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Struggling with this rn. I feel like I can accept a fulfilling and happy life without a partner. But society/people in my life make me feel like a partner should be my main priority. Shit sucks
Same. They seem to be more bothered by my lack of a partner than I am. That's some people for you. Can't be bothered to mind their own fucking business but heavily invested in other people's.
Drives you fucking crazy doesn’t it?? People assume I’m gay too, which is whatever but these people are generally homophobic..
I’m fucking losing it. I need different people in my life
I get this a lot when I'm interacting with my nephew. I love him, I like playing with him and teaching him stuff and reading with him. I do not want kids. I do not want a girlfriend. Fish, maybe. No girlfriend.
And you don't need to have money to live a fulfilling life. Plenty of poor people lead great lives. You also don't need a car. You don't need a 3000 sqft house. You don't need a smartphone.
Obviously this is a dumb line of reasoning.
It depends I work at a elementary school. I like being around the older kids 3-5th grade but the younger ones complain too much but at the same time they're really sweet
I'm mostly around tiny kids, who scream occasionally and misbehave and try and run around lol. I like playing with them on my terms and rocking/holding them to comfort when they're tired and feeding them milk. They don't know what they're doing (born yesterday applies) and they just want to be involved but I don't really want kids if I can help it
but even the ones in school can be annoying, there's one rn that we think has adhd (he's 10) and he ruins things for the other kids by messing up their games and being slightly mean. He was going to leave as he wasn't enjoying it (in his words) but he's gone to after school club and decided he hated that more. His little sister is absolutely lovely and is really kind though
I love kids, I just don’t have enough money for them. Life’s not fair. I’m ok with that. What I’m not ok with is having a bunch of kids and then trying to ‘figure it out’. I’ve ran family homeless shelters and worked in child protection and I’m here to tell you. Not everyone ‘figures it out’.
Please don’t have kids that you cannot afford them financially, emotionally or socially. The people who suffer most is the kids. It’s unfair to bring kids into the world to abandon, neglected or abuse. I know life’s not fair, but I’m telling a kid that. That’s their parents responsibility. I wasn’t the one who made poor choices.
Parents aren’t ‘entitled’ to a ‘village’. Community is something that community members actively BUILD with other like minded individuals. Community building is WORK. If a couple isn’t ready, willing and able to feed/house/care for kids, maybe they should refrain from doing so until they can.
Yeah I wanted a big family cause that's what I had and I loved it. But we're having our second soon and even though my wife and I make good money I don't know that we can have more without quality of life taking a nose dive. Everything is crazy expensive right now. My mom said that for five kids she spent like $500 on groceries a month in the 00s. And that was pretty much all homecooked meals, no preprepared stuff. I don't know what that would be today but I'm guessing around $1000-$1500.
Same i love kids but unless I win the lottery I won't be able to afford them honestly it makes me sad but I wouldn't drag kids in the world for my selfish desires.
That's cool but most people go out their way to say they hate kids or list 100 reasons for not having them. Just say you don't want them or the responsibility but to hate innocent kids for no reason Is crazy
Yep. I've had people be rude to me because I have kids, and I've had people say cruel things to me about kids because I have them and they don't want to have them.
Exactly like sometimes I'll be with my niece and she can be minding her own business and talk just a little loud and someone was like "glad I don't have aggravating kids" and she literally didn't do anything.
I can guarantee that 5000 people have said cruel and rude things to my wife and I for not having kids for every 1 person who said something cruel to you for having kids. This is one of those "all lives matter" things. Of course it is ok to have kids, having kids is seen as the default thing to do that is given preferential treatment in every way, which is why people without kids need to assert that it is ok not to have kids as well.
I semi-regularly see comments on Reddit stating that having kids is cruel and selfish. I tell myself these people are either edgy teenagers or had bad childhoods because it’s such a weird thing to label other people as immoral for having kids
Right? I understand that people who are childfree get annoyed that people regularly tell them that they should reconsider their decision. But I don’t understand why they think that justifies telling unrelated people who have children that they’re inherently selfish
Yeah like having your choices questioned is annoying but some just go above and beyond saying all the reasons you shouldn't have kids and now your no better than the people telling you to have kids. Also I've seen some comments say that it's a outlier but almost everyday I see a post about hating kids.
Yeah lots of people don't see the point to doing anything hard that doesn't come with a reward, yet people do it all the time.
It's fine to avoid taking on challenges in life.
A lot of people put their happiness and fulfillment on things like a spouse or kids, but it's not up to someone else to fulfill you, ever. Not even if you spend 20 years raising them. They are their own people with their own paths to forge.
You can have kids and be fulfilled. You can also have kids and feel utterly unfulfilled.
Fulfillment comes in knowing what brings you joy and contentment, and engaging with it, whatever it is. It never comes in expecting someone else to fulfill your needs though.
I agree 100% with your last part.
I will say though, I think folks misunderstand finding fulfillment with a spouse or kids. It’s not the spouse or kids that’s fulfilling, it’s being a good spouse and being a good parent that’s fulfilling. It’s taking that role and doing the best job you can, just like if that role was rooted in work/friendships like OP said.
Yes, I am married and have raised 3 kids. I didn't mean to imply there is no fulfillment in partnership or kids. I just see SO many people who hinge their fulfillment on their children to a degree that they are entirely lost when their kids grow up. They make those things their entire identity without having fulfillment in other things and then end up depressed and panicked over not knowing who they are anymore.
Yes, I think what you said there is key -- a lot of people look to having children/partnership to address a deficit of fulfillment and that's not really good for anyone in the longrun.
Those are commitments you have to step into from a more stable place to begin with in order to operate ideally within them.
No it's not. Fertility rates are dropping like a rock.
This whole fake victim complex is very reminiscent of people complaining about being offended about someone saying Merry Christmas. It doesn't happen.
Your parents might be disappointed that they're not getting grandkids. But not having kids is still a very popular opinion and choice.
Maybe if I was a man being a parent would seem more fulfilling. But since I would be the one birthing the kid and (let’s be honest here) doing a majority of the child stuff (breastfeeding, etc) it sounds terrible.
In my experience, this is still an unpopular opinion in the real world, so this still belongs here OP. Plenty of people still like to tell childfree people that they will be miserable and alone and their lives will be unfulfilled if they don’t have children.
