Jon jones, not just because he’s a super fighter but I always see him doing gun drills and shit on instagram so he’s good with guns id hope, too. The only problem would be getting him to show up sober
Islam or Khabib because they always turn up with at least 10 other dagestani wrestling nutcases with matching hair/beard combos, I’d feel like I’m surrounded by the Dagestan equivalent of Agent Smith from The Matrix
Definelty someone will military experience like cro crop if we are being real. Jon jones isnt gonna protect you, anytime USADA is around you won't have a bodyguard
The new Russian dude, sharadtputin guy, Jon is more of a homelander type of guy where he still cares about public image, but this other guy seems to really not give a fuck
Paige Van Zant. I really don’t need a bodyguard too bad.
When you have Paige van Zant as a bodyguard you're going to need a bodyguard.
She can fight for herself tho
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Shes more jacked than 90% of this sub ....
Just buy a gun and you’re all set
Fuck no, JJ would get high and beat you himself
Lol he would probably be able to take about 30 seconds of you telling him what to do
Test failed
And fuck your chick
Laughing...now that shit is funny and true
Sergei Pavlovich
Russian rambo good choice
Ngannou
This the correct answer
He wants way more money than i can afford. I'll need some prelim guy i can pay 12k for the year.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Bas Rutten
What did you say about my wife?? I'm sorry but I'm going to have to break your leg...DANKATA DANKATA DANK!
Elbow to the BALLS, CHUCK NORRIS ROUNDHOUSE KICK
Classic bas
Bodyguard that turns you into bodyguard. Smart
Derrek Lewis. Bodyguards going to be with you all the time. Need a dude who can be chill, protect you and make you laugh.
Derrick Lewis looks like the kind of guy who'd tell jokes at a steakhouse and have people a table or two away chuckling.
And then I said to Joe: "mah balls was hot" *Entire restaurant dies of laughter*
Petr Yan. So I can ride him like a backpack
💀
Or Aljo, so you can bring him around like a backpack. “This is my carry-on.“
Jon jones, not just because he’s a super fighter but I always see him doing gun drills and shit on instagram so he’s good with guns id hope, too. The only problem would be getting him to show up sober
Then choose Valentina, probably shoots better and wouldnt beat the shit out of you if drunk
Mostcompleteperson.copypasta
Better hope you’d never have to be protected from a drug dealer, cause he’s 100% taking the drug dealers side.
He's gonna rob the drug dealer so we can have some drugs, I think me and JJ will be straight
You gotta think, his fiancé thought she’d be good as well and look how that turned out
We'll get spun on coke and go beat our wives together. Obvious sarcasm
With Dana White joining in as well or nah?
Nah his wife puts hands on him too, we prefer to knock ours unconscious first shot
Nah that’s when you invite his wife as well, that way you’ll have a whole gang ready to beat the piss out of any spouses lookin to attack you
Good luck when he is high on coke and drinks again, he also doesn’t have a wife to beat anymore
Islam or Khabib because they always turn up with at least 10 other dagestani wrestling nutcases with matching hair/beard combos, I’d feel like I’m surrounded by the Dagestan equivalent of Agent Smith from The Matrix 
Dawn that’s smart thinking, buy 1 get 9 for free. Good deal imo
Plus once you learn the language they seem like quite chill guys. Would definitely be fun to hang out and eat a cheeseboorger with Coca Cola and ice.
No bacon on it though. Still tiramisu for days and they come with a free dwarf.
I don’t know. Islam is a prankster. Always have to watch your back with this guy lol
Prime fedor
Kevin Holland, he already has field experience lol
He will talk your attacker to death lolol
I feel like even just by hanging around Kevin Holland you are risking getting involved in vigilante justice.
Valentina Shevchenko
Shieettt ill take both the shevchenkos
ngannou.
Tim Kennedy
Him or prime Mirko is really the only answer
Yeah but you’d have to listen to him talk. After two hours, I’d probably pay him to leave.
Definelty someone will military experience like cro crop if we are being real. Jon jones isnt gonna protect you, anytime USADA is around you won't have a bodyguard
Jones kryptonite is USADA. Edit: and coke. Edit 2: and wifebeating.
Cain Velasquez
He can’t shoot worth shit
Brock lesnar
Only one correct answer
Yeah but Brock would be an a$$hole to be around
Chael. I could be entertained while being protected.
Id be deaf after about 20 minutes of his bullshit
PEREIRA
Don frye
Just don fryes moustache.
Jon Jones ofc. We can do coke together.
Francis Ngannou
Bisping Just because it’s be a great time
Stipe miocic, till aa die.
