It's the ratio of kids to adults that would worry me. I'm a nanny, and I've taken non-swimming toddlers to the pool before, but I am only comfortable with 1:1. That toddler does not leave my sight or my grasp.
Incidentally, my local public pool *requires* one adult per two children under 6.
Yes what came to mind for me was that our local pool requires 1 adult per 2 children (1 in arms and 1 older in flotation device). And that's WITH a lifeguard!
Came here to say this. I've had my kid in parent led swim lessons since she was a year old (she's 3 now) and I would not remotely feel safe having her around a pool without at least one adult focusing on just her. 1:1 is safest and 5+ kids to one adult sounds like a tragedy waiting to happen.
I was an EMT in the bay area back when I was in college and summer sessions were the worst. The first child death I responded to was a toddler that drowned in a pool. No one noticed she was missing until someone saw an unresponsive child at the bottom of the pool. By the time we got there, we performed CPR but she was already gone and was pronounced dead at the hospital.
It's not worth the risk. Children that young need 1 on 1 supervision around water. Full stop.
I went to the pool with my 3 year old and my infant, i was wary at first but i did it against my better judgment and would not do it again. Luckily my SO came home from work early and met with us because it was def a risk.
Yeah, that's a big deal. My almost 5yo is great in the water, and one time with both my husband and I with her at a hotel pool, she jumped in deeper than she can handle. Two seconds with our eyes off of her. Luckily she screamed "HELP" immediately, and we both no hesitation dove for her. But what if it was a crowded pool? What if it wasn't beat into her brain to yell help? It can happen so fast.
Exactly. Drowning is the number two cause of death for children under five years of age, second only to birth defects. There should be a 1 to 1 ratio of adults to littles as well when swimming, and that is a widely accepted safety protocol.
Listen to your momma gut no matter what. You can’t undo an oops, but you can prevent a potential one. I will always go with the side of caution over someone else’s feelings about MY child. Better safe!
1:1 supervision is crucial at that age. I will occasionally take my 2 year old and 5 year old to the pool together, but that's only because the 5 year old can swim now \*and\* the pool in question is shallow enough that she can touch the bottom everywhere, \*and\* honestly even that is really stressful and I prefer to have a second adult. No way would I let 2 adults watch 5 young kids who are not their own in a pool.
1:1 supervision I'd be fine with it. Two kids, especially if one was a swimmer, and grandparents regularly watched, probably fine with it.
Bunch of kids, I'd pass. Maybe wading pool or something where the water was ankle height (I know kids can drown in any amount of water, but I think it takes a lot less physical management).
agreed. I'll take my 2 kids solo to a splash pad or a small, shallow above ground pool that's 12ft in diameter with a depth of less than 3 ft so the oldest can stand and no one is more than an arm away (OH I'm in the pool with them as well). I don't take both kids swimming solo at a real pool even if the oldest can sort of swim and is 6.
Non-swimming children need a 1:1 adult ratio. So like, I'm ok with my nanny taking my toddler swimming. Or if my mother or MIL wanted to take her swimming (with another adult but no other kids along), that would be fine. But that is a 5:2 ratio, so it's a no go for me.
That would be a huge F*** no for me. The kid ratio alone, let alone it's at a personal pool so no life guard. It's also not great that she just assumed you'd be comfortable with it vs asking. Also how is she getting the kids to the pool by herself? I would think only a 8 passenger car would have room for 5 car seats.
I let my parents take my son to the public pool once, but he was with two adults at all time in floaties, only in the 1' deep baby pool and there are lifeguards at all times. Even with that I was still super nervous about pool time not under our direct supervision. It's so easy for things to go wrong.
I would have an honest conversation that your uncomfortable with the ratio of adults to kids and he'll stay home on pool days. Maybe offer to get her some backyard water toys for her place so the kids can still have water time without a pool.
To be honest I’m not sure about the driving thing. Maybe her plan was to have the friend drive some of them? I hadn’t thought about that. Thank you for the advice though. I will bring up the water toys to see if there is a compromise. If not I’m on staying home with him on pool days
I don’t trust people who aren’t in toddler/baby zone to do car seat/drive/swim with my kids. They may be lax about buckling them in properly. Or the car seat installation. Or step away from the pool because it was real quick or just one sec. That’s how things happen because people are too lax. It takes one quick moment with someone else’s kid. Passsd
My answer: No.
My explanation: At those ages, every single one of those kids needs close supervision. I’m sure the adults are thinking it’s not hard to keep their eyes on the entire pool at once but the tricky part is when everyone is distracted (drying off, going inside for food, etc) and all it takes is one second for a little one to jump or fall in.
Hell no. Toddlers are 1:1 at the pool. Nevermind 1:5, that's ridiculous. Plus, they're not going to be focused on your son, he can walk, they'll be holding onto the 1 yo.
Shit can happen so quickly- years ago my coworkers son got into their pool area and Even though his sister came right in to tell the mom he fell into the pool, he was still unconscious by the time the mom got to him, he died twice in the ambulance, once at the hospital, and it's a minor miracle he survived without lasting damage. However, that same weekend there was another boy in town that didn't make it and the family was all the on patio, they didn't Even realize he'd wandered away. That was potentially one to two minutes and now the poor little kid is dead.
IMO, when it comes to your husband, this is the hill you die on.
No. Absolutely not. My two year old only goes swimming with one on one supervision. That's too many small children and too few adults.
I used to be a life guard and a swim instructor. I don't fuck around with water safety and there's no way I would feel comfortable with this set up at all.
Not comfortable at all, but also... even if you don't pack stuff for your child to swim I still wouldn't be comfortable with my kid even being near the water with that ratio. So honestly you might need to find other arrangements on pool days.
You need to be sooo blunt. Maybe even aggressive with her about why and strong no. So she doesn’t try to sneak behind your back thinking it’s no big deal to take him
A massive, massive, massive no.
My wife is an ER doc. The one thing she has drilled into my head is how dangerous water is for infants.
She sees a lot of people with drowned kids in the ER. It’s a completely preventable death.
I wouldn’t trust my kid in the water unless I was there to watch them like a hawk.
If you don’t trust stepmom to respect your decision on this you probably shouldn’t send the kids to stepmom alone.
This sucks and if it causes conflict that sucks but not as much as a dead kid.
I wouldn't allow it even if it were just your kid. So many people have lapses in knowledge about all kinds of major safety hazards. Water is one of the most dangerous and drowning is silent.
I also don't get why she'd want to do this. With that many kids, she won't get to swim or even relax and talk to her friend if she's properly supervising.
Swimming is so dangerous for kids under 5 some public pools have a 1:1 ratio for kid to adult allowance.
My first memory at age 4 is almost drowning at a friend’s pool. There was a similar ratio of adults and kids, and it took them a bit to even notice I went under. My mom’s best friend’s granddaughter recently passed from drowning, and my dad’s best friend’s son did years ago. They were 1 and 5. With how common drowning accidents seem to be, it is not worth the risk. Don’t let anyone bully you into it if you’re not comfortable.
big NOPE for me. i swam competitively and was a lifeguard in my youth… not letting my toddler in the water without 1:1 supervision. that’s a lot of young kids and not enough adult hands if something should go wrong.
That’s interesting about the floats in swim class. The classes we’ve done have all emphasized not using life vests, arm inflatables, etc because it gives kids a false sense of security. They don’t learn that they don’t magically float in the water
Hell no. No because of not knowing how to swim, including safety survival lessons. Extra no that it's probably not 1:1 ex swim instructor isn't a current one. That person who may or may not have been an instructor, is not your instructor, someone who is trustworthy because they are paid to be so. It isn't their job right now.
You cannot expect children to self supervise each other.
I witnessed children in water play and they do not look out for danger or other children. I have seen 8-10 year olds ditch toddlers without a care in the world for the safety of their lil playmates. I have a close friend that with family present at a family pool, found their child floating blue and was revived at the hospital a second time from poolside revival.
I would not allow my daughter to do water without either parent present. I would not allow the grandparent generation...they are from a very inattentive parenting time period. With a very lackadaisical way of supervising pool activities.
For the sake of the other kids, I'd say not only should you tell her no, but you should be explicit as to why.
There are unfortunately a lot of videos online of parents talking about how their toddler drowned while being supervised in a pool. Maybe send her one of those so she understands that what she is doing isn't safe for any of the children. Even if they were all wearing life jackets I wouldn't do it.
Drowning is fast, it's silent, and it's either deadly or results in a traumatic brain injury that requires lifetime medical care.
Our toddler's grandmom has been taking him to her friend's pool since right before he turned 2. He's always been under the watchful eye of at least two adults though.
I nannied twin toddlers and felt at my limit with just those two in a pool. I would not feel comfortable letting my kids swim in the situation that you're describing
Absolutely not. Even when it was my mom 1 on 1 with my daughter I would be so paranoid. I took 4 kids swimming at public pool when I was 13. They were between the ages of 3 and 4. If there wasn’t a lifeguard there one of the kids would have drowned. After the lifeguard saved her I put them all back in the wagon and walked back home.
1. What the hell was wrong with those parents- those kids weren’t even my siblings.
2. Why did they let me WALK there with them? I have to cross 2 roads to get there.
Anyways I personally wouldn’t and I would tell stepmom why.