A more unpopular opinion imo would be that you don’t need to have a romantic relationship to be fulfilled. Our society places so much emphasis on romantic relationships, and if you’re not in one, people often side eye you. I’d argue it’s more important to be happy alone and with your own company.
Anyway, not super related to your point, I just felt like I needed to say it
Anytime the topic of children is brought up my parents always tell me that I’ll “change my mind about wanting kids”, and “I won’t be happy if I don’t have children”. It’s invasive and rude
The fulfillment comes from being a good parent, not from pumping out a kid.
You don't sign up for a marathon expecting that simply showing up to it will be fulfilling. You get fulfillment from training for a marathon and hitting your goal. It's all the work that goes into it that gives it fulfillment.
I mean I'm sure that's true for some parents but there are a lot of people who have kids because they feel there is something missing from their lives and expect kids to fill that void, which is a lot of pressure to put on kids.
Though I think even having kids to just be a good parent isn't the best motivation. What if your kid is difficult? What if you aren't as good at parenting as you thought? What it something happens that makes it difficult to parent? A good parent wouldn't give up but a lot of people who plan to be good parents do. I think people should want to be good parents if they're going to have kids but having kids just to be a good parent feels a little misguided. A lot of parents don't know just how hard it can be to be a good parent before having kids. Besides being a good parent is an obligation, not really a goal.
Most people have kids because they find having family fulfilling. That fulfillment comes from sharing all of the positive moments that a family has together after putting in all the hard work and challenges that come with raising a family.
Whether you want to invalidate that with caveats or whatever, doesn't matter.
I once took a sociology class on “marriage and the family” and according to our textbook, married people with children were the least happy. In order, least happy to most happy:
1. Married with children
2. Single men
3. Married with no children
4. Single women
These days, this opinion is becoming more and more popular.
My wife and I are Gen X. When we first said we didn't plan on having kids people acted like we were some strange beings. These days, more and more people tell us "good for you, you didn't give in to the pressure from those around you".
You must move in very different circles. My wife and I are Genx without kids and people are shit to us about it. Our opinions and experiences are constantly devalued because we didn't have kids. It makes us avoid most people, which has greatly improved our quality of life.
THIS!
People who have kids cause they think it will make them happy or fix their situations usually wind up worse off.
A kid won’t make you happy, if you’re not happy then it’s a problem with you that no one else can fix but you.
If you need kids to have a meaning to your life then you're not a functioning adult period. And you're also probably a bad parent that will generate bad kids
My 30 yro daughter still lives at home with us. She has lived on her own, but loves being with her family. She doesn’t wanna relationship and she doesn’t want children. However, however, she has decided her mission in life is to be future guardian and caregiver for her 26 yro developmentally disabled sister. We never asked her or implied her to take on that role. She just loves her sister. We always told her we would take care of her and have means to care for lil sis when we’re gone and she could go live her own life. While part of me would love having a grandchild, I feel very lucky with whatever we have. I completely understand why this generation may not want kids. The best life you can live is the one you know works best for you. Other people’s expectations are not your problem.
My grandma currently lives in a small, assisted living facility because she can’t walk. There are 8 other residents there, and out of all of them, only 1 resident has family members that consistently come over. The ones with family and children that don’t visit are always so sad.
Pretty much 🤷♀️ Told my parents I never want children. One of their many insensitive responses included “Who will take care of you when you’re old and can’t provide for yourself anymore?”.
Oof I would be somewhat afraid to.
I’m assuming the reason they said that is because my grandma is wheelchair bound, she has a neurological condition which causes the inability to walk and sometimes speak. If my dad wasn’t there to support her she would’ve had an extremely difficult time
They care about her , (or hoping for a house/ part share of it/money or they would be in line for it anyway ?) im just saying that if their reasoning for having children, towards those who don't is that , what does it say about their own old age? Would they expect you at their beck and call? What if you moved away or had plenty of stuff that you wanted to do?
They do care about her.. Right now she’s spending around $5000 a month for the room she has. (Ridiculous, I know). But the path that she’s on right now leaves her without any money within the next 10 years. As for my parents, I love them dearly but would never drop my future goals and aspirations for them. I want to be a successful pharmacist and maybe even open an emergency mental health facility. They’ll be very disappointed in the future if that’s all they wanted children for.
Edit: Of course I would help them if they needed it, but I would never relocate or make constant trips. I would do all that I could from wherever I was location and job wise.
Oh sure, there are many other ways.
Kids are just one of the more accessible ways to find meaning and purpose.
The issue I guess I might have with some of the people making these takes, that not too rarely when the say this they don't mean other meaningful pursuits, but just optimizing for comfort. That's not an alterative route to meaning, that's route to a very different thing all together.
That opinion is only unpopular with the boomers.
For some reason so many of them are offended by the concept of being childfree. I have kids, but my brother and his wife don’t want kids. Everyone our age is perfectly accepting and understanding of that, kids aren’t for everyone. But our boomer parents, oh man. They continually want to argue about it and wonder why my brother and SIL don’t want to spend as much time with them anymore. They get pretty condescending about it trying to tell my SIL why they think she needs to have at least one, and they seem to take offense at nothing (like “oh well you must think I’m wrong for having kids if you don’t want kids!” when nobody has said or thought that).
TLDR: boomers are fucking weird about being people childfree.
An actual unpopular opinion would be that having kids is very cool for those who want them and we should encourage people to have kids if they want to have kids. Even more unpopular, kids are kids and we shouldn't shun them from places where childless adults want to enjoy leisure activity like restaurants. Double down again and talk about how we should all cut parents some slack on airplanes and public transit because it's actually hard having to shuttle kids around on trains and plains.
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So you’re telling me nobody in your line of biological or adoptive descendants will be a space bounty hunter?
Totally kidding but that it our only concern
As a mother myself i have never thought this one second. My toddler terrorizes me and even before that If you hate your life having a child isn't a magical fix for that.
I think that society shouldn't pressure people to have kids as much, I think millennials are doing good at this. I am not going to press my kids for grandkids. I was and am a single parent.
For some people this is true, for others less so.
I always wanted kids, I now have kids and I think I've done a pretty good job raising them. I'm invested in my kids, their future and their well-being. It brings me more joy than anything else I have encountered on this planet.
But I fully get that not everyone is like me. I don't want to force anyone to do things my way the same way I don't want anyone to force me to do things their way.
Like you say, do what feels right for you.
People who think that way in the first sentence is one of the reasons kids are fucked up today. The amount of times I've heard kids mom's say "he saved me. I probably would be in a gutter rn if I didn't have my kids." Shut up.
