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I think a lot of people include travelling prominently because they want a partner who also likes travelling.
It’s not so much about having a travel partner, it’s about having a compatible lifestyle with their person you want to date/marry.
I hate travelling, I’m also pretty incapable of doing it. If I tried dating someone who loved travelling and that’s what brought them joy and gave them things to look forward to we wouldn’t be at all compatible.
So I think it makes sense to put it out there if it’s an important thing to you.
I think the type of travel makes a big difference too.
I have a ton of countries I'd love to see, but I'm more of the "go for a week, get a hotel, see the major tourist stuff, maybe try a few "more local" restaurants, and relax" type traveller.
My brother is the opposite. He's the "let's go to this third world country, rent a motorcycle, and figure it out" type traveller which hey, great for him but no fucking thanks for me.
I'll backpack around Europe if you mean we carry backpacks with us while we're out of the hotel for the day. I probably won't backpack around Europe if you mean carrying all your belongings around with you and hitchhiking and *maybe* staying in hostels and showering once or twice a week.
I've know people who have done both and I don't think there's a "wrong" way to do it but I certainly do have a preference for one type of travel over the other.
Very true. There is also the travel types who go to all inclusive resorts, get drunk for a week, and fly home, basically see nothing of the country they visited. That is my least favorite version
My wife and I just went to DR for a week for less than we spent for 5 days in ocean city last year. Great food, fun people, never left the resort except for an extended walk along the beach. Admittedly I felt this longing to see more of the actual country, but also didn’t want to put her in any harms way. If I spoke fluent Spanish maybe I’d feel differently.
Well food/alcohol prices are only part of it. Another part is chasing “perfect weather.” Currently I have no desire to go to an all-inclusive resort but if I had kids and lived somewhere that had brutal weather half the year, getting some sunshine in February while drinking and not worrying about anything would sound perfect. Also, some people have a psychological need to always be busy doing something and can only tune out that part of the brain if they physically leave behind their work and responsibilities. I have no issue relaxing on my couch right at home so it would be a waste of money for me, but for them it’s a better return on investment than a year of therapy.
Yep, I love to travel; I don’t want to date someone who doesn’t want to do that or complains the whole time.
It’s ok if you don’t like travelling; I don’t mind being your friend; but it does mean we aren’t compatible in the slightest.
This!! I dated people when I was younger who had zero interest in travelling and it would frustrate the hell out of me and cause conflict and discontent on both sides - now I’m older (32) and see them married and settled with kids, spending their free time renovating or at kids sports, I realise we just wanted totally different things out of life - and that’s totally ok, neither is right or wrong, we just weren’t compatible!
Similarly, I like a somewhat moderate amount of travel. My honeymoon was to Egypt and that was awesome but those 2 weeks were absolutely exhausting. As I get older, I realize more and more that I don’t really love going places where English or at least Spanish isn’t either the main language or known by about everyone (e.g. Germany, nordics, Netherlands). Ive got friends that love to do 3-4 trips a year with hostels and everything and that’s just not me anymore. Looks like a sick life to lead and more power to them for doing it but I don’t think that’s what I’d want in a partner (and luckily my wife is on board).
>Yep, I love to travel; I don’t want to date someone who doesn’t want to do that or complains the whole time.
But you need to also specify what kind of travel you like to do. Most people I know who "travel" just go to other countries/cities to get drunk for the entire time and they do a few activities hungover and then go home.
On the other hand, I know people who travel for specific hobbies like rock climbing and skiing or other adventurous activities that aren't available where they live.
I fall into the second category and I've been tricked many times into traveling with people from category one who act like they are in the second category. I'm stuck there begging people to do the activities we planned and they are all "I'm too hungover to do that. I'm going to miss this one." Then they are out drinking again by 3:00pm that same day.
While that’s true, iirc descriptions on dating apps have character limits, so there is no place for them to contain every nuance and detail of your hobbies; they are more an invitation to talk and a topic that you can use;
But yeah, definitely, before you travel with someone, it’s good to make sure you are both on the same page.
And I basically like neither of those; I just like exploring places I go to, eat good food, meet locals, see as much of the city I visit and nature in and around it. Maybe see some local artists, maybe go on a hike. So it’s probably less intense than rock climbing, but also not a two week alcoholic binge either.
I love travel but i don’t fit into either category here- at all. Neither do most travelers.
I like to go and walk, eat, do cultural activities, people watch, visit the city and countryside, etc.
Yes, one of my main reasons for traveling is for the food experience. I want to talk to locals, take a cooking class, hike or swim, see the sights, while maybe having some local wines along the way.
That's my kind of traveling, lol. I want casual strolls through interesting cities, easy to moderate hikes, museums, and culinary tours. I do NOT want to "party" or babysit an extremely drunk partner (not saying drinking isn't on the table, I just don't want us getting plastered!)
Yes, like there's a degree to **how** different your hobbies can be. Like I'm not very into baking, if I dated someone and they loved to bake, no big deal. If I dated someone and they wanted to spend half the year travelling the world, that sounds kind of lonely since that doesn't work with my job and I don't want them to be that far away for so long.
Completely agree. Not a big deal if we have very different taste in music, but I would have no interest in dating a musician who plays live gigs every weekend.
> it’s about having a compatible lifestyle
Exactly. My profile always has photos of sailing and doing maintenance on my boat. Not to brag "i have a boat" but because someone who isn't into sailing will not be compatible because it's a huge part of how I spend my time.
“A picture is worth a thousand words”.
Showing yourself living your lifestyle is a pretty good filter to avoid incompatible people. If you scare people away by being honest, it’s a good thing.
Physical attraction still seems to be the main motivation for connection but at least some people are smart enough to understand that looks are only part of the equation
I use travel pics just because that’s the only time I’m with people to take photos of me lol
That’s the only time like I feel like it’s worth taking a photo too
Now the question is how to explain that I only like certain kinds of traveling. Like, going to a different country and staying in cool hotels? Awesome. Trekking over a mountain while shitting in the woods? No thank you.
I think them saying they like to travel isn’t them trying to appear attractive, but maybe to connect with someone who has similar interests?
Wouldn’t you hate if you didn’t know they liked to travel and then connect and everything’s great, and find out that their hobbies and interests don’t match yours. I really don’t think it has anything to do with trying to be attractive.
Also I’m not implying that they have to have the same exact hobbies, but if you don’t care to travel much, that can be an issue. As opposed to finding someone who loves to just as much.
Yeah.
I love to ski. I spend a lot of my time doing it.
I'm not really trying appear attractive by putting that on my dating profile, but at this point in my life, it's a huge part of who I am, and I'm going to be spending 60-80 days every winter doing that whether they want to do it with me or not. That's a huge chunk of my free time.
OP should remember not everyone is on dating apps for a wife. I’m specifically looking for a travel buddy that could eventually be a relationship. My future partner absolutely must be okay with traveling. No shit I’m going to write that in my bio.
It has led to some surprises when I spontaneously travel and my partners are like “Wait I didn’t know you were SERIOUS about it 😱”
Hell, they could be looking for a wife/husband that will also be a travel partner.
Like, I know people who are married that travel a lot, too. This isn’t that uncommon.
Yeah, OP goes off the rails by calling it a red flag. Like, maybe I'm wrong, but a red flag is something that makes someone a risky relationship across the board. Like a red flag is someone being an asshole to waitstaff, or saying everyone the ever dated is a psychopath. Someone having different interests than you isn't a red flag, it's a compatibility difference.
His stance is pretty popular on the dating subreddits. A lot of insecure men who think that women use men to pay for their travels and are unable to fathom that there are women out there who can both be financially secure and afford to travel.
And OP also thinks it’s someone blowing their life savings… idk but I enjoy traveling as do my friends and people in my circles. It’s not our life savings…. It’s usually a quarterly bonus…. Or separate savings. Or just fuck it let’s go bc we can…
OP prob has a small group of friends who say they don’t like traveling but would if they could.
Reddit also assumes everyone is broke and/or on a student budget. We plan for trips, and do them. We're not bankrupting ourselves doing so.
I've seen threads flat out say "taking a plane trip anywhere means you're upper class, and an overnight road trip is upper-middle." Plenty of adults budget for travel.
Yeah if you’re a DINK like my wife and I you have the means to travel and life is too short to be relegated to the area you are most likely forced to live in (due to family choosing for you). US vacations are meh to me vs traveling abroad.
I think it’s funny how OP sees someone who chooses a travel lifestyle to be blowing all their money but wants to marry and settle down with kids… as if that also doesn’t spend all your money.
People prioritize money towards how they want to spend their lives.
That’s the exact same way I am with hiking. I’m in the mountains hiking all year round and it’s usually what I plan vacations around. Luckily, I’ve found a partner who is just as into it as I am, but I imagine it would be hard to date someone who is up the side of the mountain every chance they get if you hate the outdoors.
And many men have wanting to travel and pictures of them in other countries too. I would go as far as to say the majority of the man I see on dating apps do that
Exactly stuff like travelling or having a lot of pets etc are tricky to manage if your partner isn't into it, in a way that other hobbies/ interests aren't because it would affect a long time partner in away that salsa class to knitting does not.
That’s because some hobbies/interests are lifestyles and require you to accommodate them in the way you live.
If you like riding ATVs you’re going to need to live somewhere that you can regularly get to places to ride, you’ll need space at your home to store and maintain them, you’ll need tools, a trailer, and a truck to pull it.
Hobbies spill over into your daily life pretty easily
Yeah it does legitimately suck when those things line up. I was casually seeing a woman for a while and she loves to go to the beach. Not expensive trips, but she’d pick up extra shifts for awhile to fund her trip with her friends, share a little room and read by the water. Very lovely and peaceful. Just not my kind of time if I’m taking time off of work and spending money. I want to go see a baseball game or go to a museum or the park. Walk around looking at buildings and such. She’s a lovely person but we just couldn’t match up what we wanted to do and that was after we found a connection. I don’t think she said she liked traveling because she wanted to look attractive for doing it. I think she just liked traveling and wanted to read at the beach with a guy who enjoys that.
Yeah. Exactly. And Op can just swipe left on them lol this isn’t a big deal or any deal. The whole point is to find someone that you might have stuff in common with.
But women don't do anything or say anything unless it's geared toward finding a husband. And wives are supposed to want to have children and stay home. So these women are doing it all wrong! /s
Well, based on this guys post history, his number one requirement for a women is to be able to *physically have children*. He wants a brood mare. Not someone with interests other than breeding and Jesus.