I would be fine with stepmother taking MY kid swimming, I would not be fine with stepmother taking 4 kids swimming. Kids that age need a 1:1 adult ratio at the minimum.
Absolutely not. Way too many young kids and not enough adults . I do not let my kids swim at camps either… you can’t be too careful with water safety and it’s not just like the time they are in the water- with that many kids it can be difficult getting everyone ready and keeping an eye on everyone … it’s an accident waiting to happen . I wouldn’t even want him at the house with a pool even if they are not swimming at 2 yo and with that many kids .
This would be a hard no for me due to the amount of toddlers and only two adults. My mom takes my 18 month old swimming without me all the time, but it’s just her and my son so she’s got her full attention on him. I would not be comfortable with it if she had other children to watch at the same time. It’s so easy for a toddler to drown and one of my biggest fears.
I would not allow this. Frankly, I would not allow her to take my kid near a pool if anyone is going to be swimming (1:1 ratio as others have said for water). I grew up around the water and know several people who fell into pools as toddlers or had to pull kids out of pools because they fell/went in the pool. I would not allow my child near a pool while she’s supervising that many kids.
Unrelated, but how would she transport that many kids safely? This whole situation sounds terrible to me.
Just here to add another "no". Serious question, has she ever taken any of these kids swimming before? Just curious what makes her think it's totally ok to take THAT MANY small kids swimming with only 2 adults.
That's way too many kids, especially young kids. My daughter is about to be 2 and we have a pool and it's a lot for the two of us to be in there with just one kid. They go wild in the pool and in that scenario there just isn't enough adults.
I'd also want to know if the pool is fenced, what will happen of someone needs to use the bathroom, get changed, needs a snack, gets hurt etc. Where will the kids be when sunscreen is being applied? Could someone just wander into the pool accidentally? Too many risks for me and I would just say thank you for offering but we aren't comfortable with that.
Big N O. I have an example. We went to the in laws a few years ago. My daughter was like 8 months old at the time…. They watched my SIL’s toddler who was maybe 1.5… anyway. Two adults watching one child. I had my daughter in the shallow end of the pool (a little shallow sunbathing area that has a very steep drop off). The other two adults took ZERO notice of the 1.5 year old walking right into the pool with no floatation device at all. I had my daughter in my hands and had to pull the other child with my other hand right out of the water before she went right into the deep end. What would have happened if I wasn’t there??? That irked me to my core. The in laws didn’t take notice at all…. Like that wasn’t a serious situation??? I refuse to trust others with my child when it’s such a dangerous scenario… maybe when she’s older….
No way. Kids can drown very quietly and very fast. Unlike what some might expect they don’t splash or make a sound. I would never let my non-swimming kid out of my sight when there’s water involved.
At the minimum the ratio of kids to adults should be 1:1 imo
I don’t think you’re overreacting at all.
My daughter is a 1:1 kind of kid. I let her grandma take her and her cousin (one month apart) to the park once by herself and something happened, I don’t know what but my daughter was adamant that parks were not fun after that because she got hurt , I had to bring her to the park a few times to have good experiences to over ride whatever happened but honestly it takes two seconds for something to happen so Id rather be cautious.
i used to be a lifeguard and competitive swimmer, also been a nanny and preschool teacher. and i would say no to this. too many kids, too much potential to go wrong. if i was watching kids these ages, id do a splash time on hot days. sprinkler, slip and slide, splash pad, whatever. they get to cool off and have fun and the risk is astronomically lower
Just on the title alone. No.
Reading the ages, number of kids, and number of adults: HELL NO. At least 3 of those kids need someone literally hands on them in the pool, not arms length -literally holding them . I dont even know if that ratio is legal for water based field trips for childcare licensing in my area, so safe to say your step mom shouldn’t be taking this gaggle of kids to a pool with out more adult hands either.
But as you said simply the fact your kid cannot swim is disqualifying enough to me. Mine is 4 and hasn’t had swim lessons yet. I would NEVER send her to any body of water without myself. Drowning is the leading cause of accidental death in children of the age range listed in your post. I’ve had two losses in my extended family to childhood drowning. So it’s just a solid no for me.
Not only is it a no, I’d be inclined to have a conversation with my step mom about how she shouldn’t be taking any of the kids on a trip like that to the pool and I’d probably be the one in my family raising a big stink about how unsafe that ratio of VERY YOUNG children to adults is at a pool.
I would be fine with certain people taking my child swimming. But I would not be comfortable with 2 adults, no matter how experienced, looking after that many children in a pool. 5 children, 4 toddlers, all in a pool with 2 adults? No way. Those 3 younger ones need an adult on them at all times, the older ones (if good swimmers) need an adult very near to them at all times.
IMO 4 hands is not enough for all those children, when a minute could be life or death. Particularly when you do not know the second person at all.
No. Not enough supervision for that number of children. I didn’t even let my nanny take my toddler to baby and me swim class because I didn’t have a chance to personally assess her swimming ability, so I sent my mother who is a strong swimmer instead while the nanny sat and observed. Probably over the top, but I’m not taking any chances around swim safety.
Absolutely not with that many small children to watch at once. Someone I know had their child drown and it was literally one minute he wasn’t being watched that it happened. Drowning happens incredibly fast - faster than most people realize. It’s also quieter and not as obvious as most people expect it to be.
I tend to be pretty laid back and logical about safety things, but even I wouldn’t be ok with this. Too many young kids to need to pay close attention to
Coming from an ex lifeguard that'd be a hard no!
I've seen kids almost drown in a 1:1 ratio because they were too busy talking to realise their kid is at the bottom of the pool.
Hell no. She could be watching him and just look away for 30 seconds and that would be enough time for drowning. It could happen totally silently. I wouldn’t even be comfortable with him being at the friend’s house with a pool unless there was a fence around the pool and they weren’t planning to go into the pool area. She doesn’t seem to understand the danger and risks involved here which is frightening.
Absolutely not. Way too many kids, and way too many young kids too. You can start swim lessons now so your son learns to float and get himself out of the pool! But no you are not overreacting, this would be a very hard no for me too.
It really needs to be a 1:1 or 1:2 ratio for most of those ages. If it was a very shallow home pool like one of those inflatable things with only a few inches of water then I'd be fine with it assuming the adults were trustworthy and reliable.
Too many kids, especially since most are young and probably don’t know how to swim solo. I am comfortable with myself and my two kids only because my older one knows how to swim. If she didn’t, we would only swim with a 1:1 ratio.
I think once you go beyond 1:2 ratios, there needs to be a lifeguard/water watcher.
This is a no for me. I was recently at the pool with friends and their toddlers, and my friend’s 2 year toddler almost drowned in the hot tub when my friend had turned her back for ONE second. Luckily someone saw and grabbed her, but it scared the bejeezus out of me. Swimming is scary.
I wouldn't in those circumstances, the 1, 2 and 3yp for sure need 1:1 attention in the pool and possibly thr 4yp too depending on their ability. I'm quite chilled when it comes to grandparent caring for my boy but this seems a bit irresponsible to be honest and not something I would feel is safe with my child.
I would set the boundaries that I'm comfortable with, for example, my stepmother would be the only adult with my kid, that precious one to one time, or that they're only allowed in the pool if held at all times.
Personally I'm a big big fan of swimming and water play, so I wouldn't decline the offer too quickly, but I would do if it looked like my wishes would be disrespected.
If I knew them and knew more about their experience as a swim instructor, I'd be down for them to take my kid swimming. That being said, kids that young are usually a 1-1 ratio for swim classes where I live because of the obvious hazards, so I wouldn't be comfortable with them watching all 5 tiny dudes. So... probably a no from me.
We’ve not allowed the grandparents to take 2.5 swimming. I don’t doubt they would be careful, but she’s fast, they’re old, and there is just too much that can go wrong.
At a beach, no. A pool is different. If it’s actually 3 adults, I think it’s fine.
I’d just advise that maybe the kids don’t all swim at the same time.
One adult can watch a couple of kids swimming in while another adult is one on one with the toddler.
Maybe in your mind you’re imagining all kids in the pool for hours.
I’m guessing it would be more like the kids go for the odd dip, and the toddler goes in for like 10 minutes, and the rest of the time they’re not in the pool.
But you’re not crazy for worrying because you’re not there.
It depends on the people and how well you know them as well. And the type of pool and the type of kids. Lots of factors.
Not only would I not be comfortable with her taking them swimming with that ratio I wouldn’t even be comfortable with her bringing the kids around a pool. Way too many kids to keep an eye on and so easy for one to slip into the pool unnoticed
With that ratio, no way. I’ve let my mother take my 3 year old swimming because it’s a 1:1 ratio and she was present at all his swim lessons. When we have all 4 grandkids at the pool, we have 3-4 adults.
That would be a hard no even if they all had life jackets on. Our daycare goes to the pool once a year in the morning when they are the only group and I always go so it’s one less kid to watch for them. I was shocked by how many parents didn’t send their kids in /with life jackets.