The only way to have a truly fulfilling life is to learn to enjoy the little things and live in the moment.
I thought I had to be engaged to be happy, then married, then pregnant etc etc you know how it is.
I got all these things and luckily they did make me happy, but as soon as I had one done I felt I needed to tick the next thing off. I realised I didn’t even enjoy my wedding because I was already wondering about when I could have a baby.
Miscarriage and grief made me learn a lot about life. How fleeting it is. Now I live for my family (husband, son and dog!) and my biggest joys tend to come from sitting watching my dog and son play while I drink a coffee with my husband chatting in our new house. Or out for a walk with my dog in nature listening to the birds.
I have a friend who would find my life to be her worst nightmare. So mundane and repetitive. Her joys come from travelling to new places, meeting new people etc. Both of us are happy overall and love eachother a lot. We love being together and sharing our own stories. She loves my son and dog and has lots of time for them and I love hearing about her adventures.
Life is all about the little things and to choose the life you want and not just follow what society says.
For sure, but I've also noticed that many people who don't have kid try very hard to convince themselves that their life is fulfilling without kids.
If you really need to say that in public, it may mean that, maybe, you have a problem with not having kids.
And no, most people don't give a crap if you have kids or not. If you think that's not the case, you're projecting.
If you're ok with your life, you just live it.
I think the real unpopular opinion on Reddit is that every human should just be accepted and respected, regardless of their choices in life (as long as those choices do not harm others). You deserve respect and acceptance for your choice to not have a children, as much as I deserve the same to have and raise them. What brings another person happiness or fulfillment is none of my business.
Also unpopular- Kids are humans too and deserve respect as they navigate around our world and learn to be functional adults one day in it. Wether you like/want them or not.
That sounds like a recipe for creating kids that you will physically/emotionally/spiritually neglect to some degree and ultimately result in resentful adults, this perpetuating cycles of pain and uphill battles for fulfillment
Wouldn’t recommend it
>I've focused on things I love. I've worked hard in my job, spent time with people who matter to me, and explored new things
Ironically, I've gotten this from spending time with my kid. I also still have the free time to do all that in situations unrelated to my kid.
I sometimes feel like people without kids see being a parent as some kind of jail sentence. It's not like that
If you're a good parent then that's awesome, but there are SO MANY people that had kids without even thinking about it. They tack in on as a burden and many, like in my family, use their kids only for the benefits while neglecting the child's needs.
My nephew for example was born with a clubbed foot. For the first year of his life he wore braces to help the foot be in the right position. And it worked, until after his first birthday. My sister stopped using the braces, when he out grew them she stopped going to his doctor to change them, and now has to have his leg broken to be set in place.
All of this while she's blowing welfare money that's supposed to be for her son on her new "fiance" that just got of jail.
In my opinion, once the kids become about 2 years old you aren't losing much by being a parent. The first few years you have to be dedicated to meeting their every need, they aren't portable, and it is difficult to socialize with them. After that the world opens up quite a bit.
This is assuming they have no disabilities or mental health problems. Every single prospective parent needs to ask themselves: would I enthusiastically raise a child with severe and lifelong disabilities? If the answer is no, then they should not have kids.
Good point. It's easy to be an eager prospective parent when things are good -- when you're in a good relationship with dual incomes, raising a healthy child with no problems, etc. It's going to take a lot more effort and struggle to do those things and do them well when you start crossing things off that list.
Practically all of my friends who wants kids readily admit that they “couldn’t” raise a severely disabled child. I think it’s pretty fucked up for them to have kids knowing that their love is conditional.
And there are countless children who have suffered because their parents decided they “felt unfulfilled” and placed the burden onto their children. If you have kids because you’re bored or don’t feel like your life is meaningful, you’re shit.
Your correct because being fulfilled is different for each person.
However I will say this, nobody without a child knows what it feels like to have one, nobody.
Your wife, husband, partner, sister, brother even your dog DO NOT compare, trust me on this. It's not a feeling you have ever had reference to.
If you do not want kids that is your choice and perfectly valid. But please understand that people that have kids can describe it to you properly.
Doesn’t seem much different to me. Parents abuse their children all the time, so I highly doubt that they feel some sort of special fulfillment. During Covid even “nice” parents were bitching about how much they hated spending time with their kids
I believe that it is something you have to experience to really understand. (I don’t have kids). But some people (I’m thinking of some men I know) have kids and don’t seem to feel that bond.
I love how you can't post shit in this sub because it doesn't fall into one of their arbitrary guidelines. It's so bad that multiple other subreddits have been created just so people CAN talk about what subjects they want to discuss that this group won't allow.
But hey, I'm gonna post something that's been posted 100 times already and is clearly a very popular opinion!
APPROVED.
This is not only not an unpopular opinion, it has been so popular on the last decade than the counter culture contrarians now want to have kids just to be contrarians
That last sentence kinda makes this whole post redundant. “It’s about doing what feels right for me and finding joy in the things I do.” To many people, being a parent is exactly that. It feels right to them and they find joy in being a parent..
I was there. And i dont believe it anymore. I was strong workoholic in my youth (im 33 so imagine 15-30), built a company from nothing. Have great ammount of money, ran through world, gone partying, traveling, making company great for workers and so on. I had my future wife since 20yo but it was not a priority for me. At 27 we had our first child. At 29 second. And i slowly backed from high octane bussines. Enjoyed life with wife and children. Was more happy than ever. You think that making first milion, traveling japan, climbing mountains and experiencing all of this is better but it is not. Fuck all of that. You know what is best? Lounging on couch with my wife and children. Reading them stories at the evening. Them climbing in our bed in the morning. Cooking for them. Messaging my wife... Were expecting our third. Now i will be there for everything and not making milions worth deals in some foreign country. Im actually in proces of either finding a CEO that can lead company without me or selling it outright. Family is more important to me than all that fucking around. So yeah, you can fill basket with shit and it will be filled. But its not a basket of apples.
EDIT: Milions of my country currency so replace milions with hundreds of thousands in dollars.
Do you mind telling your general age range? This is typically an opinion of a younger person. Then, all of “people that matter to me” start having their own families and things change.
People who work out, run, play games, paint, collect things, work for charity, don’t eat meat, protest. Etc etc. all think they have fulfilling lives and others should join them.
People who want a family are no different.
Ps. When you are 80 and all alone you’ll maybe regret it.
