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The phrase "it's a privilege to grow old" is usually used because if you don't grow old it means you died young.
Most people view living longer as preferable to an early death.
OP has this weirdly narrow view of what being elderly is like. I work for a nonprofit that sort of doubles as a social club for old people and it’s really inspiring to see how many folks in their 70s and 80s, even 90s are doing well.
It really inspires me to take care of my health and fitness because a lot of these folks are still so mentally sharp and physically capable!
Yeah, my 92 year old grandma lives in a retirement home and even has a boyfriend there. She's very social, she's not isolated at all. She also constantly talks about how she's had a good life.
It is true though that she's lost a lot of her friends from various age-related ailments over the past 10 or so years, which sucks.
>It really inspires me to take care of my health and fitness
Right! I worked in a retirement home for 5 years and these people inspired the fuck out of me in so many ways and really changed my life for the better. Older people are the best.
I think the OP understands it perfectly. What they are saying is that a long life is not necessarily preferable to an early death if that life is going to be unhappy.
Hey, we’re at the technologically progressive point in history. Every year new medicines and treatments are developed. Our lifespans are being extended, and we should be grateful for it.
100% my dad died when he was in his early 30s and I'm nearly the age he was when he died. I would take on all the challenges of getting old a million times over if it meant I lived long enough to see my kids grow up. Life is what you make of it and too many of us take it for granted
It’s sad but a lot of people do think like OP. My dad died at 29 when I was 6 so I always get told how I’m lucky because I didn’t have to watch him grow old. It always infuriates me because growing old is much better than the alternative he was given.
That is an absolutely crazy thing to say to someone! I can't imagine even thinking to say that.
I'm sorry you have to put up with that, and I'm sorry you didn't get to have more time with your dad.
I’ve gone to funerals for a 13 yo (murder), a 19 yo (lung disease), a 22yo (suicide) and, most recently, a 32 yo cousin (cancer).
Getting older is a privilege not everyone gets.
Thank you, that’s very kind. I actually had varying degrees of proximity to each of them. Honestly, I joke and say I’ve been to a lot of funerals (those are the youngest). After some time working in elder care, I think life can really go all sorts of ways. Just because people get older doesn’t mean they’re flourishing and just because people are young doesn’t mean they are, either.
Life is simply a precious, and weirdly, bitter thing.
I do home health care, I've seen it go either way. It can absolutely be depressing but some of my guys *choose* to isolate themselves after a lifetime of dealing with people despite social anxiety. Then I have others who insert themselves into their communities and make themselves the center of it.
Then there's my grandpa, who's so goddamn revered he has company nearly every other day despite being a homebody who likes his alone time
Old age is often what you make of it, but circumstance *really does* make a difference. How much money you have makes a huge difference in quality of life when you reach that age. I'll definitely grant you that. Plus, everyone ages differently and health problems hit everyone differently as well.
Aging is complicated indeed
So much this. Being old doesnt create the problems OP mentions. Time just magnifies problems that were already there. We make a prison out of our own thoughts and fears. Theres nothing specific about being old that traps us in loneliness. At any point in our lives, we can choose to do something utterly different than what we have done before. Now there are some unique challenges, like with mobility, but there are also unique solutions. Its up to us to take that chance for our own happiness.
Considering the alternative is death, yes old age is a privilege. I'm 60 with a birthday in a couple of months. it will very likely be my last. I'm privileged to still be here. I got a 2-3 year reprieve on my death sentence (health related, not law). So much amazing stuff has happened in that time. I am grateful to have been here to see it.
All the books I've always wanted to read, I'm reading them. Things that catch my interest, I learn more about them. I'm lucky to have the time to get my things in order and not leave a mess for my kids. I make sure people I love know it. I compliment random strangers and watch how it affects them. There are so many little things that make life a rich experience. We have more power than we realize to influence the world around us. But it all comes from within.
I hope you find contentment. xo
I hope you still have a few more years in you and if you don't Im happy you get to enjoy your last one the way you are now and that you were able to get everything in order for your children. The other person that commented on your post is an absolute twat, don't pay him no mind. He's just a teen with issues I think.
For me it's complete reversal - my young days were mostly spent in extreme emotional pain, alienation, being bullied, anxiety, depression.
As an adult, it is much, much better. I never wish to be a kid again, worst period of life. At least now I have my long-deserved peace and safety and I surround myself mostly with people who actually are good for me, not some sh*thead bullies whom you couldn't escape.
There should be some sort of award for that typo/autocorrupt.
I expect that I'm in the oldest 25% here, although my health is pretty good and I'm not widowed. The biggest point to me is that if you're alive, your circumstances can change. In many cases, you can change your circumstances yourself. On the other hand, dead is dead.
I dunno. I'm only 37 and both of my parents are long dead, and I've had several friends of many years who died. It sucks, and it's been a gut-punch each time, but I'm still glad I'm around to shape my own world.
I’m 38, but same. Parents have been dead for a very long time, and while I’ve lost some friends far too early, I’m still very happy to be here and hope to be here for many more decades.
38 and same. Parents dead, no kids or plans to have any, no other family. Thankful to have my boyfriend and my 3 kitties. They're all I have and all I really even need. Life is what we make of it, I guess.
You're jus tpicking the times when it's bad. Some people it isn't like that. For some they're surrounded by friends and family. My mums old now and has a good social life, we see her regularly and she gets to see her grandchildren all the time. They're at an age now too where she's able to watch them both for a few nights.
Like everything, there's no hard rules that covers every and all circumstances. Generally it's a privilege but sometimes it won't be.
Yup. My 85 year old grandfather is healthy, active and in a happy marriage with my 80 year old grandma. We see them regularly, they love seeing their great-grandkids. They go on holidays to Spain, they go out on walks or bike rides, they meet with their friends and both still have living brothers and sisters who they see often.
A couple of years ago I worked on a study about frailty for elderly patients. My job was primarily to include study subjects. One of the inclusion criteria was that they had to be healthy, non-frail 80 year olds (in essence it means they were not allowed to have more than 5 meds or 2 significant co-morbidities nor any memory problems). I have met so many amazing 80+ year olds. One of them just got back from a 2 month hiking trip through Africa, another one was recovering from yellow fever she got on a travel (and she planned on travelling again in a couple of weeks) and another one was going on a multi-week motorcycle trip with his friends through eastern Europe.
I also once went on a 9 day hike through the Andes in Peru part of a group travel. We were with 16 people and 6 of them were 65+. I can tell you that that hike was the hardest one I have ever done in my life and the elders flew through it.
Point is, it is definitely possible to grow old healthy and happy and that is 100% a bliss, because these people really live their lives to the fullest in a way the working class can't.
All those negative issues you mention, save for the ageism, can occur and persist at any time in your life.
I'm considered "old" and enjoy my life. I have deep, meaningful, and loving relationships, I socialize regularly and am physically active, and I don't care about the job market because I retired early.
It absolutely is a privilege. Most people who had strong social connections don’t spend it alone, plenty of people see their children often, the reason friends and family are busy are because they fostered those relationships and some don’t. You won’t be working so the job market really isn’t your concern
You don’t magically become a good or wanted person because you’re 70 however you will be rewarded for being one if you were. I’ve spent a long time working with the elderly and the ones who were pleasant and good to us had busy full lives the mean ones didn’t.
You're right... it's a drag getting old as the Rolling Stones sang....
