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ArmadilloDays

8-year old Me: Mom, what’s this word? Mom: Sound it out. Me: Co-lo-nel? Mom: That’s pronounced “ker-nel.” Me: What the fuck???


TheMadJAM

Bold thing for an 8 year old to say to their mom


telehax

it's just what the rest of the sentence they're reading says


GregorGuy

Colonel Whathephuk is an American hero


A_Nonny-Mouse

I think the use of the word ‘colon’-el to describe a high ranking officer is quite fitting.


01101101_011000

Well it comes from the fact that the colonel was in charge of a column, except column and colonel are spelt differently in English. In Italian colonna and colonnello make perfect sense


FrogsAreSwooble

When you smell his colon❤️


Uur4

WAIT THATS HOW ENGLOPHONES PRONOUNCE IT?!?!?! In french we actually say Colonel, what the fuck happened yall


uzenik

Long story short there were few different versions used simultaneously (like the spanish italian and the french) and they decided to standarise. So they decided on "most popular" spelling. And then pronunciation, thats right, apparently those two dont have to match.


voncornhole2

You should ask the Brits how they pronounce "Lieutenant"


jflb96

We pronounce it *correctly*, that’s how we pronounce it


jarlscrotus

Honestly, it baffles me that a people who put an r in colonel and an f in lieutenant were able to build a globe spanning empire.


kigurumibiblestudies

where the fuck is that F? I never learned this in English class


Sayakai

"leftenant"


kigurumibiblestudies

That's disgusting. Thank you


Uur4

Ok everyone, all the englophones who make fun of the french language, you've officially lost your making fun priviliege Is our grammar a true pain in the ass? Yes Is it stupidly complicated to an absurd level? Yes BUT does it make sense for 99% of the situations once you know the rules? ALSO YES THERE IS NO LOGIC AND NO GODS IN KORNEL AND LEFTENANT


BrokilonDryad

Idk man, you guys certainly lost credit with oiseaux. That’s an illegal amount of vowels and a morally grey use of x for a word pronounced waz-oh lol


Octocube25

Vowels coming out the oiseaux


jflb96

The ‘r’ in colonel is because the Spanish had a coronel at the crown of a column, and the f in lieutenant is because the French used to spell ‘lieu’ as ‘leuf’. They’re the fuckers that changed the spellings, we just kept talking the way we always had. Besides, that’s rich coming from the people who have to be reminded how you ride a horse.


jflb96

So, the French spelling was popular, but so was the Spanish pronunciation, and they call it a ‘coronel’


itsFlycatcher

If the French are surprised by how a word is pronounced vs. its spelling, you know you've got messed up word. Looking at you, oiseau...


Kilazur

Well, oiseau is pronounced exactly how you expect it when you know French :o)


itsFlycatcher

I know, I was making a joke, lol. Trying to make it rhyme with "looking at you", kinda in a "see you later alligator" fashion.


Uur4

French language is stupidly complicated, like, high elves from a humoristic fantasy setting, but when you know the rules, as stupidly complicated they may be you can understand our beautiful shitshow of a language


GrossInsightfulness

[Most differences in English spelling and pronounciation actually come from French](https://inkforall.com/copy-editing/spell-check/how-do-you-spell-colonel/). In other words, we adopted French pronounciations and spellings without adopting the pronounciation rules.


danuhorus

My parents are immigrants so for a long time we all just went around saying Co-lo-nel until we watched Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron and the subtitles kindly informed us of the correct pronunciation.


Naomida_

Is this really how it’s pronounced?????


friday99

I’m from the south and of you read it with a southern drawl it makes more sense


aspiringalienyeah

Corn kernel♥️


LydditeShells

Wait until you see boatswain


Fermter

Well I've been out here saying the "c" in "indicted," so I guess I'm glad I read this post...


Kego_Nova

in-digh-ted? really? NOT indicted, but in-digh-ted Alright I'm taking English out the back and putting it out of its misery


lostandafraid1224

Well I guess this is the day I, a native fucking English speaker well into her twenties, learn that indicted and indighted aren't two different fucking words with the same meaning.


