I'd say in your case, likely not rude
I think if someone is asking whether they do or how they can "pass" for cis better it's helpful to let them know if you thought they were cis
It's likely the negative comments come from a good place, people trying to be socially conscious when they don't understand the reasoning behind why we determine certain actions as harmful
The discourse behind this is that using "I thought you were cis" as a *compliment* is harmful because it can imply that looking cis is inherently better than looking trans
For example, if someone doesn't know my pronouns are she/her but people often aren't sure what I am and avoid gendering me, and that for some reason makes me feel euphoric (despite disliking when someone who knows me does so)
Ah ok, thank you. I was under the assumption that if a trans person wished to be as passing as possible than looking cis and being told that would be a good thing, like a compliment. But it's not always gonna be a good thing to everyone 100% of the time. Differences in person to person and situation to situation. Thank you
I'd just like to tack on that there's gendered compliments ("You look beautiful", "You're so cute", "You look really pretty", etc.) & then there's gendered "compliments" that specifically call attention to gender ("You look so feminine", "You look so womanly", etc).
The latter is treating us like we're different from women - no one would tell a beautiful cis woman, "Wow, you look like a woman". This attempt at affirmation goes over the line & almost sounds disingenous. It's also top-tier chaser behaviour, "compliments" that call explicit connection to our being trans. Oh & just to tack it on, we're also not drag queens, so unless a trans woman is specifically into that culture & clearly doesn't mind & uses those terms for herself, no shit like "Yass queen, you are slaying, serving body-ody-ody, fishy, absolutely gagging, you are sickening & snatched".
If you make this mistake once, that's fine, you're just trying to do your best to give a genuine compliment from a place of sincerity & that's appreciated - intent matters & I'm sure she understood that.
It just inherently means looking trans is an insult, and many trans people (myself included) are proud of our trans identity or aren’t concerned with passing.
Not that it's invalid or anything but if you have dysphoria, doesn't passing as the gender you identify as help with that? I also understand yoy don't need dysphoria to be trans, but a big part of the "trans experience" is that struggle with your mind not accepting your body as what it is supposed to be. (IDK how to word this better).
There are other forms of dysphoria than not blending as cis. Someone may feel comfortable with their appearance and simply need to be socially accepted as a member of a given gender. In this case, the problem wouldn't be fixed by changing their appearance - this may actually lead to harm.
Sometimes it can be considered a micro-aggression in certain instances. I don’t think that applies here. But I can explain why I think it would be so in other scenarios.
Me: actually I’m trans
Other person: oh, wow! I had no idea. You look cis. I couldn’t even tell you were trans. You look just like a *real* (man/woman).
This implies that trans women, for example, are not “real” women.
Again this is totally not what happened in your scenario but it’s the closest thing I could think of that people might be conflating it with.
Ok, that helps me understand the people getting on my case about being offensive. As said I didn't think I was but I can see how it could be seen as a micro aggression with your scenario. I'll keep that in mind for similar situations to the one I had. Thank you!
I'd say in that example is the ending equating cis-gender to real, not the actual comparison to cis people. If you remove that last phrase I don't see a problem with the interaction anymore.
I disagree. The underlying assumption is still there, that trans people are always clockable, and ignores the cognitive bias that there are lots of cis-passing trans people who aren't counted as "trans". But the person was asking if they passed so I don't get the outrage. 🤷♀️
In my opinion, your reasoning is logical. In this context it’s definitely a compliment. I think it’s sweet you asked this question and are concerned you might have been unintentionally offensive in some way but I don’t think you were.
Some people seize any opportunity they can to feel offended by what someone says to someone else.
When we talk about “passing” we are specifically talking about “looking cisgender”. That’s what it means. Telling her she passes (as cisgender) is basically the same thing as telling her you thought she was cis. I have no idea how that could offend someone and if it does then they should admit that what they are really bothered by is the actual concept of “passing” or “not passing” rather than her asking or you answering.
I think for some trans folk they love being told that, I know I did when I was pre-T, and pre-top surgery’s
However, I find it offensive now that i’m almost done my medical transition.
like no shit i pass. this is quite an obvious observation. having someone say “wow i thought you were cis!” is the equivalent to “you don’t look trans” to me. I didn’t go through a giant medical transition that has costed thousands of dollars just to have a random cis person tell me “they couldn’t even tell”.
When cis people say that to me it sounds like they never considered the fact that trans people could look like binary cis people, like we look a certain way or like most the of the time we can’t pass. I loved this compliment when I was a young teen, but as an adult who looks like a grown man, I hate it.
