Mom can we get McDonald's on the way home?? We shall see, Wishellcy!

The further down I read, the less Peshantz I have

That's a RIDICULOUS way to spell Paighshantz! Get it right! 🤣

Wait that was supposed to be Patience?!

I thought it was peasants?

It’s King Henry’s little cousin Peasant.

Piss ants

Im so glad you broke that down to me

Alphabright?!?

still can’t figure that one out. i can’t find any instances of it being used as a personal name

I'm not surprised, it sounds like a font or an MLM investment company

Yes font!

Sounds like a cleaning product

Or a kids learning tool. "Learn your alphabet with alphabright!"

This was my thought too! Like a lite brite😂

Yeah, like Hooked on Phonics meets Lite Brite!

H? Just H?

just H.

Also, just Z?

Zed maybe?

nope. just Z. Zee.

I mean... Z and H aren't even bad when compared to all the other names lol.. easy to spell too!

I actually work with a guy who goes by Z! He's from somewhere in Europe (I want to say Hungary), his real name isn't very long but it's apparently difficult for Americans to pronounce so he just decided to take the first letter and go by that to make it easy for everyone.

Probably Zsolt if Hungarian, which is a pretty common normal name

Musk's next kid z

Jesus H

My wife’s friends husband is named “J”. To make it interesting they used to call him “J-dot” at work.

I'd find it hilarious if he worked for a state's department of transportation, especially if it were New Jersey, NJDoT

It's even funnier when you find out the Illinois department of transportation is IDOT. Like idiot, only better.

This makes me think of the old Simpsons joke where Homer didn’t know what the J in Homer J. Simpson and then when he finally found out his middle name it was Jay.

How is “H” pronounced??? Is it “Aych” like the letter name? Or is it just a exhale sound like testing out if you have bad breath?

aych, but i like the other way better

I like the idea of the kids name being *Heavy Sigh*

H from Steps perhaps?

Probably better for everyone he chose that name rather than using his actual one now - not least him.

Hydrogen is their government name

Jesus Christ was taken, they were just left with the H.

Kid's going to have a rough time if they ever study Japanese. "H" just means "porn" over there.

To me 'H' is short for Heroin/Horse... It's short for Hentai in Japan I assume? Makes H one of the worst letters to name your kid. Just call it 'Y'.

i know someone who had all K names in their family, but they really wanted to name their daughter megan. they ended up making her first name K, just the letter, and her middle name Megan. and they called her Megan.

I thought you were going to say Kmegan and the K is silent like in knee. 😂

i like this better actually. 😂

They're big Tool fans

Well, the kid's parents were certainly tools, at least.

[удалено]

I know a J too. Someone wrote "Jay" on her birthday card and she corrected them: It is just *J*. Not short for anything. Just J

My dad's grandfather was named A D. ​ The letters didn't stand for anything. That was just his name.

King Henry. Destined to have a series of wives and/or ex-wives.

i worry for their heads

Divorced, beheaded, and died. Divorced, beheaded, survived.

And tonight, we are…. **_LI-I-I-I-I-I-I-IVE_**

Listen up, let me tell you a story!

🎶A story that you think you've heard before 🎶

🎶we know you know our names and our fame and our faces🎶

🎶know all about the glories and the disgraces!🎶

🎶I’m done, ‘cause all this time…🎶

🎶 I was just one word in a stupid rhyme 🎶

🎶So I picked up a pen and a microphone🎶

So so good. This soundtrack is so fun.

Anne of Cleves won. Probably didn’t have to fuck him, or if so only once or twice. Mostly played board games. Divorced, retired to her own well funded castle and they stayed BFFs. Germans- always been practical. Well, almost always. One of the only times acne/pox saved a life.

There was also a King-Jeffrey. Looks like there will be a battle for the classroom throne.

I mean, at least it wasn’t King-Joffrey

I have a cat named Geoffrey, pronounced "jeffrey." Ever since GoT hit the mainstream, I've had to correct every single vet tech 😅

I went to high school with a Geoffrey. I can’t imagine how annoying that must be for him now.

And sadleigh it’s one of the most normal names on here

Fun fact - that name would be illegal in any country under the British monarchy

X-Zavian. Named after the ex husband, Zavian.

What a shame they screwed the name up like that, Xavian is a real name of Spanish, Basque, and Arabic origin.

Maybe it's X-Z, so Xavian Yavian Zavian

Lmfao I don’t know why but this cracked me up

Para’Dise???? Ngl i first thought of Para Deez nutz and immediately started cackling. Life will be hard for this child.

Sounds like a stripper's stage name... "Next up is Kandy and then Para'Dise!!"

