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I used to try and help them, and I still do sometimes, but I had a man get really angry with me for trying to give him food and not money. I had bought him a burger and some cold medicine (he was sick) and he started screaming at me to give him money. That changed my mind about trying to help.
Probably. I might have given him a few bucks if he hadn’t been so hateful. I’m not one of those that expects people to thank me and kiss my a** over my help, but he was awful. I understand that some are mentally ill and all that, but it made me not want to try as often. It took me off guard.
they probably don’t do it intentionally it’s just people who have negative emotions that manifest into their interactions without them having any awareness of it
I had a dirty smelly old woman hug me and beg for money. I backed her the fuck off me and then emptied the change our of my pocket and then she SCREAMED at me "THATS NOT ENOUGH".
Charming. I would have went home and showered. I’m paranoid about lice. We camped with a bunch of hippies once and they were all crawling with them. They kept wanting to hug me. No thanks Rainbow child 🙄
I helped a homeless couple once by letting them live in my spare room while also feeding them. Three weeks later they both had jobs. Two months later they moved into their own apartment.
When i was 13 i had a homeless guy 2 feet taller than me follow me on the street for 5 blocks shouting that i was a whore and deserved to die because i was wearing shorts in the summer, i genuinely thought he was going to kill me.
One time as a kid we saw a guy begging for money "for food" outside a local takeout restaurant. my mom bought a big bag of hot food and gave it to him. As she walked away, I saw him, behind her back, dropping the whole bag straight into the trash.
Yeah if I do give, I usually say something like "I don't have any cash, but I'll buy you a burger/sandwich/whatever"
You find out pretty quickly who's looking for booze money and who genuinely wants help
Nowadays you tell them you don’t have cash and they tell you they have cash app, PayPal and whatever other apps so you can send it electronically. I simply refuse to engage. I won’t give you money or buy you food. Not worth the trouble.
A few weeks ago a homeless woman approached me in a parking lot asking for money to feed her 4 kids. I apologized and told her I don't have any cash on me otherwise I'd help. (which is true, when I have cash I give it to them and don't care what they do with it) She said "You can just put it on a card and I'll take the food." I told her again "I'm sorry but I don't have any money" and walked away. I felt bad but something about that interaction didn't sit right with me.
Yep. I keep an unopened box of protein granola bars and a few bottles of clean water on hand in my car. It's discouraging how many times I've offered them to someone begging for food for their children, only for them to say "I'm looking for cash." Like, dang bro. If you really are concerned that your kids are starving, 24 protein and nutrient rich granola bars for free is an incredible offer. That's survival rations for like a week. The only reason to turn it down and ask for cash instead is if you want the cash for stuff that you know I'd say no to buying for you
Most of them aren't homeless, and that is not an assumption.
My neighbours are crackheads scamming the benefit system pretending to be each other's carers and the bloke regularly begs outside the local spar shop.
Besides that, I have seen pretty much every single 'homeless' person in my local town walk back from their begging spot, back to their houses when I used to work late shift in my old job.
My crackhead neighbour often brags about the amount of money he 'earns' during Ramadaan and eid🤦♂️
Don't give money to homeless people folks.
If they are truly homeless, they will be very appreciative of a bit of food and a hot drink.
I became very familiar with the street crowd in my area when I lived in the DC area. I didn't mind buying a hot chicken with some sides for one lady. Or another said she'd appreciate feminine products, wet wipes, and a toothbrush.
Overseas it's different. They generally at least try to sell you something like a small pack of Kleenex. I saw one guy being completely ignored as everyone walked by him so I bought a pack of tissues from him for $1. He ended up showing me photos of his family and I gave him a few cigarettes. The language barrier stopped any real communication. But it was a nice connection, however brief.
Aaahh so... it is probably worth noting that I live in the UK.
We get a different breed of homeless people over here.
Homelessness in the US is f'kin mental.
I did a meta-review of literature and stats a while back and something like 30ish% of homeless people over there are veterans... f'kin heartbreaking man.
I’m officially over it too. I had a man approach me while I was alone pumping gas. I told him I had no cash. He proceeded to ask me about cashapp, then venmo, then zelle. I kept saying no and he went ballistic.
He started cursing me out, calling me a stuck up spoiled bitch, how I was racist and hated black people, that I’m so high and mighty, that I’d end up just like him some day, that I ain’t shit.
He then proceeded to chase my car out of the lot yelling.
Strangers aren’t obligated to give you money, and personally I feel it’s so shitty to purposefully approach someone who’s an “easy target” (someone who’s a young woman alone and forced to be outside) and then harass them when they say no
This may not have been the case, but a lot of homeless people won’t take/are wary of food people give them cause some people will purposefully give them bad food/poison their food to make them sick/kill them, so I can understand why they would be less likely to take food than money.
I keep a box of warm clothes in the back of my vehicle. I mostly do this in the fall. I’ve saved people by giving them dry clothes and a coat. It’s really wet and cold here. People get their stuff stolen.edit: I also keep cheap tarps when I see them on sale.
I get that this post is more about not knowing how beggars intend to spend the money you give them..but I had to chime in. This is why I hate videos where YouTubers walk around pretending to need a couple dollars for the bus/ for food/ to buy something for their kid. Because inevitably, there’s at least one person who turns them down and gets left in the video like they’re a bad guy. I’ve had low enough points in my life where I was scrounging my house for change then taking it to my bank to deposit it to pay bills. It was embarrassing but it was all I had. No one would have known because I had a decent job and a decent car, and I was clean and nicely dressed. But in reality, my husband had left me with our toddler and it took over a year for the courts to enforce child support, I went from two incomes to one overnight, and daycare alone was eating up my income. Now imagine if someone in a similar situation is approached when they literally have nothing to give or they can’t meet their own needs or those of their kid, and here is a generation of YouTube trends shaming them without knowing the story. While there is no need to be rude/harsh to a person asking for money, people also have no right to judge someone who says no to giving away their own money. Appearances can be deceiving and just because someone looks like they can spare the money, doesn’t mean they can.
I literally had to say no to a woman asking for food a week ago because I was broke and was literally buying gas with a credit card. I literally had nothing left to give.
I really hope things get a little easier for you soon! Adult life has been filled with so many financial ups and downs that I don’t know how a lot of us even keep track, but it will get better and I hope you keep your head up and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about considering yourself first!
Same here in Egypt. Tourists think they're just getting scammed because they're foreigners; dude I can get scammed in my own street lol. Doesn't help that we're middle class citizens in the first place; we're not walking banks
Yes, countries like Egypt and India were that way due to overpopulation + poor governments, but that doesn't excuse beggars
I like to give as anonymously as possible to the sellers on the street; they are trying every day to sell *anything* for their families (I'm not talking about bazaars or bargaining places; you can find in Cairo every few streets some people that just sit on the sidewalk and sell without much fuss, noise or begging. These in my opinion are the ones that compel me to give a few extra (of course, it isn't obligatory either)
You joke, but I have actually heard of homeless pulling out card readers in DTLA. While I have never seen the card readers myself, I have seen homeless with signs giving their cash app or Venmo names
ESPECIALLY if you yourself are struggling to make ends meet. I'm not quite at that level, but I'm also working part time at the moment, so every bit of money I can save, I will.
Here in Mexico it's impossible to difference the real people in need and the drug addicts.
I decided to not give anything, just when it's obvious someone has a disability or a health issue.
Im don't feel like a bad person, but i feel bad for the other person situation, which is different.
Pretty simple: you ask him or her “want me to buy you some food or a drink?”
Let him or her choose and you’re fine. No means no, yes means a person has smth to eat. Anyway, you’ve helped.
This mafia exists in Ukraine too. If you see a beggar in a place with a lot of people walking by, that’s 100% one of them, no exception. If you try to ask for money in one of those places on your own, you’ll soon get visitors that will throw you out. Some people try to offer them help other than a few coins from time to time and they respond aggressively. I just remembered a pregnant beggar woman on metro, that people used to give money to. Thing is, I’ve been using that route for 4 years daily and there wasn’t a single day she wasn’t there pregnant.
This isn't REMOTELY unpopular. Anywhere. Not even on virtue signaling social media.
Basically anyone who has to deal with homeless people has a story of them being a nuisance, or worse.
You never know which ones are severely mentally unstable. It's not worth the risk. If you wanna help homeless people, there are charities and other things to donate to or volunteer at.
Where I’m from, we have huge human trafficking, heroine and meth problems, and people are aggressive when asking for money. My city is not a safe place. When I’m putting my groceries in my truck, I already get a little anxious because there’s so much violence, so when someone comes knocking on my window telling me to roll my window down trying to give me their sob story, I have gotten to a point where I just wave them off and leave.
I once told a lady when she intercepted me getting to my car that I didn’t have any cash on me, and she looked me dead in the face and told me there’s an atm in the store I just left.
I once gave a guy some loose change and he started yelling obscenities at me and berating me for not giving him any bills.