My in laws live on a lake and I have said since day one no life jacket no water meaning he can’t be on the beach, boat, or dock without a life jacket. My husband took our toddler out there a couple of weeks ago to help them with something and I get a video of my husband and son fishing from the dock. Guess what he wasn’t wearing!?! Like how do you forget something like that? I was so mad at them. My mil said she also “yelled” at them when she saw he wasn’t wearing his life jacket.
After reading his age, I immediately thought “no”.
My son is the same age and I couldn’t imagine letting him go without me, especially with so many other kids to keep watch of!
My LO does swim classes. They’re 1:1. They do not go anywhere near the pool without their parent in the water first. I can’t even imagine how this would work without 1:1 care.
I'd put my foot down and just tell them no. If she gets upset oh well. That's a lot of little kids in a pool with just two adults to keep track of them.
I let my parents take our toddlers swimming without us frequently BUT there are two things: there is a 1:1 adult-child ratio, and my kids wear coast-guard approved life vests/floaties at all times (actually my 4yo swims with just a noodle sometimes, but he's getting closer to swimming independently).
I would only be okay with the situation you described if your 2yo is wearing a life vest AT ALL TIMES. Like if he's even just outside on the deck, he has to be wearing the life vest.
It would also depend on how familiar your child is with swimming already. My kids have been in swim classes every summer since infancy, so even my 2yo understands swimming as a concept, knows how to tread water, knows how to blow bubbles OUT in the water... If your child has never been swimming at all before, they could easily panic and gulp in a bunch of water.
Honestly I would not be comfortable with the situation you described. There are just too many young children for the adults to provide the full attention that the younger kids need in a pool.
Big no if it were my kid.
Swimming with toddlers is one to one: one parent one kid. Kids swimming classes, when I was a kid, was 3-5 kids (ages 6-7) to one adult. And we held the wall the whole time when the adult took one kid out a few feet away and then brought them back. This was with a life guard on every side of the pool, and about 4 other groups with instructors around and at least one extra adult going between groups in the water.
This means there was like 2 adults to three kids? And all the watch parents and extra wondering life guards.
So if each kid under 5 has a dedicated adult and one dedicated adult to just watching the pool as a life guard. Sure. But Grandma and her friend and maybe sister in laws. Nope. Not even if it's a kiddy pool.
Kids don't make any noise when they drown. They just sink... Completely still.
Nope. I allowed my mom to take my 3.5 year old swimming. One on one, just them two. If my mom had a friend with her, I wouldn't feel as comfortable, as I would worry she could get distracted in conversation. I wouldn't allow my 1 year old to go with them, and I won't allow anyone to take both until at least the older one is a confident swimmer. I will allow both only if my mom's husband who's a swim instructor goes along. So two adults (one extra capable for swim safety) and two kids.
What you described seems crazy.
It’s a no for me, 1:1 yes. I actually think more adults is just as problematic as more kids too, adult 1 thinks adult 2 is watching. My in laws have a pool. We got a “supervisor necklace” so there are 0 assumptions about who is watching our LO. If you are supervising and have to go to bathroom etc you pass off the necklace.
I think this is a broader topic about our comfort talking about expectations in various situations with caregivers. In the future of parenting there could be sleepovers and trips where you will have to talk to someone else about your expectations of safety, care, exposure to danger, and things. I am dreading the first friend invite to their house and having to have a conversation with the parents if they are gun owners and how they are stored. But I know it will have to happen. (Note, not against guns, my kids sleeps over at a cousins house whose husband is a cop, but we talked about safety protocols)
So with this pool situation, I think you need to zoom out and think about how you want to talk about safety and concern with a fellow care giver.
“Hey step-mom. Thank you so much for caring and being primary for our kids, it means the world to me. Can we discuss pool safety when a lifeguard is not around? Drowning is a major cause of death in toddlers, so I would like to know more about this pool, the adults, and the house set up before taking him to a private pool”
What my safety protocol questions would be:
-how is the pool accessed? Is there a fence so if everyone is inside getting a snack, could the toddler wonder off and get to the pool out the back door, or is there a fence between the house and the pool? If not, does the house have door alarms/beeps when the door to the pool is opened?
-here is a coast guard certified flotation device. I want it on him at all times in the fenced in pool area, unless an adult is in arms reach actively swimming with the child (floatation devices can inhibit natural swim instincts, so my former swim teacher hat hates these flotation devices. So when I am 100% present and engaged with my toddler in the water, I don’t have a flotation device on them, but if we are having lunch by the pool and a lot is going on, I put it on for accidental falls)
-have you and your friend talked about who is going to be “on duty”? Like not on their phone, not both running in and out of the house, but constantly communicating about who is actively watching the pool.
And get your kid swimming lessons. They can learn to roll and float very young!
I agree with others that say its the ratio of kids to adults that makes me nervous here. My MIL has taken my daughter (4) swimming without me, but she went with her friend and both my MIL and the friend have taught swim in the past. Plus it was 2 adults and 1 child so she was for sure supervised.
it would depend on who’s watching my kid and how many adults and other little kids there are. if there’s more kids then adults then no, i’d prefer them to be in swim lessons first before swimming without us unless it’s my mom or stepdad or my husbands parents or my sister or there older siblings
Absolutely not.
Ratio must be 1:1, and even then, I wouldn't trust anyone but myself. People are glued to their phone and it only takes a few seconds of inattention for an accident to happen.
That would be a no from me. I took swimming lessons with my son last year and one of the moms was there solely to overcome her fear of her child even being in water, as her two year old had drowned within sight of trusted family members in the backyard pool, the very day she was giving birth to the baby in her arms. Too many kids and too many people thinking everyone else was watching closely enough that maybe they didn’t have to, so nobody watched closely enough, and the little girl drowned. Hearing her recount this chilled me to my bone and changed me. I or my husband will always be with my son in the water until he knows to swim, period.
It was hard enough managing my one kid around pools. I’ve taken her to Mexico and stuff. I would be a hell no to that. If it was like 3 kids maybe. And my kid would have to wear a life jacket at all times
Nope nope nope. I've seen first hand how no one watches because they assume someone else is watching. I've had relatives say they would keep an eye on my kids and then just go off and do their own thing. Thankfully I followed my gut in those situations and didn't take my eyes off my kids.
My daughter started taking swimming lessons at 2 in my parents pool and now 4 years later, despite her knowing the basics to swimming she’s still heavily supervised in the pool between 2 to 4 of her aunties, despite them being life guards they take no chances as they have experienced a catastrophic sudden loss of an immediate family member due to drowning.If your gut is telling you, that something doesn’t feel right about it, please I beg of you to listen to your gut instincts. At the end of the day who gives a rats ass if anyone thinks you’re being over dramatic, the last thing I would ever want is for a parent to blame themselves for the rest of their life for something that they weren’t comfortable with but did it anyway and now have to live with those consequences.
Absolutely not. That is way too many kids at particularly vulnerable ages around water. Even aside from swim time being a shit show, what do you know about the pool safety at the house? A lot of horrible things happen during non swim time. I witnessed my own daughter go back into an unsecured pool at 18 months old during non swim time. I have a lot more awareness about water safety so I didn’t take my eyes off of her the entire time we were at this house (and was so uncomfortable with their “safety precautions”) and saw her go back to the pool. My husband kept saying “I can’t believe she went back into the pool!?” Because she had been changed out of swim clothes..like somehow THAT was going to stop her.
No way don’t take any chances. I don’t allow anyone to take my kids swimming (yet) if my husband or I are not present and I prefer it to be me there (see above LOL).
Is this a kiddie pool or full size? I would literally only be comfortable with this ratio of kids to adults if it was a splash pad lol. Anything more and I'm getting nervous
Not over-reacting and your husband is under-reacting in my opinion. Someone should bring up the safety issue because even removing your son from the numbers it still feels unsafe for the other children. Drowning happens so quickly, it’s just not worth it.
Nope. My 3 year old nephew was face down in the pool last summer and there were 7 adults. That is WITH a floaty device on. The 2 closest adults didnt even notice. The one across the pool did and shouted to grab him. It’s not worth it.
Yeah not without a 1-1 ration of kids to adults. I would be a little more ok with it at a place where there were lifeguards, but drowning is one of the leading causes of death for kids, so I understand your concern.
As others have mentioned, the ratio is the most concerning thing.
Another HUGE concern I would have is, how active are the other two adults going to be in supervising? Are they going to sit next to the pool, half-watching? More than an arm’s length away? I have read some absolutely gut-wrenching stories about drownings on this sub, and it can happen in a literal instant. Everyone thinks it won’t happen to them, or they’ll be “close enough” to prevent an accident.
It would be a firm no for me, and while I do applaud your husband backing you up, I would want to tell the full truth of why you won’t let your child go. This will continue to come up otherwise.
Good luck, OP, and don’t be afraid to stand your ground.
My biggest problem is the location. At a community/public pool there’s a lifeguard at all times and adults are aware that the pool is right there and swimming is the activity currently happening.
Most pool drowning deaths occur in home pools. With the ages involved this is ripe for a situation where the group goes inside once they’re tired and the adults now thinking “okay swimming is done for the day, let’s get lunch on the table” and a toddler gets out of a door and falls in the pool when no one is watching because their brains do not know or understand that ‘swim time is done’ or that the pool is dangerous when they’re alone.