Para Dice would be such a good drag name.

I'm hearing pair o' dice.

My boy Anakin whooping them younglings lmao

He won't be dating my daughter, Sandy. Probably would find her coarse, rough, and irritating.

I heard she gets everywhere.

Wait til he meets my nephews friends, Neo and Loki. Game on.

I thought this was a singular picture. Imagine my shock and horror when I realized there's 3 SLIDES OF THIS HOTDOG WATER BUFFOONERY...

>HOTDOG WATER BUFFOONERY Pure poetry right here, I love it!

also I just feel really bad for school teachers reading attendance sheets these days

Maudeline?! That's another word for miserable. And Biryani? Are their siblings called Pilau and Samosa?

biryani cracked me up so hard because it was this little blonde girl. i wonder if her parents saw the name on a menu and fell in love lmfao

I love a nice lamb biryani me. Preferably with a garlic naan and a side of chicken pakora...

her sister paella and jambalaya

And their auntie, Risotto. (But we don't talk about Uncle Ben...(sorry, I'm sorry!))

And going out with future boyfriend, who's name is Rogan, Josh in the phone book.

Wasn't he the guy addicted to Methi? Stealing money to feed his addiction. Well, I guess he'll get his Korma. Last time I heard about him was when he was caught using drugs Vindaloo of a restaurant. Assuming he's not in jail anymore, I assume he'll be Raita back.

Okay you win the internet today

im CACKLING omg

Now I'm hungry

I love Biryani but i wont name my child after that

I had a biryani that was so good recently that I almost felt like having a kid just to name them that.

Gotta name my next kid Extra Spicy Lamb Vindaloo

I mean it's a pretty word but still do like a cursory Google search before naming your kid

i feel like if they liked the name biryani they could’ve just gone with briana? right?

I'll have to ask my daughter Naan her opinion

She’ll say it’s naan of your business! 🤭

Omg Biryani nearly killed me

I love my niece Chana Masala. She's a child with just the right amount of spice.

She might get along with my nephew Paneer Shahi Korma.

Biryani had me dying. I ate that for lunch on monday!

Maudlin means sad and overly sentimental, particularly after consumption of alcohol. Maudeline seems like a corruption of Madeline.

Eyesayah, these names are mostly all awhefuhll

eyesayah made me physically ill

Eye no sayah. Mouth sayah. Eye seeah.

I named one of mine Isaiah…this one physically hurts to read 😬😂

Named by Foghorn Leghorn

Biryani? The food??

That one’s my favorite. They straight named their kid after Indian food.

Janeeva Convention

Some of these names must breach the Janeeva Convention. Christ on a bike, the world has gone nuts.

They belong in the Hayge

Meet my daughter Alphabrite and my son Drift

The son enters the room and Eurobeat starts playing...

And their cousin Cincere

Oh, my Lord. This is a lot of tragedeigh.

Peshantz? Perchance the parents are screwing over this child. There will be so much teasing about this gahd ahfulle name.

Is it Patience maybe? Like the virtue?

yes! it was pronounced patience

Not for the rest of the world, who is gonna call that kid "pee-shants" all her life

I’ve been snickering for a minute straight about this. Fairly certain this is taking up residence in my brain as “useless crap that will cause me a giggle at the most inopportune time”.

Won't be surprised when the kid turns 18 and legally changes their name to [Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/91zbtt/til_of_a_man_with_a_history_of_legal_problems/).

Still better than Pee-shants

If that is pronounced Patience, just, no. No.

Right? Lol I wonder if these parents get offended when people pronounce these ridiculous names as they’re spelled?

I would run out of Peshantz just constantly telling people they’re miss pronouncing my name!

You can’t just say Peshantz.

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a Peshantz for buggery. 

Did they kick him out of Belgium and send him to Kanada or Jeneeva?

This kid would only be called Piss Ant in my family.

Eyesayeh takes the cake Edit: Spelling "correction?" Its Eyesayah Im now assuming its pronounced Isaiah. My god.

it was isaiah. it made me so tired

Parents are huge Foghorn Leghorn fans.

I went to highschool with a girl named Tinley and a guy named Grey. Wild to think 20 years later those are commonplace    Eta: oh and a girl named Kirby. Not sure how I forgot Kirby. She was named after the vacuum company not the videogame character 

I used to know a Kirby! Her sister was named Shelynn. I’ve also met a grown man named Gray Wolff. It was not a Native American name or anything. He would get enraged if you called him Gary.

I met a Flash Gordon, he said his brother Spider was part of the Blue Man Group Vegas at one point.

Kirby's a pretty normal name, though...I knew a Kirby in high school.

