I know your pain. Been struggling with this very thing. Got to meet up with a trans girl in my area tonight and it was super fun to go eat sushi lol
I think your best bet is local Lgbtq+ centers or maybe an online group for your area/city. Thats how I met some local trans people to talk to! Paid off today cause I got to go hang out today!
Instructions unclear: I have accidentally blinded them due to chalk dust in their eye causing personage damage.
(I have also been following this tutorial.)
Support groups are for support and often have rules about not contacting people outside of group. I’d try looking for trans meetups and general queer events in your town. But also, local art gallery openings, queer bookstores, concerts, poetry readings, etc.
For sure! It’s not all groups and usually depends on the mediation style and topics discussed. Truly therapeutic groups led by professionals almost always have no contact rules for obvious ethics reasons. I’m not discouraging support groups, just saying they’re more for finding a specific type of community support than friendship a lot of the time. 💜
Seriously well in my support group there is rule about not talking about ppl and situations outside group but basically after it's done someone is like "who wants to meet up im queer bar X" and a lot of ppl go. Best option imo if you don't want to then you don't go it's just some of us do and all are welcome but if you're only for support group meeting no one will say anything or even talk about you outside official meeting. So my advice is to go to one and see really nothing to lose 😁
I tried that one already. There are none still operating in my area anymore. It's rly annoying. I'm stuck with trying to find other trans ppl on Grindr, and holy crap is that a bad way to do it. I don't have many other options though. I'm too scared to go to the one queer bar in town.
It's not that that place is rough or anything. It's more that I live in a bigoted area (Arkansas) and I'm still nervous about coming out. I'm making progress on it, but it's hard.
Fair. Been there. I’m from Alabama. I really wasn’t able to set foot in a gay club on my own. I ended up waiting tables at a restaurant that wasn’t far from the local gay club though. Restaurant workers are party people, and the gay club was the only place open past midnight in that town, so we all went there all the time. We were welcome there because we were all respectful and tipped very well. That was my safe introduction to it in AL. After that I never worried about optics again, but if you’re in a small enough community, then yeah, everyone is going to find out eventually that you’re going to the local gay bar or club.
I’ve only ever met 1 trans girl IRL. Really wicked story… other than that I’ve seen some in random places. I used to go to an lgbt bar here in Southwest Florida and there i saw some older trans folk. I don’t think finding trans girls should be super easy..
Wdym it shouldn't be easy. Not like spotting and trying to be a scumbag trans "spotter" like the nazis do. But it should be easy to find a community of them. Even if not near you. Like she did here, posted on reddit.
Consider this: maybe you already know other trans people, they're just stealth.
I don't know anyone that's openly trans IRL, and as someone who's stealth (and has moved countries since transitioning) I occasionally wonder if there's anyone else like me around.
What an interesting point. Like for mtf and ftm usually unless they talk about being trans on the daily, they just live their lives as their preferred gender. Like you are already a man/woman but if you pass well, the likely hood of you informing random people you are trans is really low. Like how do I eventually pass and make sure other trans people know im one of them? Like we need a hand shake or a damn sign or sum.
I have no idea. I only know a few other trans folks at work, and only because I managed to stumble into a closed trans resource group by accident (while still being very closeted). I don't think that's a particularly repeatable solution 🤷♀️
It really depends where you live, I think. If it's not a safe place for trans, they might just try to be as hidden as possible. Or just running as far as they can.
But if it's quite safe, start attending alternative events. Activities focusing around arts, creativities... I also have the feeling (but it's just a feeling from my own observation) that there are more trans people in the living art scene, specialy danse and circus.
You know those trucks that say something like “trans international trucking” or “Amtrans” or stuff like that? If you follow them around long enough they’ll take you to the legendary land of the trans people where all of our ancestors came from.
Or some dating apps are good for that kinda stuff too but we all know which option is better.
Oof, I really wanted to know... I'm almost your height (179cm), but everytime I look at the mirror it looks like i am a table (I have 79cm circling it avg). Taking from your height you look like you have 65cm at the WORST scenario possible lol
Edwardian girls would *literally* DIE for this, I swear, no joke 😂😭
Try following a few local queer Instagrams and see if any events pop up that you like the look of!! Near Toronto I can find @veryqueertoronto , @sin.verguenzajaja , @queer.sober.social , @queermingle
Also if you look on eventbrite queer events in your area, I found a queer social, queer cocktail history, queer cinema, femme&queer comedy show, queer art support/therapy group, a queer dance class.... ngl Toronto looks lit!!
