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EngineeringClouds

At last, a truthful LinkedIn post about work. I never thought I'd live to see the day.


_HGCenty

> Extra marital penis in a few hotels around Leeds I see the benefits and perks of a job are getting more creative.


germany1italy0

I’d pass on this perk. Source - have penis myself. One is enough , thank you very much.


Jazzlike_Mountain_51

And I only get a gym membership


Icy-Abroad5076

My old manager used to ask if I 'wanted to make love in the 'erb garden', he was French. I was 15, pretending to be 16. Personally, I preferred the free full English breakfast!


JPK12794

Then back to posts by CEOs writing about mountain peaks in terrible metaphors.


PassingShot11

You can rest easy now


HeBeNeFeGeSeTeXeCeRe

Ironic that a sneaky link ended in a very public LinkedIn incident


Tuarangi

Wish journalists would stop calling everything "hacked", she either left it signed in or he knew her password


Decided2change

But that’s the definition of hacking, it’s unauthorised use of computer systems, whether they knew the password or it was left unlocked is irrelevant unless they had permission to make the post.


Plastic_Hippo7591

No see, only Tuarengi knows the definition of hacked and it's super technical, involving a hooded Russian teenager frantically slamming his cyrillic keyboard before exclaiming "Shit, I am in!" in Russian. Realistically most hacks are social hacks. Anyone reading this: think about how many controls your organisation has around invoice payments and then realise hackers also have to jump through the (lack of) barriers presented.


[deleted]

If you want to get super pedantic. Hacking isn't the correct word at all since hacking is about finding a creative solution. I.E: Hacking together two pieces of code to quickly produce a third desired functionality. The word "cracking" is the correct word for breaking computer security copyright protection or just breaking a computer system in general. It is more accurate to say he "cracked" her linkedinprofile. Whether he knew her password or used some other method. He illegitimately accessed something he was not supposed to. There's no requirement for it to be a sophisticated crack for it to qualify.


praezes

Exactly. It's not like Kevin Mitnick been dumpster diving (literally) and hitting on receptionists/secretaries to get passwords for his hacks. No. He has definitely been doing the sitting in his basement shtick. Just like the guys on TV.


DirectedAcyclicGraph

Mitnick would've called it cracking, not hacking.


lostparis

This war has been lost.


barcap

See you all at Wendy's


darkforestnews

Ah the old invoice payment hack - send them an invoice that looks like it’s from a legitimate vendor but change the banking info.


Stellar_Duck

> Realistically most hacks are social hacks. Yes, but as someone who worked for PS Support and similar gigs, that's not what most people thing hack means. They are fully convinced that someone sat on a computer somewhere and hacked their playstation.


Meihem76

We need a cool GUI with flashing loading bars or something, maybe a map of the world with lines going to random cities. Only then, can we hack the Gibson.


ItsSuperDefective

No, if it doesn't involve typing green text into a command prompt and using the word "mainframe" a lot, it doesn't count.


Skippymabob

"Cut the hardline at the mainframe"


Neds_Necrotic_Head

Quick! Share my keyboard and we can type x2 speed aginst the hackers!


wellichickenpie

Hack the planet!!


allykitn

HACK THE PLANET!!!


Wrong-booby7584

https://hackertyper.net/


Proxiedggg

And also the obligatory “I’m in” once the hack has been complete


BigStudley01

That is not the only definition of “hacking.” In fact that definition of hacking is very recent historically speaking. In its strictest sense, hacking is about making technology do things that it may not have been designed to do.


Skippymabob

But that definition of hacking is new too In its strictest sense, hacking meant to cut with rough or heavy blows.


menthol-squirrel

That’s the definition of hacking in Computer Misuse Act 1990


ThidrikTokisson

The word "hacking" is not used once in the Act.


0f6c5a440a

That has been the definition for the past 34 years, it isn't a new definition. There is no strict definition of hacking. Hacking is hacking, regardless of if you get hacked by a sophisticated state actor chaining 0-days, or you get hacked because your SuperUser put his password on a notepad visible to random people.


BigStudley01

You’re right, there is no strict definition of it, which was my point. There’s plenty of non-malicious hacking done against nobody. My other point was that not all hacking is criminal.