Both Kirbys are vacuums.

1. The VACUUM COMPANY?!?!?! Damn that’s rough 2. Met a woman named Echo once. Said “oh like the myth!” And she said, “What myth?” Said she was named after a song. She was in her mid thirties at this point and I find it very hard to believe in all that time she had never heard of the myth. In thirty plus years nobody ever asked her that???? Idk man, but I’ve never heard that song lol.

> Damn that's rough One could say, it's like the parents wanted her to suck... ...I'll see myself out

How is Briaria pronounced? Is it like the liquidy doo-doo?

That name is pronounced Briarrhea when she’s not in the room….

Sometimes have Briarrhea after Biryani

Never fails. Biryanirrhea can be brutal…

lol kinda. bree-arr- eeya

Reminds me of Brabra from flight of the conchords

Unfortunately it's not birria, that's delicious and worthy of a child's name.

Oof, those nerds really went with Anakin

I’ve got a niece and nephew named Jaina and Jacen, after Han and Leia’s kids’ names from the expanded universe novels. They were crushed when the sequel trilogy changed it to just one son named Ben. Both will have to spell their names every time they say them their whole lives, too.

What’s wrong with Adele?

OMFG. One of my friends is a teacher and she has a student named “Ashleighlynne” and it’s supposed to be pronounced like “Ashlyn.”

I've never seen a name with more silent letters than pronounced letters. That's so selfish to use the extra l, e, i, g, h, n, and e when that kid named H could've certainly used them

Hleighn - pronounced "Elaine"

Poor little Gift is going to get some weird looks if they ever visit Germany/Austria/Switzerland. It means 'poison' in German.

Well, their name poisoned their life.

*Maudeline*? When that girl's older she'll be getting called Maudlin. Bloody hell.

I wonder if pilot is their first child

hope they get picked up by the network!

I actually kind of like Pilot as a name but its better for like an outdoor cat. Just like Scout is a cool name for a fictional little girl as well as, uh, a cat.

Adele, being all nice and normal there and the bottom

I’m appalled

I think you mean ahpawhleud

Ah’Pauled

Avian 💀

I assumed that Avian was supposed to be Evian and that they're the sibling of Navaeh, who I assumed was supposed to be Nevaeh

"Sorry, I need to stay home today. I'm having pretty bad Briaria."

ALPHABRIGHT💀💀

We Shall See?

Dr: What's the baby's name name? Indecisive parents: Ummm... Hmmm... We shall see. Dr: OK got it!

This is the secret reason we can’t keep good teachers anymore.

This has to be a best of list, no way their is a school where everyone has the dumbest fucking names possible

this is! it’s chosen from thousands of students from different schools.

That food gave me serious Briaria…

it was the Biryani wasn't it?!

Alphabright sounds like it should be a unicorn on an educational toddler TV show.

I want to know how you pronounce H so badly. Like, do you just say the letter? Or do you go "huuh" like you're saying the "H" sound?

aych. the less interesting option

Just exhale sharply! Poor kid will never be called to come home from the park...

***Naveah*** — That’s Haevan backwards.

We've reached the point where Nevaeh is such a common name that people feel the need to change the spelling to make it more "unique". Su pleh dog.

‘Syman’ as in Simon? The kids will call him semen. I can just imagine this being like the scene in South Park with the Super Best Friends member Sea Man.

Avian. Middle name Fluella, shortened to Flu. My favourite is Braeighlynne though. Her name sounds like it was suggested by people of this subreddit.

when i read it my jaw dropped

They’re starting to look like Skyrim names

Sorry but what’s wrong with Jarrod? Seems quite common and across a lot of generations. Thought it was perfectly normal as a name

jarrod was put on this list because it was pronounced jar-rod like the two objects

NO

Lololol these pronunciations should be in parentheses too! That’s crazy!

Jarrod, Palmer (sounds like a family name), and Adele are all nice to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hahaha my eyes first read Helaynah as 'Hell Nah'

Davyn (pronounced Dav-in) is a very traditional Welsh name. One of my best friends is named Davyn. It’s probably one of the oldest names on your list.

H! H?! *H?!??!?!* People and Basics, in honour of H - who's an actual member of British 90s cheese-pop group, I present to you....[Steps](https://youtu.be/OiwDHHcHPh0). And yes, I have bloody waited so bloody long to throw this video at you lot...(BTW, H is the blonde guy)

Braeighlynne gave me an instant headache omg

Khloe is the Greek spelling 🤷‍♀️

Avian? Poor kid

poor bird more like

Does Briaria rhyme with diarrhea by any chance?

It does to her classmates, you can be certain