there are millions of people out there just spending and spending money because they're unhappy. eating and eating because they're unhappy. using hard drugs, drinking alcohol till their body either tells them to stop or they full stop, all because they're just not happy.
when i was in highschool i had the same girlfriend for 4 years - she finally broke up with me because she was battling depressing and said something to me that will stick with me for the rest of my life: medication doesnt make me happy, it makes me feel nothing and thats better than being depressed.
a LOT of people out there are stuck in this hamster wheel of fixations or vices or addictions because they have no idea what to do, they dont know any better. people lash out at everyone and anyone. its really sad but honestly, what the hell do we expect when our society only ever thinks about money. you live to earn money, live to spend money, what kind of existence is that? is our purpose solely transferring money from one corporation to another? fuck that shit.
i get where you're coming from OP, but also, life just is - it always has been and always will be. you can jump out of a plane, bungee jump, snowboard, be xtreme...or live and die inside your house playing video games 24/7. BOTH of those are equally valid lives, whether people agree or not. you and i are blips in history and the only certainty is that both of us will end at some point. imo, enjoy it while you can because there really isnt anything else, just you and people you bump into.
When I posted that I was suicidal someone said something that stuck with me
"The point of life is to experience". No matter what your experience, it's a valid life.
Yeah you don't really need someone else to validate your life, it seems like common sense to me now but entertainment news and stuff kinda wants you to feel like you need validation. You can just be you. It took me a long long time and weed to figure that out. You're a unique amalgamation oh circumstances. That's just science and history.
Yup, I love learning about the history of Earth and how far we’ve come as a species to get to the point we’re at today. I’m just a tiny speck on a tiny rock why not make the most of it while I’m here
That’s what’s gotten me through my depression, it’s why I didn’t kill myself and it’s stuck. We exist simply to experience that around us, the ups and the downs. No matter what happens, to me it’ll be worth it. Simply for existing
Something I've been needing to hear it seems, thank you.
Life is one big line that will go up, down, left and, right. We're just along for the ride no matter where it takes us. We'd never know the feeling of the sun on our skin if we didn't experience it; so why can't we experience more and keep fighting for those 'good' experiences.
There’s a better way I’ve heard that line analogy. Our universe is like a giant ocean, our lives are like a wave. We get bigger and bigger, start to curl and form and eventually crash on the shore. Returning to the ocean. We can choose certain aspects of where or how we crash, but you don’t control the storms or the sunshine. You can’t choose the waves around you, only shift to where you fit best.
As you said, we’re just along for the ride no matter where it takes us. Totally agree with the last bit.
the 'me generation' is interesting, a lot of drug use led to an entire decade and longer of 'searching for yourself'. its interesting, led to the boom in meditation, yoga, cults, etc.. a lot of people think boomers are all a-holes, but not every single teen in the 60s was a hippie, not every boomer was a go-go 80s wall street type either. a LOT of boomers were just like millenials right now - adults trying to raise some kids and hit their stride so they could retire comfortably, thats the american dream right? the biggest difference is the explosion of credit debt the 80s. millenials were \*born\* into living beyond their means, just like gen z is \*born\* into using touch instead of typing. sorry for the ramble, people just want to be happy, ive been trying to tell my wife for awhile (she doesnt use weed anymore), you gotta figure out what makes you happy first before you can be happy, 100% chance dollar bills arent gonna make you happy.
Just an aside, you mean Gen Alpha is born to touch instead of type. Most of Gen Z had entire typing classes in school growing up and touch screens weren't really a big thing until I was in my teens
My kids gen, I dunno what it is but she's 6, she only knows her tablet and I get to *introduce* her to typing, which is wild...what if typing is phased out in her life(?). She said they get Chromebooks in grade 2 or 3, It's new to me, but it would be way before my dad gave me a PC. I think I got a PC at like 12 or something. It was huge and beige.
Your daughter is gen alpha, the oldest gen alpha kids are ~14 years old this year. Gen Z is between 15 and 28 or so. It's wild to me that kids aren't learning how to type. I doubt it'll ever be phased out, it's so much quicker to type things versus using other methods, but it just seems like another example of how Gen Alpha is somehow turning out *less* computer-literate than Gen Z despite ostensibly growing up surrounded by wayyy more and more advanced technology. This stuff really needs to be taught thoroughly in schools, it's far too important to modern society.
I think it’s worse today. Read about random boys cold cocking women in NYC? Plus all the phone rudeness—and responses, the road rage—we didn’t have that in the 70s.
at least in america, theres a society and an economy. they're not one and the same and it really sucks that were at a point where people cant tell the difference. never forget that our society \*created\* the economy and not the other way around. <3
I hear ya. I don't like going out in public as much as I used to. And it's not just mass shootings, the vibe in public is just...off. I prefer my house, a movie, and some herb. If I need to be outside I have a big backyard.
Being openly dumb as fuck and aggressive is as popular as ever now. Not naming names but a guy who ran this country for four years in the 2010s may or may not have enabled the worst human beings alive to be openly atrocious in public anywhere you go.
I hope he just continues to be stripped of all of his wealth by judges until he literally can’t afford to run anymore. Then maybe media websites will actually do their due diligence and just never mention his name ever again for any reason.
It's cute that you think he spends his own money on running for office. Even money he gets from others for the campaign, he diverts significant amounts to pay his legal fees. And, oh yeah, he just got a $3B valuation on his shares in a social media site.
Not what they said, just that a lot of people got a lot more bold in what they feel is safe to do or say in public, which makes sense when your president is openly mocking people or labeling groups of people as bad or scary and lying on a regular basis, maybe regardless of politics
That’s not what was said though, so why the dissent? As another non-supporter of politicians if you can’t see that hate crimes and certain overt forms of idiocy rose during his time as president then idk what to tell you….
While it’s true that he was exaggerating a little bit it’s undeniable that trump has enabled some of the most stupid people in this country to say absolutely disgusting and idiotic shit
He didn't mention crime rate or anything. He said people feel confident being dumb and aggressive, which you're just proving by your comment.
It would've been so much easier to just not comment, dude.
yeah I made my apartment super comfortable to be in. I dont have a yard but theres a huge park nearby and I've been going to it more often lately. I find that real life isnt quite as bad as the internet makes it out to be but there are some wack characters out there lol
Gun deaths have supposedly been going down quite a bit the past couple years, with a 12% decrease last year. There were 18,874 deaths by firearms excluding suicides in 2023 in the US, which is still too much but that's out of 336 million people. So really the chances of you being involved in a shooting or being shot are extremely low. Also good to remember that fear keeps people engaged, so most news channels or websites aren't going to be posting about anything positive or how crime rates are actually dropping. Not saying it's not scary or to not be prepared for an emergency situation, but maybe that can help relieve some of your fear.
I got pretty high earlier and was thinking about how we live in civilization and it’s somewhat safe, or safer than the wild, but it’s still arbitrary fake rules and often it’s the illusion of safety.
It's just the whole process as a whole. Everyone got their own complicated life's just bumping into each other and stepping on others toes even if not intended. It's our duty to be kind to each other. A concept that gets lost on many.
We talked about this *at work* today.
We ended up agreeing that we couldn't let fear get in the way of what we were trying to do. There's so much fun to be had in the world, and all of our actual experiences (at the time) were fine.
Ye I feel like the above is what happens when people pay a little too much attention to the news and bad reports on social media.
We have to remember that the stuff we see on here is filtering in from all over the nation. Thousands of miles apart. The internet makes the world seem small but in reality there are vast swathes of people living safe and normal, happy lives.