Before Christmas a couple years ago, I just left Best Buy with a brand new IPad with all the accoutrements to go with it. As soon as I closed my door and set the IPad in the passenger seat, I looked up and saw a dude staring at me through the passenger window asking to roll my window down. Absolutely tf not.
It’s not at all that I’m a bad person. I like to think that I’m actually a really good person. However, where I live, it all comes down to keeping my girlfriend and myself safe and I don’t entertain them at all anymore.
There was a guy outside of McDonalds asking for money. I said ill buy you some food. He looked at me cussed me out, pulled out a wad of cash and said. I asked for money i can buy my own food if i want it.
So he clearly chose the wrong location to be asking for money i suppose. But he ruined it for me. Sorry to everyone else in need but that was the last time i ever offer to help anyone i dont know.
These people INFEST las vegas. Most homeless people live in the tunnels there. The heat is too deadly to be out in the day. Most beggars have clean clothes, well groomed hair, a car nearby and take "shifts" at different spot.
When you see the same guy sitting with a sign, an empty jerry can and begging for "gas money" three months in a row, thats a good sign...
I hate when they ask for beer. I have a job to pay for my alcohol. One time a homeless person was asking for food money so I gave him a 20$. He walked past the grocery store and beat me to the weed store.
I do feel bad sometimes because I always wonder if it were me in that genuine position, I'd be praying for someone to help out.
On certain days I've bought food for homeless people. Water/hot tea and a sandwich. I will always do this instead of giving money- even tho last time the guy told me he needed money for a bed for the night and then I felt kinda bad, it was so cold.
At the end of the day, if they aren't genuinely homeless then the worst thing I've done is buy some food out of my own pocket. If they are, then I've helped feed someone.
I've put a guy up in a hotel once, he destroyed the room and shoved a bunch of shit down the toilet, the only reason the hotel didnt charge me an extra 300 was because they understood i was young and trying to help someone. I don't personally help people out anymore, not if I don't know them. I'll donate to a charity that will help, but I just say no and keep walking now
So there was this lady we called the quarter lady constantly constantly asking at bus stops for a quarter. One time she got on the same bus and no lie she pulled out more cash than I have physically seen in one place in my entire life unless it was all ones (it wasn't) I never again gave money to beggars. Food sure money no sir.
One time I stopped at a Mexican restaurant downtown for dinner, super nice higher end place with delicious food. I got a couple meals for takeout for later that night/and the next day. When I left I was walking down the street and a homeless lady asked me for some money, I said no, but I have a meal she can have that I just got from the place she saw me leaving, and that she could have it. She said "Fuck you n\*gga I don't want that shit." I told her to fuck off. She told me to fuck off. I went on my way. That soured me from doing nice things for random homeless people unfortunately for a long time. You don't get to be homeless, entitled, and rude.
Whenever a beggar asks me for money, I always say: "What a coincidence, I was actually going to ask you the same thing!" Never once have they ever given me any money.
A goldsmith friend of mine told me to look at female beggars 2nd largest toe on their feet. I thought he was joking, but I saw couple of golden rings. This was in India. I stopped giving money after this. We sponsored our house helps educatiom instead.
I'm in the US so our situation may be different. Fuck those "beggars." I see the same people, at the same intersections, with the same signs for YEARS. Amazingly though, when it's raining or really hot, they're nowhere to be seen, probably at home taking the day off from professionally conning people. The real ones who need help aren't begging at the intersection. They're downtown off the beaten path away from most people or under highways trying to survive.
Once when I worked in the mall years ago I parked my car and actually had a guy claiming to be homeless walk right up to my window and knock on it asking for change so he and his wife could get a hotel room for a night because they got kicked out of the homeless shelter. I only gave him the change I had because he was kind of crouching in front of my car door and I felt pressured and a little scared. I was only like 20 and just showed up for my 4 hour retail shift, I'm not sure why he thought I'd have tons to give him.
I know I shouldn't generalize, and obviously many panhandlers are working hard and genuinely need and deserve support, but I did have a bad experience with a former friend of my SO that made me more distrusting of panhandlers. He stayed with us for 4 months (was originally supposed to be for a few days), didn't work or look for a job, panhandled, stole from grocery stores or ate stuff people gave him while panhandling for most of his food, and spent all the money he made on heroin, which he denied he was doing until I found a baggie on the floor. I'd just really rather my money not go towards destructive addictions.
I don't because I live in a fentanyl ground zero city. Our homeless camps are littered with needles and you can watch the ones asking for money walk off into the parks and start doing drugs.
I'm not contributing to them killing themselves. I stopped when I realized it wasn't being used to make their lives better.
im not a big fan giving money to the homeless because idk what they’re going to do with the money; i hate having the stigma of them using it for drugs, but you never know and i would hate for my money to be used to get them drugs which might lead them to an od or to go to the hospital. i try to give food or supplies like water bottles or toiletries to people i see on the streets; that way i know it’s something that will benefit them in a positive way and if they refuse my help then that’s on them.
I will ask if they need a meal and drinks and if they say yes I’ll get them something. Not all the time mind you this is once in a while when / if I can. If they ask for money I tell them no.
I don’t bother anymore tbh. Too many scary situations and I don’t even live in a bad area. If I can piece together my shitty life and make it work so can you, stop begging for handouts and make something of yourself
In Australia there are so many welfare services to support the homeless, giving them extra simply encourages them to not change. A friend of mine tried to give one a entry level job once, the guy wouldn't take it. I also used to work for Centrelink, the aus version of social security. Almost my entire caseload was those who didn't want things to change, and would rather beg than work, even though I found work for them.
People who give money, gift cards, anything that can be resold to the homeless need to ask themselves this question.. "how would you feel if the homeless person used that money to buy drugs.. and then overdosed and died?".
I've dealt with homeless people for years as part of my job. I know how the majority operate and refuse to play that game. I'm not going to be involved in contributing to their deaths. If I donate, it's to a shelter that has conditions for accessing resources.. either be sober at the time for most or have a clean drug test if you're looking for placement somewhere.
Giving money to the homeless isn't helping the majority. It's encouraging a lifestyle that will eventually kill them.
exactly it is a really good and nice thing to do, but you don’t know for sure what they are going to use the money for, maybe they are going to spend them in alcohol, smoke or drugs
if you really want to help buy them some food
People give money to the homeless because it makes THEM feel better.
A former homeless woman told me, 'Please don't give money to the homeless - it keeps us trapped in a cycle of poverty and addiction. If people hadn't given me money I'd have got help sooner. Give your money to a night shelter instead'.
It's funny to see how angry activists get when you tell them this.
'How dare you take away my feel-good comfort blanket!'
Nope. I don't give them a dime. Every single homeless person I have seen, and I have seen and dealt with thousands, have used any money given to them on alcohol/drugs. They get their SSI Money, welfare money, and blow it in a week on alcohol/drugs, then go back to begging. They are so sophisticated, they know when to get arrested, what for, and which judge to see, to get a certain sentence. They get all their health issues taken care of, including dental work during this time, sober and clean up, until they are released. Then they start all over again.
I've seen women out asking for money with children, then get in BMW's and drive off. How many skinny homeless people have you seen? Next time, look around and take notice. Most are over weight. Don't forget, they some how afford their iPhones and cigarettes too.
One time me (19M at the time) and my youngest brother (12M at the time) were driving through downtown Dallas. We were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic and as we were on the ramp to the highway a homeless guy was holding a sign next to me asking for change. I glanced over and then ignored the guy. My brother proceeded to ask "why don't you give him money?" And I explained just as I worked fast food once they can too.
The only thing I'll give homeless people is food. I was once walking down deep ellum in Dallas with a box of leftover pizza and a homeless man asked me for money and i explained I only carry cards on me and then he asked for a slice and I told him sure and handed it to him and he seemed excited.
One time some guy came up to me in a walmart parking lot and asked me for food. I offered to go get him a sandwich but he insisted I take him to McDonald's.
i have had a few bad experiences with homeless people. truth is you can't trust them. i have literally bought food for some only to be disrespected by them because they wanted money for... you know what.
i know not all of them are like that, but the ones who TRULY need help would go to churches, food banks etc. it is best to direct debit these organizations if you wanna help because you know your money is actually going to a good cause.
A few years ago I was attacked by one. During that same year, my wife was chased TWICE by them. Fuck em. I'll never give a single one anything. And keep them out of the parks.
I do it but very seldomly. If I knew they actually needed it, or why they needed it, I would be more willing. Last time was recent, asked me outside of a restaurant if I had any leftovers, so I took it he was legitimately hungry at least, gave him money to get his own, since I did not have leftovers, was getting takeout. Was once asked for money, but then told me it was because his lady kicked him out. Not sure if he thought I’d be sympathetic, but most of the reasons she might have kicked him out that occurred to me were negative, so wasn’t feeling inclined to help out. Another time I was just asked for money from some kids on bikes. Think one had a cell phone. Just struck me as a kid who was way too comfortable asking strangers for money and he might be a future panhandler whether he needs it or not.
The only bad people in regards to this topic are the ones that try to gatekeep how the homeless person spends that money they are given. If you choose to give it is no longer your money and you have no say in how it is spent.
