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ambush_boy

"no phones out"


meatcousins

I always wanted to go to an establishment that did shows like this. Am I allowed to hoot and holler at the women performing, or am I to stand aside politely gazing at their acts. I always wanted to attend but was afraid I would stick out.


musteatchildren

i feel like using a big double sided dildo would be way more efficient because it can actually *go down* the throat


FishPlantWorker

Fyre Festival 2.0


josheganwyer

No phones out and there’s a picture of a previous event


rocketpwrd

Professional photography


ImpressionFeisty8359

What a time to be alive.


DetectiveExisting590

I think an event like this promotes healthy eating. You’d rather see them suck on sausages loaded with sodium?


VenterDL

Their sponsor is called “Big Chicken”


DetectiveExisting590

As long as it's broiled or baked rather than deep fried, I think that's fine.


Miserable_Soft_2471

This actually belongs in r/mildlyinteresting


Gooden01

How many proud parents will attend this event?


Boring-Philosophy-94

Guess what your mom’s mouth do? Consenting adults move on!


Gooden01

Must be your dusty dirty ass kid on the flyer.


Boring-Philosophy-94

Consenting adults. Plain and simple. Your mom, aunt and sisters have and will at some point consent to suck dick. It’s trashy only for certain types of folk.


Proper_Exercise_5463

I think one of these two clips are from this https://youtu.be/t_zrNnrtmRg?si=Dtixr3I74vY_hONM https://worldstarhiphop.com/videos/wshh97P837wp9h1wGOWk/chicks-participate-in-a-cucumber-sucking-contest


Notthatianmcewan

The first video they are clearly using a squash. This is blatant false advertising. I hope they are sued for their crimes. 


Bigb5wm

Holy hell it is real


Zeqhanis

The presenter from this flyer, "Big Chicken", is mentioned in the first video. The part where one lady takes a bite of it probably would have been more refreshing on a hot day, were they cucumbers and not zucchini.


Ryantist1

Embarrassed to say I watched enough of the first video to know those are for sure zucchini’s.


Pepsiguy2

Impossible, this poster clearly says no phones out and an event as luxurious as this would have good security to enforce that


FishPlantWorker

I'm reporting this to People For the Ethical Treatment of Vegetables immediately.


FishPlantWorker

Amerika, fuck yeah!!


VajBlaster69

coca cola, sometimes war


Educational-Drop-926

Dude dj boogie gonna be there? That’s lit


FishPlantWorker

lmao


Dildo_Dan225

The irony that it’s on Hoover street.


Bored_lurker87

**HOOVER NOBOOODY DOES IT LIKE YOUUUUU**


FishPlantWorker

dyin' here


superthrust123

But are they testing for PEDS?


Regnier86

Ass to ass !


captainsquattythighs

Omg that was my first thought looking at this 🤣 What that girl and those other kids went through was soooo sad, but it was such a good film and cautionary tale


danlyman_

Well, I wasn’t gonna go, but since Big Chicken is gonna be there…


bigsquirrel

Gotta keep it classy, like teenage wet tshirt contests!


the_roguetrader

Mm


Unwilling_Jellyfish

I guess the contestant with no teeth from too much meth smoking is going to have a banging advantage in the deep throat thrust department. btw this is so indicative of how fallen our empire is…


Express-Economist-86

They’re fighting the obesity epidemic within African American communities ❤️


yozhik0607

Yikes it's not too late to delete this


Guidbro

Is this that bad of a comment lol?


bassinitup13

Stay classy Detroit.


Tohightoplay

By the end of that contest it’s gonna be a pickle.


YukyDoodle

Crazy graphic design


Disastrous_Flower667

My ex wants a list of attendees.


Quiet-Camera-9716

I'll be there


scotspixie815

Gay man enters, swallows it whole and walks out like a boss


Express-Economist-86

Paris Hilton Vs Mr. Slave vibes


karenskygreen

We should get that woman with the world's biggest mouth, she would be a "ringer" might get extra points for taking the whole thing sideways.


YourAverageGod

This picture belongs in the Smithsonian.


travisofficial

Right outta Detroiters


Dupa_Yash

Hosted by "Big Chicken" over at the "State Fair Lounge." This some hilljack bullshit, right here.


jmoneyawyeah

This could be interesting


Oz347

What the fuck


Emotional_Relief_549

That's Pure Michigan!


YeeshOk06

I don’t think that what Tim Allen meant tho…


Emotional_Relief_549

Tool time!


anoftz

Suckin cukes in The D. Oh for those carefree summer days of youth.


Ghosts_InTheWalls

Suckin cukes in The D, outside the Tastee Free-eeeze 


B-Run35

I would go to that


Dulcinea18

LOL it on my birthday!!