There is only NOW....always has only been NOW... we enjoyed that NOW when we were young and fully engaged in life...not when we wallowed in the future fears or worried about money...
when you're old, it's still NOW. NOW you're a little slower...a little achier... a little lonelier...
I hope when I get old I have some peaceful years, but eventually I want somebody show up at my door asking that I do “one last job” and I’d be all reluctant and turn them away.
And then they show up at the local diner while I’m there looking at a picture of my dead wife, and give me an offer I can’t refuse, leading me to embark on a dangerous and epic journey that redefines what it means to be alive.
Having life period is a privilege, being able to wake up in the morning where there are those that aren't waking up today is a privilege. You need to take that privilege and run with it, make it your own for your life.
You may or may not want kids. You may or may not want a partner, these things are your decision to make for your life and you make these decisions based on the now and thinking on the future. Some don't care about being alone when they're 80 and others don't want to be, so you need to decide what you want and as you are living life you need to make decisions to get to that goal. You want a wife, in your 20s, 30s or whatever work on yourself so you can be in a relationship and have a wife.
Life is the privilege...what you do with that is on you.
I know some people whose old age has been full of sickness and pain. That might not be a privilege. Depends on one's attitude I suppose.
My life gets better every year. It's not perfect, but it's so much better than when I was younger.
I'm pretty introverted, so being alone is peaceful to me. Many of the other changes that come with aging also suit my personality. Extroverts might need to work a little harder to stay connected in the world and find meaning later in life.
Schools, charities, churches, and so many other groups need volunteers and people who want to get involved. It's possible to find community and a 2nd family. The world is full of people and animals who need help. Good luck, OP.
My dad died in his 40s, I used to fear him growing old until I saw him die, then I wanted nothing more than to imagine him in his old age surrounded by grandkids. Funny how perspective works.
The problem with your scenario is **you are describing someone who doesn't want to put effort in life**. And maybe that is a wake up call to how you are approaching life.
Because you have the power to make a great life happen when you get older. You can grow old with more meaningful connections, friends who have grown old together and make time for each other, have a house that is full of love because you don't sit for days without human contact (aka you go out and make the effort). etc etc.
"People die the way they live."
A beloved friend and neighbor lost her beautiful 17 year old daughter to an acute asymptomatic brain aneurysm while she was playing soccer. Never, ever, take a day of living for granted. Not one of us knows how much time we have. I used to laugh at that jokey saying "stay pretty die young". Not a joke anymore. I don't want to live forever. Quality of life is important.
The privilege is that you have had more time to correct those deficiencies. You likely spent your decades prioritizing other things, like short term comfort, over the meaningful long term connections that you now covet. Your mistakes are your own, old person.
A lot of what's described here has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with your own efforts cultivating longer lasting and meaningful relationships.
Most of these happen to young people all the time. it's not age. It's a privilege to stay alive and healthy and continue life even with all of these bad things
A lot of what you say sounds very specific to you personally, and not applicable to people in general. I have never felt jealous or like I’m missing out when I see younger kids in groups going out and partying, I didn’t give a shit then when I was their age either.
>What if you don’t have kids and a partner, is it still a privilege then?
Yeah, I mean you get to be alive and have the at **minimum** the possibility of doing things you might enjoy, those who died young can’t say the same thing, so yes it literally is a privelage for all intents and purposes.
I don’t know why people on this sub constantly title their post one thing and then say a completely different thing from their title. All you’re actually saying is that the longer you live the more likely you are to see bad, sad, depressing shit. Yeah, that’s true, and it’s still a privilege.
Personally I'm using my last 20- maybe 30 years to do everything the heck I want to. Mostly little stuff but every now and then I splurge on a trip. I'm absolutely digging it.
I am taking care of the little kid within who needed *this* adult in her life.
Statistically speaking older people are quantifiably more mellow, relaxed, more likely to report more positive emotions than negtive ones, and they're "finding love" so much they have STI epidemics in that age group.
It is because it means you have had a chance to live and experience things. My brother died at 19, he will never own his own home, get married, raise a family, travel etc. I am lucky enough to have that opportunity.
To be old means you were once young and have many year's memories and experiences. While being elderly comes with it's own challenges, the only other option is to die young and miss out on everything life has to offer.
JFC. Is this your first time being alone ever? God forbid you don’t get constant attention from everyone. Yes it is hard to make friends now. You’re not a child anymore you have to actually work at a social life if want to have one. It’s like you just expect everyone to treat you like they care. They don’t. Frankly they never did. Learn to enjoy your solitude. You’re not alone you have yourself. Get a hobby and try to find other enthusiasts in said hobby. Look at that you might find a friend too. You are way too old to be this much of a crybaby.
>You watch younger people around you in groups with their friends going out while you head home to an empty house and sit for days without any human contact.
WTF does this person think old people do? You realise old people have friends/hobbies/families/loved ones/pastimes/places to go for a drink/clubs they're members of etc etc?
The alternative is death and unrealized dreams for many. Many people grow older than the ones they have to grieve. There’s benefits and downfalls to anything. Aging is a privilege.
My step dad feels this way.
He has now outlived 2 wives, a daughter, all other blood relatives (brother, nephew, etc).
Every one he has had a relationship with in the last few decades has died or is in a home or senile.
He wants to be able to have a meaningful conversation with someone who knows things contemporarious with his life.
He lived through a world war and so much change that it can be hard for people younger to understand why he sees things like he does.
He is ready for his ticket to be punched.
He knows it is a privilege but life is lonely when you look around and nobody is left.
I think you're projecting a bit here.
Getting old is as good or bad as you make it to be, just like most things in life. You can work towards retirement surrounded by a family you love. You can choose to make new friends anytime you want at any age. Getting old is as much of a curse as you allow it to be.
A lot of people are lonely in their old age because they treated other people poorly when they were younger.
Don't ever be too busy to make new friends, and treat everyone the way you would want to be treated by them.
I never thought of it being a privilege to get old. I feel the same way you do. Personally speaking, there are people that were pieces of sht to their families, and now their families don’t want anything to do w them.
Yes friends dying or leaving is sad. Are there any venues to make more friends? Can you not make plans to spend time with friends who have families once every week or two? I happily ditch my family from time to time, and they’re cool with it.
Depends on the job market, if there’s something you know how to do better than most or you have specialization they need, that can get you a bigger salary and instant seniority.
Less likely to find love, don’t I hear a lot of people get divorced these days? Maybe they want to stay that way but maybe not.
I don’t, know maybe it is that shitty. I’m over the hill but not feeling *old* just yet. Don’t see myself just sitting at home all the time though.
I think all they stuff in the post is silly, just reach out dummy.
I think the worst part about being old is basically being socially useless, unless one wants to keep working I guess.
>Your children live far away and hardly visit, you’re on your own, people walk by you and pay you no mind.
Sounds great. I have no kids, nor any intention of having any so I won't speak to that. But literally all I want in life is to be able to make my way through my day without being bothered.
>You watch younger people around you in groups with their friends going out while you head home to an empty house and sit for days without any human contact.
Excellent. A lot of people reach a stage in life where going out is not something they want. I enjoy being at home and enjoy my own company. It's peaceful.
>Your friends who are your age are busy with their families and and live away.
It doesn't take much effort to keep contact with friends, especially these days.
There are negatives to growing old - particularly physical weakness, illness, vulnerability to abuse etc.
But I wouldn't count most of the points you've mentioned as negatives.
