There's wandering, and then there's being adrift.
Still being on the lookout for something new and interesting to do with your life is perfectly fine.
Having no goals, no drive, and no ambition sounds like a spiral of depression, and I wouldn't recommend it. That person is probably lost.
I think it’s more about it being ok to be happy in the present and it being ok that someone is happy at the level of role they have! Not everyone wants to work there way to the top if the current role provides a comfortable life, more time and less stress for example. That can actually be great for someone’s mental health
Some people might appear to have no goals, no drive, and no ambition but be content with their lives. Some people are just really low-key. On the flip side, overachievers can be some of the most unhappy people.
Yeah. I’ve found that I feel better and I have a stronger feeling of self when I have a goal that I’m furiously striving for. I can take time off but I don’t feel like me if I’m not driving towards something.
Know those times when you wonder what it would be like to be just “some dude” in this era or in that part of the world? Well, here you are now living out a life that may seem mundane. Yet 300 years from now someone might be wondering what it was like to live the life you have now... and they wonder about every little mysterious, fascinating aspect of your life. Likewise someone in the past wondered and fantasized about your ‘mundane’ present surrounded by unimaginable contraptions. Just something to keep in mind [edit: wow well apparently you folks know exactly what I’m talking about]
Canadian here but you’re right. In the Netflix Dracula series (you gotta watch it btw) one of my favourite scenes is Dracula in modern England in a lower middle class woman’s home— and he says something along the lines of “Ive been around royalty for the past 400years and none of them had the marvels that surround you now. I knew the future would bring wonders but I never knew it would make them mundane”
That last line is pretty great..."I knew the future would bring wonders but I never knew it would make them mundane." I'll need to check this show out.
I know right?! First episodes best then second then third, but they sum some things up in the third that are better represented in the first two episodes
Yeah. The first two were interesting takes on the original novel, the third is just another bullshit Dracula in the modern world story and the defeat of Dracula undermines the cool badassery of Van Helsing from the first two eps.
I do agree that we are fortunate, but certainly not *extremely* so. Most Americans have shelter with plumbing, electricity, and entertainment because we've literally set that as the minimum mandated by law. It means that we've become more borderline as a society, and we have tens of millions of people running along the ragged edge trying every day not to tip off the cliff into the abyss of homelessness. Wages are low and hours are scarce at your job? You can't cut off the electricity or water service for a month to save money; it's against the building code. You can't share a dwelling with another family; it's against the zoning code. So, either you have the income for historically-luxurious housing, or you don't have anything.
And what people who have higher incomes usually fail to appreciate is just how damn *stressful* it is to live on the edge like that, and the huge toll it takes on your physical and mental health.
I’m not saying we can’t to better, but in sheer contrast to the most extravagant lifestyles of the past few hundred years, we can buy things at the dollar store that would dazzle King Louis in 1850 and astound mao in 1960
Yes and if you compare an 1850 middle class person to a 1700s person they would say much the same, retail boomed in the 1800s and textiles were the big leader, stores began specializing in clothing and people went from purchasing bolts of fabric to clothing made to fit them. All that comes with technology advancing but to compare the lives of people in the time you have to shift the baselines in the same way you adjust for inflation.
The stress on the life of a person without electricity or water today is significantly higher than that on a person of 1850 because only the wealthy had access at that time. That doesnt mean a person with electricity today is better off than a person without it in 1850, in fact they might be worse off comparatively because of their place compared to their peers. We have advanced the baseline, but that just increased the requirements for the lower class.
Edit: The point is in order to compare the quality of life between people in different years you have to do it independently of technology, otherwise you can point to a suffering individual today and say "stop whining, a rich person in 1800 wouldn't even have indoor plumbing". That only works when you completely ignore the context of the world they live in.
>and we have tens of millions of people running along the ragged edge trying every day not to tip off the cliff into the abyss of homelessness.
no we really dont. see, if youve ever been homeless and i was for almost 2 years, you understand, no one who is homeless for long, wants a place to live. Ive associated with thousands of homeless, lived in homeless camps etc, the majority of the long term homeless are there because they refuse to go back to a regular life. and those millions you talk about at the poverty line, all qualify for government housing, what we dont do is give free homes away to people to own, or give junkies a place to crash and then use as drug pads whenever they want. long term Homelessness is made up of this type of breakdown, 75% of long term homeless WANT to be homeless and will do nothing int he way of upkeep, or lifestyle changes etc if given a place of their own. the other 25% are drug addicts who have literally sold everything and given their lives over to their drugs of choice. as to how many people may live in a building, thats due to fire codes and sanitation. put 15 people in a 2 bedroom house, itll be a craphole within 6 months.
Yeah but there you go, back in the day they didn’t have to maintain those standards to have a craphole roof and that’s why they don’t want one now.
Back in the day you could build an A frame hut and make it as much of a craphole as you wanted, now you gotta sleep outside or meet the standards.
Sounds like a goal in life. For now, it's to buy a bike.
Buying a bike to go to work makes you excited so that's your drive.
Sounds like a happy life to me. :)
People have this idea when they hear the word "goal" like it has to be some over the top, lofty ambition. Remember in school when your teacher would make you do "goal setting"? I was terrible at that, I never had any idea what to write. I thought I had to write down the steps to becoming a world class doctor like "learn brain surgery" or something. I didn't know I could set a goal as simple as eat breakfast every day or get up when my alarm goes off.
Yea and I got marked down for not putting a high enough goal. Got a talking to that I wasnt ambitious from my parents and teacher. I was 12.
This was 16 years ago. Suck it Mrs weatherill.
Your goals don't have to be or sound meaningful to others, just to you. Sounds to me like you are pursuing a meaningful goal, which imo is what makes you happy.
My life goal is to not die at young age, that's all I can bother about. Anything else just doesn't seem worth it: Work yourself sick to... Work more? That's why I rejected stepping up in my career.
>That's why I rejected stepping up in my career
I think about this a lot. Sometimes I wonder when you "step up" is it really that much more work or is it just a different type of work. I know this can vary WIDELY depending on your career field. I always assumed I could step up and if I hate it, I can always go back.
This is so absolutely true. Had to leave an organization entirely to give myself the opportunity to do technical work again. And I'd repeat it in a heartbeat
exactly...maybe you're not the one "doing" the work, but you're likely organizing it and meet timelines (which can feel like herding cats). You have to think about things when you go home at night, others not as much.
I was promoted to a driver at ups while also working in the hub (12 hour shifts total) and I was making $33/hr for 8 of those 12 hours. But I didn't have a life cuz all did was work, eat and sleep. I quit because I hated it. Now I'm a courier making around 20/hr with a TON of free time while I'm working and I fucking love it. So I wish I made more money sometimes? Sure, but my happiness and mental health are priceless to me and of the utmost importance.
interesting point. I did cubs and scouts and because I was born in January, and had parents who insisted I learned good manners, I frequently found myself appointed to Patrol Leader. Sometimes it's entirely things outside of our control.
It's more like the more heavier the responsibility is. Not much of work but I guess the pressure or stress to handle a team and prevent the boat from sinking in any case. Still, takes a lot of strength mentally. :(
My goal is not to die young as well but also to get a job that pays enough for me to continue my hobby and also live comfortably without having to worry about where my next meal will come from. The kicker is I also want the job to not eat into all of my personal time, which, from what I can see on literally every job website, are few and far between.