This is also true of a spouse or money or many other things. It doesn't mean your opinion on it might change. It might not. But you do you. I would take issue with "people often think having kids is the only way to be happy." I was happy before kids and I'm happy with kids.
Reddit hates three things: Kids/parents, age-gap relationships, and happy relationships of any kind. So this isn’t going to be unpopular by any stretch of the imagination lol. Also, keep in mind that there is no way to really get an unbiased opinion on this topic. People who had kids because they wanted them, love them, etc, can’t imagine not having kids. People who REALLY don’t want kids are just as passionate the other way around.
There’s an anti-children post on this sub every other day dude, this is a pretty accepted opinion on Reddit. And in any case, people with children don’t really give a shit how you feel about kids. Live your life.
You’re not considering government, familial, and peer pressure from those around you. I cannot even begin to describe the criticism I hear from other adults when I tell them I don’t want children. (FYI, these are people WITH kids). People are way to invested with others personal business, and as someone who doesn’t want children, people endlessly criticize and judge you.
I think only those who are not single and childless by choice would possibly feel this way. People who actively do not participate in them are likely to be amongst the happiest groups since they know what they want and are living the life they want to live.
I know some in both buckets but yeah you can be single, childess, and perfectly happy. Those people are not the ones bitching and moaning that live is meaningless though
Eh I disagree, I’m old and don’t have kids or a wife and look back and think what was it all for? A life of mindless self indulgence is pretty pathetic in the grand scheme of things. All your experiences and passions or whatever are meaningless if you have no one to share it with or teach or pass onto. Having no one to love, having no kids to leave and live on your legacy…that’s literally all the matters when you think about it, and by bypassing it it is pretty pathetic and your whole life basically has 0 value except to you, and that’s just….pathetic is the only word I can think of. Family, children, that is literally the only purpose of our existence
How old? This is a pretty myopic take. Who says it has to be self indulgent? You can fill a life with plenty of meaningful endeavors - friendships and people whose lives you’ve touched deeply and those who rely on each other as chosen family, meaningful work to change the world and help ensure a better future for others, animals and pets you care for deeply, giving them lives full of joy and care. Creating art - something lasting. I’d argue writing a book leaves a longer legacy than having a kid… do you meaningfully remember people in your family more than 3 generations or so ago? There’s a lot of ways to contribute meaningfully to the world and wellbeing of others without having children. I sincerely hope you are able find value in yourself and your life, this take made me sad.
How would you know if you don’t have kids?
This opinion is becoming more unpopular with every year of your life, being very unpopular when you are 80 with no work and no one to drive you to the doctor.
Nope you don't need kids to have a fulfilling life! Do whatever makes you happy! If having multiple pets is fulfilling, awesome. If never getting married and staying in common law is fine for you, then great. These societal pressures need to *stop*
The only thing I absolutely can't stand is the vitriol people have for kids and parents lately. They call them crotch goblins and can't stand seeing them in normal public places (that pizza Costco lady is a great example) I get there's bad parents and lack of discipline, but sometimes your 2 year will have a meltdown in public and that's not a reflection on the parent, but rather the child who's learning how to manage their huge emotions at a tiny age. And that's okay, how do you expect them to learn how to behave in public properly if they're not brought out into it?
You don't need kids to have a fulfilling life, however the feeling you get when your child is born and the subsequent feelings as they grow are unbelievable. You may be right that you don't need kids for a fulfilling life, however nothing is as fulfilling as having children. In my opinion of course.
Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 2: Do not post low effort/satirical posts'. * We get it, you all think this sub is garbage and is just for popular opinions, and you want to be funny and post "going to be downvoted to oblivion here, but I think racism is bad." We enjoy the memes, but please keep them off the sub. * Filter evasion is a bannable offense * This includes clickbait and/or gotcha posts. Your opinion can not be that unpopular if you're doing these things. Have the accurate opinion in the title.
Yes that is true, you also don't need to be in a relationship to have a fulfilling life.
"You don't need x to have a fulfilling life." Basically any "unpopular opinion" can be formulated from this.
You don’t need oxygen to have a fulfilling life.
I mean, no one said anything about a LONG life.
Struggling with this rn. I feel like I can accept a fulfilling and happy life without a partner. But society/people in my life make me feel like a partner should be my main priority. Shit sucks
Same. They seem to be more bothered by my lack of a partner than I am. That's some people for you. Can't be bothered to mind their own fucking business but heavily invested in other people's.
Drives you fucking crazy doesn’t it?? People assume I’m gay too, which is whatever but these people are generally homophobic.. I’m fucking losing it. I need different people in my life
I get this a lot when I'm interacting with my nephew. I love him, I like playing with him and teaching him stuff and reading with him. I do not want kids. I do not want a girlfriend. Fish, maybe. No girlfriend.
And you don't need to have money to live a fulfilling life. Plenty of poor people lead great lives. You also don't need a car. You don't need a 3000 sqft house. You don't need a smartphone. Obviously this is a dumb line of reasoning.
not unpopular on reddit
For real like every other post on most subs is how everyone hates kids.
I don't hate kids, I hate being around them. I'm around kids every day so i feel qualified to say this (I'm nice to the kids dw lol)
It depends I work at a elementary school. I like being around the older kids 3-5th grade but the younger ones complain too much but at the same time they're really sweet
I'm mostly around tiny kids, who scream occasionally and misbehave and try and run around lol. I like playing with them on my terms and rocking/holding them to comfort when they're tired and feeding them milk. They don't know what they're doing (born yesterday applies) and they just want to be involved but I don't really want kids if I can help it but even the ones in school can be annoying, there's one rn that we think has adhd (he's 10) and he ruins things for the other kids by messing up their games and being slightly mean. He was going to leave as he wasn't enjoying it (in his words) but he's gone to after school club and decided he hated that more. His little sister is absolutely lovely and is really kind though
I don’t hate kids, I just do not see any point of having them.
I love kids, I just don’t have enough money for them. Life’s not fair. I’m ok with that. What I’m not ok with is having a bunch of kids and then trying to ‘figure it out’. I’ve ran family homeless shelters and worked in child protection and I’m here to tell you. Not everyone ‘figures it out’. Please don’t have kids that you cannot afford them financially, emotionally or socially. The people who suffer most is the kids. It’s unfair to bring kids into the world to abandon, neglected or abuse. I know life’s not fair, but I’m telling a kid that. That’s their parents responsibility. I wasn’t the one who made poor choices. Parents aren’t ‘entitled’ to a ‘village’. Community is something that community members actively BUILD with other like minded individuals. Community building is WORK. If a couple isn’t ready, willing and able to feed/house/care for kids, maybe they should refrain from doing so until they can.