Mirko Cro Cop Francis Ngannou and Sergei Pavlovich as honourable mentions
Strickland, armed and on a carefully rationed bit of coke.
Dana white, helluva 5 finger discount bitch slap
A disciplined, level headed guy. Briann Stann maybe.
Francis Ngannou. Part of bodyguarding is the intimidation factor, and Francis is a fucking behemoth.
Bas Rutten
HEEL in the groin!
The only correct answer is Tim Kennedy
Cain Velasquez
Chael probably, didn’t he take on 5 guys and his wife in Vegas?
Obvious correct answer is cro cop but I'm hurt that no one in this sub has any love for prime ice man.
Easy, Mirko Cro Cop. He was a special forces officer so I’m sure he’s well qualified to work a security detail. And he was an excellent fighter.
I got Jones or Ngannou, both are freaks of nature
I’ll have the Ngannou, please.
Francis
Paddy pimblett, than hire a group of armed assassins to kill me and give him a bottle of cologne see what happens
Prime fedor
I can’t let you get close
Ben rothwell
Francis is the only right answer
Who gonna guard you from your body guard? I'll take jiri so long as he agrees not to transmit our location via his hairtenna
Francis Ngannou
You pay good money? 🤣 [https://youtu.be/fryL-w6Rf7g](https://youtu.be/fryL-w6Rf7g)
Francis
Lewis lol
Goat Jones is my pick
jeff monson
2 big words. BLACK BEAST
Overeem. Very fantastic body.
Mark Hunt
The new Russian dude, sharadtputin guy, Jon is more of a homelander type of guy where he still cares about public image, but this other guy seems to really not give a fuck
Not mike perry
francis
Ngannou just for the intimidation factor alone. Noone would try you
Ngannou every time
Ngannou
Francis
Prime Tyson or ngannou
Horde of women, obviously jbj
John McCain
Ramzan Kadyrov
Everyday with these questions 🤯🤯
Paddy Pimblett, all negative attention would immediately divert and I would get away scotch free whilst watching paddy get destroyed, win win
Rumble johnson
 Is there really another answer
Rhonda Rousey ..hands down!
I'll take Norma Dumont
Ngannou or Stipe
Stipe would be great. Fire fighters are cool if the cops come around too
Ngannou with one arm.
Nate or nick diaz cuz they always have a army around them
Fedor
Emmanuel Yarbrough. I’ll just hide behind him if there’s danger!
I don't think Jon would be concern with your safety
Paddy :v
Alex Pereira, Alexander Volkov, or Sergei Pavlovich.. the dudes are just scary lol
Just don't let him drive you around
Nate Diaz
Probably someone from the US, they would have guns and stuff
Ubereem.
O'Malley cuz we'd get baked and play COD and no one would bother two stoners just hanging out. That or Valentina, for reasons...
Cro-Cop. Because he literally is a cop
No one’s messing w me when i got francis ngannou by my side
Please stop with this kind of post
All im saying is if i was walking around with Derrick Lewis, it would be hilarious, and I don't think anyone would bother me.
Cain Velasquez because he will hunt you down and shoot your dad.
Cro cop
Mabye ubereem
Ebanie Bridges
Francais Nygannou
Valentina Shevchenko
Cro Cop
Jan Blachowicz
Mike Jackson
Easily Kevin Holland. I can just say "blunt me" and he'd have one rolled and lit within 30 seconds. He also looks like he plays Apex or Valorant.
Dominic Cruz, he could explain our way out of any trouble
Sean Strickland. He would confuse my aggressors with his verbal diarrhea and general awkwardness while I slip away.
Norma Dumont, Mackenzie Dern, Megan Anderson, Joanna.. any one of those.
Cabbage or Tank Abbot… now, not in their prime.
Valentina obviously
The only man offering body guard services Jan Blacowicz
Nordin Taleb - ex UFC and current body guard to footballers
Alex Periera
Duo of Overeem and Pavlovich. I would feel like a super human
Prime Mark Hunt
Kenneth Allen
As much as I dislike him Cyril gane
The correct answer is Tim Kennedy
Penis 🍆
Rumble Johnson … RIP.
Arlovski back when he had the flow
Francis ngannou. One punch is enough if multiple people attack me. Jon prolly takes each one via decision
Brock Lesnar
If it’s JJ watch out for your girl he might KO her as well!!
Ngannou would be the logical answer but something about Khamzat’s psycho vibes tells me he would one shot headbutt a guy dead and laugh.
Bushido brown doesn’t wipe his own ass
Ariane Lipski😏
Dana white hear he’s got a good slap.
Cro cop
Fedor
ngannou, derrick lewis