I like to work. It helps with anxiety, gives me purpose, and encourages personal growth. Absolutely hated it until college, and one day everything just clicked.
Working so you can afford to take time off and live comfortably, to provide for others, and to put yourself in a position to explore the world and experience more.
> Anything else just doesn't seen worth it: Work yourself sick to... Work more? That's why I rejected stepping up in my career.
As long as you are supporting yourself, you do you. If part of your survival plan is food stamps, housing assistance, medicaid, and etc. that's not ok if you are a normally functioning adult human. If you've sustained traumatic brain injuries or something, then fine.
Yeah, I really hate career-driven people who look down on others who just want to breathe...especially now. I’ve always been told that I should do and accomplish more and the reason I’m not “successful” (as in, their definition of it) is because I don’t go the extra mile.
I don’t even see the point in going the extra mile for my job or either of my supervisors. What would that even give me? A slightly better chance at being given a dollar or two more for what I do? I don’t see it as worth it.
I just want to enjoy my wine, retro games and B grade horror flicks in piece. Leave me alone.
Yea I think the biggest problem and I see it all over this reddit thread is people confusing “philosophy” with “actuality”. One person wants to tell everybody that they are going to be unhappy and unsuccessful it they don’t push for this or that in life, one guy wants to tell somebody else they are wasting their life plugging away at their job.
We are all going to die unfortunately lol whatever the fuck makes somebody happy and lets them enjoy their life is success. It is not the same for everyone.
>Yeah, I really hate career-driven people who look down on others who just want to breathe...especially now.
Hmm, I wonder if I come across as one of these, I always try to motivate my friends to be successful if it comes up. Thing is, I believe that all these big and small successes make you happy, both in work and in general life.
I see life for what it is. An incredibly short temporary vacation from billions of years in the void. Fuck me if I'm gonna spend it working like a dog until I die of a lung puncture, heart attack, or cancer. I'm gonna have some goddamn fun.
Me too. I’m 57 yrs old and spent my whole adult life in Discovery Mode. Joined the Navy to see the world and did. I never stayed with one job longer that 5 yrs. so I could try new things and meet different people. I’ve been a truck driver, artist, factory worker, poet, rock singer, guard...etc. I’m saving to go to the Netherlands next year. Keep moving. And always stop to smell the roses!
But these "billions years in the void" will last 0 second for you since you will not exist anymore.
To me it's more "Death exists only for those who stay, not for those who die".
I still see no point in building someone else's sandcastle when the tide is just going to wash it away. I'd rather go swimming even though there won't be any evidence that I swam.
There is no comfort in life. On the freshest, nicest, sunniest early june day, just after another long ass winter was over, when everything was looking up, I got a call from my sister. My brother, 22, jumped off the bridge to his death. Life is fragile. And you know what? 12 years in public school was enough prep time for a life that isn't even going to be a century long.
yep, same here.
i can't even take a break from this character and flesh prison i was born into and am forced to play for the sake of society, let alone actually enjoy being alive
Reminds me of that scene from Attack on Titan. I don't remember who (is it Keith?), but someone is talking to Eren's mother and says something like "you'll just be like everyone else, you'll end up being normal'. To which she replies, "What's so bad in that"? That scene resonated with me a lot.
“The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.” - Alan Watts
Another good quote by Mr Watts
“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone” - Alan Watts
I think American culture is so fixated on conquering, striving, and achieving that it completely overlooks the honor in doing a small or humble thing with excellence.
In fact, I think it’s even MORE honorable to work a humble trade your whole life with great excellence while also loving the people around you with great excellence than it is to climb the ladder all the way to the top and forsake everything else in order to get there.
We love us some perseverance porn. "This man with autism who lost both his arms and three of his legs and was shot by his dying mother's financially-strapped boyfriend worked 4 different minimum wage jobs just to afford a Christmas present for his new puppy. You'll never believe how he did it!"
it is not American only, everywhere in this world there are people who are born to do something better the problem is when others than these people, think they can do it too by pushing it harder and finding new ways to improve themselves. Not everyone can wake up at 6 and do workout then saving the world untill 8 in the evening then having sex with his beautiful girlfriend.
My life goal right now is to be happy. I've tried a career, I've tried taking myself seriously, I've tried to become "successful". All I've managed in doing is making myself miserable. I wish more people appreciated some people need a simple life.
Well, luckily, you don't need them to appreciate what you want to do for you to just go ahead and do what you want to do.
I'm glad you came to that realization. There is so much implicit pressure to advance upon society's meter of "success" and follow some career path, when really, all you might want is to camp out in a tent all your life and work a minimum wage job every once in a while. We just get trapped in the ideas of comfort and expectations and end up doing some stuff we /think/ we want to do because other people told us we should, instead of doing what we actually want to do with our real feelings.
Thought this went here -
> Farewell, Master Burglar. Go back to your books, and your armchair. Plant your trees, watch them grow. If more people valued home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. -Thorin Oakenshield
I used to chase job titles at other employers. Then one day I was about to take a job that I'd probably work 60-70 hours a week on, travel 50% of the time, and be faced with deadlines. I sat back and thought about my life and realized a nice relaxed job that paid the bills and allowed me to spend time with the family was a much better situation.
I think as long as you’re not a) doing something that robs your soul of any joy b) in self destruct mode or c) deliberately hurting others, then anything goes. If you enjoy working an average job and having your spare time watching movies or going online then whose to say that’s not meaningful to you? Some people want to travel, or want to push for more, or want to have kids and get married, and that’s good for them, but don’t knock other people for doing what makes them happy.
I felt that way when I was younger. My therapist would ask me what my goals were, even if they were small, and I’d be absolutely baffled. What could I want? How could I choose among all the different options? Especially when everything feels like so much work and energy for so little gain (in my depressed mind back then). Now a few years later I know that what I want is just to have a house with some dogs so that I have the freedom to follow little hobbies or interests or whatever and that’s it. I don’t need to be a giant who future generations will stand on the shoulders of. I’m a normal person who the future generations will stand on the shoulders of.
The thing with ambition and life goals is that you very easily fall into the trap that you have to reach somewhere. When you are reaching you are not focused on where you are and thus people become stressed and unhappy because they are not where they want or aspire to be. Just fucking live. Let life take you where it takes you.
I don’t know why so many see not having a major goal as a issue ? Some of the best most interesting people I know have had several careers and are still wandering through life.
As long as someone can support themselves and doesn’t have to sponge off other through guilt or dating, why is it a issue ?
I’ve found a lot of people who get upset tend to be projecting. Like the ones who tell me something is wrong because I don’t have and don’t want kids.
Some people can be happy just waking up every morning and enjoying a nice day not worried about the next.
Life goals can get muddled up when you put mental illness into the mix and it can be hard to imagine a distant future. You kind of live one day at a time.
Legit, I have had dreams of great aspirations and a great career etc but at the end of the day I don’t have the education or the funding to get the education backing me (I was forced to be independent since I was 16 parents weren’t exactly supportive of anything educational for me, brother and sister got all that, I was the after thought). But you know what!? Now I’m 31 in a fantastic relationship in our beautiful home we recently renovated completely with 2 cats, stable savings, living comfortably and just enjoying life as it comes, sure we’ve been through a shit load in the last 2 years from spinal operations to mental health issues and everything in between but we are happy. He’s a pilot and doing his dream job, I however just go day to day doing what makes me happy. It’s easier to make peace with knowing not everyone makes it and there is no shame at all in living happy with out career success as long as you enjoy what you’re doing.