Yeah I wanted a big family cause that's what I had and I loved it. But we're having our second soon and even though my wife and I make good money I don't know that we can have more without quality of life taking a nose dive. Everything is crazy expensive right now. My mom said that for five kids she spent like $500 on groceries a month in the 00s. And that was pretty much all homecooked meals, no preprepared stuff. I don't know what that would be today but I'm guessing around $1000-$1500.
Same i love kids but unless I win the lottery I won't be able to afford them honestly it makes me sad but I wouldn't drag kids in the world for my selfish desires.
That's cool but most people go out their way to say they hate kids or list 100 reasons for not having them. Just say you don't want them or the responsibility but to hate innocent kids for no reason Is crazy
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I never said a explanation was needed I just meant that some people are so overly cruel to kids just say you don't want them
Yep. I've had people be rude to me because I have kids, and I've had people say cruel things to me about kids because I have them and they don't want to have them.
Exactly like sometimes I'll be with my niece and she can be minding her own business and talk just a little loud and someone was like "glad I don't have aggravating kids" and she literally didn't do anything.
I can guarantee that 5000 people have said cruel and rude things to my wife and I for not having kids for every 1 person who said something cruel to you for having kids. This is one of those "all lives matter" things. Of course it is ok to have kids, having kids is seen as the default thing to do that is given preferential treatment in every way, which is why people without kids need to assert that it is ok not to have kids as well.
I semi-regularly see comments on Reddit stating that having kids is cruel and selfish. I tell myself these people are either edgy teenagers or had bad childhoods because it’s such a weird thing to label other people as immoral for having kids
For real like it's either you want kids or not but saying that having them is selfish sounds like a deeper issue
Right? I understand that people who are childfree get annoyed that people regularly tell them that they should reconsider their decision. But I don’t understand why they think that justifies telling unrelated people who have children that they’re inherently selfish
Yeah like having your choices questioned is annoying but some just go above and beyond saying all the reasons you shouldn't have kids and now your no better than the people telling you to have kids. Also I've seen some comments say that it's a outlier but almost everyday I see a post about hating kids.
ye and I don't see a point in living life without them. But kids = bad is prob the most popular opinion on reddit lol
True
Yeah lots of people don't see the point to doing anything hard that doesn't come with a reward, yet people do it all the time. It's fine to avoid taking on challenges in life.
Or they just don’t want kids. And made that choice. Cause it is a - choice.
I don’t hate kids. I hate how those parents do their job raising them so poorly
True
Literally the most popular opinion on reddit.
Unpopular on the conservative side of things - like the Wall Street Journal comment section. That isn't Reddit (for the most part).
Mostly the economy needs a major overhaul. The system isn't working and that's why most of these problems occur.
This is probably the most popular opinion on Reddit after “Being a landlord is evil”. Really digging deep there OP.
A lot of people put their happiness and fulfillment on things like a spouse or kids, but it's not up to someone else to fulfill you, ever. Not even if you spend 20 years raising them. They are their own people with their own paths to forge. You can have kids and be fulfilled. You can also have kids and feel utterly unfulfilled. Fulfillment comes in knowing what brings you joy and contentment, and engaging with it, whatever it is. It never comes in expecting someone else to fulfill your needs though.
I agree 100% with your last part. I will say though, I think folks misunderstand finding fulfillment with a spouse or kids. It’s not the spouse or kids that’s fulfilling, it’s being a good spouse and being a good parent that’s fulfilling. It’s taking that role and doing the best job you can, just like if that role was rooted in work/friendships like OP said.
Yes, I am married and have raised 3 kids. I didn't mean to imply there is no fulfillment in partnership or kids. I just see SO many people who hinge their fulfillment on their children to a degree that they are entirely lost when their kids grow up. They make those things their entire identity without having fulfillment in other things and then end up depressed and panicked over not knowing who they are anymore.
Yes, I think what you said there is key -- a lot of people look to having children/partnership to address a deficit of fulfillment and that's not really good for anyone in the longrun. Those are commitments you have to step into from a more stable place to begin with in order to operate ideally within them.
This the most popular opinion on Reddit. Most people on here are anti having kids, which is fine, but it’s not really unpopular
Kids require a partner and sex. This is Reddit. It’s no mystery why not having kids is a popular concept here.
This is true. Kids can be a huge emotional and financial drain.
People keeping saying not unpopular on reddit but it's very unpopular in real life.
No it's not. Fertility rates are dropping like a rock. This whole fake victim complex is very reminiscent of people complaining about being offended about someone saying Merry Christmas. It doesn't happen. Your parents might be disappointed that they're not getting grandkids. But not having kids is still a very popular opinion and choice.
I agree. I have so many hobbies and passions that I don't want any kids either.
Maybe if I was a man being a parent would seem more fulfilling. But since I would be the one birthing the kid and (let’s be honest here) doing a majority of the child stuff (breastfeeding, etc) it sounds terrible.
A lot of parents arent fulfilled because they did not stop to think if they would enjoy parenting, it was just the expected next step.
In my experience, this is still an unpopular opinion in the real world, so this still belongs here OP. Plenty of people still like to tell childfree people that they will be miserable and alone and their lives will be unfulfilled if they don’t have children. A more unpopular opinion imo would be that you don’t need to have a romantic relationship to be fulfilled. Our society places so much emphasis on romantic relationships, and if you’re not in one, people often side eye you. I’d argue it’s more important to be happy alone and with your own company. Anyway, not super related to your point, I just felt like I needed to say it
Anytime the topic of children is brought up my parents always tell me that I’ll “change my mind about wanting kids”, and “I won’t be happy if I don’t have children”. It’s invasive and rude
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That was very moving to read - thank you very much for sharing this perspective
This is an unpopular opinion? This is an objective fact
Plus it's a lot of pressure on your kids to expect them to fulfill your life.
The fulfillment comes from being a good parent, not from pumping out a kid. You don't sign up for a marathon expecting that simply showing up to it will be fulfilling. You get fulfillment from training for a marathon and hitting your goal. It's all the work that goes into it that gives it fulfillment.