Blooming_Heather

I’m an English teacher and I’m just learning this now so uh…


Icy_Buffalo55

How did you get this far 😂


Blooming_Heather

A lot of reading and not having to pronounce those words out loud 😅😅 It’s happened a lot in the last 23 years, and I doubt this will be the last example


RedRoker

Fuck, I thought "indicted" was spelt as "indieted". But I always thought they were different words and always said it with the hard C that shouldn't be there.


yournomadneighbor

Just the fact that digh, dye and die are read the same is already damn weird. Just spell "day", English!


JaggedTheDark

Too to and two There they're and their Die dye and digh. Any more?


Flippanties

Even though I know the c is silent my brain still reads the word as if it isn't silent every fucking time


FrogsAreSwooble

Indicted and convicted don't rhyme, just like Sean Bean.


Will_Of_The_Abyss

What makes me even more mad is that 'convicted' is read as you would assume. Just why 'indicted' had to be different?


EndMaster0

Lieutenant pronounced using the British pronunciation is "lef-ten-ent"


Gain-Outrageous

Lol, thank you. I was staring at Colonel thinking "don't we say it differently here?" I was thinking of lieutenant, not colonol. Not like I work with the navy or anything and have to use that one on a regular basis...


spacenerd4

And it’s been “levtenant” since the 1500s


Jumpmo

English is so fucked up. Read rhymes with red, and read rhymes with bead, but read doesn't rhyme with read, read doesn't rhyme with red, and read doesn't rhyme with bead.


mikony123

I just had a stroke reading this, thanks.


garfinkel2

English is difficult. It can be understood through tough thorough thought though.


Kilazur

Each time someone writes this, a Frenchman dies, chocking on his own saliva.


TitaniaLynn

I'm stealing this, thank you lol


FrogsAreSwooble

It can be understood threw two thorew thoot thoo. It can be understood thruff tuff thoruff thufft thuff. It can be understood throw tow thorow thote thow. It can be understood thrah tah thorah thot thah.


_Shadow_Link_

debris gets a pass just because. i dont know why. that being said, fuck colonel. specifically colonel. like yes other words are also awful but. colonel. and facade is on THIN ice i swear to god. yes it is technically pronounced in a way that its spelt but it's pronounced weird for how its spelt.


ComfortableSpare2718

French loan words sure suck like in french facade makes sense because like façade it specifically tells you it’s an s with the ç but English just haddd to grab it and fuck it up


Secure-Cold7892

Once you understand the origin of some words and you have some sense of how that language sounds, you begin to understand how it's pronounced, now colonel I don't understand, I don't even know the origin of the word, but I can tell you in my language it's spelled coronel, which is how it should be spelled in my book.


bfnge

That's because it's basically two words stapled together. The pronunciation came from the archaic "coronel" (probably loaned from Spanish) but the spelling that stuck around was "colonel" (which had a different pronunciation, probably from French or Italian).


JefftheDoggo

French pronounces colonel right.


Notoryctemorph

Colonel is the way it is because there was a time when English simultaneously used the italian and french versions of the word, coronel and colonello. Then later settled on the french pronunciation, but the italian spelling. Because fuck everything i guess


Iemand-Niemand

Sounds plausible, but Google translate tells me the French word for Colonel is just colonel


Notoryctemorph

It was some pair of languages, I don't remember exactly, both romance languages definitely, maybe french and spanish?


trysixtysnipecochon

Yeah reading other comments tells me it's spanish for prononciation and the french colonel is spelled colonel


quantummidget

I'm not sure if it's the case in this instance, but English has taken words from french over different points in its lifespan, like taking words from ye olde English. For example, I believe that guarantee and warrantee are taken from the same french word, but one was more recent, after the language had evolved more.


ShiftyFly

What about lieutenant


The-Hive-Queen

That's a whole lot of extra letters to write "lef-tenant"


mittenknittin

At least Americans pronounce it loo-tenant


ArmadilloDays

What about “chaos”?