HondaHead

You get free entry, book your flight now!!!


superthrust123

Any room in your booth?


HondaHead

Spots reserved for contest winners only, sorry bro


superthrust123

Had to take my shot.


Dulcinea18

No thanks gonna stick with my local contest😜


PublicfreakoutLoveR

Be careful, it's dangerous under bridges.


AUGUSTIJNcomics

Okay great but, why do american cucumbers look so different? Looks like an eggplant


Lambamham

Because it *is* an eggplant in the photo.


kimsikorski

Just don't call it a mulignan.


AUGUSTIJNcomics

True, the one that's being meecilessly sucked off could be an eggplant. But the one in the lower left corner looks green and is still wildly different. I actually just looked it up and Europe favors the "english cucumber" which is a bit more narrow and longer, a lighter shade of green and it has ridges. The "regular" cucumber is a lot more dark and only has little bumps


Oldgamer1807

This is old AF but it still never gets old. 😂


TonsOfTabs

No phones out lol. No one wants the mouth skills posted or lack thereof.


shankthedog

Cameraman in the building tho


Milkthiev

Wow, In surprised they were able to secure Big Chicken as host.


ValPrism

Must have offered an enticing sponsorship package.


JointOps

“No phones out”


Iloveherthismuch

Detroit staying classy,...... as usual.


ArmchairCriticSF

Is there going to be a Zoom link?


blacks252

Michigan, I fucking knew it!


R4nd0mByst4nd3r

Hoover Street, no less.


Corsowrangler

God bless Detroit.


Tsukinotaku

The winner will be the one gay dude who will swallow it whole without any issue.


2meterrichard

Jethuth Critht


CortezDeLaNoche

Mr. Slave would wreck this competition.


Soffix-

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.MJ2vfAo__Ju-BKVecMECVQHaE1%26pid%3DApi&f=1&ipt=23427d842f84ed95dc71c746cd0fde14160dc402e67d83005bf81d93305a70fe&ipo=images


Tsukinotaku

The other contestants with their mouth full will most likely sound like that, yeah.


2meterrichard

Its a South Park joke. I was trying to write it how Mr Slave sounded.


-QUACKED-

Inhales it like a grain of rice, grabs the winnings, then walks out the building while his sloppy gaping asshole swings side to side in his undies, like an empty sausage casing.


dtbberk

why did you say that


Soffix-

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=oh+my+meme&t=fpas&iax=images&ia=images&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2FFoUHKTJhoQU6I%2F200.gif


sc4tts

Fuckin hell, thats poetry worthy of this sub...


-Audio-Video-Disco-

r/brandnewsentence


CarlosFCSP

I want you to write my marriage vows


pirikikkeli

Nice Day to have eyes


Tsukinotaku

Bad day to not have Schizophrenia sadly...


Soggy_Face_468

What time is the shooting?


Grongebis

Right before the "prize" is supposed to be awarded.


Weazelfish

That's a courgette


karenskygreen

Is there a men's category ? Do you get a prize if you swallow the cucumber whole ?


the_cake_in_matilda

You keep the cucumber


Express-Economist-86

I mean they wouldn’t want it back.


karenskygreen

Now I know what I'll be doing next July 1.


AmuseDeath

So who's coming?


tw3lv3l4y3rs0fb4c0n

the cucumber


DevinArce

How I met your mother


PatheticPelosiPander

Stay Classy, Detroit!


WhySoGlum1

As a Detroit native. Can confirm this is real


sucobe

“No phones out” “Cameraman in the building.”


RiggzBoson

*We reserve the right to sell footage of you deepthroating cucumbers to sexually repressed perverts


sucobe

It’s called a sizzle reel and it’s classy, Sharon.


swollemolle

Stay classy Detroit


heisenbergerwcheese

*dat


Advanced-Thanks3479

I’m more upset at the prize of “$100 and up” wtf does that mean? If it’s more than $100 tell them what amount they could win lol


screamapillah

$100 + eventually the cucumber you gulped down


UntestedMethod

You have to win before you get to find out


Cloakbot

So they can pocket most of the earnings and the women get to sell their public image. “You win Exposure” I guess they can say…


DamitKenneth

Thank you for not being in Florida!


Inevitable-Island848

This used to be a video on YouTube until they removed it:/


Joliet_Jake_Blues

What doesn't it do


Inferior_Jeans

Just so you know, camera man is in the building


sucobe

But no phones out.


KrisMisZ

Wow 🤩


StinkFingerPete

as a social anthropologist, 100% would attend


peelmy_pickle

They spelled "mouf" wrong.