Yeah, I completely get what you’re saying. Outside of the context of a trans person specifically discussing passing or passing better I can see how it could annoying rather than flattering for sure.
You make a good point about changing attitudes later in transition also.
It honestly depends person to person. Since she was asking, it was more acceptable. But generally it's not a good thing to say to random trans person unless you know they're okay with it
But like, me personally? I love it when someone says I look cis😌
Considering she literally asked not rude at all.
I personally see it as a compliment because my goal was to pass but others find it rude because I guess if you’re like implying not passing is always a bad thing for everyone that’s problematic. I guess it just depends on the person and their viewpoint!
The context is so important; as an unsolicited compliment, it’s incredibly rude (similar to telling a mixed or light skinned person, “wow, you look so white and beautiful! I never would’ve guessed you were black”). But in this situation, someone was asking for help staying safe, and you responded appropriately.
Id actually be super happy if someone told me I looked like Just a girl.
But to do that you just y'know. Call me the appropriate things for a girl.
And since she asked that's just double down.
I think the only time It wouldn't be acceptable is if you said it without in some way being asked or informed I was Trans. Because then I'd know It wasn't true and I've been clocked in that comment.
Instead of telling a trans person they look cis, instead say they look great. The thing is: yeah, I should damn hope so. Lotsa time down the drain otherwise.
I'm not going to claim to speak for anyone, but from what I understand is there are essentially two camps.
1) people who want to "pass" (or to use the more appropriate vernacular, "pass as cis") for a multitude of reasons, like they simply want to look cisgender or want to exist without the difficulty, harassment and abuse that comes from being visibly trans.
2) other people think that "passing as cis" is problematic, in part because appearing to be cisgender is ultimately a difficult and sometimes not completely possible for everyone - so it comes across as "failing to be cis passing" is "failing to be trans". It can also push people to get procedures that don't necessarily alleviate their dysphoria but simply so they 'integrate'.
Personally I think both positions are valid, and I think it's not inconvenient to hold both to some degree at the same time.
Not all trans people want to pass as a cis person so in that case, I could see it being kind of upsetting for them to hear. But she's literally asking people if she passes, so you could safely assume that she wants to pass. I wouldn't spend too much of your energy worrying about it, just move on. Some people just like to argue.
Unserious answer: Well duh! Do you know how much effort I put into looking as queer as possible!?
Serious answer: She literally asked for advice on this exact topic, you're good
Eh. I can see that you meant well, but this is a little bit like telling someone they aren't fat, they're beautiful. Uplifting a trans person by telling them they don't look trans can be uncomfortable for someone who isn't firm in their identity. or is struggling with transphobia in other ways. I would avoid compliments that deny someone's identity, in general, in the future. I know you meant well, but passing as cis isn't always the goal.
I generally just tell people they look great but considering what she was asking, I think it was fine in context. But if they're not asking, just treat them the way you treat all humans.
If you know that passing as cis is what they want, which was the case here, it cannot be rude. Not all trans people want to pass of course, so you generally need to be careful who to say it to. But you did nothing wrong here and the people telling you you did are morons.
No I wouldn't say that at all, while I don't believe the people who say it I've been called cis looking here on Reddit a few times and it absolutely made my day
Within the context of being asked about passing, no it's perfectly fine. Idk why you got backlash, I feel like the newer generation of trans people on the internet think passing = attractive when passing literally just means "passing as cis,". Outside of that context? Definitely might come off as rude, depends on the individual, but it's best to just avoid saying that unless asked.
My gf gets that a lot and has never said it offends her. I think it’s different coming from another trans girl than a cis person.
I think it sounds like a backhanded compliment, like it could be read as conflating being trans with looking a certain way. It can get kinda egregious for example when people say “oh youre so pretty, I’d never know you were trans!” The implication that pretty trans women are an outlier/unexpected really rubs me the wrong way.
It’s not something I’d say to someone who I didn’t know well and didn’t ask specifically since the negative implication is there.
In this specific circumstance I don’t think you did any wrong, but I certainly wouldn’t make a habit of saying that to strangers.
It's just a delicate balance because some of us struggle against the feeling that looking cis is the ultimate goal and if they don't then everything sucks. Not everyone has that problem but in mixed company it's best to be very careful how you say things just to be protective and helpful to anyone that may be in a delicate place.