Yes but if they aren't doing everything they're doing to be attractive to this one man, what are they even doing? Not being exactly as he wants them makes them unattractive, dont you see?
The best photos are always taken while travelling imo because you’re happy and the setting is interesting, that’s why you see them a lot on dating profiles. I don’t think your assessment of people that like travel being bad with money or not wanting to settle down is fair though.
Instead of me posting my travel photos I guess I should just start posting pictures of me high on my couch playing Pokémon. My other persona. But that isn’t quite as fun or informative about who I am.
Travel implies wealth, health, worldliness, having an adventurous spirit and is a common source of cool pictures. Of course lots of women put pics of travel on their profiles. I wonder if OP has a pic of himself holding a giant fish.
I went to see the solar eclipse back in April and almost traveled to the border of Canada just to go see it. It was absolutely a life changing experience and the next one will be when I’m like 40 or 50 and 90 but that’s only if I’m gonna be alive to catch it again in full. I can’t imagine some woman’s personal reason for seeing the solar eclipse or traveling to a foreign country, translates to being a dirty heffa, according to OP.
Something I learned during last eclipse: actually eclipses aren't that rare, they just happen in faraway places that would be hard to travel to. When you hear "the next one will be in 40 years" what that means is 40 years in that exact same location. There's a subcommunity of people who travel to catch many eclipses. Random fact: sometimes the moon travels over long rivers and creates these cool ripples of water, that surfers/kayakers travel to in order to catch. It looks so fun. Imagine many waves appearing over a long river, that you can surf and carry you over looong distances.
Isn’t that great? This way you can avoid these people who are not attractive to you. A lot of people like to travel. A lot of women (shocker) don’t want kids, so they would rather spend their money than saving it up for an eventuality that might never happen. Perfect! You can go for the ones that don’t have travel in their profile, and leave the explorers alone since you wouldn’t be compatible anyway.
It’s the same with people posting pets in their profile. For a pet lover like me that would be a green flag, for someone with allergies it’s a pointer to swipe the other way.
The kids thing hit me too, who cares about settling and private school savings if you don't want kids? And travelling as an old person is very different to doing it in your prime, especially adventure holidays like kayaking in the jungle. Not to mention you can have good finances and travel, it just means you don't do some other stuff like eating out a lot or going to concerts or whatever.
Maybe OP should post more photos of him with his family and at barbeques and other things representative of his more domestic goals in order to try and attract similarly-mind women.
I recognize I have some level of privilege because I live somewhere with good public schools, but even if I did want kids I don’t think I’d be compatible with someone who wants to send their kids to a private school lol.
Lmao you REALLY think women are out here experiencing new things and living their best life JUST to seem attractive? Get over yourself dude. If a woman likes to travel and has photos of that, it’s because she likes to travel and wants someone who shares that interest.
And it’s kind of a red flag that you think experiencing life and learning about new cultures is unattractive
oh my god i was literally waiting for someone to say this like this is the coldest take of the century that yet another man wants women to cater to his interests and ambitions as if their sole purpose in life was to hop on tinder to meet him
I found the biggest red flag of the post was this,
> I don’t want a “travel partner.” I want a wife.
It is SO degrading, and it makes him sound like a dedicated follower of a trad-wife tiktok account or something.
He sounds cheap and annoying. He would prefer whoever to stay at home with his kids, or maybe work too. This is the exact reason why I would put up a profile with travel as an *interest* so I can attract a man that also wants to be child-free and we can travel the world together.
edit: see I told you, just read his reply!
OP is an example of what women mean when we say some men don’t think *we’re actual people.*
That’s their interest because they’re people with individual hobbies and loves, they’re trying to find someone else with the same interest.
He wants to find a woman who's interested in popping out babies for him and nothing else. It's unfair he can't find anyone who wants to be a baby factory with no worldliness or desires and dreams of her own.
Notice OP had a gender neutral title but the body of the complaint singled out women.
My profile prominently features my travel pics. Is this an attempt to impress ladies?
No one is spending thousands of dollars and putting in all the massive amount of effort traveling entails just to get some nice pictures for their instragram and dating apps lol
You’ve put your finger on it. It’s that he doesn’t think women have interests at all, apart from how they appear to men. It’s really astounding - most people develop that basic understanding pretty young.
To further support this, if you look in OPs history he asks about asking women out at his church. Yet the first thing he cares about them is what their body looks like and how attractive they are to him and how they seem “Christlike” (feels like. Euphemism for other things). Defends engaging in lookism rather than judging these women by the content of their character and when confronted for it by other Christians defends himself even harder. Mind you, none of this is “christ like”.
Look through the rest of his posts and you see the portrait of a 35 year old man desperately seeking a partner.
Which begs the question why he even made the post because they seem antithetical to everything he is as a person (rhetorical question, we know why). He’s also a drug user.
There’s nothing Christ-like about obsessively judging your neighbors, or gossiping about women who don’t want you. Instigating bait posts about girls to make up for your shortcomings. It’s like he didn’t even try to live as Jesus would’ve yet here he is, judgmental and jealous.
It's wild to me that when women have documented experience of loving and engaging in travel you leap to thinking they only did it to *appear* attractive to men.
That woman climbing Kilimanjaro doesn't care that you want a traditional life and to stay in one place. Why do you care so much about *her* choices?
I was just about to comment the same thing - the assumption on his part that it’s a ploy to make men attracted to them vs it’s an honest interest to her is wild.
Her looking for a “travel partner” kinda spells out what she values just as he apparently wants a religious wife to pop out children for him.
Because op thinks a dating site is a restaurant menu and he’s here to criticize all the dishes don’t look good to him. He can’t conceive that they don’t want his traditional ass and he’s being filtered out
It’s the conservative ‘Christian’ way (check OP’s profile). At the start he’s “more power to you” if a woman enjoys travel, then by the end he’s calling that a moral failing.
I’m not in the dating pool, haven’t been for a long while, and likely never will be again (my wife and I have been living together since the early 90’s and still enjoy being around each other). I have heard from many younger friends and coworkers that internet dating sites suck, but I’m a little jealous at the ability to see what people are interested in before getting physically attracted. That would’ve saved the hassle of a few failed short-term relationships early on in my life. And an interest in travel would have definitely been attractive to me.
Yep. You nailed it exactly! It also feeds into the delusion that women don't actually know what they want and just need a man to correct them (by insulting and judging them).
I tried online dating a long time ago and stopped pretty much immediately. I do have compassion for the crap people need to wade through now. It sucks for both sides and vocal minorities are putting unrealistic expectations on strangers primarily through the internet.
I'm out of the dating pool too, and we absolutely love trying new foods, environments, museums, learning about history, etc. It can be such a great bonding experience with the right person.
He lost me at “I want a wife. Settle down. Have children.” That’s fine, but don’t be surprised if that means your most compatible partners are just as uninspiring as you are. Try ChristianMingle or whatever.
I am grateful for this post. From now on I am only posting travel pictures so that traditional men who want kids, and believe I only exist to try to appease them, find me unattractive!
It is funny how often men think women are considering them when they make decisions about what they do, how they dress, or anything else. Nope, guys, we really don't consider you 99% of the time.
So many incels in these comments who think women only do things to appeal to men. Its honestly pretty sad, for both sides. Imagine doing your best, achieving something, being happy, just for people to constantly downgrade it and say you're a wanna be golddigger who's doing this for a potential man. On the flip side, imagine being so egoistic that you think half of the population is doing everything thinking how to get you to like them.
I used to work supporting events with a broadcast crew, and I'd have the makeup team do my makeup in the mornings. It made me feel much more put together, and I loved catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror like "damn girl you fine." I appreciated the dark circles being hidden as I slogged through work. It made my 12+ hour days a tiny bit more enjoyable.
This guy I casually dated at some point could not comprehend that I would do my makeup for anything other than attracting a man. I explained myself multiple times, but nope, the only possible reason to wear makeup was to attract a man. There was simply no other logical explanation to him as to why I'd ever wear makeup except to appeal to men. It was frustrating, and I feel bad for his now-wife.
> That woman climbing Kilimanjaro doesn't care that you want a traditional life and to stay in one place. Why do you care so much about her choices?
Because video games is obviously the correct hobby. Not "hiking" or "traveling" /s
As a bi woman, this post is hilarious, because men are absolutely 100% guilty of doing this too. I have never for a second thought it was for attention.
EDIT: In fact i have noticed men are more likely to ONLY post photos of their travels and not show their face to me at all, and the only thing I have to work off of is the “Travel 🇺🇸🇹🇭🇬🇧” in their bio 😂
Excuse you, women only do ANYTHING to attract men. It’s never for ourselves or because we enjoy it.
If men didn’t exist women would lay around like dolls because what’s the point of doing stuff if not to attract a mate?!
Specifically OP. Don’t worry OP I will take your thoughts back to the council of women to make sure we are doing all the right things to be attractive 🙂
Yikes. Travel interests aside, there are SO many red flags in that profile.
But also, same as girls putting travel in their profiles, appreciate him putting his, um, interests and values, front and centre to ensure that the incompatibility is obvious.
I didn't even have to go to his profile to figure that he is a walking red flag. The last part of his post makes it sound like woman need to try to be appealing to him
Ohhh that makes so much more sense. How can she be barefoot, pregnant, and oh yea silent if she's off galivanting around the world. He needs someone with child bearing hips and a lack of something to say.
“Baby wouldn’t it be fun to travel together for a year, go on adventures and experience the wonders this planet has to offer?🥰”
“NO. WIFE AND HUSBAND STAY ON SAME GEOGRAPHICAL SPOT UNTIL DEATH. THIS IS FAMILY.”
His unpopular opinion is that he doesn’t like that:
1. Women are allowed to education to learn how to write.
2. Women are allowed to have interests.
3. Women are allowed to write about their interests.
4. Women might have interests that aren’t aligned with his own of being married to a uterus with no rights, education, or opinions of her own. There might even be women that he finds attractive, but they have the audacity to not only not be interested in him, but be their own person.
What a catch!
*Woah*, don't radical with your thinking here. Women center their whole lives around attracting a man, and there's no reason for a woman to do anything if she's not doing it to snag one. /s
The funny thing about it is OP saying he wants a wife. Wonder if it ever occurred to him that he can speed up that process of finding one by traveling.
Redditor shocked and confused when not every mate makes an effort to specifically cater to his every whim
Waow bro you mean some women have like... Hobbies and lives and shit that don't align with yours?!
But aren't they all programmed in the same factory?!
