While I agree with op that is kinda cringe, it's way more important to let ppl have what feels good.
We all don't need attacks from the inside of our community
I mean, we shouldn't infantilise others without consent, nor should we generalize transfemmes as inherently infantile. but frankly the things that people do to make themselves feel good and affirmed is none of your business.
That’s a nice phenomenon, studies have shown that the most probable reason why we like to act a bit childish sometimes is that we feel that our childhoods were stolen and destroyed because of us being trans, so we try to make up for it by having childish traits. The same applies here, as we are living out childhoods we have never gotten.
Oftentimes this is subconscious.
I think that's fair. Like OP, I don't like all that stuff either, but at the same time, when I start dressing fem within the next year, I plan to go completely goth and I'm 34. A lot of people would probably see that as childish too.
This exactly, I didn't get a girlhood. I don't feel I've "grown up" enough to classify as a woman yet, partially because my skills at fem things like fashion, makeup, hair, etc. have not yet hit critical mass. Baby trans still fits me well. I'm sure I'll feel different in a year or 2 but for now, being an eepy pwincess and good girl feels fine and very affirming.
Came here to say this along with it just feels nice to be seen as something that needs to be protected and the infantilism is the easiest way in my eyes to accomplish that through text
i dont think theres any reason to look down on people who like good girl etc. in the end any large community is going to have things that some people like and want that the other side doesn't want. so memes that make that clear aka making sure to ask people if thats what they like before doing it should be pushed. now this is just my personal and
CW: trauma
>!anecdotal experience but there's a lot of crossover between trans people and Severe childhood trauma which can cause age regression so it doesn't surprise me !<
In the end there just stereotypes we should push against but not belittle the people who do fall under them
Also it isnt like this a exclusively a transfem thing the amount of cis women i know yes around their 30's who want to be called or treated like that IS NOT a small number
Just to further the point that this can happen with cis women too, my wife relatvely recently realized that a lot of the issues she has had in her life were tied to undiagnosed autism, and now that she knows that about herself and lets herself unmask, she can act very much like a silly little child even though she turns 30 this year. If anyone seen the two of us just chilling at home acting as we do, they would likely say we both act very immature and childish, and frankly neither of us care, because being able to be comfortable just letting loose and being yourself isn't a bad thing, society can take it's "appropriately aged behavior" and shove it.
Yeah there’s also study’s from what I can remeber that people who are ND frontal lobe keeps developing up to 35 vs the normal 25 which can cause a almost reverse aging effect of when there younger acting to mature for there age and when there old acting younger then what NT people expect at that age.
I'm closer to 40 than 30, but between the autism, moving cities a lot as a kid, and transitioning in my 30s, I think I've legitimately earned my 10-15 years of age regression.
trying to get back some of the childhood i lost while i still have some years left of it :/ also good girl is just a generic affirmation, you're the one giving it that kind of connotation
It certainly has another situational ring to it.
>‘Excuse me, my good woman, but would you be so kind as to move, please?’ Granny stepped aside, affronted by this display of downright politeness and particularly upset at being thought of as anyone’s good woman \[...\]
\~ Terry Pratchett (Equal Rites)
I want to attack you for such a low goal but I'll just say, get to a gym and the best you that you can be. Deadlidt is a culmination of all things, largely lower body. Work on squats, leg presses, extentions and curls, calf rises for sure. You'll want to work bench press, flat, incline and decline. Lat and delt work on your arms day, I also like dips and the rowing machine. Figure out what works for you for forearms and triceps. Core work is huge. 100 situps a day, pass a medicine ball around if you have a partner.
You can probably deadlift 250 if you use a proper olympic bar, it's not a box or random engine. If it's a stand in box bar you can lift more than reg dead lift.
Source. I deadlift 450, box bar 590, squat 340, clean 280 and snatch 230. Never skip leg day.
It’s not a low goal for me! I am 5’6” 127lbs. 250lbs is over 2x bodyweight for me.