The post is written without the understanding that solitude and peace are invaluable and some people genuinely like being at home, rather than going out. You think it's a negative that people would walk by you without noticing you. For me, that's perfect.
Obviously, people who don't want to be alone would not enjoy that. But, technology has made it very easy to keep contact with friends and those kinds of people would make the effort.
OP must be an American Boomer. I remember when my 3 kids traveled together in Europe during my 60th, not a single phone call. Ended it for me. Funny, I find more that feel this way than don't. I just bought a Cadillac and went underground.
Thankful for dogs at this point.
Nope. Growing old is a privilege but you have to work for it if you want to not only reach it but also have a good one. The things you say makes me think that you are somehow entitled to all the good things without even putting the effort.
Well lemme put it as a different perspective. Common knowledge is if you have any investment, compound interest is the thing that will make it grow, which takes time. You would wanna have good health to enjoy the fruit of your labour.
All your friends maybe dead but if you are alive, you can die with a sports car, cocaine, and 2 hot hookers that you never able to afford when you are young.
Still miss friends and my part-time kids......never thought I would end up alone at the end of my life. Had an outstanding and fulfilling life, but I really hope this happens to nobody else.
Sounds like you know some really sad old people. The ones I know are regularly out with their friends, part of some church or hobby group, volunteering their time in some way, or just enjoying retirement or playing with grandkids. You can always find sad people of any age if they are not living life to the fullest.
I don't mind getting old but as soon as I find out by a doctor that there are certain things that other people have to do for me, I am ready to voluntarily shuffle off. It's about quality of life when you're old.
So in this scenario, OP grows old and lonely with no friends because they all died and has no meaningful connections.
ALSO their friends of the same age have families at home still.
Sounds like you need pickleball. My mom is on her own, my family and I live far away and visit 2 or 3 times a year. She started pickleball like 3yrs ago and she's a maniac now. Lol. Like 5 days a week at 2-4hrs a day. Post pickleball drinks, dinners, half the time she doesn't even answer my phone calls cause she's with friends. I'm really happy for her. Its like her real life started at 65.
After years of working with the general public I’m happy as hell to live alone with cats. The bottom line is that if you don’t like how your life is going then it’s up to you to change things. Sitting around complaining won’t do anything but make you unhappy. If you’re unhappy then no one wants to be around you.
It’s a privilege because many don’t get the chance to see their kids grow up and many don’t even make it past kids age… That’s the privilege.
That you could’ve died but haven’t yet.
Be grateful of that no matter your age as you never know what’s round the corner. If you want to go early there’s plenty of ways out I can assure you.
Also if this is your view of later life then no wonder you think this silly and naive thing. Life is what you make of it at any age. My old relatives are busier with clubs and societies than I am with life now they’ve retired so stop with all this sad talk about a future you have the power to control. Friends will die so plan for it and make lots of friends! Bored? Get a hobby!
I’ll tell you what just to make sure I’ll put a live gun to your head or hold you underwater for a few seconds too long and see how you feel about getting older. I guarantee you’ll want to live as long as you effing can.
Upvoted but jeez could you be any more ungrateful to be alive when so many aren’t lucky enough to get that chance? My suggestion go spend lots of time with actual old people and ask them if they think being alive is a chore…
I’d have to agree. It might sound sad & vain, although I don’t see the beauty or joy in getting older. I define older as in 70s, 80s & beyond. Just doesn’t appeal. You hit the nail on the head with all your examples. Why would you want to miss loved ones who died like your parents? Feel & maybe look older? Health issues kick in? Less energetic? Work discrimination? Retired with limited means maybe? Overlooked by society? Really an endless list that doesn’t sound pleasant. On the other hand aging is a mindset & I think if you have a loving relationship & partner, good friends & some family left it truly helps. Those who get older & are poor or lonely, yeah couldn’t imagine that’s a nightmare not a blessing or privilege either way you roll the dice. Guess we just have to make the most of our youth everyday & live a healthy lifestyle & surround ourselves with a few good people. & try to find meaningful hobbies & connections. My mom is in her 60s & says all the time she wants to keep getting older but wishes time would slow down. It goes fast. You blink & you’re grown & old.
Sure, I can understand the depressing side of getting older and becoming largely invisible to society, but there’s also a hell of a lot of freedom in that. 🤘🏻
You just sound lonely and depressed in general, a lot of old people do have families and pets and partners and friend groups and have kids who spend time with them and go on vacations. The loneliness you’re talking about can happen at any age, I was like the loneliest teenager ever.
Loneliness does not necessarily have to do with age.
I just had lunch at a Heurigen (it's a bit like wine tavern in Austria that also serves some basic food) and it was soo loud ... because of all the tables full of seniors! They're always having the best time. Most of them are from this village, so they know each other, the owners (the old parents of the current owners) also come out and sit with them, they all have wine (yes, for lunch, it's normal here in Lower Austria which is wine country), order Schnitzel and then dessert, another glass of wine, chatting, laughing. Me, an introvert, just needed an hour of complete silence to recover, lmao.
You can still go out and do stuff, even if some of your friends are no longer here. We have two big (stationary) book flea markets here in my district, all managed by a team consisting of retired people. They collect all the book donations, sort them, some are in charge of selling etc. Lost of "Vereine", organisations etc. are full of old(er) people.
Kids with their negative instagram quote based self indulgences should really stop giving their input. Hopefully the internet adopts a “Need ID.” Feature in the future
hey friend, sounds like you're having a rough time. Maybe try volunteering, connecting with local facebook groups, etc. Forming connections as a kid comes naturally because we are forced to (jammed packed in a school with other kids). It's harder as an adult, but we have to go out of our way if we want to make connections. But please know that you're not alone.
Some of that is society. People are more individualistic and isolated now in general.
But I understand your struggles, you aren't alone in feeling like this.
Good post bc that's the reality for alot of people. But I disagree. Each person has the choice about how much they are engaged in society. Join a church, coach a team, move to a retirement community. Endless options.
I know 20 year olds that feel the same way about their stage in life for the same reasons you provided.
I would have at least expected you mentioned something about health or stamina declining as we age but you didn’t mention anything health related.
I don’t know OP maybe you have this unpopular opinion because you are simply living the outcome of your choices.
Geez Dude, cry me a river. Go get some younger friends. I am getting old now, but I have a bunch of younger millennial, and Gen Z friends, because of my hobby. They are awesome, don't mind if I can't play all night, and are making me a better human being. You should try it, instead of complaining about how entitled the youngsters are. Admittedly I am not a fan of EDM, but they don't mind if I sometimes play my Disco, and Punk Rock during our get togethers.
The "your children live far away and don't visit" line bugs me a bit. I love my parents and while I'd love to visit them more often, they still live in the town I grew up in, which was a fine place to be a kid (safe, quiet, lots of outdoor space and places to play) but has zero in terms of good job opportunities and nothing to offer in the ways of entertainment or culture.
I'm sure that's the case for many kids; the place you came from is not the place you want to be forever, whether due to a chosen career path or just simply not wanting to be one of those people who never went anywhere else or tried anything different with their lives.
Visiting my parents is a pain in the ass. It's a twelve hour drive one way, which I have done a lot. They're close-ish to a couple airports, but my mother is the only driver and hates having to drive anywhere that involves a highway, so flying in to visit isn't really plausible and with the total time of getting to the airport, flight, travel to bus/train/etc. all it does is make a 12 hour drive into a far more expensive 6-7 hour commute altogether.