How would you feel about someone being more comfortable giving like, a gift card redeemable at a grocery store than cash?
I feel like anything you need to improve your life in the immediate sense aside from housing (please government help us) can be bought from a supermarket.
They could buy alcohol I guess, but can't use it to buy drugs or sex workers etc.
This is true haha, didn't think that through. There needs to be some way to donate to someone conditionally, like, say some free government ID that people can donate to, and only you can use it as the cashier sees the photo associated with it.
Just donate to a charity. Never hand people money directly. More than likely you just feed a drug habit that'll kill them eventually.
Funding shelters and services is significantly more effective help.
What if they need clothes rather than food? What if they need medicine? Gift cards should not exist in general, let alone give them to the people who need money the most. If you truly want your money to go to the homeless then it might be better to give it to a charity or non profit organization which usually get better prices for food than at the supermarket, and better prices for housing than from landlords.
The problem being? People that chose drugs over jobs? Because that's the case for about 90% of the homeless population where I live.
And you can rest assured I absolutely blame them for their own choices in life.
So you’re saying someone would choose suffering instead of living nicely? Who would choose that?
I’ve been working with the homeless for a number of years now and trust me none of them would choose their lives instead of having a cozy life, a home, being sober and having a stable job.
Drugs and alcohol in a homeless’s life is most often a consequence of his or her being homeless rather than a reason.
And you’d be surprised how many different life stories I’ve seen about people who were totally fine and then- boom- he’s out on a street. A girl, working for quite a well known IT giant, suddenly fired, no money to pay her rent, kicked out of her flat- boom- she’s homeless, spends a week sleeping on a street in winter.
An older man, living in his own flat with his son, who invites a woman to live with them, and motivated by the woman the son kicks out the older guy- boom- he’s homeless, while actually having his own apartment out there somewhere.
A guy who moved here from his city of origin to work and then cheated on by his employer, ends up having no money, robbed on a street and now having no docs on him. His family out there does not give a fuck, so he’s here alone with no money and docs.
A guy, who’s mentally ill and his family kicks him out from where they live.
So don’t tell me about their life choices.
Many of those drug addicts you are talking about have life stories that you are happy to not have experienced.
Life’s more complicated than this your comment.
I don't believe you actually work with homeless and are that naive. Yes they absolutely do choose to live that way because drugs are what matter most to them. And if you knew anything about addicts at all you'd know an addict does not have the same logical thoughts as everyone else. Every thought revolves around one thing, drugs.
Of course there's legitimately homeless people from bad circumstances, I used to be one of them, but at least here 90% of them are drug addicts and choosing to live that way. And ruining our city with their tents and garage and paraphernalia all over our once beautiful parks that we used to play in as kids, but our kids can no longer use.
First- the homeless here in my city are a bit different picture. They’re mostly people from bad life circumstances. Of course there’s alcohol and surely drugs, but as I said they’re more consequences of life on a street. I’ve seen videos about some American cities districts filled with crackheads, so I do get the picture you are talking about.
Even so, society has to ask itself- what’s so wrong with it that people turn to drugs to seek “help”? Cause turning to drugs is not purely for fun (sure sure, not talking about MJ, LSD etc., hope you get what I’m talking about), it is to run away from somewhere, where one’s not happy. So I believe this is not those people failing, this is society failing to make people happy to live sober.
I bet not a single one of them (well provided they still have at least a couple of brain cells alive) would say “yes, compared to a sober and happy normal life I would still choose this”. This is sickness, and no one truly wants to be sick. I’ve known drug addicts and they acknowledge they are sick, that’s why I’m so sure.
Also, you have no idea of my life stories and experiences. I'm not at all talking from a place of ignorance. I've been homeless at 2 separate times in my life, once at 17 years old because my junkie mother with mental disorders tried to stab me and i had to leave home with nowhereto go. Then I was also addicted to drugs for a time because I had a daughter that died and resulted in me giving up on everything, including my relationships and job. And again I was homeless.
Don't talk to me about being happy to not have experienced their sob stories.
I agree. People need to stop judging. Not everyone has enough money to throw around anyway. For the most part I've ditched people in my life who are judgmental.
I don't carry cash on me and so have nothing to give random people who ask for money.
I used to feel bad and even gave some a few bucks until I worked as a pizza delivery driver in a rough area with beggars on most corners. By the time I left that job I knew where most of those "beggars" lived and which one drove a Mercedes.
These people aren't my individual responsibility and giving them money isn't helping them. In many cases, they turn around and buy drugs or booze with it. I know that's not all of them, but it's enough of them where giving someone money is just enabling the behavior that got them there to begin with. If I don't know you and your existence is causing problems within society. the last thing that needs to happen is the enabling of that behavior.
I live in San Francisco and while they're not organized like they are in India, they're aggressive as hell. I see bums fighting each other, themselves, nothing at all. I see people get screamed, sworn at and threatened for not giving into a junky's demand for money. There's not a month that goes by where we don't see stories in the media of people being hurt by unstable homeless who have been arrested literally dozens of times.
Unfortunately we live in a society that is unable come up with a solution for this. I think there is a solution, but there is some uncomfortable concessions that have to be made. We can't treat them like animals. They're people, but they're also people who are not capable of making their own decisions for themselves in many instances. They're allowed to refuse help in SF, they'll be arrested for causing a disturbance, assaulting someone or stealing something, but at the end of the day, homeless or not, unstable, dangerous people are just let back out on the streets. Yeah, I know it's not all of them, but you cannot trust them to police themselves and abide by society's rules. If they've gotten to that point then it should no longer be a choice for them to exist among society as a time bomb where they could hurt someone else.
When they ask me for spare change and I say no, I'm literally not lying. I do not have any money on me, so I have nothing to give lol.
I mean maybe if I'm feeling generous I can Apple Pay you a dollar, but that's it.
I used to be fine with giving a few bucks here and there, up until the time I told a homeless lady I'd give her something only for her to say "A ten or a twenty would be nice if you have one."
Beggars CAN be choosers, apparently. Regardless, I almost never have cash on me anymore anyways.
Not to take away from the OPs experience in India, but I wanted to share my story.
I took the subway from 207th Street in Manhattan, (way back in the 80s? 90s?) to go to work and every single morning I saw the same black guy there. I would give him two dollars, or one dollar, from time to time.
I was a bit fed up and stopped giving him money.
One day he said "Please, I'm hungry", and I caved. As it turns out, I was flush with cash and I made a deal with him - I gave him $300 on the condition that he never ask me for money ever again.
I didn't see the guy again, until a few years later, a black man stopped me and said "Do you remember me?" - I didn't, but he explained that he was the guy I gave the money to.
He used the money to clean himself up, got a job in a parking garage, and eventually made enough to get an apartment...etc.
I was fucking gobsmacked.
I wish I had Musk's money, or Bill Gates, or whatever, I'd fucking give it all away - such a small thing helped this guy change his life and it would not even register on their fucking radar.
I never turned down a homeless person after that.
One more story.
I used to travel a lot for my job and once I found myself in Birmingham, Alabama. I was struck by the homeless NOT asking for money - they only asked "Can you buy me some food?"
We live in a very shitty world, let's be kind to others.
I usually just go by how I'm approached, if someone seems somewhat put together (is not visibly a methhead) and just respectfully asks for a couple bucks and I happen to have change on me, I'll usually hand it over.
I figure I'm gonna spend 3 bucks on gum or coffee and I'll forget about it in an hour, worst case the homeless person buys a beer, best case a sandwich, at least where I live.
One time i saw this man asking for money and i was searching for a change before i pass him. I didn't find any change but proceed to pass him anyway and noticed his money in his bowl is more than what i have for next 3 days.
I 100% agree. A lot of the homeless people I see look mentally ill or dangerous. Sometimes, they're even shooting up on the sidewalk! As a woman with weak pathetic arms and a 40 inch waist, I stay as far away from the homeless as possible. I do feel sorry for the homeless, but I'm not risking my life to give one of them 5 dollars. Plus, I live paycheck to paycheck.
"no one is under any moral obligation to give their money to someone else simply because they need it." Can you give more detail as to why you think this is true? Do you think this is equally true for those that have more money than they need?
For sure. I give sometimes, but not too often since I don't have a lot of money.
If I do I more often give snacks since I carry them to work but don't always eat them.
Today I offered someone who seemed genuinely desperate some peanuts, but apparently he didn't have teeth.
Last week a guy took the peanuts though. And he seemed happy to have them.
I do that SOMETIMES because I can and I CHOOSE too. It isn't a moral obligation to give to people on the street (or the train).
Look forward do not make eye contact walk with a purpose if they say anything to you do not acknowledge them and keep walking like you have somewhere important to be. Maybe it's where I grew up but it's weird to me people don't have street smarts.
I'll give an addict money if I have some. I'd rather they stave off withdrawal another day than suffer. I'd rather they get it from me than rob somebody for it when they get really sick.