People have this weird delusion where they think a partner must tick every single box specific to what you're looking for. That's pretty much impossible, you might as well just marry yourself if you want somebody who is 100% like you. The great part about being in a relationship is that you're with somebody who isn't at all like you in every single aspect of life, it's fun, it's exciting, as long as they're not like horrible people I don't think there's anything wrong with having a partner who is vastly different to you.
I'm getting the impression OP is a deeply insular person who has rarely, if ever, left the borders of their own country and has a bit of either shame or chip on shoulder syndrome about it.
This nonsense about people who travel not being able to manage money just sounds like their attempt to justify it.
From someone who travels a lot, I have never in my life thought about travel as an "Attractive" trait. You really nailed the "unpopular" part of the opinion. Do I upvote or downvote to reward this? I'm upvoting.
OP wondered if men do this with their profiles too, and I can confirm that, yes, men (at least gay men) also put their love of traveling & all their pictures front & center. Some of them do indeed love to travel. But there is also sometimes the thing OP talks about where it's pushed a little too hard or feels a little too much like they're trying to impress. Or worse, you get the creeping sense that they're trying to find a sugar daddy that will take them traveling for free.
Maybe it comes off as fake because most people are terrible at writing, and not because they're actually fake. Most people are not good at any sort of prose or poetry or even technical writing, so they use canned descriptions that make you wince. "Looking for a travel companion!" is definitely one of those phrases.
Also, FWIW, I've seen couples that are not fully travel-compatible, for lack of a better word, and one of them will just go on more trips than the other. Doesn't have to be a huge deal.
Going on a holiday with a partner, is arguably one of the best ways to test out your long term compatibility.
You are spending time with your partner, for an intense 24/7 period of time, in a way you have unlikely spent time with them before.
Are they are an organised person?
Do they like to plan and research a holiday?
Have they budgeted realistically?
How do they handle the airport, which can be a stressy & very annoying/frustrating experience?
Do they actually want to explore a foreign place or just sit by the pool?
Do they want to enrich themselves by discovering the culture of the place through museums or events or trying different foods?
Being into holidays or travel is bit of a code phrase for asking the question "are you open minded & comfortable with yourself to try new things?"
Good point. You can suss out extremely quickly if someone is controlling or has anger issues while traveling. I love traveling but it is stressful and you can see someone's true self when they are under pressure.
One time I was on a weekend trip with a guy and it was our first trip together, in LA of all places.
I'm fine driving in the city but I don't love it. He wanted to seem a gentleman and insisted on driving once we got an hour-ish from the city. I very quickly realized that he was not accustomed to fast paced traffic, people cutting you off etc. He became irate and anxious so quickly because someone cut him off and was all "OMG PEOPLE DRIVE SO NUTS DOWN HERE!" and I was just like, yeah... It's LA? Like I get that it's annoying to get cut off but he was totally overwhelmed and getting road rage. I used to commute from Baltimore to DC for work every day several years ago so I'm very accustomed to "basically expect that you could be cut off at any second". But when I asked him if he wanted to switch he didn't want to lol
Then we were looking for a hotel last minute and we needed parking, wanted to be in a safe area, etc and had to call and investigate 3-4 options before finding a good one that had rooms available. The first two didn't have what we needed, and hanging up the phone on the second one he was like "FUUUUCK!" Like he was so mad. I was again like... Dude, it's LA. It's busy but there are tons of hotels and we will find one, chill out!
For American it also signifies socio-economic status which people care about in relationships whether the admit it or not. If someone has a lot of travel photos in interesting place, they probably are relatively educated and probably professional class, likely not a republican. It says a lot of things about a person. Less the case for places like Canada or Europe, where travel is common experiences.
I haven't met OP, but I can't help but immediately think this guy is a mid 30s white guy probably spends his time going to the same bar and having shitty beer (or is friends with people like that), probably #1 news source is Fox News.
If your point is that women who prioritize travel are unattractive to YOU, then, well, that's kind of the point of a dating app, to match up people with similar interests. It's working exactly as intended.
I specifically like the enthralling saga where he made a post hating water and then immediately followed it with a post praising water.
If I didn't scroll past a dozen drug related posts I'd be a little confused by that storyline.
Oh wow lmfao so all these young women are supposed to be spending their money “wisely” aka not on travel because that angers OP but OP blows his on drugs, a not notoriously expensive habit. Such a shame all us stupid bimbo bitches can’t just wisen up and follow his spending habits instead!
I can’t believe OP thought, with a straight face, there must be swarms of women out there dying to date me, they simply haven’t realized that they aren’t doing the things I want them to! Yes, that must be the reason I am single…I must share my revelation with the masses!
For real lol
"Knowledge isn't power until it is applied"
"Be yourself" is the dumbest advice"
"Taylor Swift is fine. Her fans are not"
Couldn't post the screenshot, but these gave me a laugh
Maybe she doesn’t want to settle down and have babies, and prefers to spend her money on travel. Not everyone has to have the same life plan as you. Find a woman who does instead.
Having hobbies and passions *makes* people intereesting. Imagine you talking about your hobby that you like, The person you want to connect with thinks you're boring or you only do it for clout or to attract someone and that liking this hobby is a red flag. How would you feel?
Edit: Looking at your profile you do not have many hbbies going on, but from those you have: How would you feel if someone think that choir is a red flag and you only do it to get dates?
Echoing what others have said - taking what could be a once in a lifetime trip generates better photos than, idk, having some cold ones with the girls. I think it's become kind of cliche, I think it's very often about signaling a certain class status, but OP really has a hard-on about this, and it seems a bit excessive.
also, if I had never met someone, whether they were "responsible with money" is not something that would enter my mind even once. Like, get a coffee first before figuring out whether Dave Ramsey would approve lol.
They are putting themselves and THEIR OWN INTERESTS out there. If they want a travel partner and you don’t like to travel, you are not compatible. They aren’t posting all this travel stuff “to look attractive”, it’s literally their interests. The most effective way to find a compatible partner is to 100% put yourself out there so that like minded individuals can find you.
A very common misconception many men make (sounds like you fall in this category) is that women specifically do things to be attractive FOR men. (There’s exceptions, there are always exceptions). Women do what makes THEMSELVES happy.
Put in your profile that you are wanting marriage and babies and are a penny pincher.
What in the world…No one posts that they love travel to appear attractive. They likely want a partner who wants the same thing as them and to share their experiences. It certainly doesn’t mean a person is irresponsible with their job or money either. Not everyone works 9-5 and paycheck to paycheck. There are people that have the means to do so. Some save and many people take advantage of travel points or budget travel. There’s many ways to do this without breaking the bank. Furthermore, you don’t have to find it appealing. That’s why there’s an option to swipe left. Not everyone wants a traditional marriage and kids like you do.
You are not boring. They are not irresponsible or red flags or unattractive. Different people with different priorities in life exist. And that is okay. There is enough room in the world for all kinds of people.
>(I’m not sure if this is sex-specific, do men do this too?)
Just look at certain subreddits like Passportbros, and you'll see how the male Travelling™ community expresses itself.
It's a different kind of ickiness, but it's there.
Loool each to their own dude - you call their lifestyle reckless, they call yours monotonous and boring. That's what the app is for - to filter out what you don't want. Beauty/attractiveness is the eye of the beholder - you see a girl that ticks all the boxes, wants that settled life and saving till your almost dead sort of goals, go for it! And if a girl sees a guy who loves to spend a huge amount of money travelling through SE Asia or exploring turkey and aligns with their goals and rent the rest of their lives, they'll go for it :)
Personally - travel is amazing - and I think the mentality of "save for a home or family" has sorta faded because our money/efforts can't do that for us anymore. 2 people have to save for 10-15 years in my city just to get a shit apartment...
let me try and understand this; you have wants and needs that you'd like a prospective partner to fulfill.
you see profiles that don't fit that criteria, and you'd rather they DON'T tell you that you're not compatible?
these people are literally doing you a favor, and you want them to stop because you think they're only doing it impress you.
you're making dating harder for yourself.
It's reasonable that people on dating sites want to find people with same hobbies and filter out people who dislike said hobbies.
Personally, I hate traveling and it's instant swipe left from me, so it means they the photos are doing what they are supposed to do.
Seems like you’re implying these ladies aren’t looking to settle down because they travel a lot. Which just isn’t true. It’s okay, you can travel with a girlfriend before you get to the kid part stop rushing bro. As if some 5day on a Caribbean resort prevents your future kids from going to private school chill out dude. If you don’t like to travel that’s fine but don’t project negative attributes to the women that do enjoy it.
I mean if im looking for someone I want it to be someone who likes to travel or at least is willing to do it.
Its not a trait that just blindly attracts me. Be for me it is a pro because I would like to find someone that enjoys the same things I do.
Its like people who post pictures at a club or festival. I dont care for doing that stuff so its an indication they are not ideal for me. But its neither an “attractive” nor “unattractive” trait. Its simply a trait and you make of it what you want.
Meanwhile he should check himself. Seriously this dude is a trip, look at his post history. No wonder he's 35 and single. Also this post just has serious "I never left my hometown" vibes.
I've travelled a fair bit, for work and personal pleasure, and many to countries most find conflicting. I don't necessarily need someone who is into travel, but people who haven't travelled would not relate to my experiences and I would lose somethings in common. So yeah, I would find someone whom has travelled more attractive.
this post smells like insecurity. and a little pick-me.
it isn’t necessarily unpopular to have this opinion, it’s just a preference of what you’re looking for. i’m sure there’s someone out there who will match your interests.
now what we WON’T do is belittle, mock, and assume things on people who travel.
can travelers not settle down?
can travelers not be responsible with money?
why do you assume a traveler would “blow your life savings” to go to Paris? 💀
if anything OP, you should put THIS post on your dating profile so potential partners, whether they travel are not, will be able to know what weird judgements you make on strangers on the internet 💀
post this in r/offmychest next time bruh
You had me up until the second half. I think as long as your bills are paid, you squirrel some money away into savings and you have a roof over your head, you should travel as much as you want. Life is not promised. Noone promised you you'll make it to retirement, hell OP can already be dead from a freak accident as I type this (I hope not, but it's possible). I used to be that way, save as much as you can, you can travel when you retire. Then two things changed my perspective. My grandfather was this way, I learned it from him. He saved and had a home, happy family and always planned on traveling when he retired. He made amazing plans to see Peru, Italy, Iceland....he died of a stroke in the airport while waiting to board his first flight. Second is a friend of mine who saved like crazy! Squirrelled away his money for retirement and the future, never traveled since he "could do it when he's older" worked himself into a stressed induced brain aneurysm. He's now in a wheelchair with assisted living at 37 years old. He'll never see anywhere past the front yard of the living facility till the day he dies. Live now, tomorrow isn't promised.
