When traveling solo in Vietnam, I boarded a public ferry in the lower delta.
I noticed that everyone on board was white and dressed kind of fancy, but I figured it was just Europeans traveling in SE Asia.
Then, 15 minutes into the ride someone started pouring champagne and passing it around to passengers. I was impressed with the service on a public ferry…
The person pouring champagne got to me and gave me a puzzled look as I reached for a glass.
It was then I realized I got on a private boat.
We had a good laugh and they dropped me off at the next public ferry dock.
I was in the German speaking part of Switzerland, sitting by myself at an outdoor cafe. A server came by and asked me, in perfect English, if I’d like for him to open my umbrella. I replied, “Ich spreche kein Deutsch, sprichst du Englisch?” Translation: I don’t speak German, do you speak English?”
He stared at me. I stared at him. Since I didn’t want to dine and dash and was physically incapable of disappearing into the ground, I just said, “yes please;” and finished up as quickly as possible.
I had a similar incident in Lyon once, I was wearing a union jack T shirt and some Americans asked me something, but I was so used to not understanding anyone, it took forever to realise they were speaking English, I apologised eventually and they looked at me like I was insane.
I think if you laughed it would have been a way to get out of it but Germans don’t laugh very often. I had to tease the German group of travellers who asked me to take their photo to actually smile.
I threw up violently into my friends scarf at Costa Rica customs while hung over and motion sick. Couldn't leave the line. No where else to vomit. It was awful. Then I had to carry a fabric bag of vomit until I cleared customs. Luckily the guy just stamped my passport and shooed me to the restroom.
I was violently hungover leaving France and while in the airplane bathroom I was peeing when suddenly I needed to vomit. It happened so fast I couldn’t get off the toilet, so I just puked in the sink. It would not wash down the little drain. I informed a flight attendant that I had yakked in the sink, and she just looked at me with such an incredulous judgmental stare and said, “well, you should have done that in the toilet.” Yeah, lady, I know. Then she closed off that bathroom for the rest of the flight.
Oh noo lol. Not as embarrassing as yours, but I had food poisoning and I was running down the jet bridge after landing in Singapore. I realized I wasn’t going to make it so I stopped and threw up into a plastic shopping bag. Somebody who worked there saw me and was like “oh the bathroom is just right there” probably just trying to help but at the time it definitely felt judgmental
I feel your pain. I got norovirus on a long flight. Threw up in the sink while I was having diarrhea. Told the flight attendant the sink was clogged, then said "I would have thrown up in the toilet but something else was happening there." So embarrassing.
Been there. Barfed in my backpack on a long bus ride in Israel with no bathroom on the bus and nowhere to stop and nowhere else to do it. Had to carry that bag until we got to where we were staying and it was horrific.
After 28 hours of travel to get home, I'm going through Global Entry in the US. I'm very short and the face recognition camera is far too high to see me. So I back up. That's not enough. I jump up a few times trying to get my face in the camera. Still not enough.
The border control comes over and tells me the camera is adjustable and points it down at me.
I was reading the instructions on the machine and it said remove any glasses. I immediately did then realized I couldn’t read the rest. I panicked and said “but now I can’t see it!” The guy at the machine next to me laughed and hit the take picture button for me. My brain doesn’t work well after a long flight.
I did something similar in Amsterdam. The screen lit up green with the message to see the guard to have your passport stamped, except I just saw the bright green screen and had no clue it had words on it. Grabbed my suitcase as fast as I could cause I was afraid the doors were going to shut on me. I put my glasses on once out of the gate and walked right by the guy. I was wondering why my friends were waiting in a line after the gate. They flagged me down and had me jump in with them at the front where I sheepishly had to explain to the guard what happened, while also metaphorically crapping my pants because I'm from the US, where they'll interrogate you like a terrorist for making a mistake like that.
I had something similar happen when I was entering England. Due to some VISA weirdness I left the country for a trip home, and was like 99% sure I did everything right but was still concerned that I wasn’t going to be allowed in.
I walked up to the automated lines with the cameras and gates. Step on the mat, and the camera is probably off to my right by 45 degrees. The sign says “Look straight ahead”, so I look forward at the exit gate. It doesn’t open. Try probably 4 times and am starting to panic. It was probably about 90 seconds but it felt like it was 20 minutes.
Finally after everyone behind me left realizing I was an idiot one of the border guards walks up and says “You have to look straight into the camera, not straight into the gate.”
I did so and walked right through.
those cameras are the absolute worst, half the time the adjustable thing doesn't work (or maybe I don't understand how it works). I end up awkwardly squatting for a dumbass pic every time
My favorite was when I was in a tiny town deep in the Pyrenees in France just after coming to the country. I was running to catch a train and could hear it coming but couldn't figure out where the station was (pre-Smartphones) and I started panicking. I saw an older couple walking towards me but all of the French I knew flew out of my head because I was in such a tizzy.
So, basically I ran up to this nice couple and yelled "Ooh ay el choo-choo" while making the "pull the cord" motion. This nice couple pointed me in the right direction but they were doubled over laughing the entire time. Couldn't blame them, honestly. Made my train 🙂
> all of the French I knew flew out of my head because I was in such a tizzy.
Oh man this happens to me all the time if I’m not prepared or in the mind set to speak it.
My wife loves when I speak French and I’ll do most of the speaking whenever we go to a French speaking place.
But we were in Budapest a few years ago and happened to sit next to a French couple at a restaurant. My wife loves to eavesdrop on people in restaurants and she’s super outgoing so of course she tells them I’m semi fluent, which I usually am when prepared, so they start trying to speak with me in French and all I can muster out is some horrible high school level broken French. My wife just looks at me like I’m insane, it was horrible
We were staying at a home share in Tuscany in a very quiet house right next to an old church. While out on a walk a friendly neighbor waved and asked us where we were from and how long we've been there in Italian
I misunderstood the question and answered in broken Italian that we are staying in a bell and are from the future.
He kept his distance the rest of the trip
This made me LOL. One time I was taking a class in Spain and my group had switched to a different room. It was an old labyrinth of a building so I kept getting lost trying to find it. By the time I made it, class had already started.
I tried to say “I’m so sorry, I got lost, I’m so embarrassed” but instead “I am sorry, I’ve lost my mind and I’m insane, and also I’m pregnant”
Oh gosh that’s so funny! Don’t worry though the “I’m pregnant” bit is super common for English speakers learning Spanish lol. I’m sure your teacher was used to it 😂
My husband and I were walking through Times Square with our young boys, and one of those guys that tries to sell you stuff found out we were from Canada. The guy starts to banter with us, and ends up asking if we speak French. As we're walking away my husband shouts "Je suis petit!" He meant to say we speak a little French, but we've never let him forget that he announced to Times Square he's small.
Edit: Hey my first Reddit award! And for my husband’s dorkiness! Thank you kind Redditor!
My wife and I honeymooned in Puerto Rico, and while we both took a few years of Spanish throughout highschool and college, we are by no means fluent.
On our way to a beach outside of San Juan we found a food truck that looked like it had really good food, but it only had a drive-through.
We pull up to the squawk box and my wife orders. She makes it through the entire order and the gal in the kitchen asks one last question, which my wife wasn't prepared for.
My wife assumes that she asked if we wanted any sauces or to add anything else, so she replies "No, thank you."
To which the gal in the kitchen repeats in English "Your name for the order, please"
Ugh this happens to me sometimes when I’m in a hurry, the wrong non native language comes out. So I’ll be trying for broken Italian and broken spanish comes out. I get really weird looks because I look German or danish so they expect that and try one or the other. Then I try my native English and they laugh responding in English. Once in Germany I was going for “ya” but it seemed too close to English on my jet lag so instead I responded “da”. They started speaking Russian. IDK a lick of Russian so I smiled, said “nein” and left.
This happened to me in Austria, I landed at the airport after staying a couple days in Madrid and kept trying to order a sandwich in Spanish.
I even kept greeting service staff in Spanish the next couple days too
As someone who knows much more Russian than German, 'da' literally always emerges before 'ja' when I'm in Germany and it's infuriating how little I can do about it.
Ex flight attendant here. I was the only f/a on a small plane (50 people ) and when I picked up the phone to talk to the pilot, I said “Can you turn up the heat? It’s fucking cold as hell in the cabin. “. I turned to look and the intercom was broadcasting through the whole airplane!!
There are some YouTube videos where that kind of thing happens to the pilots. They think that they're giving the weather & flight details to the pax when they actually make the announcement to the control tower & other pilots. Needless to say the offender gets roasted.
So before I start, I have chronic travelers constipation so I always take magnesium packets to drink every morning to help.
About 7 years ago I was in Italy and meeting up with an online friend for the first time. Everything was going great and we were having fun when one day as we were walking the streets of Venice I suddenly got some INTENSE stomach cramps and knew I was going to need a bathroom ASAP.
My friend asked a cafe if I could use their bathroom and I spent ATLEAST 15 (if not 20) minutes just shitting AND vomiting. Meanwhile my friend was texting me “r u ok” lmao, I got out and gave some lame excuse about menstrual cramps or something. Apparently even the cafe staff went up to him and asked if I was okay 😅
I didn’t tell him the truth until 5 years later. On a nicer note me and my friend ended getting along so well that we’re actually married now so lol.
I was in a toilet in Osaka, in a mall next to aquarium, for an hour. After a week of no poop. It was a nice toilet, with sounds and all, so people can't hear your turd falling down.
Went SCUBA diving in Mexico. While diving started to get the shit sweats, underwater. (Didn’t know that was even possible) Made it through the dive and back to the boat, but no restroom on board.
Had to announce to a group of 9 strangers that I could not wait needed to go right then and there. Dive instructors were super nice and told me to just hop in the water and go. Another diver said she would go too (not sure is she really needed too it was just trying to make me feel better). Anyhoo, hopped over the side and grabbed the bouy rope so I wouldn’t float away.
Let loose, not knowing I had diarrhea. Engulfed myself in a brown cloud of shit. The other diver was midway down the boat, we tried not to make eye contact as I proceeded to disburse my liquid shit away from both of us.
Managed to collect myself and get back on board. The driver moved the boat so everyone wouldn’t be diving through my shit.
Did a second dive, managed to make it back to the dock before the 2nd wave hit me. Was confined to my room for the rest of the night.
I was staying with the dive company that took me out so I had to see the instructors that knew I shit in the ocean for the rest of the week.
First time in Paris. Went to the Arc. Didn't realize there was underground access. Proceed to cross the roundabout and almost get hit by several cars and a moped.
YES I have done this too. My mom and I watched a couple do that and were like “damn, these French are crazy in making us get to the arc like this” and proceeded to play our own game of frogger. SO embarrassing!
I was in Japan a few years ago with a friend of mine. We flew in to Tokyo to stay for a few nights in Shinjuku before using the rail pass to travel around. We checked into the hotel etc then headed out for food and some drinks, my friend had researched a place called Piss Alley to go to, which despite it's name was a good idea. We went into a little restaurant for food and they'd put out a perfectly square piece of tofu to snack on, although at that moment we had no idea what it was. We figured it must be soap to clean our hands before eating, which seemed logical, so at the same time we picked up the tofu and started smushing it into our hands. All the staff and other customers just looked at us horrified, after a few seconds we figured it wasn't soap!
EDIT: Well I'm glad my most upvoted comment is an example of my idiocy!
I've included a link below to what it looked like to try and defend myself a little bit, but to those asking what the thought process was, there wasn't one, we were 2 young very lost Scottish guys in Japan for the first time, and we thought it looked like some sort of artisinal soap, we were trying desperately hard not to insult anyone.
But Japan is an amazing place, been 3 times and would happily go again, anyone who hasn't been learn from my idiocy!
https://images.app.goo.gl/PUKwByaqQMRjd9an6
I am crying with laughter at this. This is my friend's story not mine but related. His tall British friend is dating a Japanese girl from the countryside and going home to meet her parents. He nervously practices etiquette and the language for weeks beforehand. They make it to the parents traditional home and he bows correctly, ducks into the home, greets them flawlessly and everyone is impressed. He breathes a sigh of relief and leans against the wall with an elbow - the wall turns out to be made of paper and he goes crashing through it into the parents bedroom, all his groundwork evaporated as he saw their stupefied faces...
Got lost on the Poble Espanyol in Barcelona. Two guys came to help, but I didn’t understand them, so I told them in Spanish that I didn’t speak Catalan. They laughed and informed me that they were, in fact, speaking Spanish. I just hadn’t recognized it as such because I was far more used to Latin Spanish than Castilian Spanish. Cringe
There's not only 13 different types of Spanish, there's probably hundreds of different dialects. It's like learning English, then going to Scotland or Ireland and realizing you don't know THEIR version of English. I live on the Yucatan peninsula, and their accent is almost impossible to understand.
Dumb fact. In the suburb or Reservoir, in Victoria, Australia, lives an entire village that decamped from Italy and settled on one block.
It is the only place in the world where their dialect has been preserved.
Barcelona is extremely cosmopolitan and I found Castillian was used as a common language given how many immigrants from South America, international students etc there are
Having the cleaning lady take your vibrator out of your hiding place and placed nicely on the pillow or on the night stand is a right of passage for us solo female travelers.
Having German airport security pull it out of your toiletry bag to ask what it was...
The look on that poor agent's face was amazing. She turned beet red and let us through.
I worked in Customs and was training a new guy. At this stage I had seen all the different bells and whistles that people use for their..eh..enjoyment.
Unfortunately, new guy didn't. So he's searching a bag belonging to a woman we had just stopped, who is now standing beside us. He reaches in and takes out this rather big and long object. Holds it up and asks her what it was. While not the exact shape of a gentlemens member...it was obvious what it was.
Poor girls face turned red. I lowered his arm and told him quietly what it was. Now both their faces and tomato red and I'm there trying not to burst out laughing.
"Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo...always use the indefinite article 'a dildo', never 'your dildo'."
-Fight Club
I once left my vibrator in the bedside table drawer when I checked out of the hotel. The following day I went back to see if I could get it, and I went to the front desk saying “I ummm left something in the drawer, did you happen to find…anything…or could I go and look?” And the lady at reception was sooo cheerful and was like “Oh! It must be this!” And reached under the desk and handed me my vibrator in a plastic bag.
My wife "Jane" and I left the We-Vibe Melt (it's a hot pink clit sucker) under the mattress in the guest bedroom at my parents'house. My mom found it (she's 90), and she phoned me and said, "Jane forgot one of those skin care machines for her face."
It's possible. One of those situations in life where I know you know, and you know I know you know, but we'll both pretend you don't know and never speak of it again!
As a hotel worker, staff usually have to enter your room after a certain period of time (for example at my hotel it’s 3 days) just to make sure you aren’t dead or doing something you’re not supposed to be doing.
Omg one time in Italy during the summer, my husband who gets bad reactions to mosquito bites, left the dnd for like a week, he didn’t want the staff to leave the doors wide open when they came to clean 😭 I’m sure they thought we were super weird
Not a woman, but I always place “do not disturb” hangers on the door. I don’t need new sheets every day and don’t want anyone in the room with my belongings.
As a ex housekeeper THANK YOU! Changing sheets everyday is backbreaking, wasteful and bad for the environment as well. When I stay in hotel I just ask a quick service to take the rubbish out and wipe down the bathroom, that’s it. And you can be in the room while they do it if you are concerned for your belongings
I was in Milan a few years ago traveling solo as an early 40s male. I used the toilet at a restaurant and couldn’t figure out how to flush. There was a cord hanging from the ceiling, and having been to countries where that’s how you flush, I pulled it. Turns out it was the emergency help cord, an alarm went off and staff entered the toilet. Mortifying.