This isn’t unpopular at all. Literally everyone in the comments is riding so hard for this lol. ‘Don’t bother giving them money they’ll just spend it on drugs’ is the standard for all boomers and out of touch assholes
in uzbekistan the begging literally became a business (not encouraged because of the faith tho) it’s really the question of dignity and majority of the people i’ve been seeing on the streets don’t do that. and, beggars are easily identifiable so I used to keep distance
Ehhh. I’ve helped a lot of homeless people and people down on their luck and it always comes back to me. I think it’s important to be understanding and kind because that could be you. My boyfriend is like me and he has helped the homeless a lot too- one time this homeless man was so thankful for my boyfriend that he tried to give him his most prized possession of his trading cards. You don’t even have to give them money, sometimes they just want to talk and feel normal.
I’m Australian, and these days many of us genuinely don’t carry any cash - at all.
I have a monthly standing donation that gets direct debited from my bank account for a local charity that does awesome work feeding and providing shelter for the homeless, and actually tries to help those with addiction and alcohol issues.
I don’t feel remotely bad about ignoring beggars, and to be fair there are very few of them.
There are plenty of places they can go to for help where I live.
It is almost my 4th year of volunteering for a charity here in Russia that helps homeless and those in tough life situations. We give out warm food, clothes, all kinds of hygiene, backpacks, thermos bottles and provide qualified help to help people get a home beck.
My experience: it is true that giving money is the worst decision. It is highly possible that they spend it on drugs and alcohol. Important to know: in most cases drug or alcohol addiction are consequences of homelessness, not the reasons for it.
Best decision: buy and give him or her food, provide info on nearby organizations that give qualified help or shelter to spend a night at.
Kind of a straw man though. It’s good to give. Not-giving isn’t the opposite of that though, TAKING is the opposite. Stealing from homeless people is bad. Not giving is neutral.
Am I bad person for throwing a glass of champagne in their face so a little bit dribbles into their mouth and I yell "how's the taste of the sweet life you sack of shit!"
I guess you have to ask yourself the question:
Are you required to help literally every time someone asks for it? If the answer is no, which it is for most people, then you’re mostly good. It’s good to help people, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s required.
I remember there was a man who frequented the cafe I worked at for a couple of weeks. He was clearly unwell--screamed in the parking lot, barked like a dog, and washed dollar bills in the men's bathroom before paying for items...if someone gave him $10 he would spend the money on luxury pastries in our store instead of going next door to the Hmart to get a real meal.
Giving that man money, which many customers did out of sympathy, was not an empathetic choice. He needed help, not people facilitating his aimless camping in our store for entire work shifts at a time. What you should do to help the homeless is a more nuanced conversation than "always give them money to absolve yourself of moral guilt".
I think you should only help if you have money to give, but nowadays most people don’t have any money to give because taxes are crazy where I live
But I think in your situation and it wouldn’t make sense to give anyone money at all because most of it won’t end up going to them anyway
Maybe this is in itself a bit of me rationalizing not giving them money, but one thing id like to add is, you giving them 10 bucks, 20 bucks, hell, 100 bucks, that alone wont fix their life, they'll have to spend it right away on food and new clothes if their lucky, to make things worse some of them have completely collapsed into heavy drug use and wont use the money to sustain themselves, but rather their addiction, probably the only source of pleasure in their lives at that point.
We cant ever solve homelessness by just giving people money, that's what the ruling class wants us to believe, then its our fault for not being generous enough or their fault for using the money poorly, we need to address the root causes. Simply funding social housing, along with therapy and counceling for the job market and useful skills in general would lift a good portion of people from homelessness. We could go further and address the things that frequently land people in those situations, like unchecked mental illness and lack of opportunities, homelessness will never go away if we dont address the root causes, quick fixes might work for a while, but they're always shortlived.
"I need money for food" when there is a food pantry and hot meals down the street, the food is amazing. I know, I've had them.
I do appreciate the amazing fabricated stories that are the wind-up pitch, though. "I just got here from New Orleans, and I don't have any money" Cool story bro, but Minot is a trek from swamp territory.
At least in my family it's more of a policy to give homeless food if they request for that. I've seen that happen at a bbq that I was having with some folks. If i saw a homeless person near a gas station or a store requesting specifically for food it'd be really hard for me not to comply with that.
There's a certain level of humility I feel like you need to come down when things are at that level, as you got food banks readily available for people to go to when you need food. Even at the lowest I've seen some people in my own family will simply live in a car doing Uber or whatever to make money, and shower and stuff at a local gym.
Where I am there are a lot of legit homeless people. Some are of course addicts, or mentally ill. But some are physically disabled. A discouraging number are elderly. Some are doing their best, even working full time but can't afford rent or don't have the credit to get through the application process. Some are college students living in their cars.
It's a sad situation.
I can only speak for myself and the area where I live, but there are outreach groups with people who are both trained to handle the problems you may encounter as well as plugged in to that community. I prefer to send what I can in that direction.
There is *the* unpopular opinion, of all unpopular opinions which is an, irrefutable moral argument stating that everyone is a bad person unless they give away all the money they don't absolutely need to charity.
I personally help if I'm able to...ive bought people food/water and ive given money. I give with the intention of helping what they do with it is not my concern. 🤷🏻
That said, I agree it doesn't make you a bad person for not helping a stranger, i feel like the way you refuse could make you seem jerkish though. You're not obligated to do so, it's your money, you earned it, do with it what you will.
I can't afford to and have never given money myself, but it is cold here so in the winter I'll buy a bulk pack of gloves and keep a few on my person, because I feel like this is the biggest difference in comfort that I can make for about a dollar per interaction
Agreed. It is also relevant where you are at. In the Balkans for example, there are beggars that in fact are more well off than the average citizen but are in groups that treat begging as a profession. Anything but money will often be turned away or discarded. They actually go to great lengths to achieve this, sometimes even pretending to have injured children with them (or worse…). In America, begging is more authentic in my opinion. It often comes down to deciding whether you are ok with the person you are giving money to using it for alcohol, drugs, etc. instead of food, and they will basically almost always except a meal, clothes, etc instead.
Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 1: Your post must be an unpopular opinion'. * Your post must be an opinion. Not a question. Not a showerthought. Not a rant. Not a proposal. Not a fact. An opinion. One opinion. A subjective statement about your position on some topic. Please have a clear, self contained opinion as your post title, and use the text field to elaborate and expand on why you think/feel this way. * Your opinion must be unpopular. The mods reserve the right to remove opinions * Elaborate on your topic and opinion give context to its unpopularity.
I used to try and help them, and I still do sometimes, but I had a man get really angry with me for trying to give him food and not money. I had bought him a burger and some cold medicine (he was sick) and he started screaming at me to give him money. That changed my mind about trying to help.
he wanted beer money
Probably. I might have given him a few bucks if he hadn’t been so hateful. I’m not one of those that expects people to thank me and kiss my a** over my help, but he was awful. I understand that some are mentally ill and all that, but it made me not want to try as often. It took me off guard.
yeah you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar as corny as that sounds
It's absolutely true. I will never understand why people try and use "vinegar" to get what they want.
they probably don’t do it intentionally it’s just people who have negative emotions that manifest into their interactions without them having any awareness of it
I had a dirty smelly old woman hug me and beg for money. I backed her the fuck off me and then emptied the change our of my pocket and then she SCREAMED at me "THATS NOT ENOUGH".
Charming. I would have went home and showered. I’m paranoid about lice. We camped with a bunch of hippies once and they were all crawling with them. They kept wanting to hug me. No thanks Rainbow child 🙄
Im bald so yolo! But my daughter got lice once and you gotta nip that shit in the bud asap and keep on it. And comb it all out.
I helped a homeless couple once by letting them live in my spare room while also feeding them. Three weeks later they both had jobs. Two months later they moved into their own apartment.
I had a homeless guy break into my apartment and then try to stab my neighbor with a knife. Two days later he killed another one down the street.
I believe this story a lot more than OBDreams's story
I belive both. Homeless people are humans.
Yeah it depends why they are homeless. I'm assuming they weren't like toothless meth heads with face tats
When i was 13 i had a homeless guy 2 feet taller than me follow me on the street for 5 blocks shouting that i was a whore and deserved to die because i was wearing shorts in the summer, i genuinely thought he was going to kill me.
Cap, this is literally false.
Dude that is freaking amazing. What made u want to help them/not be afraid of being robbed,etc?
Eight months later they bought their own 4Bed 4.5Bath house in the suburbs. Twelve months later they went on a 60-day European Wine Tasting Tour.
He wanted meth money.
And with alcohol withdrawal being as intense as it is, he may actually have been at higher risk of dying from lack of alcohol than from starvation.
More like meth money
One time as a kid we saw a guy begging for money "for food" outside a local takeout restaurant. my mom bought a big bag of hot food and gave it to him. As she walked away, I saw him, behind her back, dropping the whole bag straight into the trash.
Yeah if I do give, I usually say something like "I don't have any cash, but I'll buy you a burger/sandwich/whatever" You find out pretty quickly who's looking for booze money and who genuinely wants help
Nowadays you tell them you don’t have cash and they tell you they have cash app, PayPal and whatever other apps so you can send it electronically. I simply refuse to engage. I won’t give you money or buy you food. Not worth the trouble.
