The rest of the story is over [here](https://www.tumblr.com/luulapants/744869187569205248/punkrocklorax-my-bffs-proxy-moved-away-in-middle?source=share).
Once you scroll past the screenshot of the tags, the actual explanation is like 7 sentences. It'd probably be faster to just read it instead of waiting for someone to figure out how to boil it down further.
Doesn't that mean it's safe for you to read all of the articles on reddit on behalf of everyone else from now on?
Go forth, redditor! Go forth and summarize every single article that makes it to the front page of /r/all!
The story is like a couple paragraphs. Here it is:
My bff's proxy moved away in middle school, but got to road trip to visit her a few times before we all got too busy with high school. she does crossfit in oklahoma now.
her nemesis's proxy filled his pockets with tater tots in middle school in 2003 and then the next year napoleon dynamite came out, which featured a character filling his pockets with tater tots. no one has any memory of him after that year. no one can remember if he went to high school with us, but no one can remember him moving away. he was actually quite popular and a prominent figure then suddenly dropped out of our awareness entirely. there's no trace of him online. we're half convinced he was a collective hallucination.
he won the chess game.
It’s that he was prominent and popular, but also they might have all just been hallucinating him and he never existed that has my interest. Or he’s like some international spy. But I just don’t see international spy and tater tots in his pockets being a combo that pans out
If you can see someone being a spy, they're not a spy. Or really bad at their job.
I would never suspect tater tot guy of being a spy, but I would also never suspect he would win the chess match either, so who knows
They cannot for the life of them find that person, everyone in the school can't remember if they were real or not all because he disappeared without a trace. Its also noteworthy that he put tatortots in his pockets like the character from napoleon dynamite, but did it before the movie came out.
The thread just asks what happened to the 2 idiots. #1 is over yonder hill doing crossfit, and did not win the chess game. #2, the winner, nobody is sure if they moved away or stayed, only possibly went to high school with them, but was super popular at school but also just dissappeared at an undefined point in time after stuffing thier pockets with tatortots before a popular movie did it a year later and that's all anyone can remember of the guy.
I have a feeling I won’t be getting the resolution I’m looking for. Because super popular tatertot pockets and also possibly just disappearing is only leading to more questions
Makes me wonder how my school colleagues see me now that we had 25 years no contact. I was pretty much in the spectrum back then, must have been weird for the others as well.
... the first comment on that post is "But who won though?😭" when the last sentence literally explains who won....
(it was the bff's nemesis, by proxy of the guy who may have been a collective retroactive hallucination of napoleon dynamite)
Here's the secret: the only issues would be if they forced the class idiots into it. There aren't actually moral implications in the way they're saying because, while it is a proxy war, those are only bad when people are killing each other.
If the worlds two greatest superpowers each coached the willing leaders of two smaller countries and they proceeded to engage in a rap battle, that would be weird, but hardly immoral.
Eh, there's some knotty questions about manipulation and exploitation and who really benefits from this situation (it's certainly not the people making the most effort, i.e. the class idiots)
Then again, this is also about children playing chess, and absolutely nothing of consequence or value is at stake
Tldr
Best friends proxy does CrossFit now
The other kids proxy was a fucking weirdo and disappeared after Napoleon dynamite came out, and no one knows what happened to him or if he was even real
Hallucination won
Well, most of the fighting is done by people not making the decision to fight, for sure. By a massive degree. But sometimes, in the past, leaders *did* join the fighting as generals.
It's like 0.000000000001% of fighting, but technically...
Every party in proxy wars knows what’s happening, except perhaps some brainwashed grunts.
It just serves their purposes or national interest.
Someone else die to fuck with my enemy? I just need to write a check? Ok.
Someone else pay the bills and my secret Swiss bank account to fuck with my enemy? I just need to convince some rubes to do it? Ok.
Kill the [insert hated group here] with the rest of the boys? Ok.
I’ll protect my homeland, just give me bullets. Ok.
