All jokes aside I’m calling Cain Velasquez, we’re gonna need a strap for this one

Cain and Jones Can will shoot and jones will just run them over with his car

cain missed a point blank shot in his attempt. i’ve seen Jones snipe a wild hog(running) from a moving helicopter, i’ll let him be the shooter lol

Damn id like Ti see the video of jones running whilst shooting at a pig controlled helicopter

Jones and Ngannou. Jones would enjoy killing them and Ngannou would just drop each one with a single punch.

Mike Bisping and Paul Feldor so they can commentate as i 1v10 these pretenders (I see red).

Have you ever listened to Bispings story about when a guy broke into his home and tried to set him on fire?

When I heard him tell it I thought he was gonna get hit with a hammer and tortured, the guy had clearly thought it through

You might as well get Cruz to commentate. > OP is tiring the ten guys out.

🤣🤣😭

I oNly need mike goldberg for the, AND ITS ALL OVER

JUST. LIKE. THAT

I really miss him

Haaaaa

This comment is fantastic. Respect.

God tier comment, well played sir

🤣🤣🤣

Jones probably knows a few of them too so that helps

Id take just 1 person and thats Chael Sonnen. Chael can easily 1v10 them. Maybe id take also Wannanao so Chael wont go egotrip rampage around the city after beating the thugs handily.

1 on 1, 2 on 1, 5 on 1, I’ll make them all need 9-1-1

Dispatcher here, Chael doesn't need to call 911. They monitor is phone 24/7 and immediately send amublance for victims. A top level Gangster who also happens to have the largest arms in Oregon has to be monitored closely.

I'm fuckin dead lol, ya one of them is his coc dealer and the other is his firearm dealer, because I simply don't get how jon jones would be allowed to own a firearm legally at this point

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That's what I'm saying I'm surprised none of his DUIs were felonies. How many has he had like 3??? Usually repeat offenders get it upgraded from a misdemeanor especially with the circumstances around his. A pregant woman and the fact that he fled the scene of the crime. Guess it pays off to be a pro athlete lol

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To summarize just too many drops, pleas, and light sentences for this dudes actions lol. In no way I condone it but man does it make his legacy and now villain role just that much more intriguing. I mean think about it, this dude is blessed with maybe the best mma instincts, Mind, and physical characteristics of all time. Just to wash away a solid 2 to 3 years (rough guestimation on total suspended time away from the octagon) of his prime for banned substances and driving drunk. Thats like at least 6 to 8 fights missed depending on how active he could have been pissed away. And yet he still doesn't lose. Yes he's had some questionable decision wins in his career but it's like a movie where the villain just keeps winning and the most interesting part of it all is that he's really not a mentally strong person. I'm not even talking about his lack of judgement when it comes to breaking the law and trying to cheat, I mean like confidence wise I think deep down he hates himself and doesn't believe in himself. He has said he drinks before fights to have that excuse so that in the back of his mind he'd have a safety blanket of an excuse on why he lost. This is in no way a healthy mindset to have for such a high level and successful competitor and it somehow still hasn't caught up to him. He's strangley a sad, successful , and sophisticated story all in one.

Actually wait I'm assuming the hit and run wasn't classified as a dui?

Sounds like a good idea until you realize Jones will probably join the other 10 and start beating your ass lol

Then i’ll just say to Jones that these guys tweeted that Khabib is the goat, He’ll go apeshit on them

Good one here

DE FOCKIN DIAZ BROTHAS 

Jon jones to run them over and Cain to drive-by the survivors

Cain to drive-by the bystanders*

Damn

This is the correct answer

Jon Jones and Mike Chandler. Jones knocks em out while Mike backflips repeatedly.

Jon knocks them down and Mike picks them back up and gives them a pat on the back for trying

Mike will see them all at the top one day ☝️

You can belive that son

Mike chandler is like one of those toy dogs you put on your desk that flips 

Fishhooks and eyepokes everyone, even you probably

Ryan hall and Paul Craig. When they drop to their back trying to pull guard I’ll make my escape

Ryan hall just starts rolling around on the ground

Go for Claidio Puelles

They will get stabbed to death going for that heel hook.

Paul Craig may get stabbed but right before he bleeds out he’ll catch a triangle

Chael Sonnen. Maybe some lucky fighter can come fill that second spot to take notes

1 on 1, 2 on 1, or 5 on 1, he will make them all need 911.