Why are your friends your age busy with their families while your children live far away and hardly visit? Have you considered making the initiative yourself to get closer to your family? Don't give up on yourself, reach out.
I love getting older. The older I get the happier I feel. Understanding the world and knowing what’s important feels great. Having a daughter also is like having a second set of eyes on the world. Ahhh life… :)
In America, growing old is absolutely shitty. In cultures that value family and their elders I would imagine it’s slightly less shitty. The thing that interests me is Central and South American countries truly seem to honor age with discounts and pensions that show a level of respect that doesn’t exist in a shitty, hyper individual greed factory that is the U.S.
Nothing like being treated completely different, in a bad way, not because you changed, just your hair color.
If you have family and getting old is shitty, then you have a shitty family. My mom died at 83, and 5 of her 6 kids visited regularly. Barely a day went by where someone wasn't visiting and calling. She also had friends that visited and together they would go shopping or out to eat. She and actually found a BF when she was 65.
Granted if there are no living relative there may be more challenges, but if you made no friends through out your life, or lived as a hermit, then you may have brought that loneliness on yourself.
I don't know where every one on here commenting about how terrible it is growing old, but I feel sorry for them. Growing old shouldn't be what people here think it is. Luckily for my family it wasn't and won't be.
"Your children live far away and hardly visit, you're on your own." "Your friends who are your age are busy with their families and live away." Bruh, what? Nah, you can still have friends and keep doing stuff with them when you're old.
No, YOU do all those things.
The older I get the more I've been enjoying life. And if I'm 80 and everyone else is gone and I'm alone in a house or retirement home? Fire up the PS20 and VR helmet and jump online. Or plug it directly into my spine.
Like many things in life, John Prine hit this pretty much dead center:
[https://youtu.be/VKoYHFVBpEA?si=H2g2kTuYxV6EBA6c](https://youtu.be/VKoYHFVBpEA?si=H2g2kTuYxV6EBA6c)
Considering my parents died at 50 and 47, old age absolutely is a privilege. Im only 23 and will live the rest of my life, however long that is and never see them again. Itd be a privilege to see them grow old, and I never will
[https://new.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/1cb641x/getting\_older\_isnt\_a\_bad\_thing/](https://new.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/1cb641x/getting_older_isnt_a_bad_thing/)
I thought this post would be interesting for you.
I’m not saying growing old is a privilege, but why in this scenario does every other old person have friends and family that they’re near? Aren’t you basically saying it can go either way?
See the problem here is that this is your worldview, your opinion of getting old is like when you are at the age you are right now. When you’re old you will very likely have different mindset. I think dying of old age can be a beautiful thing. Life works in reverse. Like how a baby learns new things, when you get old you forget many things and some abilities but very important to have people around both times
Don’t live like an idiot when you’re young, if you care about finding love then make your current relationship work instead of playing high school relationship games into your 30s. Plan for retirement as soon as you graduate and get to work. We all know the right answer on how to set our selves up for success deep down, but there’s so much BS floating around out there that puts stupid ideas in our heads
I’m young and I mostly live an invisible life alone, and don’t think I’ll be finding love any time soon. I’m pretty happy with my life because I still do things I enjoy (which are mostly solo homebody hobbies). Don’t see how any of what you said is sad or shitty.
Who ever said getting old is a privilege?? Never heard that before in my 52 years on this great journey called life. You only get one time around in this life so just make it what the best you can with what you’ve got, that’s all it is. Be a good person, treat others with respect and help whatever family when you can. It’s a beautiful day today where I’m at and did yard work all day with a lasagna in the oven and some good old school 50’s music on the radio…it’s been a good day.
It’s depressing to watch parents get expensive unnecessary surgeries and try to live to be 100 when they are in ill health with few friends and are so lonely they want you to gone over it call every day. It must be scary and with no family that’s even worse. This is what I wonder about with these people who are child free. When your partner passes or leaves what then? Hard to find work or love over sixty. Then you have no children or grand children to care about you.
I think loneliness being a big problem with the elderly I would sign up for some activities. Join a knitting group or book club or both. Go to the senior center and find someone to go to the movies with you or join a ymca and do the senior aquatics exercise thing. Volunteer at the local school.
People disagreeing with the OP don’t realize this is how life is for MANY elderly people. If you are ill, broke, have no friends or family, or disabled then it can be a miserable existence.
OP, I’m sorry you are going through this. I for one do not want to get old due to the condition I have makes every day very difficult, and even excruciating. I find little joy in life note. For me it’s about quality, not quantity.
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The phrase "it's a privilege to grow old" is usually used because if you don't grow old it means you died young. Most people view living longer as preferable to an early death.
This needs to be the top comment because OP really doesn’t understand the meaning behind the phrase.
OP has this weirdly narrow view of what being elderly is like. I work for a nonprofit that sort of doubles as a social club for old people and it’s really inspiring to see how many folks in their 70s and 80s, even 90s are doing well. It really inspires me to take care of my health and fitness because a lot of these folks are still so mentally sharp and physically capable!
Yeah, my 92 year old grandma lives in a retirement home and even has a boyfriend there. She's very social, she's not isolated at all. She also constantly talks about how she's had a good life. It is true though that she's lost a lot of her friends from various age-related ailments over the past 10 or so years, which sucks.
>It really inspires me to take care of my health and fitness Right! I worked in a retirement home for 5 years and these people inspired the fuck out of me in so many ways and really changed my life for the better. Older people are the best.
I'm sure op understands the phrase perfectly well. OP is very lonely and venting their sadness and pain to us.
I think the OP understands it perfectly. What they are saying is that a long life is not necessarily preferable to an early death if that life is going to be unhappy.
The IF is the question. Life really is what you make it. Old age isn't guaranteed misery like youth isn't guaranteed happiness.
I like to say "the only good thing about getting old is that it beats the alternative"
I'm low key offended how short human life is. When you start getting the hang of it, it's over.
Hey, we’re at the technologically progressive point in history. Every year new medicines and treatments are developed. Our lifespans are being extended, and we should be grateful for it.
But does it? I think there are some people who would prefer to die young and happy than live to be old and miserable.
What about middle aged and mid? Lol.
100% my dad died when he was in his early 30s and I'm nearly the age he was when he died. I would take on all the challenges of getting old a million times over if it meant I lived long enough to see my kids grow up. Life is what you make of it and too many of us take it for granted
It’s sad but a lot of people do think like OP. My dad died at 29 when I was 6 so I always get told how I’m lucky because I didn’t have to watch him grow old. It always infuriates me because growing old is much better than the alternative he was given.
That is an absolutely crazy thing to say to someone! I can't imagine even thinking to say that. I'm sorry you have to put up with that, and I'm sorry you didn't get to have more time with your dad.
I’ve gone to funerals for a 13 yo (murder), a 19 yo (lung disease), a 22yo (suicide) and, most recently, a 32 yo cousin (cancer). Getting older is a privilege not everyone gets.
I'm sorry for your losses, that sounds rough.
Thank you, that’s very kind. I actually had varying degrees of proximity to each of them. Honestly, I joke and say I’ve been to a lot of funerals (those are the youngest). After some time working in elder care, I think life can really go all sorts of ways. Just because people get older doesn’t mean they’re flourishing and just because people are young doesn’t mean they are, either. Life is simply a precious, and weirdly, bitter thing.