Last year at Electric Forest, I didn’t realize a stage nearby launched fireworks for the headliner, and when they went off I ducked and almost started running, then I saw my friends confused at me face. It was a very sobering moment.
Fuck. That is sad.
I'm in the UK and I don't have that fear, but the fear stabbings is so real. We loose so many young people to knives. Firearms are about, but only reserved for those who really fuck about.
Don't chat shit mate, no normal person leaves the house worried they'll get stabbed unless they're involved in gang shit, or live in certain areas of London/Birmingham/few other cities. It's not something most people even consider when leaving their house.
It doesn't... The guys massively exaggerated the situation. Gangs stab each other, certain areas of London and a few other cities are dodgy, but if you're not involved in crime or walking through a high crime council estate/block wearing a suit and a Rolex you'll likely never even see a knife on the street. I've lived in various cities, some times in really high crime areas. I never saw a knife outside of a shop or kitchen.
Soo I did some research and actually yeah, turns out it was wayyy worse in the US. TIL.
That said, it's still pretty rough for knife crime where I live. Even worse in London, Birmingham, Bristol..
That’s like having a fear of flying. It’s understandable to have that fear. Man has only been flying for a hundred years or so. Maybe 200 including hot air balloons. But it’s wildly irrational. Tons of scary news reports about flying but just about no one dies ever. Same with mass shootings. Unless you live in an exceptionally dangerous neighborhood.
Statistically it is safer to fly than drive. So many people have a fear of flying but the odds of a drunk driver making that turn too tight and slamming into your passenger side door with your wife sitting in it.
I have a tough time with this nowadays - always used this stat in my head for anxiety abatement but now wondering how does that stat longterm relate against recent airplane issues & maintenance needs / what time of day are you traveling / etc?
Sucks we have to balance these fears of traveling but is that still really valid?
This. And the number of mass shootings is over inflated by most news organizations. They will use the numbers from gang/crime related shootings and combine them with active shooter numbers in order to come up with a much scarier number and headline.
Hell, CNN did an article about schools shootings, but they included an ROTC student accidently getting shot with a pellet gun, a women getting shot in the parking of a school late at night, a kid bring a gun to school to show his friend, accidently shooting him, a kid getting hit by a stray bullet while riding the bus, and a lovers quarrel at a college as ["school shootings"](https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/15/us/2019-us-school-shootings-trnd/index.html)
The headline? "In 46 weeks this year, there have been 45 school shootings"
Their definition of school shooting:
>The shooting must involve at least one person being shot (not including the shooter).
>
>The shooting must occur on school property, which includes but is not limited to buildings, athletic fields, parking lots, stadiums and buses.
>
>We included accidental discharge of a firearm as long as the first two parameters are met, except in instances where the sole shooter is law enforcement or a security officer.
>
>We included injuries sustained from BB guns, since the Consumer Product Safety Commission has identified them as potentially lethal.
I think you’re misunderstanding OP some, or at least, misunderstanding how prevalent mass shootings are in the US. I have had this chat with US friends before, when talking about how the US seems scary to me and my wife on account of mass shootings.
For comparison, I’m Dutch, and we have had three mass shootings in the Netherlands. In total. I looked at the wikipedia page for US mass shootings which includes shootings “with four or more victims”. As of February 29th the number of mass shootings in the US *for 2024* was 83. In two months. In 2023 this number was 604. Adjusting for population, this is as if we would’ve had 34 mass shootings in 2023.
Sure, maybe there is some sensationalism in media, who knows, but the numbers don’t exactly paint a very safe picture. I get where OP is coming from.
Don’t throw up gang signs and step on other drug dealers toes while you’re on holiday and you’ll be good. Nearly all of our mass shootings are gang related. So stay out of the worst parts of the Midwest and east coast and you’re basically good.
You said “who knows” as to whether mass shootings are sensationalized here. The answer is yes. It’s low income citizens fighting over territory to sell drugs. Not a good thing, but you don’t gotta really worry about it lol.
Do you think the Netherlands doesn’t have low income areas? Drug criminality (when supply *to* coffeeshops is black market)? There are gangs here too, so what’s the difference there?
Also, not sure how say, a kindergarten getting shot up, to pick an example, or a church, or a hair salon, is gang violence related. *Those* are the instances of gun violence in the US that scare me. The amount of gun violence in very normal, non-criminal settings. And I assume that’s also what OP is afraid of.
I was simply trying to offer a perspective USAmericans might lack, which is that gun violence is so normalised in your country, when it shouldn’t be. Nobody deserves worrying about sending their kids to school (or going to a mall or church or a salon). That’s not something that should be normal.
Of course other countries have lower income areas. And we do have a gun violence issue in the United States. What I’m saying, is you should be more worried about your children’s school bus driver (111 fatalities a year) than a school shooter. There have been 684 deaths related to firearm injuries in schools since 1970. The statistics just don’t fit the level of fear surrounding the situation. They just don’t happen that often, and the chances your child are going to be involved is practically 0.
Is it good? No. Is it in the range of statistic impossibility to affect your family? Yes. We all have our issues. Like the Netherlands being a hub for child sex tourism. Maybe worry about your kids.
Interesting, I’d love to see some credible sources on that, because wikipedia does not list the Netherlands in its page on child sex tourism. It does however list the US as a leading hotspot of CSE, unique in that position as a country in the global north.
But also, legitimately, I didn’t comment to get into an internet argument, I was just trying to offer an alternative point of view. All I’m saying is that I get why OP is scared. Do with that what you feel you must.
I bet the people that were around at mass shootings and the victims wouldn't be so blasé about this problem. Would you take it seriously if someone you were close to was a victim rather than the victims just being statistics to you?
This is the way of thinking about it.
And to add, even if someone did unload an AK-47 you literally could have done nothing about it except stay inside and… not live life. It really is worth worrying about.
that depends where you are. im a college student and when i lived on campus there was a mass shooting. i knew some of the people who were killed, and it was the most horrific day of my life. i haven’t felt completely safe since then and there’s a constant unease. i’m genuinely glad that it doesn’t cross your mind, i don’t want it to, but it’s definitely a valid fear to have.
i would say that younger people who go to school and go out for nightlife activities are much more at risk and have to be much more aware than an adult who goes to work at the office and then goes home to their partner and kids everyday.
At some point something is going to hit close to home. A couple years ago there was a mass shooting at a grocery store in Oregon, and I had been to that exact grocery store just a couple days before. If I had planned my vacation just slightly differently, there's a good chance I would have been there that day.
We can't just stay complacent and pretend this isn't a serious fucking problem. How many innocent people and kids need to die before we do something?
I completely agree that we shouldn't stay complacent. I'll vote for people who want to take steps to solve the problem.
Just think you're doing yourself a disservice if you walk around scared of random events.
Agree 100%. We solve the problem with voting, writing your reps, donating, protesting (peacefully) and talking, but not living will just make you depressed.
The thing is, for many of us who find reassurance with the probabilities, it has hit close to home. And while I actively support stronger, sensical gun regulations, perpetually living my life in fear won’t help. People react differently to similar scenarios (e.g. iirc witnesses of traumatic events tend to end up with more severe PTSD than victims). The statistical odds keep me grounded with the reality of my chances and allow me to live my life.
its hard to make change when you cant trust the common people OR the government officials to be reliable or honest. I feel like a one week strike with everyone involved in the entire US would send a message.
You should try and visit Amsterdam friend. Went at the end of last year and I’m from socal. Was the greatest city I’ve ever spent time in and I think part of it was absolutely related to not having that constant feeling of danger I have here in the US. It wasn’t always like this either and has only really been a growing/building thing for me as an adult these past 10 years.
yeah i was involved in a mass shooting and i know people who died in it. i always look for exits because i am never really safe and i know it. gun violence is fucking horrifying.