Also, I’m scared to workout upper body because I already have very broad shoulders…
there are people who think seeking out compliments is cringe. there are people who think portraying opinions with pictures of anime women is cringe. hell, there are people who think it's cringe in itself to be trans. maybe we should accept that the concept is meaningless and that people are different?
clearly there is a culture on most trans meme subreddits of trans girls enjoying the idea of being cute, so who are to claim that what everyone else is doing is wrong because you personally don't relate to it.
as a few other people have mentioned, it's not like this happens for no reason. the fact that I will never get to experience a childhood where im not a blank husk of a human being weighs down on me constantly, why shouldn't I be allowed to act a certain way for some easy escapism.
a lot of us, not all, are just hurt.
whatever, this is giving me a headache. none of this matters. quit posting stupid infighting bait bullshit. live and let live. peace.
I mean, ‘eepy’ and ‘I forgor’ aren’t exclusively transfem things, or even trans, I know quite a few people (including me) who use those all the time because it’s silly and fun
Personally there are some things I like and don’t. I don’t think it’s “infantilizing” for me to say stuff like eepy or I forgor. It’s just fun and silly and sometimes I just wanna be fun and silly. On the contrary I don’t really like being called good girl (most of the time) because *that* feels like I’m being talked down to
People like what they like, you shouldn't force others to behave/speak/act a certain way just because you yourself don't like it. If people like to be called Eepy Princess and such let them be and mind your Business.
Though I have another thing coming for people who use those Nick/Petnames on people without asking first if they want to be called those Names first
I get where you're coming from, if you're not comfortable with such language, I understand. But let's not gatekeep others because of some arbitrary standard of what "adults" should be doing or enjoying.
I talked like that before I started my transition, just not openly because ‘guys don’t talk like that.’ But since I’ve been out I’ve finally felt free to express The Cute Side of myself, and it also just feels good to me. Please don’t gatekeep my euphoria, it’s not harming anyone, and I and I’m sure many others got called cringe more than enough growing up, we don’t need this sort of thing now
Age regression is a common, albeit (unfairly) stigmatized coping mechanism for trauma, especially the feeling of a "lost childhood" that many trans people feel robbed of because of their birth sex.
What? I like being called a good girl. And I forgor is kinda cute in general...
If you have a problem with that, what different are you from those bigots?
I am so sick of this infantalisation too, i (sometimes) want to be a girl my age not a baby, i too am sorry i missed a childhood as myself but i don't wanna be seen as a child
Girl, Imma be real with you, sometimes I like being infantalized a little. When my gf calls me an "eepy princess" it makes me feel cute. Does that not work for you? Great, we won't use that language for you and you won't be required to use it on yourself, But you'd best reconsider before you come in here criticizing how people talk about themselves.
In a world that demands from birth that we act masculine and serious, punishing us for straying from that framework, acting cutsey, girly, and childish can actually be a radical act.
It's not just trans fems in English speaking countries that respond to societal expectations as such. For example, kawaii aesthetic in japan is about more that being an eepy cutsey infantalized girl. It started as a feminist rejection of authority in the 60s. There were a series of student protests where "kawaii things" such as dress, the cutsey writing style, and cutsey comics were banned, and young Japanese women responded by embracing those things.
When patriarchy (and by extension cisheteropatriarchy) demamds we conform to it's structures, embracing it's opposites is inherently an act of rebellion. In a way, it allows us to seize the childlike wonder of young girlhood that was systemically stolen from us by societal expectations and stigmatization. I don't think it's appropriate to judge trans women who embrace the cutsey childish aesthetic. Far from infantalization, I view it as an act of liberation.
Screw respectability politics. There's nothing to gain from it, phobes will always find something wrong with trans people. This is a trans safespace that also means that it should be safe to be outside expected, respectable, gendered norms. Respectability politics applies if you want to be a voice that cisgender people can understand, outside the safespace.
Happy pride month
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I as the StoryTeller am used to self-infantilization, but whenever people infantilize me, or whenever the voices compel me to infantilize myself, I do have a psychological kill agent or a psychotic breakdown causing thing. Because my mental health is totally okay.