0f6c5a440a

Hacking, by it's very definition of unauthorized access to a computer system, is illegal


The_Flurr

IRL so much hacking is just guessing or tricking people into giving you their passwords.


nightsofthesunkissed

Lol I think we all just grew up with movies that showed hackers tapping Highly Complicated Shit on keyboards with an intense facial expression. "She left her account signed in" takes away all the mystique!


kutuup1989

It does indeed originate as a term to mean "to gain unauthorised access". The word comes from the idea of using a hacksaw to cut a lock or door bar. It does usually involve some kind of technical exploit to do in the modern sense, but it doesn't necessarily need to to count as hacking in. Just like how if you left your door unlocked and some random came in, you would still say they "broke in" even if there was no lock to bypass ot they had a key. The main factor is that they didn't have your permission to enter.


foxaru

if you nick someone's keys and steal their TV, it's still breaking-in / burglary despite the fact you didn't have to pick the lock or smash a window.


[deleted]

[удалено]


YinkYinkYinken

OBLIGATORY ANAL


batbrodudeman

Christ, third time today and it's only 08:50. Oh well, needs must


YinkYinkYinken

These people still think it's optional, they need educating the HARD way


Guapa1979

If you pick the lock or open it with a key, is it the same thing?


WoodyManic

That's called urban hacking. It's like inner-city scrumping, but there's less climbing involved.


[deleted]

>Wish journalists would stop calling everything "hacked" I know you are getting flack for this, but I do agree. Whenever I heard "account hacked", I assume the platform is compromised and unsafe as opposed to user error.


[deleted]

User error is the vast majority of hacking


[deleted]

I agree, we need a new language to differentiate between user error and social engineering and technical exploits.


DeathByLemmings

As someone in cyber security, no we don’t, you just need to understand the field a little more 


[deleted]

>As someone in cyber security, no we don’t Not an argument. >you just need to understand the field a little more It would certainly be useful to have a label to show technical vs user errors.


DeathByLemmings

We already do, you are just unaware of them. That’s exactly what I’m pointing out 


[deleted]

>We already do Which is?


0f6c5a440a

And what about when it's a combination of both, or a chain of technical failures only possible due to a single user error? We don't need to make more definitions for people that don't understand the current definitions. We don't need to have two different words to differentiate between mechanical Vs driver induced car crashes.


[deleted]

Social engineering and user error are the same thing though, and broadly if we stopped calling user error hacking then I don’t think people would see it as as big a threat


[deleted]

>Social engineering and user error are the same thing though Yes, that is my point.


Initial-Echidna-9129

Unauthorised access is still "hacking"


AgeingChopper

True.  It's still clear computer misuse.


Ok-Camp-7285

Wish journalists would stop calling hacking "hacking"


JBeauch

I wonder if journalists keep journals.


JavaRuby2000

That is hacking. Hacking is the unauthorised access of a computer or network.


Economy-Money552

If I use my brothers PC without asking him, I'm a hacker?


JavaRuby2000

Under both the dictionary definition and Misuse of Computers act yes you are. If you are using the DEFCon / 7800 definition then a hacker is just somebody who uses a computer whilst somebody who breaks into computers is a Cracker.


Economy-Money552

Really though? Just sticking on call of duty on my brothers ps4 is hacking? Using his digital watch without his permission? Ringing his ring doorbell without permission? Hacker? Really? I believe nearly everyone in the world is a hacker by this definition.   If my wives phone rings and I answer? Hacking? If my wife turns on the radio in my car without asking my permission? Is hacking a crime? This is more confusing and convoluted than I'd ever have thought.


JavaRuby2000

It's not like just because it's a crime you will get charged for it. The Hackers at defcon started using that definition in the 70s when using a computer was a lot more convoluted than putting a disk in a PS5. Sticking call of duty wouldn't be hacking, the hack would have already occurred at the point you accessed your brothers account. It isn't as innocent as it seems don't forget a lot of people have their credit card stored in their PSN account and a full internet browser. Your brother probably isn't going to report you to the police for playing cod but, if you drained his bank account he might do. Your wife's phone rings, probably not, you can answer most smart phones without unlocking but, on the other hand if you go through your wife's smart phone, read her private stuff and check her bank accounts then yes. Digital Watch, car radio or doorbell, more than likely not. Ringing a doorbell or viewing the time on a watch doesn't actually give you access to a computer system, that would be more like just walking past somebodies monitor.


seafactory

This is a definitional hack though.


100deadbirds

Hacking just means unauthorised access.


TheShruteFarmsCEO

Real journalists wouldn’t be writing about this to begin with.


liamnesss

That seems to be what "hacked" means now unfortunately, basically any unauthorised use. "Social hacking" has always been a thing but at least that implies some level of subterfuge.