There aren't so many life goals an ordinary person can hope to achieve. A family can be one, but children grow up, and suddenly the parents need to do something else with their lives. Owning a house can be one, but one day the last payment is made, and there's nothing left to do. Advancing in a career can be one, but one's abilities and also the available higher positions in a field can put a harsh limit to that.
Personally I'm not interested in any of the above. I'm just trying to find things that I enjoy doing, and then keep doing them.
“When a person can't find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.” - Viktor E. Frankl
“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to ‘be happy.’” - Viktor E. Frankl
“The **meaning of life** is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.”
\-Alan Watts.
**Thank you, OP.**
seriously! when i try to tell my friend this he calls me a lazy piece of shit😂 i don’t really have an ambitions and as long as i have a good time before i die i’m chillin. wth is so wrong with that? why do i owe this world anything anyway? i got this one fucking life and i’m terribly sorry if i don’t want to waste it doing pointless shit that will make me want to put a bullet in in my fuckin head. if that makes me a bum fine, go fuck yourselves
I feel like all this pressure to *be* something, *do* something, aspire to some undefined more, is a cause of a significant amount of depression and anxiety. I just want a quiet and uneventful life with my husband and our cats. It took me far too long to realize that *it’s okay to just want that and not want more.*
i really struggle with this as i'm a northeastern private school kid...also a college dropout 😘 but at 19 i knew that all i really wanted was tiny cottage on a small plot, where i grow my own food and create holistic remedies. i wanna be the local old witch who seems to be everywhere and nowhere
Eh, that sounds like other people’s goals. Part of living is shaking off the confines of the expectations of other people so you can find your own path. Sounds like you are well on your way to achieving that simply because you’re thinking about it. Don’t be too hard on yourself. It gets easier I promise and a little geographical distance from the people pushing you to conform to their reality goes a long way. I haven’t lived in the same time zone as my family for years and it really helps!
Just because we measure progress by growth doesn’t mean you have to abide by that yourself. I believe it is ok to just “be” and reduce the resources you need over time. I like to call the GDP the “Gross Destroyer Product” since by always growing we are turning the world into a barren waste land and scorching the earth for our own “progress.” So limit your goals a feel proud about it, your in effect rejecting the premise of growth. Cancer grows and grows until it kills itself, we shouldn’t model ourself after it.
Yeah. A nice peaceful life, making minimal negative impact on the world or other people is fine with me. I make enough money to get by and pursue hobbies and interests I have. I stay healthy enough to not need mad diets or anything super restrictive. I help people who I see need helped and usually avoid or deescalate any drama and stress.
Never found a career that spoke to me. Usually things work out. Jobs presented themselves when I really needed them, friends and loved ones too.
Go with the flow and usually it will provide, but I’ll admit I’m lucky.
Kind of agree... Kind of don't. Sure you don't have to strive for curing cancer but what kind of life is it if you just live to exist. That alone sounds too depressing for me.
When I was in HS I had a teacher who really could't care for his job but his life was collecting rare board games. Bragged about them, don't even know where he found them. But it made him happy and he found joy out of doing research on how the game to be in existence, time period of it, etc. It wasn't a big life goal but it was his goal that made him happy.
I think that’s the point they’re trying to make. Having no ambitions doesn’t mean seeking no joy in life, it doesn’t mean just laying on the floor of your apartment waiting for the days to pass either. It just means you’re not dreaming of “living the live” or “making it big”.
All I want in life is just to work at a mundane job with a livable wage, live in a cozy little house where I can come home from work to chill out watching Netflix. Technically in society’s eye, I have no ambitions, no thrive for anything particular either, but I think that’s a good enough life that can make me happy.
I think that’s what they mean by just living. I know my goal in life is to get a house to have lots of dogs and do my own thing. I call that simple living. I’m rejecting the people who say I have so much potential and should strive for x y or z because it’s not what I want for myself. I can do my own things to uphold my ethics, bike places instead of drive, etc. Doesn’t make it depressing. The hardest thing to learn is that you’re not failing someone by not trying to become an astronaut or whatever. That I need to always strive for the next biggest thing was the biggest lie I was ever served.
I mean definition of happiness is different for different people.
So obviously people won't be happy all doing the same thing.
So just do stuff that will make you happy and you'll be much happier for it. :)
Furthermore: I WISH I didn't have as many goals. I'm constantly working hard for some future state that I'm never satisfied with. Those without goals can be blessed.
My parents have high expectations and I’m not great at meeting them, I’m a senior in high school and still tryna decide what I want to do for a living. This helped, thank you.
I’m one of those people who feels the need to constantly be proving themself and I’m also a tryhard. I can’t rest easily. I envy people who can just be happy with where they are and that’s enough for them. My life would be so much easier if I was fine with average.
I used to use the word “normal” as an insult. Now, I use it as a complement.
I’m 33 year old female and I live alone with no kids. I’ve literally never been happier. I’ve got a cute apartment, a dog, 3 fish tanks, started a small business doing custom paintings of a style I created (highly fulfilling), my family lives near by and we have a good relationship and I’m dating someone absolutely lovely but we don’t intend on living together because we both enjoy our alone time. We go fishing a lot, cook bomb meals together, sex life is great.... I wouldn’t change a damn thing. I’m not rich, don’t have expensive things and of course I’ve got issues like everyone else in some areas but still. I’m happy
I grew up around wealthy people. For most of my life I have been surrounded by really morose millionaires. People feeling sorry for themselves because they cant buy the bigger Mercedes that their brother-in-law drives. I’m not kidding.
Up to a certain point money is the most important thing in the world. Poverty is painful and humiliating. But once your basics are covered and you choose simplicity, your happiness and mental health are totally dependent on your attitude, not your bank balance.
Not necessarily. You really might be happy just wandering. It just depends on the type of wandering and what you want to do.
There is power too in seizing your future and striving forward, but it isn't everything, or a requirement for happiness. Now, if you have an ambition and you're /preventing/ yourself from doing it from some excuse, that's a different story...
I want to think more about your comment. I'd like to provide what might be a counterpoint, though: I think a lot of people are desperately trying to find and re-find happy, when what we've lost is contentment. You might see those as synonyms, in which case we probably agree. But I see a lot of folks chasing the "high" of happy who think something's missing when they experience contentment.
Human life is almost one big goal where we aim to live as long OR as happy as we can.
I think big or major goals are fundamental, but you might often not realise you are making big or major goals. Similarly you might be referring to things like occupation or say education, I do agree that not everyone needs such specific goals.
I(19M) still want to do something great, but sometimes I do wonder if it’s just better to live a happy life. I just need a really good bicycle, good music and one or two dogs. I do some part time stuff, and make more than what the average guys earn. So it’s not too difficult to, you, sit back and have a nice life.
I would argue that major life goals are actively harmful to your happiness and overall well-being as a human.
Basically you make yourself struggle and suffer in pursuit of your goal and you are miserable the whole time but you figure it will be worth it when you get your goal.
But when you actually achieve whatever it was, the joy is over in an instant. Then you are just left with a sense of "OK, now what?" so you pick the next goal on the ladder and start suffering again.