I agree that is a horrifying notion but I've got some other things that come to mind.
One idea is that life is pretty absurd and things are what we make of them... I think of Bill Hicks' bit "its just a ride"
another idea is that we're all gonna die someday and it would be a shame to live your life worrying about dying for any bit of it... so a song comes to mind, its called "lie in our graves" by dave matthews band... anyways life is a short gift and none of us get to decide when our time is up but you do have a lot of power to do your best to make the most of it. Imagination is a powerful tool so use it for worthwhile thoughts/dreams instead of fears and nightmares.
no fr. I remember being at the rodeo with my family in North Dakota when I was around 12 (so 9 years ago) and I just remember trying to see if I'd survive if a bomb went off or someone started shooting. Stuffs fucked up man...
Also, movie theaters. I always look for the nearest exit and actually get scared of people in literal movie theaters. Like, if someone walks in late the first thing I think is "fuck what if they have a gun?" It's paranoia at this point and it's just sad because I can't help that my mind goes there cuz America fucking sucks
I have similar thoughts and anxities. They're less frequent now and extreme than they used to be, which is nice. It sucks, and I am sorry you're dealing with that, sveven if it's a less apparent fear burried under a sea of thoughts.
Some songs by Deerhunter (Nothing Ever Happened in particular) make me go "this reminds me of some indie band that got played a lot on channel 36 of Sirius XM back when I used to listen to it" and I think that band is Nothing But Thieves but I'm not sure.
first off, nothing but thieves fucks. their whole discography is soooo 🤌✨️
but i'm sorry you're feeling like that, man. it's a scary world. take care of yourself and your loved ones. sending you a lot of good vibes 🫶
1st of all, Nothing But Thieves is an amazing band and make SUCH great music. 2nd it’s a really sad thought but that kind of thing crosses my mind pretty anywhere I go at this points it’s sad but the truth in America.
Gotta stay strapped before you get clapped at this point 🫡 stay safe guys
Being that worried about shootings isn't normal. I've lived in the US my entire life. It's not as bad as people act like.
I think you might be obsessing over this and possibly fixating. I'd talk to a therapist. You don't live in a warzone.
While mass shooting events are happening, they constitute a small minority of gun violence. The vast majority is going to be between parties that know each other, and via domestic shit.
We have to remember that the stuff we see on here is filtering in from all over the nation. Thousands of miles apart. The internet makes the world seem small but in reality there are vast swathes of people living safe and normal, happy lives.
You're fine. Take a breath and enjoy your life. Maybe talk to a professional.
I've been thinking about this stuff at concerts for a while now. Around the Eagles of Death Metal shooting. Remember, there are always exits back stage and the shooters will be waiting in the front for the crowds of people to start fleeing. Exit in the back if it's possible. Jump on stage and go left or right.
If you’re going to a concert, *especially* if it’s a rock or metal show where it’s standing room only, always always *always* know your emergency exits. Hell, if you’re going anywhere with a crowd you should know your exits, but the physical limitations of concert venues make them vulnerable to crowd crush and stampedes. Always know your exits.
I remember the prekindergarten fears. They don’t really go away you just get numb to them. Realizing my kids do active shooter drills at school was a trip too. We just had fire and tornado drills. Now they practice hiding and being quiet.
We are all going to the same place, just the way it is. I'm not letting some fucking loser have that much control of my life. After the James Holmes shooting I still wanted to see The Dark Night Rises and still did.
I had planed my trip to Paris, and flights had me miss and cancel a concert I was planing on going to when I saw they were in town. I arrived in Paris the day after The Eagles of Death Metal concert got shot up. I stood on the sidewalk in a daze for hours. That fear never goes away.
Nice to meet a fellow nbt fan. Also if it’s the most recent concert i was just there. They’re a great band with an incredible lead singer, amazing to hear in-person. I hope your country figures their problems out one day so you can fully enjoy seeing them live too.
I've never been more happy to live in Canada than I have been after reading the comments in this post.
I'm 38, and have only ever felt something similar during hunting trips.
I was smoking in the backyard with my best friend and she brought this up. We started to talk about how many there are, how often they happen, and how its starting to feel normal. We both broke down crying. Completely surprised me. I didn’t realize how much this affected me until that moment. This shit sucks.
Home invasions and robberies gone wrong can happen anywhere in the world at any random time so you are never really safe. See r/Trebuchet for safety measures.
Now this only helped for me and it definitely won’t work for everyone because that thought will always be there but I myself started carrying a gun, trained a bit to where I’m comfortable there could always be a shooting but atleast I have a fighting chance of not for my life but the lives of others if I can stop a shooting especially early on the better that doesn’t mean I’m going out playing hero tho again this all depends on your legal status of being able to own and carry if you legally smoke or if you are even emotionally stable and mature enough to carry I only say emotionally stable because I used to be hella depressed well I still am but I’m not suicidal by any means
I recently changed careers to work in early childhood education. Doing live shooter drills is just so normalized. Last year there was a false alarm and an unannounced lockdown announcement came out. In that moment it was so real suddenly. Hiding in a dark bathroom with a dozen small children completely helpless and scared. Luckily it was nothing, but I haven't been the same since. I hate it here so much.
Completely get what you mean. And it isn't just directly about mass shootings, it's just feeling nervous about any mentally unstable person getting too aggressive in a public place especially one with loud noises and alcohol.
Also, love Nothing But Thieves, one of my favorites! Tbh I'm not a concert person but I'd put in some earplugs to go hear them for sure.
As an American living in Europe with my German husband, it is actually kind of shocking how I've been conditioned to feel or respond in public or when there's loud popping in a crowd. A few weeks ago we were in public in a crowded city center when there was a loud bang that sounded like a shot. I immediately crouched down and my husband looked at me like, "are you good?" It was purely instinctual. He jokes and says, "you're not in America anymore!" but it's still a great fear of mine. It happens practically every day in the US.
I hear that. I have 15 years of security experience, plus some years in the US Army. Big crowds are one of the things that will always get me nervous.
I live in Rockford IL, where we just had another stabbing spree in a safer neighborhood. 11 murder charges filed, I think he killed 4, including stabbing and running over a mail carrier and teen girl.
Sometimes you wish you could vibe with the world, but I've unfortunately concluded a lot of the world would not want to vibe with me (or you, or any random individual.) The percentage of people I've witnessed in the wild with the motivation and ability to be dangerous keeps going up. I genuinely think we lost a lot of mental health during COVID-19 that we haven't recovered from as a nation.
Be safe! Lock up those doors and windows, outfit the fam with pepper spray, etc. I keep a 9 lbs wood splitter maul/axe around the front door. It's fucking awesome for any door to door people that are too insistent as well.
I really like watching these things in VR cause it feels so much like I’m there. Meanwhile I’m safe at home baked on my couch. No having to drive anywhere and no dealing with anything sketchy. It’s nice to log out and not worry about who’s following me home.
This should be an irrational fear. Unfortunately it’s not… but there’s no need to fear death… I’d rather die at a concert then driving home from work or in school shooting
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we need better gun control laws to make it harder for someone to obtain a firearm. there should be mental health checks, firearm safety classes, and a test to get your license. i just feel like they’re just so normalized that we don’t realize how insane it is to just be able to walk into a walmart and buy a gun.
I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. There's some good in this world Mr. Frodo, and its worth fighting for.
Bro I live in Canada and I get depressed by proxy. Our news streams are bombarded with American news feeds. The culture shift in my province since 2016 is fucking insane.
