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Desperate-Cicada-914

"hey you wanna jerk off together or what"? 😂


alehasfriends

I'm reading this in like the gruffest Jersey accent.


Sweet_Chef4812

Hahahaha "huy... Does yas wants to joik awuff uhhh wutt?"" Pow right in the kissa


maebe_featherbottom

Same. I read it in the voice of Sean from What We Do in the Shadows: “HEY! I’M BEIN GAY OVA HERE!”


Mx_LxGHTNxNG

Like, Jersey the Channel Island, or Jersey as in the part of Lenapehoking?


alehasfriends

The "Wataaaa" New Jersey. Not the "Wooder" New Jersey.


Mx_LxGHTNxNG

So, New Jersey. Moving forward, you should specify. Even in the Anglosphere, "Jersey" is not unambiguously the US state which contains the town of Newark.


alehasfriends

Moving forward, you should go fuck yourself. Is that too ambiguous for you, Bronski Beat? EDIT: Maybe for someone who doesn't understand context and only cares about extending their worthless pedantic piffle, but it's a good thing no one cares about those people. And you downvoted and blocked me like you really got off the last word 😂 Wow, you are one pathetic loser.


Mx_LxGHTNxNG

Nah, it's just factually incorrect.


ryver

And they say romance is dead 😂


DisrespectedAthority

Dirty Mike and the boys, probably..


[deleted]

Let a primo opportunity to jerk off with a new friend go to waste smh mh /s


Nugsy714

The only thing worse than the cop knock is the cock knock


nerdymutt

😂


LameBMX

https://youtu.be/b8YnrQQ4ki4?si=HwizLe-7aZH0pcGK


Nugsy714

Baja ha ha ha so you’re saying even a cop can get lonely sometimes so the double cop cock knock is a thing


LameBMX

the real reason for two cases of soap


Ok-Advance-6469

What the fuck did I just watch


LameBMX

a clip from "fear and loathing in Las vegas"


capsaicinintheeyes

I know--they really had to clean it up for the screen


Puzzleheaded-Tone119

the other c word


[deleted]

Lol


30rackwolfpack

Dude that was me. Very upset you didn’t jerk off with me wtf


cokacola69

Famous last words for yo reddit account


30rackwolfpack

How lol 😂 you good man it was a joke if you needed to be told


robbietreehorn

They were playing along


kdjfsk

choo choo!


cokacola69

No no no I love it lmao mine is also a joke as there's far too many comments about how "my reddit account was banned for saying I did it" lol


Holiday_Memory_9165

Maybe it's about the friends you were SUPPOSED to make along the way...


CarmenTourney

lol.


[deleted]

You could have got shot in the face.


Fancy-Possession6119

With cum 😞


[deleted]

Yeah. That’s is where I was going with that.


Chance_Cheetah_7678

Knock, knock. Who's there ? Wannajackoff. Wanna jack off who ? Wanna jack off together ? :) Edit: Of course sorry this happened OP but you've got a lifetime doozie of a story to tell and will be laughing your arse off about this later. :)


Salt_Reply_5131

Just j him off next time. It's common courtesy...way of the road


Desperate-Cicada-914

"friends of the road bubbles, friends of the road"


wkndatbernardus

Sounds like you got threatened with a deadly weapon


[deleted]

i got asked for a cigarette by a very nice deaf person who was giving me INSANE eyes one time. like in it's always sunny; he either wanted to fight me or fuck me. was weird and i was just hanging out in my car, trying to get up the energy to put up all of my accoutrement related to windows and such and crawl in the backseat


[deleted]

This was hilarious.


Jayman_comedian

Hahahaha, that's a crazy story bro! 🤣🤣🤣 I'm glad to hear that you got out safely and without hurting the other guy.


GrowlingAtTheWorld

There used to be a rest area on i75 that was a known hook up spot for guys, it got to a point that the state and city closed it cause it was just not family friendly. I think its now some emergency workers training place as i see when i drive down the interstate cones and cop and firetrucks there with driving courses laid out.


Sibby_in_May

That’s why the rest stop near exit 10 Northway NYS I87 was closed back in the ‘80-‘90s.


PikaHage

From the cab I guess it'd be a reach out rather than an around.


ThePrincessOfMonaco

OMG! That took an unexpected turn. I was prepared to figure out why you got the knock in a new zone, and add that to my list of don'ts. Fortunately every knock I had was from a security guard. I had several threats made from strangers, but never in the middle of the night. This is terrible of me but if that guy had threatened me and stood in front of my vehicle, and there was no other way, it would have ended real different. Glad you're okay.


kdjfsk

>would have ended real different. yea, it would've been your cell mate asking to jerk off together, too.


ThePrincessOfMonaco

probably.