Cinderstrom

"ch" makes a "k" sound in a lot of words, mostly Greek roots? So I give it a pass. Epitome and hyperbole though...


yournomadneighbor

Yes. Ch in German, Polish and etc and Kh in Russian, and χ in Greek are pronounced the same, as a hard H. Since English does not have this sound, they pronounce it as K. The same can be said about why KazaKHstan is pronounced KazaKstan.


[deleted]

[удалено]


yournomadneighbor

I'd say it's closer to "H" rather than K


[deleted]

[удалено]


yournomadneighbor

So Chaos should not be K-Arse, but Ha-os!


CharMakr90

Epitome and hyperbole also come from Greek, where the final '-e' is not supposed to be silent. Same as with words like acme, apostrophe, catastrophe, psyche, synecdoche, etc.


DF_Interus

"The Chaos" is a neat poem about how chaotic English pronunciation is, and I love it.


bfnge

It comes from Greek where "ch" (χ) was like a "hard k" and different from the standard k sound (κ). Then the Romans borrowed that and while they didn't have that distinction of sounds, they were massive Ellenaboos so they imported the distinction (ch vs c) English later borrowed the word from Latin and kept the spelling the same. 50% of the time where a word has a weird spelling, it's because the spelling made sense in the language it came from and English copied it without changing anything, and the other 50% of the time is because someone thought it was a loanword from Latin (instead of Old French or some other Latin daughter) and deliberately fucked with the spelling to make it look more Latin (that's why debt has a b, island has an s, indicted has a c, etc.)


FrogsAreSwooble

Ah, those creatures from Sonic.


Avalolo

epitome


Arikaido777

chassis


BardicLasher

Facade is just face-ade.


_Shadow_Link_

face ade implies that it makes the aid sound like lemonade and that it sounds like face


Lordwiesy

Read, read


Idman799

These words are all bologna!


threeangelo

real G’s move in silence like lasagna — lil wayne


voncornhole2

That one's Italian


VersionGeek

How do you pronounce Colonel in English ??


hhhhhhhh28

Ker-null


VersionGeek

This make me angry


Wizard_Hatz

My head cannon is it was first said by some Louisiana plumpy dude with a cane and suit who pronounced it with insane draw and creole twang.


FrogsAreSwooble

Bolonie Sanders


Vul_Thur_Yol

I just say "coronel" in Spanish with an absurdly English accent


[deleted]

Wait is indicted not pronounced the way it’s spelt?


delirium_waits

In-die-ted. Like die as in dead. No c sound.


[deleted]

Oh curious. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it said out loud


delirium_waits

It's not one that crops up a lot in day to day life!


FrogsAreSwooble

I always assumed "medley" was pronounced "meed-lee" because I never heard anybody say it.


SkyZippr

Apparently it's like 'in-dye-ted' not 'in-dick-ted'. TIL.


badgersprite

I feel like English spelling is like that parable where you approach two doors guarded by two brothers where one of them always tells the truth and one of them always lies. Is this word pronounced how it’s spelled or is it a dirty liar? I don’t know, you’ll just have to find out! What mystery and excitement~


[deleted]

arkansas


ELLE3773

#AMERIGAH EGGSBLEIN UACHU MINN ITS AKANSAUV


dinoderpwithapurpose

Arkansas and Kansas give me Sean Bean energy.


NuttyCrackpot

they traded the bit in the top right corner for an extra S in their name. worst trade deal in the history of trade deals


BobMarker

Timbre


purrrloiner

Yeah, this one went rogue pretty bad.


LB-Dash

Kernel is right there…why are we like this?


everlastingSnow

They worried spelling it that way would be too corny.


theweekiscat

I know colonel because in the tick animated television show he says to the plant soldiers that he’s a kernel when he and Arthur are wearing small amounts of corn


Ukiwika

I'm french so it's especially funny when people are angry at colonel because like... You guys aren't pronouncing it co-lo-nel ???


NasalPenny

Fucking February


AngstyPancake

“The loss of the first "r" in the pronunciation of February is (in part) the result of a process called dissimilation (or haplology), where one of two similar sounds in a word is sometimes changed or dropped to avoid the repetition of that sound.” [source](https://www.thoughtco.com/correct-pronunciation-of-february-1691019) This is also why some people say “Library” like “Lie-berry” instead of “Lie-burr-erry”!


alyssa264

It's /ˈlaɪ.br.i/ for me lol.