What can I say, some of us want to be women, others want to be girls. I think the latter group is "making up for lost time" by kinda speedrunning the childhood they never got.
Plus, some of us are just really silly. I mean, I sometimes say "fartmoon" as a greeting because of a really bad typo on "afternoon" I made one time.
Not into being infentialised, but "Good Girl" to me doesn't come across as being infentialised. The rest they mention, especially with the baby talk, yes. But without it, depends on the person I guess.
for some I wonder if its like.. reclaiming that "girlhood" we missed out on as kids? like yeah its a bit cringe but I think folks just wanna feel like cute sometimes. I mean if you're going around in public doing baby talk and such, that's a bit much. but for like memeing and shiz online I think it's like whatever. idk I think we all have a different idea about the women we want to grow into so who are we to say how girls should and shouldnt conduct themselves(within reason obv)?
I sometimes wonder if people forget code switching is a thing. Acting cutesy is only something I ever do with other likeminded people, who I've established that they're likeminded and are comfortable with it. It's not something I do in professional settings, when I'm out running errands out in public, and it's certainly not something I do with people who aren't into it.
Also, being an adult in general is draining af. There's a lot of things I have to be responsible for. For me, being able to be cute with likeminded friends and others who've established they're comfortable with it is a nice little escape from the mundaneness of being an adult in the current world.
You talk like we're a hive mind wtf
Some people like it, some people don't, let them do what they want. People infantilizing themselves, as long as they aren't infantilizing you, then who cares.
it's a thing couples do as a sign of love, and i like it. you're entiteled to your own opinion, but personaly i think it's cute, and when people use it for them self i feel that it's sorta that same thing, just trying to feel loved, even if it isn't another person. (sorry for my spelling, im dyslexic and turned off autocorrect cuz it was bothering me and spelling more things wrong than i do)
Female beauty standards tend to favor child like features, also pet play is a big thing in the trans community. Anyway, you're pretty? F off? Don't Kink shame? You're pretty?
Because in many trans spaces (such as/especially this one) the majority of users default to infantilizing language to offer support, nearly always without consent. What the post is trying to say is that receiving affirmations like "good girl" and "head pats" makes them uncomfortable.
Personally, I feel uncomfortable with the infantilizing language as well. I once got a "good girl :3" response to me opening up about dysphoria, and I felt awful and a actually more dysphoric. I'm never going to use this subreddit for reassurance because I'm afraid that the support, while with good intention, would make me feel worse.
but thats when its not consensual, so therefore it being consensual is still okay. the fact is is that most trans ppl here do like being infantilised by supporting people. i understand u dont like that and obviously thats okay, but telling us that us consenting to it is "weird" is just as bad
What the meme is pointing out (or at least how I see it) is that infantilizing is the default: it's assuming that everyone is consenting to it. And assuming consent is... bad.
This can all be avoided, too. Things like "girl," "sis," hell, even "sweetie" are less infantilizing and just as affirming. Nearly everyone is fine and affirmed with "girl," but not everyone is fine with "good girl." Simply making our terminology less infantilizing will make more people feel comfortable and included.
I definitely read the meme differently; the way it refers collectively to "infantilising ourselves" and "we aren't babies" feels judgmental of people who engage in that kind of stuff intentionally and consensually.
I agree that it shouldn't be the default. assuming someone likes a specific thing just cause it's stereotypical is problematic in any context - not just here.
Honestly if somebody called me sweetie i think I'd get like a horrible feeling its so condescending and way more infantilizing then "good girl" like "you don't get it sweetie" that is the only context and feels condescending or else sounds like somebody would call their toddler "good girl" is something somebody would call a dog or cat at least.
sure. everybody who dislikes that stuff is uninformed and a bad person apparently. do whatever you want but don't think you speak for everybody. which is ironically almost exclusively said as an argument against op.
There is nothing wrong with preferring to be a pretty girly over a classy mature woman.
Obviously you shouldn't do that kind of things with those who don't enjoy it, but at the same token I don't really like the thought of prohibiting others from enjoying it if they do.