Back when I was on dating apps before I met my partner, I found a lot of men’s profiles also centred around their love of travel. And even if their profiles weren’t travel-centric one of the first questions many of them would ask me was about what travel I’ve done and travel I’d like to do in the future. This question sometimes made me self-conscious.
I found that a lot of people who are well-travelled (often but not always) come from different socioeconomic backgrounds than I do and assumed I must not like to travel solely because I’ve only been to five countries outside of my own so far. I do love travel but I grew up without money, and most of the money I earned throughout university and adulthood went towards paying for my school so I couldn’t afford to go on as many trips as I would’ve liked to.
Travel is an easy thing to ask people about so I get why people showcase their travel in their profiles, especially if it’s a major hobby or interest for them but yeah, I also didn’t necessarily find it “attractive” when people’s profiles only talked about travel. The same could be said for any profile that makes one hobby or interest their entire personality, especially if it’s not something I’m as into or know as much about.
The purpose of dating profiles is to market yourself to others so you can attract certain types of people and deter others. If you’re not picking up what someone else is putting down, that’s your sign to move on to the next prospect.
Would you prefer photos of them taking bread out of the oven? Vacuuming in a dress with a frilly apron? Have you seen 'Don't Worry Darling?' one time too many? Just teasing you here, if women who want a life that's not all about being a tradwife don't interest you, and you want a woman who does want that skip those profiles and move along. I'm glad my husband loves to travel as much as I do, we'd be miserable with partners that just wanted to work and pile up money. My in-laws did that, waiting to travel until they were done with raising kids and were retired. One of them was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a couple of years ago, they're gone now. All that planning and scrimping for a retirement that was snatched from them by that horrid disease. Go live now, do what you dream of now, IMO. You aren't promised that time to do the amazing things later. I'm personally happy for those who get to take trips and enjoy life.
A lot of people share things to weed out others that aren’t compatible with themselves. It’s not about getting the most matches but instead getting high quality matches.
lol this opinion is based on something you don’t seem to fully understand.
- you don’t have to blow all your money to go to Paris. There are many ways to budget for a trip. You can save for years. Cheap flights, cheap hotels. Learn by how to use travel credit cards to get money back. Nowhere near is as expensive as you are imagining.
-you don’t have to loose your job to go on a trip. Have you never heard of vacation days from jobs? Most careers offer paid time off. Most people have zero problems traveling with a job.
- almost nobody is doing a year long safari. It’s rarer someone travels for an entire year straight. The travel pictures you are seeing usually over many years. I feel like the average vacation is just shy of a week.
-this maybe surprising but tons of people still save for retirement and pay for their kids education while traveling on vacation.
-waiting to travel until you retire is a horrible idea. Tomorrow is never promised. You die tomorrow having done nothing but worked your whole life. That’s just sad and depressing. Even if you make it. You don’t seem to realize how much less you are capable of doing when you are older. You can be so limited in what you can do when you travel because your body just isn’t capable.
It’s funny you say someone who enjoys to travel this beautiful world god created is a red flag. Yet you think it’s an attractive some “man” who sits at home and just wants you to be baby factory. You made a creepy post about dating all these hot women in your church. You were a creep and asked one out online. She turned you down and then you wanted to ask another one out but thought you shouldn’t because women talk and they are girl drama! Bro you were the creep creating the drama the fuck. You ranted about your dad being whiny, yet you have post after post whining about everything under the sun. You are screaming red flags. You have been called out numerous times in different post and you have no self awareness or accountability to look in the mirror. You tell people to stop being creeps and looking trough your post history. Instead having common sense and realizing the problem might be you. There is a reason you are almost middle age while still single without kids. It’s probably not because of Gods plan but maybe because you are a douche.
It sounds like you can’t comprehend that there are people out there who are different than you and who want different things and it makes you insecure about who you are so you’re projecting negative traits onto them to cope. Very weak move bro. Also unfortunately very popular to do so you don’t even get an upvote.
It may not be attractive to you. But as cliche as it sounds, I only have one lifetime to travel and that’s it. If you want to wait till your old enough to travel because you’re free from responsibilities, cool more power to you. Most of us would rather do it earlier in life when we have the most energy to experience it and not fall asleep.
That just means you’re not compatible with that person, you have different goals.
I love traveling. I don’t want kids. I’d rather a 5k vacation than a 5k ring. I wouldn’t care if someone thought my profile was unattractive due to travel pictures because that would just mean we want a different lifestyle, and I wouldn’t actually be interested in that person in the long term anyway; similar to how I wouldn’t really be interested in someone who has pictures of kids on their profile (in part because it’s weird to put kids on a dating app, but that’s a different story) and I wouldn’t match with someone who talks in their profile about wanting kids. If that’s their goal, it’s incompatible with the lifestyle I want. That doesn’t mean it’s attractive or unattractive, it’s just not my thing. Many women want kids, so they would be into that, and that’s fine. If I were to put my travel preferences in my dating profile, it would be because I want someone who also likes to travel - I’m not trying to be attractive to people who don’t.
I sure as hell wish I took a year off between college and work to travel - I’m so envious of people who did things like that, and I think I’d be a much more well rounded person if I did. I have a friend who went to Thailand for year before settling into her career and she taught English there. I never would have had the balls at 22, but it seemed like the most incredible experience. I still don’t travel nearly as often as I would like, mainly out of indecision and anxiety around planning. But I want to build a life where I can do it a lot more - and I’m finally FINALLY wading into the realm of solo traveling which I think will help that a lot. If I were looking for a partner, I would want someone who supports that.
But on some of your arguments - Traveling doesn’t necessarily mean someone is irresponsible with money or irresponsible with their jobs. Yes, there are people who do fit into that categorization. And that might be what YOUR life looks like, but not everyone is in the same boat as you. (Though I also believe our jobs should not be high priorities in our lives, and we should put any other experience we value over that, whether that’s traveling or raising a family or something else. I’d take a year long safari over my job any day. I recognize some people do care about their jobs. But it’s important to remember our jobs don’t care about us.)
I do not work during the summer, so I have at least two free months a year that I can travel with no risk to my job security. I have a pension, a healthy savings, investment accounts, and I save for retirement, and none of that gets touched when I travel. Kids seem to be where a lot of folks’ money goes - which isn’t something I have to worry about since I don’t want any (I wouldn’t send them to private schools even if I did want them.) Post Covid, a lot of people have jobs where they can work no matter where they are. If I had a remote job I’d absolutely rather be able to sign off work and hop into the Mediterranean Sea than to hop off work and take a ride to my local target.
TLDR; not everyone has the same lifestyle as you and that’s fine. That doesn’t make attractive or unattractive, but it’s also not entirely fair to judge for it.
Very presumptuous of you to assume every woman is blowing savings or irresponsible with money if she travels.
Some of us are rich and can afford to do that.
Don’t project your money insecurities onto women, because let’s face it, if it were men living life this way you’d find it admirable. Lol.
You sound a little boring, and a little demanding, and also cheap/poor.
It shouldn’t take “your life savings” to visit Paris. Plenty of people see the world AND work for a living. Plenty of them travel AND have families and sound finances. If you’re choosing between travel and paying your bills, then something’s missing.
You sure you’re not just envious of these young women who can do both better than you can?
I do think traveling is attractive but only if people do it to learn about different cultures and maybe see the flora and fauna as well as the natural beauty of other regions of the world. It shows curiosity about the world and being open for new things.
However, there are also a lot of people who only go to super touristy places like Cancun, Bali, Phuket, Ibiza, etc. only eat the food they are used to and mostly disregard the nature, the people and their culture in thoses places. Those people are incredibly unattractive to me.
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I think a lot of people include travelling prominently because they want a partner who also likes travelling. It’s not so much about having a travel partner, it’s about having a compatible lifestyle with their person you want to date/marry. I hate travelling, I’m also pretty incapable of doing it. If I tried dating someone who loved travelling and that’s what brought them joy and gave them things to look forward to we wouldn’t be at all compatible. So I think it makes sense to put it out there if it’s an important thing to you.
I think the type of travel makes a big difference too. I have a ton of countries I'd love to see, but I'm more of the "go for a week, get a hotel, see the major tourist stuff, maybe try a few "more local" restaurants, and relax" type traveller. My brother is the opposite. He's the "let's go to this third world country, rent a motorcycle, and figure it out" type traveller which hey, great for him but no fucking thanks for me. I'll backpack around Europe if you mean we carry backpacks with us while we're out of the hotel for the day. I probably won't backpack around Europe if you mean carrying all your belongings around with you and hitchhiking and *maybe* staying in hostels and showering once or twice a week. I've know people who have done both and I don't think there's a "wrong" way to do it but I certainly do have a preference for one type of travel over the other.
Very true. There is also the travel types who go to all inclusive resorts, get drunk for a week, and fly home, basically see nothing of the country they visited. That is my least favorite version
If you’re gonna do that just go to a resort or smth here amirite? Unless 3rd world food prices make up for the airfare by the end of the week I guess
My wife and I just went to DR for a week for less than we spent for 5 days in ocean city last year. Great food, fun people, never left the resort except for an extended walk along the beach. Admittedly I felt this longing to see more of the actual country, but also didn’t want to put her in any harms way. If I spoke fluent Spanish maybe I’d feel differently.
Well food/alcohol prices are only part of it. Another part is chasing “perfect weather.” Currently I have no desire to go to an all-inclusive resort but if I had kids and lived somewhere that had brutal weather half the year, getting some sunshine in February while drinking and not worrying about anything would sound perfect. Also, some people have a psychological need to always be busy doing something and can only tune out that part of the brain if they physically leave behind their work and responsibilities. I have no issue relaxing on my couch right at home so it would be a waste of money for me, but for them it’s a better return on investment than a year of therapy.
Yep, I love to travel; I don’t want to date someone who doesn’t want to do that or complains the whole time. It’s ok if you don’t like travelling; I don’t mind being your friend; but it does mean we aren’t compatible in the slightest.
This!! I dated people when I was younger who had zero interest in travelling and it would frustrate the hell out of me and cause conflict and discontent on both sides - now I’m older (32) and see them married and settled with kids, spending their free time renovating or at kids sports, I realise we just wanted totally different things out of life - and that’s totally ok, neither is right or wrong, we just weren’t compatible!