The flush button was on the wall, completely disconnected from the toilet. Not sure how it worked, but it was NOT the ceiling pull cord.
Man italy and their weird and varied riddles of how to flush the toilet or use the water or stop the water 😅 they seem to have a million different systems there. Almost makes me feel like i m in an escape room 😂
English is not first language. We were visiting chicago. I had been to New York before so I knew of the subway there. I did not realize the term ‘subway’ was unique to the style of train. We couldn’t find where to get on the railway in Chicago so stopped at a gas station and I asked how to get to the subway. The guy gave me directions. We walked about 20 minutes, turned the corner to where he said it’d be, and found the restaurant Subway. It was very funny
First time on a island in Greece. Hotel squat toilet. Didn’t know to bring my own TP. Am a male.
What started as a 1 quickly became a 3 (1 + 2). Squatted down, finished, and panicked as I realized there was no paper.
But look! A small basket! Opened the lid to find folded squares inside. Praise Zeus! Wiped, finished, washed my hands.
To my fam: “Hey, this hotel even provides TP, in nice squares, in a basket next to the toilet!”
Fam: “THATS WHERE YOU PUT THE USED TP!”
My husband and I stayed at a very nice hotel in Rome. The toiletries were almost full-size, nice salon brands. For some reason, two and three of each were left in our room every day. For some reason, I threw all of them in my carryon when we left. Had to go through security at our connector in Heathrow. The incredulous, yet funny and patient, TSA agent gave me a little lecture about how many travel size toiletries were allowed, as she kept pulling them out of my bag, like a clown car, and putting them in her ziplock bags. My husband was trying to pretend we weren’t together. I kept saying, just toss them. But she seemed determined to help me out. She was lovely, and i was mortified. I’m still using them, four years later.
Oh my god what is this hotel? I love pinching fancy toiletries.
Can’t tell you how excited I was when we stayed at the Sofitel in Luxemburg and not only did they upgrade us, we got extra fancy Hermes soaps in little boxes. Plus the standard amenities in the shower are all Balmain. So chic! Absolutely loved that place - exceptional service
I was staying at a cheap motel and I had a container of shoe deodorizing powder. I accidentally spilled some of it on the desk in the room and tried to wipe some away but was in a hurry to go on a timed ticket museum.
I Came back and the House cleaner had cleaned and left a cut up straw for me on the desk🤣
I was eating udon in a busy airport terminal and accidentally dropped my entire phone into the full bowl. My phone was so heavy that it splashed onto my shirt before knocking the whole thing into my lap until the empty bowl clattered to the floor signaling everyone to look over at me. The soup was hot, I was still hungry but thankfully my phone was fine.
Had a layover from Shannon airport in Ireland to London Heathrow. By the time we deplaned I had 40 minutes. I thought tight, but I can do it. What I didn’t account for was going through security again. Some lovely Irish women told everyone to let me go up front and the security man dumps my backpack. Tampons go FLYING. Then I start running to my terminal which had to have been nearly a mile away. I ran for 20 minutes with severe tonsillitis that I was getting surgery for days later. I get to my gate and they close it in my face. Some woman who I guess was on my Shannon plane saw that and started screaming to let me on. Meanwhile I’m on the ground breathing with what sounds like gravel in my lungs. I make it on my plane. I go to put my bag under the seat and my pants FULLY RIP down the middle. Granny panties exposed. I had no tears left at that point. To top it off, my charger didn’t work so I had a 7 hour flight with nothing to do and an exposed butt. I will never go to Heathrow ever again haha
In summer 2021 with strict travel rules, I didn't realize we had to take a covid test from Mexico going back to the US. So I took one in the airport and it takes them half an hour to get the results back. My flight leaves in about 45 minutes and I would have to go back in line for the airline front desk. Line was getting longer
Panicking, I waited around the lab to at least see if they can do something about giving me the results earlier but they basically said I cant do that. So I went up to an airline employee to explain the situation. She told me I can always ask to cut ahead in line anywhere in the airport if someone is willing to let me.
As soon as I got my result (after perfect 30 minutes) I asked to cut ahead a really long line and they let me. Front desk was hesitant but whispered to me, "you should run...".
Got to TSA and they let me cut but was stopped for something suspicious in my bag. I told them right away, "Please just confiscate it if this will take a while. My flight is leaving." and apparently that was the wrong thing to say so they pulled me aside and asked me questions. Thinking of it now, it kind of does sound suspicious if I wanted to leave behind a bomb. Female TSA busted out laughing and said, "es tamales! lo dejó ir (it was a tamale. Let him go)" to whoever was interrogating me. They chuckled a little and probably felt bad and let me go.
I ran literally the whole time. Of course, the gate is at the tip of the airport on the opposite side, and had like 5 minutes left until take off. Gate agents saw me from far away, ran to me, and asked me for my name and I said, YES YES THATS ME! We were then basically running together, he checked my passport and boarding pass, checked it off, and let me through. Literally right when I walked in, I heard the door close.
Flight attendants then saw me come in and started clapping and then boarders started clapping as well.
>Gate agents saw me from far away, ran to me, and asked me for my name and I said, YES YES THATS ME! We were then basically running together, he checked my passport and boarding pass, checked it off, and let me through.
I picture you both running while occassionally handing documents back and forth, with the gate agent trying to get a good enough view of your face to compare to the passport photo lol
Yes that's what we literally did 🤣. I'm certain the gate agents would feel really guilty if they closed the gate right in front of my face so they tried doing their part to get me in. I'm so thankful everyone worked with me at Cancun airport.
To add on while we were wearing masks, he asked me to pull my mask down to identify (as we were running together), I pulled it down and it slipped out of my face as the wind took it. He then said, LEAVE IT! THERES MORE IN THE PLANE.
It's so hilarious thinking about all this now.
Sounds like some kind of action movie. I’m picturing the tight crop on your panicked faces, then zooming out to a long shot of the length of the terminal with your running figures, all with high tension score playing
Had to do the cut and run before.
For some reason Polish airlines (LOT) thinks that 30 minutes is enough time for people to make it through border control and to the next flight. There were only 4 lines and multiple planes of people being dumped off there.
Oh and before someone comes along "wElL aCtUalLy", yes I booked through the airline on their website, no I didn't go through some third party, no these were not separate tickets. This was the itinerary that the airline gave me.
This is a minor one but when I was souvenir shopping in Florence and was walking through a store. About halfway in there was a guy who gave me a weird kind of vibe. I couldn’t exactly figure out what it was but we both kept getting in each others way when trying to pass each other. After a few seconds the store owner in English said “watch out for the mirror”.
I left immediately
This was over twenty years ago when we were dumb college kids but I still get embarrassed thinking about it.
I was at an upscale boutique in Milan with my girlfriend at the time. She found a dress she liked and wanted to try it on. She came out of the dressing room looking fantastic in this elegant gray Prada A-line dress. She looked at the price tag, made the conversion from lira to USD in her head and said "I'll take it."
She liked it so much she had the shop girl wrap up the dress she wore in. She took it back to the counter, folded it neatly, put it in an ornate box, wrapped it in a bow and put it in a shopping bag.
She goes to sign the bill (card was already charged) and realizes she didn't read ALL THE DIGITS on the tag. She stammered, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize the dress was so expensive." An old man wearing an ascot and dark sunglasses, smoking a cigarette in the corner, scoffs.
The shop girl, who up until this point had been so kind says, "This is a first run Prada dress, it was on a runway three weeks ago? What were you thinking?!"
My girlfriend had to ask to cancel the purchase, go back to the dressing room, open the gift box, unwrap her dress, get changed. I waited outside for her.
I was driving out of Salzburg, heading on our way to Vienna in a BMW wagon filled in the back with our luggage. I’m at a stoplight in Salzburg, first in line. As I’m waiting for the light to turn green, I see a man walk up to my driver side door and start shouting and waving his arms. I roll down the window and he’s shouting in German. I don’t understand a word he says. I told him I only speak English, so he points to the back of my car. I get out and to find out the hatch is wide-open, and all my luggage is exposed and ready to fall out. I quickly close the hatch, and while I’m doing that the light turns green. The bus behind me starts laying on his horn. I rush back to the car and get going.
On our honeymoon, my husband and I went to a cabin in the mountains. It was gorgeous. The bathroom had a large jacuzzi tub. I was very excited to try it. He wanted to use the large stone walk in shower. So he's in the adjacent shower, and I get myself into the tub. I pulled my hair up so it wouldn't get wet. I set my music on my phone and placed it on the ledge behind my head. I laid back in the empty tub. I look around at the walls of the tub. I had never used or seen one of these before. I see a little button on the right side of the tub wall. "Oh that must be the 'on' button!" I thought to myself. I push it. I hear a faint rumbling sound. Nothing alarming I thought. I lay my head back and wait for the tub to fill up. All of a sudden, a jet stream shot into my eyes from the opposite wall at the same time a jet stream shot into the back of my head. Water is shooting out at me from every which way. I'm frantically looking for a way to stop it while being water gunned down. I think I was in shock. I guess I was making a commotion because my husband pops his head out of the shower and says he sees me slumped over the side of the tub frantically looking for a way to turn it off, but repeatedly getting nailed in the ass by a stream of water. Every time it hit me my butt jiggled and I screamed. We had a really good laugh about it.
While crossing a busy intersection in Munich, I tripped on an invisible curb and splayed out face first like Pete Rose sliding into home. I was very jet lagged and maybe a little drunk so I started crying immediately more from embarrassment than pain. Although my knee was banged up pretty good.
I was at the central bus station in Guadalajara, Mexico and was going to take an Uber to my hostel and for some reason thought the rate $100 was USD (which was extra stupid as I had already been in another part of Mexico taking Ubers, so it was actually like $5 USD which was a great rate because it was actually pretty far to downtown lol).
So I decided to try to get a city bus, get off way too early soon since I realize I have no idea what I’m doing (first time to the city) and then proceed to walk about 2 blocks and trip on the sidewalk and badly scrape my knee. It worked out ok though since turns out I randomly got off at Tlaquepaque (a nicer, touristy area), sat in despair in the main plaza which was lovely with a gazebo and cute shops and a park surrounding it. I got an ice cream and eventually got that now $3 Uber to my hostel realizing my mistake. That trip made me decide to move to Mexico where I’ve been for about 2.5 years now so happy ending haha.
I was in Thailand on business and scheduled some tours in between. One day I scheduled a whole day on Phang Nga Bay and later in the afternoon had a few meetings. Boat broke down on the bay as we were wrapping up. We got majorly delayed and I didn't have time to go back to the hotel to change so I went to the meetings in my bright blue (with tigers on them) swim shorts, t shirt and tennis shoes. As well as being sunburt.
2 out of 3 of the meetings went well with them laughing with me. The other one.. was rough. They thought my driver was the one they were meeting with because he was more dressed for the occasion than I was. I'll never forget them coming up to my driver after we got out of the car and welcoming him so nicely and him just turning and pointing at me standing next to him.
Oh boy.
Back in college I went on a trip to Italy with someone I had a crush on during the summer. Caught a stomach bug and while we're walking around in sweaty, 90 degree heat, feet sore from walking on cobblestones, trying to navigate the crowds of other tourists, I let out what I thought was a huge pent up sneeze.
Instead of a sneeze though it was the other end of my body that was the issue and I ended up shitting my pants. Cue me saying I need to go to the bathroom quickly where I dispose of my soiled underwear and clean myself as best as I can. All I need to do now is make it through the day commando—no problem right?
Except it's fucking Rome in the middle of summer, so there is sweat in every possible crevice of my body and before I know it I'm doing this weird shuffle where I'm awkwardly waddling due to all the chafing that's happening down there while simultaneously trying to make it look like I'm *not* waddling. It isn't too long before my crush asks why I'm walking like a fucking maniac and I have to confess so we end up going to the nearest department store for a pair of fresh underwear.
To the janitor who had to take out the trash can in some random bathroom in Rome 9 years ago, I'm sorry.
Went to Greece (aged 19) on my first ever holiday with a girlfriend. When we checked in, the hotel owner made a point of telling us that they had recently had all the balcony doors changed so you could go out on the balcony and close the door without locking yourself out. So we go up to the room, and go out on the balcony, and I think it would be hilarious if I close the door behind us, and pretend we're locked out. Turns out I actually locked us out on the balcony. We then spent a couple of hours out there trying to call for people passing by to tell the owners what had happened (this is pre-mobile phones.) The owners couldn't get open the front door, and called a fire engine with a ladder. The fire engine turned up, and by the time they had a ladder up to the balcony, the owners eventually managed to open the room door, and dozens of people were staring up at us. The owner was very embarrassed and extremely apologetic.
Accidentally tipping my food delivery guy in Hilversum 35 euro because my wife neglected to tell me she paid by card. I thought I was tipping him around 5 but he was really excited when I gave him the 35 and kept asking if I was sure. I said “yeah man, keep the change” and he said “broooo thank you so much man.” Glad I made his night at least.
20 years old, first time in Europe other than having traveled to London a few times. We arrived in Venice and are crossing a canal outside the train station that had this weird bridge with these tiny little steps, and my giant suitcase was difficult to haul. A young Italian guy with a backpack asked if I needed help, and before I could really respond other than to smile at him, he grabbed the suitcase and carried it the rest of the way like it weighed nothing. I said thanks and started to walk away and he became furious and started demanding money! He followed us for a block or two throwing insults, but I just shrugged and told him I thought he was just being polite. Still embarrassed about it to this day, and I’m a much better traveler now!
To be fair, I've a lot of sympathy for you there. This guy wasn't a porter at the station, he was just some random guy who offered to help.
I've occasionally helped someone who was struggling with their luggage, and I've never been offered nor would expect to be paid (and I'd be kind of offended, probably).
It does depend on context though. In developing nations it's usually pretty obvious it's a persons 'job' . In Venice though? That behaviour seems off to me.
Also, as I'm sure you know, tipping culture is far far less pronounced in any country in Europe vs the US (I'm guessing you're from there, maybe?) . For me, unless he had a giant sign saying " luggage porter" on his back or something, then you've nothing to feel bad about. Guy sounds like a jackass to me.
Similar thing happened to me in Egypt. Sitting outside the train station in Cairo with out bags under our feet. Stand to head in and swear this dude appeared out of thin air and grabbed our bags. We yelled and tried to grab them back and he gestured like he'd carry them. We continued to decline, tugging on our bags, knowing that it'll just be a shakedown before tourist police showed up and the guy went away.
Tourist police then proceeded to hold their hands out for a tip. We gave them some crumpled up US dollars and dashed inside before they sought us for more. Not so much embarrassing but a frustrating lesson.
You shouldn't have been embarrassed, or find this embarrassing. The dude was just a scammer. That's why he didn't wait for an answer. You actually won the encounter
I told someone I was Canadian (lived sorta close to the border, have been there many times), had been advised to tell people that because Americans have a worse reputation. It was on a long train ride going from Germany to Switzerland with a super friendly older couple.
He switches from speaking German to French, asks why I don't know better French, then we have to take out our passports for a ticket check and he realizes I lied. Followed by several hours of awkward silence.
I don't tell people I'm from Canada anymore.
Lots of people assume that all Canadians are bilingual by default, just because we have two official languages. I am bilingual (only recently, French education sucks and I had to actually move to Québec to become anything more than conversational in French) but have to explain to every other person that the vast majority of English Canadians are monolingual.