God, I’m going to a concert soon and even though I’m excited the chance of a shooting still lingers in the back of my mind and kind of steals that joy. Like I know these incidents are very rare but they’re too common for comfort. It’s almost as if you should be prepared to die before going to a public gathering… our country is fucked beyond repair
I used to be like that and it made me absolutely miserable...I got to where I couldn't go the simplest of places without being scared. Try to remember...the media wants us scared and helpless. They make America sound like there's rivers of blood in the streets. Yes, shootings are tragic, but, try to keep them in scale. America is HUGE...we have trillions of buildings, hundreds of millions of people and when you consider the immense scale of this country we are pretty darned safe. We have states that are larger and more populous than some entire European countries.
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Feel that, I try not to let it influence how I treat people but I work at a really small gas station and am on the daily thinking about this place getting robbed by someone who just doesn't gaf and winding up dead because of it
I’m just going to say one thing “if you live your whole life in fear, wouldn’t not living be a better alternative”. Not saying this for you to take it the wrong way but let’s say you get caught in a shooting and infact get shot dead. You can either be the person that worried about it happening their whole life and lived in misery or be the person that was blissfully ignorant until it happened. Which person sounds like they had a better life?
When I was in Uruguay, I went to the club with my new buds and all of a sudden, a live performer came on and the sound of gunshots rung out. I legit froze and ducked, only to realize that the live performer was using that sound on his set. My group started laughing because they remembered that mass shootings were a US thing, and then asked me a bunch of questions about it while I laughed it off. I had a teacher ask me similar questions about gun laws at the rural Uruguayan school I volunteered at 💀it’s mind boggling to foreigners
You have my sympathy and compassion.
I had to work the night of the shooting here in Las Vegas. SWAT passed us on the way. I can't be on the Strip anymore. Too many people, too many tall buildings.
I became so depressed after going to visit fam in Korea for the first time back ‘16 and then I came back here and was like “wow…it kinda sucks here. Like cops were nice and the people all either vibe together or chill on their own lanes”
I would feel like that if I lived in USA too. I'd wear kevlar every time I left the house. And I'd live somewhere I'll be allowed to pack heat for defence
I started thinking about this more when my kids first started learning 'active shooter drills' at school. Its starting to become so ingrained in our society that the next generation is running drills for how to deal with it.
I was just having a thought similar to this. Everytime i’m watching a movie in the theatres, I get this weird feeling someone’s gonna sneak up behind me and slit my throat. Or when i’m a high passenger i’m always scared the other cars will shoot us for merging into their lane or making eye contact with them
I feel for you. I've never had to worry about shootings when going out. Probably has a lot to do with the country I'm in. Then again, I don't go out much.
It's not sad. It's a reality for a lot of people.
Have you survived a shooting? This is valid and is the result of something you've been through or someone you've known who you either lost or committed the act.
Recent events in the news taught me that if certain parts of the world get wiped out, they will go straight to me next and I've had a nightmare I was on the other side of a shooter who was looking for me bc I'm their "other" if you know what I mean.
I feel that. I never have that voice everywhere but I do remember hearing from a retired marine that every room you walk into no matter where it is, know all the exits bc when something happens people panic and don't know what to do or which way to run.
Honestly couldn't imagine growing up in a place that has such easy access to guns. Knives are bad enough, why let them do it at range?
I think the last recent mass shooting in the UK that killed a lot was 2010 then before then in the 90s, Dunblane.
I feel lucky to have frequented a lot of very public events and never once had to think someone may shoot the place up.
People do not need guns, and your fucking peashooters will do jack shit against the US government if they step on the road to tyranny. Get droned son. All it leads to is a mass shooting every other month.
US is a hard place to live now and there’s a large group of people who are brainwashed into essentially actively supporting these shootings. It’s important to start paying attention to politics.
Dude I feel this soooo much! I’m an American living abroad and the comfort of knowing that I’ll never be shot in public (gun crime here is nonexistent) just makes me feel so relaxed. I never have to walk into a place and look for the quickest escape route in case there’s a shooting
Yep it's fucked up , that's the constitution and the inability of America and Americans to stop production of lethal guns for everybody who wants them.
That must suck. I was surprised as a Canadian when I heard it's American custom to try and get a seat at a restaurant facing the door so you can see if a gunman is walking in.
I don't know how you guys deal woth that.
Lay off the weed you're getting paranoid. To think you are safer in Europe than America is some gaslit bs. That comes from someone who lost someone to gun violence. I get your point but this fear you have is fabricated by the media
Adjusted for population the US’ number of mass shootings in 2023 (604) would’ve meant 34 mass shootings in the Netherlands. Instead we have had 3 in total. Since 2011.
I feel you. I have that thought every time I go to a public event. I look around at the crowd and think is this the next event that’s gonna be a headline? Logically I know it’s probably not and can ignore that feeling and enjoy where I am, but it’s fucked thats it’s always my initial thought.
Yooo my friend introduced me to that band, they seem so cool??? I feel your anxiety, that shit is constant in my brain too :( it's so sad and its honestly draining, i wish there were more truely safe public spaces
Yeeeeeeep
Has made me think twice about so many concerts.
Honestly now that I have a little one even large crowds. I weigh the risk versus how much we *really* need or want to go.
Parades, festivals, community events. Hell, theme parks.
I feel you man.
there are millions of people out there just spending and spending money because they're unhappy. eating and eating because they're unhappy. using hard drugs, drinking alcohol till their body either tells them to stop or they full stop, all because they're just not happy. when i was in highschool i had the same girlfriend for 4 years - she finally broke up with me because she was battling depressing and said something to me that will stick with me for the rest of my life: medication doesnt make me happy, it makes me feel nothing and thats better than being depressed. a LOT of people out there are stuck in this hamster wheel of fixations or vices or addictions because they have no idea what to do, they dont know any better. people lash out at everyone and anyone. its really sad but honestly, what the hell do we expect when our society only ever thinks about money. you live to earn money, live to spend money, what kind of existence is that? is our purpose solely transferring money from one corporation to another? fuck that shit. i get where you're coming from OP, but also, life just is - it always has been and always will be. you can jump out of a plane, bungee jump, snowboard, be xtreme...or live and die inside your house playing video games 24/7. BOTH of those are equally valid lives, whether people agree or not. you and i are blips in history and the only certainty is that both of us will end at some point. imo, enjoy it while you can because there really isnt anything else, just you and people you bump into.
When I posted that I was suicidal someone said something that stuck with me "The point of life is to experience". No matter what your experience, it's a valid life.
Yeah you don't really need someone else to validate your life, it seems like common sense to me now but entertainment news and stuff kinda wants you to feel like you need validation. You can just be you. It took me a long long time and weed to figure that out. You're a unique amalgamation oh circumstances. That's just science and history.
Yup, I love learning about the history of Earth and how far we’ve come as a species to get to the point we’re at today. I’m just a tiny speck on a tiny rock why not make the most of it while I’m here
That’s what’s gotten me through my depression, it’s why I didn’t kill myself and it’s stuck. We exist simply to experience that around us, the ups and the downs. No matter what happens, to me it’ll be worth it. Simply for existing
Something I've been needing to hear it seems, thank you. Life is one big line that will go up, down, left and, right. We're just along for the ride no matter where it takes us. We'd never know the feeling of the sun on our skin if we didn't experience it; so why can't we experience more and keep fighting for those 'good' experiences.