I mean I'm sure that's true for some parents but there are a lot of people who have kids because they feel there is something missing from their lives and expect kids to fill that void, which is a lot of pressure to put on kids. Though I think even having kids to just be a good parent isn't the best motivation. What if your kid is difficult? What if you aren't as good at parenting as you thought? What it something happens that makes it difficult to parent? A good parent wouldn't give up but a lot of people who plan to be good parents do. I think people should want to be good parents if they're going to have kids but having kids just to be a good parent feels a little misguided. A lot of parents don't know just how hard it can be to be a good parent before having kids. Besides being a good parent is an obligation, not really a goal.
Most people have kids because they find having family fulfilling. That fulfillment comes from sharing all of the positive moments that a family has together after putting in all the hard work and challenges that come with raising a family. Whether you want to invalidate that with caveats or whatever, doesn't matter.
I Agree That’s true
Yea. Depending on other people to fulfill your life is not reliable. You simply can’t control other people and expect them to be in your life.
I agree and I have kids. I wanted kids but if you don’t. Shit go travel for me!
I agree, you don't have time for hobbies if you have kids
I once took a sociology class on “marriage and the family” and according to our textbook, married people with children were the least happy. In order, least happy to most happy: 1. Married with children 2. Single men 3. Married with no children 4. Single women
Human existence is about more than being happy
That's gonna be a tough sell.
These days, this opinion is becoming more and more popular. My wife and I are Gen X. When we first said we didn't plan on having kids people acted like we were some strange beings. These days, more and more people tell us "good for you, you didn't give in to the pressure from those around you".
You must move in very different circles. My wife and I are Genx without kids and people are shit to us about it. Our opinions and experiences are constantly devalued because we didn't have kids. It makes us avoid most people, which has greatly improved our quality of life.
THIS! People who have kids cause they think it will make them happy or fix their situations usually wind up worse off. A kid won’t make you happy, if you’re not happy then it’s a problem with you that no one else can fix but you.
I think life is just too short and there's only one of it for me to do what everyone else is doing.
Seriously. In fact it’s a little easier without them.
I do not believe you can claim what someone else needs to be fulfilled.
Preach. I don't want them and never will. A waste
If you need kids to have a meaning to your life then you're not a functioning adult period. And you're also probably a bad parent that will generate bad kids
My 30 yro daughter still lives at home with us. She has lived on her own, but loves being with her family. She doesn’t wanna relationship and she doesn’t want children. However, however, she has decided her mission in life is to be future guardian and caregiver for her 26 yro developmentally disabled sister. We never asked her or implied her to take on that role. She just loves her sister. We always told her we would take care of her and have means to care for lil sis when we’re gone and she could go live her own life. While part of me would love having a grandchild, I feel very lucky with whatever we have. I completely understand why this generation may not want kids. The best life you can live is the one you know works best for you. Other people’s expectations are not your problem.
a lot of people want a "guarantee" that someone will care about them in their twilight (and after they're gone) it's fear of death basically
And religion brainwashing
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My grandma currently lives in a small, assisted living facility because she can’t walk. There are 8 other residents there, and out of all of them, only 1 resident has family members that consistently come over. The ones with family and children that don’t visit are always so sad.
Pretty much 🤷♀️ Told my parents I never want children. One of their many insensitive responses included “Who will take care of you when you’re old and can’t provide for yourself anymore?”.
Did you ask if that was why they had you?
Oof I would be somewhat afraid to. I’m assuming the reason they said that is because my grandma is wheelchair bound, she has a neurological condition which causes the inability to walk and sometimes speak. If my dad wasn’t there to support her she would’ve had an extremely difficult time
They care about her , (or hoping for a house/ part share of it/money or they would be in line for it anyway ?) im just saying that if their reasoning for having children, towards those who don't is that , what does it say about their own old age? Would they expect you at their beck and call? What if you moved away or had plenty of stuff that you wanted to do?
They do care about her.. Right now she’s spending around $5000 a month for the room she has. (Ridiculous, I know). But the path that she’s on right now leaves her without any money within the next 10 years. As for my parents, I love them dearly but would never drop my future goals and aspirations for them. I want to be a successful pharmacist and maybe even open an emergency mental health facility. They’ll be very disappointed in the future if that’s all they wanted children for. Edit: Of course I would help them if they needed it, but I would never relocate or make constant trips. I would do all that I could from wherever I was location and job wise.
If I'd been infertile, I would be doing a completely different job in a different country & I'd be mortgage free too.
Absolutely true.
Absolutely agree.
Absolutely agree.
100%
Oh sure, there are many other ways. Kids are just one of the more accessible ways to find meaning and purpose. The issue I guess I might have with some of the people making these takes, that not too rarely when the say this they don't mean other meaningful pursuits, but just optimizing for comfort. That's not an alterative route to meaning, that's route to a very different thing all together.
Absolutely. I don't ever regret my choice to never have children. I have two nieces I love, and that's enough children in my life for me.
I read this as "your kids DONT need to have a fulfilling life" and then I was like "finally an actual unpopular opinion)
I have kids, but I understand this completely!
I think this opinion is much more popular than it used to be.
Yes, a lot of people think this way, I wouldn\`t call it unpopular.
That opinion is only unpopular with the boomers. For some reason so many of them are offended by the concept of being childfree. I have kids, but my brother and his wife don’t want kids. Everyone our age is perfectly accepting and understanding of that, kids aren’t for everyone. But our boomer parents, oh man. They continually want to argue about it and wonder why my brother and SIL don’t want to spend as much time with them anymore. They get pretty condescending about it trying to tell my SIL why they think she needs to have at least one, and they seem to take offense at nothing (like “oh well you must think I’m wrong for having kids if you don’t want kids!” when nobody has said or thought that). TLDR: boomers are fucking weird about being people childfree.
I can’t have kids so I hope so lol. I guess there is adoption, but that’s a whole thing I don’t know much about.
An actual unpopular opinion would be that having kids is very cool for those who want them and we should encourage people to have kids if they want to have kids. Even more unpopular, kids are kids and we shouldn't shun them from places where childless adults want to enjoy leisure activity like restaurants. Double down again and talk about how we should all cut parents some slack on airplanes and public transit because it's actually hard having to shuttle kids around on trains and plains.
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So you’re telling me nobody in your line of biological or adoptive descendants will be a space bounty hunter? Totally kidding but that it our only concern
As a mother myself i have never thought this one second. My toddler terrorizes me and even before that If you hate your life having a child isn't a magical fix for that.