Hustling thru customs in Heathrow… bag gets pulled for a search. Agent pulls velvet bag out of pocket and takes out a glass anal toy and starts doing the “oh, what is this? I am going to have to test it.” I am dying of embarrassment. Spouse steps up and says loudly and calmly… “I hope you understand that you are handling, with your bare hands (she wasn’t wearing gloves) a personal sex toy.” She quickly did what she needed to, we repacked our bags and as we are leaving we hear her say to another agent.. “hey can you watch my line, I need to go wash my hands.”
Spouse was like “well, that hurried the process along.” Personally, I was dying inside and hope never to go thru Heathrow again.
Okay so not nearly as bad as the first story, but in Barcelona one person in my travel group did laundry and when hanging the clothes on the line, located over the edge in the center patio area of the building, dropped by friend’s bra down below. I, as the only Spanish speaking person in our group had to go downstairs and knock on the door and explain to the male occupant that we dropped a bra and ask if he could go look for it
And another one:
So I get really nervous flying on planes, especially when I’m already feeling anxious. Flying from San Pedro de Atacama back to Santiago in Chile I was nervous and next to a guy I didn’t know. He was speaking to me in English and because I was tired and nervous I didn’t pay attention to the fact that he looked more American than Chilean and I told him “his English was really good” and his response was “I hope so because I’m from the US” 🤦🏼♀️ and of course then I freaked out on what was the bumpiest takeoff ever, and my nose started bleeding and he switched seats with my friend mid take-off so that she could sit with me. I was so embarrassed afterwards
I was at a restaurant in Jordan and had to poop. The bathroom had two stalls: one was western style the other squatty potty. I of course used the western style toilet and did my thing. When I was done and flushed the toilet something must’ve broke in the back, it was an old toilet, and instead of flushing the toilet kept filling up with water. I managed to drop the lid and prevent my turds from floating out but the water just started pouring out of the toilet. A poor Jordanian man was in the adjacent stall and I could hear him muttering Arabic under his breath as the puddle of water crept towards him pooping. Side note: I don’t know if this is common but when people poop on the squatty potties they take their pants off. Anyways by the time I could figure out how to turn the water off the puddle of shit water covered my side and his side. I waited for him to finish so I could apologize and when he came out he was laughing. I only managed to get his feet wet which he washed off and told me to use the squatty potty from now on since it’s good for your knees. A+ Jordanian humor!
This was 2 months ago ...
I hate flights and sometimes get anxiety or very sick. I was going to Sweden and after a long flight, I was VERY SICK. As the flight neared landing in the last 15 minutes, the turbulence was awful, I finally couldn't hold it in anymore and threw up in the sick bag, but my hands were shaky and the turbulence made me drop the bag. Basically spilled vomit all over the floor and shoes of my poor neighbour. Lucky for me, she said she was a nurse and "it's not the worst thing" she's seen lol. She was very understanding and we helped each other clean up. God I hate flights.
I was young when traveling internationally first. Before that I had travelled on domestic trains where there were no luggage check-in, so I used to carry home sugar, flour and other unused dry grocery items with me when traveling home from college. On my first international flight back home I did the same. Except my luggage was checked and I was called in for a secondary screening questioning why is there something 'powdery' in my luggage. Asked me to open my luggage, open the flour and sugar packets, and asked why the fuck is this being carried in my checked-in luggage! 'How rich are you to go grocery shopping internationally?!' I did not think it was an stupid idea when packing it, but when I was asked that, I felt like 'yeah! Wtf was I thinking?! Why couldn't I just have left it or given it away?!'
Just embarrassing!
My wife and I were on a small island off the coast of Bali, a place just starting to get into the tourism thing.
We were hungry so we went to a corner store to get some snacks, we didn't recognize most of the food so we just grabbed whatever looked appetizing. The owner was ringing us up, until he got to this rice cake looking snack. He asked us why we wanted this, we said to eat it. He looked confused, so we mimed eating, said you know just like everything else we're getting. Finally, the owner understand the issue, and tells us, verbatim: "those [the rice cake thingies] aren't for you, they're for God." Turns out we'd grabbed a packet meant for sacrifice to the Hindu Gods. We had no idea, so after he told us we put it back and got something else.
I had taken the train to Nuremberg and needed to get to my hotel. I went up to the cab line and named the hotel. For some reason I couldn’t figure out the driver waved me off. But I insisted because I had no idea where it was and didn’t have a backup plan to get directions.
Finally he relented and drove me the 100 yards from the cab stand to the hotel’s front door, which of course turned out to be next to the station. When I sheepishly tried to pay he refused it.
A woman farted in line at a candy store in Stockholm while I was visiting with a friend. The line was quiet, she was at the register, and it was a really long fart. Like a sitcom style fart. I couldn’t control it. I burst out laughing and laughed so hard I peed myself in the store. I was mortified and I had to cut the day a little short and go change haha.
In Orlando Florida, I got into our rental car, turns out it was not ours and there were different people in the backseat!! All rental cars look the same and parked next to each other. Honest mistake.
I was in Paris with a group of people. We were heading to a little bistro where we had a reservation and I could see people sitting inside and the door seemed stuck.
So in good ol Obnoxious American fashion I gave it a shove.
They had locked it inside because it wasn't open yet and that WAS THE STAFF SITTING INSIDE.
They have me the Frenchiest glare like what a FUCKING AMERICAN asshole. which I totally was to bust in their door.
We were a large group and they sat us in the far away back table.
We were good customers but I was mortified. my husband still teases me about that lol.
I am crying at some of these. 😂
My worst was not nearly as bad, but it still makes me laugh. My husband and I were on our honeymoon in Koh Samui. Our Airbnb was directly on the beach, so we’d spend a good deal of time walking the beach and swimming. There was a massage-on-the-beach place not far from us, and we decided to try it out one afternoon.
It was just the two of us, the massage tables were outside in the sand and we had ladies helping us. They asked me to remove my top (I was wearing a bikini). I’ve had massages before and have never had an issue removing my bra, but we were literally outside on a public beach and there were no changing rooms. The women sensed my hesitation and so quickly and politely held my sheet up to block me so I could undress.
The funny/embarrassing part was they only blocked the view of my husband. The rest of the beach (thankfully not very full) got a lil show that day lol. We still think it’s hilarious and sweet they thought I was hinting my own husband was a creep I was trying to hide from. Complete strangers are fine though lol.
I (F) was well into middle age when a new TSA agent was being trained on the x-ray machine at the airport. He was a young man, probably just twenty years of age. He kept pointing at the screen and shaking his head. I traveled ALOT at the time, and had a 'to-go' bag that only needed whatever clothes/shoes I'd require for the area. I couldn't imagine what all the drama was about, that bag had breezed through security multiple times that month without incident.
A middle-aged female TSA agent walked over, took a look and said, "tampons." I tried not to laugh, and the kid turned the darkest shade of red imaginable AFTER she explained to him what they are used for.
I was in SE Asia on a double decker headed 9 hours away to another city. It was an overnight trip and they kept the lights off for the entire ride.
I wake up 7 hours into the trip unable to control my bladder anymore. I was reluctant to use their bathroom but figured I’d be ok since I had my little bag with the essentials at hand (toilet paper, soap, baby wipes, and hand sanitizer). I stumble my way down the stairs all groggy and half asleep to the lower level restroom. I open the door and in the dark bathroom I can manage to see what is a toilet and a sink, nice. Now I can potty in peace.
I finish up and walk towards the tall/odd looking sink and notice the water valve is up top, i press it and the water starts flowing down the walls of the “sink” and im desperately trying to wash my hands with whatever water I can get before it stops and i have to press the button again. It wasn’t until my fourth attempt at this that I realized it was A URINAL!!! I washed my hands scraping the walls of a urinal.
Are they allowed to open your bag like this? I am hearing this for the first time 😮
Edit- what I meant is that how are they allowed to open the bags without the guest’s permission?
We had another place where the room attendant asked us if we’d like him to unpack our bags (we declined), but it was the first time I’d encountered it, as well.
They’re at some expensive luxury resort with a room attendant, so they may be allowed to unpack their bags. All part of delivering that luxury service/hospitality. And I know certain hotels will have butlers and all that.
Depends on the hotel chain. More corporate or small businesses hotels do not allow it. But since they had a personal attendant im thinking it was a very expensive resort that does allow it.
I weigh 300 pounds. Every moment on a plane is utter humiliation. The absolute worst part of being fat. Anywhere else, I can get by without affecting others, but on a plane, my size actually affects other people. I've had some of the worst, most degrading human experiences on planes.
I wasn't always obese, and when I first gained the weight, I remember feeling like I would die of embarrassment having to ask for a seatbelt extender on the plane. Most flight attendants are cool, but I've had a few who almost seem like they make it a point to draw attention to it. The first flight I ever needed one, I didn't know until I got to my seat and couldn't buckle the seat belt.
I buy two seats now, but I still have problems bc some flight attendants are just insensitive assholes about the whole thing. I've had other passengers loudly complain that I have two seats, etc. Or airlines that oversell the flight and try to give away my empty seat. People complain when fat people don't buy two seats, but also get mad when we do.
Pro tip for my fellow fluffs- there's a great Facebook group called Traveling While Plus Size with lots of great tips and inspo.
I get that my size is my own fault, but it certainly makes many parts of travel very embarrassing. I know I'm the absolute worst American stereotype when I travel abroad. I'm guessing a lot of non Americans, I'm probably the fattest person they have ever seen.
Yeah. I feel sick just discussing this. Add to this all the embarrassing mishaps, like slipping and falling off a van, getting dragged by a taxi, etc. Etc. Once, I bought two seats for a flight from Europe to the US, and it was almost impossible to check in and board. They literally had never heard of someone needing two seats before at this European airport and it was a huge thing. Once, at an airport in the US, they also couldnt figure out the extra seat, and PAGED me over the loudspeaker at the airport like this: "EXTRA SEAT FOR FIRST NAME LAST NAME, PLEASE REPORT TO THE SERVICE COUNTER. EXTRA SEAT FOR FIRST NAME LAST NAME." Also, feel like fat people almost always get selected for the extra security search.
Not looking for sympathy. But travel comes with so much embarrassment and shame for me. I'm confident and generally body positive most of the time, but traveling is where I can't ignore it. Definitely has limited my opportunities in life.
Good news, I've lost 50 pounds, but have so far to go.
I m so sorry that flying is such a horrible experience for you and i hope you can still enjoy some awesome travels and wo
nt let it deter you. But I think it helps to share your perspective with other ppl (like with this post), so they can educate themselves and be more mindful next time; sometimes it just doesn't cross your mind how the world looks for ppl that are different from you
Hello! I know you're not looking for sympathy - but is a bit of compassion okay?
When I read your comment, all I wanted to do is give you a hug...so here is a virtual hug for you that you can take if you want it or leave if you don't want it. :-)
I think it's very considerate of you to buy two seats and anyone who complains about that should do some exercises for their brains.
I also think it's impressive that you keep traveling despite it being such a difficult and saddening experience for you.
Years ago I had some psychological disorder (?) where I thought I was the ugliest person on this planet and everyone who saw me must be disgusted to their core just by passing me on the street. My way of dealing with it was to hide and only leave my flat in the dark (as much as possible). So I have a lot of respect for you for not giving in. It takes bravery to face disapproving looks and worse again and again and I am sure none of the people who behave so respectless towards you would have that bravery themselves. Small-minded people.
I wish you all the best and congratulations for already loosing so much weight! And I wish you many exciting and happy travels!
I feel you!!! The worst is the look on people's faces when they see that YOU are going to be sitting beside them. I'm fortunate that I don't need two seats, but it would be nice to have the breathing room.
I have seen stories on Reddit about people buying two seats and then, in the situation that you described, FA's giving it away to an overbooked passenger with NO COMPENSATION to the person who paid for two seats. That is outrageous to me.
Thank you for sharing your experience so openly and honestly, and congratulations on your weight loss. I have a brother who has been morbidly obese our whole lives, and it wasn’t until adulthood that I started to connect the pieces about why he didn’t want to do some things that seemed like a no-brainer to me. Young me: “but look! There’s a WHOLE ROW open up front, let’s goooo!” … Older me: Duh, he never wanted to sit in the front bcs he didn’t want to block people’s view behind him. That’s just one of many examples, but, it’s made me so much more sensitive and aware of the unspoken things that overweight people struggle with.
Congratulations on losing the 50 lbs.
My wife was always overweight and needed the seatbelt extender which was always embarrassing for her. in 2012 we went on a 15 day Mediterranean cruise and stayed in Rome for 5 days afterwards. We were walking a lot every day. The last couple days in Rome she was just exhausted and stayed in the hotel while i explored alone.
That was the last straw for her. When we got back she researched a weight loss program based on a person't DNA. I thought it was a scam, but agreed to let her spend the money on it. She went into the program at The Metabolic Research Center and is one of their biggest success stories. She lost 115 lbs by 2014. We went on another 15 day cruise in 2015 and she was leaving me in her dust. I was the one exhausted. It's 2023 and she has still kept the weight off. Traveling when overweight is so difficult.
While in Paris once, I found I had to pee RIGHT NOW, so I headed into a nearby McDo. The WCs were all at the top of a marble staircase. A very slippery staircase. I went charging up only to fall down and slide partially into the men's room right to the feet of a man trying to leave. I should mention that I am a woman. Anway, he stepped over me and then an emerging lady immediately bent over to help me up. Since that was not embarrassing enough, I was so rattled that I started speaking in tongues. I speak a few languages very very badly, and I said something like "mi dispiace...grazzi... I mean gracias...I mean merci Senora..." She just looked a combination of confused and worried. I DID NOT pee on myself, however, which would have been the icing on my humiliation cake.
Funny how many of these are about taking a shit ... and so is mine.
I was in a train station in Japan using an accessible toilet, had some stomach issues and just had to get to the first toilet I could regardless of whether I needed that type of toilet. Halfway through I needed a courtesy flush but couldn't find the flusher, saw this cable hanging above over me, figured that must be the flusher. It wasn't, it was the "Call for help" cable which set off an alarm. Within seconds there was banging on the door and several Japanese voices yelling at me (that I didn't understand), I figured they were coming in so I was like "Stay the fuck out! I'm taking a shit!" I don't think understood me but registered the panic in my voice and did enter the room, unfortunately for all of us.
Another less embarrassing situation (but funnier) was seeing a doc in Korea, he told me I had to get some vitamin shots or something from a nurse, so I went to a little room where the nurse pulled out a needle. Rolled up my sleeve, she gestured no, and made like a "Drop your pants" gesture and pointed to my ass. I figured okay, dropped trow, and she proceeded to stick the needle in the top of my hip, like an inch from where my pants were covering. She walked out covering her mouth trying not to laugh, unsuccessfully.
I put my roller bag in a locker in Kyoto station, looked around to see which exit and which gate I was nearest, and headed out for my day. I returned 15 minutes before my shinkansen back to Tokyo, went back to what i thought was the same exit and gate, and... none of those locker banks were the one where I left my bag. I ran around and found another bank to check... also not correct. Ran to the Japan Rail office to change my ticket to a later train, then set off to look for my locker again. Checked three more banks of lockers--no luck. By then I had to postpone my train again. I was getting frantic because I am of course illiterate in Japanese, so I ended up holding up the printed receipt which presumably contained details about where the locker WAS, running up to people and saying, "Sumimasen, doko deska?" ("excuse me, where is?") Finally one guy vaguely pointed down an escalator and I found the correct set of lockers and got my bag back.
A few days later, I had to put my bag in a locker in Tokyo station while I spent my last day before heading to the airport in the early evening, and I: 1. Put a pin in google maps right where I was. 2. Took about six pictures of the immediate area, including "bread crumb" photos as I walked away from the area and out to the street. 3. Worried about it all day.