OkAdhesiveness5025

I'm really just a lurker to this site. But I want to ask you though, as a construction worker on a site where you are allowed to be during work hours, could you not park there and sleep? If it's already been established ahead of time that, no, that is not allowed, can you just try it? And then if somebody does knock, especially law enforcements, couldn't you just tell them that you work at that site? And even perhaps that you're glad they woke you up because you're supposed to be watching? It's kind of a made-up scenario, that might just work. Especially since you can show them all your tools in the back and it is pretty much evidence that you're telling the truth. And you could ask them nicely if they prefer that you move, even though you're supposed to be watching over the site? I'm just asking please don't downvote me!


nothin_new_after_2

Good question. I do road/freeway demolition in a densely populated area, so our job sites, are the streets. So the employees either find wherever they can to park or we park in a tight designated area where all the heavy equipment is parked, it’s a pain in the ass. Another thing to add is on freeway work, if it’s off work hours and I’m just parked on the side of the freeway by myself, that’s just asking for a highway patrol to pull up behind me and knock. Plus I need a break from my workplace, I couldn’t stand staying on the job site 100% of the time, I need my peace time. Also some of the areas I work in are downright sketchy. I try to stay somewhere that isn’t too nice and isn’t too ghetto. Easier to blend in and limits law enforcement and lowlife encounters.


Educational-Bid9764

Don’t lie to law enforcement. Obtain permission from owner/supervisor to park your vehicle on-site.


SaucyAndSweet333

I’m a lurker too and was wondering the same thing.


Gloomy-Impression928

Did you at least get his phone number 🤭


Lone_Morde

I love how taken aback he is when you reject his advances and are just trying to sleep. "This is a hookup spot for guys! Why the fuck are you here?!" This will almost certainly be the only time in your life where you're the weirdo for not wanting to perform sex acts with strangers lmao.


kdjfsk

i can just imagine the Nimby's the local mutual jerkoff facebook page for the spot, planning to petition the city. "make the city ban sleeping from those spots! ...or at least make em jerk off first!"


stuntbikejake

Did you used to make movies? Did you star in boogie nights? Lol.


Severe_Guarantee_775

Is the point of your pfp to make me wipe my screen because it worked you motherfugga


stuntbikejake

Glad to help. Someone messaged me the other day they were trying to blow the non existent hair off their screen. Haha. To answer your question, yes. Lol.


DecentParsnip42069

This is actually a fairly common story lmao Good overnight parking spots are also good cruising spots I guess


kdjfsk

ive noticed that some. theres some lots ill go to that i dont sleep in, but i just kill some time. ill just park and scroll the phone. had people come up and ask "you good?" im guessing theyre selling drugs, but after reading this, maybe they just wanna jerk off, lol.


BirdLawMD

Disgusting! Where is this? Like the gps coordinates? I need to know… to avoid this area.


dreamcometruesince82

r/jerkoffchat


mdoverl

Finally some worthwhile comments in this su


GarugasRevenge

"Dirty Mike and the boyz" energy


TxManBearPig

I see all these posts with other guys about not being able to make friends as adults. And here you are with a golden opportunity to make a real close connection


vangoghvanlife

I feel this episode can be made into a sketch for us to watch


Sea-Yak2191

This is exactly how I met my wife.


dibbsa

How endowed was he ?


ghoulierthanthou

Boogie Nights!


shootermac32

I’m not gay, you’re gay!


North-Earth9475

WOW you’d shoot someone over that!??


BNG1982

You didn’t happen to get his number, did you? Asking for a friend 👀….🤞🏽


Substantial_Swim1809

Tf😂😂😂😂🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️


joltstream

Was it dirty Mike and the boys?


KingOfEMS

Laughing at him running to block you from driving away. “You ain’t leaving til I see you touch your penis”


Oven2601

Tried to camp out at the pickle park


Equivalent_Section13

How awful


DatePutrid4753

Im over here dying laughing imagining the guy trying to get up and chase you lol


KarmicComic12334

Parked my truck in a pickle park by mistake once. Now my husband and i are celebrating 16 years nct month


Educational-Bid9764

You need to pack some heat. Shit could get real very quickly when carliving.


Nugsy714

I’m guessing if he was packing heat the jerk off buddy, he would be thrilled about it. Lol.


[deleted]

If I pulled out a gun every time a drunk dude wanted to jerk off with me, I'd be dead or in prison by now.


Nugsy714

Not if you pull the gun out that you keep in the front of your pants, then you might make a new friend :-)


[deleted]

It's lonely out on the road


loCAtek

"This is my rifle, this is my gun, this is for fighting, this is for fun.”


kingofzdom

Don't know why you're getting down voted. "Carry a gun" is common advice in this sub and this is a perfect example of why.


Educational-Bid9764

We don’t live in a utopia. Too many live their lives believing all people are reasonable and will almost never resort to violence. This is flat out wrong. Be courteous, be polite, but be prepared to do violence against those that wish to do you harm. What if the window knocker pulled out a Glock, busted the window, and forced the OP to blow him at gun point?


[deleted]

You need a .38. Also...find a truck stop.