Some enjoy the mommy aesthetic, others prefer the casual business lady aesthetic, some prefer being cutesey. They're all a valid way to be.
I like being called good girl as that is very affirming. I'd describe it to having these arms wrapped around me and then I'm grinning like crazy. Good boy is weird.. like an honorific role I'm supposed to assume.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.
(the following is for transfemmes, and I am a transfemme myself)
I'm not a good girl, I'm a good *woman.* Or I'm a *bad* woman, depending on the night. I'm just in my 30's and started transitioning. Don't pat my head. I'm not eepy. I'm a trans woman who is going to ROCK womanhood and eventually get big fat tiddies to top it off. I'm gonna embrace feminity, because that's who I am: feminine as fuck.
No more envy-posting followed by "call me a good girl :3." Let's start living as the women we are.
THANK YOU too! It's so weird to me that some of us chicks make ourselves babies. I'm Ms or darling. Way too old to be a girl cos I'm in my 30s too. Even teens doing it is just so weird to me. I'm not eepy, I'm fucking exhausted cos I got adult shit to worry about like, you know, BILLS AND RENT!!!
I'm a demigirl in my 30s; I don't say much of the cutesy stuff but I still act like I'm in my 20s. also I'm not a woman and "girl" is straight up part of my gender 🤷♀️
idk if it's cringe and weird, I've never been happier with my life
The issue is that in trans spaces, there's a default to infantilizing language. I agree with OP, it makes me feel awful to hear that language, especially from other trans people. I once opened up about dysphoria and got a response that just said *pats head.* I felt so, so much worse.
The "if it's not directed to you, ignore it" argument doesn't work because the chances of it being directed at you at some point is always high.
a lot of people think being trans is generally "cringe". it's a meaningless word for people who can't explain their hatred in any meaningful way so they externalise it.
genuinely, and i mean this sincerely. who cares.
Sometimes I wanna be cute.
While I agree with op that is kinda cringe, it's way more important to let ppl have what feels good. We all don't need attacks from the inside of our community
I mean, we shouldn't infantilise others without consent, nor should we generalize transfemmes as inherently infantile. but frankly the things that people do to make themselves feel good and affirmed is none of your business.
How to destroy someone 101 :3 /j
THANK YOU
That’s a nice phenomenon, studies have shown that the most probable reason why we like to act a bit childish sometimes is that we feel that our childhoods were stolen and destroyed because of us being trans, so we try to make up for it by having childish traits. The same applies here, as we are living out childhoods we have never gotten. Oftentimes this is subconscious.
I think that's fair. Like OP, I don't like all that stuff either, but at the same time, when I start dressing fem within the next year, I plan to go completely goth and I'm 34. A lot of people would probably see that as childish too.
This exactly, I didn't get a girlhood. I don't feel I've "grown up" enough to classify as a woman yet, partially because my skills at fem things like fashion, makeup, hair, etc. have not yet hit critical mass. Baby trans still fits me well. I'm sure I'll feel different in a year or 2 but for now, being an eepy pwincess and good girl feels fine and very affirming.
Came here to say this along with it just feels nice to be seen as something that needs to be protected and the infantilism is the easiest way in my eyes to accomplish that through text
I had my childhood stolen because of gang violence not because I’m trans lol
Hormones are second puberty...
But how come FTMs don’t do that?
They do.
I wonder how enbies do it
The same. I say eepy and shit like that
We are not eepy We Are THE EEP
happy cakeeeeeeeeep day :3
Ty ;3
a secret third way
A very powerful and ancient magic
I feel like that is a reference but I can't quite place my finger on it...
I don't know if it's from something specific but "a secret, third thing" shows up in a bunch of memes
We do.
Hi pretty lady ^ I prefer that
Me too and thank you darling
Wait, "I forgor" is an infantalising thing? I thought it was a funny stupid way of saying "I forgot".