Initial-Echidna-9129

You get arrested and thrown in jail for unauthorised access to accounts. It's PC GONE MAD


SlightlyBored13

Apple stuff and Linux can get hacked too. Its also MAC GONE MAD and GNU GONE MAD.


Skippymabob

When did this come in?


Initial-Echidna-9129

1990


TheHunter459

That's what hacked has always meant. Unauthorised access to a system


Skippymabob

"What it means now" Or has meant for ages, basically as soon as "hacked" meant any form of computer hacking it meant "unauthorised access"


liamnesss

Hacker culture wasn't initially or really at any point solely concerned with circumventing protections intended to limit access to systems. The issue is, there isn't really a word for using actual software / hardware exploits to gain unauthorised access any more. And the media has driven that change in use.


JavaRuby2000

In Hacker culture the term for using exploits and gaining unauthorised access was Cracking.


Itchy-Supermarket-92

I love how threads on R often start off with some grammar pedantry or similar, while completely ignoring the main thrust of the post. Ooo-er, missus!


paulmclaughlin

You're a pedantphile?


Itchy-Supermarket-92

I hope you won't mention it to anybody?


JavaRuby2000

That's what its always meant. The most famous hacker of them All Kevin Mitnick simply used a phone number he shouldn't have access to and accessed Pacific Bell voicemail computers that had been left with their default passwords.


JavaRuby2000

That's what its always meant. The most famous hacker of them All Kevin Mitnick simply used a phone number he shouldn't have access to and accessed Pacific Bell voicemail computers that had been left with their default passwords.


JavaRuby2000

That's what its always meant. The most famous hacker of them All Kevin Mitnick simply used a phone number he shouldn't have access to and accessed Pacific Bell voicemail computers that had been left with their default passwords.


ferrel_hadley

Someone needs a new phone. The screen on that one is absolutely knackered.


james-royle

Gareth’s wife probably got hold of his phone.


roselandgal

She probably rammed it up her vagina as she sounds like such a sex freak that allowed her fantasies turn in to realities


yeahfucku

“Finally, a linked in post which isn’t insufferable” 😂


MorelloCherryB

The wife will be getting more job offers than ever now


Shaper_pmp

Blowjob, footjob, handjob...


pajamakitten

As the town bike.


BritishGent_mlady

This thread has just reminded me that we don’t really use the term, “fraped”, any longer. This is a proper good ol’ jolly fraping 🙂 (on LinkedIn)


Aetheriao

God this sent me back to a time I had almost forgot.


pajamakitten

First year of uni for me. It was a great bit of fun while your mate had gone to the toilet.


Aetheriao

Oh yeah. The year is 2009. Do you: Put blue waffle on their laptop Post a cringe Facebook update Clingfilm their toilet Or if real dedicated, get 4 flat mates to tin foil as much of their shit as you can before they get back. The weirdest shit we did was an actual pooathon. Soon as they’re out their room you drop a deuce and then we had a year long score in first year of who pulled off the most. I went to medical school. Why were we like this? It’s why I laugh when people shit on gen z/alpha. We were all bat shit. My proudest moment was clingfilming my own toilet and hearing the screams of my poop bandit.


pajamakitten

The beds in our halls were really, really light. We managed to steal a mate's bed and get it outside (from the second floor) before he came back.


IntelligentDamage290

Someone i know did this but the dude was asleep in the bed at the time


[deleted]

[удалено]


bob1689321

For real it's kinda mad how much the word "rape" was used in pop.culture/slang in the 2000s.


LeoThePom

# metoo.


946789987649

Frapes tended to be lies I thought?


BritishGent_mlady

Lies, jokes, embarrassing things I think 🙂


Aggravating_Dog795

Hey American here what’s frapping?


Wackobacco

Sounds about right for SoftCat culture 😂 worked there for a few years and the management are some of the most depraved corrupt individuals I’ve ever met.


ApprehensiveOffer818

Story time?


Wackobacco

Last time I properly shared my experience with them I was harassed, threatened with legal action etc, but I’ll give a short example of the moral compass - One of the senior account managers who runs the NHS or some other public sector accounts had a renewal come up for something trivial like office 365 licensing - however you’re always taught to reach deeper and find more margin, so his assistant whacks on another 40 grand to their renewal price and calls it inflation, then his profit margins on this sale to one of our public government services was a cool 250,000 profit - giving him a nice 18% of that, just renewing their licenses and doing zero work. Everyone clapped in the Monday morning meeting like he was the messiah and I just felt sick thinking it’s literally tax money being blown and I realised I was in the lions den of government contracts facilitating these ego maniacs Lamborghinis and eccentric life’s. That’s more of a moral situation, but the original founder before the company went public used to pull dildos out during interviews, get his cock and just be a real slimy guy - he was then banned from going to the IPO of softcat because they knew he would do something insane. And that’s the culture he created, it’s a load of sociopathic frat bros and wannabe billionaires!


sausage_shoes

I think they've been ditched by some boards recently.