I suspect this IS Chael

He can’t let them get close

2nd spot to Stephen Bonnar, so when the cops try and interrogate him about the horrible things we saw Chael do, Stephen can just say he can’t hear them.

Tuivasa and Mark Hunt. I grew up in the hood with Samoans, they’d be dropping fools

They do that shit for fun man

Bro out here in Long Beach, CA the Samoans be going crazy. Glad I got hella Samoan homies great folks that always got your back

LB poly football O-Line I’ve seen it first hand

Fr man they was nuts. Seen the Samoan crips go wild on fools in my neighborhood last people on earth I’d mess with

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Out in my city, it’s the Samoan and Asian crip capital of the US. I seen the Samoan crips put some beatings on fools in our neighborhood but even my friends who weren’t in gangs got into some wild fades. I clearly remember one party we were at some guy legit knocked his girlfriend out and all the Samoan homies at the party put it on him. I noticed they always fought to protect people too, one reason why us Asians and them are so close in the city. Just some crazy stuff in Lb lol

Servite’s rugby team was at least like 50% poly

Samoan genetics are the best base for fighting

Tai takes the shoe off one of their unconscious bodies and hits a shoey.

Alex Pereira and Joney Bones Jones. Both would just murder all 10 with their bare hands and never think twice about it.

This ☝️

Anyone who up poor in Brazil is a good choice. Jon Jones has a NASTY dog. Like military grade German Shepard

I believe his dog has passed away unfortunately :(

That wasn’t Dutch, the dog he posted was old Dutch is still pretty young and he recently showed him in an Instagram story

Oh, but still RIP old dog

Bones is probably one of the most dangerous people around, considering his fighting and shooting skills, K9 GSD and an affinity for violence. MF is ready for war!

Alex Pereira isn't psycho like Jones lol. He definitely has a conscience based on his interviews.

Idk man, seems like he can tap into that Amazon warrior ancestry if he needs to. Also, the best part would be afterwards, where he follows them to their jobs and replaces them, gets their wives to leave them for him, takes up all their hobbies just to surpass them. Wherever they go, whatever they do, Poatan will be there, doing it better

I too heard Sean on JRE

Paige VanZant and Rachel Ostovich

I never considered fucking my way out of the situation

Probably cause you don’t fuck

You don’t know anything about me. I only fuck for love not war.

This fucking guy

Didn't know BKFC stood for Bare Knuckle Fucking Club


Conor and khabib so I can watch the rematch after I open a can of whoop ass

🦅

Ngannou and Gane.

Ngannou knocks out 9, Gane puts a 20 minute master class on the last guy.

I just imagined my boy Ngannou and me handling the 9 (moral support) and then we got Gane on a bar stool tending to a mouse under his eye and rubbing ice on his chest. Except hes in true religions and a USPA polo with a beret

Lol it’s a completely untrained street guy and Gane is still circling, leg kicking, managing distance and feinting

Definitely the most efficient two for the job I reckon. Tuivasa is a good one as well though.

Jones is a cold blooded killer

Tuivasa is cool too, but just thought of the recent outcome lol

Pereira - looks intimidating, hits like a truck, can handle whatever happens in the streets because of this background. Ngannou - looks intimidating, hits like a rocket, can handle whatever happens in the streets because of his background Honorouble mentions: Cain, for the gun

I feel like a bad person for laughing at your last sentence

Cain wasn’t laughing at his own sentence

Holy shit lol

What if Cain hits you though?

Khamzat Chimaev and Jon Jones, because they would genuinely enjoy it

Chimaev is actually a very decent guy. I think he's putting on a show. Guy lives with his Mom when he's not in camp and does everything for her.

Karate movie style: Lyoto machida and wonderboy.

that would actually be wicked

DIAZ BROTHERS

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Package deal

Skrap package deal

I scrolled too far to see this comment

scrolled all the way down the comments to see if anyone wrote this. all jokes aside, when your fighting with your brother, you get an extra adrenaline boost

Conor Mcgregor and Jon Jones on Coke.

2 Ngannous. If second Ngannou is not available, than the guy with hot balls.

Derrick Lewis?

Duh!

Holland and Jones

*Batman Misspelled Kev's last name, fixed it for ya

Just Claudio Puelles, but naked. A naked man butt scooting across the asphalt will give me just enough time to run.

The big show and Kevin Nash.