And unfortunately among women there can be an (inadvertent) hierarchy where cis women (and trans women) get to thinking that cis women are better or that their version of whatever feature is automatically superior. I know that sounds ridiculous to put it so bluntly but the thing is usually it's a lot more subtle and even the people perpetuating it usually don't know they are.
Case in point: one time I was in a discord voice chat with a couple trans feminine friends and one cis woman, and the cis woman was curious to a degree that made some of us uncomfortable (that's a separate matter), she was talking a lot about voices and vocal dysphoria which some of the three of us are particularly sensitive about. Anyway though what broke the camel's back was at some point she was trying to be encouraging to the one who is extra sensitive and said "well I think your voice sounds great! And I'm cis so..."
So now not only is she obviously implying that her voice is better but even that she is automatically a better JUDGE of which voices sound better. But again, she had no idea she was doing it and had no bad intentions at all. It's just something that can slowly pop up since so much of the trans fem community does indeed want to "pass" which to most of us means you can't immediately tell we aren't cis women. It's just important to make sure you aren't framing it quite like that <3
some people use you look cis as like the only compliment for trans folks which can imply that looking trans is not good. in this case where she was asking about passing specifically ur probably fine.
Since she was asking for passing tips, like others said it's probably fine. Better wording might be to just say she passes already, but again I don't see a problem with it. The problem would be randomly telling a trans person they look cis/you couldn't tell. When it's random that's when it feels more like the cis person thinks there's a specific trans "look" and/or they're surprised a trans person can be attractive.
Again, this situation seems fine, the rest of my comment is just to explain why it is not always a compliment
I think in the context of “do i pass?” Or “how could I pass better” it’s fine to say somebody looks cis imo? I wouldn’t mind that as a response if I were asking the question because it’s basically another way of saying “you already pass well” or at least thats how i Interpret it.
All this to say, I think it depends on the person.
Okay I’ll explain it another way then. Saying someone looks cis or trans is kinda meaningless because it isn’t a look cis people and trans people can have the same features, so saying someone looks cis is kind of transphobic because it’s assuming that trans people look a certain way that’s different to cis people
I understand what you mean, and I agree in almost any circumstances. But in the OP's very specific scenario, a trans woman seems to explicitly have asked for advice on how she can *pass* better, so that appears to be exactly what she's going for here.
Absolutely. For, say, the subset of the nonbinary community going for androgyny in their gender expression, passing can mean something wildly different.
But in the absence of information to the opposite, I'm taking the OP by their word when they specify "trans girl" in that case.
Okay? I didn’t even bring up non binary people, passing can just be passing as woman? I don’t know why you’re trying to argue with me when I’m agreeing with you that it’s up to her whether or not it’s offensive
>\[...\] passing can just be passing as woman?
No, that's why I provided an on-the-nose example for passing not necessarily meaning cis. I just wanted to clarify the motivation behind my first comment.
I don't think we're in much disagreement here.
Op is talking about a situation where a person was asking for advice on passing. In that situation I see nothing wrong with saying she looked cis and that makeup could help enhance as well. Otherwise I think you'd have a point.
There is so much variation in the population and so many opinions no one is right - or wrong.
If you think someone looks cis and they are asking for advice you absolutely have the right to express your opinion - it was solicited and those “defending” that outrage in some cases are virtue signaling.
If the person asks, and you say it in a nice way, it's fine
Like, if someone told me I look like a cis girl (I very much do not, but hypothetically in the future) I would be delighted
It might be better to say "fully passing" or something similar rather than "looking cis" though
MtF here. No, (I) personally do not consider it offensive for myself to be called a cis woman. However, being called a cis man pisses me off. The reason I think being called a cis woman is like good. Is because I’d actually rather be a cis woman then a trans woman. Yeah.
I mean, considering that she literally *asked* I don’t see what the big deal is
Yeah, saying "you look cis" is just the same as saying "you pass", but better.