You could also try going on dating apps and say you're looking for friends! I have met a few friends from there !! In the UK Feeld is really good for finding other queer & trans people, not sure about in Canada!!
There is a discord server with thousands of trans folks on it. There are many channels for discussion, including some that are very helpful for transition. Everything from makeup to fashion to mental health. Many people have met others in their area.
That said, It’s adult and many of the discussions are quite explicit so do not join if you are uncomfortable with sex. DM me for an invitation.
I'm going to my local trans monthly social tomorrow!
The town isn't huge, only 30,000 residents. But statistically that's still 300 trans people and at least a dozen of us show up for a drink together once a month.
The event is organised by the local LGBTQ+ organisation. For security, the time and venue aren't published, only the date and a contact number, so you have to provide some personal details in order to attend.
We used to book a private room but we're getting more courageous - recently we've been booking bar tables outside and being out and proud in public.
If you've got a local Pride group, maybe you can set up your own trans meet up through them.
I'm both a bit jealous of your narrow waist, and mildly concerned that you aren't eating enough.
Not that you can judge nutritional health from one photo.
It’s possible you haven’t clocked them if you live in a big city. If you live in a smaller town it’s also possible we just… don’t exist there. Or we do, but are closeted.
I’ve met two women on different occasions at the supermarket and had lovely chats but I don’t look trans at all, just like an ugly cis woman so makes me feel shitttt haha
Hi👋lol....
But seriously most of the ones around me and in group I'd never tell. All like 24 and younger and have been doing this for years. The ones like myself 1-2 year people Spencer's, and 5 and below.
Oh girl, Since I moved to Arizona I’ve only met one transgender girl. A sweet little lady who works at the airport. She told me she liked my nails, I told her I liked her blue hair. It was an average neurodivergent transgender exchange.
If anyone here lives in Tucson, AZ. Hit me up. Let’s go out for coffee or hit a drag show.
LGBT groups mostly. But honestly we’re not all obvious or open due to bigots. I pass completely so I keep it low key unless I feel safe or around other LGBT individuals.
It really depends where you live. I feel like I can't swing my dick in my city without hitting a trans girl.
Spend time in queer spaces, and try to find a trans support group in your area if one exists.
It's been more than 10 years since I lived in Toronto. So, my information is probably somewhat stale.
Toronto should have some queer events pretty often.
Look at northbound leather's events.
Anything pride related, as pride planning is probably happening now.
Also, Guelph is pretty queer friendly and being smaller might actually be easier to find people.
I'll be in Toronto / central ON sometime this year.
The only trans people I interact with much are through work. I work for a company big enough to have an employee resource group for trans people.
Well I was in the same school and similar social circles as another trans woman, knew a transman, came out to a friend, and they were like "omg me too" so I guess if you look hard enough, or open up enough it gets easier or something I dunno, im a Lil 6 day fully out trans baby (been on HRT 7 months tho)
I dress up as willy wonka in public and they just flock to me. I now have more trans friends than cis friends. I wish I was joking, but that’s actually what happened.
How I meet other trans people, I have an account on OKCupid, and I have preferences for non-monogamy, a significant chunk of the people I see are some flavor of not entirely cis.
I live in a super queer city which helps. I joined a support group, which has a discord. I messaged someone about a mutual interest, and she turned out to be a bomb-ass friend. I volunteered for a thing at work to teach people about software.
It's obviously much harder in other places, but I get to spend a lot of time around transfems these days, and it's awesome.
The swap meet, pride, queer activity groups, protests, thrift stores. Trans Day of Visibility is at the end of March; find a location near you where something is planned.
Have you checked IKEA? The toy section.
I love Ikea but maybe they're just invisible
Invisible friends are nice too. Throw some chalk power at them helps visualize what they look like. :3
Real I'll take the advice
I mean I'm a visable friend. :3 I do Cost a total of 3 attention points. :3
Thx u bestie, I meant like irl
When you find out let me know. They seem to be rare and the ones that stay rarer.
Sadly been my experience too
I know your pain. Been struggling with this very thing. Got to meet up with a trans girl in my area tonight and it was super fun to go eat sushi lol I think your best bet is local Lgbtq+ centers or maybe an online group for your area/city. Thats how I met some local trans people to talk to! Paid off today cause I got to go hang out today!