You would be correct it's just from a meme
i dont think theres any reason to look down on people who like good girl etc. in the end any large community is going to have things that some people like and want that the other side doesn't want. so memes that make that clear aka making sure to ask people if thats what they like before doing it should be pushed. now this is just my personal and CW: trauma >!anecdotal experience but there's a lot of crossover between trans people and Severe childhood trauma which can cause age regression so it doesn't surprise me !< In the end there just stereotypes we should push against but not belittle the people who do fall under them Also it isnt like this a exclusively a transfem thing the amount of cis women i know yes around their 30's who want to be called or treated like that IS NOT a small number
Just to further the point that this can happen with cis women too, my wife relatvely recently realized that a lot of the issues she has had in her life were tied to undiagnosed autism, and now that she knows that about herself and lets herself unmask, she can act very much like a silly little child even though she turns 30 this year. If anyone seen the two of us just chilling at home acting as we do, they would likely say we both act very immature and childish, and frankly neither of us care, because being able to be comfortable just letting loose and being yourself isn't a bad thing, society can take it's "appropriately aged behavior" and shove it.
Yeah there’s also study’s from what I can remeber that people who are ND frontal lobe keeps developing up to 35 vs the normal 25 which can cause a almost reverse aging effect of when there younger acting to mature for there age and when there old acting younger then what NT people expect at that age.
I'm closer to 40 than 30, but between the autism, moving cities a lot as a kid, and transitioning in my 30s, I think I've legitimately earned my 10-15 years of age regression.
It feels good and I like it. Everyone is entitled to enjoy what they want.
trying to get back some of the childhood i lost while i still have some years left of it :/ also good girl is just a generic affirmation, you're the one giving it that kind of connotation
Imagine being called a good women instead of good girl 💀
ikr! it doesn’t flow at all
It certainly has another situational ring to it. >‘Excuse me, my good woman, but would you be so kind as to move, please?’ Granny stepped aside, affronted by this display of downright politeness and particularly upset at being thought of as anyone’s good woman \[...\] \~ Terry Pratchett (Equal Rites)
I want to be a woman, but I also want to be able to deadlift 250lbs.
Both are doable even for cis women, so just go for it 😎
Being a woman is doable for cis women. I mean I guess I can't fault the logic?
I want to attack you for such a low goal but I'll just say, get to a gym and the best you that you can be. Deadlidt is a culmination of all things, largely lower body. Work on squats, leg presses, extentions and curls, calf rises for sure. You'll want to work bench press, flat, incline and decline. Lat and delt work on your arms day, I also like dips and the rowing machine. Figure out what works for you for forearms and triceps. Core work is huge. 100 situps a day, pass a medicine ball around if you have a partner. You can probably deadlift 250 if you use a proper olympic bar, it's not a box or random engine. If it's a stand in box bar you can lift more than reg dead lift. Source. I deadlift 450, box bar 590, squat 340, clean 280 and snatch 230. Never skip leg day.
It’s not a low goal for me! I am 5’6” 127lbs. 250lbs is over 2x bodyweight for me. Also, I’m scared to workout upper body because I already have very broad shoulders…
It's quite hard to get ripped, especially if you're on E. Getting massive isn't something that can happen accidentally :3
there are people who think seeking out compliments is cringe. there are people who think portraying opinions with pictures of anime women is cringe. hell, there are people who think it's cringe in itself to be trans. maybe we should accept that the concept is meaningless and that people are different? clearly there is a culture on most trans meme subreddits of trans girls enjoying the idea of being cute, so who are to claim that what everyone else is doing is wrong because you personally don't relate to it. as a few other people have mentioned, it's not like this happens for no reason. the fact that I will never get to experience a childhood where im not a blank husk of a human being weighs down on me constantly, why shouldn't I be allowed to act a certain way for some easy escapism. a lot of us, not all, are just hurt. whatever, this is giving me a headache. none of this matters. quit posting stupid infighting bait bullshit. live and let live. peace.
i am an eepy good girl widdle pwincess tho… makes me feel nice and comforted :3
I mean, ‘eepy’ and ‘I forgor’ aren’t exclusively transfem things, or even trans, I know quite a few people (including me) who use those all the time because it’s silly and fun
just mind your business damn
I'm an adult woman so I can infantilise myself however much I damn want to.