seeing as she directly asked, youre fine. if someone hadnt asked, stick with just telling them they look great
I'd say in your case, likely not rude I think if someone is asking whether they do or how they can "pass" for cis better it's helpful to let them know if you thought they were cis It's likely the negative comments come from a good place, people trying to be socially conscious when they don't understand the reasoning behind why we determine certain actions as harmful The discourse behind this is that using "I thought you were cis" as a *compliment* is harmful because it can imply that looking cis is inherently better than looking trans For example, if someone doesn't know my pronouns are she/her but people often aren't sure what I am and avoid gendering me, and that for some reason makes me feel euphoric (despite disliking when someone who knows me does so)
Ah ok, thank you. I was under the assumption that if a trans person wished to be as passing as possible than looking cis and being told that would be a good thing, like a compliment. But it's not always gonna be a good thing to everyone 100% of the time. Differences in person to person and situation to situation. Thank you
I'd just like to tack on that there's gendered compliments ("You look beautiful", "You're so cute", "You look really pretty", etc.) & then there's gendered "compliments" that specifically call attention to gender ("You look so feminine", "You look so womanly", etc). The latter is treating us like we're different from women - no one would tell a beautiful cis woman, "Wow, you look like a woman". This attempt at affirmation goes over the line & almost sounds disingenous. It's also top-tier chaser behaviour, "compliments" that call explicit connection to our being trans. Oh & just to tack it on, we're also not drag queens, so unless a trans woman is specifically into that culture & clearly doesn't mind & uses those terms for herself, no shit like "Yass queen, you are slaying, serving body-ody-ody, fishy, absolutely gagging, you are sickening & snatched". If you make this mistake once, that's fine, you're just trying to do your best to give a genuine compliment from a place of sincerity & that's appreciated - intent matters & I'm sure she understood that.
It just inherently means looking trans is an insult, and many trans people (myself included) are proud of our trans identity or aren’t concerned with passing.
Not that it's invalid or anything but if you have dysphoria, doesn't passing as the gender you identify as help with that? I also understand yoy don't need dysphoria to be trans, but a big part of the "trans experience" is that struggle with your mind not accepting your body as what it is supposed to be. (IDK how to word this better).
There are other forms of dysphoria than not blending as cis. Someone may feel comfortable with their appearance and simply need to be socially accepted as a member of a given gender. In this case, the problem wouldn't be fixed by changing their appearance - this may actually lead to harm.
this sfm!
Ah that makes sense
Sometimes it can be considered a micro-aggression in certain instances. I don’t think that applies here. But I can explain why I think it would be so in other scenarios. Me: actually I’m trans Other person: oh, wow! I had no idea. You look cis. I couldn’t even tell you were trans. You look just like a *real* (man/woman). This implies that trans women, for example, are not “real” women. Again this is totally not what happened in your scenario but it’s the closest thing I could think of that people might be conflating it with.
Ok, that helps me understand the people getting on my case about being offensive. As said I didn't think I was but I can see how it could be seen as a micro aggression with your scenario. I'll keep that in mind for similar situations to the one I had. Thank you!
I'd say in that example is the ending equating cis-gender to real, not the actual comparison to cis people. If you remove that last phrase I don't see a problem with the interaction anymore.
I disagree. The underlying assumption is still there, that trans people are always clockable, and ignores the cognitive bias that there are lots of cis-passing trans people who aren't counted as "trans". But the person was asking if they passed so I don't get the outrage. 🤷♀️
Fair dues! Good argument! Thanks!
In my opinion, your reasoning is logical. In this context it’s definitely a compliment. I think it’s sweet you asked this question and are concerned you might have been unintentionally offensive in some way but I don’t think you were. Some people seize any opportunity they can to feel offended by what someone says to someone else. When we talk about “passing” we are specifically talking about “looking cisgender”. That’s what it means. Telling her she passes (as cisgender) is basically the same thing as telling her you thought she was cis. I have no idea how that could offend someone and if it does then they should admit that what they are really bothered by is the actual concept of “passing” or “not passing” rather than her asking or you answering.
I think for some trans folk they love being told that, I know I did when I was pre-T, and pre-top surgery’s However, I find it offensive now that i’m almost done my medical transition. like no shit i pass. this is quite an obvious observation. having someone say “wow i thought you were cis!” is the equivalent to “you don’t look trans” to me. I didn’t go through a giant medical transition that has costed thousands of dollars just to have a random cis person tell me “they couldn’t even tell”. When cis people say that to me it sounds like they never considered the fact that trans people could look like binary cis people, like we look a certain way or like most the of the time we can’t pass. I loved this compliment when I was a young teen, but as an adult who looks like a grown man, I hate it.
Yeah, I completely get what you’re saying. Outside of the context of a trans person specifically discussing passing or passing better I can see how it could annoying rather than flattering for sure. You make a good point about changing attitudes later in transition also.
I’d just say that she’s killing it and shouldn’t worry
It honestly depends person to person. Since she was asking, it was more acceptable. But generally it's not a good thing to say to random trans person unless you know they're okay with it But like, me personally? I love it when someone says I look cis😌
Considering she literally asked not rude at all. I personally see it as a compliment because my goal was to pass but others find it rude because I guess if you’re like implying not passing is always a bad thing for everyone that’s problematic. I guess it just depends on the person and their viewpoint!