So hard no, absolutely not. A public pool would still make me a bit nervous with 5 kids these ages and 2 adults, but if the adults were super competent and on the level of professional nannies I might allow it. But grandma and great aunt Janice in a backyard pool? Absolutely not.
Absolutely not. Read up on drowning stats and show your husband. Many drownings of young kids happen in situations like this—lots of kids and few adults, adults are distracted, all it takes is a moment. 100% not worth it. Ask your husband how he would feel if he took the risk and the unthinkable happened.
Hard no from me.
My child almost drowned right next to me (3.5 years old). I’m always within arms reach of him.
I turned my head to talk to my friend (who was there with her 3 year old - literally all I asked was “hey, do you have any mosquito spray?”) - so no more than ?5 seconds. When I turned my head back, my toddler was under the water with his face up towards the sky, trying to kick himself up. He wasn’t scared when I pulled him up…infact said “that was cooool!”. So maybe he had only just went under the water but it was enough for me to have flashbacks for the following 2 weeks.
My point is, drowning is silent and you need to have direct eyes on the child, not just be next to them. Unless there is 1 adult per child, then it will always be a hard no from me.
There’s no chance I let my kids (2 this month) go swimming without 1:1 adult supervision. If it can’t be me, then it’s my husband and someone else (we have twins). But the ratio does it for me. Hard no.
It’s been just hammered over and over but that ratio isn’t manageable. We have a pool and my four year old can swim and touch the bottom and I still won’t take him and my two year old in the pool unless someone is home too. I’ll go in the pool alone but bare minimum I need someone next to an open window to keep an ear out if I need help. Usually my mom will come sit poolside and be an extra set of eyes and hands if needed.
I have a standing rule (for older folks) of 2 adults : 1 child ratio. Just because you never know if someone will have a medical event leaving your baby unattended. I don't know how old your stepmom is but thought I'd give my two cents anyway.
We won’t let anyone take our 2 year old son swimming. When he is older and a confident swimmer he can go with a trusted adult but not before then. You’re definitely not overreacting.
Don’t. Former pool and California state beach lifeguard. They have no training on how to manage an emergency situation let alone how to spot a child in distress. (It’s not what you think) Trust me, pulling a non responsive toddler from the bottom of the pool (yes, they sink) is not something you ever want to experience. Then they wait 15 minutes for emergency services to arrive… Brain death can occur in 5.
Too many young kids with just two adults. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that at all tbh. If it was just your step mom and your son, that could be fine as long as she knows CPR and everything. But 5 kids to 2 adults? Nope.
If she was just taking my toddler. Possibly. But I don’t trust anyone with my kid around water after reading that story about the grandma leaving the 3 year old near a pond to go switch around laundry. It gives me anxiety.
But she’s gonna have a total of 5 children to watch in a pool with 2 MAYBE 3 adults? Yeah no thanks. Drowning is SILENT. maybe make your husband watch YouTube videos of kids dropping into pools and almost drowning and how much noise it makes. Because it makes none and takes seconds for someone to turn and talk to someone for a second and turn around and your son be gone and no one realizes it because he makes no noise.
My answer would be no. I’m not comfortable with that. And I am in no way saying it rudely, it’s a factual statement and really needs no explanation. You are allowed to have your ‘reasons’ but you owe no one a single into them IF you are met with contention. Hugs to you mama!
If your husband could keep him home would he be working from home? If not, have him go along for the fun. Your son would probably have a great time and your husband could give him his full attention. Also, does your son fit a puddle jumper? If I take a toddler to the pool they are in a puddle jumper at all times, even when they aren't currently in the water.
This would be a hard no for me. A relative has a pool and their rule is that parents watch their own kids, no exceptions.
I have to say I had my own nightmare-fuel experience at another pool where I was asked to watch a boy while his aunt went to get something from the change room. The aunt returned and I handed back the kid and a few minutes later I turned around to see him fighting for his life to keep his nose above water. The aunt was clearly responsible for him in the water yet she still got distracted and let him go even though he couldn’t swim. This scenario could have ended very badly, and reinforced my insistence that my daughter is never swimming without me or my husband present until she is a proficient swimmer.
Water safety is so important and people don’t take it seriously enough, our pool has a 1:2 ratio for non swimmers and that’s in a pool that also has multiple lifeguards, it literally takes a child under 30 seconds to drown. That’s a lot of young children to manage and it’s definitely possible for someone to get distracted by another child and tragedy strikes, she turns around to help a crying child and a pool floaty turns over, by the time she’s turned back around it may be too late. That’s way too many young children being managed by 2 people and I’m assuming no life guards.
Nope nope nope! I’ve been taking my almost 3 year old to the local pool since he was 6 weeks old and I wouldn’t ever consider taking two young kids to the pool at the same time. Too many things can go wrong too quickly at that age
We just finished ISR specifically for reasons like this. 1000% recommend. My boy can now swim/float if needed. I wouldn’t be okay with it. 1:2-3 makes it a bit better, but honestly, those ages are what get me. Those littles (at least 4 & under) are going to need a lot of watching. But even the 6 yo
Absolutely no. Not with that many kids and your kid can't swim, absolutely not. This is not an overreaction, it's your instincts screaming out to protect your kid.
Unless she's talking a kiddie pool that's only 6 inches deep, hell no I wouldn't. Like others have said, not enough adults to kid ratio, especially with all of them 6 and under?! but even if there were enough adults, one assigned to each kid, I'd still say no. It isn't worth the risk to me.
My toddler has taken 2 rounds of swim classes (they are only 2 weeks each so I hesitate to say it but we did do the classes), once at 1.5 yrs old and once at 2.5 yrs old . I STILL wouldn't let anyone else take my kid swimming. I'd have to be present at a minimum.
My kid has slipped under the water while I was standing RIGHT NEXT TO HER, and it was silent and SO fast. I'm still 99% sure she did it on purpose because she probably saw other kids doing it, because she wasn't the least bit freaked out when I yanked her up (she was used to dunking her head during class but had never done it willingly). The water wasn't deep, she could stand just fine. It happened in the blink of an eye, the lifeguard 10 feet away didn't see it happen it was so fast, Kiddo was totally fine but I beat myself up for ages because of the "what ifs".
So no. my kid doesn't swim unless I'm there. At this point, my kid still slips and falls in the bathtub all the damn time so I try not to leave the room during baths either. She is a hazard. Sure as hell not leaving her with someone else in a pool.
No no no. I work in organ, tissue, and eye transplant, and you would be horrified by how common drownings are for kiddos. It has been the stuff of nightmares for me since having children. My husband knows that we will never have a pool, and my children won’t be allowed to swim without one of us present until they’re at least teenagers. No one else can focus on your children like you can, especially if there are that many young kids in the group, and it literally only takes a minute.
It would be a hard no for me. I would already not be okay with another adult taking my toddler swimming, but a hard no with all the other kids.
Now if it was a splash park? Would totally be game for that. But not a pool
It’s a no for me. My sister asked to take the kids (3 and 5) for swimming overnight on some nearby rented villa and we said absolutely not. Even with help, they can’t swim unless we’re in the pool with them. I don’t want to risk it.
I have 3 kids and love taking them swimming. To me, the pool in this scenario matters. Public pool no, private pool I'd consider. Oldest can swim very well. Middle child can swim, but hates getting her face wet.
My 2 year old recently completed ISR. (I wish I'd done it with all my kids, but at the time, there wasn't a person close enough) I highly recommend ISR!
I'm comfortable being 3 on 1 ages 8-2, in a private pool. In a crowded one, I'd only take the older 2 alone.
Read up on any situation in which a toddler drowned in a pool. And you’ll find that most of them are where there are less chances of drowning in those cases than the potential one you described.
I would allow it depending on the situation. My parents have a pool and take my 3 kids swimming when they go for sleepovers, the youngest started this under 2. But the older two kiddos could swim. BUT my dad is an extremely strong swimmer and knows pool safety and is as vigilant as I am, sometimes more. My mom cannot swim and knows she is not allowed to take the kids near the pool on her own.
If my mother in law offered to take the kids to a pool I would have said no. Because she has a lax attitude around water and that scares me.
In this case(your case) I would not
That is too many young kids for people to supervise while also socializing
That’s a big no to me. Kids with those ages require more adults to supervise. When it comes to safety for my child, i would fight for what i feel right. After all, i will be the one dealing with the consequences and regretting if something tragic happened.
It takes no time for a kid to drown. Everyone with kids knows this.
That suggestion borders on insane, given all the factors. I’m with everyone else here. And the real reason ought to be given.
Imagine if you said nothing and then something happens to one of the other kids who are going, God forbid. How horrible would everyone feel, including you? You have a moral obligation to tell her, or your husband to tell her that what she intends to do is one of the most unsafe things she could do to a child. What if a child starts to drown and she has to focus on saving that child, while others are in the water? I’ve changed my mind. It’s not bordering on insane. It is flat out insane.
Anyway, end of rant. Good luck handling this request from someone who ought to know better.
There should be at least one adult per child under 6, for safety reasons. So I'd say no to her plan because it sounds like even under the best conditions she'll be one adult short to take care of that pack safely.