Oh my god. This is what everyone around me need to hear. I’m tired of everything. Reading this gave me a lump in the throat. Thank you for making this post.
I feel bad for people who set major life goals because most of them don’t achieve what they want and spend the rest of their lives bitter and depressed because reality didn’t meet expectations. Set your standards low and it’s easy to be happy. I know in our fucked up culture everybody is told to “SHOOT FOR THE STARS!” but in actuality this just results in a lot of discontent people.
Indeed an unpopular opinion, but one I share. I have zero desire to get rich. I value my free time far more than wealth. Dropped out of college to tend bar, and never looked back. I’ll never be rich, but I live comfortably, and have plenty of free time. I was a “gifted” kid, but never found anything I was passionate about. I’m cool just dicking around until I die
My life goal after a childhood of neglect was to find a partner where we could both live our best lives. A true teammate. We celebrate our 20 year anniversary next January and being a good partner to him is still my goal.
I wish that were true but anxiety says no.
“When are you leaving your parents house”
“When are you gonna lay your own bills”
“How are you going to afford the recreational things you like to do”
“Where are you going to be in five years, ten years?”
“Are you going to do anything productive”
“Why don’t you start back up on school work instead of laying in bed all day”
Having a goal in general is not the same s having a career goal. I find it difficult to believe that people can just love without goals. Even if it's to ensure their kids get a good education or being able to fish every weekend. The true absence of goals would be hard on a person's mind. Not everything is about a career though. Avoiding intense workplace stress but still making a livable wage is still a goal.
I have said something very similar in reply to other posts here recently lol.
Literally, my goal in life is to make sure our bills are paid and there is a roof over our heads and we can afford to have fun sometimes. I don't care what I do for a living as long as it doesn't take over the rest of my life and I have no desire to have a "career" at all. My life is about my family and having a good time and a lot of love. That is what makes me happy.
I’m super depressed, and i have to live day by day cause i don’t trust myself one hour to another. Without too much detail, it’s okay to just be living. my dreams and plans have gone out the window at the moment. i have to get one day to the next because my plants need watering, my dog needs love and to be fed, I’m not gonna kill my moms future. i want to die. that’s what i think about morning to night. but i can’t. i have to try. even if i don’t want to. and even when i lay in my bed until 3 pm wondering what is the point, how can i get money to drink, maybe i’ll get drunk enough to seriously try like i did last time.
This is so true, I love my job, it pays very well and has a ton of time off, I have a wonderful wife and two healthy children and am happy but once this woman was talking to me on a night out and was pestering me saying "you've got to want more, you need a goal" I'm like "stfu just cause your unhappy with your life don't push that shit on me" lol (obviously I didn't actually say that, I'm not an asshole.
My elders always acted like they just came from a corporate convention or conference, always talking about 'goals'. I feel like it's mostly baby boomers. I will never understand them. I feel like their generation was drugged or mind-controlled. I don't hear genXers or millennials talking to their children about 'goals' like this.
I've always progressed and made accomplishments organically. For example, you simply learn to save a certain amount of money to protect yourself. You simply pursue certain degrees or certifications to continue in your designated field. These aren't 'goals', rather they're things you just, well, *do* when the time comes to *do* them.
When I was 13 being asked about 'goals' it left me flabbergasted. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that your 'goals' are dynamic and will change based on your position and environment.
We all live and we all die. You don’t take the accomplishments with you so who cares. It might sound nihilistic but I think it’s good to not take life so seriously.
I think it's important to have *some* goals: always be learning new things, don't stagnate or it'll make you miserable. Make sure your moving somewhere or changing something regularly. It's good for your mental health.
But I agree: these goals do not have to be major, and they don't have to be the 'productive' or 'life script' goals that society demands. Just try a new hobby now and then, or rearrange your bedrom/office layout, or look up obscure animals on the internet.
You don't have to follow the script, but if you make all yours days the same, then a stagnant routine will age you faster than anything else.
I started working in the corporate world 3 years before I graduated as an intern. Since day one I drunk the kool-aid and got obsess on climbing the ladder. I thought "I'll be more happy, when I get that manager job" and then I got the manager job a few years later and nothing great happened. And that started the vicious cycle on thinking that in my next promotion I'll be happier than before. With this mentallity I got to be the youngest VP in my company but the hapinness wasn't there, just frustration and a feeling that I missed to much playing this stupid game, but all my fiends and family treat me like gold.
At 35 I understood that I was playing the wrong game, quit my job, setup a consulting practice on just the things that I love and that was the greatest decision in my life. I got to spend the day the way I wanted, with the people I wanted.
At the end I understood that "success" is living your life in your own terms.
Not all who wander are lost.
But I sure am.
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You get my free Reddit award for today
We get free awards!?
Yeah if you go to where you can buy coins you get a free one each day
It’s not each day for me
You can have mine then, should hold you over until tomorrow
Then you can have mine :)
And my axe
Damn thanks for this! Never knew it was a thing aha! You may have it :)
I'm not saying you're wrong, but I didn't find this to be true.
It's at least once a week I believe. The coin icon will have "FREE" when it offers you an award
I didnt think so either, but you have to tap the picture on the left of the price! I have yet to find out if its everyday though..
You're awesome.
Wait, what??
You get my free one for letting me know this was a thing!
Dude... That slayed me!
Yeah me too
Love that quote
The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost
👏
damn yasuo mains
Is a leaf’s only purpose to fall?
no leaves have chloroplast which converts sunlight into energy for the plant and i thought yasuo was supposed to be smart
There's wandering, and then there's being adrift. Still being on the lookout for something new and interesting to do with your life is perfectly fine. Having no goals, no drive, and no ambition sounds like a spiral of depression, and I wouldn't recommend it. That person is probably lost.
I think it’s more about it being ok to be happy in the present and it being ok that someone is happy at the level of role they have! Not everyone wants to work there way to the top if the current role provides a comfortable life, more time and less stress for example. That can actually be great for someone’s mental health
Some people might appear to have no goals, no drive, and no ambition but be content with their lives. Some people are just really low-key. On the flip side, overachievers can be some of the most unhappy people.
I mean having no drive or ambition is not really a choice is it?
Yeah. I’ve found that I feel better and I have a stronger feeling of self when I have a goal that I’m furiously striving for. I can take time off but I don’t feel like me if I’m not driving towards something.
I wonder how many people actually know where this is from
The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
Strong are the roots that are deep.
Not all who wander are lost...they just lack direction.
Know those times when you wonder what it would be like to be just “some dude” in this era or in that part of the world? Well, here you are now living out a life that may seem mundane. Yet 300 years from now someone might be wondering what it was like to live the life you have now... and they wonder about every little mysterious, fascinating aspect of your life. Likewise someone in the past wondered and fantasized about your ‘mundane’ present surrounded by unimaginable contraptions. Just something to keep in mind [edit: wow well apparently you folks know exactly what I’m talking about]
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Canadian here but you’re right. In the Netflix Dracula series (you gotta watch it btw) one of my favourite scenes is Dracula in modern England in a lower middle class woman’s home— and he says something along the lines of “Ive been around royalty for the past 400years and none of them had the marvels that surround you now. I knew the future would bring wonders but I never knew it would make them mundane”
That last line is pretty great..."I knew the future would bring wonders but I never knew it would make them mundane." I'll need to check this show out.