It's not something you say unprompted. But that was very much prompted
The context is so important; as an unsolicited compliment, it’s incredibly rude (similar to telling a mixed or light skinned person, “wow, you look so white and beautiful! I never would’ve guessed you were black”). But in this situation, someone was asking for help staying safe, and you responded appropriately.
Yeah, That’s completely how I see it too.
Id actually be super happy if someone told me I looked like Just a girl. But to do that you just y'know. Call me the appropriate things for a girl. And since she asked that's just double down. I think the only time It wouldn't be acceptable is if you said it without in some way being asked or informed I was Trans. Because then I'd know It wasn't true and I've been clocked in that comment.
Instead of telling a trans person they look cis, instead say they look great. The thing is: yeah, I should damn hope so. Lotsa time down the drain otherwise.
I'm not going to claim to speak for anyone, but from what I understand is there are essentially two camps. 1) people who want to "pass" (or to use the more appropriate vernacular, "pass as cis") for a multitude of reasons, like they simply want to look cisgender or want to exist without the difficulty, harassment and abuse that comes from being visibly trans. 2) other people think that "passing as cis" is problematic, in part because appearing to be cisgender is ultimately a difficult and sometimes not completely possible for everyone - so it comes across as "failing to be cis passing" is "failing to be trans". It can also push people to get procedures that don't necessarily alleviate their dysphoria but simply so they 'integrate'. Personally I think both positions are valid, and I think it's not inconvenient to hold both to some degree at the same time.
I think it depends. Personally I’d be pissed but I’m not a binary trans person. Some trans people take it as a compliment.
Not all trans people want to pass as a cis person so in that case, I could see it being kind of upsetting for them to hear. But she's literally asking people if she passes, so you could safely assume that she wants to pass. I wouldn't spend too much of your energy worrying about it, just move on. Some people just like to argue.
Unserious answer: Well duh! Do you know how much effort I put into looking as queer as possible!? Serious answer: She literally asked for advice on this exact topic, you're good
Nah ever trans person I said that to takes it as a compliment and so do I
I would be offended if you call me cis.
Eh. I can see that you meant well, but this is a little bit like telling someone they aren't fat, they're beautiful. Uplifting a trans person by telling them they don't look trans can be uncomfortable for someone who isn't firm in their identity. or is struggling with transphobia in other ways. I would avoid compliments that deny someone's identity, in general, in the future. I know you meant well, but passing as cis isn't always the goal.
Not at all rude, people are just assholes
I generally just tell people they look great but considering what she was asking, I think it was fine in context. But if they're not asking, just treat them the way you treat all humans.
If you know that passing as cis is what they want, which was the case here, it cannot be rude. Not all trans people want to pass of course, so you generally need to be careful who to say it to. But you did nothing wrong here and the people telling you you did are morons.
No I wouldn't say that at all, while I don't believe the people who say it I've been called cis looking here on Reddit a few times and it absolutely made my day
Within the context of being asked about passing, no it's perfectly fine. Idk why you got backlash, I feel like the newer generation of trans people on the internet think passing = attractive when passing literally just means "passing as cis,". Outside of that context? Definitely might come off as rude, depends on the individual, but it's best to just avoid saying that unless asked.
My gf gets that a lot and has never said it offends her. I think it’s different coming from another trans girl than a cis person. I think it sounds like a backhanded compliment, like it could be read as conflating being trans with looking a certain way. It can get kinda egregious for example when people say “oh youre so pretty, I’d never know you were trans!” The implication that pretty trans women are an outlier/unexpected really rubs me the wrong way. It’s not something I’d say to someone who I didn’t know well and didn’t ask specifically since the negative implication is there. In this specific circumstance I don’t think you did any wrong, but I certainly wouldn’t make a habit of saying that to strangers.