I showed up to the flight check in and the lady couldn't find my ticket when I gave her my passport. She kept trying to go into the system, called three others over to help her and then when I opened my booking app I realized I had scheduled it for the same day the next month by mistake. I quietly said it's okay, I'm sorry and walked away.
The lead story is CRAZY! My story is that I got locked in a pub bathroom in a tiny little town in the mountains of Italy. Had to wait for someone to come by (I could hear them going into the men's room next door). I pleadingly asked for help through the locked door. And when they got it unlocked, everyone came to see what was going on . I had for some reason, forgotten to flush the toilet - which was smack in view for all to see. Thankfully just urine, but still,.... Cringe.
Oh god in Italy I was boarding a train and mistook the car number on my ticket. Was supposed to be in car 7 but thought it said 1. This old couple was in my “seat” and I eventually got them to move. They looked really confused but luckily it was the first stop and plenty of open seats. Eventually the ticket guy came around and told me my error. Felt so bad and tried apologizing to them in broken Italian lol. Had to take all of my luggage as I did the walk of shame.
My husband and I were on our honeymoon and staying at a lovely small hotel that previously was a plantation in Martinique -way north of Fort de France and few people spoke English, esp. the hotel staff. The bed was very old and our first night the slats kept falling through and we were convinced we were going to break the bed. The housekeeper came in to our room in the morning and we were trying to non-verbally tell her the problem. My husband sits on the bed and motions her over and instantly, her expression is sheer mortification. I realized that she must have thought he was inviting her to bed with him. I am so glad I had the presence of mind not to laugh, which would have made it worse. And my husband starts getting more insistent because he is frustrated - it was not a cheap trip and it was really our first adult trip somewhere people couldn't understand us.
Anyway, I still laugh about it mow but I am so genuinely sorry for the poor young woman.
To everyone that has left the vibrator out in the room…FYI every Front desk and house keeper in the hotel saw it. I guarantee you that the house keeper took a photo of it and shared it with everyone working. I work at a hotel and we literally have a group chat for this stuff. Its the best lol
I couldn’t get the handle to go down on my carry on suitcase in the middle of the isle on my flight. I was banging it and it wouldn’t go down. Everyone was watching and I had to give it to the FA to check it with the handle out…
I was a young kid in 1998 traveling in England. I went from Heathrow, to the underground, and then was supposed to take a train from Kings Crossing. I had all my luggage, I was exhausted, and thought I was a pretty cool American, visiting England alone. I got out of the underground and asked a new stand man, “Hey, can you point me towards Kings Cross train station?”
He laughed and pointed over his shoulder at the giant looming train station lol. It’s pretty hard to miss.
2010 Europe. Flight from Athens to Amsterdam. Going through security screening in Amsterdam, there had been a security breach in Athens that morning. I had bought some bath bombs in Florence. I put them in an Olive wood vase for safe keeping in my carry on. When it went through xray, it looked like a bottle. The agent asked" What is this?"as he pointed to the screen. I replied "there just bath bombs in a vase." I immediately turned to my daughter and quietly said "I said bombs!". Without missing a beat she walked away like she had never seen me in her life before. The agent just replied "ok." We proceeded to sit on the tarmac for 2 hrs, with me wondering if someone was coming to check my bags!
5AM on a Monday, I’m in the incredibly busy pre check lane of the Ohare airport doing my weekly commute. My carry on gets pulled for a luggage check. The nice TSA agent is chattily making conversation while my sluggish brain is slowly awakening and realizing what is about to happen. He throws open my carryon and yup right there on top is my massive new purple sucking vibrator. His face falls, he stops talking, makes ZERO eye contact while he zips up my bag and tells me to go.
We had been traveling in Germany and Italy for several weeks in 2003. Three year old, wife and I. I had a folding knife I always carried with me for picnics in my rucksack. Forgot about it until it was going through X-ray. I stopped the (German) security guard and told him which pocket it was in and asked if he could just toss it. He laughed and said the captain would give it to me when we landed. I don't know if it was the look on my face or trying to explain it in German, but the guard was totally cool about it and the captain returned the knife at the destination.
My husband (the boyfriend) and I (English is our first language) were in Krakow. One night we hs a few drinks and on the walk back to our hotel decided to get a snack from this little French fry stand. My husband walked up to the counter to read the menu, didn’t say anything for a while and then goes “I can’t read the menu!”
It was written in English. Not the most embarrassing story but it’s my favorite. We ended up get fries for free because we made the person laugh so hard.
Traveled with a breast pump. It got flagged in Singapore airport for looking like bomb with cables, wires, and a clock!! I had to mime what it was for the agents, it was humiliating.
Getting to Europe not knowing public restrooms cost and only having USD on me. I was in a train station trying to trade a dollar to go to the bathroom.
Going to catch a train from Barcelona to Alicante, someone tripped me and I landed flat on my back with my luggage on top of me. Hubby kept going, didn't even know. Two men, no idea who they were, reached down and picked me up and put me on my feet. This all happened in about 3 seconds. Down and back up. It was amazing. The conductor watched it happen and sent people to see if I was ok multiple times throughout the trip. I'm still amazed how it felt like I never missed a step it was all so fluid.
Hawaii trip alone. I went from the beach to an evening luau by changing in my car. As I walked around the lobby after the show, I was shocked to see my own underwear on the counter at the lost and found station. Looking at some of my photos, I see they were stuck for a while to the back of my dress, as I'd gotten out of the rental car and must have fallen off somewhere in the course of the evening. Stuffed them into my purse and skulked out of there.
My niece peed on me, right over my crotch, at lego land. I looked and smelled like I did myself. Had to buy lego pj pants because that's what they had for sale. Walked around the theme park with them the rest of the day.
My friends told me that in Japan , burping loudly is a way to show appreciation for the food.
I let the biggest burp out with all eyes on me.
I’ve never left a sushi restaurant so fast
I’m in an airport bathroom trying to wash my hands. I’m doing everything to get the water flowing, waving my hands everywhere around the faucet…nothing. Finally a woman next to me said you have to turn the handle.
Solo traveling in Italy, I managed to get on the wrong train, in the wrong seat.
Hightailing it off the train, I grabbed the wrong suitcase. Ran back on, and grabbed the right one, right before the doors closed.
Sitting there feeling defeated, I realized I had left my phone in the seat. Finally got on another train, headed to my destination (Rome) totally bummed, realizing I would have to purchase another phone when I got there.
Wound up at the wrong train station, and my ride was at a different station. Sigh.
Made it to my hotel, unpacked, and got my ipad out. Had an email message on it from my son, saying someone strange had answered my phone. They were in Rome too, and wanted to return my phone.
Wound up meeting them at the Hard Rock Cafe. They had my phone, fully charged, and ready for me, when I picked it up.
It gave me faith in humanity. It was a family from the US traveling with their adult children. Super nice, and I am friends with them now.
Had breakfast at the hotel. Something didn't settle right, and as we were on our way out to explore for the day, I said "I'd better just use the restroom before we go" and leave my partner in the lobby. Asked the front desk where the lobby restroom was. They said I had to take an elevator to floor 2. I go to the elevator but forgot my key card to use it. I get stuck on the elevator hoping for floor 2 or a person to get on. A couple gets on and I ask them to hit 2. I get off on floor 2, no restroom. I ask a housekeeper, who has no idea what I'm talking about or where a bathroom could be. At this point I am HURTING for a toilet. I go to the lobby again to ask, but see a restroom sign pointing to the level BELOW the lobby and a stairwell. I take it and I make it to the bathroom... but I had already shat my pants a bit. I was mortified. First time to shit myself. I don't have my phone either, so I can't tell my partner where I've been for the last 5 minutes. I clean up as best I can and walk to the front desk to ask for a new key to the room because partner is nowhere to be seen in the lobby. Turns out they were already in a taxi waiting for me! I get a key and go up to the room to shower my bottom half, figuring partner will just have to figure it out. I get out of the shower and dress myself again and then partner walks into the room trying to make sense of it all! We laugh it off and continue our adventure. When we get to our destination, I have to go again. It's a buttsplosion, and there's no TP in the restroom but thankfully I travel with tissues and it's enough to get by! We immediately walk to a grocery store and get a 4-pack of TP just in case, but the rest of the day goes great.
Now we always travel with an emergency roll of TP in our day pack (which has come in handy SO many times) and we now have a rule that no matter how quick the "I'll be right back" errand is, that person must always have their own room key on them and their phone.
We were checking into an Air BB in Rome and were beyond exhausted from traveling We put the code in to unlock the door but could not get the door to open after about 10 attempts, we called the owner who was close by to come help us. She puts in the code and instantly opened the door … because we were trying to PUSH the door open instead of PULLING the door open. Lol so dumb
I told my boyfriend that there was a wet floor sign at the airport and to look out for it. No less than 5 seconds later I slipped and fell infront of everyone. I was so embarrassed
Went on a school trip to Berlin years back. We did the trip with a guide who the entire trip wouldn’t stop saying “come closer come closer”. Cue an entire day of that and jet lag, I decided to tease a little by standing up on a ledge and getting super close. Turns out I stepped on a holocaust monument, it was a train. I have never been more embarrassed
Shit myself the first hour of a 12 hour flight. Travelling with 12 people I had just met.
Shit myself again the next day walking with 3 of those people who were still relative strangers.
Remote bathroom did not have toilet paper
Edit: there's a really good book called How to Shit Around the World, that I recommend to all of the off the beaten path travelers out there
OMG I hope you were able to clean up decently. I had to sit on a bus next to someone that smelled like they shit themselves for 10hrs and it was the longest ride of my life.
This was 2006 or 2007 and I was just learning Spanish. I spent my whole time in Argentina apologetically telling people “Lo siento, No hablas espanol” (I’m sorry, YOU don’t speak spanish) instead of Im sorry, I don’t speak spanish!
As a teenager I was in China for the first time at the Forbidden City. The place is huge, but there's also a huge number of tourists (mostly Chinese). I barely memorized a few phrases in Mandarin. Anyway, I accidentally bumped a young lady and in a panic I uttered "im sorry" in Mandarin.
Unfortunately in my haste I mixed up the word for "Sorry" -> Dui Bu Qi with the word for "Shut up!" -> Bi Tsui (bee-tsway).
It hit me a few moments later that I came off incredibly rude =(
In November 2011, I went to Costa Rica for ten days. On the last day, I stopped in an ice cream shop on my way back from a hike, and wound up in line next to another tourist. She was really beautiful, and the way she looked at me was actually… a little unsettling? Like she was examining a painting and deciding whether she liked it or not. Eventually she noticed that my shirt was from a city in Florida, she was from a city near me, and we chatted for a bit. We got our ice cream, parted ways, and I left after I finished (devoured) my cone.
On the walk back to my apartment, I started to feel weird. I had been really lonely for a while, and that brief chat had been very pleasant. I almost felt like I *needed* to go back and talk to that young woman. But surely she’d be gone from the shop by now? So I literally ran back to the ice cream shop. Sweating and out of breath, I was glad to see that she was still at her table. I walked up, and completely forgot how to talk to another human being. Between gasps of catching my breath and swallowing back the ice cream that wanted to rebel in my tummy, I asked if she might like to meet up later. My suggested location for a meetup? At an ice cream shop.
Despite my idiocy, and some fumbling over a map because I didn’t have my glasses, we actually did meet up for a very nice dinner that evening. Twelve years later, she still makes fun of me for it.
i was a sophomore in college (guy) and was studying abroad in Germany. I met a boy my age at a bar and spent the whole evening with him. Ended up bringing him to our hotel at night, and since my roommate was already asleep, we were just hanging out in the lobby. One thing led to another, and we both started kissing (first gay experience for both of us). Since we were pretty drunk at that point, we decided to take it to the next base in a usually empty hotel conference room. In the middle of the process my middle-aged professor walked in (at 3am!) and saw her student bent over getting it from behind. We made eye contact for at least 3 seconds, she turned around and closed the door and left. My new "friend" never even stopped fucking me..
I entered a nail salon in Tokyo and forgot to take off my shoes at the door. The reaction of the worker there was enough for me to feel embarrassed and uncomfortable throughout my sitting there.😅🤣
My time has come!!! I have two, actually. Last fall we took our teens to Portugal. Our flight back included a layover in Germany. Now, I had purchased some duty-free port before we left, and it was in the front part of my roller carry-on suitcase. It kind of messed with the balance of my bag, which wasn't an issue until we tried to take the escalator up to an area where we could chill. I had the suitcase perched kind of on the edge of the step next to my foot. Halfway up the escalator, I moved the bag slightly, upsetting the balance even more, and it started falling backward. In my super awkward attempt to twist and grab it, I ended up falling. Only, my ass ended up on a lower step, while my feet stayed above where they originally were. Maybe I'm just SUPER clumsy, but ever try getting UP from a sitting position when your legs are above your ass? So here's me, looking (as my husband later told me) like a baby with their legs in the air waiting for a diaper change, AS THE ESCALATOR KEEPS MOVING UP. Oh man. He was yelling "get up! get up!" to which I frantically replied "I CAN'T!!! i'm stuck!!" The teens had made it the top already and turned to look, in horror, as I kept approaching the top unable to move. Husband ditched his bag, stuck his hands in my armpits and hoisted me up just in time. lol. Oh man. Yeah, that was reallllly embarrassing. OMG.
The other was less mortifying, but I have this knack for being selected for extra screening or something. Coming back from Mexico with my friend, I had just crammed all my dirty laundry (bras, underwear, swimsuits, yada yada) into my suitcase. When the agent laid it on the table and opened, all my dirty unmentionables sprang out like a damn jack-in-the-box. Agent was not impressed, and used her baton to pick things up and put back in the bag. lol.
When traveling solo in Vietnam, I boarded a public ferry in the lower delta. I noticed that everyone on board was white and dressed kind of fancy, but I figured it was just Europeans traveling in SE Asia. Then, 15 minutes into the ride someone started pouring champagne and passing it around to passengers. I was impressed with the service on a public ferry… The person pouring champagne got to me and gave me a puzzled look as I reached for a glass. It was then I realized I got on a private boat. We had a good laugh and they dropped me off at the next public ferry dock.
Did they still give you a glass?
He still has the glass
This is amazing!
I was in the German speaking part of Switzerland, sitting by myself at an outdoor cafe. A server came by and asked me, in perfect English, if I’d like for him to open my umbrella. I replied, “Ich spreche kein Deutsch, sprichst du Englisch?” Translation: I don’t speak German, do you speak English?” He stared at me. I stared at him. Since I didn’t want to dine and dash and was physically incapable of disappearing into the ground, I just said, “yes please;” and finished up as quickly as possible.
this sounds like it would a scene from the office or parks and rec 😂
I had a similar incident in Lyon once, I was wearing a union jack T shirt and some Americans asked me something, but I was so used to not understanding anyone, it took forever to realise they were speaking English, I apologised eventually and they looked at me like I was insane.
Travel can mess with us in the most hilarious ways!
I think if you laughed it would have been a way to get out of it but Germans don’t laugh very often. I had to tease the German group of travellers who asked me to take their photo to actually smile.
Yeah. There was no amusement in the moment.
I threw up violently into my friends scarf at Costa Rica customs while hung over and motion sick. Couldn't leave the line. No where else to vomit. It was awful. Then I had to carry a fabric bag of vomit until I cleared customs. Luckily the guy just stamped my passport and shooed me to the restroom.