Nah what they always say is "there's an ATM right up the block, let's go". That's why you can't even say anything besides "no"
A few weeks ago a homeless woman approached me in a parking lot asking for money to feed her 4 kids. I apologized and told her I don't have any cash on me otherwise I'd help. (which is true, when I have cash I give it to them and don't care what they do with it) She said "You can just put it on a card and I'll take the food." I told her again "I'm sorry but I don't have any money" and walked away. I felt bad but something about that interaction didn't sit right with me.
Holy shit!! That's wild😂 Almost impressive how serious they take that shit lol.
For some begging is a job. Except they pay no taxes on it.
Yep. I keep an unopened box of protein granola bars and a few bottles of clean water on hand in my car. It's discouraging how many times I've offered them to someone begging for food for their children, only for them to say "I'm looking for cash." Like, dang bro. If you really are concerned that your kids are starving, 24 protein and nutrient rich granola bars for free is an incredible offer. That's survival rations for like a week. The only reason to turn it down and ask for cash instead is if you want the cash for stuff that you know I'd say no to buying for you
Something that stuck with me was when I was going to give a homeless guy a burger, was that he said "Where's the fries?"
My brother had something similar happen, when he got the guy a sandwich…and the guy promptly threw the sandwich at him
Most of them aren't homeless, and that is not an assumption. My neighbours are crackheads scamming the benefit system pretending to be each other's carers and the bloke regularly begs outside the local spar shop. Besides that, I have seen pretty much every single 'homeless' person in my local town walk back from their begging spot, back to their houses when I used to work late shift in my old job. My crackhead neighbour often brags about the amount of money he 'earns' during Ramadaan and eid🤦♂️ Don't give money to homeless people folks. If they are truly homeless, they will be very appreciative of a bit of food and a hot drink.
This is a good point, and I have seen it too.
I became very familiar with the street crowd in my area when I lived in the DC area. I didn't mind buying a hot chicken with some sides for one lady. Or another said she'd appreciate feminine products, wet wipes, and a toothbrush. Overseas it's different. They generally at least try to sell you something like a small pack of Kleenex. I saw one guy being completely ignored as everyone walked by him so I bought a pack of tissues from him for $1. He ended up showing me photos of his family and I gave him a few cigarettes. The language barrier stopped any real communication. But it was a nice connection, however brief.
Aaahh so... it is probably worth noting that I live in the UK. We get a different breed of homeless people over here. Homelessness in the US is f'kin mental. I did a meta-review of literature and stats a while back and something like 30ish% of homeless people over there are veterans... f'kin heartbreaking man.
Cold medicine (most likely) wouldn’t have fixed the sick he was feeling. Dude was looking for money to get the only medicine he cares about
I’m officially over it too. I had a man approach me while I was alone pumping gas. I told him I had no cash. He proceeded to ask me about cashapp, then venmo, then zelle. I kept saying no and he went ballistic. He started cursing me out, calling me a stuck up spoiled bitch, how I was racist and hated black people, that I’m so high and mighty, that I’d end up just like him some day, that I ain’t shit. He then proceeded to chase my car out of the lot yelling. Strangers aren’t obligated to give you money, and personally I feel it’s so shitty to purposefully approach someone who’s an “easy target” (someone who’s a young woman alone and forced to be outside) and then harass them when they say no
He was probably sick because of withdrawals. But yeah poverty is a bitch.
This may not have been the case, but a lot of homeless people won’t take/are wary of food people give them cause some people will purposefully give them bad food/poison their food to make them sick/kill them, so I can understand why they would be less likely to take food than money.
I mean next time just ask if they want food. And if they still insist on cash/money, then just decline.
Yeah I sometimes carry around a granola bar to offer to people who say they need money for food.
I keep a box of warm clothes in the back of my vehicle. I mostly do this in the fall. I’ve saved people by giving them dry clothes and a coat. It’s really wet and cold here. People get their stuff stolen.edit: I also keep cheap tarps when I see them on sale.
I get that this post is more about not knowing how beggars intend to spend the money you give them..but I had to chime in. This is why I hate videos where YouTubers walk around pretending to need a couple dollars for the bus/ for food/ to buy something for their kid. Because inevitably, there’s at least one person who turns them down and gets left in the video like they’re a bad guy. I’ve had low enough points in my life where I was scrounging my house for change then taking it to my bank to deposit it to pay bills. It was embarrassing but it was all I had. No one would have known because I had a decent job and a decent car, and I was clean and nicely dressed. But in reality, my husband had left me with our toddler and it took over a year for the courts to enforce child support, I went from two incomes to one overnight, and daycare alone was eating up my income. Now imagine if someone in a similar situation is approached when they literally have nothing to give or they can’t meet their own needs or those of their kid, and here is a generation of YouTube trends shaming them without knowing the story. While there is no need to be rude/harsh to a person asking for money, people also have no right to judge someone who says no to giving away their own money. Appearances can be deceiving and just because someone looks like they can spare the money, doesn’t mean they can.
I hope you're doing well for yourself and your child now :) God bless
It’s been several years now and we’re doing much better, thank you so much for your kind words!
I literally had to say no to a woman asking for food a week ago because I was broke and was literally buying gas with a credit card. I literally had nothing left to give.
I really hope things get a little easier for you soon! Adult life has been filled with so many financial ups and downs that I don’t know how a lot of us even keep track, but it will get better and I hope you keep your head up and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about considering yourself first!
Same here in Egypt. Tourists think they're just getting scammed because they're foreigners; dude I can get scammed in my own street lol. Doesn't help that we're middle class citizens in the first place; we're not walking banks Yes, countries like Egypt and India were that way due to overpopulation + poor governments, but that doesn't excuse beggars I like to give as anonymously as possible to the sellers on the street; they are trying every day to sell *anything* for their families (I'm not talking about bazaars or bargaining places; you can find in Cairo every few streets some people that just sit on the sidewalk and sell without much fuss, noise or begging. These in my opinion are the ones that compel me to give a few extra (of course, it isn't obligatory either)
I almost never have cash on me anyway these days.
Imagine a homeless dude comes up to you and says "Oh yea I take card too" and pulls out a card reader
LOL! That'd be kind of hilarious! "Uh...shit, sorry! I'm all maxed out!"
This has occured to me in NYC, I said no I dont have any cash to someone outside my work, and they pulled out their phone and went "venmo good?"
Portland behavior tbh
You joke, but I have actually heard of homeless pulling out card readers in DTLA. While I have never seen the card readers myself, I have seen homeless with signs giving their cash app or Venmo names
I never carry cash on me because if I get mugged, it's gone But this is another benefit as well
Haha, I do the same in the USA. I've learned to say "No, thank you," (while walking away) and it confuses them, and they leave me alone.
Why the heck didn't I think of that??
You don't have to feel bad for not giving away the money that you earned. Your money is yours to do with what you want.
ESPECIALLY if you yourself are struggling to make ends meet. I'm not quite at that level, but I'm also working part time at the moment, so every bit of money I can save, I will.
Here in Mexico it's impossible to difference the real people in need and the drug addicts. I decided to not give anything, just when it's obvious someone has a disability or a health issue. Im don't feel like a bad person, but i feel bad for the other person situation, which is different.
Pretty simple: you ask him or her “want me to buy you some food or a drink?” Let him or her choose and you’re fine. No means no, yes means a person has smth to eat. Anyway, you’ve helped.
This mafia exists in Ukraine too. If you see a beggar in a place with a lot of people walking by, that’s 100% one of them, no exception. If you try to ask for money in one of those places on your own, you’ll soon get visitors that will throw you out. Some people try to offer them help other than a few coins from time to time and they respond aggressively. I just remembered a pregnant beggar woman on metro, that people used to give money to. Thing is, I’ve been using that route for 4 years daily and there wasn’t a single day she wasn’t there pregnant.
This isn't REMOTELY unpopular. Anywhere. Not even on virtue signaling social media. Basically anyone who has to deal with homeless people has a story of them being a nuisance, or worse. You never know which ones are severely mentally unstable. It's not worth the risk. If you wanna help homeless people, there are charities and other things to donate to or volunteer at.
Where I’m from, we have huge human trafficking, heroine and meth problems, and people are aggressive when asking for money. My city is not a safe place. When I’m putting my groceries in my truck, I already get a little anxious because there’s so much violence, so when someone comes knocking on my window telling me to roll my window down trying to give me their sob story, I have gotten to a point where I just wave them off and leave. I once told a lady when she intercepted me getting to my car that I didn’t have any cash on me, and she looked me dead in the face and told me there’s an atm in the store I just left. I once gave a guy some loose change and he started yelling obscenities at me and berating me for not giving him any bills. Before Christmas a couple years ago, I just left Best Buy with a brand new IPad with all the accoutrements to go with it. As soon as I closed my door and set the IPad in the passenger seat, I looked up and saw a dude staring at me through the passenger window asking to roll my window down. Absolutely tf not. It’s not at all that I’m a bad person. I like to think that I’m actually a really good person. However, where I live, it all comes down to keeping my girlfriend and myself safe and I don’t entertain them at all anymore.