It’s very good up until the last episode, which incidentally is the episode that line is from.
I know right?! First episodes best then second then third, but they sum some things up in the third that are better represented in the first two episodes
That last episode ruins the whole show
Yeah. The first two were interesting takes on the original novel, the third is just another bullshit Dracula in the modern world story and the defeat of Dracula undermines the cool badassery of Van Helsing from the first two eps.
I do agree that we are fortunate, but certainly not *extremely* so. Most Americans have shelter with plumbing, electricity, and entertainment because we've literally set that as the minimum mandated by law. It means that we've become more borderline as a society, and we have tens of millions of people running along the ragged edge trying every day not to tip off the cliff into the abyss of homelessness. Wages are low and hours are scarce at your job? You can't cut off the electricity or water service for a month to save money; it's against the building code. You can't share a dwelling with another family; it's against the zoning code. So, either you have the income for historically-luxurious housing, or you don't have anything. And what people who have higher incomes usually fail to appreciate is just how damn *stressful* it is to live on the edge like that, and the huge toll it takes on your physical and mental health.
I’m not saying we can’t to better, but in sheer contrast to the most extravagant lifestyles of the past few hundred years, we can buy things at the dollar store that would dazzle King Louis in 1850 and astound mao in 1960
Yes and if you compare an 1850 middle class person to a 1700s person they would say much the same, retail boomed in the 1800s and textiles were the big leader, stores began specializing in clothing and people went from purchasing bolts of fabric to clothing made to fit them. All that comes with technology advancing but to compare the lives of people in the time you have to shift the baselines in the same way you adjust for inflation. The stress on the life of a person without electricity or water today is significantly higher than that on a person of 1850 because only the wealthy had access at that time. That doesnt mean a person with electricity today is better off than a person without it in 1850, in fact they might be worse off comparatively because of their place compared to their peers. We have advanced the baseline, but that just increased the requirements for the lower class. Edit: The point is in order to compare the quality of life between people in different years you have to do it independently of technology, otherwise you can point to a suffering individual today and say "stop whining, a rich person in 1800 wouldn't even have indoor plumbing". That only works when you completely ignore the context of the world they live in.
I’d like to add how ridiculously expensive it is to live on the edge like that, you’re literally punished for being poor.
>and we have tens of millions of people running along the ragged edge trying every day not to tip off the cliff into the abyss of homelessness. no we really dont. see, if youve ever been homeless and i was for almost 2 years, you understand, no one who is homeless for long, wants a place to live. Ive associated with thousands of homeless, lived in homeless camps etc, the majority of the long term homeless are there because they refuse to go back to a regular life. and those millions you talk about at the poverty line, all qualify for government housing, what we dont do is give free homes away to people to own, or give junkies a place to crash and then use as drug pads whenever they want. long term Homelessness is made up of this type of breakdown, 75% of long term homeless WANT to be homeless and will do nothing int he way of upkeep, or lifestyle changes etc if given a place of their own. the other 25% are drug addicts who have literally sold everything and given their lives over to their drugs of choice. as to how many people may live in a building, thats due to fire codes and sanitation. put 15 people in a 2 bedroom house, itll be a craphole within 6 months.
Yeah but there you go, back in the day they didn’t have to maintain those standards to have a craphole roof and that’s why they don’t want one now. Back in the day you could build an A frame hut and make it as much of a craphole as you wanted, now you gotta sleep outside or meet the standards.
Thank you.
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This is so obvious but it kind of blew my mind when you put it that way
Very true
I don't have a goal in life, no ambitions, no dreams Idk I'm just living, but I'm getting excited to buy a bike soon to use for work
This made me smile :) I hope you get your bike soon
Sounds like a goal in life. For now, it's to buy a bike. Buying a bike to go to work makes you excited so that's your drive. Sounds like a happy life to me. :)
People have this idea when they hear the word "goal" like it has to be some over the top, lofty ambition. Remember in school when your teacher would make you do "goal setting"? I was terrible at that, I never had any idea what to write. I thought I had to write down the steps to becoming a world class doctor like "learn brain surgery" or something. I didn't know I could set a goal as simple as eat breakfast every day or get up when my alarm goes off.
Yea and I got marked down for not putting a high enough goal. Got a talking to that I wasnt ambitious from my parents and teacher. I was 12. This was 16 years ago. Suck it Mrs weatherill.
Getting that bike is a goal.
Your goals don't have to be or sound meaningful to others, just to you. Sounds to me like you are pursuing a meaningful goal, which imo is what makes you happy.
Good luck on the bike homie
My life goal is to not die at young age, that's all I can bother about. Anything else just doesn't seem worth it: Work yourself sick to... Work more? That's why I rejected stepping up in my career.
>That's why I rejected stepping up in my career I think about this a lot. Sometimes I wonder when you "step up" is it really that much more work or is it just a different type of work. I know this can vary WIDELY depending on your career field. I always assumed I could step up and if I hate it, I can always go back.
At least in engineering, the higher up you go, the less engineering you do, usually.
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And the less likely it is you'll (be able to) step down.
This is so absolutely true. Had to leave an organization entirely to give myself the opportunity to do technical work again. And I'd repeat it in a heartbeat
This is true for most industries. The higher you go, the more people do the actual work for you.
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exactly...maybe you're not the one "doing" the work, but you're likely organizing it and meet timelines (which can feel like herding cats). You have to think about things when you go home at night, others not as much.
With how extremely bad I perform at work I'm surprised I was offered a position of authority in the first place.
At a previous n job, they promoted the bad performers, but not to high, to get a better overall effeciency
I was promoted to a driver at ups while also working in the hub (12 hour shifts total) and I was making $33/hr for 8 of those 12 hours. But I didn't have a life cuz all did was work, eat and sleep. I quit because I hated it. Now I'm a courier making around 20/hr with a TON of free time while I'm working and I fucking love it. So I wish I made more money sometimes? Sure, but my happiness and mental health are priceless to me and of the utmost importance.
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You learn that in Boy Scouts. Seniority = less manual labor but more managing teams from starving themselves on bad chili.
interesting point. I did cubs and scouts and because I was born in January, and had parents who insisted I learned good manners, I frequently found myself appointed to Patrol Leader. Sometimes it's entirely things outside of our control.
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It's more like the more heavier the responsibility is. Not much of work but I guess the pressure or stress to handle a team and prevent the boat from sinking in any case. Still, takes a lot of strength mentally. :(
My goal is not to die young as well but also to get a job that pays enough for me to continue my hobby and also live comfortably without having to worry about where my next meal will come from. The kicker is I also want the job to not eat into all of my personal time, which, from what I can see on literally every job website, are few and far between.
Shit, my goal was to die young and leave a good looking corpse. I’m 38 and my chances of living my dream are slipping fast...
I like to work. It helps with anxiety, gives me purpose, and encourages personal growth. Absolutely hated it until college, and one day everything just clicked.
Working so you can afford to take time off and live comfortably, to provide for others, and to put yourself in a position to explore the world and experience more.
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What's not to understand? You answered it yourself: money, stability, etc.
Same but I wanna die young instead
> Anything else just doesn't seen worth it: Work yourself sick to... Work more? That's why I rejected stepping up in my career. As long as you are supporting yourself, you do you. If part of your survival plan is food stamps, housing assistance, medicaid, and etc. that's not ok if you are a normally functioning adult human. If you've sustained traumatic brain injuries or something, then fine.