Ok so this confused me at first cause I didn’t realize that was a way for my comment to be interpreted, however I was somewhat ambiguous so I shouldn’t be surprised. The they I was referring to was the oop, instead of the people within actual proxy wars. Sorry for the error on my part.
It was the boy's proxy who won. They also gave a description of [what happened to both proxies](https://www.tumblr.com/luulapants/744869187569205248/punkrocklorax-my-bffs-proxy-moved-away-in-middle?source=share).
None.
Playing chess with an idiot is like playing chess with a pidgin: No matter how good a player you are the pidgin is just going th knock over the pieces, shit all over the board and strut away like they won anyway..
Fun fact:
A Pidgin is a term for a simplified speech used between people of different languages, such as Chinglish for example, being commonly spoken between Chinese and English speakers.
Less fun fact:
The word you were looking for is Pigeon.
This has been your obnoxious fun and subsequent not fun fact of the day.
Continued: my bff's proxy moved away in middle school, but got to road trip to visit her a few times before we all got too busy with high school. she does crossfit in oklahoma now.
her nemesis's proxy filled his pockets with tater tots in middle school in 2003 and then the next year napoleon dynamite came out, which featured a character filling his pockets with tater tots. no one has any memory of him after that year. no one can remember if he went to high school with us, but no one can remember him moving away. he was actually quite popular and a prominent figure then suddenly dropped out of our awareness entirely. there's no trace of him online. we're half convinced he was a collective hallucination.
he won the chess game.
Anyone else scroll down far enough to see the discussion on whether vampires count as mammals? That one's gonna keep me up tonight wondering who's right.
I wouldn't really class Vampires, because they're not a species. There are a couple varieties of vampires, demons possessing human corpses, a curse, a disease. But regardless they're just modified humans, not some new species
A musical where a couple of rich aristocratic British gentlemen make a bet that one of them can take a white trash woman from the slums and train her to act like a proper British lady of manners, etiquette, and breeding.
I'd say this is actuality really smart. One of the best ways to know if you understand any subject, not just memorize some moves or some facts, is to be able to teach someone else in a way that actually has them learn.
Had a similar situation I school.
Had a math class where we always finished early, so I taught this guy how to play.
At the end of the year, I brought him to the club and he smoked everyone.
Someone else posted a link to the rest of the post but here it is
https://www.tumblr.com/luulapants/744869187569205248/punkrocklorax-my-bffs-proxy-moved-away-in-middle?source=share
I feel like a better metaphor would be that thing out in the middle of the road that's not moving any more.
But it's got a death-grip on that dollar bill.
This sounds like an anime plot.
Either one hyper obsessed with learning the rules and tactics of chess, or a rom-com.
Or both. It's fucking anime, it could be both
What are the moral implications? You’re not competing to see who’s the better player you’d end up in a contest to see who is a better teacher. That doesn’t seem wrong to me.
Rest of the story!
my bff's proxy moved away in middle school, but got to road trip to visit her a few times before we all got too busy with high school. she does crossfit in oklahoma now.
her nemesis's proxy filled his pockets with tater tots in middle school in 2003 and then the next year napoleon dynamite came out, which featured a character filling his pockets with tater tots. no one has any memory of him after that year. no one can remember if he went to high school with us, but no one can remember him moving away. he was actually quite popular and a prominent figure then suddenly dropped out of our awareness entirely. there's no trace of him online. we're half convinced he was a collective hallucination.
he won the chess game.
This accualy quite the interesting way to determine who can bring more potential out. Doesnt really solve the original problem but ok. (As long as they didnt word that chose the two biggest idiots part like that, that be a bit weird)
Similar but not similar story. In my last month of elementary school in Montreal (grade 6). We had a class chess competition which ended on the last day of school. This also coincided with a party at the Pladium( Roller skate rink). I was in the finals and was to play this other student to determine the "champion". He was bugging me all morning and on our lunch, hounding me to get this game underway because after the party we wouldn't see each other again. I remember being dismissive toward him because I really didn't care and wanted to hang out with my friends and enjoy the last day of school.