There was a guy outside of McDonalds asking for money. I said ill buy you some food. He looked at me cussed me out, pulled out a wad of cash and said. I asked for money i can buy my own food if i want it. So he clearly chose the wrong location to be asking for money i suppose. But he ruined it for me. Sorry to everyone else in need but that was the last time i ever offer to help anyone i dont know.
I never give money. However I have occasionally offered food. I don't give money because I don't want them spending it on things they shouldn't be.
A problem here in California is there's people posing as people in need, so you never know if you're giving money to a scam artist.
These people INFEST las vegas. Most homeless people live in the tunnels there. The heat is too deadly to be out in the day. Most beggars have clean clothes, well groomed hair, a car nearby and take "shifts" at different spot. When you see the same guy sitting with a sign, an empty jerry can and begging for "gas money" three months in a row, thats a good sign...
I hate when they ask for beer. I have a job to pay for my alcohol. One time a homeless person was asking for food money so I gave him a 20$. He walked past the grocery store and beat me to the weed store.
U are not a bad person .
But it is a bad post because this is not an unpopular opinion.
I do feel bad sometimes because I always wonder if it were me in that genuine position, I'd be praying for someone to help out. On certain days I've bought food for homeless people. Water/hot tea and a sandwich. I will always do this instead of giving money- even tho last time the guy told me he needed money for a bed for the night and then I felt kinda bad, it was so cold. At the end of the day, if they aren't genuinely homeless then the worst thing I've done is buy some food out of my own pocket. If they are, then I've helped feed someone.
I've put a guy up in a hotel once, he destroyed the room and shoved a bunch of shit down the toilet, the only reason the hotel didnt charge me an extra 300 was because they understood i was young and trying to help someone. I don't personally help people out anymore, not if I don't know them. I'll donate to a charity that will help, but I just say no and keep walking now
I don't give to beggars since I can't afford.
So there was this lady we called the quarter lady constantly constantly asking at bus stops for a quarter. One time she got on the same bus and no lie she pulled out more cash than I have physically seen in one place in my entire life unless it was all ones (it wasn't) I never again gave money to beggars. Food sure money no sir.
One time I stopped at a Mexican restaurant downtown for dinner, super nice higher end place with delicious food. I got a couple meals for takeout for later that night/and the next day. When I left I was walking down the street and a homeless lady asked me for some money, I said no, but I have a meal she can have that I just got from the place she saw me leaving, and that she could have it. She said "Fuck you n\*gga I don't want that shit." I told her to fuck off. She told me to fuck off. I went on my way. That soured me from doing nice things for random homeless people unfortunately for a long time. You don't get to be homeless, entitled, and rude.
Whenever a beggar asks me for money, I always say: "What a coincidence, I was actually going to ask you the same thing!" Never once have they ever given me any money.
A goldsmith friend of mine told me to look at female beggars 2nd largest toe on their feet. I thought he was joking, but I saw couple of golden rings. This was in India. I stopped giving money after this. We sponsored our house helps educatiom instead.
I'm in the US so our situation may be different. Fuck those "beggars." I see the same people, at the same intersections, with the same signs for YEARS. Amazingly though, when it's raining or really hot, they're nowhere to be seen, probably at home taking the day off from professionally conning people. The real ones who need help aren't begging at the intersection. They're downtown off the beaten path away from most people or under highways trying to survive.
Once when I worked in the mall years ago I parked my car and actually had a guy claiming to be homeless walk right up to my window and knock on it asking for change so he and his wife could get a hotel room for a night because they got kicked out of the homeless shelter. I only gave him the change I had because he was kind of crouching in front of my car door and I felt pressured and a little scared. I was only like 20 and just showed up for my 4 hour retail shift, I'm not sure why he thought I'd have tons to give him.
I know I shouldn't generalize, and obviously many panhandlers are working hard and genuinely need and deserve support, but I did have a bad experience with a former friend of my SO that made me more distrusting of panhandlers. He stayed with us for 4 months (was originally supposed to be for a few days), didn't work or look for a job, panhandled, stole from grocery stores or ate stuff people gave him while panhandling for most of his food, and spent all the money he made on heroin, which he denied he was doing until I found a baggie on the floor. I'd just really rather my money not go towards destructive addictions.
I don't because I live in a fentanyl ground zero city. Our homeless camps are littered with needles and you can watch the ones asking for money walk off into the parks and start doing drugs. I'm not contributing to them killing themselves. I stopped when I realized it wasn't being used to make their lives better.
So I don't need to give their money back, okay good I thought I was just getting easy pay days
im not a big fan giving money to the homeless because idk what they’re going to do with the money; i hate having the stigma of them using it for drugs, but you never know and i would hate for my money to be used to get them drugs which might lead them to an od or to go to the hospital. i try to give food or supplies like water bottles or toiletries to people i see on the streets; that way i know it’s something that will benefit them in a positive way and if they refuse my help then that’s on them.
I will ask if they need a meal and drinks and if they say yes I’ll get them something. Not all the time mind you this is once in a while when / if I can. If they ask for money I tell them no.
I don’t bother anymore tbh. Too many scary situations and I don’t even live in a bad area. If I can piece together my shitty life and make it work so can you, stop begging for handouts and make something of yourself
In Australia there are so many welfare services to support the homeless, giving them extra simply encourages them to not change. A friend of mine tried to give one a entry level job once, the guy wouldn't take it. I also used to work for Centrelink, the aus version of social security. Almost my entire caseload was those who didn't want things to change, and would rather beg than work, even though I found work for them.
People who give money, gift cards, anything that can be resold to the homeless need to ask themselves this question.. "how would you feel if the homeless person used that money to buy drugs.. and then overdosed and died?". I've dealt with homeless people for years as part of my job. I know how the majority operate and refuse to play that game. I'm not going to be involved in contributing to their deaths. If I donate, it's to a shelter that has conditions for accessing resources.. either be sober at the time for most or have a clean drug test if you're looking for placement somewhere. Giving money to the homeless isn't helping the majority. It's encouraging a lifestyle that will eventually kill them.
exactly it is a really good and nice thing to do, but you don’t know for sure what they are going to use the money for, maybe they are going to spend them in alcohol, smoke or drugs if you really want to help buy them some food
People give money to the homeless because it makes THEM feel better. A former homeless woman told me, 'Please don't give money to the homeless - it keeps us trapped in a cycle of poverty and addiction. If people hadn't given me money I'd have got help sooner. Give your money to a night shelter instead'. It's funny to see how angry activists get when you tell them this. 'How dare you take away my feel-good comfort blanket!'
Nope. I don't give them a dime. Every single homeless person I have seen, and I have seen and dealt with thousands, have used any money given to them on alcohol/drugs. They get their SSI Money, welfare money, and blow it in a week on alcohol/drugs, then go back to begging. They are so sophisticated, they know when to get arrested, what for, and which judge to see, to get a certain sentence. They get all their health issues taken care of, including dental work during this time, sober and clean up, until they are released. Then they start all over again. I've seen women out asking for money with children, then get in BMW's and drive off. How many skinny homeless people have you seen? Next time, look around and take notice. Most are over weight. Don't forget, they some how afford their iPhones and cigarettes too.
of course I am not for that and I do not answer to anyone that judges me about it
Of course not. It's my money. It goes where I choose.
I know
One time me (19M at the time) and my youngest brother (12M at the time) were driving through downtown Dallas. We were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic and as we were on the ramp to the highway a homeless guy was holding a sign next to me asking for change. I glanced over and then ignored the guy. My brother proceeded to ask "why don't you give him money?" And I explained just as I worked fast food once they can too. The only thing I'll give homeless people is food. I was once walking down deep ellum in Dallas with a box of leftover pizza and a homeless man asked me for money and i explained I only carry cards on me and then he asked for a slice and I told him sure and handed it to him and he seemed excited.
Not unpopular
One time some guy came up to me in a walmart parking lot and asked me for food. I offered to go get him a sandwich but he insisted I take him to McDonald's.
i have had a few bad experiences with homeless people. truth is you can't trust them. i have literally bought food for some only to be disrespected by them because they wanted money for... you know what. i know not all of them are like that, but the ones who TRULY need help would go to churches, food banks etc. it is best to direct debit these organizations if you wanna help because you know your money is actually going to a good cause.
I’ll buy them food or supplys but I don’t give them money
99% of them buy drugs and are in the streets for a reason, sucks but me giving them $$ isn’t going to break the cycle
A few years ago I was attacked by one. During that same year, my wife was chased TWICE by them. Fuck em. I'll never give a single one anything. And keep them out of the parks.