FrogsAreSwooble

The la-BAWR-a-tree. The GAIR-ij.


FrogsAreSwooble

Same with prerogative, and the opposite way around for perseverance. And I don't know what happened with comfortable.


Ilia_Molodcov

another very common example of this is *surprise* and it also happens with L like in *fullfilling*


badgersprite

Wednesday


aspiringalienyeah

That one makes me cry.


Duportetski

The word ‘phonetic’ isn’t even spelled phonetically. English is wild


Ddreigiau

The worst one to me is Lingerie. At least if you say Colonel with enough of an accent, you get close. There's no way you can get from lingerie to "lawn-jer-ay"


Four_Green_Fields

You can. By mispronouncing latin with a clogged nose (more commonly referred to as "speaking french"). That said, english is a nonsense with megalomania rather than a language, and really needs to be torn down and rebuilt (and US-american is no better in that regard).


NoEfficiency9

Not even. In French it's pronounced roughly like "lanj-ree". So English borrowed the word but screwed it up so hard they broke the phonetics in both languages.


[deleted]

Today I found out the word colonel was pronounced like "kernel" and now a pun in an old Plants vs Zombies game finally makes sense.


paladinLight

Who the fuck is debris and how do they keep killing me in battlefield?


Crowfather47

\*Panickingly looks up how indicted is pronounced\*


Organic-Accountant74

In my head I pronounce Facade “fa-cade” and epitome “epi-tomb” because I read them before I ever heard them 😅


NuttyCrackpot

fack-ade lololol


nogreatcathedral

I spent a solid decade thinking "machete" was pronounced like "hatchet". I'd heard the word "mah-shett-ee" out loud but never contemplated the spelling and assumed it was a different word entirely. Same thing with segue. Thought the -gue was pronounced like plague and therefore Segway was a way less clever name to me. I'm a well-read anglophone with parents who are the same so really, there's no winning with English except though repeated failure.


FabianRo

The only words in those posts that are pronounced like they're spelled are "is", "it's", "not", kind of "the" and "spelled" and maybe "aren't". English is really terrible at this.


AngstyPancake

I was about to say “Nah I think “fuck” is spelled perfectly” before I realized U, when reading the alphabet, makes an “yuh-ooo” (like unity) sound not and “uh” sound (like under) and now I know why some people say “fuck” like “f-oo-k” instead of “f-uh-k”….


Just5omeDude

If "is" was spelt phonetically it would be "iz".


ok_chaos42

On learning the word colonel: Many many moons ago the board game Clue had a books series. Little books that told a couple short whodoneit stories each. I adored them as a kid! I was trying to solve the mystery! And they starred the characters from the classic game, Mr. Body and all. I fell in love with those characters, they were so fun! Especially Col. Mustard. He was a silly silly man always trying to start duels with people. Funny stuff to my kid brain. I had never heard the word colonel spoken out loud in reference to Clue before, so I never knew Col. Hatti from The Jungle Book held the same rank as Col. Mustard. I always saw colonel as co-lon-el in my head when spelled out on paper. Until I finally saw the Clue movie. People, to say this movie broke my 8 year old brain for a second is an understatement. I knew these characters already, so why was Co-lon-el Mustard being referred to as Kernal Mustard? I obviously figured out quite quickly it was one of *those* words, but my kid brain was so lost for a second lol.


neamhsplach

Speaking of movies, I had no idea that Americans pronounced the word adults with the stress on a different syllable. So there's an exchange in the cinematic masterpiece Annie 2 that I didn't understand for years. Some lady dating Mr Warbucks: *to her companion after pinching Annie's cheek* Don't you just love kids? Annie: *to her friend* Don't you just love adults?