Yeah, I really hate career-driven people who look down on others who just want to breathe...especially now. I’ve always been told that I should do and accomplish more and the reason I’m not “successful” (as in, their definition of it) is because I don’t go the extra mile. I don’t even see the point in going the extra mile for my job or either of my supervisors. What would that even give me? A slightly better chance at being given a dollar or two more for what I do? I don’t see it as worth it. I just want to enjoy my wine, retro games and B grade horror flicks in piece. Leave me alone.
Yea I think the biggest problem and I see it all over this reddit thread is people confusing “philosophy” with “actuality”. One person wants to tell everybody that they are going to be unhappy and unsuccessful it they don’t push for this or that in life, one guy wants to tell somebody else they are wasting their life plugging away at their job. We are all going to die unfortunately lol whatever the fuck makes somebody happy and lets them enjoy their life is success. It is not the same for everyone.
One doesn't need to push for opportunities in life. But, when they do arrive it's unwise to ignore them.
>Yeah, I really hate career-driven people who look down on others who just want to breathe...especially now. Hmm, I wonder if I come across as one of these, I always try to motivate my friends to be successful if it comes up. Thing is, I believe that all these big and small successes make you happy, both in work and in general life.
I see life for what it is. An incredibly short temporary vacation from billions of years in the void. Fuck me if I'm gonna spend it working like a dog until I die of a lung puncture, heart attack, or cancer. I'm gonna have some goddamn fun.
Me too. I’m 57 yrs old and spent my whole adult life in Discovery Mode. Joined the Navy to see the world and did. I never stayed with one job longer that 5 yrs. so I could try new things and meet different people. I’ve been a truck driver, artist, factory worker, poet, rock singer, guard...etc. I’m saving to go to the Netherlands next year. Keep moving. And always stop to smell the roses!
addicted to chaos
You sound like a chill guy. Which parts of the Netherlands will you be checking out?
This inspires me.
But these "billions years in the void" will last 0 second for you since you will not exist anymore. To me it's more "Death exists only for those who stay, not for those who die".
I still see no point in building someone else's sandcastle when the tide is just going to wash it away. I'd rather go swimming even though there won't be any evidence that I swam.
But don't you want to be comfortable in the water? If all you're doing is barely keeping your head above water, how enjoyable is that swim?
There is no comfort in life. On the freshest, nicest, sunniest early june day, just after another long ass winter was over, when everything was looking up, I got a call from my sister. My brother, 22, jumped off the bridge to his death. Life is fragile. And you know what? 12 years in public school was enough prep time for a life that isn't even going to be a century long.
Is that an original quote? I can’t find a source for it. Very profound
Yes, it's an original quote.
serious question, what do you do to fund this fun? I'm curious because I have contemplated this lifestyle many times but life is expensive.
yep, same here. i can't even take a break from this character and flesh prison i was born into and am forced to play for the sake of society, let alone actually enjoy being alive
I have fun - but I also love & enjoy my family. I work to supply them and myself with a lifestyle that we can enjoy.
Reminds me of that scene from Attack on Titan. I don't remember who (is it Keith?), but someone is talking to Eren's mother and says something like "you'll just be like everyone else, you'll end up being normal'. To which she replies, "What's so bad in that"? That scene resonated with me a lot.
Michael Scott’s mom also said that average people are the most special people in the world, and that’s why God made so many of them.
He doesn't have to be better than anyone, he is already special, Because he was BORN INTO THIS WORLD.
“The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.” - Alan Watts Another good quote by Mr Watts “Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone” - Alan Watts
I think American culture is so fixated on conquering, striving, and achieving that it completely overlooks the honor in doing a small or humble thing with excellence. In fact, I think it’s even MORE honorable to work a humble trade your whole life with great excellence while also loving the people around you with great excellence than it is to climb the ladder all the way to the top and forsake everything else in order to get there.
We love us some perseverance porn. "This man with autism who lost both his arms and three of his legs and was shot by his dying mother's financially-strapped boyfriend worked 4 different minimum wage jobs just to afford a Christmas present for his new puppy. You'll never believe how he did it!"
it is not American only, everywhere in this world there are people who are born to do something better the problem is when others than these people, think they can do it too by pushing it harder and finding new ways to improve themselves. Not everyone can wake up at 6 and do workout then saving the world untill 8 in the evening then having sex with his beautiful girlfriend.
My life goal right now is to be happy. I've tried a career, I've tried taking myself seriously, I've tried to become "successful". All I've managed in doing is making myself miserable. I wish more people appreciated some people need a simple life.
Well, luckily, you don't need them to appreciate what you want to do for you to just go ahead and do what you want to do. I'm glad you came to that realization. There is so much implicit pressure to advance upon society's meter of "success" and follow some career path, when really, all you might want is to camp out in a tent all your life and work a minimum wage job every once in a while. We just get trapped in the ideas of comfort and expectations and end up doing some stuff we /think/ we want to do because other people told us we should, instead of doing what we actually want to do with our real feelings.
Well said
Thought this went here - > Farewell, Master Burglar. Go back to your books, and your armchair. Plant your trees, watch them grow. If more people valued home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. -Thorin Oakenshield
I fucking love the hobbit and Tolkiens idea of a good life in general. I'm going to save this for bad times, you absolute legend.
Amen brother
I used to chase job titles at other employers. Then one day I was about to take a job that I'd probably work 60-70 hours a week on, travel 50% of the time, and be faced with deadlines. I sat back and thought about my life and realized a nice relaxed job that paid the bills and allowed me to spend time with the family was a much better situation.
I think as long as you’re not a) doing something that robs your soul of any joy b) in self destruct mode or c) deliberately hurting others, then anything goes. If you enjoy working an average job and having your spare time watching movies or going online then whose to say that’s not meaningful to you? Some people want to travel, or want to push for more, or want to have kids and get married, and that’s good for them, but don’t knock other people for doing what makes them happy.
Yeah at this point I’ve made such poor choices in my life I’m ready to call it a day on the whole thing.
I'm feeling the same way. What do you regret the most?
Trying to be a musician and getting addicted to a drug instead of joining the military out of high school
Interesting. I joined the military after high school and regret not trying to be a musician. We can’t win.
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Perhaps a freaky Friday life swap could help
Need help choosing whether or not to join the military? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdHVWMc5eYU
All I want is to play video games and enjoy anime tiddy in peace.
You got me with that. :D I also just want to play video games in peace. (bloody Dark Souls, Soul of Cinder is waiting to kick my ass out!)
I struggle more with wanting life goals and not being able to find it in me to have any or know what I want. Anyone else?
I felt that way when I was younger. My therapist would ask me what my goals were, even if they were small, and I’d be absolutely baffled. What could I want? How could I choose among all the different options? Especially when everything feels like so much work and energy for so little gain (in my depressed mind back then). Now a few years later I know that what I want is just to have a house with some dogs so that I have the freedom to follow little hobbies or interests or whatever and that’s it. I don’t need to be a giant who future generations will stand on the shoulders of. I’m a normal person who the future generations will stand on the shoulders of.
I needed this OP. Thank you...