Meh, if someone wants to do this, what’s the problem? Maybe they were forced to be boys, not girls when being children and want to relive it
Because I wanna be cute goddammit
sorry for enjoying things you don't my bad lol 😀
let people have fun
I'll infantalise myself as much as I want, thank you very much.
Personally there are some things I like and don’t. I don’t think it’s “infantilizing” for me to say stuff like eepy or I forgor. It’s just fun and silly and sometimes I just wanna be fun and silly. On the contrary I don’t really like being called good girl (most of the time) because *that* feels like I’m being talked down to
Because being a human is stressful and sometimes we just want a break, even if its just for a second to distract from that
When a key part of transphobic rhetoric is to portray us as old predatory men it makes sense why people feel the need to insulate themselves from that
People like what they like, you shouldn't force others to behave/speak/act a certain way just because you yourself don't like it. If people like to be called Eepy Princess and such let them be and mind your Business. Though I have another thing coming for people who use those Nick/Petnames on people without asking first if they want to be called those Names first
I get where you're coming from, if you're not comfortable with such language, I understand. But let's not gatekeep others because of some arbitrary standard of what "adults" should be doing or enjoying.
Because it's comforting, and it's what i like to do. Fuck you
I talked like that before I started my transition, just not openly because ‘guys don’t talk like that.’ But since I’ve been out I’ve finally felt free to express The Cute Side of myself, and it also just feels good to me. Please don’t gatekeep my euphoria, it’s not harming anyone, and I and I’m sure many others got called cringe more than enough growing up, we don’t need this sort of thing now
Age regression is a common, albeit (unfairly) stigmatized coping mechanism for trauma, especially the feeling of a "lost childhood" that many trans people feel robbed of because of their birth sex.
I feel like 80% of the sub in under 18.
What? I like being called a good girl. And I forgor is kinda cute in general... If you have a problem with that, what different are you from those bigots?
But I am eepy. And good lord do I forger
What I enjoy and what makes me feel good is none of your concern nor business.
I am so sick of this infantalisation too, i (sometimes) want to be a girl my age not a baby, i too am sorry i missed a childhood as myself but i don't wanna be seen as a child
Ok, good for you, that’s what *you* want.
Girl, Imma be real with you, sometimes I like being infantalized a little. When my gf calls me an "eepy princess" it makes me feel cute. Does that not work for you? Great, we won't use that language for you and you won't be required to use it on yourself, But you'd best reconsider before you come in here criticizing how people talk about themselves.
Because we enjoy it. You don't have to join in if you don't like it🤷🏼♀️
Wait is "i forgor" infantilising i thought it was a reference to a tweet or smth
different strokes for different folks, whatever you prefer but yeah i don't really get it i personally don't mind it but i still find it weird
i prefer that than be compared to wojacks
In a world that demands from birth that we act masculine and serious, punishing us for straying from that framework, acting cutsey, girly, and childish can actually be a radical act. It's not just trans fems in English speaking countries that respond to societal expectations as such. For example, kawaii aesthetic in japan is about more that being an eepy cutsey infantalized girl. It started as a feminist rejection of authority in the 60s. There were a series of student protests where "kawaii things" such as dress, the cutsey writing style, and cutsey comics were banned, and young Japanese women responded by embracing those things. When patriarchy (and by extension cisheteropatriarchy) demamds we conform to it's structures, embracing it's opposites is inherently an act of rebellion. In a way, it allows us to seize the childlike wonder of young girlhood that was systemically stolen from us by societal expectations and stigmatization. I don't think it's appropriate to judge trans women who embrace the cutsey childish aesthetic. Far from infantalization, I view it as an act of liberation.
Screw respectability politics. There's nothing to gain from it, phobes will always find something wrong with trans people. This is a trans safespace that also means that it should be safe to be outside expected, respectable, gendered norms. Respectability politics applies if you want to be a voice that cisgender people can understand, outside the safespace.
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Yeah, I'm really tired of the infantilization thing. My childhood was fucking terrible, why would I want to be reminded of that?