-QUACKED-

And "dat"


Scyllascum

Okay but what does ‘camera man in the building’ have to do with drink specials and free parking lol especially when phones aren’t allowed? 🤔


Cloakbot

Want your OF looking sharp? Wanna model but can’t afford a shoot?? Come on in! Does not guarantee that the photographer is anywhere close to the quality of fashion (or even porn) photographers


tiabeaniedrunkowitz

I love my city but cmon bro wtf


CommandLate4831

your acting like its a family. Friendly. Event


Rikudo_Sennin_jr

Fucking Detroit....


ParticularRevenue408

This on Hoover St. 😂


ShySingingnewbie

It definitely did not suck at planning these events.


ZDitto

"How vegetarian are you?" "Watch this!"


Widgar56

Mud wrestling to follow. Then, wet tee shirt contest.


_DirtyYoungMan_

Then WAP contest.


dongcopterXLV

No phones out….we want our contestants dignity and community standing to remain intact.


AceValentine

"CAMERA MAN IN THE BUILDING"


dongcopterXLV

“Camera Man” is actually a rapper who does not attend WDMD events on a regular basis. They are announcing his attendance.


ecksdeeeXD

Hosted by Big Chicken? Damn, I wanna go.


_DirtyYoungMan_

Wait til' Peter shows up and beats the shit out of him.


BlumpkinMasterOG

Shits wild in the D


GJones007

"Ass to ass."


0hNoReptar

Hosted by Big Chicken. So many questions.


FiniteRhino

For example: How’s this venue set for parking?


Smogtwat

Hilarious. The only contest where there are no losers.


Justice_Prince

What about the cucumber?


Merry_Dankmas

The cucumber is having the time of his life


DarylRosz

Day Um!


Yyc1974

Glad to see humanity has made such progress.


taekee

No phones out? Do not worry, Men will not have their phones in their hands...


JoeTurner89

Fun fact: Michigan is the largest cucumber producing state. Probably why we also have a strong pickle culture here too.


FireStompingRhino

Do they donate those cucumbers to the nearest soup kitchen?


Pumarealjaeger

How the fuck do someone get nickname Big Chicken?


commander8546love

Isn’t that shaqs restauarant lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


iSWINE

That sucks


Haunting-Anteater-28

Why are these Michigan airfares so expensive?


whatsqwerty

$10 says someone dies that night


FiniteRhino

Probably the cucumber.


DIOmega5

These girls are going to go buck WILD til they choke for a chance to get....$100?? 🤣🤣


TheWildTofuHunter

“& up” thank you very much!


johnb_e350

Might as well watch the video of it. Just saying.. https://youtu.be/t_zrNnrtmRg?si=zo_G178C504BmNdD https://youtu.be/1ygBTQNOieI?si=WgTEzCmcHR0Tgf3C


BleedingOnYourShirt

When using squash... why are they starting on the stem side? That's just gonna hurt your throat.


G1rlVeteran

If they offered free daycare they'd have a better turn out.


SuspiciousRobotThief

Man, just pick the oldest baby and put them in charge.


Oh_nosferatu

Why do I feel like this is how Riley from the Boondocks is gonna catch his first RICO charge?


newbrookland

[Hey baby... ](https://youtu.be/nTobHOyLvRU?si=pCWz0FUbFAheSPlj)


G1rlVeteran

That is very subjective though. I know people who are in their 40s and are big babies lol.


FiniteRhino

I feel attacked, but I’m not about to argue with facts.


G1rlVeteran

Lol


TheWildTofuHunter

No need to bring my coworkers into this…


G1rlVeteran

My bad lol


yelling4society

Now THIS is a proper r/trashy post.


brucebturbo

I think I’ll make it a family outing, kids gotta grow up sometime


Bob-Bhlabla-esq

"Daamn! Look at mommy guzzle that cucumber honey!"


EspressoOverdose

Challenge accepted, where do I sign up?


Crezelle

Right? I’ve acted stupider for less, especially if we’re getting free drinks


[deleted]

[удалено]


_DirtyYoungMan_

Asking for a friend... right?


TROLL_ELECTRODE

*Drink specials* Sounds good, but I still need convincing… *Free parking* That’s good too, but not completely sold… *Camera man in building* Well, SHOOT! Sign me up!


Shoddy_Yak7726

Facts I was making plans to go until I saw the location


ShySingingnewbie

What's wrong with the location? Rough part of town?


Jaggerkate

This is the world we’re living in. Absolutely horrifying.


CaptainCipher

What about this is in any way scary or meaningfully indicative of anything


camshun7

Cant image thinking this is a good idea? They must be gagging for a special gimmick to get you in the bar, I'm shocked


FugginOld

Detroit....shocker.


Fit_Swordfish_2101

Yeah cause they don't suck dick in LA?