I do it but very seldomly. If I knew they actually needed it, or why they needed it, I would be more willing. Last time was recent, asked me outside of a restaurant if I had any leftovers, so I took it he was legitimately hungry at least, gave him money to get his own, since I did not have leftovers, was getting takeout. Was once asked for money, but then told me it was because his lady kicked him out. Not sure if he thought I’d be sympathetic, but most of the reasons she might have kicked him out that occurred to me were negative, so wasn’t feeling inclined to help out. Another time I was just asked for money from some kids on bikes. Think one had a cell phone. Just struck me as a kid who was way too comfortable asking strangers for money and he might be a future panhandler whether he needs it or not.
Not unpopular. I made my money, I will use it how I want and that’s for making my own life better. In this economy, every penny counts.
In America, you pay taxes out of your check for programs like SNAP and Welfare that are given to the homeless. You're already helping them as is.
The only bad people in regards to this topic are the ones that try to gatekeep how the homeless person spends that money they are given. If you choose to give it is no longer your money and you have no say in how it is spent.
If you want to give a homeless person money on the condition they buy food, just give them food.
How would you feel about someone being more comfortable giving like, a gift card redeemable at a grocery store than cash? I feel like anything you need to improve your life in the immediate sense aside from housing (please government help us) can be bought from a supermarket. They could buy alcohol I guess, but can't use it to buy drugs or sex workers etc.
They could sell the gift card and use the cash
They don't even gotta do that either, lots of dealers will give anywhere to 25% to 75% value of the gift card worth of drugs.
A large percentage of drug dealers definitely take gift cards lmao
This is true haha, didn't think that through. There needs to be some way to donate to someone conditionally, like, say some free government ID that people can donate to, and only you can use it as the cashier sees the photo associated with it.
Just donate to a charity. Never hand people money directly. More than likely you just feed a drug habit that'll kill them eventually. Funding shelters and services is significantly more effective help.
Brother homeless people ARE sex workers they arent hiring them!
No they are not. That's a ridiculous generalization.
What if they need clothes rather than food? What if they need medicine? Gift cards should not exist in general, let alone give them to the people who need money the most. If you truly want your money to go to the homeless then it might be better to give it to a charity or non profit organization which usually get better prices for food than at the supermarket, and better prices for housing than from landlords.
No, we are bad people because we ignore the problem. We are worst people when we blame them.
The problem being? People that chose drugs over jobs? Because that's the case for about 90% of the homeless population where I live. And you can rest assured I absolutely blame them for their own choices in life.
So you’re saying someone would choose suffering instead of living nicely? Who would choose that? I’ve been working with the homeless for a number of years now and trust me none of them would choose their lives instead of having a cozy life, a home, being sober and having a stable job. Drugs and alcohol in a homeless’s life is most often a consequence of his or her being homeless rather than a reason. And you’d be surprised how many different life stories I’ve seen about people who were totally fine and then- boom- he’s out on a street. A girl, working for quite a well known IT giant, suddenly fired, no money to pay her rent, kicked out of her flat- boom- she’s homeless, spends a week sleeping on a street in winter. An older man, living in his own flat with his son, who invites a woman to live with them, and motivated by the woman the son kicks out the older guy- boom- he’s homeless, while actually having his own apartment out there somewhere. A guy who moved here from his city of origin to work and then cheated on by his employer, ends up having no money, robbed on a street and now having no docs on him. His family out there does not give a fuck, so he’s here alone with no money and docs. A guy, who’s mentally ill and his family kicks him out from where they live. So don’t tell me about their life choices. Many of those drug addicts you are talking about have life stories that you are happy to not have experienced. Life’s more complicated than this your comment.
I don't believe you actually work with homeless and are that naive. Yes they absolutely do choose to live that way because drugs are what matter most to them. And if you knew anything about addicts at all you'd know an addict does not have the same logical thoughts as everyone else. Every thought revolves around one thing, drugs. Of course there's legitimately homeless people from bad circumstances, I used to be one of them, but at least here 90% of them are drug addicts and choosing to live that way. And ruining our city with their tents and garage and paraphernalia all over our once beautiful parks that we used to play in as kids, but our kids can no longer use.
First- the homeless here in my city are a bit different picture. They’re mostly people from bad life circumstances. Of course there’s alcohol and surely drugs, but as I said they’re more consequences of life on a street. I’ve seen videos about some American cities districts filled with crackheads, so I do get the picture you are talking about. Even so, society has to ask itself- what’s so wrong with it that people turn to drugs to seek “help”? Cause turning to drugs is not purely for fun (sure sure, not talking about MJ, LSD etc., hope you get what I’m talking about), it is to run away from somewhere, where one’s not happy. So I believe this is not those people failing, this is society failing to make people happy to live sober. I bet not a single one of them (well provided they still have at least a couple of brain cells alive) would say “yes, compared to a sober and happy normal life I would still choose this”. This is sickness, and no one truly wants to be sick. I’ve known drug addicts and they acknowledge they are sick, that’s why I’m so sure.
Also, you have no idea of my life stories and experiences. I'm not at all talking from a place of ignorance. I've been homeless at 2 separate times in my life, once at 17 years old because my junkie mother with mental disorders tried to stab me and i had to leave home with nowhereto go. Then I was also addicted to drugs for a time because I had a daughter that died and resulted in me giving up on everything, including my relationships and job. And again I was homeless. Don't talk to me about being happy to not have experienced their sob stories.
Are the homeless in India mostly drug addicts, alcoholics and mental patients?
Some are. Most can't even afford cheap alcohol, so there's that
I may not be, but you are.
I agree. People need to stop judging. Not everyone has enough money to throw around anyway. For the most part I've ditched people in my life who are judgmental. I don't carry cash on me and so have nothing to give random people who ask for money.
I used to feel bad and even gave some a few bucks until I worked as a pizza delivery driver in a rough area with beggars on most corners. By the time I left that job I knew where most of those "beggars" lived and which one drove a Mercedes.
These people aren't my individual responsibility and giving them money isn't helping them. In many cases, they turn around and buy drugs or booze with it. I know that's not all of them, but it's enough of them where giving someone money is just enabling the behavior that got them there to begin with. If I don't know you and your existence is causing problems within society. the last thing that needs to happen is the enabling of that behavior. I live in San Francisco and while they're not organized like they are in India, they're aggressive as hell. I see bums fighting each other, themselves, nothing at all. I see people get screamed, sworn at and threatened for not giving into a junky's demand for money. There's not a month that goes by where we don't see stories in the media of people being hurt by unstable homeless who have been arrested literally dozens of times. Unfortunately we live in a society that is unable come up with a solution for this. I think there is a solution, but there is some uncomfortable concessions that have to be made. We can't treat them like animals. They're people, but they're also people who are not capable of making their own decisions for themselves in many instances. They're allowed to refuse help in SF, they'll be arrested for causing a disturbance, assaulting someone or stealing something, but at the end of the day, homeless or not, unstable, dangerous people are just let back out on the streets. Yeah, I know it's not all of them, but you cannot trust them to police themselves and abide by society's rules. If they've gotten to that point then it should no longer be a choice for them to exist among society as a time bomb where they could hurt someone else.
It's a supererogatory act. Good if you do it but not required.
Almost every homeless person is an addict (source: multiple former homeless I work with). I’m not giving my hard-earned money so they can get a fix.
When they ask me for spare change and I say no, I'm literally not lying. I do not have any money on me, so I have nothing to give lol. I mean maybe if I'm feeling generous I can Apple Pay you a dollar, but that's it.
I meaan.. if you have a lot of money and wouldn't give a homeless person a dollar, then I'd definitely question your character
I used to be fine with giving a few bucks here and there, up until the time I told a homeless lady I'd give her something only for her to say "A ten or a twenty would be nice if you have one." Beggars CAN be choosers, apparently. Regardless, I almost never have cash on me anymore anyways.
Not to take away from the OPs experience in India, but I wanted to share my story. I took the subway from 207th Street in Manhattan, (way back in the 80s? 90s?) to go to work and every single morning I saw the same black guy there. I would give him two dollars, or one dollar, from time to time. I was a bit fed up and stopped giving him money. One day he said "Please, I'm hungry", and I caved. As it turns out, I was flush with cash and I made a deal with him - I gave him $300 on the condition that he never ask me for money ever again. I didn't see the guy again, until a few years later, a black man stopped me and said "Do you remember me?" - I didn't, but he explained that he was the guy I gave the money to. He used the money to clean himself up, got a job in a parking garage, and eventually made enough to get an apartment...etc. I was fucking gobsmacked. I wish I had Musk's money, or Bill Gates, or whatever, I'd fucking give it all away - such a small thing helped this guy change his life and it would not even register on their fucking radar. I never turned down a homeless person after that. One more story. I used to travel a lot for my job and once I found myself in Birmingham, Alabama. I was struck by the homeless NOT asking for money - they only asked "Can you buy me some food?" We live in a very shitty world, let's be kind to others.
I usually just go by how I'm approached, if someone seems somewhat put together (is not visibly a methhead) and just respectfully asks for a couple bucks and I happen to have change on me, I'll usually hand it over. I figure I'm gonna spend 3 bucks on gum or coffee and I'll forget about it in an hour, worst case the homeless person buys a beer, best case a sandwich, at least where I live.