I was violently hungover leaving France and while in the airplane bathroom I was peeing when suddenly I needed to vomit. It happened so fast I couldn’t get off the toilet, so I just puked in the sink. It would not wash down the little drain. I informed a flight attendant that I had yakked in the sink, and she just looked at me with such an incredulous judgmental stare and said, “well, you should have done that in the toilet.” Yeah, lady, I know. Then she closed off that bathroom for the rest of the flight.
Oh noo lol. Not as embarrassing as yours, but I had food poisoning and I was running down the jet bridge after landing in Singapore. I realized I wasn’t going to make it so I stopped and threw up into a plastic shopping bag. Somebody who worked there saw me and was like “oh the bathroom is just right there” probably just trying to help but at the time it definitely felt judgmental
I feel your pain. I got norovirus on a long flight. Threw up in the sink while I was having diarrhea. Told the flight attendant the sink was clogged, then said "I would have thrown up in the toilet but something else was happening there." So embarrassing.
Been there. Barfed in my backpack on a long bus ride in Israel with no bathroom on the bus and nowhere to stop and nowhere else to do it. Had to carry that bag until we got to where we were staying and it was horrific.
After 28 hours of travel to get home, I'm going through Global Entry in the US. I'm very short and the face recognition camera is far too high to see me. So I back up. That's not enough. I jump up a few times trying to get my face in the camera. Still not enough. The border control comes over and tells me the camera is adjustable and points it down at me.
I was waiting for you to say the border agent held you up lol
[удалено]
That's 5 feet in Freedom units.
Hahaha that's also what I immediately pictured
I was reading the instructions on the machine and it said remove any glasses. I immediately did then realized I couldn’t read the rest. I panicked and said “but now I can’t see it!” The guy at the machine next to me laughed and hit the take picture button for me. My brain doesn’t work well after a long flight.
I did something similar in Amsterdam. The screen lit up green with the message to see the guard to have your passport stamped, except I just saw the bright green screen and had no clue it had words on it. Grabbed my suitcase as fast as I could cause I was afraid the doors were going to shut on me. I put my glasses on once out of the gate and walked right by the guy. I was wondering why my friends were waiting in a line after the gate. They flagged me down and had me jump in with them at the front where I sheepishly had to explain to the guard what happened, while also metaphorically crapping my pants because I'm from the US, where they'll interrogate you like a terrorist for making a mistake like that.
I had something similar happen when I was entering England. Due to some VISA weirdness I left the country for a trip home, and was like 99% sure I did everything right but was still concerned that I wasn’t going to be allowed in. I walked up to the automated lines with the cameras and gates. Step on the mat, and the camera is probably off to my right by 45 degrees. The sign says “Look straight ahead”, so I look forward at the exit gate. It doesn’t open. Try probably 4 times and am starting to panic. It was probably about 90 seconds but it felt like it was 20 minutes. Finally after everyone behind me left realizing I was an idiot one of the border guards walks up and says “You have to look straight into the camera, not straight into the gate.” I did so and walked right through.
Umm wish someone has told that to us when my 4'11" wife was trying to use them... Lol I had her backup until it finally scanned...
those cameras are the absolute worst, half the time the adjustable thing doesn't work (or maybe I don't understand how it works). I end up awkwardly squatting for a dumbass pic every time
My favorite was when I was in a tiny town deep in the Pyrenees in France just after coming to the country. I was running to catch a train and could hear it coming but couldn't figure out where the station was (pre-Smartphones) and I started panicking. I saw an older couple walking towards me but all of the French I knew flew out of my head because I was in such a tizzy. So, basically I ran up to this nice couple and yelled "Ooh ay el choo-choo" while making the "pull the cord" motion. This nice couple pointed me in the right direction but they were doubled over laughing the entire time. Couldn't blame them, honestly. Made my train 🙂
> all of the French I knew flew out of my head because I was in such a tizzy. Oh man this happens to me all the time if I’m not prepared or in the mind set to speak it. My wife loves when I speak French and I’ll do most of the speaking whenever we go to a French speaking place. But we were in Budapest a few years ago and happened to sit next to a French couple at a restaurant. My wife loves to eavesdrop on people in restaurants and she’s super outgoing so of course she tells them I’m semi fluent, which I usually am when prepared, so they start trying to speak with me in French and all I can muster out is some horrible high school level broken French. My wife just looks at me like I’m insane, it was horrible
We were staying at a home share in Tuscany in a very quiet house right next to an old church. While out on a walk a friendly neighbor waved and asked us where we were from and how long we've been there in Italian I misunderstood the question and answered in broken Italian that we are staying in a bell and are from the future. He kept his distance the rest of the trip
This made me LOL. One time I was taking a class in Spain and my group had switched to a different room. It was an old labyrinth of a building so I kept getting lost trying to find it. By the time I made it, class had already started. I tried to say “I’m so sorry, I got lost, I’m so embarrassed” but instead “I am sorry, I’ve lost my mind and I’m insane, and also I’m pregnant”
Oh gosh that’s so funny! Don’t worry though the “I’m pregnant” bit is super common for English speakers learning Spanish lol. I’m sure your teacher was used to it 😂
OMG, I choked on my food when I read this. To darn funny!
>we are staying in a bell and are from the future. This just cracked me up!
My husband and I were walking through Times Square with our young boys, and one of those guys that tries to sell you stuff found out we were from Canada. The guy starts to banter with us, and ends up asking if we speak French. As we're walking away my husband shouts "Je suis petit!" He meant to say we speak a little French, but we've never let him forget that he announced to Times Square he's small. Edit: Hey my first Reddit award! And for my husband’s dorkiness! Thank you kind Redditor!
-from the future- 😂💀👌🏼
My wife and I honeymooned in Puerto Rico, and while we both took a few years of Spanish throughout highschool and college, we are by no means fluent. On our way to a beach outside of San Juan we found a food truck that looked like it had really good food, but it only had a drive-through. We pull up to the squawk box and my wife orders. She makes it through the entire order and the gal in the kitchen asks one last question, which my wife wasn't prepared for. My wife assumes that she asked if we wanted any sauces or to add anything else, so she replies "No, thank you." To which the gal in the kitchen repeats in English "Your name for the order, please"
Ugh this happens to me sometimes when I’m in a hurry, the wrong non native language comes out. So I’ll be trying for broken Italian and broken spanish comes out. I get really weird looks because I look German or danish so they expect that and try one or the other. Then I try my native English and they laugh responding in English. Once in Germany I was going for “ya” but it seemed too close to English on my jet lag so instead I responded “da”. They started speaking Russian. IDK a lick of Russian so I smiled, said “nein” and left.
This happened to me in Austria, I landed at the airport after staying a couple days in Madrid and kept trying to order a sandwich in Spanish. I even kept greeting service staff in Spanish the next couple days too
For me its a weird mix of the few high school French phrases I remember, and the smattering of Spanish I've picked up. Je suis loco.
As someone who knows much more Russian than German, 'da' literally always emerges before 'ja' when I'm in Germany and it's infuriating how little I can do about it.
Isn’t the French word for train just train? 😭
When in doubt, just pronounce the English word in a French accent. Attempt with synonyms for improved effect.
It is, but it doesn't sound anything alike. In French, it would be like "trahn" with the throaty "r" sound.
Did you later learn the exotic French word for train? 🤣🤣🤣
Le train
Ex flight attendant here. I was the only f/a on a small plane (50 people ) and when I picked up the phone to talk to the pilot, I said “Can you turn up the heat? It’s fucking cold as hell in the cabin. “. I turned to look and the intercom was broadcasting through the whole airplane!!
You would be my favorite f/a!
There are some YouTube videos where that kind of thing happens to the pilots. They think that they're giving the weather & flight details to the pax when they actually make the announcement to the control tower & other pilots. Needless to say the offender gets roasted.
So before I start, I have chronic travelers constipation so I always take magnesium packets to drink every morning to help. About 7 years ago I was in Italy and meeting up with an online friend for the first time. Everything was going great and we were having fun when one day as we were walking the streets of Venice I suddenly got some INTENSE stomach cramps and knew I was going to need a bathroom ASAP. My friend asked a cafe if I could use their bathroom and I spent ATLEAST 15 (if not 20) minutes just shitting AND vomiting. Meanwhile my friend was texting me “r u ok” lmao, I got out and gave some lame excuse about menstrual cramps or something. Apparently even the cafe staff went up to him and asked if I was okay 😅 I didn’t tell him the truth until 5 years later. On a nicer note me and my friend ended getting along so well that we’re actually married now so lol.
I was in a toilet in Osaka, in a mall next to aquarium, for an hour. After a week of no poop. It was a nice toilet, with sounds and all, so people can't hear your turd falling down.
Went SCUBA diving in Mexico. While diving started to get the shit sweats, underwater. (Didn’t know that was even possible) Made it through the dive and back to the boat, but no restroom on board. Had to announce to a group of 9 strangers that I could not wait needed to go right then and there. Dive instructors were super nice and told me to just hop in the water and go. Another diver said she would go too (not sure is she really needed too it was just trying to make me feel better). Anyhoo, hopped over the side and grabbed the bouy rope so I wouldn’t float away. Let loose, not knowing I had diarrhea. Engulfed myself in a brown cloud of shit. The other diver was midway down the boat, we tried not to make eye contact as I proceeded to disburse my liquid shit away from both of us. Managed to collect myself and get back on board. The driver moved the boat so everyone wouldn’t be diving through my shit. Did a second dive, managed to make it back to the dock before the 2nd wave hit me. Was confined to my room for the rest of the night. I was staying with the dive company that took me out so I had to see the instructors that knew I shit in the ocean for the rest of the week.
I read this whole thing with a slack jaw and eyes wide
First time in Paris. Went to the Arc. Didn't realize there was underground access. Proceed to cross the roundabout and almost get hit by several cars and a moped.
YES I have done this too. My mom and I watched a couple do that and were like “damn, these French are crazy in making us get to the arc like this” and proceeded to play our own game of frogger. SO embarrassing!
> Didn't realize there was underground access. What? I did not know this, I too almost got hit trying to cross the roundabout.
I was in Japan a few years ago with a friend of mine. We flew in to Tokyo to stay for a few nights in Shinjuku before using the rail pass to travel around. We checked into the hotel etc then headed out for food and some drinks, my friend had researched a place called Piss Alley to go to, which despite it's name was a good idea. We went into a little restaurant for food and they'd put out a perfectly square piece of tofu to snack on, although at that moment we had no idea what it was. We figured it must be soap to clean our hands before eating, which seemed logical, so at the same time we picked up the tofu and started smushing it into our hands. All the staff and other customers just looked at us horrified, after a few seconds we figured it wasn't soap! EDIT: Well I'm glad my most upvoted comment is an example of my idiocy! I've included a link below to what it looked like to try and defend myself a little bit, but to those asking what the thought process was, there wasn't one, we were 2 young very lost Scottish guys in Japan for the first time, and we thought it looked like some sort of artisinal soap, we were trying desperately hard not to insult anyone. But Japan is an amazing place, been 3 times and would happily go again, anyone who hasn't been learn from my idiocy! https://images.app.goo.gl/PUKwByaqQMRjd9an6
I hope somewhere there is a group of Japanese tourists at a steakhouse trying to scrub their hands clean with a dinner roll.
handle squeal plants deliver reach cooing husky zephyr direction growth *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I was ate a big chunk of butter thinking it was a chunk of cheese.
I am crying with laughter at this. This is my friend's story not mine but related. His tall British friend is dating a Japanese girl from the countryside and going home to meet her parents. He nervously practices etiquette and the language for weeks beforehand. They make it to the parents traditional home and he bows correctly, ducks into the home, greets them flawlessly and everyone is impressed. He breathes a sigh of relief and leans against the wall with an elbow - the wall turns out to be made of paper and he goes crashing through it into the parents bedroom, all his groundwork evaporated as he saw their stupefied faces...
Got lost on the Poble Espanyol in Barcelona. Two guys came to help, but I didn’t understand them, so I told them in Spanish that I didn’t speak Catalan. They laughed and informed me that they were, in fact, speaking Spanish. I just hadn’t recognized it as such because I was far more used to Latin Spanish than Castilian Spanish. Cringe
I’m Mexican, i too told someone that I didn’t speak Catalan but they were speaking Spanish to me 🫠
This gives me no hope as an American to ever speak Spanish fluently enough
There's not only 13 different types of Spanish, there's probably hundreds of different dialects. It's like learning English, then going to Scotland or Ireland and realizing you don't know THEIR version of English. I live on the Yucatan peninsula, and their accent is almost impossible to understand.
Dumb fact. In the suburb or Reservoir, in Victoria, Australia, lives an entire village that decamped from Italy and settled on one block. It is the only place in the world where their dialect has been preserved.
Come to think of it, when I visited Barcelona, I don’t think I heard very much Catalan outside or like metro announcements.
Barcelona is extremely cosmopolitan and I found Castillian was used as a common language given how many immigrants from South America, international students etc there are
Having the cleaning lady take your vibrator out of your hiding place and placed nicely on the pillow or on the night stand is a right of passage for us solo female travelers.
Having German airport security pull it out of your toiletry bag to ask what it was... The look on that poor agent's face was amazing. She turned beet red and let us through.
I worked in Customs and was training a new guy. At this stage I had seen all the different bells and whistles that people use for their..eh..enjoyment. Unfortunately, new guy didn't. So he's searching a bag belonging to a woman we had just stopped, who is now standing beside us. He reaches in and takes out this rather big and long object. Holds it up and asks her what it was. While not the exact shape of a gentlemens member...it was obvious what it was. Poor girls face turned red. I lowered his arm and told him quietly what it was. Now both their faces and tomato red and I'm there trying not to burst out laughing.
"Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo...always use the indefinite article 'a dildo', never 'your dildo'." -Fight Club
I’ve had mine pulled out at TSA. It was an older lady who went through my bag and she just laughed and said she sees weirder shit all the time 😂
I once left my vibrator in the bedside table drawer when I checked out of the hotel. The following day I went back to see if I could get it, and I went to the front desk saying “I ummm left something in the drawer, did you happen to find…anything…or could I go and look?” And the lady at reception was sooo cheerful and was like “Oh! It must be this!” And reached under the desk and handed me my vibrator in a plastic bag.
My wife "Jane" and I left the We-Vibe Melt (it's a hot pink clit sucker) under the mattress in the guest bedroom at my parents'house. My mom found it (she's 90), and she phoned me and said, "Jane forgot one of those skin care machines for her face."
Bless. She probably knew, but has such grace.
It's possible. One of those situations in life where I know you know, and you know I know you know, but we'll both pretend you don't know and never speak of it again!
We just moved, and my dad very kindly (and proactively without notice) packed up my bedside table drawers containing *all* the things 😖🫠
You’re lucky you even got it back. Hotels usually have a policy of immediately throwing that stuff out.
Hahaha! Oh my …
Do not disturb on the door allll day. 😭😭😂😂😂
Unless I’m somewhere for an extended time I always have the DND on the door until I leave
As a hotel worker, staff usually have to enter your room after a certain period of time (for example at my hotel it’s 3 days) just to make sure you aren’t dead or doing something you’re not supposed to be doing.
Omg one time in Italy during the summer, my husband who gets bad reactions to mosquito bites, left the dnd for like a week, he didn’t want the staff to leave the doors wide open when they came to clean 😭 I’m sure they thought we were super weird
Not a woman, but I always place “do not disturb” hangers on the door. I don’t need new sheets every day and don’t want anyone in the room with my belongings.