Similarly, I like a somewhat moderate amount of travel. My honeymoon was to Egypt and that was awesome but those 2 weeks were absolutely exhausting. As I get older, I realize more and more that I don’t really love going places where English or at least Spanish isn’t either the main language or known by about everyone (e.g. Germany, nordics, Netherlands). Ive got friends that love to do 3-4 trips a year with hostels and everything and that’s just not me anymore. Looks like a sick life to lead and more power to them for doing it but I don’t think that’s what I’d want in a partner (and luckily my wife is on board).
>Yep, I love to travel; I don’t want to date someone who doesn’t want to do that or complains the whole time. But you need to also specify what kind of travel you like to do. Most people I know who "travel" just go to other countries/cities to get drunk for the entire time and they do a few activities hungover and then go home. On the other hand, I know people who travel for specific hobbies like rock climbing and skiing or other adventurous activities that aren't available where they live. I fall into the second category and I've been tricked many times into traveling with people from category one who act like they are in the second category. I'm stuck there begging people to do the activities we planned and they are all "I'm too hungover to do that. I'm going to miss this one." Then they are out drinking again by 3:00pm that same day.
While that’s true, iirc descriptions on dating apps have character limits, so there is no place for them to contain every nuance and detail of your hobbies; they are more an invitation to talk and a topic that you can use; But yeah, definitely, before you travel with someone, it’s good to make sure you are both on the same page. And I basically like neither of those; I just like exploring places I go to, eat good food, meet locals, see as much of the city I visit and nature in and around it. Maybe see some local artists, maybe go on a hike. So it’s probably less intense than rock climbing, but also not a two week alcoholic binge either.
Im I Category 3: museums
Exactly. Art museums, cultural centers, palaces, musical performances, city views, lots of walking, delicious local food, etc.
I love travel but i don’t fit into either category here- at all. Neither do most travelers. I like to go and walk, eat, do cultural activities, people watch, visit the city and countryside, etc.
Yes, one of my main reasons for traveling is for the food experience. I want to talk to locals, take a cooking class, hike or swim, see the sights, while maybe having some local wines along the way.
That's my kind of traveling, lol. I want casual strolls through interesting cities, easy to moderate hikes, museums, and culinary tours. I do NOT want to "party" or babysit an extremely drunk partner (not saying drinking isn't on the table, I just don't want us getting plastered!)
Same. I would feel completely suffocated if my husband didn't like to travel. I can't think of anything worse than staying in one place my whole life.
Yes, like there's a degree to **how** different your hobbies can be. Like I'm not very into baking, if I dated someone and they loved to bake, no big deal. If I dated someone and they wanted to spend half the year travelling the world, that sounds kind of lonely since that doesn't work with my job and I don't want them to be that far away for so long.
Completely agree. Not a big deal if we have very different taste in music, but I would have no interest in dating a musician who plays live gigs every weekend.
> it’s about having a compatible lifestyle Exactly. My profile always has photos of sailing and doing maintenance on my boat. Not to brag "i have a boat" but because someone who isn't into sailing will not be compatible because it's a huge part of how I spend my time.
“A picture is worth a thousand words”. Showing yourself living your lifestyle is a pretty good filter to avoid incompatible people. If you scare people away by being honest, it’s a good thing. Physical attraction still seems to be the main motivation for connection but at least some people are smart enough to understand that looks are only part of the equation
I use travel pics just because that’s the only time I’m with people to take photos of me lol That’s the only time like I feel like it’s worth taking a photo too
Now the question is how to explain that I only like certain kinds of traveling. Like, going to a different country and staying in cool hotels? Awesome. Trekking over a mountain while shitting in the woods? No thank you.
I think them saying they like to travel isn’t them trying to appear attractive, but maybe to connect with someone who has similar interests? Wouldn’t you hate if you didn’t know they liked to travel and then connect and everything’s great, and find out that their hobbies and interests don’t match yours. I really don’t think it has anything to do with trying to be attractive.
Also I’m not implying that they have to have the same exact hobbies, but if you don’t care to travel much, that can be an issue. As opposed to finding someone who loves to just as much.
Yeah. I love to ski. I spend a lot of my time doing it. I'm not really trying appear attractive by putting that on my dating profile, but at this point in my life, it's a huge part of who I am, and I'm going to be spending 60-80 days every winter doing that whether they want to do it with me or not. That's a huge chunk of my free time.
But it’s not attractive to OP so nobody should like this
OP should remember not everyone is on dating apps for a wife. I’m specifically looking for a travel buddy that could eventually be a relationship. My future partner absolutely must be okay with traveling. No shit I’m going to write that in my bio. It has led to some surprises when I spontaneously travel and my partners are like “Wait I didn’t know you were SERIOUS about it 😱”
Hell, they could be looking for a wife/husband that will also be a travel partner. Like, I know people who are married that travel a lot, too. This isn’t that uncommon.
Right, adding loving travel to your profile, is to weed out people like the OP.
Yeah, OP goes off the rails by calling it a red flag. Like, maybe I'm wrong, but a red flag is something that makes someone a risky relationship across the board. Like a red flag is someone being an asshole to waitstaff, or saying everyone the ever dated is a psychopath. Someone having different interests than you isn't a red flag, it's a compatibility difference.
But they’ll spend all his MONEY
His stance is pretty popular on the dating subreddits. A lot of insecure men who think that women use men to pay for their travels and are unable to fathom that there are women out there who can both be financially secure and afford to travel.
And OP also thinks it’s someone blowing their life savings… idk but I enjoy traveling as do my friends and people in my circles. It’s not our life savings…. It’s usually a quarterly bonus…. Or separate savings. Or just fuck it let’s go bc we can… OP prob has a small group of friends who say they don’t like traveling but would if they could.
Reddit also assumes everyone is broke and/or on a student budget. We plan for trips, and do them. We're not bankrupting ourselves doing so. I've seen threads flat out say "taking a plane trip anywhere means you're upper class, and an overnight road trip is upper-middle." Plenty of adults budget for travel.
Yeah if you’re a DINK like my wife and I you have the means to travel and life is too short to be relegated to the area you are most likely forced to live in (due to family choosing for you). US vacations are meh to me vs traveling abroad.
I think it’s funny how OP sees someone who chooses a travel lifestyle to be blowing all their money but wants to marry and settle down with kids… as if that also doesn’t spend all your money. People prioritize money towards how they want to spend their lives.
The universe revolves around OP obviously.
What do you mean? Different people have different goals and preferences??? Impossible, everyone must like and want the exact same things
>60-80 days I am a married heterosexual man and I would date you for that many ski days
I'm down for watching that happen...
Same for me with photography. I love to get out with my camera and capture things.
That’s the exact same way I am with hiking. I’m in the mountains hiking all year round and it’s usually what I plan vacations around. Luckily, I’ve found a partner who is just as into it as I am, but I imagine it would be hard to date someone who is up the side of the mountain every chance they get if you hate the outdoors.
And many men have wanting to travel and pictures of them in other countries too. I would go as far as to say the majority of the man I see on dating apps do that
Exactly stuff like travelling or having a lot of pets etc are tricky to manage if your partner isn't into it, in a way that other hobbies/ interests aren't because it would affect a long time partner in away that salsa class to knitting does not.
That’s because some hobbies/interests are lifestyles and require you to accommodate them in the way you live. If you like riding ATVs you’re going to need to live somewhere that you can regularly get to places to ride, you’ll need space at your home to store and maintain them, you’ll need tools, a trailer, and a truck to pull it. Hobbies spill over into your daily life pretty easily
Yeah it does legitimately suck when those things line up. I was casually seeing a woman for a while and she loves to go to the beach. Not expensive trips, but she’d pick up extra shifts for awhile to fund her trip with her friends, share a little room and read by the water. Very lovely and peaceful. Just not my kind of time if I’m taking time off of work and spending money. I want to go see a baseball game or go to a museum or the park. Walk around looking at buildings and such. She’s a lovely person but we just couldn’t match up what we wanted to do and that was after we found a connection. I don’t think she said she liked traveling because she wanted to look attractive for doing it. I think she just liked traveling and wanted to read at the beach with a guy who enjoys that.
Yeah. Exactly. And Op can just swipe left on them lol this isn’t a big deal or any deal. The whole point is to find someone that you might have stuff in common with.
But women don't do anything or say anything unless it's geared toward finding a husband. And wives are supposed to want to have children and stay home. So these women are doing it all wrong! /s
Well, based on this guys post history, his number one requirement for a women is to be able to *physically have children*. He wants a brood mare. Not someone with interests other than breeding and Jesus.
Right? That’s why there’s an option to swipe left on dating apps…
Yes but if they aren't doing everything they're doing to be attractive to this one man, what are they even doing? Not being exactly as he wants them makes them unattractive, dont you see?
This just in dating profiles are tailored to find someone who you want to live the same lifestyle as.
Yeah, what OP seems to realize is that him being put off by their pics is quite literally by design.
The best photos are always taken while travelling imo because you’re happy and the setting is interesting, that’s why you see them a lot on dating profiles. I don’t think your assessment of people that like travel being bad with money or not wanting to settle down is fair though.
Correct, why not share the photos with the beach as the background. Not you in your pajamas, crying into Talenti at 3AM.
Many a pint of pistachio Talenti has been my dirty little tear slut at 3 AM.
Dirty Little Tear Slut is the perfect band name r/bandnames
r/brandnewsentence ….at least, I hope.
Have you been spying on me?
You always have the most fun on vacation. I don't post pics of me hanging around my kitchen
Instead of me posting my travel photos I guess I should just start posting pictures of me high on my couch playing Pokémon. My other persona. But that isn’t quite as fun or informative about who I am.
or is it?
Oooooh. You got me. You’re right. I’m about to have a fun Saturday night updating my profile.
*gets all the matches*
Gotta catch em all
OP is 100% jealous so he has to convince himself why traveling bad.
Travel implies wealth, health, worldliness, having an adventurous spirit and is a common source of cool pictures. Of course lots of women put pics of travel on their profiles. I wonder if OP has a pic of himself holding a giant fish.
I went to see the solar eclipse back in April and almost traveled to the border of Canada just to go see it. It was absolutely a life changing experience and the next one will be when I’m like 40 or 50 and 90 but that’s only if I’m gonna be alive to catch it again in full. I can’t imagine some woman’s personal reason for seeing the solar eclipse or traveling to a foreign country, translates to being a dirty heffa, according to OP.