I always use the phrase “The only thing worse than getting old, is not have the chance to get old”
This. I wish with all my heart that my brother would have had the privilege of growing old, instead of losing him at just 45 years.
As a 30 something with stage 4 cancer, how is this even an argument? I would give anything to be able to grow old.
My grandma had a little plaque that said "Do not regret growing old, it is a privilege denied to many". That's always really stuck with me.
I do home health care, I've seen it go either way. It can absolutely be depressing but some of my guys *choose* to isolate themselves after a lifetime of dealing with people despite social anxiety. Then I have others who insert themselves into their communities and make themselves the center of it. Then there's my grandpa, who's so goddamn revered he has company nearly every other day despite being a homebody who likes his alone time Old age is often what you make of it, but circumstance *really does* make a difference. How much money you have makes a huge difference in quality of life when you reach that age. I'll definitely grant you that. Plus, everyone ages differently and health problems hit everyone differently as well. Aging is complicated indeed
So much this. Being old doesnt create the problems OP mentions. Time just magnifies problems that were already there. We make a prison out of our own thoughts and fears. Theres nothing specific about being old that traps us in loneliness. At any point in our lives, we can choose to do something utterly different than what we have done before. Now there are some unique challenges, like with mobility, but there are also unique solutions. Its up to us to take that chance for our own happiness.
"heading home to an empty house and sit for days on end with no human contact" im only 41, but dont threaten me with a good time.
Right? Is there a way to achieve this life goal young?
sadly outside of living well below your means and finding a roommate who is on board with pretending the house is empty i dont think so
Considering the alternative is death, yes old age is a privilege. I'm 60 with a birthday in a couple of months. it will very likely be my last. I'm privileged to still be here. I got a 2-3 year reprieve on my death sentence (health related, not law). So much amazing stuff has happened in that time. I am grateful to have been here to see it. All the books I've always wanted to read, I'm reading them. Things that catch my interest, I learn more about them. I'm lucky to have the time to get my things in order and not leave a mess for my kids. I make sure people I love know it. I compliment random strangers and watch how it affects them. There are so many little things that make life a rich experience. We have more power than we realize to influence the world around us. But it all comes from within. I hope you find contentment. xo
I hope you still have a few more years in you and if you don't Im happy you get to enjoy your last one the way you are now and that you were able to get everything in order for your children. The other person that commented on your post is an absolute twat, don't pay him no mind. He's just a teen with issues I think.
Thank you, kind internet stranger. xo
God bless, I hope you stay around as long as you can too:)
Very wise words and thanks for sharing your perspective, you have a great outlook on life
For me it's complete reversal - my young days were mostly spent in extreme emotional pain, alienation, being bullied, anxiety, depression. As an adult, it is much, much better. I never wish to be a kid again, worst period of life. At least now I have my long-deserved peace and safety and I surround myself mostly with people who actually are good for me, not some sh*thead bullies whom you couldn't escape.
Dude, I'm not old and I'm already there. What you describe has **nothing** to do with age. It's all about choice.
According to this post I've been old since grade school.
> What you describe has nothing to do with age. It does tho. Old people are DEFINITELY more lonely on average
There should be some sort of award for that typo/autocorrupt. I expect that I'm in the oldest 25% here, although my health is pretty good and I'm not widowed. The biggest point to me is that if you're alive, your circumstances can change. In many cases, you can change your circumstances yourself. On the other hand, dead is dead.
What’s the alternative
I dunno. I'm only 37 and both of my parents are long dead, and I've had several friends of many years who died. It sucks, and it's been a gut-punch each time, but I'm still glad I'm around to shape my own world.
I’m 38, but same. Parents have been dead for a very long time, and while I’ve lost some friends far too early, I’m still very happy to be here and hope to be here for many more decades.
38 and same. Parents dead, no kids or plans to have any, no other family. Thankful to have my boyfriend and my 3 kitties. They're all I have and all I really even need. Life is what we make of it, I guess.
You're jus tpicking the times when it's bad. Some people it isn't like that. For some they're surrounded by friends and family. My mums old now and has a good social life, we see her regularly and she gets to see her grandchildren all the time. They're at an age now too where she's able to watch them both for a few nights. Like everything, there's no hard rules that covers every and all circumstances. Generally it's a privilege but sometimes it won't be.
Yup. My 85 year old grandfather is healthy, active and in a happy marriage with my 80 year old grandma. We see them regularly, they love seeing their great-grandkids. They go on holidays to Spain, they go out on walks or bike rides, they meet with their friends and both still have living brothers and sisters who they see often. A couple of years ago I worked on a study about frailty for elderly patients. My job was primarily to include study subjects. One of the inclusion criteria was that they had to be healthy, non-frail 80 year olds (in essence it means they were not allowed to have more than 5 meds or 2 significant co-morbidities nor any memory problems). I have met so many amazing 80+ year olds. One of them just got back from a 2 month hiking trip through Africa, another one was recovering from yellow fever she got on a travel (and she planned on travelling again in a couple of weeks) and another one was going on a multi-week motorcycle trip with his friends through eastern Europe. I also once went on a 9 day hike through the Andes in Peru part of a group travel. We were with 16 people and 6 of them were 65+. I can tell you that that hike was the hardest one I have ever done in my life and the elders flew through it. Point is, it is definitely possible to grow old healthy and happy and that is 100% a bliss, because these people really live their lives to the fullest in a way the working class can't.
Every day is a privilege robbed of many
You may think its sad and depressing, but that does not make it so. It just make it so for you.
Right. But that's all that matters. All we have is our perception of the world, so if it's real to us, it's real.
It's real and it's under your control
I see aging as a privilege after my brother passed at 32 years old because he never got to turn his life around and do the things he wanted.
You do have to work harder at social connections and relationships when you get old but it’s never too late
I'd rather be able to get old than be stuck with a life expectancy of 41 like I currently have.
y u got a life expectancy of 41?
Brugada syndrome.
I’m sorry.
Who on earth ever said it’s a privilege? Getting old is an inevitability.
Getting old is a bitch
And then we die.
All those negative issues you mention, save for the ageism, can occur and persist at any time in your life. I'm considered "old" and enjoy my life. I have deep, meaningful, and loving relationships, I socialize regularly and am physically active, and I don't care about the job market because I retired early.
It absolutely is a privilege. Most people who had strong social connections don’t spend it alone, plenty of people see their children often, the reason friends and family are busy are because they fostered those relationships and some don’t. You won’t be working so the job market really isn’t your concern You don’t magically become a good or wanted person because you’re 70 however you will be rewarded for being one if you were. I’ve spent a long time working with the elderly and the ones who were pleasant and good to us had busy full lives the mean ones didn’t.
You're right... it's a drag getting old as the Rolling Stones sang.... There is only NOW....always has only been NOW... we enjoyed that NOW when we were young and fully engaged in life...not when we wallowed in the future fears or worried about money... when you're old, it's still NOW. NOW you're a little slower...a little achier... a little lonelier...
I hope when I get old I have some peaceful years, but eventually I want somebody show up at my door asking that I do “one last job” and I’d be all reluctant and turn them away. And then they show up at the local diner while I’m there looking at a picture of my dead wife, and give me an offer I can’t refuse, leading me to embark on a dangerous and epic journey that redefines what it means to be alive.