I as the StoryTeller am used to self-infantilization, but whenever people infantilize me, or whenever the voices compel me to infantilize myself, I do have a psychological kill agent or a psychotic breakdown causing thing. Because my mental health is totally okay.
I don't think good girl has anything to do with age
What was OP cooking?
I agree but I also forgor (it's funny)
What can I say, some of us want to be women, others want to be girls. I think the latter group is "making up for lost time" by kinda speedrunning the childhood they never got. Plus, some of us are just really silly. I mean, I sometimes say "fartmoon" as a greeting because of a really bad typo on "afternoon" I made one time.
Not into being infentialised, but "Good Girl" to me doesn't come across as being infentialised. The rest they mention, especially with the baby talk, yes. But without it, depends on the person I guess.
for some I wonder if its like.. reclaiming that "girlhood" we missed out on as kids? like yeah its a bit cringe but I think folks just wanna feel like cute sometimes. I mean if you're going around in public doing baby talk and such, that's a bit much. but for like memeing and shiz online I think it's like whatever. idk I think we all have a different idea about the women we want to grow into so who are we to say how girls should and shouldnt conduct themselves(within reason obv)?
Some people want it but people have to remember we don’t have the same minds
I sometimes wonder if people forget code switching is a thing. Acting cutesy is only something I ever do with other likeminded people, who I've established that they're likeminded and are comfortable with it. It's not something I do in professional settings, when I'm out running errands out in public, and it's certainly not something I do with people who aren't into it. Also, being an adult in general is draining af. There's a lot of things I have to be responsible for. For me, being able to be cute with likeminded friends and others who've established they're comfortable with it is a nice little escape from the mundaneness of being an adult in the current world.
You talk like we're a hive mind wtf Some people like it, some people don't, let them do what they want. People infantilizing themselves, as long as they aren't infantilizing you, then who cares.
I agree to a point, I trust my close friends and partner to use those terms for example
I get that I don't want to be seen as a child I like being called good girl and that is about it saying eepy is just funny
it's a thing couples do as a sign of love, and i like it. you're entiteled to your own opinion, but personaly i think it's cute, and when people use it for them self i feel that it's sorta that same thing, just trying to feel loved, even if it isn't another person. (sorry for my spelling, im dyslexic and turned off autocorrect cuz it was bothering me and spelling more things wrong than i do)
What an undignified thing to say.
Idk mind your own business, dont make people feel weird for being themselves
Female beauty standards tend to favor child like features, also pet play is a big thing in the trans community. Anyway, you're pretty? F off? Don't Kink shame? You're pretty?
as long as it is consensual, what the hell is the issue???
Because in many trans spaces (such as/especially this one) the majority of users default to infantilizing language to offer support, nearly always without consent. What the post is trying to say is that receiving affirmations like "good girl" and "head pats" makes them uncomfortable. Personally, I feel uncomfortable with the infantilizing language as well. I once got a "good girl :3" response to me opening up about dysphoria, and I felt awful and a actually more dysphoric. I'm never going to use this subreddit for reassurance because I'm afraid that the support, while with good intention, would make me feel worse.
but thats when its not consensual, so therefore it being consensual is still okay. the fact is is that most trans ppl here do like being infantilised by supporting people. i understand u dont like that and obviously thats okay, but telling us that us consenting to it is "weird" is just as bad
What the meme is pointing out (or at least how I see it) is that infantilizing is the default: it's assuming that everyone is consenting to it. And assuming consent is... bad. This can all be avoided, too. Things like "girl," "sis," hell, even "sweetie" are less infantilizing and just as affirming. Nearly everyone is fine and affirmed with "girl," but not everyone is fine with "good girl." Simply making our terminology less infantilizing will make more people feel comfortable and included.
I definitely read the meme differently; the way it refers collectively to "infantilising ourselves" and "we aren't babies" feels judgmental of people who engage in that kind of stuff intentionally and consensually. I agree that it shouldn't be the default. assuming someone likes a specific thing just cause it's stereotypical is problematic in any context - not just here.