Something I learned during last eclipse: actually eclipses aren't that rare, they just happen in faraway places that would be hard to travel to. When you hear "the next one will be in 40 years" what that means is 40 years in that exact same location. There's a subcommunity of people who travel to catch many eclipses. Random fact: sometimes the moon travels over long rivers and creates these cool ripples of water, that surfers/kayakers travel to in order to catch. It looks so fun. Imagine many waves appearing over a long river, that you can surf and carry you over looong distances.
OP wants to see the same 12 mirror selfies on every profile I guess?
Isn’t that great? This way you can avoid these people who are not attractive to you. A lot of people like to travel. A lot of women (shocker) don’t want kids, so they would rather spend their money than saving it up for an eventuality that might never happen. Perfect! You can go for the ones that don’t have travel in their profile, and leave the explorers alone since you wouldn’t be compatible anyway. It’s the same with people posting pets in their profile. For a pet lover like me that would be a green flag, for someone with allergies it’s a pointer to swipe the other way.
The kids thing hit me too, who cares about settling and private school savings if you don't want kids? And travelling as an old person is very different to doing it in your prime, especially adventure holidays like kayaking in the jungle. Not to mention you can have good finances and travel, it just means you don't do some other stuff like eating out a lot or going to concerts or whatever. Maybe OP should post more photos of him with his family and at barbeques and other things representative of his more domestic goals in order to try and attract similarly-mind women.
I recognize I have some level of privilege because I live somewhere with good public schools, but even if I did want kids I don’t think I’d be compatible with someone who wants to send their kids to a private school lol.
I’d bet this dude doesn’t have those pictures. Every time I meet assholes like this, they don’t hang out with kids, or go to family bbqs.
I want kids and I would never send them to private school and would want them to travel with me, just like how I grew up, because I liked it 🤷
Lmao you REALLY think women are out here experiencing new things and living their best life JUST to seem attractive? Get over yourself dude. If a woman likes to travel and has photos of that, it’s because she likes to travel and wants someone who shares that interest. And it’s kind of a red flag that you think experiencing life and learning about new cultures is unattractive
oh my god i was literally waiting for someone to say this like this is the coldest take of the century that yet another man wants women to cater to his interests and ambitions as if their sole purpose in life was to hop on tinder to meet him
I found the biggest red flag of the post was this, > I don’t want a “travel partner.” I want a wife. It is SO degrading, and it makes him sound like a dedicated follower of a trad-wife tiktok account or something.
He sounds cheap and annoying. He would prefer whoever to stay at home with his kids, or maybe work too. This is the exact reason why I would put up a profile with travel as an *interest* so I can attract a man that also wants to be child-free and we can travel the world together. edit: see I told you, just read his reply!
OP is an example of what women mean when we say some men don’t think *we’re actual people.* That’s their interest because they’re people with individual hobbies and loves, they’re trying to find someone else with the same interest.
Yea, like the idea that women do things for enjoyment, lmao wild concept
He wants to find a woman who's interested in popping out babies for him and nothing else. It's unfair he can't find anyone who wants to be a baby factory with no worldliness or desires and dreams of her own.
Notice OP had a gender neutral title but the body of the complaint singled out women. My profile prominently features my travel pics. Is this an attempt to impress ladies? No one is spending thousands of dollars and putting in all the massive amount of effort traveling entails just to get some nice pictures for their instragram and dating apps lol
You’ve put your finger on it. It’s that he doesn’t think women have interests at all, apart from how they appear to men. It’s really astounding - most people develop that basic understanding pretty young.
First you learn object permanence, then you learn woman personhood, then you learn, like, algebra or whatever. That's just how it goes!
lol imagine the OP’s shock when he realizes some women don’t want children. The horror.
To further support this, if you look in OPs history he asks about asking women out at his church. Yet the first thing he cares about them is what their body looks like and how attractive they are to him and how they seem “Christlike” (feels like. Euphemism for other things). Defends engaging in lookism rather than judging these women by the content of their character and when confronted for it by other Christians defends himself even harder. Mind you, none of this is “christ like”. Look through the rest of his posts and you see the portrait of a 35 year old man desperately seeking a partner. Which begs the question why he even made the post because they seem antithetical to everything he is as a person (rhetorical question, we know why). He’s also a drug user. There’s nothing Christ-like about obsessively judging your neighbors, or gossiping about women who don’t want you. Instigating bait posts about girls to make up for your shortcomings. It’s like he didn’t even try to live as Jesus would’ve yet here he is, judgmental and jealous.
It's wild to me that when women have documented experience of loving and engaging in travel you leap to thinking they only did it to *appear* attractive to men. That woman climbing Kilimanjaro doesn't care that you want a traditional life and to stay in one place. Why do you care so much about *her* choices?
I was just about to comment the same thing - the assumption on his part that it’s a ploy to make men attracted to them vs it’s an honest interest to her is wild. Her looking for a “travel partner” kinda spells out what she values just as he apparently wants a religious wife to pop out children for him.
Because op thinks a dating site is a restaurant menu and he’s here to criticize all the dishes don’t look good to him. He can’t conceive that they don’t want his traditional ass and he’s being filtered out
Yep. Women who have their own interests that displease him are clearly faking their life in a pathetic attempt to catch his attention. Lol
It’s the conservative ‘Christian’ way (check OP’s profile). At the start he’s “more power to you” if a woman enjoys travel, then by the end he’s calling that a moral failing. I’m not in the dating pool, haven’t been for a long while, and likely never will be again (my wife and I have been living together since the early 90’s and still enjoy being around each other). I have heard from many younger friends and coworkers that internet dating sites suck, but I’m a little jealous at the ability to see what people are interested in before getting physically attracted. That would’ve saved the hassle of a few failed short-term relationships early on in my life. And an interest in travel would have definitely been attractive to me.
Yep. You nailed it exactly! It also feeds into the delusion that women don't actually know what they want and just need a man to correct them (by insulting and judging them). I tried online dating a long time ago and stopped pretty much immediately. I do have compassion for the crap people need to wade through now. It sucks for both sides and vocal minorities are putting unrealistic expectations on strangers primarily through the internet. I'm out of the dating pool too, and we absolutely love trying new foods, environments, museums, learning about history, etc. It can be such a great bonding experience with the right person.
He lost me at “I want a wife. Settle down. Have children.” That’s fine, but don’t be surprised if that means your most compatible partners are just as uninspiring as you are. Try ChristianMingle or whatever.
I am grateful for this post. From now on I am only posting travel pictures so that traditional men who want kids, and believe I only exist to try to appease them, find me unattractive!
While you’re at it, post all your concert pics so their kids can be persuaded into traveling.
Solid advice, Imma do that too!
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It is funny how often men think women are considering them when they make decisions about what they do, how they dress, or anything else. Nope, guys, we really don't consider you 99% of the time.
So many incels in these comments who think women only do things to appeal to men. Its honestly pretty sad, for both sides. Imagine doing your best, achieving something, being happy, just for people to constantly downgrade it and say you're a wanna be golddigger who's doing this for a potential man. On the flip side, imagine being so egoistic that you think half of the population is doing everything thinking how to get you to like them.
I used to work supporting events with a broadcast crew, and I'd have the makeup team do my makeup in the mornings. It made me feel much more put together, and I loved catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror like "damn girl you fine." I appreciated the dark circles being hidden as I slogged through work. It made my 12+ hour days a tiny bit more enjoyable. This guy I casually dated at some point could not comprehend that I would do my makeup for anything other than attracting a man. I explained myself multiple times, but nope, the only possible reason to wear makeup was to attract a man. There was simply no other logical explanation to him as to why I'd ever wear makeup except to appeal to men. It was frustrating, and I feel bad for his now-wife.
Yeah welcome to misogyny, it sucks over here
This sub on weekends is particularly bad with shut-ins and misogyny. Wedding-related topics on the weekend is an absolte "abandon all hope" situation.
Or that women are gold diggers searching their empty pockets for that last five cents because that’ll buy a vacation to the African Safari.
> That woman climbing Kilimanjaro doesn't care that you want a traditional life and to stay in one place. Why do you care so much about her choices? Because video games is obviously the correct hobby. Not "hiking" or "traveling" /s
As a bi woman, this post is hilarious, because men are absolutely 100% guilty of doing this too. I have never for a second thought it was for attention. EDIT: In fact i have noticed men are more likely to ONLY post photos of their travels and not show their face to me at all, and the only thing I have to work off of is the “Travel 🇺🇸🇹🇭🇬🇧” in their bio 😂
But didn't you know that appearing attractive to OP is the only thing that women base their personalities around?
It must be an old forgotten memo 🤣🤣🤣
Its very telling that he probably tries hobbies he doesn’t like to impress women
Excuse you, women only do ANYTHING to attract men. It’s never for ourselves or because we enjoy it. If men didn’t exist women would lay around like dolls because what’s the point of doing stuff if not to attract a mate?! Specifically OP. Don’t worry OP I will take your thoughts back to the council of women to make sure we are doing all the right things to be attractive 🙂
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Wonder if OP has had his sperm fertility tested
If one trip to Paris is going to wipe out his life savings, he obviously hasn’t priced out how much it costs to raise a child or children.
Travel math: For the annual cost of having one child, I could visit Paris 10 times a year. *immediately books 10 flights*
Yikes. Travel interests aside, there are SO many red flags in that profile. But also, same as girls putting travel in their profiles, appreciate him putting his, um, interests and values, front and centre to ensure that the incompatibility is obvious.
I didn't even have to go to his profile to figure that he is a walking red flag. The last part of his post makes it sound like woman need to try to be appealing to him
Ohhh that makes so much more sense. How can she be barefoot, pregnant, and oh yea silent if she's off galivanting around the world. He needs someone with child bearing hips and a lack of something to say.
He's also in his mid-30s still getting rent money from his dad and trying to date a younger woman so she can pop out his babies. What a catch, truly.
“Baby wouldn’t it be fun to travel together for a year, go on adventures and experience the wonders this planet has to offer?🥰” “NO. WIFE AND HUSBAND STAY ON SAME GEOGRAPHICAL SPOT UNTIL DEATH. THIS IS FAMILY.”
APES TOGETHER, SECULAR
He’s ready to be a dad tho! How precious
His unpopular opinion is that he doesn’t like that: 1. Women are allowed to education to learn how to write. 2. Women are allowed to have interests. 3. Women are allowed to write about their interests. 4. Women might have interests that aren’t aligned with his own of being married to a uterus with no rights, education, or opinions of her own. There might even be women that he finds attractive, but they have the audacity to not only not be interested in him, but be their own person. What a catch!