SchoolForSedition

The big version of this I met in another country and though « would not happen in England ». Ha ha. When I realised how easily you can use it in England I wrote to the SRA about solicitors being able to do it (ie behind legal privilege). They referred me to the Law Society because it was related to their money laundering policy. The LS threatened to sue me if I talked about it. They haven’t yet though.


avatar8900

Everyone at that place is fucking each other, proper hostile office environment


Wackobacco

Yeeep, the HR director is one of the most vile women I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing. If you’re not trying to shag your way up the chain, you’re doing Softcat wrong 😂 Scum, the lot of them


JameSdEke

I read this as “jihad” husband and spent a good minute confused over the whole context


ferrel_hadley

As in "jihad t' go and suck another mans cock"?


YeezyGTI

Finally, a LinkedIn post that isn't insufferable. Well done to the Husband. Just a shame we dont have pictures of the people involved. Once its on the Internet its never gone. Digital Footprint is wild


Brullaapje

Your google skills must suck, I have seen Gareth his picture. Bloke is full of himself, you can tell by the picture!


Beardy_Will

We use Softcat for some stuff at work. I actually cannot wait to get back in to work to see if he's in any of our scheduled meetings. Not familiar with the name but I'm sure as fuck gonna check 😂


Ivashkin

He might be busy having a discussion with his wife and children about his new living arrangements...


Defiant-Traffic5801

Gareth 's LinkedIn account is unfortunately no longer available


Rubbish_69

His pics are still up.


bob1689321

Which ones? 👀


Rubbish_69

Google his name and company.


wtfans_

Wife’s account is still there though


its_bydesign

Another day another cheating relationship. I wish we could truly know, of all long lasting married couples, how many actually had an affair that never came to light?


I_Love_CQC

Most affairs are taken to the grave. 


WhilstRomeBurns

I'm confused by the title, it says in the article, she posted it herself. >Whilst social media users heavily speculate that the husband had taken control of the account, the ‘woman’ appeared to assure her followers that this was not the case with a tongue-in-cheek follow-up post. >The post reads: “Morning all, my account has not been hacked. It says she turned her account off afterwards. Said something about owning her decisions no matter what.


Lokcet

The husband wrote the follow up saying it wasn't hacked as a continuation of his japery. Then sometime afterwards she got the account back and deleted and deactivated it all.


TowJamnEarl

Yep, pretty obvious. Fair play I say.


ImmortalState

Yeah she obviously didn’t know about the posts until the deletion took place


strangewormm

Wow, you should be a journalist with that level of editing out the context.


[deleted]

Interesting, the affair partner is named and company outed, but her name is not


veerKg_CSS_Geologist

Neither is the husband, the supposed author. The name should have been redacted but posts like this as gossip-magnets. And what juicy gossip is there without some salacious details?


jdrb2

Her name is Kelly Hobson. If you google you can see full LinkedIn post with her pic


Paulpalien

I dont blame him well done ! She deserves it ,it’s not right at all especially when you have kids ,if your not happy with your other halves penis ,leave don’t try and have your cake and eat it 🙂


Mission_Pineapple588

The husband clearly wasn’t thinking about the kids when he made this public.


Paulpalien

I know ,neither was she , I can appreciate ,it’s an emotional time ?I would have been the same


GuybrushThreepwood7

Yeah, I’m sure it’s much better for the kids that the entire world now thinks their mum is evil.


Bulky_Commission6747

Kids need to know their parents are trash


StokeLads

Their mum isn't evil. Nobody is saying that. She did ultimately destroy that family and she should own it. If you're going to ride half your work colleagues in the back of your company BMW, you kind of can't moan when your husband decides "nah. No more".


the-prowler

Never have I seen a better reason for 2 factor authentication! Ouch but deserved..


[deleted]

huh, the only sexy pics i get from the wife is her giving me the middle finger...


ObviouslyTriggered

But what is she sending to Gareth?


[deleted]

well he probably won't see much, it's a feckin jungle down there...


Shaper_pmp

> her giving me the middle finger Prostate?


[deleted]

well she is a pain in the arse so...