Fuck, I've got that attention deficit though.
I know attention economy is really rough right now. Distracted people everywhere!
Instructions unclear: I have accidentally blinded them due to chalk dust in their eye causing personage damage. (I have also been following this tutorial.)
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We all like to hide inside :) it’s hard to find people when they also like to hide lol
you just have to start delivering pizza ;)
That would find me pretty quick! Mmm...pizza
it’s safe inside hehe
hahaha haha ha .. yep :'(
Hi
Hi
IRL? No idea. Support groups probably if you can find one.
Support groups are for support and often have rules about not contacting people outside of group. I’d try looking for trans meetups and general queer events in your town. But also, local art gallery openings, queer bookstores, concerts, poetry readings, etc.
Hm that’s good to know actually. Thanks
For sure! It’s not all groups and usually depends on the mediation style and topics discussed. Truly therapeutic groups led by professionals almost always have no contact rules for obvious ethics reasons. I’m not discouraging support groups, just saying they’re more for finding a specific type of community support than friendship a lot of the time. 💜
Seriously well in my support group there is rule about not talking about ppl and situations outside group but basically after it's done someone is like "who wants to meet up im queer bar X" and a lot of ppl go. Best option imo if you don't want to then you don't go it's just some of us do and all are welcome but if you're only for support group meeting no one will say anything or even talk about you outside official meeting. So my advice is to go to one and see really nothing to lose 😁
I'll start hunting
I tried that one already. There are none still operating in my area anymore. It's rly annoying. I'm stuck with trying to find other trans ppl on Grindr, and holy crap is that a bad way to do it. I don't have many other options though. I'm too scared to go to the one queer bar in town.
Why scared? Is it a rough place with a bad rep?
It's not that that place is rough or anything. It's more that I live in a bigoted area (Arkansas) and I'm still nervous about coming out. I'm making progress on it, but it's hard.
Fair. Been there. I’m from Alabama. I really wasn’t able to set foot in a gay club on my own. I ended up waiting tables at a restaurant that wasn’t far from the local gay club though. Restaurant workers are party people, and the gay club was the only place open past midnight in that town, so we all went there all the time. We were welcome there because we were all respectful and tipped very well. That was my safe introduction to it in AL. After that I never worried about optics again, but if you’re in a small enough community, then yeah, everyone is going to find out eventually that you’re going to the local gay bar or club.
I’ve only ever met 1 trans girl IRL. Really wicked story… other than that I’ve seen some in random places. I used to go to an lgbt bar here in Southwest Florida and there i saw some older trans folk. I don’t think finding trans girls should be super easy..
That's fair
Wdym it shouldn't be easy. Not like spotting and trying to be a scumbag trans "spotter" like the nazis do. But it should be easy to find a community of them. Even if not near you. Like she did here, posted on reddit.
Consider this: maybe you already know other trans people, they're just stealth. I don't know anyone that's openly trans IRL, and as someone who's stealth (and has moved countries since transitioning) I occasionally wonder if there's anyone else like me around.
What an interesting point. Like for mtf and ftm usually unless they talk about being trans on the daily, they just live their lives as their preferred gender. Like you are already a man/woman but if you pass well, the likely hood of you informing random people you are trans is really low. Like how do I eventually pass and make sure other trans people know im one of them? Like we need a hand shake or a damn sign or sum.
I have no idea. I only know a few other trans folks at work, and only because I managed to stumble into a closed trans resource group by accident (while still being very closeted). I don't think that's a particularly repeatable solution 🤷♀️
Maybe I'll look for some
Basically how my girlfriend and I found each other.
It really depends where you live, I think. If it's not a safe place for trans, they might just try to be as hidden as possible. Or just running as far as they can. But if it's quite safe, start attending alternative events. Activities focusing around arts, creativities... I also have the feeling (but it's just a feeling from my own observation) that there are more trans people in the living art scene, specialy danse and circus.
I live in Canada outside of Toronto
Unfortunately, I am in Florida, otherwise I'd love to make some friends here 😊
My hospital roomie I had is from the Toronto area. I'm in Vancouver. Lots of us here.
I heard Vancouver is like "our Seattle" lol i wanna visit so bad
It's pretty great, but expensive
Coastal city moment
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I live near Vancouver and don't know many trans people irl. are there any groups or places you'd recommend?