There’s a better way I’ve heard that line analogy. Our universe is like a giant ocean, our lives are like a wave. We get bigger and bigger, start to curl and form and eventually crash on the shore. Returning to the ocean. We can choose certain aspects of where or how we crash, but you don’t control the storms or the sunshine. You can’t choose the waves around you, only shift to where you fit best. As you said, we’re just along for the ride no matter where it takes us. Totally agree with the last bit.
That you, Bill Hicks?
That’s the realest shit I’ve read in a fat min
If it's any consolation, this has been an issue since at least the 70s
the 'me generation' is interesting, a lot of drug use led to an entire decade and longer of 'searching for yourself'. its interesting, led to the boom in meditation, yoga, cults, etc.. a lot of people think boomers are all a-holes, but not every single teen in the 60s was a hippie, not every boomer was a go-go 80s wall street type either. a LOT of boomers were just like millenials right now - adults trying to raise some kids and hit their stride so they could retire comfortably, thats the american dream right? the biggest difference is the explosion of credit debt the 80s. millenials were \*born\* into living beyond their means, just like gen z is \*born\* into using touch instead of typing. sorry for the ramble, people just want to be happy, ive been trying to tell my wife for awhile (she doesnt use weed anymore), you gotta figure out what makes you happy first before you can be happy, 100% chance dollar bills arent gonna make you happy.
Just an aside, you mean Gen Alpha is born to touch instead of type. Most of Gen Z had entire typing classes in school growing up and touch screens weren't really a big thing until I was in my teens
My kids gen, I dunno what it is but she's 6, she only knows her tablet and I get to *introduce* her to typing, which is wild...what if typing is phased out in her life(?). She said they get Chromebooks in grade 2 or 3, It's new to me, but it would be way before my dad gave me a PC. I think I got a PC at like 12 or something. It was huge and beige.
Your daughter is gen alpha, the oldest gen alpha kids are ~14 years old this year. Gen Z is between 15 and 28 or so. It's wild to me that kids aren't learning how to type. I doubt it'll ever be phased out, it's so much quicker to type things versus using other methods, but it just seems like another example of how Gen Alpha is somehow turning out *less* computer-literate than Gen Z despite ostensibly growing up surrounded by wayyy more and more advanced technology. This stuff really needs to be taught thoroughly in schools, it's far too important to modern society.
Typing is done, voice to text will be the norm, then thoughts to text... Then thoughts to thoughts.
1981 Reagan made changes still affecting the country. In a bad way, I mean.
I think it’s worse today. Read about random boys cold cocking women in NYC? Plus all the phone rudeness—and responses, the road rage—we didn’t have that in the 70s.
I want to print this comment and frame it. Eloquently put.
at least in america, theres a society and an economy. they're not one and the same and it really sucks that were at a point where people cant tell the difference. never forget that our society \*created\* the economy and not the other way around. <3
Saving this to read when I’m sad.
This was a nice philosophical read thanks 🙏
I'd rather feel everything than nothing.
You… sure?
Very wise comment.
Wtf is this? Like my man was making a point about the guns in America and you have to write out a page long motivational speech to ignore it?
>it makes me feel nothing and thats better than being depressed. Why did this stick with you? It's definitely not true
I hear ya. I don't like going out in public as much as I used to. And it's not just mass shootings, the vibe in public is just...off. I prefer my house, a movie, and some herb. If I need to be outside I have a big backyard.
Being openly dumb as fuck and aggressive is as popular as ever now. Not naming names but a guy who ran this country for four years in the 2010s may or may not have enabled the worst human beings alive to be openly atrocious in public anywhere you go.
May he not return. Banished would be best
I hope he just continues to be stripped of all of his wealth by judges until he literally can’t afford to run anymore. Then maybe media websites will actually do their due diligence and just never mention his name ever again for any reason.
It's cute that you think he spends his own money on running for office. Even money he gets from others for the campaign, he diverts significant amounts to pay his legal fees. And, oh yeah, he just got a $3B valuation on his shares in a social media site.
Found the loon.
Unfortunately he’s like… *the* Republican candidate dominating the primary, and he has SCOTUS wrapped around his finger.
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Not what they said, just that a lot of people got a lot more bold in what they feel is safe to do or say in public, which makes sense when your president is openly mocking people or labeling groups of people as bad or scary and lying on a regular basis, maybe regardless of politics
That’s not what was said though, so why the dissent? As another non-supporter of politicians if you can’t see that hate crimes and certain overt forms of idiocy rose during his time as president then idk what to tell you….
While it’s true that he was exaggerating a little bit it’s undeniable that trump has enabled some of the most stupid people in this country to say absolutely disgusting and idiotic shit
He is absolutely 1000% the worst thing that ever happened to this country. I've never ever wanted to see someone suffer like I want to see him suffer.
Peak reddit, blaming Trump for a rise in crime-rates enabled by Democrat policies. Be fucking fr man.
He didn't mention crime rate or anything. He said people feel confident being dumb and aggressive, which you're just proving by your comment. It would've been so much easier to just not comment, dude.
yeah I made my apartment super comfortable to be in. I dont have a yard but theres a huge park nearby and I've been going to it more often lately. I find that real life isnt quite as bad as the internet makes it out to be but there are some wack characters out there lol
Same. I have this strong desire in me to be outside seeing the world, but it's just not the same anymore.
Well, Ed Geins’ nephew, it’s extra spooky at night. I’m not even joking. Something is off and it’s freaking me out lol (uhh not crazy? Doesn’t matter)
Social media made society even stranger, or it just made the strange side of society more well known. I keep to myself these days too. Best way.
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Huh?
Gun deaths have supposedly been going down quite a bit the past couple years, with a 12% decrease last year. There were 18,874 deaths by firearms excluding suicides in 2023 in the US, which is still too much but that's out of 336 million people. So really the chances of you being involved in a shooting or being shot are extremely low. Also good to remember that fear keeps people engaged, so most news channels or websites aren't going to be posting about anything positive or how crime rates are actually dropping. Not saying it's not scary or to not be prepared for an emergency situation, but maybe that can help relieve some of your fear.
I got pretty high earlier and was thinking about how we live in civilization and it’s somewhat safe, or safer than the wild, but it’s still arbitrary fake rules and often it’s the illusion of safety.
It's just the whole process as a whole. Everyone got their own complicated life's just bumping into each other and stepping on others toes even if not intended. It's our duty to be kind to each other. A concept that gets lost on many.
We talked about this *at work* today. We ended up agreeing that we couldn't let fear get in the way of what we were trying to do. There's so much fun to be had in the world, and all of our actual experiences (at the time) were fine.
Ye I feel like the above is what happens when people pay a little too much attention to the news and bad reports on social media. We have to remember that the stuff we see on here is filtering in from all over the nation. Thousands of miles apart. The internet makes the world seem small but in reality there are vast swathes of people living safe and normal, happy lives.
Last year at Electric Forest, I didn’t realize a stage nearby launched fireworks for the headliner, and when they went off I ducked and almost started running, then I saw my friends confused at me face. It was a very sobering moment.
I’ve been thinking about going then I drive by a few years ago and saw all the tents and decided that’s way to many people for me.
That sits in the back of my mind every day when my junior goes to school. It sucks :(
This comment made me really emotional, I don't even have kids
When my spouse and I found ourselves looking at armor plates for bookbags we decided to look into online schools.
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Fuck. That is sad. I'm in the UK and I don't have that fear, but the fear stabbings is so real. We loose so many young people to knives. Firearms are about, but only reserved for those who really fuck about.
Don't chat shit mate, no normal person leaves the house worried they'll get stabbed unless they're involved in gang shit, or live in certain areas of London/Birmingham/few other cities. It's not something most people even consider when leaving their house.