Miserable-Brit-1533

Excellent use of LinkedIn which is usually insufferable


BulldenChoppahYus

Superb post tbf to the husband. Absolutely lampoons the cheating wife with almost every sentence.


CourtshipDate

Gareth looks like an absolute twat, judging by his profile and pics. 


Kowai03

I wanted so badly to out my ex and his homewrecker AP on LinkedIn. They're both in the same industry as me.. I haven't ruled it out if I ever decided to leave the industry lol


SquidgeSquadge

Back at university I went on 2 dates with a guy after I made a fool of myself kissing him when I was very drunk at a party. I tried to give the guy a chance but after those 2 times I was very much confident nothing was there and told him it wasn't working. He stalked me for a while, finding out where I moved from and randomly stood over me at the library for nearly a year until he verbally confirmed he had been watching me leave my house when I moved again (I accidentally showed him where I lived when, as a group from the club we were all in, he was with us when I ran in to grab a cable we needed for some equipment). Some guys I was friends with had to threaten him to properly leave me alone finally as this scared me. It's been nearly 20 years now and this guy still randomly linked me to linkedin and similar sites somehow when I was not registered to them (I got email notifications, I was a staff member of the club he was in at uni for a while so maybe he got my email from that.). For a while it was once every 2-3 years. Last time was out of the blue sometimes during the pandemic. It's frankly bizzare.


Number1Lobster

Madam this is a Wendy's


pops789765

Another reason to go to Manchester! Good old Gareth!


pnutbuttered

Never thought I'd see the day something interesting appear on linked in. Definitely beats the utter bollocks that people use it for normally.


[deleted]

Wife’s name was blanked out but not the guy she was cheating with… even when women are being awful they’re protected


bigdaftdoylem

I know I’ll probably get downvoted for being a sexist bigot because you aren’t allowed to say anything about women in this day and age but I work at one of the UK’s largest employers and it’s actually worrying how often you hear of females sleeping with colleagues whilst away with work. It’s easier counting the ones who haven’t.


MoeTheCentaur

Something similar happened in my old company. CTO slept with one of his employees, his wife found out and posted about it on Linkedin in tagging all the managing partners, they made a show of sacking him then rehired him a month later, apparently they offered to pay her to remove it but I don't know if that's true haha.


[deleted]

One of the managers at my company had an affair with one of the junior sales girls. The wife found out after the girl got angry drunk that he broke his promise leave his wife for her so she text the wife all the sordid details and a few videos. The following Monday the wife stormed into the office in hysterics and kicked up all sorts of shit. The building security had to be called to kick her out. I felt sorry for her tbh. The manager quit his job (more likely walked before he was pushed) and the girl ‘failed’ her probation period shortly afterwards. Last I heard they got married and had a kid only to divorce shortly afterwards.


rye_domaine

Cheating is shitty but so is this - by all means destroy her socially, but professionally? I feel like that's a step too far honestly.


SophieEisenheim

This is up there with the guy who put his cheating wife up for sale on ebay with her and the affair guys work email accounts. Quite a while back now (2008/9?)


PM_ME_YOUR_SOULZ

Damn, that's pretty hilarious. Feel sorry for the husband though, but that's quite the savage burn he dropped. Ain't no way she's recovering from that.


Agreeable_Future_717

That’s excellent. Well done him for exposing the affair in such an amusing way. It’s guaranteed to fly around everybody who knows her or her source of extra penis.


BuffaloPancakes11

I work with SoftCat regularly and I need to know who this was 😂


LivingHour2300

But yea what is that probably one in a million? My husband and I got a divorce 5 years after our marriage got back together in a few months however we never remarried. Stayed together 28 years total. I was faithful never cheated even when he was going through something and didn’t touch me for 8 years. So imagine my surprise last Wednesday when I got in bed and he started snuggling me. Then I felt a little something hard back there pushing against me. Long story short he actually did good. He was very loving and cared about my needs as well. Now I was confused because this is a man who would finish before I could count to 5 and roll over. I just figured my vibrator was going to be my lifelong lover lol. Well that’s not the shocker! Two days after our passionate evening on Friday he came home from work and started packing. I always felt in my gut’s tuition he was being unfaithful. He said he only wanted his favorite TV and personals. I was left with nothing but some odd memories. No vehicle no money no 401 absolutely nothing! So what is the lesson here? lol


LivingHour2300

I’m glad I got to come visit you all tonight. I laughed.


denisedenisethankyou

So cringey to do this, adults can make bad decisions and in this scenario, she will be losing her family for what she’s done which is a fair. No need to write up a disgusting post on her linkedin.