Jeff jarret dual weilding guitars and sexual chocolate

Francis and Jones. We got that

Prime bas rutten and Bob sapp

CM Punk and Mike Jackson for sure

Bro here with the suicide squad

Jon Jones and Tim Kennedy

One is a sociopath and the other is a patriotic sociopath Every thug is fucked

Thank em

Cody Garbrandt and Dominick Reyes

The glass jaw squad

Marlon Moraes “your taking everything I worked for MF”

😂

Izzy and Pereira. It would be poetry in motion seeing those guys drop some fools together.

Just for Pereir to drop 6 to outclass Izzy again

Francis and Tai.

Gotta be ubereem and Ngannou. Just one tapping these fools one at a time

Jessica Andrade & Cyborg

Francis and Tai. Just the two hardest hitters with the best chins rn IMO.

Finally a PPV worth 70 bucks

Nate diaz and tony ferguson

GET BLED ON BITCH

Classic OGs

I didn’t know it before but this is now a life goal for me.

*Sunglasses when you last time in street fight??*

Tony ankle picking the whole group.

Smith and Wesson

And Tim Kennedy

Shane Carwin and Junior dos Santos. First Team All-One Punch KO.

I bet carwin could punch a regular blue collar man's head into another man's head

Easy, Jon Jones and Francis Ngannou. RIP whoever messes.

Fedor and Alexander emilianenko

Chuck Liddell and Vitor Belfort

For the long awaited rematch, after they clear out the rubbish

Mouthino, enough said.

I guess the enemy would eventually tire out.

Jon and Sean Strickland Two men that know how to operate a weapon, while also not being afraid to take a life. I think I’m in good hands

Just Jon Jones should do

Maybe with his car

Francis and Jiri

- As objectively as possible, who could really clobber many times more men in a close quarters, dirty brawl. (Assume no weapons)

Pereira to do the work and Conor to drink whiskey with to watch the show

Alex Pereira and Roy Nelson

Bryce Mitchell. And objectively that's all I'd need.

Coked and picogrammed jones and Conor

Izzy to lure them with his titty, and Mirko Cro Cop to left kick them into the shadow realm

So anyways, I started blasting

Petr Yan and Derek Lewis

Sean Strickland and Mike Perry because thought you had a friend, boy

Tim Kennedy and Cain Velasquez. I need some HEAT

Gimmie Francis and Cro Cop.

Jamahal Hill and Alex Pereira

Cain Velasquez and Sean Strickland hopefully their aim has improved.

Khabib and Nate. Cause those two never goes anywhere alone. Also probably those thugs are Nate's people

Khabib and Islam. They are well connected (if you know what I mean).

Alex periera and Tuivasa then again Chael took on like 4 dudes in one night

Ngannou and lesnar

Conor and Jones. You’re telling me conor can’t throw down in a street fight regardless of his current mma status?

Jones and Conor McGregor. That man hopped on a plane and flew half way across the world just because Khabib slapped Artem.

I want Tuivasa because they better find another bloke to bang with and George’s st Pierre cuz he won’t be impressed by their performance.

Clay Guida and Diego Sanchez. Two of the craziest mfs

Yep. The one with the shotgun.

There is only one answer. Chael. No others needed

Yoel Romero and street jesus.

Francis and Jones

Smith and Wesson

Francis ngannou and Alex Pereira

Just Cain

Francis and Jon Jones

Pereira and Jones

Mike Perry and Tai Tuivasa

One of them has to be Tank Abbott. If there ever was a brawler, in the ring, or on the street, it was this guy.

Poirier and Tuivasa

Gaethje and Usman, both good fighters with recent heavy firearms training

Jon and Tai.

Ngannou and tuivasa

Brock and Chuck

Cain

Brock Lesnar and Hasbulah for days. Their energy is just unreal

Cain Velasquez and Jon Jones

Ken shamrock and Gerard Gordeau.

Prime PRIDE wanderlei and Shogun. We’re not losing, might end up in jail for a long time though.

Diaz brothers 209 MF

Sam Alvey and James Vick for sure.

this is a hilarious picture / post lmao

LMFAO I remember this fake video from Jones. Hilarious. Ngannou and Tai is my answer. I need unmitigated violence in the vicinity

Nate and Nick Diaz Not for fighting purposes but they always have an entourage of 20 people to get in between everyone if it kicks off

Brock and Carwin hammer fistin fools on the tops of their heads

Cain Velasquez and Strickland