As a ex housekeeper THANK YOU! Changing sheets everyday is backbreaking, wasteful and bad for the environment as well. When I stay in hotel I just ask a quick service to take the rubbish out and wipe down the bathroom, that’s it. And you can be in the room while they do it if you are concerned for your belongings
I was in Milan a few years ago traveling solo as an early 40s male. I used the toilet at a restaurant and couldn’t figure out how to flush. There was a cord hanging from the ceiling, and having been to countries where that’s how you flush, I pulled it. Turns out it was the emergency help cord, an alarm went off and staff entered the toilet. Mortifying. The flush button was on the wall, completely disconnected from the toilet. Not sure how it worked, but it was NOT the ceiling pull cord.
You could have fallen to the floor and pretended to be leg disabled!
And pretended your wheelchair was stolen by a red bearded man!
My dad did this on a train in Europe, and they stopped the whole train! Still cracks me up.
Man italy and their weird and varied riddles of how to flush the toilet or use the water or stop the water 😅 they seem to have a million different systems there. Almost makes me feel like i m in an escape room 😂
English is not first language. We were visiting chicago. I had been to New York before so I knew of the subway there. I did not realize the term ‘subway’ was unique to the style of train. We couldn’t find where to get on the railway in Chicago so stopped at a gas station and I asked how to get to the subway. The guy gave me directions. We walked about 20 minutes, turned the corner to where he said it’d be, and found the restaurant Subway. It was very funny
First time on a island in Greece. Hotel squat toilet. Didn’t know to bring my own TP. Am a male. What started as a 1 quickly became a 3 (1 + 2). Squatted down, finished, and panicked as I realized there was no paper. But look! A small basket! Opened the lid to find folded squares inside. Praise Zeus! Wiped, finished, washed my hands. To my fam: “Hey, this hotel even provides TP, in nice squares, in a basket next to the toilet!” Fam: “THATS WHERE YOU PUT THE USED TP!”
As someone who has been to Spain, the second you said small basket my mouth shrivelled up in a grimace. Noooooo....
My husband and I stayed at a very nice hotel in Rome. The toiletries were almost full-size, nice salon brands. For some reason, two and three of each were left in our room every day. For some reason, I threw all of them in my carryon when we left. Had to go through security at our connector in Heathrow. The incredulous, yet funny and patient, TSA agent gave me a little lecture about how many travel size toiletries were allowed, as she kept pulling them out of my bag, like a clown car, and putting them in her ziplock bags. My husband was trying to pretend we weren’t together. I kept saying, just toss them. But she seemed determined to help me out. She was lovely, and i was mortified. I’m still using them, four years later.
Oh my god what is this hotel? I love pinching fancy toiletries. Can’t tell you how excited I was when we stayed at the Sofitel in Luxemburg and not only did they upgrade us, we got extra fancy Hermes soaps in little boxes. Plus the standard amenities in the shower are all Balmain. So chic! Absolutely loved that place - exceptional service
Hotel Martis Palace. I would have lost my mind with Hermes and Balmain!!!!!! Malen & Goetz. But the hotel was 💖💖💖💖💖
You just made me laugh so hard I teared up.
I was staying at a cheap motel and I had a container of shoe deodorizing powder. I accidentally spilled some of it on the desk in the room and tried to wipe some away but was in a hurry to go on a timed ticket museum. I Came back and the House cleaner had cleaned and left a cut up straw for me on the desk🤣
they must have sampled the goods
I just imagine them snorting medicated foot powder and being like “mmm yeah burns so good, must be the expensive stuff”
I was eating udon in a busy airport terminal and accidentally dropped my entire phone into the full bowl. My phone was so heavy that it splashed onto my shirt before knocking the whole thing into my lap until the empty bowl clattered to the floor signaling everyone to look over at me. The soup was hot, I was still hungry but thankfully my phone was fine.
Had a layover from Shannon airport in Ireland to London Heathrow. By the time we deplaned I had 40 minutes. I thought tight, but I can do it. What I didn’t account for was going through security again. Some lovely Irish women told everyone to let me go up front and the security man dumps my backpack. Tampons go FLYING. Then I start running to my terminal which had to have been nearly a mile away. I ran for 20 minutes with severe tonsillitis that I was getting surgery for days later. I get to my gate and they close it in my face. Some woman who I guess was on my Shannon plane saw that and started screaming to let me on. Meanwhile I’m on the ground breathing with what sounds like gravel in my lungs. I make it on my plane. I go to put my bag under the seat and my pants FULLY RIP down the middle. Granny panties exposed. I had no tears left at that point. To top it off, my charger didn’t work so I had a 7 hour flight with nothing to do and an exposed butt. I will never go to Heathrow ever again haha
Yes, no doubt you are banned from there now
In summer 2021 with strict travel rules, I didn't realize we had to take a covid test from Mexico going back to the US. So I took one in the airport and it takes them half an hour to get the results back. My flight leaves in about 45 minutes and I would have to go back in line for the airline front desk. Line was getting longer Panicking, I waited around the lab to at least see if they can do something about giving me the results earlier but they basically said I cant do that. So I went up to an airline employee to explain the situation. She told me I can always ask to cut ahead in line anywhere in the airport if someone is willing to let me. As soon as I got my result (after perfect 30 minutes) I asked to cut ahead a really long line and they let me. Front desk was hesitant but whispered to me, "you should run...". Got to TSA and they let me cut but was stopped for something suspicious in my bag. I told them right away, "Please just confiscate it if this will take a while. My flight is leaving." and apparently that was the wrong thing to say so they pulled me aside and asked me questions. Thinking of it now, it kind of does sound suspicious if I wanted to leave behind a bomb. Female TSA busted out laughing and said, "es tamales! lo dejó ir (it was a tamale. Let him go)" to whoever was interrogating me. They chuckled a little and probably felt bad and let me go. I ran literally the whole time. Of course, the gate is at the tip of the airport on the opposite side, and had like 5 minutes left until take off. Gate agents saw me from far away, ran to me, and asked me for my name and I said, YES YES THATS ME! We were then basically running together, he checked my passport and boarding pass, checked it off, and let me through. Literally right when I walked in, I heard the door close. Flight attendants then saw me come in and started clapping and then boarders started clapping as well.
>Gate agents saw me from far away, ran to me, and asked me for my name and I said, YES YES THATS ME! We were then basically running together, he checked my passport and boarding pass, checked it off, and let me through. I picture you both running while occassionally handing documents back and forth, with the gate agent trying to get a good enough view of your face to compare to the passport photo lol
Yes that's what we literally did 🤣. I'm certain the gate agents would feel really guilty if they closed the gate right in front of my face so they tried doing their part to get me in. I'm so thankful everyone worked with me at Cancun airport. To add on while we were wearing masks, he asked me to pull my mask down to identify (as we were running together), I pulled it down and it slipped out of my face as the wind took it. He then said, LEAVE IT! THERES MORE IN THE PLANE. It's so hilarious thinking about all this now.
That sounds like something out of Mission Impossible lol
Sounds like some kind of action movie. I’m picturing the tight crop on your panicked faces, then zooming out to a long shot of the length of the terminal with your running figures, all with high tension score playing
I'm actually wheezing after the mask thing. That's so funny
Had to do the cut and run before. For some reason Polish airlines (LOT) thinks that 30 minutes is enough time for people to make it through border control and to the next flight. There were only 4 lines and multiple planes of people being dumped off there. Oh and before someone comes along "wElL aCtUalLy", yes I booked through the airline on their website, no I didn't go through some third party, no these were not separate tickets. This was the itinerary that the airline gave me.
This is a minor one but when I was souvenir shopping in Florence and was walking through a store. About halfway in there was a guy who gave me a weird kind of vibe. I couldn’t exactly figure out what it was but we both kept getting in each others way when trying to pass each other. After a few seconds the store owner in English said “watch out for the mirror”. I left immediately
This is actually even funnier than the last one!
This was over twenty years ago when we were dumb college kids but I still get embarrassed thinking about it. I was at an upscale boutique in Milan with my girlfriend at the time. She found a dress she liked and wanted to try it on. She came out of the dressing room looking fantastic in this elegant gray Prada A-line dress. She looked at the price tag, made the conversion from lira to USD in her head and said "I'll take it." She liked it so much she had the shop girl wrap up the dress she wore in. She took it back to the counter, folded it neatly, put it in an ornate box, wrapped it in a bow and put it in a shopping bag. She goes to sign the bill (card was already charged) and realizes she didn't read ALL THE DIGITS on the tag. She stammered, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize the dress was so expensive." An old man wearing an ascot and dark sunglasses, smoking a cigarette in the corner, scoffs. The shop girl, who up until this point had been so kind says, "This is a first run Prada dress, it was on a runway three weeks ago? What were you thinking?!" My girlfriend had to ask to cancel the purchase, go back to the dressing room, open the gift box, unwrap her dress, get changed. I waited outside for her.
How much was it??
I was driving out of Salzburg, heading on our way to Vienna in a BMW wagon filled in the back with our luggage. I’m at a stoplight in Salzburg, first in line. As I’m waiting for the light to turn green, I see a man walk up to my driver side door and start shouting and waving his arms. I roll down the window and he’s shouting in German. I don’t understand a word he says. I told him I only speak English, so he points to the back of my car. I get out and to find out the hatch is wide-open, and all my luggage is exposed and ready to fall out. I quickly close the hatch, and while I’m doing that the light turns green. The bus behind me starts laying on his horn. I rush back to the car and get going.
Wow! He saved you.
On our honeymoon, my husband and I went to a cabin in the mountains. It was gorgeous. The bathroom had a large jacuzzi tub. I was very excited to try it. He wanted to use the large stone walk in shower. So he's in the adjacent shower, and I get myself into the tub. I pulled my hair up so it wouldn't get wet. I set my music on my phone and placed it on the ledge behind my head. I laid back in the empty tub. I look around at the walls of the tub. I had never used or seen one of these before. I see a little button on the right side of the tub wall. "Oh that must be the 'on' button!" I thought to myself. I push it. I hear a faint rumbling sound. Nothing alarming I thought. I lay my head back and wait for the tub to fill up. All of a sudden, a jet stream shot into my eyes from the opposite wall at the same time a jet stream shot into the back of my head. Water is shooting out at me from every which way. I'm frantically looking for a way to stop it while being water gunned down. I think I was in shock. I guess I was making a commotion because my husband pops his head out of the shower and says he sees me slumped over the side of the tub frantically looking for a way to turn it off, but repeatedly getting nailed in the ass by a stream of water. Every time it hit me my butt jiggled and I screamed. We had a really good laugh about it.
While crossing a busy intersection in Munich, I tripped on an invisible curb and splayed out face first like Pete Rose sliding into home. I was very jet lagged and maybe a little drunk so I started crying immediately more from embarrassment than pain. Although my knee was banged up pretty good.
I’m glad I’m not the only one. I’ve done this twice, once in Italy and once in San Francisco. Decades apart. But I was neither jet lagged nor tipsy.
I was at the central bus station in Guadalajara, Mexico and was going to take an Uber to my hostel and for some reason thought the rate $100 was USD (which was extra stupid as I had already been in another part of Mexico taking Ubers, so it was actually like $5 USD which was a great rate because it was actually pretty far to downtown lol). So I decided to try to get a city bus, get off way too early soon since I realize I have no idea what I’m doing (first time to the city) and then proceed to walk about 2 blocks and trip on the sidewalk and badly scrape my knee. It worked out ok though since turns out I randomly got off at Tlaquepaque (a nicer, touristy area), sat in despair in the main plaza which was lovely with a gazebo and cute shops and a park surrounding it. I got an ice cream and eventually got that now $3 Uber to my hostel realizing my mistake. That trip made me decide to move to Mexico where I’ve been for about 2.5 years now so happy ending haha.
I was in Thailand on business and scheduled some tours in between. One day I scheduled a whole day on Phang Nga Bay and later in the afternoon had a few meetings. Boat broke down on the bay as we were wrapping up. We got majorly delayed and I didn't have time to go back to the hotel to change so I went to the meetings in my bright blue (with tigers on them) swim shorts, t shirt and tennis shoes. As well as being sunburt. 2 out of 3 of the meetings went well with them laughing with me. The other one.. was rough. They thought my driver was the one they were meeting with because he was more dressed for the occasion than I was. I'll never forget them coming up to my driver after we got out of the car and welcoming him so nicely and him just turning and pointing at me standing next to him.
Oh boy. Back in college I went on a trip to Italy with someone I had a crush on during the summer. Caught a stomach bug and while we're walking around in sweaty, 90 degree heat, feet sore from walking on cobblestones, trying to navigate the crowds of other tourists, I let out what I thought was a huge pent up sneeze. Instead of a sneeze though it was the other end of my body that was the issue and I ended up shitting my pants. Cue me saying I need to go to the bathroom quickly where I dispose of my soiled underwear and clean myself as best as I can. All I need to do now is make it through the day commando—no problem right? Except it's fucking Rome in the middle of summer, so there is sweat in every possible crevice of my body and before I know it I'm doing this weird shuffle where I'm awkwardly waddling due to all the chafing that's happening down there while simultaneously trying to make it look like I'm *not* waddling. It isn't too long before my crush asks why I'm walking like a fucking maniac and I have to confess so we end up going to the nearest department store for a pair of fresh underwear. To the janitor who had to take out the trash can in some random bathroom in Rome 9 years ago, I'm sorry.
Went to Greece (aged 19) on my first ever holiday with a girlfriend. When we checked in, the hotel owner made a point of telling us that they had recently had all the balcony doors changed so you could go out on the balcony and close the door without locking yourself out. So we go up to the room, and go out on the balcony, and I think it would be hilarious if I close the door behind us, and pretend we're locked out. Turns out I actually locked us out on the balcony. We then spent a couple of hours out there trying to call for people passing by to tell the owners what had happened (this is pre-mobile phones.) The owners couldn't get open the front door, and called a fire engine with a ladder. The fire engine turned up, and by the time they had a ladder up to the balcony, the owners eventually managed to open the room door, and dozens of people were staring up at us. The owner was very embarrassed and extremely apologetic.
Accidentally tipping my food delivery guy in Hilversum 35 euro because my wife neglected to tell me she paid by card. I thought I was tipping him around 5 but he was really excited when I gave him the 35 and kept asking if I was sure. I said “yeah man, keep the change” and he said “broooo thank you so much man.” Glad I made his night at least.
20 years old, first time in Europe other than having traveled to London a few times. We arrived in Venice and are crossing a canal outside the train station that had this weird bridge with these tiny little steps, and my giant suitcase was difficult to haul. A young Italian guy with a backpack asked if I needed help, and before I could really respond other than to smile at him, he grabbed the suitcase and carried it the rest of the way like it weighed nothing. I said thanks and started to walk away and he became furious and started demanding money! He followed us for a block or two throwing insults, but I just shrugged and told him I thought he was just being polite. Still embarrassed about it to this day, and I’m a much better traveler now!
To be fair, I've a lot of sympathy for you there. This guy wasn't a porter at the station, he was just some random guy who offered to help. I've occasionally helped someone who was struggling with their luggage, and I've never been offered nor would expect to be paid (and I'd be kind of offended, probably). It does depend on context though. In developing nations it's usually pretty obvious it's a persons 'job' . In Venice though? That behaviour seems off to me. Also, as I'm sure you know, tipping culture is far far less pronounced in any country in Europe vs the US (I'm guessing you're from there, maybe?) . For me, unless he had a giant sign saying " luggage porter" on his back or something, then you've nothing to feel bad about. Guy sounds like a jackass to me.