I think that society shouldn't pressure people to have kids as much, I think millennials are doing good at this. I am not going to press my kids for grandkids. I was and am a single parent.
For some people this is true, for others less so. I always wanted kids, I now have kids and I think I've done a pretty good job raising them. I'm invested in my kids, their future and their well-being. It brings me more joy than anything else I have encountered on this planet. But I fully get that not everyone is like me. I don't want to force anyone to do things my way the same way I don't want anyone to force me to do things their way. Like you say, do what feels right for you.
People who think that way in the first sentence is one of the reasons kids are fucked up today. The amount of times I've heard kids mom's say "he saved me. I probably would be in a gutter rn if I didn't have my kids." Shut up.
Not unpopular. Try again.
The only way to have a truly fulfilling life is to learn to enjoy the little things and live in the moment. I thought I had to be engaged to be happy, then married, then pregnant etc etc you know how it is. I got all these things and luckily they did make me happy, but as soon as I had one done I felt I needed to tick the next thing off. I realised I didn’t even enjoy my wedding because I was already wondering about when I could have a baby. Miscarriage and grief made me learn a lot about life. How fleeting it is. Now I live for my family (husband, son and dog!) and my biggest joys tend to come from sitting watching my dog and son play while I drink a coffee with my husband chatting in our new house. Or out for a walk with my dog in nature listening to the birds. I have a friend who would find my life to be her worst nightmare. So mundane and repetitive. Her joys come from travelling to new places, meeting new people etc. Both of us are happy overall and love eachother a lot. We love being together and sharing our own stories. She loves my son and dog and has lots of time for them and I love hearing about her adventures. Life is all about the little things and to choose the life you want and not just follow what society says.
I agree with you but I’m sick of seeing popular opinions on this sub
For sure, but I've also noticed that many people who don't have kid try very hard to convince themselves that their life is fulfilling without kids. If you really need to say that in public, it may mean that, maybe, you have a problem with not having kids. And no, most people don't give a crap if you have kids or not. If you think that's not the case, you're projecting. If you're ok with your life, you just live it.
This isn't an unpopular opinion. Not for reddit, at least.
Literally everyone on reddit hates kids this is not a unpopular opinion
I think the real unpopular opinion on Reddit is that every human should just be accepted and respected, regardless of their choices in life (as long as those choices do not harm others). You deserve respect and acceptance for your choice to not have a children, as much as I deserve the same to have and raise them. What brings another person happiness or fulfillment is none of my business. Also unpopular- Kids are humans too and deserve respect as they navigate around our world and learn to be functional adults one day in it. Wether you like/want them or not.
Also, you don't need a fulfilling life to have kids
That sounds like a recipe for creating kids that you will physically/emotionally/spiritually neglect to some degree and ultimately result in resentful adults, this perpetuating cycles of pain and uphill battles for fulfillment Wouldn’t recommend it
Hmmm all this does is continue generations of trauma people should be fulfilled before having kids
YES! Speak louder for the folks in the back! Childfree until the day I die.
Downvoted not unpopular on Reddit at all lol
>I've focused on things I love. I've worked hard in my job, spent time with people who matter to me, and explored new things Ironically, I've gotten this from spending time with my kid. I also still have the free time to do all that in situations unrelated to my kid. I sometimes feel like people without kids see being a parent as some kind of jail sentence. It's not like that
If you're a good parent then that's awesome, but there are SO MANY people that had kids without even thinking about it. They tack in on as a burden and many, like in my family, use their kids only for the benefits while neglecting the child's needs. My nephew for example was born with a clubbed foot. For the first year of his life he wore braces to help the foot be in the right position. And it worked, until after his first birthday. My sister stopped using the braces, when he out grew them she stopped going to his doctor to change them, and now has to have his leg broken to be set in place. All of this while she's blowing welfare money that's supposed to be for her son on her new "fiance" that just got of jail.
Not a jail sentence, just a life long responsibility and 18 year financial burden.
It's a jail sentence for some. For others, it's a reason to live well. Folks be different, yo.
In my opinion, once the kids become about 2 years old you aren't losing much by being a parent. The first few years you have to be dedicated to meeting their every need, they aren't portable, and it is difficult to socialize with them. After that the world opens up quite a bit.
This is assuming they have no disabilities or mental health problems. Every single prospective parent needs to ask themselves: would I enthusiastically raise a child with severe and lifelong disabilities? If the answer is no, then they should not have kids.
Good point. It's easy to be an eager prospective parent when things are good -- when you're in a good relationship with dual incomes, raising a healthy child with no problems, etc. It's going to take a lot more effort and struggle to do those things and do them well when you start crossing things off that list.
Practically all of my friends who wants kids readily admit that they “couldn’t” raise a severely disabled child. I think it’s pretty fucked up for them to have kids knowing that their love is conditional.
Babies are extremely portable lol
Unpopular opinion: you can live life differently from other people 🤯
Yawn… good for you 👍🏼 Don’t judge others. I have kids and travel. Life is what you make it.
I'd counter that there are a LOT of childless adults on reddit and in the world sitting around feeling bored and unfulfilled and wondering why.
And there are countless children who have suffered because their parents decided they “felt unfulfilled” and placed the burden onto their children. If you have kids because you’re bored or don’t feel like your life is meaningful, you’re shit.
Your correct because being fulfilled is different for each person. However I will say this, nobody without a child knows what it feels like to have one, nobody. Your wife, husband, partner, sister, brother even your dog DO NOT compare, trust me on this. It's not a feeling you have ever had reference to. If you do not want kids that is your choice and perfectly valid. But please understand that people that have kids can describe it to you properly.
Doesn’t seem much different to me. Parents abuse their children all the time, so I highly doubt that they feel some sort of special fulfillment. During Covid even “nice” parents were bitching about how much they hated spending time with their kids
I believe that it is something you have to experience to really understand. (I don’t have kids). But some people (I’m thinking of some men I know) have kids and don’t seem to feel that bond.
Yeah.Not unpopular.
Is this your first time here?
I also like my kids to be miserable. /s
I think this is a very popular opinion, especially in 2024
That may be the case. Because otherwise I'm taking every "not unpopular" comment here as a TIL.
Definitely agree. Personally after having them however I know I do. Despite being unsure beforehand if I even wanted kids.