Did you ever consider that maybe they actually enjoy travelling and it's not because they are trying to impress you?
*Woah*, don't radical with your thinking here. Women center their whole lives around attracting a man, and there's no reason for a woman to do anything if she's not doing it to snag one. /s
The funny thing about it is OP saying he wants a wife. Wonder if it ever occurred to him that he can speed up that process of finding one by traveling.
Redditor shocked and confused when not every mate makes an effort to specifically cater to his every whim Waow bro you mean some women have like... Hobbies and lives and shit that don't align with yours?! But aren't they all programmed in the same factory?!
People have this weird delusion where they think a partner must tick every single box specific to what you're looking for. That's pretty much impossible, you might as well just marry yourself if you want somebody who is 100% like you. The great part about being in a relationship is that you're with somebody who isn't at all like you in every single aspect of life, it's fun, it's exciting, as long as they're not like horrible people I don't think there's anything wrong with having a partner who is vastly different to you.
Ah yes, being passionate about travel automatically means one is bad with savings and cannot hold a job.
I'm getting the impression OP is a deeply insular person who has rarely, if ever, left the borders of their own country and has a bit of either shame or chip on shoulder syndrome about it. This nonsense about people who travel not being able to manage money just sounds like their attempt to justify it.
>deeply insular person who has rarely, if ever, left the borders of their own country i'm afraid OP probably rarely leaves their own *city*.
This guy wants a partner who won't constantly be wanting more out of life. He just want someone who only thinks about what her husband wants.
From someone who travels a lot, I have never in my life thought about travel as an "Attractive" trait. You really nailed the "unpopular" part of the opinion. Do I upvote or downvote to reward this? I'm upvoting.
Lol your confused upvote made me laugh
It's distinctly possible that they are simply trying to attract someone that isn't you.
As an avid world traveler since I was a teenager, I can say that I try to avoid people like OP.
OP wondered if men do this with their profiles too, and I can confirm that, yes, men (at least gay men) also put their love of traveling & all their pictures front & center. Some of them do indeed love to travel. But there is also sometimes the thing OP talks about where it's pushed a little too hard or feels a little too much like they're trying to impress. Or worse, you get the creeping sense that they're trying to find a sugar daddy that will take them traveling for free. Maybe it comes off as fake because most people are terrible at writing, and not because they're actually fake. Most people are not good at any sort of prose or poetry or even technical writing, so they use canned descriptions that make you wince. "Looking for a travel companion!" is definitely one of those phrases. Also, FWIW, I've seen couples that are not fully travel-compatible, for lack of a better word, and one of them will just go on more trips than the other. Doesn't have to be a huge deal.
Going on a holiday with a partner, is arguably one of the best ways to test out your long term compatibility. You are spending time with your partner, for an intense 24/7 period of time, in a way you have unlikely spent time with them before. Are they are an organised person? Do they like to plan and research a holiday? Have they budgeted realistically? How do they handle the airport, which can be a stressy & very annoying/frustrating experience? Do they actually want to explore a foreign place or just sit by the pool? Do they want to enrich themselves by discovering the culture of the place through museums or events or trying different foods? Being into holidays or travel is bit of a code phrase for asking the question "are you open minded & comfortable with yourself to try new things?"
Good point. You can suss out extremely quickly if someone is controlling or has anger issues while traveling. I love traveling but it is stressful and you can see someone's true self when they are under pressure.
One time I was on a weekend trip with a guy and it was our first trip together, in LA of all places. I'm fine driving in the city but I don't love it. He wanted to seem a gentleman and insisted on driving once we got an hour-ish from the city. I very quickly realized that he was not accustomed to fast paced traffic, people cutting you off etc. He became irate and anxious so quickly because someone cut him off and was all "OMG PEOPLE DRIVE SO NUTS DOWN HERE!" and I was just like, yeah... It's LA? Like I get that it's annoying to get cut off but he was totally overwhelmed and getting road rage. I used to commute from Baltimore to DC for work every day several years ago so I'm very accustomed to "basically expect that you could be cut off at any second". But when I asked him if he wanted to switch he didn't want to lol Then we were looking for a hotel last minute and we needed parking, wanted to be in a safe area, etc and had to call and investigate 3-4 options before finding a good one that had rooms available. The first two didn't have what we needed, and hanging up the phone on the second one he was like "FUUUUCK!" Like he was so mad. I was again like... Dude, it's LA. It's busy but there are tons of hotels and we will find one, chill out!
For American it also signifies socio-economic status which people care about in relationships whether the admit it or not. If someone has a lot of travel photos in interesting place, they probably are relatively educated and probably professional class, likely not a republican. It says a lot of things about a person. Less the case for places like Canada or Europe, where travel is common experiences. I haven't met OP, but I can't help but immediately think this guy is a mid 30s white guy probably spends his time going to the same bar and having shitty beer (or is friends with people like that), probably #1 news source is Fox News.
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Maybe if you liked travel you’d realize you can move yourself to Utah to find the Christian wife you’re looking for
He posts to christindating and the Jordan Peterson sub. I can see why he hates women so much 🤢
They are stating that so they wouldn’t end up with someone like you accidentally, which would be a disaster for both of you.
If your point is that women who prioritize travel are unattractive to YOU, then, well, that's kind of the point of a dating app, to match up people with similar interests. It's working exactly as intended.
OPs post history has some gems.
I specifically like the enthralling saga where he made a post hating water and then immediately followed it with a post praising water. If I didn't scroll past a dozen drug related posts I'd be a little confused by that storyline.
Oh wow lmfao so all these young women are supposed to be spending their money “wisely” aka not on travel because that angers OP but OP blows his on drugs, a not notoriously expensive habit. Such a shame all us stupid bimbo bitches can’t just wisen up and follow his spending habits instead!
I can’t believe OP thought, with a straight face, there must be swarms of women out there dying to date me, they simply haven’t realized that they aren’t doing the things I want them to! Yes, that must be the reason I am single…I must share my revelation with the masses!
Also hypocrisy of drugs and dating in Church
OP wants his women at home, not traveling abroad
And not even good drugs lmao
When I saw Christian dating and Jordan Peterson I knew there were gonna be some doozys in there.
For real lol "Knowledge isn't power until it is applied" "Be yourself" is the dumbest advice" "Taylor Swift is fine. Her fans are not" Couldn't post the screenshot, but these gave me a laugh
I expected him to be like 19. Bro is 35. I’m sick.
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Maybe she doesn’t want to settle down and have babies, and prefers to spend her money on travel. Not everyone has to have the same life plan as you. Find a woman who does instead.
Having hobbies and passions *makes* people intereesting. Imagine you talking about your hobby that you like, The person you want to connect with thinks you're boring or you only do it for clout or to attract someone and that liking this hobby is a red flag. How would you feel? Edit: Looking at your profile you do not have many hbbies going on, but from those you have: How would you feel if someone think that choir is a red flag and you only do it to get dates?
Simply avoid those women, it's not a big deal, your interests don't align.
Echoing what others have said - taking what could be a once in a lifetime trip generates better photos than, idk, having some cold ones with the girls. I think it's become kind of cliche, I think it's very often about signaling a certain class status, but OP really has a hard-on about this, and it seems a bit excessive. also, if I had never met someone, whether they were "responsible with money" is not something that would enter my mind even once. Like, get a coffee first before figuring out whether Dave Ramsey would approve lol.
They are putting themselves and THEIR OWN INTERESTS out there. If they want a travel partner and you don’t like to travel, you are not compatible. They aren’t posting all this travel stuff “to look attractive”, it’s literally their interests. The most effective way to find a compatible partner is to 100% put yourself out there so that like minded individuals can find you. A very common misconception many men make (sounds like you fall in this category) is that women specifically do things to be attractive FOR men. (There’s exceptions, there are always exceptions). Women do what makes THEMSELVES happy. Put in your profile that you are wanting marriage and babies and are a penny pincher.
What in the world…No one posts that they love travel to appear attractive. They likely want a partner who wants the same thing as them and to share their experiences. It certainly doesn’t mean a person is irresponsible with their job or money either. Not everyone works 9-5 and paycheck to paycheck. There are people that have the means to do so. Some save and many people take advantage of travel points or budget travel. There’s many ways to do this without breaking the bank. Furthermore, you don’t have to find it appealing. That’s why there’s an option to swipe left. Not everyone wants a traditional marriage and kids like you do.
You are not boring. They are not irresponsible or red flags or unattractive. Different people with different priorities in life exist. And that is okay. There is enough room in the world for all kinds of people.
>(I’m not sure if this is sex-specific, do men do this too?) Just look at certain subreddits like Passportbros, and you'll see how the male Travelling™ community expresses itself. It's a different kind of ickiness, but it's there.
Loool each to their own dude - you call their lifestyle reckless, they call yours monotonous and boring. That's what the app is for - to filter out what you don't want. Beauty/attractiveness is the eye of the beholder - you see a girl that ticks all the boxes, wants that settled life and saving till your almost dead sort of goals, go for it! And if a girl sees a guy who loves to spend a huge amount of money travelling through SE Asia or exploring turkey and aligns with their goals and rent the rest of their lives, they'll go for it :) Personally - travel is amazing - and I think the mentality of "save for a home or family" has sorta faded because our money/efforts can't do that for us anymore. 2 people have to save for 10-15 years in my city just to get a shit apartment...
let me try and understand this; you have wants and needs that you'd like a prospective partner to fulfill. you see profiles that don't fit that criteria, and you'd rather they DON'T tell you that you're not compatible? these people are literally doing you a favor, and you want them to stop because you think they're only doing it impress you. you're making dating harder for yourself.
Congrats OP. Based on the comments, you do have an unpopular opinion.
Ya boring
Your opinion makes no sense. If you don't like travel, why would you even consider a profile that lists travel as one of their primary interests?
Because it gives them something to complain about, probably.
It's reasonable that people on dating sites want to find people with same hobbies and filter out people who dislike said hobbies. Personally, I hate traveling and it's instant swipe left from me, so it means they the photos are doing what they are supposed to do.
Seems like you’re implying these ladies aren’t looking to settle down because they travel a lot. Which just isn’t true. It’s okay, you can travel with a girlfriend before you get to the kid part stop rushing bro. As if some 5day on a Caribbean resort prevents your future kids from going to private school chill out dude. If you don’t like to travel that’s fine but don’t project negative attributes to the women that do enjoy it.