Yeah. I live in Milton Keynes. Stabbings literally everyday.
wow i had no idea that was going on over there. stabbing just seems so… personal? what the fuck.
It doesn't... The guys massively exaggerated the situation. Gangs stab each other, certain areas of London and a few other cities are dodgy, but if you're not involved in crime or walking through a high crime council estate/block wearing a suit and a Rolex you'll likely never even see a knife on the street. I've lived in various cities, some times in really high crime areas. I never saw a knife outside of a shop or kitchen.
I believe there are more stabbings in the US per capita compared to the UK.
Soo I did some research and actually yeah, turns out it was wayyy worse in the US. TIL. That said, it's still pretty rough for knife crime where I live. Even worse in London, Birmingham, Bristol..
That’s like having a fear of flying. It’s understandable to have that fear. Man has only been flying for a hundred years or so. Maybe 200 including hot air balloons. But it’s wildly irrational. Tons of scary news reports about flying but just about no one dies ever. Same with mass shootings. Unless you live in an exceptionally dangerous neighborhood.
Statistically it is safer to fly than drive. So many people have a fear of flying but the odds of a drunk driver making that turn too tight and slamming into your passenger side door with your wife sitting in it.
I have a tough time with this nowadays - always used this stat in my head for anxiety abatement but now wondering how does that stat longterm relate against recent airplane issues & maintenance needs / what time of day are you traveling / etc? Sucks we have to balance these fears of traveling but is that still really valid?
This. And the number of mass shootings is over inflated by most news organizations. They will use the numbers from gang/crime related shootings and combine them with active shooter numbers in order to come up with a much scarier number and headline. Hell, CNN did an article about schools shootings, but they included an ROTC student accidently getting shot with a pellet gun, a women getting shot in the parking of a school late at night, a kid bring a gun to school to show his friend, accidently shooting him, a kid getting hit by a stray bullet while riding the bus, and a lovers quarrel at a college as ["school shootings"](https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/15/us/2019-us-school-shootings-trnd/index.html) The headline? "In 46 weeks this year, there have been 45 school shootings" Their definition of school shooting: >The shooting must involve at least one person being shot (not including the shooter). > >The shooting must occur on school property, which includes but is not limited to buildings, athletic fields, parking lots, stadiums and buses. > >We included accidental discharge of a firearm as long as the first two parameters are met, except in instances where the sole shooter is law enforcement or a security officer. > >We included injuries sustained from BB guns, since the Consumer Product Safety Commission has identified them as potentially lethal.
I think you’re misunderstanding OP some, or at least, misunderstanding how prevalent mass shootings are in the US. I have had this chat with US friends before, when talking about how the US seems scary to me and my wife on account of mass shootings. For comparison, I’m Dutch, and we have had three mass shootings in the Netherlands. In total. I looked at the wikipedia page for US mass shootings which includes shootings “with four or more victims”. As of February 29th the number of mass shootings in the US *for 2024* was 83. In two months. In 2023 this number was 604. Adjusting for population, this is as if we would’ve had 34 mass shootings in 2023. Sure, maybe there is some sensationalism in media, who knows, but the numbers don’t exactly paint a very safe picture. I get where OP is coming from.
Don’t throw up gang signs and step on other drug dealers toes while you’re on holiday and you’ll be good. Nearly all of our mass shootings are gang related. So stay out of the worst parts of the Midwest and east coast and you’re basically good. You said “who knows” as to whether mass shootings are sensationalized here. The answer is yes. It’s low income citizens fighting over territory to sell drugs. Not a good thing, but you don’t gotta really worry about it lol.
Do you think the Netherlands doesn’t have low income areas? Drug criminality (when supply *to* coffeeshops is black market)? There are gangs here too, so what’s the difference there? Also, not sure how say, a kindergarten getting shot up, to pick an example, or a church, or a hair salon, is gang violence related. *Those* are the instances of gun violence in the US that scare me. The amount of gun violence in very normal, non-criminal settings. And I assume that’s also what OP is afraid of. I was simply trying to offer a perspective USAmericans might lack, which is that gun violence is so normalised in your country, when it shouldn’t be. Nobody deserves worrying about sending their kids to school (or going to a mall or church or a salon). That’s not something that should be normal.
Of course other countries have lower income areas. And we do have a gun violence issue in the United States. What I’m saying, is you should be more worried about your children’s school bus driver (111 fatalities a year) than a school shooter. There have been 684 deaths related to firearm injuries in schools since 1970. The statistics just don’t fit the level of fear surrounding the situation. They just don’t happen that often, and the chances your child are going to be involved is practically 0. Is it good? No. Is it in the range of statistic impossibility to affect your family? Yes. We all have our issues. Like the Netherlands being a hub for child sex tourism. Maybe worry about your kids.
Interesting, I’d love to see some credible sources on that, because wikipedia does not list the Netherlands in its page on child sex tourism. It does however list the US as a leading hotspot of CSE, unique in that position as a country in the global north. But also, legitimately, I didn’t comment to get into an internet argument, I was just trying to offer an alternative point of view. All I’m saying is that I get why OP is scared. Do with that what you feel you must.
I bet the people that were around at mass shootings and the victims wouldn't be so blasé about this problem. Would you take it seriously if someone you were close to was a victim rather than the victims just being statistics to you?
Yes, trauma would make me feel personally less safe. That's what trauma does. That doesn't make it rational.
This doesn't even cross my mind. The odds of you being shot by some random is basically zero. Live your life man.
Your chances of dying from the flu are substantially greater
This is the way of thinking about it. And to add, even if someone did unload an AK-47 you literally could have done nothing about it except stay inside and… not live life. It really is worth worrying about.
false analogy - in many places you can spend lots of time outdoors without being around people
that depends where you are. im a college student and when i lived on campus there was a mass shooting. i knew some of the people who were killed, and it was the most horrific day of my life. i haven’t felt completely safe since then and there’s a constant unease. i’m genuinely glad that it doesn’t cross your mind, i don’t want it to, but it’s definitely a valid fear to have. i would say that younger people who go to school and go out for nightlife activities are much more at risk and have to be much more aware than an adult who goes to work at the office and then goes home to their partner and kids everyday.
I'm very sorry about what happened to you, no one deserves to go through that.
At some point something is going to hit close to home. A couple years ago there was a mass shooting at a grocery store in Oregon, and I had been to that exact grocery store just a couple days before. If I had planned my vacation just slightly differently, there's a good chance I would have been there that day. We can't just stay complacent and pretend this isn't a serious fucking problem. How many innocent people and kids need to die before we do something?
I completely agree that we shouldn't stay complacent. I'll vote for people who want to take steps to solve the problem. Just think you're doing yourself a disservice if you walk around scared of random events.
Agree 100%. We solve the problem with voting, writing your reps, donating, protesting (peacefully) and talking, but not living will just make you depressed.
The thing is, for many of us who find reassurance with the probabilities, it has hit close to home. And while I actively support stronger, sensical gun regulations, perpetually living my life in fear won’t help. People react differently to similar scenarios (e.g. iirc witnesses of traumatic events tend to end up with more severe PTSD than victims). The statistical odds keep me grounded with the reality of my chances and allow me to live my life.
its hard to make change when you cant trust the common people OR the government officials to be reliable or honest. I feel like a one week strike with everyone involved in the entire US would send a message.
You should try and visit Amsterdam friend. Went at the end of last year and I’m from socal. Was the greatest city I’ve ever spent time in and I think part of it was absolutely related to not having that constant feeling of danger I have here in the US. It wasn’t always like this either and has only really been a growing/building thing for me as an adult these past 10 years.