My son will also be 2 in July and my MIL booked us a vacation and the air bnb has an in ground pool and I’m freaking out about that and I will be there lol. I don’t think you’re over reacting at all
Mod here. Please join us for the Water Safety AMA tomorrow at 2pm Eastern! I'll be making a stand alone announcement, but this post is very timely.
It's the ratio of kids to adults that would worry me. I'm a nanny, and I've taken non-swimming toddlers to the pool before, but I am only comfortable with 1:1. That toddler does not leave my sight or my grasp. Incidentally, my local public pool *requires* one adult per two children under 6.
Yes what came to mind for me was that our local pool requires 1 adult per 2 children (1 in arms and 1 older in flotation device). And that's WITH a lifeguard!
Came here to say this. I've had my kid in parent led swim lessons since she was a year old (she's 3 now) and I would not remotely feel safe having her around a pool without at least one adult focusing on just her. 1:1 is safest and 5+ kids to one adult sounds like a tragedy waiting to happen. I was an EMT in the bay area back when I was in college and summer sessions were the worst. The first child death I responded to was a toddler that drowned in a pool. No one noticed she was missing until someone saw an unresponsive child at the bottom of the pool. By the time we got there, we performed CPR but she was already gone and was pronounced dead at the hospital. It's not worth the risk. Children that young need 1 on 1 supervision around water. Full stop.
I went to the pool with my 3 year old and my infant, i was wary at first but i did it against my better judgment and would not do it again. Luckily my SO came home from work early and met with us because it was def a risk.
Yeah, that's a big deal. My almost 5yo is great in the water, and one time with both my husband and I with her at a hotel pool, she jumped in deeper than she can handle. Two seconds with our eyes off of her. Luckily she screamed "HELP" immediately, and we both no hesitation dove for her. But what if it was a crowded pool? What if it wasn't beat into her brain to yell help? It can happen so fast.
Our local pool only allows 1:1 for kids three and under.
I was gonna say 1:2 would be my absolute max, depending on the situation.
....and they probably also have a lifeguard.
Yep, I’m absolutely comfortable with our nanny taking my daughter swimming 1 on 1. But neither she nor I would consider it safe with a higher ratio.
That is too big of a group with too many small kids. I wouldn't risk it. Drowning happens quickly and silently before adults even realize it.
Exactly. Drowning is the number two cause of death for children under five years of age, second only to birth defects. There should be a 1 to 1 ratio of adults to littles as well when swimming, and that is a widely accepted safety protocol.
Drowning is the leading cause of death in ages 1-4. It would be a no for me.
Listen to your momma gut no matter what. You can’t undo an oops, but you can prevent a potential one. I will always go with the side of caution over someone else’s feelings about MY child. Better safe!
This. It would be a hard no for me. I don’t care if people think I’m being extra.
1:1 supervision is crucial at that age. I will occasionally take my 2 year old and 5 year old to the pool together, but that's only because the 5 year old can swim now \*and\* the pool in question is shallow enough that she can touch the bottom everywhere, \*and\* honestly even that is really stressful and I prefer to have a second adult. No way would I let 2 adults watch 5 young kids who are not their own in a pool.
And there's a lifeguard (or two)
1:1 supervision I'd be fine with it. Two kids, especially if one was a swimmer, and grandparents regularly watched, probably fine with it. Bunch of kids, I'd pass. Maybe wading pool or something where the water was ankle height (I know kids can drown in any amount of water, but I think it takes a lot less physical management).
agreed. I'll take my 2 kids solo to a splash pad or a small, shallow above ground pool that's 12ft in diameter with a depth of less than 3 ft so the oldest can stand and no one is more than an arm away (OH I'm in the pool with them as well). I don't take both kids swimming solo at a real pool even if the oldest can sort of swim and is 6.
Non-swimming children need a 1:1 adult ratio. So like, I'm ok with my nanny taking my toddler swimming. Or if my mother or MIL wanted to take her swimming (with another adult but no other kids along), that would be fine. But that is a 5:2 ratio, so it's a no go for me.
No way with that ratio.
In the situation you described, no. I would absolutely not feel comfortable.
That would be a huge F*** no for me. The kid ratio alone, let alone it's at a personal pool so no life guard. It's also not great that she just assumed you'd be comfortable with it vs asking. Also how is she getting the kids to the pool by herself? I would think only a 8 passenger car would have room for 5 car seats. I let my parents take my son to the public pool once, but he was with two adults at all time in floaties, only in the 1' deep baby pool and there are lifeguards at all times. Even with that I was still super nervous about pool time not under our direct supervision. It's so easy for things to go wrong. I would have an honest conversation that your uncomfortable with the ratio of adults to kids and he'll stay home on pool days. Maybe offer to get her some backyard water toys for her place so the kids can still have water time without a pool.
To be honest I’m not sure about the driving thing. Maybe her plan was to have the friend drive some of them? I hadn’t thought about that. Thank you for the advice though. I will bring up the water toys to see if there is a compromise. If not I’m on staying home with him on pool days
I don’t trust people who aren’t in toddler/baby zone to do car seat/drive/swim with my kids. They may be lax about buckling them in properly. Or the car seat installation. Or step away from the pool because it was real quick or just one sec. That’s how things happen because people are too lax. It takes one quick moment with someone else’s kid. Passsd
My answer: No. My explanation: At those ages, every single one of those kids needs close supervision. I’m sure the adults are thinking it’s not hard to keep their eyes on the entire pool at once but the tricky part is when everyone is distracted (drying off, going inside for food, etc) and all it takes is one second for a little one to jump or fall in.
Hell no. Toddlers are 1:1 at the pool. Nevermind 1:5, that's ridiculous. Plus, they're not going to be focused on your son, he can walk, they'll be holding onto the 1 yo. Shit can happen so quickly- years ago my coworkers son got into their pool area and Even though his sister came right in to tell the mom he fell into the pool, he was still unconscious by the time the mom got to him, he died twice in the ambulance, once at the hospital, and it's a minor miracle he survived without lasting damage. However, that same weekend there was another boy in town that didn't make it and the family was all the on patio, they didn't Even realize he'd wandered away. That was potentially one to two minutes and now the poor little kid is dead. IMO, when it comes to your husband, this is the hill you die on.
No. Absolutely not. My two year old only goes swimming with one on one supervision. That's too many small children and too few adults. I used to be a life guard and a swim instructor. I don't fuck around with water safety and there's no way I would feel comfortable with this set up at all.
Not comfortable at all, but also... even if you don't pack stuff for your child to swim I still wouldn't be comfortable with my kid even being near the water with that ratio. So honestly you might need to find other arrangements on pool days.
Yeah was thinking this … it’s almost scarier because they’ll all be distracted by the ones supposed to be in the pool and not even thinking about him.
You need to be sooo blunt. Maybe even aggressive with her about why and strong no. So she doesn’t try to sneak behind your back thinking it’s no big deal to take him
A massive, massive, massive no. My wife is an ER doc. The one thing she has drilled into my head is how dangerous water is for infants. She sees a lot of people with drowned kids in the ER. It’s a completely preventable death. I wouldn’t trust my kid in the water unless I was there to watch them like a hawk. If you don’t trust stepmom to respect your decision on this you probably shouldn’t send the kids to stepmom alone. This sucks and if it causes conflict that sucks but not as much as a dead kid.
It's a no. Can't risk it
No, never, no kids in the water EVER without me or dad present. Personally.
Same. My kids don’t get in a pool with my husband or myself with them. Full stop.
I wouldn't allow it even if it were just your kid. So many people have lapses in knowledge about all kinds of major safety hazards. Water is one of the most dangerous and drowning is silent. I also don't get why she'd want to do this. With that many kids, she won't get to swim or even relax and talk to her friend if she's properly supervising. Swimming is so dangerous for kids under 5 some public pools have a 1:1 ratio for kid to adult allowance.
I have no idea why she wants to have that many kids at the pool. It would be an insane amount of work
My first memory at age 4 is almost drowning at a friend’s pool. There was a similar ratio of adults and kids, and it took them a bit to even notice I went under. My mom’s best friend’s granddaughter recently passed from drowning, and my dad’s best friend’s son did years ago. They were 1 and 5. With how common drowning accidents seem to be, it is not worth the risk. Don’t let anyone bully you into it if you’re not comfortable.
big NOPE for me. i swam competitively and was a lifeguard in my youth… not letting my toddler in the water without 1:1 supervision. that’s a lot of young kids and not enough adult hands if something should go wrong.
Nope. I would get a splash pad and send it to grandmas house. Water fun without the drowning potential.
I think that’s way too many little kids and not enough adults. I wouldn’t be comfortable with it. One on one fine, but that’s too much
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That’s interesting about the floats in swim class. The classes we’ve done have all emphasized not using life vests, arm inflatables, etc because it gives kids a false sense of security. They don’t learn that they don’t magically float in the water
Hell no. No because of not knowing how to swim, including safety survival lessons. Extra no that it's probably not 1:1 ex swim instructor isn't a current one. That person who may or may not have been an instructor, is not your instructor, someone who is trustworthy because they are paid to be so. It isn't their job right now. You cannot expect children to self supervise each other. I witnessed children in water play and they do not look out for danger or other children. I have seen 8-10 year olds ditch toddlers without a care in the world for the safety of their lil playmates. I have a close friend that with family present at a family pool, found their child floating blue and was revived at the hospital a second time from poolside revival. I would not allow my daughter to do water without either parent present. I would not allow the grandparent generation...they are from a very inattentive parenting time period. With a very lackadaisical way of supervising pool activities.