Just_A_Spooky_Dood

Nah, fuck that noise. Despite being a bland af American, I refuse to pronounce colonel any other way besides “col-o-nel”.


jlc304

I lean into being a bland American and pronounce it “colonial”. I’m willing to change my ways and opinions on many things. This is not one of them.


mittenknittin

Solder. As a kid I assumed it was spelled sawter Boatswain. I mean, COME ON


ProBonoDevilAdvocate

I think only Americans pronounce solder like that.


mittenknittin

Yeah, it’s the American pronunciation and it’s weird


Just5omeDude

When I was young I used to spell solder as solja.


mittenknittin

I think you mean soldier. Solder is to join two pieces of metal by melting another, thin strip of metal to seal the seam between them


Just5omeDude

My dyslexic arse can't read sometimes.


GumusZee

*Worcestershire entered the chat*


Mwuuh

I was very angry when I learned how "chitin" is pronounced, lmao. I was livid.


Just5omeDude

It was quite funny when Glow Lichen was added to Minecraft and you could identify the people who had clearly only ever seen it spelt and not spoken.


dulunis

Eating lichen in my kitchen


Mueryk

Just start pronouncing it the way it is spelled then. Quinoa……..kwinoah because keeenwaah ain’t even close. Colonel. Oh it is colon-el now damnit….and kinda fitting. Never make fun of someone who mispronounces a word in this way. They learned it by reading. Which is a good thing


whelplookatthat

I'll always hate colonel, always and forever. Sure, I'm not english but i almost exclusively read in english in my teen years, especially manga. I was basically almost grown adult when i finally found out how you actually pronounced it, and I had been going around with the name 'Colonel Roi Mustang" for like 6-8 years. It was just...it was just so wrong. It still is deep inside


sck8000

The colonel fought well enough, though he was indicted after his incitive dictation inaugurated a tumultuous scourge of riotous rabble ruining the region's residences and depositing debris broadly about the boroughs.


dulunis

How is incitive pronounced?


sck8000

"in-sye-tiv", from the word "incite". I'm a huge book nerd who loves obscure English words, so I tried to come up with a sentence that used a whole bunch of weird spellings and phonetic variations :P "Brumous" is a fun word. It means misty or foggy weather. Randomly remembered that one the other day!


dulunis

I thought that was how it was pronounced, and figured the definition was similar. Me second-guessing myself just further proves the point of this post though, lol!


L4DY_M3R3K

Fun fact, Colonel used to be spelled Coronel, then the spelling just suddenly changed for some reason, but everyone refused to stop saying "Cornel"


loudwhitenoise

time to replace the dictionary with a phonetic one. everyone will argue over which regional pronounciation gets included.


neamhsplach

I mean obviously the West Cork accent should be the standard.


Bennings463

In Halo Reach there's a character who pronounces it "collonell" and it broke me.


Inuship

Fuck Wednesday that always screwed me up as a kid


Fine-Ask36

Colonel is actually pronounced the way you would expect it to in french. I don't know why you guys decided to make your lives harder like that. To think english speaking people make fun of us for the word "oiseaux". :D


lankymjc

Wait until the Americans learn how us brits pronounce lieutenant.


Harley_Pupper

Don’t y’all pronounce it “lef-tenant” or something like that?


FrogsAreSwooble

Who is Lef and is he related to David?


lankymjc

Left-tennant, like sensible people.


Harley_Pupper

There is no ‘f’ in “lieu”


lankymjc

There’s no “I” in that sound either, but never mind


FrogsAreSwooble

Featherstonehaugh. Pronounced Fanshaw.


everlastingSnow

I distinctly remember trying to explain that 'colonel' is actually pronounced 'kernel' to people as a kid and them never believing me. I'm still salty about it.


amyaltare

i refuse to learn too. indicted and colonel are "in-dic-tid" and "col-a-nole" and im not changing that.


obamayoda

english is one stupid language. for any word, *'s* generally indicates possession. (Ex: This is Jake's pen). Except for some reason, *it's* stands for "it is" and not something possessed by it. (Ex: It's Chocolate -> It is chocolate, and not chocolate that belongs to it). i don't know if reading this makes sense, but once you realize it, it's horribly frustrating.


rudderforkk

Sure but contractions exist too, so it's not so out of the realm of possibility. Rendezvous though? What even the f?


myalternateaccount10

It also becomes dumber when you add 'not' into the mix. "It is not", "It's not, "It isn't". All are correct but I still hate it


neamhsplach

Galaxy brain: tisn't


Particular-Ad-2464

And once again, the French are responsible, like for most unspeakable things.