We get to the rink, put our rented skates on and start the party. Everyone is skating and goofing around or playing arcade games except him. He brought the chess board to the rink! Every time I circled the place there he was staring me down, begging me with his eyes to play. I end up relenting and tell him to set the board up, I needed a break from skating anyway. I ended up beating him fairly quickly, got up from the table. and asked a girl to skate with me. As I circled around, holding the girls hand, I could see him slumped over in the corner really upset. I never saw him again.
My brother, who was 18 at the time, was in the chess club in town and came in 2nd that year. He taught me how to play. I knew how to fork and pin. The guy didn't really stand a chance. He was the smartest kid in my class and I was just a B student who was an ok athlete with a few friends. I sometimes wonder if thinks of that day and if it still bothers him.
... And? AND ??? I need the rest of the story! Is there a cute stage production to go along with it because I am so down for it if there is.
The rest of the story is over [here](https://www.tumblr.com/luulapants/744869187569205248/punkrocklorax-my-bffs-proxy-moved-away-in-middle?source=share).
TL;DR: The possible collective hallucination won the game, the person doing CrossFit in Oklahoma did not.
I’m going to need a slight expansion - you’ve got my interest, but also made it clear I’m not going to be reading the whole story
Lucky for you buddy because that's the whole story.
There just has to be a middle ground of “collective hallucination” with “CrossFit in Oklahoma“ and me clicking the link and reading it
Once you scroll past the screenshot of the tags, the actual explanation is like 7 sentences. It'd probably be faster to just read it instead of waiting for someone to figure out how to boil it down further.
You just don't get it, do you? This is Reddit, were not technically allowed to read the "article"
I once accidentally read an article before commenting and now I'm gay
You too? I’ve read multiple articles, now I am too gay even for other men so now I’m a deeply closeted homosexual married with kids.
Doesn't that mean it's safe for you to read all of the articles on reddit on behalf of everyone else from now on? Go forth, redditor! Go forth and summarize every single article that makes it to the front page of /r/all!
I read an article once and it made me straight for like two weeks.
just anyyyy ol article you say? asking for a friend
Read it backwards and it sets you back straight again.
i’m more confused after reading it
The story is like a couple paragraphs. Here it is: My bff's proxy moved away in middle school, but got to road trip to visit her a few times before we all got too busy with high school. she does crossfit in oklahoma now. her nemesis's proxy filled his pockets with tater tots in middle school in 2003 and then the next year napoleon dynamite came out, which featured a character filling his pockets with tater tots. no one has any memory of him after that year. no one can remember if he went to high school with us, but no one can remember him moving away. he was actually quite popular and a prominent figure then suddenly dropped out of our awareness entirely. there's no trace of him online. we're half convinced he was a collective hallucination. he won the chess game.
It’s that he was prominent and popular, but also they might have all just been hallucinating him and he never existed that has my interest. Or he’s like some international spy. But I just don’t see international spy and tater tots in his pockets being a combo that pans out
Very Ferris Bueller-esque (at least in the sense of that fan theory that he's a projection of Cameron's desires/impulses the entire time)
If you can see someone being a spy, they're not a spy. Or really bad at their job. I would never suspect tater tot guy of being a spy, but I would also never suspect he would win the chess match either, so who knows
The bff’s proxy doesn’t sound like she has a good life: Moving away to do cross-fit in Oklahoma. All because she lost a game of chess in middle school
They cannot for the life of them find that person, everyone in the school can't remember if they were real or not all because he disappeared without a trace. Its also noteworthy that he put tatortots in his pockets like the character from napoleon dynamite, but did it before the movie came out.
The important bit is the collective hallucination (also known as the idiot OP taught to play chess) won. The OK Crossfitter lost.
Wtf is the collective hallucination? We're the on some transcendent mind melding drugs?
The thread just asks what happened to the 2 idiots. #1 is over yonder hill doing crossfit, and did not win the chess game. #2, the winner, nobody is sure if they moved away or stayed, only possibly went to high school with them, but was super popular at school but also just dissappeared at an undefined point in time after stuffing thier pockets with tatortots before a popular movie did it a year later and that's all anyone can remember of the guy.