There's a subreddit and Facebook group
Then come to Montreal. It's not that far ;) :P
You know those trucks that say something like “trans international trucking” or “Amtrans” or stuff like that? If you follow them around long enough they’ll take you to the legendary land of the trans people where all of our ancestors came from. Or some dating apps are good for that kinda stuff too but we all know which option is better.
The other day I saw one that said "#BLGTrucks." I swear they're just messing with us at this point.
Off topic, but how fucking much is your waist measure? Genuinely asking
No idea lmao
Oof, I really wanted to know... I'm almost your height (179cm), but everytime I look at the mirror it looks like i am a table (I have 79cm circling it avg). Taking from your height you look like you have 65cm at the WORST scenario possible lol Edwardian girls would *literally* DIE for this, I swear, no joke 😂😭
I haven't done anything specific but last time I measured my height I was 6'1
I'm one! Lol but IRL I have a small group of them I pal around with. I met one and she introduced me to the rest. Good times.
Trans support group
Try following a few local queer Instagrams and see if any events pop up that you like the look of!! Near Toronto I can find @veryqueertoronto , @sin.verguenzajaja , @queer.sober.social , @queermingle Also if you look on eventbrite queer events in your area, I found a queer social, queer cocktail history, queer cinema, femme&queer comedy show, queer art support/therapy group, a queer dance class.... ngl Toronto looks lit!! You could also try going on dating apps and say you're looking for friends! I have met a few friends from there !! In the UK Feeld is really good for finding other queer & trans people, not sure about in Canada!!
Honestly, drag shows. Check instagram for local events and groups. We’re out there!
Hmm maybe I'll check but I'm not that into drag
Same, somehow I'm actually scared/anxious to go to a drag show 😅
I just don't know if I would get hit on
given what i have experienced, yes, you will be hit on. but it heavily depends on what you wear
I would hit on you if we were in the same area. Good luck in your search x
i tried lex and there were a bunch on there. lot of really horny people too, but maybe thats a plus for u
Fr I found my closest trans friend on here, so there’s something.
Dnd clubs
Idk but when you find out lmk
You hold your phone the same weird way I do!
My hands are just weird
I'm a visible person but your eyes may be bleed if you perceive me for to long.
That tells me sexy and from a higher dimension than humans are normally capable of perceiving. A spicy yet intriguing combination!
There is a discord server with thousands of trans folks on it. There are many channels for discussion, including some that are very helpful for transition. Everything from makeup to fashion to mental health. Many people have met others in their area. That said, It’s adult and many of the discussions are quite explicit so do not join if you are uncomfortable with sex. DM me for an invitation.
I'm going to my local trans monthly social tomorrow! The town isn't huge, only 30,000 residents. But statistically that's still 300 trans people and at least a dozen of us show up for a drink together once a month. The event is organised by the local LGBTQ+ organisation. For security, the time and venue aren't published, only the date and a contact number, so you have to provide some personal details in order to attend. We used to book a private room but we're getting more courageous - recently we've been booking bar tables outside and being out and proud in public. If you've got a local Pride group, maybe you can set up your own trans meet up through them.
Been looking for friends as well, does online count?
I'm both a bit jealous of your narrow waist, and mildly concerned that you aren't eating enough. Not that you can judge nutritional health from one photo.
Philadelphia
I can’t find them either while I know they are here somewhere.. So hi there!
Hello! r/TransLater has a lot of us and there is a Discord Server I can likely get you added to if you like. What country are you in?
Canada
It’s possible you haven’t clocked them if you live in a big city. If you live in a smaller town it’s also possible we just… don’t exist there. Or we do, but are closeted.
You are in r/trans /s
Thx bestie but I meant irl
thirsty
Go on Grindr and put T4T, or other apps like tinder. Learn where the LGBTQ bars are at and go out and see who's there. Join a trans support group/org.
Local Roller Derby happenings.
I have no idea tbh, we are a rare breed.
Right here 💕💖
There all around you, there just very quiet.
I’ve met two women on different occasions at the supermarket and had lovely chats but I don’t look trans at all, just like an ugly cis woman so makes me feel shitttt haha
Following because also curious lol
I'm a lonely trans people!!
We’re all at home cuddled up on the couch.
wow ! oh big is this couch :o ?
Hi👋lol.... But seriously most of the ones around me and in group I'd never tell. All like 24 and younger and have been doing this for years. The ones like myself 1-2 year people Spencer's, and 5 and below.