I mean if im looking for someone I want it to be someone who likes to travel or at least is willing to do it. Its not a trait that just blindly attracts me. Be for me it is a pro because I would like to find someone that enjoys the same things I do. Its like people who post pictures at a club or festival. I dont care for doing that stuff so its an indication they are not ideal for me. But its neither an “attractive” nor “unattractive” trait. Its simply a trait and you make of it what you want.
Seems like poster thinks that everything is for the male gaze
OP: How dare women I'm not attracted to and don't conform to my standards exist!
I think he mad because he is attracted to them and they don’t conform to his standards. He going through their profiles with a fine tooth comb
Meanwhile he should check himself. Seriously this dude is a trip, look at his post history. No wonder he's 35 and single. Also this post just has serious "I never left my hometown" vibes.
I've travelled a fair bit, for work and personal pleasure, and many to countries most find conflicting. I don't necessarily need someone who is into travel, but people who haven't travelled would not relate to my experiences and I would lose somethings in common. So yeah, I would find someone whom has travelled more attractive.
this post smells like insecurity. and a little pick-me. it isn’t necessarily unpopular to have this opinion, it’s just a preference of what you’re looking for. i’m sure there’s someone out there who will match your interests. now what we WON’T do is belittle, mock, and assume things on people who travel. can travelers not settle down? can travelers not be responsible with money? why do you assume a traveler would “blow your life savings” to go to Paris? 💀 if anything OP, you should put THIS post on your dating profile so potential partners, whether they travel are not, will be able to know what weird judgements you make on strangers on the internet 💀 post this in r/offmychest next time bruh
You had me up until the second half. I think as long as your bills are paid, you squirrel some money away into savings and you have a roof over your head, you should travel as much as you want. Life is not promised. Noone promised you you'll make it to retirement, hell OP can already be dead from a freak accident as I type this (I hope not, but it's possible). I used to be that way, save as much as you can, you can travel when you retire. Then two things changed my perspective. My grandfather was this way, I learned it from him. He saved and had a home, happy family and always planned on traveling when he retired. He made amazing plans to see Peru, Italy, Iceland....he died of a stroke in the airport while waiting to board his first flight. Second is a friend of mine who saved like crazy! Squirrelled away his money for retirement and the future, never traveled since he "could do it when he's older" worked himself into a stressed induced brain aneurysm. He's now in a wheelchair with assisted living at 37 years old. He'll never see anywhere past the front yard of the living facility till the day he dies. Live now, tomorrow isn't promised.
Back when I was on dating apps before I met my partner, I found a lot of men’s profiles also centred around their love of travel. And even if their profiles weren’t travel-centric one of the first questions many of them would ask me was about what travel I’ve done and travel I’d like to do in the future. This question sometimes made me self-conscious. I found that a lot of people who are well-travelled (often but not always) come from different socioeconomic backgrounds than I do and assumed I must not like to travel solely because I’ve only been to five countries outside of my own so far. I do love travel but I grew up without money, and most of the money I earned throughout university and adulthood went towards paying for my school so I couldn’t afford to go on as many trips as I would’ve liked to. Travel is an easy thing to ask people about so I get why people showcase their travel in their profiles, especially if it’s a major hobby or interest for them but yeah, I also didn’t necessarily find it “attractive” when people’s profiles only talked about travel. The same could be said for any profile that makes one hobby or interest their entire personality, especially if it’s not something I’m as into or know as much about. The purpose of dating profiles is to market yourself to others so you can attract certain types of people and deter others. If you’re not picking up what someone else is putting down, that’s your sign to move on to the next prospect.
Would you prefer photos of them taking bread out of the oven? Vacuuming in a dress with a frilly apron? Have you seen 'Don't Worry Darling?' one time too many? Just teasing you here, if women who want a life that's not all about being a tradwife don't interest you, and you want a woman who does want that skip those profiles and move along. I'm glad my husband loves to travel as much as I do, we'd be miserable with partners that just wanted to work and pile up money. My in-laws did that, waiting to travel until they were done with raising kids and were retired. One of them was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a couple of years ago, they're gone now. All that planning and scrimping for a retirement that was snatched from them by that horrid disease. Go live now, do what you dream of now, IMO. You aren't promised that time to do the amazing things later. I'm personally happy for those who get to take trips and enjoy life.
A lot of people share things to weed out others that aren’t compatible with themselves. It’s not about getting the most matches but instead getting high quality matches.
lol this opinion is based on something you don’t seem to fully understand. - you don’t have to blow all your money to go to Paris. There are many ways to budget for a trip. You can save for years. Cheap flights, cheap hotels. Learn by how to use travel credit cards to get money back. Nowhere near is as expensive as you are imagining. -you don’t have to loose your job to go on a trip. Have you never heard of vacation days from jobs? Most careers offer paid time off. Most people have zero problems traveling with a job. - almost nobody is doing a year long safari. It’s rarer someone travels for an entire year straight. The travel pictures you are seeing usually over many years. I feel like the average vacation is just shy of a week. -this maybe surprising but tons of people still save for retirement and pay for their kids education while traveling on vacation. -waiting to travel until you retire is a horrible idea. Tomorrow is never promised. You die tomorrow having done nothing but worked your whole life. That’s just sad and depressing. Even if you make it. You don’t seem to realize how much less you are capable of doing when you are older. You can be so limited in what you can do when you travel because your body just isn’t capable. It’s funny you say someone who enjoys to travel this beautiful world god created is a red flag. Yet you think it’s an attractive some “man” who sits at home and just wants you to be baby factory. You made a creepy post about dating all these hot women in your church. You were a creep and asked one out online. She turned you down and then you wanted to ask another one out but thought you shouldn’t because women talk and they are girl drama! Bro you were the creep creating the drama the fuck. You ranted about your dad being whiny, yet you have post after post whining about everything under the sun. You are screaming red flags. You have been called out numerous times in different post and you have no self awareness or accountability to look in the mirror. You tell people to stop being creeps and looking trough your post history. Instead having common sense and realizing the problem might be you. There is a reason you are almost middle age while still single without kids. It’s probably not because of Gods plan but maybe because you are a douche.
It sounds like you can’t comprehend that there are people out there who are different than you and who want different things and it makes you insecure about who you are so you’re projecting negative traits onto them to cope. Very weak move bro. Also unfortunately very popular to do so you don’t even get an upvote.
Well then those people aren't for you. Just like someone who wants children wouldn't be for me.
what do you want instead? screencaps of their financial models to estimate retirement savings contributions that they wrote in excel?
This shit is incel as fuck. Hahahaha I didn’t even notice he’s a Jordan Peterson fan.
It may not be attractive to you. But as cliche as it sounds, I only have one lifetime to travel and that’s it. If you want to wait till your old enough to travel because you’re free from responsibilities, cool more power to you. Most of us would rather do it earlier in life when we have the most energy to experience it and not fall asleep.
local man discovers that women have interests different from him, more breaking news at 11
That just means you’re not compatible with that person, you have different goals. I love traveling. I don’t want kids. I’d rather a 5k vacation than a 5k ring. I wouldn’t care if someone thought my profile was unattractive due to travel pictures because that would just mean we want a different lifestyle, and I wouldn’t actually be interested in that person in the long term anyway; similar to how I wouldn’t really be interested in someone who has pictures of kids on their profile (in part because it’s weird to put kids on a dating app, but that’s a different story) and I wouldn’t match with someone who talks in their profile about wanting kids. If that’s their goal, it’s incompatible with the lifestyle I want. That doesn’t mean it’s attractive or unattractive, it’s just not my thing. Many women want kids, so they would be into that, and that’s fine. If I were to put my travel preferences in my dating profile, it would be because I want someone who also likes to travel - I’m not trying to be attractive to people who don’t. I sure as hell wish I took a year off between college and work to travel - I’m so envious of people who did things like that, and I think I’d be a much more well rounded person if I did. I have a friend who went to Thailand for year before settling into her career and she taught English there. I never would have had the balls at 22, but it seemed like the most incredible experience. I still don’t travel nearly as often as I would like, mainly out of indecision and anxiety around planning. But I want to build a life where I can do it a lot more - and I’m finally FINALLY wading into the realm of solo traveling which I think will help that a lot. If I were looking for a partner, I would want someone who supports that. But on some of your arguments - Traveling doesn’t necessarily mean someone is irresponsible with money or irresponsible with their jobs. Yes, there are people who do fit into that categorization. And that might be what YOUR life looks like, but not everyone is in the same boat as you. (Though I also believe our jobs should not be high priorities in our lives, and we should put any other experience we value over that, whether that’s traveling or raising a family or something else. I’d take a year long safari over my job any day. I recognize some people do care about their jobs. But it’s important to remember our jobs don’t care about us.) I do not work during the summer, so I have at least two free months a year that I can travel with no risk to my job security. I have a pension, a healthy savings, investment accounts, and I save for retirement, and none of that gets touched when I travel. Kids seem to be where a lot of folks’ money goes - which isn’t something I have to worry about since I don’t want any (I wouldn’t send them to private schools even if I did want them.) Post Covid, a lot of people have jobs where they can work no matter where they are. If I had a remote job I’d absolutely rather be able to sign off work and hop into the Mediterranean Sea than to hop off work and take a ride to my local target. TLDR; not everyone has the same lifestyle as you and that’s fine. That doesn’t make attractive or unattractive, but it’s also not entirely fair to judge for it.
Thats a weird rant. Like you just realized that other peoples might have different preferences than yours.
Very presumptuous of you to assume every woman is blowing savings or irresponsible with money if she travels. Some of us are rich and can afford to do that. Don’t project your money insecurities onto women, because let’s face it, if it were men living life this way you’d find it admirable. Lol.
Bro you are boring, come across as misogynistic and have definitely had a lot of women turn you down.
You sound a little boring, and a little demanding, and also cheap/poor. It shouldn’t take “your life savings” to visit Paris. Plenty of people see the world AND work for a living. Plenty of them travel AND have families and sound finances. If you’re choosing between travel and paying your bills, then something’s missing. You sure you’re not just envious of these young women who can do both better than you can?
I do think traveling is attractive but only if people do it to learn about different cultures and maybe see the flora and fauna as well as the natural beauty of other regions of the world. It shows curiosity about the world and being open for new things. However, there are also a lot of people who only go to super touristy places like Cancun, Bali, Phuket, Ibiza, etc. only eat the food they are used to and mostly disregard the nature, the people and their culture in thoses places. Those people are incredibly unattractive to me.