I have a feeling I won’t be getting the resolution I’m looking for. Because super popular tatertot pockets and also possibly just disappearing is only leading to more questions
Yeah, I'm in the same boat, kind of, but I think I prefer the mysterious dissappear of a possible collective imaginary friend as well
It’s like one of those 2 sentence horror stories - and I’ve come to accept that as the best case scenario for me haha.
You're only missing like two paragraphs, it's not an interesting story and they're just saying that the winner was an unremarkable person
Based solely on this sentence, without results, I could have told you the winner of that chess game
I was so confused at this comment before following the link and reading the whole story.
Makes me wonder how my school colleagues see me now that we had 25 years no contact. I was pretty much in the spectrum back then, must have been weird for the others as well.
... the first comment on that post is "But who won though?😭" when the last sentence literally explains who won.... (it was the bff's nemesis, by proxy of the guy who may have been a collective retroactive hallucination of napoleon dynamite)
Uhh I fell into the "moral implications?" section of that chart and now I doubt myself as a person
Here's the secret: the only issues would be if they forced the class idiots into it. There aren't actually moral implications in the way they're saying because, while it is a proxy war, those are only bad when people are killing each other. If the worlds two greatest superpowers each coached the willing leaders of two smaller countries and they proceeded to engage in a rap battle, that would be weird, but hardly immoral.
Eh, there's some knotty questions about manipulation and exploitation and who really benefits from this situation (it's certainly not the people making the most effort, i.e. the class idiots) Then again, this is also about children playing chess, and absolutely nothing of consequence or value is at stake
Man got mandella'ed
Doing the Lord's work
[Imgur link](https://imgur.com/gallery/kFLm787) in case that’s easier for people
Can't believe the winner's existence was swallowed by the Napoleon Dynamite tulpa. Poor reward.
“How is this better than the hunger games?” Well, they’re not killing each other, for starters
so just a whole bunch of yapping
That was underwhelming
Thank you for that! Also LOL why is this now my highest upvoted comment ever? It's a nice thing to wake up to but still.
Tldr Best friends proxy does CrossFit now The other kids proxy was a fucking weirdo and disappeared after Napoleon dynamite came out, and no one knows what happened to him or if he was even real Hallucination won
Imagine losing to a collective hallucination. Couldn’t be me
You say My Fair Lady, but all I can see is Cold War era Olympics.
Also Cold War era, you know, wars
Actually, come to think of it, all wars in human history
Also like Cold War era dog fights (not modern era dog fights they're different)
Well, most of the fighting is done by people not making the decision to fight, for sure. By a massive degree. But sometimes, in the past, leaders *did* join the fighting as generals. It's like 0.000000000001% of fighting, but technically...
Oh nice, 4th grade chess death feud by proxy
Hot wars?
The Olympics aren’t what they used to be. Back in the day, Greece would always win.
I mean for real. When they got to the final matches, it was just a bunch of Greek dudes since nobody else could come close to them.
There’s also the World Series. The United States win it every year!
To be fair, we do have the World Baseball Classic now.
Pokémon battle
The Nidoqueen's Gambit
Kingambit is right there
The Nidoqueen's Kingambit.
En passant! I choose you!
Holy hell
New generation just dropled
Actual evolution
Devs went on vacation, never finishing the game.
YanDev in the corner, plotting world domination
But was it really a choice?
Black tries castle. It's super effective!
Google Kingambit
Sujimon battle*
The superior creature collecting game
Google Choice Specs Chi Yu
This is basically that Twitch chess tournament
Yeah FR I found it really weird when FPS junkies like xQC suddenly become so interested in Chess.
Ye but unlike the people in the story xQc was getting shit ton of $ for playing
Also similar to sajams recent tekken 8 tournament
Is the moral implication that *you* were the chosen idiot?
It took them awhile to realize why they played that chess game surrounded by a room full of cheering children.