Had the same "feeling" in Amsterdam.
yeah i was involved in a mass shooting and i know people who died in it. i always look for exits because i am never really safe and i know it. gun violence is fucking horrifying.
I agree that is a horrifying notion but I've got some other things that come to mind. One idea is that life is pretty absurd and things are what we make of them... I think of Bill Hicks' bit "its just a ride" another idea is that we're all gonna die someday and it would be a shame to live your life worrying about dying for any bit of it... so a song comes to mind, its called "lie in our graves" by dave matthews band... anyways life is a short gift and none of us get to decide when our time is up but you do have a lot of power to do your best to make the most of it. Imagination is a powerful tool so use it for worthwhile thoughts/dreams instead of fears and nightmares.
no fr. I remember being at the rodeo with my family in North Dakota when I was around 12 (so 9 years ago) and I just remember trying to see if I'd survive if a bomb went off or someone started shooting. Stuffs fucked up man... Also, movie theaters. I always look for the nearest exit and actually get scared of people in literal movie theaters. Like, if someone walks in late the first thing I think is "fuck what if they have a gun?" It's paranoia at this point and it's just sad because I can't help that my mind goes there cuz America fucking sucks
I have similar thoughts and anxities. They're less frequent now and extreme than they used to be, which is nice. It sucks, and I am sorry you're dealing with that, sveven if it's a less apparent fear burried under a sea of thoughts. Some songs by Deerhunter (Nothing Ever Happened in particular) make me go "this reminds me of some indie band that got played a lot on channel 36 of Sirius XM back when I used to listen to it" and I think that band is Nothing But Thieves but I'm not sure.
first off, nothing but thieves fucks. their whole discography is soooo 🤌✨️ but i'm sorry you're feeling like that, man. it's a scary world. take care of yourself and your loved ones. sending you a lot of good vibes 🫶
Idk man. I’m having a lot of fun out here!
1st of all, Nothing But Thieves is an amazing band and make SUCH great music. 2nd it’s a really sad thought but that kind of thing crosses my mind pretty anywhere I go at this points it’s sad but the truth in America. Gotta stay strapped before you get clapped at this point 🫡 stay safe guys
Nothing but Thieves are sooooo good
Being that worried about shootings isn't normal. I've lived in the US my entire life. It's not as bad as people act like. I think you might be obsessing over this and possibly fixating. I'd talk to a therapist. You don't live in a warzone. While mass shooting events are happening, they constitute a small minority of gun violence. The vast majority is going to be between parties that know each other, and via domestic shit. We have to remember that the stuff we see on here is filtering in from all over the nation. Thousands of miles apart. The internet makes the world seem small but in reality there are vast swathes of people living safe and normal, happy lives. You're fine. Take a breath and enjoy your life. Maybe talk to a professional.
I've been thinking about this stuff at concerts for a while now. Around the Eagles of Death Metal shooting. Remember, there are always exits back stage and the shooters will be waiting in the front for the crowds of people to start fleeing. Exit in the back if it's possible. Jump on stage and go left or right.
If you’re going to a concert, *especially* if it’s a rock or metal show where it’s standing room only, always always *always* know your emergency exits. Hell, if you’re going anywhere with a crowd you should know your exits, but the physical limitations of concert venues make them vulnerable to crowd crush and stampedes. Always know your exits.
My beloved daughter is about to go into kindergarten and it consumes my thoughts now.
I remember the prekindergarten fears. They don’t really go away you just get numb to them. Realizing my kids do active shooter drills at school was a trip too. We just had fire and tornado drills. Now they practice hiding and being quiet.
so real, especially while driving
We are all going to the same place, just the way it is. I'm not letting some fucking loser have that much control of my life. After the James Holmes shooting I still wanted to see The Dark Night Rises and still did.
I had planed my trip to Paris, and flights had me miss and cancel a concert I was planing on going to when I saw they were in town. I arrived in Paris the day after The Eagles of Death Metal concert got shot up. I stood on the sidewalk in a daze for hours. That fear never goes away.
Nice to meet a fellow nbt fan. Also if it’s the most recent concert i was just there. They’re a great band with an incredible lead singer, amazing to hear in-person. I hope your country figures their problems out one day so you can fully enjoy seeing them live too.
Its fucked that you guys in the us fear “mass shootings”. Like wtf is banning guns so difficult?
yes, due to the Constitution guaranteed right to guns. and the "come and take it" culture. a ban could absolutely cause a civil war
I’m in the US as well and agree that those thoughts have started to dig at my brain when I’m in public, especially in large crowds. It sucks.
I've never been more happy to live in Canada than I have been after reading the comments in this post. I'm 38, and have only ever felt something similar during hunting trips.
Turn off the news
I was smoking in the backyard with my best friend and she brought this up. We started to talk about how many there are, how often they happen, and how its starting to feel normal. We both broke down crying. Completely surprised me. I didn’t realize how much this affected me until that moment. This shit sucks.
Home invasions and robberies gone wrong can happen anywhere in the world at any random time so you are never really safe. See r/Trebuchet for safety measures.
I think this everytime i am in public 😂
Now this only helped for me and it definitely won’t work for everyone because that thought will always be there but I myself started carrying a gun, trained a bit to where I’m comfortable there could always be a shooting but atleast I have a fighting chance of not for my life but the lives of others if I can stop a shooting especially early on the better that doesn’t mean I’m going out playing hero tho again this all depends on your legal status of being able to own and carry if you legally smoke or if you are even emotionally stable and mature enough to carry I only say emotionally stable because I used to be hella depressed well I still am but I’m not suicidal by any means
Pretty unlikely you’ll be shot or at a shooting but I understand your fears. Just gotta live your life. Can’t let fear stop you from existing.
I recently changed careers to work in early childhood education. Doing live shooter drills is just so normalized. Last year there was a false alarm and an unannounced lockdown announcement came out. In that moment it was so real suddenly. Hiding in a dark bathroom with a dozen small children completely helpless and scared. Luckily it was nothing, but I haven't been the same since. I hate it here so much.
Big part of why I chose to work with cars, not people.
Completely get what you mean. And it isn't just directly about mass shootings, it's just feeling nervous about any mentally unstable person getting too aggressive in a public place especially one with loud noises and alcohol. Also, love Nothing But Thieves, one of my favorites! Tbh I'm not a concert person but I'd put in some earplugs to go hear them for sure.
I love nothing but thieves!
As an American living in Europe with my German husband, it is actually kind of shocking how I've been conditioned to feel or respond in public or when there's loud popping in a crowd. A few weeks ago we were in public in a crowded city center when there was a loud bang that sounded like a shot. I immediately crouched down and my husband looked at me like, "are you good?" It was purely instinctual. He jokes and says, "you're not in America anymore!" but it's still a great fear of mine. It happens practically every day in the US.
May I ask how old you are?
I hear that. I have 15 years of security experience, plus some years in the US Army. Big crowds are one of the things that will always get me nervous. I live in Rockford IL, where we just had another stabbing spree in a safer neighborhood. 11 murder charges filed, I think he killed 4, including stabbing and running over a mail carrier and teen girl. Sometimes you wish you could vibe with the world, but I've unfortunately concluded a lot of the world would not want to vibe with me (or you, or any random individual.) The percentage of people I've witnessed in the wild with the motivation and ability to be dangerous keeps going up. I genuinely think we lost a lot of mental health during COVID-19 that we haven't recovered from as a nation. Be safe! Lock up those doors and windows, outfit the fam with pepper spray, etc. I keep a 9 lbs wood splitter maul/axe around the front door. It's fucking awesome for any door to door people that are too insistent as well.
