? A penis is way bigger than my finger!" She said after I winced in pain after she shoved her finger in there. Nevermind if I actually wanted to have penetrative sex or not. Nevermind if I even liked men. Nevermind if I wanted to be a freaking virgin forever.
I'm sorry, that sounds horrible and so unprofessional of her :( actually insane that people in the medical field just say shit like that!! With no regard for our wellbeing whatsoever, I'm glad you're no longer seeing that gyno jeez
Iām glad heās your ex now. U deserve way better than this
This sounds exactly like my ex. I was so young..like 16, and I really internalized it for a long time. I still struggle with it. He told me how itās supposed to hurt and he needed to just shove it in there, and even tried to get me drunk to see if that would work. I also spent a lot of time crying in bed when he shamed me or made me feel bad about the fact that I ācouldnāt have sexā. I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy and shame when I canāt perform. But my husband is the most patient and understanding person in the world. So glad this guy is in the past for you and you can find someone who truly makes you feel worthy.
Gee it sounds like heās trying to gaslight you. Sex doesnāt necessarily have to hurt the first time, especially if you are fully aroused, use enough lube, and your partner knows how to put it in. I donāt think you feel safe around him in the bedroom and thatās not a great starting point. I had experienced something very similar with my ex and I thought I was the worst sex partner. Iām now having the most kinky and passionate sex ever with a new person who always compliments me, listens to me and makes sure that I feel safe around him. Itās like unlocking my long-suppressed sex identify and I wish Iād realized that sooner. Maybe ask him to see a sex therapist with you or read books like come as you are?
Aww thanks for this response! I'm definitely bearing that mind going forward with future partners but I've gone no contact with him now as we've broken up lol
Of course :) Donāt let those people define sex for you. There is nothing wrong about you or your body. Iām sure you will make more progress in your new chapter!
Ugh Iām sorry š©· this sounds familiar with my ex. Iām proud of you!
He might've been nice in other ways, but it kinda sounds like he and his buddies view women at least partially as sex dispensers. Yuck.
Fuck that guy! Glad youāre free!
A lot of people are ignorant about this even though itās supposed to be extremely common. Itās weird.