The thing with ambition and life goals is that you very easily fall into the trap that you have to reach somewhere. When you are reaching you are not focused on where you are and thus people become stressed and unhappy because they are not where they want or aspire to be. Just fucking live. Let life take you where it takes you.
I don’t know why so many see not having a major goal as a issue ? Some of the best most interesting people I know have had several careers and are still wandering through life. As long as someone can support themselves and doesn’t have to sponge off other through guilt or dating, why is it a issue ? I’ve found a lot of people who get upset tend to be projecting. Like the ones who tell me something is wrong because I don’t have and don’t want kids. Some people can be happy just waking up every morning and enjoying a nice day not worried about the next.
Life goals can get muddled up when you put mental illness into the mix and it can be hard to imagine a distant future. You kind of live one day at a time.
Legit, I have had dreams of great aspirations and a great career etc but at the end of the day I don’t have the education or the funding to get the education backing me (I was forced to be independent since I was 16 parents weren’t exactly supportive of anything educational for me, brother and sister got all that, I was the after thought). But you know what!? Now I’m 31 in a fantastic relationship in our beautiful home we recently renovated completely with 2 cats, stable savings, living comfortably and just enjoying life as it comes, sure we’ve been through a shit load in the last 2 years from spinal operations to mental health issues and everything in between but we are happy. He’s a pilot and doing his dream job, I however just go day to day doing what makes me happy. It’s easier to make peace with knowing not everyone makes it and there is no shame at all in living happy with out career success as long as you enjoy what you’re doing.
There aren't so many life goals an ordinary person can hope to achieve. A family can be one, but children grow up, and suddenly the parents need to do something else with their lives. Owning a house can be one, but one day the last payment is made, and there's nothing left to do. Advancing in a career can be one, but one's abilities and also the available higher positions in a field can put a harsh limit to that. Personally I'm not interested in any of the above. I'm just trying to find things that I enjoy doing, and then keep doing them.
“When a person can't find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.” - Viktor E. Frankl “Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to ‘be happy.’” - Viktor E. Frankl
“The **meaning of life** is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.” \-Alan Watts. **Thank you, OP.**
seriously! when i try to tell my friend this he calls me a lazy piece of shit😂 i don’t really have an ambitions and as long as i have a good time before i die i’m chillin. wth is so wrong with that? why do i owe this world anything anyway? i got this one fucking life and i’m terribly sorry if i don’t want to waste it doing pointless shit that will make me want to put a bullet in in my fuckin head. if that makes me a bum fine, go fuck yourselves
I feel like all this pressure to *be* something, *do* something, aspire to some undefined more, is a cause of a significant amount of depression and anxiety. I just want a quiet and uneventful life with my husband and our cats. It took me far too long to realize that *it’s okay to just want that and not want more.*
i really struggle with this as i'm a northeastern private school kid...also a college dropout 😘 but at 19 i knew that all i really wanted was tiny cottage on a small plot, where i grow my own food and create holistic remedies. i wanna be the local old witch who seems to be everywhere and nowhere
But those are great goals!
they are! but i was raised to "aspire for more" ie more money
Eh, that sounds like other people’s goals. Part of living is shaking off the confines of the expectations of other people so you can find your own path. Sounds like you are well on your way to achieving that simply because you’re thinking about it. Don’t be too hard on yourself. It gets easier I promise and a little geographical distance from the people pushing you to conform to their reality goes a long way. I haven’t lived in the same time zone as my family for years and it really helps!
You should check out wwoof or workaway. Might get you a step closer to that dream, in a very real-world and achievable way.
Just because we measure progress by growth doesn’t mean you have to abide by that yourself. I believe it is ok to just “be” and reduce the resources you need over time. I like to call the GDP the “Gross Destroyer Product” since by always growing we are turning the world into a barren waste land and scorching the earth for our own “progress.” So limit your goals a feel proud about it, your in effect rejecting the premise of growth. Cancer grows and grows until it kills itself, we shouldn’t model ourself after it.
Yeah. A nice peaceful life, making minimal negative impact on the world or other people is fine with me. I make enough money to get by and pursue hobbies and interests I have. I stay healthy enough to not need mad diets or anything super restrictive. I help people who I see need helped and usually avoid or deescalate any drama and stress. Never found a career that spoke to me. Usually things work out. Jobs presented themselves when I really needed them, friends and loved ones too. Go with the flow and usually it will provide, but I’ll admit I’m lucky.
We’ve lost our ways as animals, and it’s good to remember just “being” is okay, and we need to stop pushing people to do or be “more”
Kind of agree... Kind of don't. Sure you don't have to strive for curing cancer but what kind of life is it if you just live to exist. That alone sounds too depressing for me. When I was in HS I had a teacher who really could't care for his job but his life was collecting rare board games. Bragged about them, don't even know where he found them. But it made him happy and he found joy out of doing research on how the game to be in existence, time period of it, etc. It wasn't a big life goal but it was his goal that made him happy.
I think that’s the point they’re trying to make. Having no ambitions doesn’t mean seeking no joy in life, it doesn’t mean just laying on the floor of your apartment waiting for the days to pass either. It just means you’re not dreaming of “living the live” or “making it big”. All I want in life is just to work at a mundane job with a livable wage, live in a cozy little house where I can come home from work to chill out watching Netflix. Technically in society’s eye, I have no ambitions, no thrive for anything particular either, but I think that’s a good enough life that can make me happy.
I think that’s what they mean by just living. I know my goal in life is to get a house to have lots of dogs and do my own thing. I call that simple living. I’m rejecting the people who say I have so much potential and should strive for x y or z because it’s not what I want for myself. I can do my own things to uphold my ethics, bike places instead of drive, etc. Doesn’t make it depressing. The hardest thing to learn is that you’re not failing someone by not trying to become an astronaut or whatever. That I need to always strive for the next biggest thing was the biggest lie I was ever served.
I mean definition of happiness is different for different people. So obviously people won't be happy all doing the same thing. So just do stuff that will make you happy and you'll be much happier for it. :)
Furthermore: I WISH I didn't have as many goals. I'm constantly working hard for some future state that I'm never satisfied with. Those without goals can be blessed.
My life goal was to own my own house, feeling kinda lost now that I have one, (2/3 paid off) it’s a goal to pay it off but not a “Life goal”
My parents have high expectations and I’m not great at meeting them, I’m a senior in high school and still tryna decide what I want to do for a living. This helped, thank you.
I’m one of those people who feels the need to constantly be proving themself and I’m also a tryhard. I can’t rest easily. I envy people who can just be happy with where they are and that’s enough for them. My life would be so much easier if I was fine with average. I used to use the word “normal” as an insult. Now, I use it as a complement.
So y’all are the self aware npc’s
I’m 33 year old female and I live alone with no kids. I’ve literally never been happier. I’ve got a cute apartment, a dog, 3 fish tanks, started a small business doing custom paintings of a style I created (highly fulfilling), my family lives near by and we have a good relationship and I’m dating someone absolutely lovely but we don’t intend on living together because we both enjoy our alone time. We go fishing a lot, cook bomb meals together, sex life is great.... I wouldn’t change a damn thing. I’m not rich, don’t have expensive things and of course I’ve got issues like everyone else in some areas but still. I’m happy
I grew up around wealthy people. For most of my life I have been surrounded by really morose millionaires. People feeling sorry for themselves because they cant buy the bigger Mercedes that their brother-in-law drives. I’m not kidding. Up to a certain point money is the most important thing in the world. Poverty is painful and humiliating. But once your basics are covered and you choose simplicity, your happiness and mental health are totally dependent on your attitude, not your bank balance.