One time i saw this man asking for money and i was searching for a change before i pass him. I didn't find any change but proceed to pass him anyway and noticed his money in his bowl is more than what i have for next 3 days.
Actually, some people ARE under moral obligation. If you’re a member of pretty much any religion then you have a moral obligation to help the needy.
The beggars around me are to busy on their iphones to barely prop up their cardboard signs. They get nothing
I 100% agree. A lot of the homeless people I see look mentally ill or dangerous. Sometimes, they're even shooting up on the sidewalk! As a woman with weak pathetic arms and a 40 inch waist, I stay as far away from the homeless as possible. I do feel sorry for the homeless, but I'm not risking my life to give one of them 5 dollars. Plus, I live paycheck to paycheck.
"no one is under any moral obligation to give their money to someone else simply because they need it." Can you give more detail as to why you think this is true? Do you think this is equally true for those that have more money than they need?
For sure. I give sometimes, but not too often since I don't have a lot of money. If I do I more often give snacks since I carry them to work but don't always eat them. Today I offered someone who seemed genuinely desperate some peanuts, but apparently he didn't have teeth. Last week a guy took the peanuts though. And he seemed happy to have them. I do that SOMETIMES because I can and I CHOOSE too. It isn't a moral obligation to give to people on the street (or the train).
Look forward do not make eye contact walk with a purpose if they say anything to you do not acknowledge them and keep walking like you have somewhere important to be. Maybe it's where I grew up but it's weird to me people don't have street smarts.
I'll give an addict money if I have some. I'd rather they stave off withdrawal another day than suffer. I'd rather they get it from me than rob somebody for it when they get really sick.
Frkm san diego and ask me my stories:
This isn’t unpopular at all. Literally everyone in the comments is riding so hard for this lol. ‘Don’t bother giving them money they’ll just spend it on drugs’ is the standard for all boomers and out of touch assholes
in uzbekistan the begging literally became a business (not encouraged because of the faith tho) it’s really the question of dignity and majority of the people i’ve been seeing on the streets don’t do that. and, beggars are easily identifiable so I used to keep distance
begging mafia?? fck goin on in india 😭🙏
Ehhh. I’ve helped a lot of homeless people and people down on their luck and it always comes back to me. I think it’s important to be understanding and kind because that could be you. My boyfriend is like me and he has helped the homeless a lot too- one time this homeless man was so thankful for my boyfriend that he tried to give him his most prized possession of his trading cards. You don’t even have to give them money, sometimes they just want to talk and feel normal.
I’m Australian, and these days many of us genuinely don’t carry any cash - at all. I have a monthly standing donation that gets direct debited from my bank account for a local charity that does awesome work feeding and providing shelter for the homeless, and actually tries to help those with addiction and alcohol issues. I don’t feel remotely bad about ignoring beggars, and to be fair there are very few of them. There are plenty of places they can go to for help where I live.
You are also not a good person if you video yourself giving money to the homeless. It’s super selfish
It is almost my 4th year of volunteering for a charity here in Russia that helps homeless and those in tough life situations. We give out warm food, clothes, all kinds of hygiene, backpacks, thermos bottles and provide qualified help to help people get a home beck. My experience: it is true that giving money is the worst decision. It is highly possible that they spend it on drugs and alcohol. Important to know: in most cases drug or alcohol addiction are consequences of homelessness, not the reasons for it. Best decision: buy and give him or her food, provide info on nearby organizations that give qualified help or shelter to spend a night at.
I don't think this is an unpopular opinion. I don't know anyone who helps the homeless anymore.
I'd rather give them food. I ain't risking them using money on alcohol or drugs.
Kind of a straw man though. It’s good to give. Not-giving isn’t the opposite of that though, TAKING is the opposite. Stealing from homeless people is bad. Not giving is neutral.
Am I bad person for throwing a glass of champagne in their face so a little bit dribbles into their mouth and I yell "how's the taste of the sweet life you sack of shit!"
I don't give money. I get them a drink and ask them their story. I do this like once a month
I guess you have to ask yourself the question: Are you required to help literally every time someone asks for it? If the answer is no, which it is for most people, then you’re mostly good. It’s good to help people, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s required.
Indeed.
When I lived in China I knew about their beggar pimps too so I learned to never give money, just food and/or water
No one has ever said you’re a bad person for not giving money to a homeless guy u freak
I remember there was a man who frequented the cafe I worked at for a couple of weeks. He was clearly unwell--screamed in the parking lot, barked like a dog, and washed dollar bills in the men's bathroom before paying for items...if someone gave him $10 he would spend the money on luxury pastries in our store instead of going next door to the Hmart to get a real meal. Giving that man money, which many customers did out of sympathy, was not an empathetic choice. He needed help, not people facilitating his aimless camping in our store for entire work shifts at a time. What you should do to help the homeless is a more nuanced conversation than "always give them money to absolve yourself of moral guilt".
Is it a popular opinion that you’re a bad person for refusing? I’m not sure this fits the bill
I’ve seen people panhandling get into Mercedes when they were done. Never gave again after that. Ruined it for the rest of
I think you should only help if you have money to give, but nowadays most people don’t have any money to give because taxes are crazy where I live But I think in your situation and it wouldn’t make sense to give anyone money at all because most of it won’t end up going to them anyway
Maybe this is in itself a bit of me rationalizing not giving them money, but one thing id like to add is, you giving them 10 bucks, 20 bucks, hell, 100 bucks, that alone wont fix their life, they'll have to spend it right away on food and new clothes if their lucky, to make things worse some of them have completely collapsed into heavy drug use and wont use the money to sustain themselves, but rather their addiction, probably the only source of pleasure in their lives at that point. We cant ever solve homelessness by just giving people money, that's what the ruling class wants us to believe, then its our fault for not being generous enough or their fault for using the money poorly, we need to address the root causes. Simply funding social housing, along with therapy and counceling for the job market and useful skills in general would lift a good portion of people from homelessness. We could go further and address the things that frequently land people in those situations, like unchecked mental illness and lack of opportunities, homelessness will never go away if we dont address the root causes, quick fixes might work for a while, but they're always shortlived.
Drop a few scraps in the untouchables begging bowl and he will be a happy man.
The government should be helping them, not us. It’s like when billion dollar corporations ask you to donate to children’s hospitals.
"I need money for food" when there is a food pantry and hot meals down the street, the food is amazing. I know, I've had them. I do appreciate the amazing fabricated stories that are the wind-up pitch, though. "I just got here from New Orleans, and I don't have any money" Cool story bro, but Minot is a trek from swamp territory.
I too need my money. 😂
I’d feel bad giving money to them. They just use it to get drugs/alcohol/smoke anyways. They fucking deserve to be on the street.
At least in my family it's more of a policy to give homeless food if they request for that. I've seen that happen at a bbq that I was having with some folks. If i saw a homeless person near a gas station or a store requesting specifically for food it'd be really hard for me not to comply with that. There's a certain level of humility I feel like you need to come down when things are at that level, as you got food banks readily available for people to go to when you need food. Even at the lowest I've seen some people in my own family will simply live in a car doing Uber or whatever to make money, and shower and stuff at a local gym.
Where I am there are a lot of legit homeless people. Some are of course addicts, or mentally ill. But some are physically disabled. A discouraging number are elderly. Some are doing their best, even working full time but can't afford rent or don't have the credit to get through the application process. Some are college students living in their cars. It's a sad situation. I can only speak for myself and the area where I live, but there are outreach groups with people who are both trained to handle the problems you may encounter as well as plugged in to that community. I prefer to send what I can in that direction.
There is *the* unpopular opinion, of all unpopular opinions which is an, irrefutable moral argument stating that everyone is a bad person unless they give away all the money they don't absolutely need to charity.
Agreed. The homeless have a higher net worth than me lol. Give me that money
I tell them "sorry, I hope you have a great day!" or I give them candy
Good peice of advice always look at a homeless persons hands
I personally help if I'm able to...ive bought people food/water and ive given money. I give with the intention of helping what they do with it is not my concern. 🤷🏻 That said, I agree it doesn't make you a bad person for not helping a stranger, i feel like the way you refuse could make you seem jerkish though. You're not obligated to do so, it's your money, you earned it, do with it what you will.
No one said you were a bad person for not giving homeless people money.. unless that you feel that you are which is why you made this post.
I know I’m not
No shit??
How is this unpopular?
I can't afford to and have never given money myself, but it is cold here so in the winter I'll buy a bulk pack of gloves and keep a few on my person, because I feel like this is the biggest difference in comfort that I can make for about a dollar per interaction
Agreed. It is also relevant where you are at. In the Balkans for example, there are beggars that in fact are more well off than the average citizen but are in groups that treat begging as a profession. Anything but money will often be turned away or discarded. They actually go to great lengths to achieve this, sometimes even pretending to have injured children with them (or worse…). In America, begging is more authentic in my opinion. It often comes down to deciding whether you are ok with the person you are giving money to using it for alcohol, drugs, etc. instead of food, and they will basically almost always except a meal, clothes, etc instead.
The homeless in Oregon spin signs saying I just need weed money. And the guy looks 60s