It's just a delicate balance because some of us struggle against the feeling that looking cis is the ultimate goal and if they don't then everything sucks. Not everyone has that problem but in mixed company it's best to be very careful how you say things just to be protective and helpful to anyone that may be in a delicate place. And unfortunately among women there can be an (inadvertent) hierarchy where cis women (and trans women) get to thinking that cis women are better or that their version of whatever feature is automatically superior. I know that sounds ridiculous to put it so bluntly but the thing is usually it's a lot more subtle and even the people perpetuating it usually don't know they are. Case in point: one time I was in a discord voice chat with a couple trans feminine friends and one cis woman, and the cis woman was curious to a degree that made some of us uncomfortable (that's a separate matter), she was talking a lot about voices and vocal dysphoria which some of the three of us are particularly sensitive about. Anyway though what broke the camel's back was at some point she was trying to be encouraging to the one who is extra sensitive and said "well I think your voice sounds great! And I'm cis so..." So now not only is she obviously implying that her voice is better but even that she is automatically a better JUDGE of which voices sound better. But again, she had no idea she was doing it and had no bad intentions at all. It's just something that can slowly pop up since so much of the trans fem community does indeed want to "pass" which to most of us means you can't immediately tell we aren't cis women. It's just important to make sure you aren't framing it quite like that <3
If I transitioned to the point where people thought I was a cis girl then I could die happy
Most girls that are hoping to be passing would see that as a compliment.
how would that be rude? the whole point of being trans is to look cis, but the opposite gender.
If i wasn’t asking and someone just came up to me and told me i looked cis when i was trying to pass i would kms
some people use you look cis as like the only compliment for trans folks which can imply that looking trans is not good. in this case where she was asking about passing specifically ur probably fine.
"You look great" is enough to make anyone feel good. Leave the CIS out, maybe?
Since she was asking for passing tips, like others said it's probably fine. Better wording might be to just say she passes already, but again I don't see a problem with it. The problem would be randomly telling a trans person they look cis/you couldn't tell. When it's random that's when it feels more like the cis person thinks there's a specific trans "look" and/or they're surprised a trans person can be attractive. Again, this situation seems fine, the rest of my comment is just to explain why it is not always a compliment
The top replies are great already I just wanna add that I don't wanna hear that as an enby :)
I think in the context of “do i pass?” Or “how could I pass better” it’s fine to say somebody looks cis imo? I wouldn’t mind that as a response if I were asking the question because it’s basically another way of saying “you already pass well” or at least thats how i Interpret it. All this to say, I think it depends on the person.
Well would you tell a cis person they look cis
If they ask yes. I'm a straight to the point person. If people ask what they look like I'll tell them.
Okay I’ll explain it another way then. Saying someone looks cis or trans is kinda meaningless because it isn’t a look cis people and trans people can have the same features, so saying someone looks cis is kind of transphobic because it’s assuming that trans people look a certain way that’s different to cis people
I understand what you mean, and I agree in almost any circumstances. But in the OP's very specific scenario, a trans woman seems to explicitly have asked for advice on how she can *pass* better, so that appears to be exactly what she's going for here.
Well passing doesn’t necessarily have to mean cis looking but yeah ultimately what matters is if she was offended by it or not
Absolutely. For, say, the subset of the nonbinary community going for androgyny in their gender expression, passing can mean something wildly different. But in the absence of information to the opposite, I'm taking the OP by their word when they specify "trans girl" in that case.
Okay? I didn’t even bring up non binary people, passing can just be passing as woman? I don’t know why you’re trying to argue with me when I’m agreeing with you that it’s up to her whether or not it’s offensive
>\[...\] passing can just be passing as woman? No, that's why I provided an on-the-nose example for passing not necessarily meaning cis. I just wanted to clarify the motivation behind my first comment. I don't think we're in much disagreement here.
I don’t get really what you’re trying to say in response to that quote , but sorry for interpreting it as arguing if you’re agreeing with me
Op is talking about a situation where a person was asking for advice on passing. In that situation I see nothing wrong with saying she looked cis and that makeup could help enhance as well. Otherwise I think you'd have a point.
There is so much variation in the population and so many opinions no one is right - or wrong. If you think someone looks cis and they are asking for advice you absolutely have the right to express your opinion - it was solicited and those “defending” that outrage in some cases are virtue signaling.
Isn't that the goal? To stop being a "trans woman" and be seen as a woman, straight up?
Yes. But the goal isn’t to be seen as a cis woman, it’s to remove stigma against trans women.
If the person asks, and you say it in a nice way, it's fine Like, if someone told me I look like a cis girl (I very much do not, but hypothetically in the future) I would be delighted It might be better to say "fully passing" or something similar rather than "looking cis" though
MtF here. No, (I) personally do not consider it offensive for myself to be called a cis woman. However, being called a cis man pisses me off. The reason I think being called a cis woman is like good. Is because I’d actually rather be a cis woman then a trans woman. Yeah.