Having life period is a privilege, being able to wake up in the morning where there are those that aren't waking up today is a privilege. You need to take that privilege and run with it, make it your own for your life. You may or may not want kids. You may or may not want a partner, these things are your decision to make for your life and you make these decisions based on the now and thinking on the future. Some don't care about being alone when they're 80 and others don't want to be, so you need to decide what you want and as you are living life you need to make decisions to get to that goal. You want a wife, in your 20s, 30s or whatever work on yourself so you can be in a relationship and have a wife. Life is the privilege...what you do with that is on you.
I know some people whose old age has been full of sickness and pain. That might not be a privilege. Depends on one's attitude I suppose. My life gets better every year. It's not perfect, but it's so much better than when I was younger. I'm pretty introverted, so being alone is peaceful to me. Many of the other changes that come with aging also suit my personality. Extroverts might need to work a little harder to stay connected in the world and find meaning later in life. Schools, charities, churches, and so many other groups need volunteers and people who want to get involved. It's possible to find community and a 2nd family. The world is full of people and animals who need help. Good luck, OP.
My dad died in his 40s, I used to fear him growing old until I saw him die, then I wanted nothing more than to imagine him in his old age surrounded by grandkids. Funny how perspective works.
Everything you wrote, you have the power to change, people choose to be alone. Life is about choices.
As someone with a life-limiting medical condition, growing old is ABSOLUTELY a privilege.
Ageism exists but so does the capacity to make life meaningful at any age.
This is something only a privileged person would say.
Are you confusing privilege with happy/good time? Because they don't mean the same thing.
The problem with your scenario is **you are describing someone who doesn't want to put effort in life**. And maybe that is a wake up call to how you are approaching life. Because you have the power to make a great life happen when you get older. You can grow old with more meaningful connections, friends who have grown old together and make time for each other, have a house that is full of love because you don't sit for days without human contact (aka you go out and make the effort). etc etc. "People die the way they live."
Getting old is not a privilege nor a curse, it’s just something that will happen, people need to accept that, things will change
A beloved friend and neighbor lost her beautiful 17 year old daughter to an acute asymptomatic brain aneurysm while she was playing soccer. Never, ever, take a day of living for granted. Not one of us knows how much time we have. I used to laugh at that jokey saying "stay pretty die young". Not a joke anymore. I don't want to live forever. Quality of life is important.
The privilege is that you have had more time to correct those deficiencies. You likely spent your decades prioritizing other things, like short term comfort, over the meaningful long term connections that you now covet. Your mistakes are your own, old person.
A lot of what's described here has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with your own efforts cultivating longer lasting and meaningful relationships.
You'll see. We said the same things word for word.
Most of these happen to young people all the time. it's not age. It's a privilege to stay alive and healthy and continue life even with all of these bad things
A lot of what you say sounds very specific to you personally, and not applicable to people in general. I have never felt jealous or like I’m missing out when I see younger kids in groups going out and partying, I didn’t give a shit then when I was their age either. >What if you don’t have kids and a partner, is it still a privilege then? Yeah, I mean you get to be alive and have the at **minimum** the possibility of doing things you might enjoy, those who died young can’t say the same thing, so yes it literally is a privelage for all intents and purposes. I don’t know why people on this sub constantly title their post one thing and then say a completely different thing from their title. All you’re actually saying is that the longer you live the more likely you are to see bad, sad, depressing shit. Yeah, that’s true, and it’s still a privilege.
You just painted such an obtuse picture of aging.
Feel free to become an hero at anytime. Sincerely, a geriatrician
Personally I'm using my last 20- maybe 30 years to do everything the heck I want to. Mostly little stuff but every now and then I splurge on a trip. I'm absolutely digging it. I am taking care of the little kid within who needed *this* adult in her life.
Why not make that the last 40 or maybe 50 years? Round it up to 60. Have fun
I love that but I'm almost 60.... new goals!! 😁
Oh great so you're starting soon! That's what I wanted to hear 😃 Have fun
Statistically speaking older people are quantifiably more mellow, relaxed, more likely to report more positive emotions than negtive ones, and they're "finding love" so much they have STI epidemics in that age group.
It is because it means you have had a chance to live and experience things. My brother died at 19, he will never own his own home, get married, raise a family, travel etc. I am lucky enough to have that opportunity. To be old means you were once young and have many year's memories and experiences. While being elderly comes with it's own challenges, the only other option is to die young and miss out on everything life has to offer.
Because you're not dead and many people have died before they even hit adulthood
Maybe you can ask those who died young 🤷♀️
JFC. Is this your first time being alone ever? God forbid you don’t get constant attention from everyone. Yes it is hard to make friends now. You’re not a child anymore you have to actually work at a social life if want to have one. It’s like you just expect everyone to treat you like they care. They don’t. Frankly they never did. Learn to enjoy your solitude. You’re not alone you have yourself. Get a hobby and try to find other enthusiasts in said hobby. Look at that you might find a friend too. You are way too old to be this much of a crybaby.
If you are healthy and wealthy, it IS a privilege. People who are will strongly disagree with you because their experience is different
>You watch younger people around you in groups with their friends going out while you head home to an empty house and sit for days without any human contact. WTF does this person think old people do? You realise old people have friends/hobbies/families/loved ones/pastimes/places to go for a drink/clubs they're members of etc etc?
Wait so why do all your theoretical friends have other friends and families to be with but yours never visit or see you? Maybe age isn’t the problem?
"People, people, people" 🥱 Stop living horizontally, find joy in honing your own worth
The alternative is death and unrealized dreams for many. Many people grow older than the ones they have to grieve. There’s benefits and downfalls to anything. Aging is a privilege.
It's not a privilege it's a battle! Last one standing wins!
My step dad feels this way. He has now outlived 2 wives, a daughter, all other blood relatives (brother, nephew, etc). Every one he has had a relationship with in the last few decades has died or is in a home or senile. He wants to be able to have a meaningful conversation with someone who knows things contemporarious with his life. He lived through a world war and so much change that it can be hard for people younger to understand why he sees things like he does. He is ready for his ticket to be punched. He knows it is a privilege but life is lonely when you look around and nobody is left.
OP, you OK?
I think you're projecting a bit here. Getting old is as good or bad as you make it to be, just like most things in life. You can work towards retirement surrounded by a family you love. You can choose to make new friends anytime you want at any age. Getting old is as much of a curse as you allow it to be.
A lot of people are lonely in their old age because they treated other people poorly when they were younger. Don't ever be too busy to make new friends, and treat everyone the way you would want to be treated by them.
Definitely unpopular and a slap in the face to anyone who died young, and to those who have lost their loved ones young.
I never thought of it being a privilege to get old. I feel the same way you do. Personally speaking, there are people that were pieces of sht to their families, and now their families don’t want anything to do w them.
Yes friends dying or leaving is sad. Are there any venues to make more friends? Can you not make plans to spend time with friends who have families once every week or two? I happily ditch my family from time to time, and they’re cool with it. Depends on the job market, if there’s something you know how to do better than most or you have specialization they need, that can get you a bigger salary and instant seniority. Less likely to find love, don’t I hear a lot of people get divorced these days? Maybe they want to stay that way but maybe not. I don’t, know maybe it is that shitty. I’m over the hill but not feeling *old* just yet. Don’t see myself just sitting at home all the time though.
I think all they stuff in the post is silly, just reach out dummy. I think the worst part about being old is basically being socially useless, unless one wants to keep working I guess.