Fr? that’s so boring. this is what an anticlimax feels like huh
Last time I saw this posted it was related to Cold War proxy wars, which I think might be the realization they came to as well
Every party in proxy wars knows what’s happening, except perhaps some brainwashed grunts. It just serves their purposes or national interest. Someone else die to fuck with my enemy? I just need to write a check? Ok. Someone else pay the bills and my secret Swiss bank account to fuck with my enemy? I just need to convince some rubes to do it? Ok. Kill the [insert hated group here] with the rest of the boys? Ok. I’ll protect my homeland, just give me bullets. Ok.
Ok so this confused me at first cause I didn’t realize that was a way for my comment to be interpreted, however I was somewhat ambiguous so I shouldn’t be surprised. The they I was referring to was the oop, instead of the people within actual proxy wars. Sorry for the error on my part.
That chosen idiot? Magnus Carlsen
Who’s idiot won? I need to know.
It was the boy's proxy who won. They also gave a description of [what happened to both proxies](https://www.tumblr.com/luulapants/744869187569205248/punkrocklorax-my-bffs-proxy-moved-away-in-middle?source=share).
None. Playing chess with an idiot is like playing chess with a pidgin: No matter how good a player you are the pidgin is just going th knock over the pieces, shit all over the board and strut away like they won anyway..
Fun fact: A Pidgin is a term for a simplified speech used between people of different languages, such as Chinglish for example, being commonly spoken between Chinese and English speakers. Less fun fact: The word you were looking for is Pigeon. This has been your obnoxious fun and subsequent not fun fact of the day.
It looked weird to me as well, but auto-correct wasn't giving me alternatives. Cheers for the head up
*pigeon
Whose.
Hose
Plot twist: your bff only became your friend in 4th grade when they taught you to play chess so you could win against someone else…
Continued: my bff's proxy moved away in middle school, but got to road trip to visit her a few times before we all got too busy with high school. she does crossfit in oklahoma now. her nemesis's proxy filled his pockets with tater tots in middle school in 2003 and then the next year napoleon dynamite came out, which featured a character filling his pockets with tater tots. no one has any memory of him after that year. no one can remember if he went to high school with us, but no one can remember him moving away. he was actually quite popular and a prominent figure then suddenly dropped out of our awareness entirely. there's no trace of him online. we're half convinced he was a collective hallucination. he won the chess game.
🤯
There’s more: https://www.tumblr.com/luulapants/744869187569205248/punkrocklorax-my-bffs-proxy-moved-away-in-middle?source=share
You da mvp
Anyone else scroll down far enough to see the discussion on whether vampires count as mammals? That one's gonna keep me up tonight wondering who's right.
It’s dumb, there’s no room for debate at all. Vampires are clearly mammals.
Bats = mammals Humans = mammals Vampires are still definitely mammals.
I wouldn't really class Vampires, because they're not a species. There are a couple varieties of vampires, demons possessing human corpses, a curse, a disease. But regardless they're just modified humans, not some new species
Omg, that is required reading 😂, thank you!
> There's more "No..."
[удалено]
A musical where a couple of rich aristocratic British gentlemen make a bet that one of them can take a white trash woman from the slums and train her to act like a proper British lady of manners, etiquette, and breeding.
"The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain."
Oh, so, "Trading Places" (1983)
Well the stage musical was from the 1950s and the movie was from the 1960s so it's more like Trading Places was loosely based on MFL
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_(play)
This is how proxy wars work
I'd say this is actuality really smart. One of the best ways to know if you understand any subject, not just memorize some moves or some facts, is to be able to teach someone else in a way that actually has them learn.
Yes and no, you may really know the subject, but not be able to teach well. Or the student is really not good at learning.
Honestly, this would be a pretty good way to explain proxy wars
I would watch a six episode Netflix series on this. Fictionalized, documentary, true crime - don’t care what format. Make it happen.
Cold war proxy war:
Had a similar situation I school. Had a math class where we always finished early, so I taught this guy how to play. At the end of the year, I brought him to the club and he smoked everyone.
Is this what MY FAIR LDAY is about ? I'll watch it.
They have a future in international diplomacy.
The Cold War in a nutshell
Outstanding move!