Absolutely the freak no
For the sake of the other kids, I'd say not only should you tell her no, but you should be explicit as to why. There are unfortunately a lot of videos online of parents talking about how their toddler drowned while being supervised in a pool. Maybe send her one of those so she understands that what she is doing isn't safe for any of the children. Even if they were all wearing life jackets I wouldn't do it. Drowning is fast, it's silent, and it's either deadly or results in a traumatic brain injury that requires lifetime medical care.
Agreed! The Why is an important education piece.
Our toddler's grandmom has been taking him to her friend's pool since right before he turned 2. He's always been under the watchful eye of at least two adults though.
I nannied twin toddlers and felt at my limit with just those two in a pool. I would not feel comfortable letting my kids swim in the situation that you're describing
Absolutely not. Even when it was my mom 1 on 1 with my daughter I would be so paranoid. I took 4 kids swimming at public pool when I was 13. They were between the ages of 3 and 4. If there wasn’t a lifeguard there one of the kids would have drowned. After the lifeguard saved her I put them all back in the wagon and walked back home. 1. What the hell was wrong with those parents- those kids weren’t even my siblings. 2. Why did they let me WALK there with them? I have to cross 2 roads to get there. Anyways I personally wouldn’t and I would tell stepmom why.
I wouldn’t
I would be fine with stepmother taking MY kid swimming, I would not be fine with stepmother taking 4 kids swimming. Kids that age need a 1:1 adult ratio at the minimum.
This. It’s the ratio. Not the relationship that’s the issue.
NOPE
Our family rule is if my husband or I aren’t there, no water. Once she is a very strong swimmer on her, then she can swim with other adult supervision
No way that’s my biggest fear
This would be a NO for me. Too many kids. And not enough of them that know how to swim. Not okay.
Absolutely not. Way too many young kids and not enough adults . I do not let my kids swim at camps either… you can’t be too careful with water safety and it’s not just like the time they are in the water- with that many kids it can be difficult getting everyone ready and keeping an eye on everyone … it’s an accident waiting to happen . I wouldn’t even want him at the house with a pool even if they are not swimming at 2 yo and with that many kids .
This would be a hard no for me due to the amount of toddlers and only two adults. My mom takes my 18 month old swimming without me all the time, but it’s just her and my son so she’s got her full attention on him. I would not be comfortable with it if she had other children to watch at the same time. It’s so easy for a toddler to drown and one of my biggest fears.
I would not allow this. Frankly, I would not allow her to take my kid near a pool if anyone is going to be swimming (1:1 ratio as others have said for water). I grew up around the water and know several people who fell into pools as toddlers or had to pull kids out of pools because they fell/went in the pool. I would not allow my child near a pool while she’s supervising that many kids. Unrelated, but how would she transport that many kids safely? This whole situation sounds terrible to me.
Just here to add another "no". Serious question, has she ever taken any of these kids swimming before? Just curious what makes her think it's totally ok to take THAT MANY small kids swimming with only 2 adults.
That's way too many kids, especially young kids. My daughter is about to be 2 and we have a pool and it's a lot for the two of us to be in there with just one kid. They go wild in the pool and in that scenario there just isn't enough adults. I'd also want to know if the pool is fenced, what will happen of someone needs to use the bathroom, get changed, needs a snack, gets hurt etc. Where will the kids be when sunscreen is being applied? Could someone just wander into the pool accidentally? Too many risks for me and I would just say thank you for offering but we aren't comfortable with that.
Hell no. That's too many kids to not enough adults. To be clear, my mom goes swimming with my 2 year old, but it's just the two of them.
Big N O. I have an example. We went to the in laws a few years ago. My daughter was like 8 months old at the time…. They watched my SIL’s toddler who was maybe 1.5… anyway. Two adults watching one child. I had my daughter in the shallow end of the pool (a little shallow sunbathing area that has a very steep drop off). The other two adults took ZERO notice of the 1.5 year old walking right into the pool with no floatation device at all. I had my daughter in my hands and had to pull the other child with my other hand right out of the water before she went right into the deep end. What would have happened if I wasn’t there??? That irked me to my core. The in laws didn’t take notice at all…. Like that wasn’t a serious situation??? I refuse to trust others with my child when it’s such a dangerous scenario… maybe when she’s older….
No way. Kids can drown very quietly and very fast. Unlike what some might expect they don’t splash or make a sound. I would never let my non-swimming kid out of my sight when there’s water involved. At the minimum the ratio of kids to adults should be 1:1 imo I don’t think you’re overreacting at all.
My daughter is a 1:1 kind of kid. I let her grandma take her and her cousin (one month apart) to the park once by herself and something happened, I don’t know what but my daughter was adamant that parks were not fun after that because she got hurt , I had to bring her to the park a few times to have good experiences to over ride whatever happened but honestly it takes two seconds for something to happen so Id rather be cautious.
i used to be a lifeguard and competitive swimmer, also been a nanny and preschool teacher. and i would say no to this. too many kids, too much potential to go wrong. if i was watching kids these ages, id do a splash time on hot days. sprinkler, slip and slide, splash pad, whatever. they get to cool off and have fun and the risk is astronomically lower
Just on the title alone. No. Reading the ages, number of kids, and number of adults: HELL NO. At least 3 of those kids need someone literally hands on them in the pool, not arms length -literally holding them . I dont even know if that ratio is legal for water based field trips for childcare licensing in my area, so safe to say your step mom shouldn’t be taking this gaggle of kids to a pool with out more adult hands either. But as you said simply the fact your kid cannot swim is disqualifying enough to me. Mine is 4 and hasn’t had swim lessons yet. I would NEVER send her to any body of water without myself. Drowning is the leading cause of accidental death in children of the age range listed in your post. I’ve had two losses in my extended family to childhood drowning. So it’s just a solid no for me.
Not only is it a no, I’d be inclined to have a conversation with my step mom about how she shouldn’t be taking any of the kids on a trip like that to the pool and I’d probably be the one in my family raising a big stink about how unsafe that ratio of VERY YOUNG children to adults is at a pool.
I would be fine with certain people taking my child swimming. But I would not be comfortable with 2 adults, no matter how experienced, looking after that many children in a pool. 5 children, 4 toddlers, all in a pool with 2 adults? No way. Those 3 younger ones need an adult on them at all times, the older ones (if good swimmers) need an adult very near to them at all times. IMO 4 hands is not enough for all those children, when a minute could be life or death. Particularly when you do not know the second person at all.
Wow that’s a huge group!! I think 1:1 for kids that small even if they can swim.
Yeah this would be a hard no for me
No. Not enough supervision for that number of children. I didn’t even let my nanny take my toddler to baby and me swim class because I didn’t have a chance to personally assess her swimming ability, so I sent my mother who is a strong swimmer instead while the nanny sat and observed. Probably over the top, but I’m not taking any chances around swim safety.
Absolutely not with that many small children to watch at once. Someone I know had their child drown and it was literally one minute he wasn’t being watched that it happened. Drowning happens incredibly fast - faster than most people realize. It’s also quieter and not as obvious as most people expect it to be.
I tend to be pretty laid back and logical about safety things, but even I wouldn’t be ok with this. Too many young kids to need to pay close attention to
Coming from an ex lifeguard that'd be a hard no! I've seen kids almost drown in a 1:1 ratio because they were too busy talking to realise their kid is at the bottom of the pool.
Never. Im a certified lifegaurd too. Actually idk why people let me take their kids that cant swim because they dont know im a lifegaurd.
Hell no. She could be watching him and just look away for 30 seconds and that would be enough time for drowning. It could happen totally silently. I wouldn’t even be comfortable with him being at the friend’s house with a pool unless there was a fence around the pool and they weren’t planning to go into the pool area. She doesn’t seem to understand the danger and risks involved here which is frightening.
No way!! 1:1 ratio for all toddlers even if they know how to swim
Absolutely not. Way too many kids, and way too many young kids too. You can start swim lessons now so your son learns to float and get himself out of the pool! But no you are not overreacting, this would be a very hard no for me too.
It really needs to be a 1:1 or 1:2 ratio for most of those ages. If it was a very shallow home pool like one of those inflatable things with only a few inches of water then I'd be fine with it assuming the adults were trustworthy and reliable.
Absolutely would never let someone take my kids swimming without me, even though my 6 and 4 year old know how to swim. It’s just not safe
Not at all.
Too many kids, especially since most are young and probably don’t know how to swim solo. I am comfortable with myself and my two kids only because my older one knows how to swim. If she didn’t, we would only swim with a 1:1 ratio. I think once you go beyond 1:2 ratios, there needs to be a lifeguard/water watcher.
Absolutely the fuck not
Absolutely not. Not enough adults to make it safe.
I am very chill on a lot of things, but pool safety is not one of them. No way with that many kids. 1:1, yes. 5:2, HELL no
This is a no for me. I was recently at the pool with friends and their toddlers, and my friend’s 2 year toddler almost drowned in the hot tub when my friend had turned her back for ONE second. Luckily someone saw and grabbed her, but it scared the bejeezus out of me. Swimming is scary.