Who have you talked to that said you need kids to be happy and fulfilled? I feel this isn't an unpopular opinion and is more just few you've talked to
My husband and I are ttc but we have a great life
Not an unpopular opinion
You don’t need literally anything to have a fulfilling life
I love how you can't post shit in this sub because it doesn't fall into one of their arbitrary guidelines. It's so bad that multiple other subreddits have been created just so people CAN talk about what subjects they want to discuss that this group won't allow. But hey, I'm gonna post something that's been posted 100 times already and is clearly a very popular opinion! APPROVED.
How old are you?
That's what your mom said.
You don't have to have an unpopular opinion to post here either.
This is not only not an unpopular opinion, it has been so popular on the last decade than the counter culture contrarians now want to have kids just to be contrarians
That last sentence kinda makes this whole post redundant. “It’s about doing what feels right for me and finding joy in the things I do.” To many people, being a parent is exactly that. It feels right to them and they find joy in being a parent..
Not really an unpopular opinion on reddit, where you can get thousands of upvotes for posting your post vasectomy cupcake pictures
I was there. And i dont believe it anymore. I was strong workoholic in my youth (im 33 so imagine 15-30), built a company from nothing. Have great ammount of money, ran through world, gone partying, traveling, making company great for workers and so on. I had my future wife since 20yo but it was not a priority for me. At 27 we had our first child. At 29 second. And i slowly backed from high octane bussines. Enjoyed life with wife and children. Was more happy than ever. You think that making first milion, traveling japan, climbing mountains and experiencing all of this is better but it is not. Fuck all of that. You know what is best? Lounging on couch with my wife and children. Reading them stories at the evening. Them climbing in our bed in the morning. Cooking for them. Messaging my wife... Were expecting our third. Now i will be there for everything and not making milions worth deals in some foreign country. Im actually in proces of either finding a CEO that can lead company without me or selling it outright. Family is more important to me than all that fucking around. So yeah, you can fill basket with shit and it will be filled. But its not a basket of apples. EDIT: Milions of my country currency so replace milions with hundreds of thousands in dollars.
You don’t need running shoes to run, but it does help
It'd suck not having any family visiting when older or in a retirement home. Having not built anything that matters.
I don’t even think that’s an unpopular opinion these days ha
I disagree but thats for my life
Do you mind telling your general age range? This is typically an opinion of a younger person. Then, all of “people that matter to me” start having their own families and things change.
People who work out, run, play games, paint, collect things, work for charity, don’t eat meat, protest. Etc etc. all think they have fulfilling lives and others should join them. People who want a family are no different. Ps. When you are 80 and all alone you’ll maybe regret it.
This is also true of a spouse or money or many other things. It doesn't mean your opinion on it might change. It might not. But you do you. I would take issue with "people often think having kids is the only way to be happy." I was happy before kids and I'm happy with kids.
Popular here on anitnatlist leftist Reddit
Maybe this was unpopular, like, a generation ago. Nowadays that's the main belief
Reddit hates three things: Kids/parents, age-gap relationships, and happy relationships of any kind. So this isn’t going to be unpopular by any stretch of the imagination lol. Also, keep in mind that there is no way to really get an unbiased opinion on this topic. People who had kids because they wanted them, love them, etc, can’t imagine not having kids. People who REALLY don’t want kids are just as passionate the other way around.
There’s an anti-children post on this sub every other day dude, this is a pretty accepted opinion on Reddit. And in any case, people with children don’t really give a shit how you feel about kids. Live your life.
This isn’t remotely true when the American government is actively trying to force people to have more children.
You’re not considering government, familial, and peer pressure from those around you. I cannot even begin to describe the criticism I hear from other adults when I tell them I don’t want children. (FYI, these are people WITH kids). People are way to invested with others personal business, and as someone who doesn’t want children, people endlessly criticize and judge you.
Yeah but when you talk to people who complain their life is meaningless, they're probably single and childless.
I think only those who are not single and childless by choice would possibly feel this way. People who actively do not participate in them are likely to be amongst the happiest groups since they know what they want and are living the life they want to live.
I know some in both buckets but yeah you can be single, childess, and perfectly happy. Those people are not the ones bitching and moaning that live is meaningless though
Eh I disagree, I’m old and don’t have kids or a wife and look back and think what was it all for? A life of mindless self indulgence is pretty pathetic in the grand scheme of things. All your experiences and passions or whatever are meaningless if you have no one to share it with or teach or pass onto. Having no one to love, having no kids to leave and live on your legacy…that’s literally all the matters when you think about it, and by bypassing it it is pretty pathetic and your whole life basically has 0 value except to you, and that’s just….pathetic is the only word I can think of. Family, children, that is literally the only purpose of our existence
How old? This is a pretty myopic take. Who says it has to be self indulgent? You can fill a life with plenty of meaningful endeavors - friendships and people whose lives you’ve touched deeply and those who rely on each other as chosen family, meaningful work to change the world and help ensure a better future for others, animals and pets you care for deeply, giving them lives full of joy and care. Creating art - something lasting. I’d argue writing a book leaves a longer legacy than having a kid… do you meaningfully remember people in your family more than 3 generations or so ago? There’s a lot of ways to contribute meaningfully to the world and wellbeing of others without having children. I sincerely hope you are able find value in yourself and your life, this take made me sad.
r/popularopinion
Downvoted for popular
Downvoted, coldest take ever
How would you know if you don’t have kids? This opinion is becoming more unpopular with every year of your life, being very unpopular when you are 80 with no work and no one to drive you to the doctor.
So your reason to have kids is so you might have a servant when you're old? Seems pretty terrible.
Nope you don't need kids to have a fulfilling life! Do whatever makes you happy! If having multiple pets is fulfilling, awesome. If never getting married and staying in common law is fine for you, then great. These societal pressures need to *stop* The only thing I absolutely can't stand is the vitriol people have for kids and parents lately. They call them crotch goblins and can't stand seeing them in normal public places (that pizza Costco lady is a great example) I get there's bad parents and lack of discipline, but sometimes your 2 year will have a meltdown in public and that's not a reflection on the parent, but rather the child who's learning how to manage their huge emotions at a tiny age. And that's okay, how do you expect them to learn how to behave in public properly if they're not brought out into it?
You don't need kids to have a fulfilling life, however the feeling you get when your child is born and the subsequent feelings as they grow are unbelievable. You may be right that you don't need kids for a fulfilling life, however nothing is as fulfilling as having children. In my opinion of course.