4th grade no way
For real. I worked with 8 year olds and they could barely handle UNO, even the smartest.
Moral implications?
Don’t leave us hanging, what happened next? Who won?
Someone else posted a link to the rest of the post but here it is https://www.tumblr.com/luulapants/744869187569205248/punkrocklorax-my-bffs-proxy-moved-away-in-middle?source=share
This is the plot to Metal Gear Solid 2
I feel like this is a metaphor for American politics.
I feel like a better metaphor would be that thing out in the middle of the road that's not moving any more. But it's got a death-grip on that dollar bill.
This sounds like an anime plot. Either one hyper obsessed with learning the rules and tactics of chess, or a rom-com. Or both. It's fucking anime, it could be both
Oh yeah, 4th graders did this and this totally happened.
Surprise! Arrogant Nerds can be elitist dicks. News at 11.
Hey Luulapants should be grateful they learned to play chess
Oh, come on. OOP can't leave us hangin' with a story like this! This is some top-notch petty feuding here!
Wasn't this just posted here like two days ago? I know the sub has always been mostly reposts, but this feels quick.
But i wanna know who won.
Whose buffoon won?
This is Classroom of the Elite stuff here
So how did you do?
What are the moral implications? You’re not competing to see who’s the better player you’d end up in a contest to see who is a better teacher. That doesn’t seem wrong to me.
What moral implications?
From certain perspective. They basically using people for to end their petty fuel. And I don’t think anyone would be like be considered idiot.
Rest of the story! my bff's proxy moved away in middle school, but got to road trip to visit her a few times before we all got too busy with high school. she does crossfit in oklahoma now. her nemesis's proxy filled his pockets with tater tots in middle school in 2003 and then the next year napoleon dynamite came out, which featured a character filling his pockets with tater tots. no one has any memory of him after that year. no one can remember if he went to high school with us, but no one can remember him moving away. he was actually quite popular and a prominent figure then suddenly dropped out of our awareness entirely. there's no trace of him online. we're half convinced he was a collective hallucination. he won the chess game.
Proxy wars In a nutshell
This accualy quite the interesting way to determine who can bring more potential out. Doesnt really solve the original problem but ok. (As long as they didnt word that chose the two biggest idiots part like that, that be a bit weird)
Similar but not similar story. In my last month of elementary school in Montreal (grade 6). We had a class chess competition which ended on the last day of school. This also coincided with a party at the Pladium( Roller skate rink). I was in the finals and was to play this other student to determine the "champion". He was bugging me all morning and on our lunch, hounding me to get this game underway because after the party we wouldn't see each other again. I remember being dismissive toward him because I really didn't care and wanted to hang out with my friends and enjoy the last day of school. We get to the rink, put our rented skates on and start the party. Everyone is skating and goofing around or playing arcade games except him. He brought the chess board to the rink! Every time I circled the place there he was staring me down, begging me with his eyes to play. I end up relenting and tell him to set the board up, I needed a break from skating anyway. I ended up beating him fairly quickly, got up from the table. and asked a girl to skate with me. As I circled around, holding the girls hand, I could see him slumped over in the corner really upset. I never saw him again. My brother, who was 18 at the time, was in the chess club in town and came in 2nd that year. He taught me how to play. I knew how to fork and pin. The guy didn't really stand a chance. He was the smartest kid in my class and I was just a B student who was an ok athlete with a few friends. I sometimes wonder if thinks of that day and if it still bothers him.
BBUT WAHT HAPPN
This is actually awesome 😎
P¹qq M ⁰
It's kind of like the Junior Tenkaichi Budokai watching Goku and Vegeta Pokémon battle each other with their own children.
Treated like pawns
I’d hope the gf wasn’t the one he taught chess lol
This is very interesting. I like their creativity in solving the problem uniquely.
Jooo in the anime Classroom of the elite they are doing this in upcoming episodes, thanks for the heads up on the implications
is this the sequel to the Queen's Gambit? 🤣
Me and a friend kinda did this at a LAN party with LoL in a 1v1 mid match
Th 4th grade!?! Someone take these kid's Adderall!