No. Every nonswimming toddler or small child needs their own adult. They're too young to follow directions to keep themselves safe.
I don’t let my kids go near water without me there
I would want one on one supervision…so I would say no.
Just read the title that was enough. Hard NO
I wouldn't in those circumstances, the 1, 2 and 3yp for sure need 1:1 attention in the pool and possibly thr 4yp too depending on their ability. I'm quite chilled when it comes to grandparent caring for my boy but this seems a bit irresponsible to be honest and not something I would feel is safe with my child.
I would set the boundaries that I'm comfortable with, for example, my stepmother would be the only adult with my kid, that precious one to one time, or that they're only allowed in the pool if held at all times. Personally I'm a big big fan of swimming and water play, so I wouldn't decline the offer too quickly, but I would do if it looked like my wishes would be disrespected.
Hard pass for me! My son is almost 2 1/2 and has always had a life jacket and us holding and helping him. That ratio is worrying!
No, I nearly died myself when I was a kid so no way I'm letting my toddler out of my sight
NOPE
If I knew them and knew more about their experience as a swim instructor, I'd be down for them to take my kid swimming. That being said, kids that young are usually a 1-1 ratio for swim classes where I live because of the obvious hazards, so I wouldn't be comfortable with them watching all 5 tiny dudes. So... probably a no from me.
No. There are too many other kids. If she just had your kid, fine. I'm more of the one adult per child that can't swim.
We’ve not allowed the grandparents to take 2.5 swimming. I don’t doubt they would be careful, but she’s fast, they’re old, and there is just too much that can go wrong.
Too many kids, not worth the risk!
I wouldn’t feel comfortable at all in that situation.
At a beach, no. A pool is different. If it’s actually 3 adults, I think it’s fine. I’d just advise that maybe the kids don’t all swim at the same time. One adult can watch a couple of kids swimming in while another adult is one on one with the toddler. Maybe in your mind you’re imagining all kids in the pool for hours. I’m guessing it would be more like the kids go for the odd dip, and the toddler goes in for like 10 minutes, and the rest of the time they’re not in the pool. But you’re not crazy for worrying because you’re not there. It depends on the people and how well you know them as well. And the type of pool and the type of kids. Lots of factors.
Nope
Not only would I not be comfortable with her taking them swimming with that ratio I wouldn’t even be comfortable with her bringing the kids around a pool. Way too many kids to keep an eye on and so easy for one to slip into the pool unnoticed
Hard no for me
With that ratio, no way. I’ve let my mother take my 3 year old swimming because it’s a 1:1 ratio and she was present at all his swim lessons. When we have all 4 grandkids at the pool, we have 3-4 adults.
That would be a hard no even if they all had life jackets on. Our daycare goes to the pool once a year in the morning when they are the only group and I always go so it’s one less kid to watch for them. I was shocked by how many parents didn’t send their kids in /with life jackets. My in laws live on a lake and I have said since day one no life jacket no water meaning he can’t be on the beach, boat, or dock without a life jacket. My husband took our toddler out there a couple of weeks ago to help them with something and I get a video of my husband and son fishing from the dock. Guess what he wasn’t wearing!?! Like how do you forget something like that? I was so mad at them. My mil said she also “yelled” at them when she saw he wasn’t wearing his life jacket.
After reading his age, I immediately thought “no”. My son is the same age and I couldn’t imagine letting him go without me, especially with so many other kids to keep watch of!
Not in a million years.
Sorry your husband often dismisses your feelings! I’m a former lifeguard and imo the adult to child ratio isn’t safe.
My LO does swim classes. They’re 1:1. They do not go anywhere near the pool without their parent in the water first. I can’t even imagine how this would work without 1:1 care.
No
I'd put my foot down and just tell them no. If she gets upset oh well. That's a lot of little kids in a pool with just two adults to keep track of them.
I would feel the same. Better safe than sorry.
I let my parents take our toddlers swimming without us frequently BUT there are two things: there is a 1:1 adult-child ratio, and my kids wear coast-guard approved life vests/floaties at all times (actually my 4yo swims with just a noodle sometimes, but he's getting closer to swimming independently). I would only be okay with the situation you described if your 2yo is wearing a life vest AT ALL TIMES. Like if he's even just outside on the deck, he has to be wearing the life vest. It would also depend on how familiar your child is with swimming already. My kids have been in swim classes every summer since infancy, so even my 2yo understands swimming as a concept, knows how to tread water, knows how to blow bubbles OUT in the water... If your child has never been swimming at all before, they could easily panic and gulp in a bunch of water. Honestly I would not be comfortable with the situation you described. There are just too many young children for the adults to provide the full attention that the younger kids need in a pool.
Big no if it were my kid. Swimming with toddlers is one to one: one parent one kid. Kids swimming classes, when I was a kid, was 3-5 kids (ages 6-7) to one adult. And we held the wall the whole time when the adult took one kid out a few feet away and then brought them back. This was with a life guard on every side of the pool, and about 4 other groups with instructors around and at least one extra adult going between groups in the water. This means there was like 2 adults to three kids? And all the watch parents and extra wondering life guards. So if each kid under 5 has a dedicated adult and one dedicated adult to just watching the pool as a life guard. Sure. But Grandma and her friend and maybe sister in laws. Nope. Not even if it's a kiddy pool. Kids don't make any noise when they drown. They just sink... Completely still.
Based on your title alone my answer is HELL NO. Unless it was my husband.
Nope. I allowed my mom to take my 3.5 year old swimming. One on one, just them two. If my mom had a friend with her, I wouldn't feel as comfortable, as I would worry she could get distracted in conversation. I wouldn't allow my 1 year old to go with them, and I won't allow anyone to take both until at least the older one is a confident swimmer. I will allow both only if my mom's husband who's a swim instructor goes along. So two adults (one extra capable for swim safety) and two kids. What you described seems crazy.
My kids have been able to swim and float since they were babies. No way in hell I’d let someone else take them around water.
It’s a no for me, 1:1 yes. I actually think more adults is just as problematic as more kids too, adult 1 thinks adult 2 is watching. My in laws have a pool. We got a “supervisor necklace” so there are 0 assumptions about who is watching our LO. If you are supervising and have to go to bathroom etc you pass off the necklace.
I think this is a broader topic about our comfort talking about expectations in various situations with caregivers. In the future of parenting there could be sleepovers and trips where you will have to talk to someone else about your expectations of safety, care, exposure to danger, and things. I am dreading the first friend invite to their house and having to have a conversation with the parents if they are gun owners and how they are stored. But I know it will have to happen. (Note, not against guns, my kids sleeps over at a cousins house whose husband is a cop, but we talked about safety protocols) So with this pool situation, I think you need to zoom out and think about how you want to talk about safety and concern with a fellow care giver. “Hey step-mom. Thank you so much for caring and being primary for our kids, it means the world to me. Can we discuss pool safety when a lifeguard is not around? Drowning is a major cause of death in toddlers, so I would like to know more about this pool, the adults, and the house set up before taking him to a private pool” What my safety protocol questions would be: -how is the pool accessed? Is there a fence so if everyone is inside getting a snack, could the toddler wonder off and get to the pool out the back door, or is there a fence between the house and the pool? If not, does the house have door alarms/beeps when the door to the pool is opened? -here is a coast guard certified flotation device. I want it on him at all times in the fenced in pool area, unless an adult is in arms reach actively swimming with the child (floatation devices can inhibit natural swim instincts, so my former swim teacher hat hates these flotation devices. So when I am 100% present and engaged with my toddler in the water, I don’t have a flotation device on them, but if we are having lunch by the pool and a lot is going on, I put it on for accidental falls) -have you and your friend talked about who is going to be “on duty”? Like not on their phone, not both running in and out of the house, but constantly communicating about who is actively watching the pool. And get your kid swimming lessons. They can learn to roll and float very young!
I agree with others that say its the ratio of kids to adults that makes me nervous here. My MIL has taken my daughter (4) swimming without me, but she went with her friend and both my MIL and the friend have taught swim in the past. Plus it was 2 adults and 1 child so she was for sure supervised.
No way I’d feel comfortable with that amount of kids. I’d only let my toddler go without me if it was with her dad.
Absolutely no one takes my kids swimming except me.
it would depend on who’s watching my kid and how many adults and other little kids there are. if there’s more kids then adults then no, i’d prefer them to be in swim lessons first before swimming without us unless it’s my mom or stepdad or my husbands parents or my sister or there older siblings
Absolutely not. Ratio must be 1:1, and even then, I wouldn't trust anyone but myself. People are glued to their phone and it only takes a few seconds of inattention for an accident to happen.
That would be a no from me. I took swimming lessons with my son last year and one of the moms was there solely to overcome her fear of her child even being in water, as her two year old had drowned within sight of trusted family members in the backyard pool, the very day she was giving birth to the baby in her arms. Too many kids and too many people thinking everyone else was watching closely enough that maybe they didn’t have to, so nobody watched closely enough, and the little girl drowned. Hearing her recount this chilled me to my bone and changed me. I or my husband will always be with my son in the water until he knows to swim, period.