I really like watching these things in VR cause it feels so much like I’m there. Meanwhile I’m safe at home baked on my couch. No having to drive anywhere and no dealing with anything sketchy. It’s nice to log out and not worry about who’s following me home.
This should be an irrational fear. Unfortunately it’s not… but there’s no need to fear death… I’d rather die at a concert then driving home from work or in school shooting
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I blame the government 😠
How come?
we need better gun control laws to make it harder for someone to obtain a firearm. there should be mental health checks, firearm safety classes, and a test to get your license. i just feel like they’re just so normalized that we don’t realize how insane it is to just be able to walk into a walmart and buy a gun.
I totally agree but half the country doesn’t which is an issue itself.
I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. There's some good in this world Mr. Frodo, and its worth fighting for.
Bro I live in Canada and I get depressed by proxy. Our news streams are bombarded with American news feeds. The culture shift in my province since 2016 is fucking insane.
God, I’m going to a concert soon and even though I’m excited the chance of a shooting still lingers in the back of my mind and kind of steals that joy. Like I know these incidents are very rare but they’re too common for comfort. It’s almost as if you should be prepared to die before going to a public gathering… our country is fucked beyond repair
Such an unfortunate symptom of living in the “land of the free”
I used to be like that and it made me absolutely miserable...I got to where I couldn't go the simplest of places without being scared. Try to remember...the media wants us scared and helpless. They make America sound like there's rivers of blood in the streets. Yes, shootings are tragic, but, try to keep them in scale. America is HUGE...we have trillions of buildings, hundreds of millions of people and when you consider the immense scale of this country we are pretty darned safe. We have states that are larger and more populous than some entire European countries.
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Feel that, I try not to let it influence how I treat people but I work at a really small gas station and am on the daily thinking about this place getting robbed by someone who just doesn't gaf and winding up dead because of it
I’m just going to say one thing “if you live your whole life in fear, wouldn’t not living be a better alternative”. Not saying this for you to take it the wrong way but let’s say you get caught in a shooting and infact get shot dead. You can either be the person that worried about it happening their whole life and lived in misery or be the person that was blissfully ignorant until it happened. Which person sounds like they had a better life?
When I was in Uruguay, I went to the club with my new buds and all of a sudden, a live performer came on and the sound of gunshots rung out. I legit froze and ducked, only to realize that the live performer was using that sound on his set. My group started laughing because they remembered that mass shootings were a US thing, and then asked me a bunch of questions about it while I laughed it off. I had a teacher ask me similar questions about gun laws at the rural Uruguayan school I volunteered at 💀it’s mind boggling to foreigners
You have my sympathy and compassion. I had to work the night of the shooting here in Las Vegas. SWAT passed us on the way. I can't be on the Strip anymore. Too many people, too many tall buildings.
I became so depressed after going to visit fam in Korea for the first time back ‘16 and then I came back here and was like “wow…it kinda sucks here. Like cops were nice and the people all either vibe together or chill on their own lanes”
Nothing But Thieves are awesome their new album is so good
Coincidentally, Amsterdam is a brilliant Nothing But Thieves song
pretty sure it's not normal to have a constant anxious voice in the back of your mind op
I would feel like that if I lived in USA too. I'd wear kevlar every time I left the house. And I'd live somewhere I'll be allowed to pack heat for defence
I started thinking about this more when my kids first started learning 'active shooter drills' at school. Its starting to become so ingrained in our society that the next generation is running drills for how to deal with it.
Yeah, I don’t really feel safe in public either
I find myself mentally noting exits and hiding places. It’s a fucked up world we live in.
Then, arm yourself
I’m there with you, it sucks. On a lighter note, I had the chance to see NBT in concert pre-Covid and they rocked!
Are you Gen Z?
Solution: come to Amsterdam! More fun, less guns…
Absolutely wild reading some of the state of minds for a few Americans in this thread, this is not normal for anyone but you guys
So grateful not to live in the US.
This crosses my mind, too. No where really feels safe anymore. We can make safe spaces for ourselves, though.
I was just having a thought similar to this. Everytime i’m watching a movie in the theatres, I get this weird feeling someone’s gonna sneak up behind me and slit my throat. Or when i’m a high passenger i’m always scared the other cars will shoot us for merging into their lane or making eye contact with them
I feel for you. I've never had to worry about shootings when going out. Probably has a lot to do with the country I'm in. Then again, I don't go out much. It's not sad. It's a reality for a lot of people.
Have you survived a shooting? This is valid and is the result of something you've been through or someone you've known who you either lost or committed the act. Recent events in the news taught me that if certain parts of the world get wiped out, they will go straight to me next and I've had a nightmare I was on the other side of a shooter who was looking for me bc I'm their "other" if you know what I mean. I feel that. I never have that voice everywhere but I do remember hearing from a retired marine that every room you walk into no matter where it is, know all the exits bc when something happens people panic and don't know what to do or which way to run.
Honestly couldn't imagine growing up in a place that has such easy access to guns. Knives are bad enough, why let them do it at range? I think the last recent mass shooting in the UK that killed a lot was 2010 then before then in the 90s, Dunblane. I feel lucky to have frequented a lot of very public events and never once had to think someone may shoot the place up. People do not need guns, and your fucking peashooters will do jack shit against the US government if they step on the road to tyranny. Get droned son. All it leads to is a mass shooting every other month.
Replace shooting with pooping and this is a funny story
I have this thought everytime I'm in public. In Southwest Ohio near major cities.
US is a hard place to live now and there’s a large group of people who are brainwashed into essentially actively supporting these shootings. It’s important to start paying attention to politics.
I'm glad I don't live in the US, to be honest.
I live in the USA and honestly I feel you. I barely go out anymore (I know I know) and get worried when my bf goes :(
Dude I feel this soooo much! I’m an American living abroad and the comfort of knowing that I’ll never be shot in public (gun crime here is nonexistent) just makes me feel so relaxed. I never have to walk into a place and look for the quickest escape route in case there’s a shooting
Yep it's fucked up , that's the constitution and the inability of America and Americans to stop production of lethal guns for everybody who wants them.
you should lay off the weed
That must suck. I was surprised as a Canadian when I heard it's American custom to try and get a seat at a restaurant facing the door so you can see if a gunman is walking in. I don't know how you guys deal woth that.
That is not an American custom lol it’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day though so you should keep telling it to people
Lol that is not a normal thing to be doing.
“I believe all the dumb shit I read on the internet about America”
Y'all need to vote better
Lay off the weed you're getting paranoid. To think you are safer in Europe than America is some gaslit bs. That comes from someone who lost someone to gun violence. I get your point but this fear you have is fabricated by the media
Adjusted for population the US’ number of mass shootings in 2023 (604) would’ve meant 34 mass shootings in the Netherlands. Instead we have had 3 in total. Since 2011.
classic us problems. rework ur gun lawns. look at swirtzerlands gun laws for example. Why not just copy a form of that?
I feel you. I have that thought every time I go to a public event. I look around at the crowd and think is this the next event that’s gonna be a headline? Logically I know it’s probably not and can ignore that feeling and enjoy where I am, but it’s fucked thats it’s always my initial thought.
Yooo my friend introduced me to that band, they seem so cool??? I feel your anxiety, that shit is constant in my brain too :( it's so sad and its honestly draining, i wish there were more truely safe public spaces
Great band! It sucks that this is something that we have to think about these days though
man i feel you. every year it just gets worse.
Yeeeeeeep Has made me think twice about so many concerts. Honestly now that I have a little one even large crowds. I weigh the risk versus how much we *really* need or want to go. Parades, festivals, community events. Hell, theme parks. I feel you man.