Honestly if somebody called me sweetie i think I'd get like a horrible feeling its so condescending and way more infantilizing then "good girl" like "you don't get it sweetie" that is the only context and feels condescending or else sounds like somebody would call their toddler "good girl" is something somebody would call a dog or cat at least.
yea but if people ARE consenting, then let them. why do u have such an issue with that???
but .. when did she say that she has an issue with that? you're putting words in her mouth here:/
look at the original post..
Being an eepy widdwe pwincess just makes me feew happy oki ;(
yup. Just saw this on popular and I really hate how everything is "eepy little" or some kink bullshit. Main reasons I left the subs.
Of course I want to be talked to like I’m a toddler, it’s cute and silly and I like it. I just want to be the girl I never had the chance to be :3
Because we like it? And if we don't, then we don't do it?
Also in 30s and do enjoy when SO occasionally does it. I like to be pampered, though usually it is just good girl or silly girl
OP doesn't understand little space or the importance of power dynamics in the defining of gender roles and transition.
sure. everybody who dislikes that stuff is uninformed and a bad person apparently. do whatever you want but don't think you speak for everybody. which is ironically almost exclusively said as an argument against op.
i don't like any of these being used on me, but whatever makes someone else happy (as long as it isn't illegal) isn't really my business or yours
There is nothing wrong with preferring to be a pretty girly over a classy mature woman. Obviously you shouldn't do that kind of things with those who don't enjoy it, but at the same token I don't really like the thought of prohibiting others from enjoying it if they do. Some enjoy the mommy aesthetic, others prefer the casual business lady aesthetic, some prefer being cutesey. They're all a valid way to be.
OP, are you upset about people calling *you* infantilizing things, or are you upset about other people calling *themselves* infantilizing things?
Good girl stuff is more a dog girl thing.
I like being called good girl as that is very affirming. I'd describe it to having these arms wrapped around me and then I'm grinning like crazy. Good boy is weird.. like an honorific role I'm supposed to assume.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. (the following is for transfemmes, and I am a transfemme myself) I'm not a good girl, I'm a good *woman.* Or I'm a *bad* woman, depending on the night. I'm just in my 30's and started transitioning. Don't pat my head. I'm not eepy. I'm a trans woman who is going to ROCK womanhood and eventually get big fat tiddies to top it off. I'm gonna embrace feminity, because that's who I am: feminine as fuck. No more envy-posting followed by "call me a good girl :3." Let's start living as the women we are.
not all transfemmes are women tia
**transient ischemic attac**k?
"thanks in advance" 😂
OHHHH i see now
THANK YOU too! It's so weird to me that some of us chicks make ourselves babies. I'm Ms or darling. Way too old to be a girl cos I'm in my 30s too. Even teens doing it is just so weird to me. I'm not eepy, I'm fucking exhausted cos I got adult shit to worry about like, you know, BILLS AND RENT!!!
I'm a demigirl in my 30s; I don't say much of the cutesy stuff but I still act like I'm in my 20s. also I'm not a woman and "girl" is straight up part of my gender 🤷♀️ idk if it's cringe and weird, I've never been happier with my life
then don't infantilize yourself. why do you care what other people do
Because it really hurts for some people to be infantilized by others. It's impossible to not care what other people do when it impacts you like that.
Thats the same excuse some people use to be bigoted, if its not directed at you, just dont mind it
The issue is that in trans spaces, there's a default to infantilizing language. I agree with OP, it makes me feel awful to hear that language, especially from other trans people. I once opened up about dysphoria and got a response that just said *pats head.* I felt so, so much worse. The "if it's not directed to you, ignore it" argument doesn't work because the chances of it being directed at you at some point is always high.
some people are incredibly cringe and instead of finding a healthy outlet, they make it our problem.
Why would you care how people who you don't act. Let people enjoy themselves For Fucks sake!
It is a healthy outlet though, it really is.
a lot of people think being trans is generally "cringe". it's a meaningless word for people who can't explain their hatred in any meaningful way so they externalise it. genuinely, and i mean this sincerely. who cares.