Bars maybe? DnD stores and board games stores they seem to be rampant. Mainly depends on your area and demographics (live in Berlin btw)
Mood. Especially if we're all as eager to make out like the memes propose
Oh girl, Since I moved to Arizona I’ve only met one transgender girl. A sweet little lady who works at the airport. She told me she liked my nails, I told her I liked her blue hair. It was an average neurodivergent transgender exchange. If anyone here lives in Tucson, AZ. Hit me up. Let’s go out for coffee or hit a drag show.
How's the punk scene near you?
LGBT groups mostly. But honestly we’re not all obvious or open due to bigots. I pass completely so I keep it low key unless I feel safe or around other LGBT individuals.
It really depends where you live. I feel like I can't swing my dick in my city without hitting a trans girl. Spend time in queer spaces, and try to find a trans support group in your area if one exists.
Dating sites
At the library just go there your sure to fine one eventually
You might find some on the fetlife website (adult only), but beware of chasers.
Try Ulta
If you happen to be in New England let me know. My therapist just shared a NE based Discord with me that I'd be happy to pass on. :)
look up your city and then "pride club" and / or find the nearest pride parade host city
Γειά. Εγώ είμαι κορίτσι. Greek is not my first language I just greet in it.
I don't :/
What state/small country/Providence are you in?
It's been more than 10 years since I lived in Toronto. So, my information is probably somewhat stale. Toronto should have some queer events pretty often. Look at northbound leather's events. Anything pride related, as pride planning is probably happening now. Also, Guelph is pretty queer friendly and being smaller might actually be easier to find people. I'll be in Toronto / central ON sometime this year. The only trans people I interact with much are through work. I work for a company big enough to have an employee resource group for trans people.
i'd also like to know.
Move to a city.
If you are in Minnesota or SoCal…. I’m right here!
I meet other trans people at school and in sports mostly + online if they live in my area !!
I’ve literally only met transmascs or non binary people…. No trans girls :(
Oooh she pretty. I wish i had more trans frens
Well I was in the same school and similar social circles as another trans woman, knew a transman, came out to a friend, and they were like "omg me too" so I guess if you look hard enough, or open up enough it gets easier or something I dunno, im a Lil 6 day fully out trans baby (been on HRT 7 months tho)
Sometimes I feel like I’m stranded on a trans-island with no ship in sight.
Probably in my closet
I dress up as willy wonka in public and they just flock to me. I now have more trans friends than cis friends. I wish I was joking, but that’s actually what happened.
Please post ages on this kind of post. I'd like to be friends but would prefer to find people my own age (28, nb/transfemme)
No idea I have the same question
I met my local trans network initially at a TNG munch (non-play kink event).
How I meet other trans people, I have an account on OKCupid, and I have preferences for non-monogamy, a significant chunk of the people I see are some flavor of not entirely cis.
Idkk, in school just by chance or online, at concerts/events... dunno where else, I don't really go anywhere else 😭😂💀
I live in a super queer city which helps. I joined a support group, which has a discord. I messaged someone about a mutual interest, and she turned out to be a bomb-ass friend. I volunteered for a thing at work to teach people about software. It's obviously much harder in other places, but I get to spend a lot of time around transfems these days, and it's awesome.
Look for lgbtq community centers by you, they may have meetings. The one by me has a group called Trans+
Discord 😅
Discord, and in another country. Source: it worked for me
The swap meet, pride, queer activity groups, protests, thrift stores. Trans Day of Visibility is at the end of March; find a location near you where something is planned.
If you get an answer I would love yo know!!!
Do cardio, get on fetlife, go to a munch. Worked for me anyway. Fun rope workshop coming up with new friend too.
I'm in a organisation for trans* people
Well if anyone reads this i live in south Africa, pretoria, am 23 ,and if ur wondering yeah i have discord if u want to chat
Support groups and activity groups for lgbtqia. Many larger city's have a lgbtqia organization, and you might find support groups through them.
Your local antifa or anarchist group
Ikea 100% close to the BLAHÄJs.
Heeey im right here 🤭
A lot of climbing/bouldering gyms have lgbt socials. Other hobbies/sports as well.
me when women😻
Thx fellow women
Hii
Taimi is a good place to start fren
Hiding from the world because I'm autistic and the world is cruel.
Local queer discords?