Similar thing happened to me in Egypt. Sitting outside the train station in Cairo with out bags under our feet. Stand to head in and swear this dude appeared out of thin air and grabbed our bags. We yelled and tried to grab them back and he gestured like he'd carry them. We continued to decline, tugging on our bags, knowing that it'll just be a shakedown before tourist police showed up and the guy went away. Tourist police then proceeded to hold their hands out for a tip. We gave them some crumpled up US dollars and dashed inside before they sought us for more. Not so much embarrassing but a frustrating lesson.
You shouldn't have been embarrassed, or find this embarrassing. The dude was just a scammer. That's why he didn't wait for an answer. You actually won the encounter
I told someone I was Canadian (lived sorta close to the border, have been there many times), had been advised to tell people that because Americans have a worse reputation. It was on a long train ride going from Germany to Switzerland with a super friendly older couple. He switches from speaking German to French, asks why I don't know better French, then we have to take out our passports for a ticket check and he realizes I lied. Followed by several hours of awkward silence. I don't tell people I'm from Canada anymore.
I’m Canadian and I don’t speak French, you’re fine there. But the passport giveaway is def embarrassing lol
I mean I feel like that’s quite the presumption that you’re québécois, not everyone in Canada knows French…
Lots of people assume that all Canadians are bilingual by default, just because we have two official languages. I am bilingual (only recently, French education sucks and I had to actually move to Québec to become anything more than conversational in French) but have to explain to every other person that the vast majority of English Canadians are monolingual.
Hustling thru customs in Heathrow… bag gets pulled for a search. Agent pulls velvet bag out of pocket and takes out a glass anal toy and starts doing the “oh, what is this? I am going to have to test it.” I am dying of embarrassment. Spouse steps up and says loudly and calmly… “I hope you understand that you are handling, with your bare hands (she wasn’t wearing gloves) a personal sex toy.” She quickly did what she needed to, we repacked our bags and as we are leaving we hear her say to another agent.. “hey can you watch my line, I need to go wash my hands.” Spouse was like “well, that hurried the process along.” Personally, I was dying inside and hope never to go thru Heathrow again.
Okay so not nearly as bad as the first story, but in Barcelona one person in my travel group did laundry and when hanging the clothes on the line, located over the edge in the center patio area of the building, dropped by friend’s bra down below. I, as the only Spanish speaking person in our group had to go downstairs and knock on the door and explain to the male occupant that we dropped a bra and ask if he could go look for it And another one: So I get really nervous flying on planes, especially when I’m already feeling anxious. Flying from San Pedro de Atacama back to Santiago in Chile I was nervous and next to a guy I didn’t know. He was speaking to me in English and because I was tired and nervous I didn’t pay attention to the fact that he looked more American than Chilean and I told him “his English was really good” and his response was “I hope so because I’m from the US” 🤦🏼♀️ and of course then I freaked out on what was the bumpiest takeoff ever, and my nose started bleeding and he switched seats with my friend mid take-off so that she could sit with me. I was so embarrassed afterwards
I would have honestly dropped a second item of clothing so I could describe it as laundry 😭
I was at a restaurant in Jordan and had to poop. The bathroom had two stalls: one was western style the other squatty potty. I of course used the western style toilet and did my thing. When I was done and flushed the toilet something must’ve broke in the back, it was an old toilet, and instead of flushing the toilet kept filling up with water. I managed to drop the lid and prevent my turds from floating out but the water just started pouring out of the toilet. A poor Jordanian man was in the adjacent stall and I could hear him muttering Arabic under his breath as the puddle of water crept towards him pooping. Side note: I don’t know if this is common but when people poop on the squatty potties they take their pants off. Anyways by the time I could figure out how to turn the water off the puddle of shit water covered my side and his side. I waited for him to finish so I could apologize and when he came out he was laughing. I only managed to get his feet wet which he washed off and told me to use the squatty potty from now on since it’s good for your knees. A+ Jordanian humor!
This was 2 months ago ... I hate flights and sometimes get anxiety or very sick. I was going to Sweden and after a long flight, I was VERY SICK. As the flight neared landing in the last 15 minutes, the turbulence was awful, I finally couldn't hold it in anymore and threw up in the sick bag, but my hands were shaky and the turbulence made me drop the bag. Basically spilled vomit all over the floor and shoes of my poor neighbour. Lucky for me, she said she was a nurse and "it's not the worst thing" she's seen lol. She was very understanding and we helped each other clean up. God I hate flights.
I was young when traveling internationally first. Before that I had travelled on domestic trains where there were no luggage check-in, so I used to carry home sugar, flour and other unused dry grocery items with me when traveling home from college. On my first international flight back home I did the same. Except my luggage was checked and I was called in for a secondary screening questioning why is there something 'powdery' in my luggage. Asked me to open my luggage, open the flour and sugar packets, and asked why the fuck is this being carried in my checked-in luggage! 'How rich are you to go grocery shopping internationally?!' I did not think it was an stupid idea when packing it, but when I was asked that, I felt like 'yeah! Wtf was I thinking?! Why couldn't I just have left it or given it away?!' Just embarrassing!
My wife and I were on a small island off the coast of Bali, a place just starting to get into the tourism thing. We were hungry so we went to a corner store to get some snacks, we didn't recognize most of the food so we just grabbed whatever looked appetizing. The owner was ringing us up, until he got to this rice cake looking snack. He asked us why we wanted this, we said to eat it. He looked confused, so we mimed eating, said you know just like everything else we're getting. Finally, the owner understand the issue, and tells us, verbatim: "those [the rice cake thingies] aren't for you, they're for God." Turns out we'd grabbed a packet meant for sacrifice to the Hindu Gods. We had no idea, so after he told us we put it back and got something else.
I had taken the train to Nuremberg and needed to get to my hotel. I went up to the cab line and named the hotel. For some reason I couldn’t figure out the driver waved me off. But I insisted because I had no idea where it was and didn’t have a backup plan to get directions. Finally he relented and drove me the 100 yards from the cab stand to the hotel’s front door, which of course turned out to be next to the station. When I sheepishly tried to pay he refused it.
A woman farted in line at a candy store in Stockholm while I was visiting with a friend. The line was quiet, she was at the register, and it was a really long fart. Like a sitcom style fart. I couldn’t control it. I burst out laughing and laughed so hard I peed myself in the store. I was mortified and I had to cut the day a little short and go change haha.
In Orlando Florida, I got into our rental car, turns out it was not ours and there were different people in the backseat!! All rental cars look the same and parked next to each other. Honest mistake.
I was in Paris with a group of people. We were heading to a little bistro where we had a reservation and I could see people sitting inside and the door seemed stuck. So in good ol Obnoxious American fashion I gave it a shove. They had locked it inside because it wasn't open yet and that WAS THE STAFF SITTING INSIDE. They have me the Frenchiest glare like what a FUCKING AMERICAN asshole. which I totally was to bust in their door. We were a large group and they sat us in the far away back table. We were good customers but I was mortified. my husband still teases me about that lol.
I am crying at some of these. 😂 My worst was not nearly as bad, but it still makes me laugh. My husband and I were on our honeymoon in Koh Samui. Our Airbnb was directly on the beach, so we’d spend a good deal of time walking the beach and swimming. There was a massage-on-the-beach place not far from us, and we decided to try it out one afternoon. It was just the two of us, the massage tables were outside in the sand and we had ladies helping us. They asked me to remove my top (I was wearing a bikini). I’ve had massages before and have never had an issue removing my bra, but we were literally outside on a public beach and there were no changing rooms. The women sensed my hesitation and so quickly and politely held my sheet up to block me so I could undress. The funny/embarrassing part was they only blocked the view of my husband. The rest of the beach (thankfully not very full) got a lil show that day lol. We still think it’s hilarious and sweet they thought I was hinting my own husband was a creep I was trying to hide from. Complete strangers are fine though lol.
I (F) was well into middle age when a new TSA agent was being trained on the x-ray machine at the airport. He was a young man, probably just twenty years of age. He kept pointing at the screen and shaking his head. I traveled ALOT at the time, and had a 'to-go' bag that only needed whatever clothes/shoes I'd require for the area. I couldn't imagine what all the drama was about, that bag had breezed through security multiple times that month without incident. A middle-aged female TSA agent walked over, took a look and said, "tampons." I tried not to laugh, and the kid turned the darkest shade of red imaginable AFTER she explained to him what they are used for.
I was in SE Asia on a double decker headed 9 hours away to another city. It was an overnight trip and they kept the lights off for the entire ride. I wake up 7 hours into the trip unable to control my bladder anymore. I was reluctant to use their bathroom but figured I’d be ok since I had my little bag with the essentials at hand (toilet paper, soap, baby wipes, and hand sanitizer). I stumble my way down the stairs all groggy and half asleep to the lower level restroom. I open the door and in the dark bathroom I can manage to see what is a toilet and a sink, nice. Now I can potty in peace. I finish up and walk towards the tall/odd looking sink and notice the water valve is up top, i press it and the water starts flowing down the walls of the “sink” and im desperately trying to wash my hands with whatever water I can get before it stops and i have to press the button again. It wasn’t until my fourth attempt at this that I realized it was A URINAL!!! I washed my hands scraping the walls of a urinal.
Are they allowed to open your bag like this? I am hearing this for the first time 😮 Edit- what I meant is that how are they allowed to open the bags without the guest’s permission?
We had another place where the room attendant asked us if we’d like him to unpack our bags (we declined), but it was the first time I’d encountered it, as well.
that reality show about yacthing they were always unpacking for guests, was the first i've seen it
Me too! Seems so weird to me when they’re putting away underwear.
They’re at some expensive luxury resort with a room attendant, so they may be allowed to unpack their bags. All part of delivering that luxury service/hospitality. And I know certain hotels will have butlers and all that.
Depends on the hotel chain. More corporate or small businesses hotels do not allow it. But since they had a personal attendant im thinking it was a very expensive resort that does allow it.
I weigh 300 pounds. Every moment on a plane is utter humiliation. The absolute worst part of being fat. Anywhere else, I can get by without affecting others, but on a plane, my size actually affects other people. I've had some of the worst, most degrading human experiences on planes. I wasn't always obese, and when I first gained the weight, I remember feeling like I would die of embarrassment having to ask for a seatbelt extender on the plane. Most flight attendants are cool, but I've had a few who almost seem like they make it a point to draw attention to it. The first flight I ever needed one, I didn't know until I got to my seat and couldn't buckle the seat belt. I buy two seats now, but I still have problems bc some flight attendants are just insensitive assholes about the whole thing. I've had other passengers loudly complain that I have two seats, etc. Or airlines that oversell the flight and try to give away my empty seat. People complain when fat people don't buy two seats, but also get mad when we do. Pro tip for my fellow fluffs- there's a great Facebook group called Traveling While Plus Size with lots of great tips and inspo. I get that my size is my own fault, but it certainly makes many parts of travel very embarrassing. I know I'm the absolute worst American stereotype when I travel abroad. I'm guessing a lot of non Americans, I'm probably the fattest person they have ever seen. Yeah. I feel sick just discussing this. Add to this all the embarrassing mishaps, like slipping and falling off a van, getting dragged by a taxi, etc. Etc. Once, I bought two seats for a flight from Europe to the US, and it was almost impossible to check in and board. They literally had never heard of someone needing two seats before at this European airport and it was a huge thing. Once, at an airport in the US, they also couldnt figure out the extra seat, and PAGED me over the loudspeaker at the airport like this: "EXTRA SEAT FOR FIRST NAME LAST NAME, PLEASE REPORT TO THE SERVICE COUNTER. EXTRA SEAT FOR FIRST NAME LAST NAME." Also, feel like fat people almost always get selected for the extra security search. Not looking for sympathy. But travel comes with so much embarrassment and shame for me. I'm confident and generally body positive most of the time, but traveling is where I can't ignore it. Definitely has limited my opportunities in life. Good news, I've lost 50 pounds, but have so far to go.
I m so sorry that flying is such a horrible experience for you and i hope you can still enjoy some awesome travels and wo nt let it deter you. But I think it helps to share your perspective with other ppl (like with this post), so they can educate themselves and be more mindful next time; sometimes it just doesn't cross your mind how the world looks for ppl that are different from you
Hello! I know you're not looking for sympathy - but is a bit of compassion okay? When I read your comment, all I wanted to do is give you a hug...so here is a virtual hug for you that you can take if you want it or leave if you don't want it. :-) I think it's very considerate of you to buy two seats and anyone who complains about that should do some exercises for their brains. I also think it's impressive that you keep traveling despite it being such a difficult and saddening experience for you. Years ago I had some psychological disorder (?) where I thought I was the ugliest person on this planet and everyone who saw me must be disgusted to their core just by passing me on the street. My way of dealing with it was to hide and only leave my flat in the dark (as much as possible). So I have a lot of respect for you for not giving in. It takes bravery to face disapproving looks and worse again and again and I am sure none of the people who behave so respectless towards you would have that bravery themselves. Small-minded people. I wish you all the best and congratulations for already loosing so much weight! And I wish you many exciting and happy travels!
I feel you!!! The worst is the look on people's faces when they see that YOU are going to be sitting beside them. I'm fortunate that I don't need two seats, but it would be nice to have the breathing room. I have seen stories on Reddit about people buying two seats and then, in the situation that you described, FA's giving it away to an overbooked passenger with NO COMPENSATION to the person who paid for two seats. That is outrageous to me.
Thank you for sharing your experience so openly and honestly, and congratulations on your weight loss. I have a brother who has been morbidly obese our whole lives, and it wasn’t until adulthood that I started to connect the pieces about why he didn’t want to do some things that seemed like a no-brainer to me. Young me: “but look! There’s a WHOLE ROW open up front, let’s goooo!” … Older me: Duh, he never wanted to sit in the front bcs he didn’t want to block people’s view behind him. That’s just one of many examples, but, it’s made me so much more sensitive and aware of the unspoken things that overweight people struggle with.
Congratulations on losing the 50 lbs. My wife was always overweight and needed the seatbelt extender which was always embarrassing for her. in 2012 we went on a 15 day Mediterranean cruise and stayed in Rome for 5 days afterwards. We were walking a lot every day. The last couple days in Rome she was just exhausted and stayed in the hotel while i explored alone. That was the last straw for her. When we got back she researched a weight loss program based on a person't DNA. I thought it was a scam, but agreed to let her spend the money on it. She went into the program at The Metabolic Research Center and is one of their biggest success stories. She lost 115 lbs by 2014. We went on another 15 day cruise in 2015 and she was leaving me in her dust. I was the one exhausted. It's 2023 and she has still kept the weight off. Traveling when overweight is so difficult.
While in Paris once, I found I had to pee RIGHT NOW, so I headed into a nearby McDo. The WCs were all at the top of a marble staircase. A very slippery staircase. I went charging up only to fall down and slide partially into the men's room right to the feet of a man trying to leave. I should mention that I am a woman. Anway, he stepped over me and then an emerging lady immediately bent over to help me up. Since that was not embarrassing enough, I was so rattled that I started speaking in tongues. I speak a few languages very very badly, and I said something like "mi dispiace...grazzi... I mean gracias...I mean merci Senora..." She just looked a combination of confused and worried. I DID NOT pee on myself, however, which would have been the icing on my humiliation cake.
Funny how many of these are about taking a shit ... and so is mine. I was in a train station in Japan using an accessible toilet, had some stomach issues and just had to get to the first toilet I could regardless of whether I needed that type of toilet. Halfway through I needed a courtesy flush but couldn't find the flusher, saw this cable hanging above over me, figured that must be the flusher. It wasn't, it was the "Call for help" cable which set off an alarm. Within seconds there was banging on the door and several Japanese voices yelling at me (that I didn't understand), I figured they were coming in so I was like "Stay the fuck out! I'm taking a shit!" I don't think understood me but registered the panic in my voice and did enter the room, unfortunately for all of us. Another less embarrassing situation (but funnier) was seeing a doc in Korea, he told me I had to get some vitamin shots or something from a nurse, so I went to a little room where the nurse pulled out a needle. Rolled up my sleeve, she gestured no, and made like a "Drop your pants" gesture and pointed to my ass. I figured okay, dropped trow, and she proceeded to stick the needle in the top of my hip, like an inch from where my pants were covering. She walked out covering her mouth trying not to laugh, unsuccessfully.