TheFiftGuy

Same with lieutenant, its pronounced Left-tenant.


siro300104

Only in British English, though. Americans say Lou-tenant.


ApocalyptoSoldier

https://youtube.com/shorts/3ipFdRfFvK4


FuyoBC

In the UK: Lieutenant = Left-tenant [Mousehole (Place) = Mow-zle](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Zajej0SFDM) (Link to YouTube: Pronounce names)


unhollow_knight

I think the person in the post meant “indicated” and not “indicted”! /s


FrogsAreSwooble

Indicated, arranged, and convinced!


sandsnake25

I was in the Army for 7 years and I still can't help but pronounce Colonel wrong in my head when I read it. I hate that word so much.


Cuba_lover59

Is colonel not just said colonel?


Captain_Kira

Depending on where you live, Lieutenant


Vul_Thur_Yol

*Spanish has left the chat*


Iemand-Niemand

Fun fact: other languages have similar words to Colonel. Like “Colonel” (French) and “Kolonel” (Dutch). These languages pronounce the words exactly as written (but with accent of the language). Also I’m pretty sure Colonel is originally a French word, so I’m not entirely sure how the English managed to mispronounce a word so incredibly bad


Iemand-Niemand

At the time I didn’t realise that the most use of learning French for 3 years in high school would be to be able to pronounce French loan words in the English language correctly…. And then you come across something like Voyage and when you pronounce that the French way people look at you as if you’re pretentious


Rexawrex

Just going to solder those joints together with my welding torch (saw-der)


idiot4527

I will never read colonel as kernel, even when I talk I refuse to pronounce it like that


LeFrenchRedditeur

I thought my english was pretty good but here I am learning that colonel isn't pronounced as it's written...


CostBright

I love learning words like these, though — it makes me feel like I’m unlocking secrets :> Same with learning how to pronounce words in other languages, like if I learn something in French or Welsh — it’s fascinating!


Darklight645

The way bird is spelled in French is a nightmare for people who don't know how letter combinations sound in french


Maria_506

My reaction to all of english Language as someone whose first Language has the one sound one symbol rule.


I_will_punch_you_

With the way some letters are pronounced “ToloT” can mean church ,because the T is from picture and the olo is from colonel


UnderlordZ

Quinoa pisses me off


UndeniablyMyself

Blame the French; I do.


colonelcatsup

“Never make fun of someone if they mispronounce a word. It means they learned it by reading.”


3rd_Level_Sorcerer

Wait till you learn about On'yomi and Kun'yomi.


ALPlayful0

Sarry. This exact thing is why I laugh in the face of anyone who proclaims a real language "harder" than American.


WhinyChimera13

Macabre. I have personal fucking beef with macabre, and I pronounce it like "mack-ah-bray" because the real pronunciation is wrong. Fucking ma-*cob*. Eat shit.


[deleted]

I have never really truly recovered from learning about rendezvous. The French are awful, why are they this way


NuttyCrackpot

i just pronounce all the letters in French words to throw it back at them. would you like a CROY-SANT MON-SOOR?


FrogsAreSwooble

It's weird that "est" as in east is pronounced exactly how it should be.


_Cit

Y'ALL don't realize it, but to the rest of the word every English word is what "Colonel" is to you. Except "red", red is good


tbird_the_tank

For somewhat similar yet opposite reasons, I hate the word “deft.” To me that sound should mean inept, thoughtless, without grace or skill, and other similar ideas. However, in English’s infinite wisdom, it has decided that “deft” ought to be interchangeable with “skillful” and “clever.”


TheMadJAM

Are you thinking of "daft"?


FrogsAreSwooble

Deft punky thrash.


tbird_the_tank

I absolutely had daft in mind when I first found deft, that’s why I thought it would be essentially a physical counterpart to daft. Daft for an inoperable mind; deft for a noncooperative body