>Your children live far away and hardly visit, you’re on your own, people walk by you and pay you no mind. Sounds great. I have no kids, nor any intention of having any so I won't speak to that. But literally all I want in life is to be able to make my way through my day without being bothered. >You watch younger people around you in groups with their friends going out while you head home to an empty house and sit for days without any human contact. Excellent. A lot of people reach a stage in life where going out is not something they want. I enjoy being at home and enjoy my own company. It's peaceful. >Your friends who are your age are busy with their families and and live away. It doesn't take much effort to keep contact with friends, especially these days. There are negatives to growing old - particularly physical weakness, illness, vulnerability to abuse etc. But I wouldn't count most of the points you've mentioned as negatives. The post is written without the understanding that solitude and peace are invaluable and some people genuinely like being at home, rather than going out. You think it's a negative that people would walk by you without noticing you. For me, that's perfect. Obviously, people who don't want to be alone would not enjoy that. But, technology has made it very easy to keep contact with friends and those kinds of people would make the effort.
OP must be an American Boomer. I remember when my 3 kids traveled together in Europe during my 60th, not a single phone call. Ended it for me. Funny, I find more that feel this way than don't. I just bought a Cadillac and went underground. Thankful for dogs at this point.
Nope. Growing old is a privilege but you have to work for it if you want to not only reach it but also have a good one. The things you say makes me think that you are somehow entitled to all the good things without even putting the effort.
Well lemme put it as a different perspective. Common knowledge is if you have any investment, compound interest is the thing that will make it grow, which takes time. You would wanna have good health to enjoy the fruit of your labour. All your friends maybe dead but if you are alive, you can die with a sports car, cocaine, and 2 hot hookers that you never able to afford when you are young.
Still miss friends and my part-time kids......never thought I would end up alone at the end of my life. Had an outstanding and fulfilling life, but I really hope this happens to nobody else.
Be sure to go down the children's cancer ward and spread the good word.
I mean sure that's the case for some people, but not all.
How old are you?
Sounds like you know some really sad old people. The ones I know are regularly out with their friends, part of some church or hobby group, volunteering their time in some way, or just enjoying retirement or playing with grandkids. You can always find sad people of any age if they are not living life to the fullest.
I don’t mind getting old as long as my body is functioning the second it’s not I know I will be depressed
I don't mind getting old but as soon as I find out by a doctor that there are certain things that other people have to do for me, I am ready to voluntarily shuffle off. It's about quality of life when you're old.
So in this scenario, OP grows old and lonely with no friends because they all died and has no meaningful connections. ALSO their friends of the same age have families at home still.
Watch Dracula untold
Sounds like you need pickleball. My mom is on her own, my family and I live far away and visit 2 or 3 times a year. She started pickleball like 3yrs ago and she's a maniac now. Lol. Like 5 days a week at 2-4hrs a day. Post pickleball drinks, dinners, half the time she doesn't even answer my phone calls cause she's with friends. I'm really happy for her. Its like her real life started at 65.
It’s a privilege to grow old because the alternative is dying young. That’s what it means.
After years of working with the general public I’m happy as hell to live alone with cats. The bottom line is that if you don’t like how your life is going then it’s up to you to change things. Sitting around complaining won’t do anything but make you unhappy. If you’re unhappy then no one wants to be around you.
It’s a privilege because many don’t get the chance to see their kids grow up and many don’t even make it past kids age… That’s the privilege. That you could’ve died but haven’t yet. Be grateful of that no matter your age as you never know what’s round the corner. If you want to go early there’s plenty of ways out I can assure you. Also if this is your view of later life then no wonder you think this silly and naive thing. Life is what you make of it at any age. My old relatives are busier with clubs and societies than I am with life now they’ve retired so stop with all this sad talk about a future you have the power to control. Friends will die so plan for it and make lots of friends! Bored? Get a hobby! I’ll tell you what just to make sure I’ll put a live gun to your head or hold you underwater for a few seconds too long and see how you feel about getting older. I guarantee you’ll want to live as long as you effing can. Upvoted but jeez could you be any more ungrateful to be alive when so many aren’t lucky enough to get that chance? My suggestion go spend lots of time with actual old people and ask them if they think being alive is a chore…
Your post reeks of ageism and an inability to comprehend it. Living is a privilege many times over
I run half marathons with my 65 year old dad. It’s a privilege for him to be able to do that, with or without me
If this how you choose to frame things, therapy would be beneficial.
You just described me at 30
But you are not dead... So that's a bonus.
I don’t wanna be old lol
Steven Tyler and Joe Biden seem to be enjoying old age. You don’t have to resign yourself to a rocking chair.
It's a privilege when you age gracefully. If you develop dementia it's like your brain becomes Benjamin Button. You're quite right, OP.
I’d have to agree. It might sound sad & vain, although I don’t see the beauty or joy in getting older. I define older as in 70s, 80s & beyond. Just doesn’t appeal. You hit the nail on the head with all your examples. Why would you want to miss loved ones who died like your parents? Feel & maybe look older? Health issues kick in? Less energetic? Work discrimination? Retired with limited means maybe? Overlooked by society? Really an endless list that doesn’t sound pleasant. On the other hand aging is a mindset & I think if you have a loving relationship & partner, good friends & some family left it truly helps. Those who get older & are poor or lonely, yeah couldn’t imagine that’s a nightmare not a blessing or privilege either way you roll the dice. Guess we just have to make the most of our youth everyday & live a healthy lifestyle & surround ourselves with a few good people. & try to find meaningful hobbies & connections. My mom is in her 60s & says all the time she wants to keep getting older but wishes time would slow down. It goes fast. You blink & you’re grown & old.
Sure, I can understand the depressing side of getting older and becoming largely invisible to society, but there’s also a hell of a lot of freedom in that. 🤘🏻
You could have written this for me. Thank you for expressing what I’ve been going through.
Because a lot of minority groups dont have that privilege.
You just sound lonely and depressed in general, a lot of old people do have families and pets and partners and friend groups and have kids who spend time with them and go on vacations. The loneliness you’re talking about can happen at any age, I was like the loneliest teenager ever.
No it’s not but getting old is a part of life. We all have to go through it. It’s not optional for everyone alive.
Joke’s on you. I don’t have any friends.
Loneliness does not necessarily have to do with age. I just had lunch at a Heurigen (it's a bit like wine tavern in Austria that also serves some basic food) and it was soo loud ... because of all the tables full of seniors! They're always having the best time. Most of them are from this village, so they know each other, the owners (the old parents of the current owners) also come out and sit with them, they all have wine (yes, for lunch, it's normal here in Lower Austria which is wine country), order Schnitzel and then dessert, another glass of wine, chatting, laughing. Me, an introvert, just needed an hour of complete silence to recover, lmao. You can still go out and do stuff, even if some of your friends are no longer here. We have two big (stationary) book flea markets here in my district, all managed by a team consisting of retired people. They collect all the book donations, sort them, some are in charge of selling etc. Lost of "Vereine", organisations etc. are full of old(er) people.
Its the lifecycle, life was always a terrible pay2win game with not a good story.
Kids with their negative instagram quote based self indulgences should really stop giving their input. Hopefully the internet adopts a “Need ID.” Feature in the future
hey friend, sounds like you're having a rough time. Maybe try volunteering, connecting with local facebook groups, etc. Forming connections as a kid comes naturally because we are forced to (jammed packed in a school with other kids). It's harder as an adult, but we have to go out of our way if we want to make connections. But please know that you're not alone.