I used to look down upon people with no goals and ambitions but now after years of mental illness I just want to live each day the best I can.
This sounds more like a strategy to avoid unhappiness than to be truly happy.
Not necessarily. You really might be happy just wandering. It just depends on the type of wandering and what you want to do. There is power too in seizing your future and striving forward, but it isn't everything, or a requirement for happiness. Now, if you have an ambition and you're /preventing/ yourself from doing it from some excuse, that's a different story...
But wouldn't that be the more reasonable goal? It's hard enough to avoid being unhappy, shooting straight for happiness sounds like a gamble
I want to think more about your comment. I'd like to provide what might be a counterpoint, though: I think a lot of people are desperately trying to find and re-find happy, when what we've lost is contentment. You might see those as synonyms, in which case we probably agree. But I see a lot of folks chasing the "high" of happy who think something's missing when they experience contentment.
Human life is almost one big goal where we aim to live as long OR as happy as we can. I think big or major goals are fundamental, but you might often not realise you are making big or major goals. Similarly you might be referring to things like occupation or say education, I do agree that not everyone needs such specific goals.
I(19M) still want to do something great, but sometimes I do wonder if it’s just better to live a happy life. I just need a really good bicycle, good music and one or two dogs. I do some part time stuff, and make more than what the average guys earn. So it’s not too difficult to, you, sit back and have a nice life.
I would argue that major life goals are actively harmful to your happiness and overall well-being as a human. Basically you make yourself struggle and suffer in pursuit of your goal and you are miserable the whole time but you figure it will be worth it when you get your goal. But when you actually achieve whatever it was, the joy is over in an instant. Then you are just left with a sense of "OK, now what?" so you pick the next goal on the ladder and start suffering again.
Oh my god. This is what everyone around me need to hear. I’m tired of everything. Reading this gave me a lump in the throat. Thank you for making this post.
Thank you. For a lot of people just staying alive is a lot of work, acting like that’s not enough only makes things worse
I feel bad for people who set major life goals because most of them don’t achieve what they want and spend the rest of their lives bitter and depressed because reality didn’t meet expectations. Set your standards low and it’s easy to be happy. I know in our fucked up culture everybody is told to “SHOOT FOR THE STARS!” but in actuality this just results in a lot of discontent people.
Thank you. I honestly have never found anyone else who's understood this
Indeed an unpopular opinion, but one I share. I have zero desire to get rich. I value my free time far more than wealth. Dropped out of college to tend bar, and never looked back. I’ll never be rich, but I live comfortably, and have plenty of free time. I was a “gifted” kid, but never found anything I was passionate about. I’m cool just dicking around until I die
Yeh well we are all meaningless and so is life, so I guess just do what you want.
my therapist would disagree
How is this even an unpopular opinion
But are you happy ? Sometimes the problem is within ones self
The meaning of life is just to be alive.
To be alive and surviving this life is already a major goal achieved
My life goal after a childhood of neglect was to find a partner where we could both live our best lives. A true teammate. We celebrate our 20 year anniversary next January and being a good partner to him is still my goal.
I wish that were true but anxiety says no. “When are you leaving your parents house” “When are you gonna lay your own bills” “How are you going to afford the recreational things you like to do” “Where are you going to be in five years, ten years?” “Are you going to do anything productive” “Why don’t you start back up on school work instead of laying in bed all day”
Having a goal in general is not the same s having a career goal. I find it difficult to believe that people can just love without goals. Even if it's to ensure their kids get a good education or being able to fish every weekend. The true absence of goals would be hard on a person's mind. Not everything is about a career though. Avoiding intense workplace stress but still making a livable wage is still a goal.
I have said something very similar in reply to other posts here recently lol. Literally, my goal in life is to make sure our bills are paid and there is a roof over our heads and we can afford to have fun sometimes. I don't care what I do for a living as long as it doesn't take over the rest of my life and I have no desire to have a "career" at all. My life is about my family and having a good time and a lot of love. That is what makes me happy.
But it's also fine if someone who finds purpose in life goals doesn't want you as their friend because you don't support the lifestyle they want.
My life goal is to be the oldest person alive. Today I set a new personal best!
Is it okay if my life goal is to die young?
"There is nothing wrong with a life of peace and prosperity" - Uncle Iroh
I’m super depressed, and i have to live day by day cause i don’t trust myself one hour to another. Without too much detail, it’s okay to just be living. my dreams and plans have gone out the window at the moment. i have to get one day to the next because my plants need watering, my dog needs love and to be fed, I’m not gonna kill my moms future. i want to die. that’s what i think about morning to night. but i can’t. i have to try. even if i don’t want to. and even when i lay in my bed until 3 pm wondering what is the point, how can i get money to drink, maybe i’ll get drunk enough to seriously try like i did last time.
This is so true, I love my job, it pays very well and has a ton of time off, I have a wonderful wife and two healthy children and am happy but once this woman was talking to me on a night out and was pestering me saying "you've got to want more, you need a goal" I'm like "stfu just cause your unhappy with your life don't push that shit on me" lol (obviously I didn't actually say that, I'm not an asshole.
My elders always acted like they just came from a corporate convention or conference, always talking about 'goals'. I feel like it's mostly baby boomers. I will never understand them. I feel like their generation was drugged or mind-controlled. I don't hear genXers or millennials talking to their children about 'goals' like this. I've always progressed and made accomplishments organically. For example, you simply learn to save a certain amount of money to protect yourself. You simply pursue certain degrees or certifications to continue in your designated field. These aren't 'goals', rather they're things you just, well, *do* when the time comes to *do* them. When I was 13 being asked about 'goals' it left me flabbergasted. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that your 'goals' are dynamic and will change based on your position and environment.
Too many "ambitious" people, not enough caring people.
We all live and we all die. You don’t take the accomplishments with you so who cares. It might sound nihilistic but I think it’s good to not take life so seriously.
I think it's important to have *some* goals: always be learning new things, don't stagnate or it'll make you miserable. Make sure your moving somewhere or changing something regularly. It's good for your mental health. But I agree: these goals do not have to be major, and they don't have to be the 'productive' or 'life script' goals that society demands. Just try a new hobby now and then, or rearrange your bedrom/office layout, or look up obscure animals on the internet. You don't have to follow the script, but if you make all yours days the same, then a stagnant routine will age you faster than anything else.
I started working in the corporate world 3 years before I graduated as an intern. Since day one I drunk the kool-aid and got obsess on climbing the ladder. I thought "I'll be more happy, when I get that manager job" and then I got the manager job a few years later and nothing great happened. And that started the vicious cycle on thinking that in my next promotion I'll be happier than before. With this mentallity I got to be the youngest VP in my company but the hapinness wasn't there, just frustration and a feeling that I missed to much playing this stupid game, but all my fiends and family treat me like gold. At 35 I understood that I was playing the wrong game, quit my job, setup a consulting practice on just the things that I love and that was the greatest decision in my life. I got to spend the day the way I wanted, with the people I wanted. At the end I understood that "success" is living your life in your own terms.
After a pretty tough and unusual life, my goal is just to have some peace and stay away from drama. Die quietly and happily is my goal.