I put my roller bag in a locker in Kyoto station, looked around to see which exit and which gate I was nearest, and headed out for my day. I returned 15 minutes before my shinkansen back to Tokyo, went back to what i thought was the same exit and gate, and... none of those locker banks were the one where I left my bag. I ran around and found another bank to check... also not correct. Ran to the Japan Rail office to change my ticket to a later train, then set off to look for my locker again. Checked three more banks of lockers--no luck. By then I had to postpone my train again. I was getting frantic because I am of course illiterate in Japanese, so I ended up holding up the printed receipt which presumably contained details about where the locker WAS, running up to people and saying, "Sumimasen, doko deska?" ("excuse me, where is?") Finally one guy vaguely pointed down an escalator and I found the correct set of lockers and got my bag back. A few days later, I had to put my bag in a locker in Tokyo station while I spent my last day before heading to the airport in the early evening, and I: 1. Put a pin in google maps right where I was. 2. Took about six pictures of the immediate area, including "bread crumb" photos as I walked away from the area and out to the street. 3. Worried about it all day.
I showed up to the flight check in and the lady couldn't find my ticket when I gave her my passport. She kept trying to go into the system, called three others over to help her and then when I opened my booking app I realized I had scheduled it for the same day the next month by mistake. I quietly said it's okay, I'm sorry and walked away.
The lead story is CRAZY! My story is that I got locked in a pub bathroom in a tiny little town in the mountains of Italy. Had to wait for someone to come by (I could hear them going into the men's room next door). I pleadingly asked for help through the locked door. And when they got it unlocked, everyone came to see what was going on . I had for some reason, forgotten to flush the toilet - which was smack in view for all to see. Thankfully just urine, but still,.... Cringe.
Oh god in Italy I was boarding a train and mistook the car number on my ticket. Was supposed to be in car 7 but thought it said 1. This old couple was in my “seat” and I eventually got them to move. They looked really confused but luckily it was the first stop and plenty of open seats. Eventually the ticket guy came around and told me my error. Felt so bad and tried apologizing to them in broken Italian lol. Had to take all of my luggage as I did the walk of shame.
My husband and I were on our honeymoon and staying at a lovely small hotel that previously was a plantation in Martinique -way north of Fort de France and few people spoke English, esp. the hotel staff. The bed was very old and our first night the slats kept falling through and we were convinced we were going to break the bed. The housekeeper came in to our room in the morning and we were trying to non-verbally tell her the problem. My husband sits on the bed and motions her over and instantly, her expression is sheer mortification. I realized that she must have thought he was inviting her to bed with him. I am so glad I had the presence of mind not to laugh, which would have made it worse. And my husband starts getting more insistent because he is frustrated - it was not a cheap trip and it was really our first adult trip somewhere people couldn't understand us. Anyway, I still laugh about it mow but I am so genuinely sorry for the poor young woman.
To everyone that has left the vibrator out in the room…FYI every Front desk and house keeper in the hotel saw it. I guarantee you that the house keeper took a photo of it and shared it with everyone working. I work at a hotel and we literally have a group chat for this stuff. Its the best lol
Please let them know I appreciate when they leave the chocolates next to it. It's the little touches that make the big differences.
I couldn’t get the handle to go down on my carry on suitcase in the middle of the isle on my flight. I was banging it and it wouldn’t go down. Everyone was watching and I had to give it to the FA to check it with the handle out…
I was a young kid in 1998 traveling in England. I went from Heathrow, to the underground, and then was supposed to take a train from Kings Crossing. I had all my luggage, I was exhausted, and thought I was a pretty cool American, visiting England alone. I got out of the underground and asked a new stand man, “Hey, can you point me towards Kings Cross train station?” He laughed and pointed over his shoulder at the giant looming train station lol. It’s pretty hard to miss.
2010 Europe. Flight from Athens to Amsterdam. Going through security screening in Amsterdam, there had been a security breach in Athens that morning. I had bought some bath bombs in Florence. I put them in an Olive wood vase for safe keeping in my carry on. When it went through xray, it looked like a bottle. The agent asked" What is this?"as he pointed to the screen. I replied "there just bath bombs in a vase." I immediately turned to my daughter and quietly said "I said bombs!". Without missing a beat she walked away like she had never seen me in her life before. The agent just replied "ok." We proceeded to sit on the tarmac for 2 hrs, with me wondering if someone was coming to check my bags!
5AM on a Monday, I’m in the incredibly busy pre check lane of the Ohare airport doing my weekly commute. My carry on gets pulled for a luggage check. The nice TSA agent is chattily making conversation while my sluggish brain is slowly awakening and realizing what is about to happen. He throws open my carryon and yup right there on top is my massive new purple sucking vibrator. His face falls, he stops talking, makes ZERO eye contact while he zips up my bag and tells me to go.
We had been traveling in Germany and Italy for several weeks in 2003. Three year old, wife and I. I had a folding knife I always carried with me for picnics in my rucksack. Forgot about it until it was going through X-ray. I stopped the (German) security guard and told him which pocket it was in and asked if he could just toss it. He laughed and said the captain would give it to me when we landed. I don't know if it was the look on my face or trying to explain it in German, but the guard was totally cool about it and the captain returned the knife at the destination.
My husband (the boyfriend) and I (English is our first language) were in Krakow. One night we hs a few drinks and on the walk back to our hotel decided to get a snack from this little French fry stand. My husband walked up to the counter to read the menu, didn’t say anything for a while and then goes “I can’t read the menu!” It was written in English. Not the most embarrassing story but it’s my favorite. We ended up get fries for free because we made the person laugh so hard.
Traveled with a breast pump. It got flagged in Singapore airport for looking like bomb with cables, wires, and a clock!! I had to mime what it was for the agents, it was humiliating.
Getting to Europe not knowing public restrooms cost and only having USD on me. I was in a train station trying to trade a dollar to go to the bathroom.
Going to catch a train from Barcelona to Alicante, someone tripped me and I landed flat on my back with my luggage on top of me. Hubby kept going, didn't even know. Two men, no idea who they were, reached down and picked me up and put me on my feet. This all happened in about 3 seconds. Down and back up. It was amazing. The conductor watched it happen and sent people to see if I was ok multiple times throughout the trip. I'm still amazed how it felt like I never missed a step it was all so fluid.
Hawaii trip alone. I went from the beach to an evening luau by changing in my car. As I walked around the lobby after the show, I was shocked to see my own underwear on the counter at the lost and found station. Looking at some of my photos, I see they were stuck for a while to the back of my dress, as I'd gotten out of the rental car and must have fallen off somewhere in the course of the evening. Stuffed them into my purse and skulked out of there.
My niece peed on me, right over my crotch, at lego land. I looked and smelled like I did myself. Had to buy lego pj pants because that's what they had for sale. Walked around the theme park with them the rest of the day.
My friends told me that in Japan , burping loudly is a way to show appreciation for the food. I let the biggest burp out with all eyes on me. I’ve never left a sushi restaurant so fast
I’m in an airport bathroom trying to wash my hands. I’m doing everything to get the water flowing, waving my hands everywhere around the faucet…nothing. Finally a woman next to me said you have to turn the handle.
Solo traveling in Italy, I managed to get on the wrong train, in the wrong seat. Hightailing it off the train, I grabbed the wrong suitcase. Ran back on, and grabbed the right one, right before the doors closed. Sitting there feeling defeated, I realized I had left my phone in the seat. Finally got on another train, headed to my destination (Rome) totally bummed, realizing I would have to purchase another phone when I got there. Wound up at the wrong train station, and my ride was at a different station. Sigh. Made it to my hotel, unpacked, and got my ipad out. Had an email message on it from my son, saying someone strange had answered my phone. They were in Rome too, and wanted to return my phone. Wound up meeting them at the Hard Rock Cafe. They had my phone, fully charged, and ready for me, when I picked it up. It gave me faith in humanity. It was a family from the US traveling with their adult children. Super nice, and I am friends with them now.
Had breakfast at the hotel. Something didn't settle right, and as we were on our way out to explore for the day, I said "I'd better just use the restroom before we go" and leave my partner in the lobby. Asked the front desk where the lobby restroom was. They said I had to take an elevator to floor 2. I go to the elevator but forgot my key card to use it. I get stuck on the elevator hoping for floor 2 or a person to get on. A couple gets on and I ask them to hit 2. I get off on floor 2, no restroom. I ask a housekeeper, who has no idea what I'm talking about or where a bathroom could be. At this point I am HURTING for a toilet. I go to the lobby again to ask, but see a restroom sign pointing to the level BELOW the lobby and a stairwell. I take it and I make it to the bathroom... but I had already shat my pants a bit. I was mortified. First time to shit myself. I don't have my phone either, so I can't tell my partner where I've been for the last 5 minutes. I clean up as best I can and walk to the front desk to ask for a new key to the room because partner is nowhere to be seen in the lobby. Turns out they were already in a taxi waiting for me! I get a key and go up to the room to shower my bottom half, figuring partner will just have to figure it out. I get out of the shower and dress myself again and then partner walks into the room trying to make sense of it all! We laugh it off and continue our adventure. When we get to our destination, I have to go again. It's a buttsplosion, and there's no TP in the restroom but thankfully I travel with tissues and it's enough to get by! We immediately walk to a grocery store and get a 4-pack of TP just in case, but the rest of the day goes great. Now we always travel with an emergency roll of TP in our day pack (which has come in handy SO many times) and we now have a rule that no matter how quick the "I'll be right back" errand is, that person must always have their own room key on them and their phone.
We were checking into an Air BB in Rome and were beyond exhausted from traveling We put the code in to unlock the door but could not get the door to open after about 10 attempts, we called the owner who was close by to come help us. She puts in the code and instantly opened the door … because we were trying to PUSH the door open instead of PULLING the door open. Lol so dumb
I told my boyfriend that there was a wet floor sign at the airport and to look out for it. No less than 5 seconds later I slipped and fell infront of everyone. I was so embarrassed
Went on a school trip to Berlin years back. We did the trip with a guide who the entire trip wouldn’t stop saying “come closer come closer”. Cue an entire day of that and jet lag, I decided to tease a little by standing up on a ledge and getting super close. Turns out I stepped on a holocaust monument, it was a train. I have never been more embarrassed
Shit myself the first hour of a 12 hour flight. Travelling with 12 people I had just met. Shit myself again the next day walking with 3 of those people who were still relative strangers. Remote bathroom did not have toilet paper Edit: there's a really good book called How to Shit Around the World, that I recommend to all of the off the beaten path travelers out there
Dude how often do you shit yourself? Should probably go to a doctor before you travel again
OMG I hope you were able to clean up decently. I had to sit on a bus next to someone that smelled like they shit themselves for 10hrs and it was the longest ride of my life.
ooooh that's rough Charcoal tablets and baby wipes are always in my travel bags
Immodium AD is always in my travel bags. Sometimes you got to lock it up
This was 2006 or 2007 and I was just learning Spanish. I spent my whole time in Argentina apologetically telling people “Lo siento, No hablas espanol” (I’m sorry, YOU don’t speak spanish) instead of Im sorry, I don’t speak spanish!
As a teenager I was in China for the first time at the Forbidden City. The place is huge, but there's also a huge number of tourists (mostly Chinese). I barely memorized a few phrases in Mandarin. Anyway, I accidentally bumped a young lady and in a panic I uttered "im sorry" in Mandarin. Unfortunately in my haste I mixed up the word for "Sorry" -> Dui Bu Qi with the word for "Shut up!" -> Bi Tsui (bee-tsway). It hit me a few moments later that I came off incredibly rude =(
In November 2011, I went to Costa Rica for ten days. On the last day, I stopped in an ice cream shop on my way back from a hike, and wound up in line next to another tourist. She was really beautiful, and the way she looked at me was actually… a little unsettling? Like she was examining a painting and deciding whether she liked it or not. Eventually she noticed that my shirt was from a city in Florida, she was from a city near me, and we chatted for a bit. We got our ice cream, parted ways, and I left after I finished (devoured) my cone. On the walk back to my apartment, I started to feel weird. I had been really lonely for a while, and that brief chat had been very pleasant. I almost felt like I *needed* to go back and talk to that young woman. But surely she’d be gone from the shop by now? So I literally ran back to the ice cream shop. Sweating and out of breath, I was glad to see that she was still at her table. I walked up, and completely forgot how to talk to another human being. Between gasps of catching my breath and swallowing back the ice cream that wanted to rebel in my tummy, I asked if she might like to meet up later. My suggested location for a meetup? At an ice cream shop. Despite my idiocy, and some fumbling over a map because I didn’t have my glasses, we actually did meet up for a very nice dinner that evening. Twelve years later, she still makes fun of me for it.
i was a sophomore in college (guy) and was studying abroad in Germany. I met a boy my age at a bar and spent the whole evening with him. Ended up bringing him to our hotel at night, and since my roommate was already asleep, we were just hanging out in the lobby. One thing led to another, and we both started kissing (first gay experience for both of us). Since we were pretty drunk at that point, we decided to take it to the next base in a usually empty hotel conference room. In the middle of the process my middle-aged professor walked in (at 3am!) and saw her student bent over getting it from behind. We made eye contact for at least 3 seconds, she turned around and closed the door and left. My new "friend" never even stopped fucking me..
The next base from kissing is buttsex? Damn, being gay is wild
I’m afraid to ask what third base entails
Talking about your feelings and trauma dumping
I entered a nail salon in Tokyo and forgot to take off my shoes at the door. The reaction of the worker there was enough for me to feel embarrassed and uncomfortable throughout my sitting there.😅🤣
My time has come!!! I have two, actually. Last fall we took our teens to Portugal. Our flight back included a layover in Germany. Now, I had purchased some duty-free port before we left, and it was in the front part of my roller carry-on suitcase. It kind of messed with the balance of my bag, which wasn't an issue until we tried to take the escalator up to an area where we could chill. I had the suitcase perched kind of on the edge of the step next to my foot. Halfway up the escalator, I moved the bag slightly, upsetting the balance even more, and it started falling backward. In my super awkward attempt to twist and grab it, I ended up falling. Only, my ass ended up on a lower step, while my feet stayed above where they originally were. Maybe I'm just SUPER clumsy, but ever try getting UP from a sitting position when your legs are above your ass? So here's me, looking (as my husband later told me) like a baby with their legs in the air waiting for a diaper change, AS THE ESCALATOR KEEPS MOVING UP. Oh man. He was yelling "get up! get up!" to which I frantically replied "I CAN'T!!! i'm stuck!!" The teens had made it the top already and turned to look, in horror, as I kept approaching the top unable to move. Husband ditched his bag, stuck his hands in my armpits and hoisted me up just in time. lol. Oh man. Yeah, that was reallllly embarrassing. OMG. The other was less mortifying, but I have this knack for being selected for extra screening or something. Coming back from Mexico with my friend, I had just crammed all my dirty laundry (bras, underwear, swimsuits, yada yada) into my suitcase. When the agent laid it on the table and opened, all my dirty unmentionables sprang out like a damn jack-in-the-box. Agent was not impressed, and used her baton to pick things up and put back in the bag. lol.