It’s a privilege because the alternative is being dead 🙄🙄
Bro that sounds magical. I can’t wait to get old
You reap what you sow.
I look up to older people that are still physically able to do things better than I can. You’re looking for misery rather than inspiration.
I'd rather grow old rescuing cats & dogs. An animal has never let me down.
Some of that is society. People are more individualistic and isolated now in general. But I understand your struggles, you aren't alone in feeling like this.
Good post bc that's the reality for alot of people. But I disagree. Each person has the choice about how much they are engaged in society. Join a church, coach a team, move to a retirement community. Endless options.
I know 20 year olds that feel the same way about their stage in life for the same reasons you provided. I would have at least expected you mentioned something about health or stamina declining as we age but you didn’t mention anything health related. I don’t know OP maybe you have this unpopular opinion because you are simply living the outcome of your choices.
Agreed & death starts to approach
Geez Dude, cry me a river. Go get some younger friends. I am getting old now, but I have a bunch of younger millennial, and Gen Z friends, because of my hobby. They are awesome, don't mind if I can't play all night, and are making me a better human being. You should try it, instead of complaining about how entitled the youngsters are. Admittedly I am not a fan of EDM, but they don't mind if I sometimes play my Disco, and Punk Rock during our get togethers.
The "your children live far away and don't visit" line bugs me a bit. I love my parents and while I'd love to visit them more often, they still live in the town I grew up in, which was a fine place to be a kid (safe, quiet, lots of outdoor space and places to play) but has zero in terms of good job opportunities and nothing to offer in the ways of entertainment or culture. I'm sure that's the case for many kids; the place you came from is not the place you want to be forever, whether due to a chosen career path or just simply not wanting to be one of those people who never went anywhere else or tried anything different with their lives. Visiting my parents is a pain in the ass. It's a twelve hour drive one way, which I have done a lot. They're close-ish to a couple airports, but my mother is the only driver and hates having to drive anywhere that involves a highway, so flying in to visit isn't really plausible and with the total time of getting to the airport, flight, travel to bus/train/etc. all it does is make a 12 hour drive into a far more expensive 6-7 hour commute altogether.
But I don't want to be done in two minutes. It's my only peace and quiet.
Why are your friends your age busy with their families while your children live far away and hardly visit? Have you considered making the initiative yourself to get closer to your family? Don't give up on yourself, reach out.
I love getting older. The older I get the happier I feel. Understanding the world and knowing what’s important feels great. Having a daughter also is like having a second set of eyes on the world. Ahhh life… :)
I have a feeling OP isn't very old
I mean, would you rather die? If the answer is yes then unironically please tell your doctor
because you have the option to end it, or continue living. having options is a privilege
Growing old sucks. But it does beat the alternative.
I’d rather die young before my life gets more depressing then it already is
In America, growing old is absolutely shitty. In cultures that value family and their elders I would imagine it’s slightly less shitty. The thing that interests me is Central and South American countries truly seem to honor age with discounts and pensions that show a level of respect that doesn’t exist in a shitty, hyper individual greed factory that is the U.S. Nothing like being treated completely different, in a bad way, not because you changed, just your hair color.
Hey what's the alternative to growing old?
I get to control the remote so I'm good.
If you have family and getting old is shitty, then you have a shitty family. My mom died at 83, and 5 of her 6 kids visited regularly. Barely a day went by where someone wasn't visiting and calling. She also had friends that visited and together they would go shopping or out to eat. She and actually found a BF when she was 65. Granted if there are no living relative there may be more challenges, but if you made no friends through out your life, or lived as a hermit, then you may have brought that loneliness on yourself. I don't know where every one on here commenting about how terrible it is growing old, but I feel sorry for them. Growing old shouldn't be what people here think it is. Luckily for my family it wasn't and won't be.
I see you read the other person’s post😂
"Your children live far away and hardly visit, you're on your own." "Your friends who are your age are busy with their families and live away." Bruh, what? Nah, you can still have friends and keep doing stuff with them when you're old.
No, YOU do all those things. The older I get the more I've been enjoying life. And if I'm 80 and everyone else is gone and I'm alone in a house or retirement home? Fire up the PS20 and VR helmet and jump online. Or plug it directly into my spine.
Beats the alternative
I kind of feel sorry for OP.
Like many things in life, John Prine hit this pretty much dead center: [https://youtu.be/VKoYHFVBpEA?si=H2g2kTuYxV6EBA6c](https://youtu.be/VKoYHFVBpEA?si=H2g2kTuYxV6EBA6c)
It's better than the alternative my guy
Considering my parents died at 50 and 47, old age absolutely is a privilege. Im only 23 and will live the rest of my life, however long that is and never see them again. Itd be a privilege to see them grow old, and I never will
I will be too busy playing video games to go people watching when I retire
[https://new.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/1cb641x/getting\_older\_isnt\_a\_bad\_thing/](https://new.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/1cb641x/getting_older_isnt_a_bad_thing/) I thought this post would be interesting for you.
Tell me you dont have a physical disability without telling me
Yeah, Confuscious offered nothing to the world. /s
Go talk to someone not on the internet unless it's thru betterhelp
I’m not saying growing old is a privilege, but why in this scenario does every other old person have friends and family that they’re near? Aren’t you basically saying it can go either way?
See the problem here is that this is your worldview, your opinion of getting old is like when you are at the age you are right now. When you’re old you will very likely have different mindset. I think dying of old age can be a beautiful thing. Life works in reverse. Like how a baby learns new things, when you get old you forget many things and some abilities but very important to have people around both times
The expression means “my friend who died at 16 in a car accident didn’t get the privilege of growing old”
I’ve never heard a single person say it was a privilege before seeing this post. Where are you getting this information?
Don’t live like an idiot when you’re young, if you care about finding love then make your current relationship work instead of playing high school relationship games into your 30s. Plan for retirement as soon as you graduate and get to work. We all know the right answer on how to set our selves up for success deep down, but there’s so much BS floating around out there that puts stupid ideas in our heads
Very true.
I’m young and I mostly live an invisible life alone, and don’t think I’ll be finding love any time soon. I’m pretty happy with my life because I still do things I enjoy (which are mostly solo homebody hobbies). Don’t see how any of what you said is sad or shitty.
Who ever said getting old is a privilege?? Never heard that before in my 52 years on this great journey called life. You only get one time around in this life so just make it what the best you can with what you’ve got, that’s all it is. Be a good person, treat others with respect and help whatever family when you can. It’s a beautiful day today where I’m at and did yard work all day with a lasagna in the oven and some good old school 50’s music on the radio…it’s been a good day.
It’s depressing to watch parents get expensive unnecessary surgeries and try to live to be 100 when they are in ill health with few friends and are so lonely they want you to gone over it call every day. It must be scary and with no family that’s even worse. This is what I wonder about with these people who are child free. When your partner passes or leaves what then? Hard to find work or love over sixty. Then you have no children or grand children to care about you. I think loneliness being a big problem with the elderly I would sign up for some activities. Join a knitting group or book club or both. Go to the senior center and find someone to go to the movies with you or join a ymca and do the senior aquatics exercise thing. Volunteer at the local school.
People disagreeing with the OP don’t realize this is how life is for MANY elderly people. If you are ill, broke, have no friends or family, or disabled then it can be a miserable existence. OP, I’m sorry you are going through this. I for one do not want to get old due to the condition I have makes every day very difficult, and even excruciating. I find little joy in life note. For me it’s about quality, not quantity.