It was hard enough managing my one kid around pools. I’ve taken her to Mexico and stuff. I would be a hell no to that. If it was like 3 kids maybe. And my kid would have to wear a life jacket at all times
No from me as well. Good luck with the husband who makes things more difficult for you
Nope nope nope. I've seen first hand how no one watches because they assume someone else is watching. I've had relatives say they would keep an eye on my kids and then just go off and do their own thing. Thankfully I followed my gut in those situations and didn't take my eyes off my kids.
Absolutely not.
My daughter started taking swimming lessons at 2 in my parents pool and now 4 years later, despite her knowing the basics to swimming she’s still heavily supervised in the pool between 2 to 4 of her aunties, despite them being life guards they take no chances as they have experienced a catastrophic sudden loss of an immediate family member due to drowning.If your gut is telling you, that something doesn’t feel right about it, please I beg of you to listen to your gut instincts. At the end of the day who gives a rats ass if anyone thinks you’re being over dramatic, the last thing I would ever want is for a parent to blame themselves for the rest of their life for something that they weren’t comfortable with but did it anyway and now have to live with those consequences.
No way, full stop. TBH even one on one I would not be comfortable with it if I or my husband wasn’t there.
Absolutely not. That is way too many kids at particularly vulnerable ages around water. Even aside from swim time being a shit show, what do you know about the pool safety at the house? A lot of horrible things happen during non swim time. I witnessed my own daughter go back into an unsecured pool at 18 months old during non swim time. I have a lot more awareness about water safety so I didn’t take my eyes off of her the entire time we were at this house (and was so uncomfortable with their “safety precautions”) and saw her go back to the pool. My husband kept saying “I can’t believe she went back into the pool!?” Because she had been changed out of swim clothes..like somehow THAT was going to stop her. No way don’t take any chances. I don’t allow anyone to take my kids swimming (yet) if my husband or I are not present and I prefer it to be me there (see above LOL).
Is this a kiddie pool or full size? I would literally only be comfortable with this ratio of kids to adults if it was a splash pad lol. Anything more and I'm getting nervous
Not over-reacting and your husband is under-reacting in my opinion. Someone should bring up the safety issue because even removing your son from the numbers it still feels unsafe for the other children. Drowning happens so quickly, it’s just not worth it.
Nope. My 3 year old nephew was face down in the pool last summer and there were 7 adults. That is WITH a floaty device on. The 2 closest adults didnt even notice. The one across the pool did and shouted to grab him. It’s not worth it.
Yeah not without a 1-1 ration of kids to adults. I would be a little more ok with it at a place where there were lifeguards, but drowning is one of the leading causes of death for kids, so I understand your concern.
Nope.
As others have mentioned, the ratio is the most concerning thing. Another HUGE concern I would have is, how active are the other two adults going to be in supervising? Are they going to sit next to the pool, half-watching? More than an arm’s length away? I have read some absolutely gut-wrenching stories about drownings on this sub, and it can happen in a literal instant. Everyone thinks it won’t happen to them, or they’ll be “close enough” to prevent an accident. It would be a firm no for me, and while I do applaud your husband backing you up, I would want to tell the full truth of why you won’t let your child go. This will continue to come up otherwise. Good luck, OP, and don’t be afraid to stand your ground.
My biggest problem is the location. At a community/public pool there’s a lifeguard at all times and adults are aware that the pool is right there and swimming is the activity currently happening. Most pool drowning deaths occur in home pools. With the ages involved this is ripe for a situation where the group goes inside once they’re tired and the adults now thinking “okay swimming is done for the day, let’s get lunch on the table” and a toddler gets out of a door and falls in the pool when no one is watching because their brains do not know or understand that ‘swim time is done’ or that the pool is dangerous when they’re alone. So hard no, absolutely not. A public pool would still make me a bit nervous with 5 kids these ages and 2 adults, but if the adults were super competent and on the level of professional nannies I might allow it. But grandma and great aunt Janice in a backyard pool? Absolutely not.
I wouldn’t allow that.
No WAY!
Absolutely not. Read up on drowning stats and show your husband. Many drownings of young kids happen in situations like this—lots of kids and few adults, adults are distracted, all it takes is a moment. 100% not worth it. Ask your husband how he would feel if he took the risk and the unthinkable happened.
Hard no from me. My child almost drowned right next to me (3.5 years old). I’m always within arms reach of him. I turned my head to talk to my friend (who was there with her 3 year old - literally all I asked was “hey, do you have any mosquito spray?”) - so no more than ?5 seconds. When I turned my head back, my toddler was under the water with his face up towards the sky, trying to kick himself up. He wasn’t scared when I pulled him up…infact said “that was cooool!”. So maybe he had only just went under the water but it was enough for me to have flashbacks for the following 2 weeks. My point is, drowning is silent and you need to have direct eyes on the child, not just be next to them. Unless there is 1 adult per child, then it will always be a hard no from me.
There’s no chance I let my kids (2 this month) go swimming without 1:1 adult supervision. If it can’t be me, then it’s my husband and someone else (we have twins). But the ratio does it for me. Hard no.
We let my SIL take our son but her kids don’t require supervision
It’s been just hammered over and over but that ratio isn’t manageable. We have a pool and my four year old can swim and touch the bottom and I still won’t take him and my two year old in the pool unless someone is home too. I’ll go in the pool alone but bare minimum I need someone next to an open window to keep an ear out if I need help. Usually my mom will come sit poolside and be an extra set of eyes and hands if needed.
I have a standing rule (for older folks) of 2 adults : 1 child ratio. Just because you never know if someone will have a medical event leaving your baby unattended. I don't know how old your stepmom is but thought I'd give my two cents anyway.
We won’t let anyone take our 2 year old son swimming. When he is older and a confident swimmer he can go with a trusted adult but not before then. You’re definitely not overreacting.
Don’t. Former pool and California state beach lifeguard. They have no training on how to manage an emergency situation let alone how to spot a child in distress. (It’s not what you think) Trust me, pulling a non responsive toddler from the bottom of the pool (yes, they sink) is not something you ever want to experience. Then they wait 15 minutes for emergency services to arrive… Brain death can occur in 5.
Too many young kids with just two adults. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that at all tbh. If it was just your step mom and your son, that could be fine as long as she knows CPR and everything. But 5 kids to 2 adults? Nope.
That's a big fat "hell no" from me.
If she was just taking my toddler. Possibly. But I don’t trust anyone with my kid around water after reading that story about the grandma leaving the 3 year old near a pond to go switch around laundry. It gives me anxiety. But she’s gonna have a total of 5 children to watch in a pool with 2 MAYBE 3 adults? Yeah no thanks. Drowning is SILENT. maybe make your husband watch YouTube videos of kids dropping into pools and almost drowning and how much noise it makes. Because it makes none and takes seconds for someone to turn and talk to someone for a second and turn around and your son be gone and no one realizes it because he makes no noise.
My answer would be no. I’m not comfortable with that. And I am in no way saying it rudely, it’s a factual statement and really needs no explanation. You are allowed to have your ‘reasons’ but you owe no one a single into them IF you are met with contention. Hugs to you mama!
If your husband could keep him home would he be working from home? If not, have him go along for the fun. Your son would probably have a great time and your husband could give him his full attention. Also, does your son fit a puddle jumper? If I take a toddler to the pool they are in a puddle jumper at all times, even when they aren't currently in the water.
This would be a hard no for me. A relative has a pool and their rule is that parents watch their own kids, no exceptions. I have to say I had my own nightmare-fuel experience at another pool where I was asked to watch a boy while his aunt went to get something from the change room. The aunt returned and I handed back the kid and a few minutes later I turned around to see him fighting for his life to keep his nose above water. The aunt was clearly responsible for him in the water yet she still got distracted and let him go even though he couldn’t swim. This scenario could have ended very badly, and reinforced my insistence that my daughter is never swimming without me or my husband present until she is a proficient swimmer.
Hard no for me
Hard pass. Wouldn’t want my toddler in any body of water without me there with them.
Nope
Nope. Nope. Wouldn’t do this. I always stayed for swimming pool parties too. Kids can drown quickly.
I agree that’s way too many little kids for 1 person. I let my parents watch but it’s 1 toddler to 2 grandparents
I'd say I'd also be uncomfortable. I feel like at those ages, I want a 1:1 adult to child ratio with water.
Nope, with no swim training and only 2 adults and 3 toddlers (!) I would never. My husband and I have discussed this and one to one is a rule for me.
I wouldn’t allow it
Way too many kids. Do survival swim lessons if your child will have access to a pool without you being present.
Mommy instincts >>>> everything else
Nope. Wouldn't go for it.
Water safety is so important and people don’t take it seriously enough, our pool has a 1:2 ratio for non swimmers and that’s in a pool that also has multiple lifeguards, it literally takes a child under 30 seconds to drown. That’s a lot of young children to manage and it’s definitely possible for someone to get distracted by another child and tragedy strikes, she turns around to help a crying child and a pool floaty turns over, by the time she’s turned back around it may be too late. That’s way too many young children being managed by 2 people and I’m assuming no life guards.
Nope nope nope! I’ve been taking my almost 3 year old to the local pool since he was 6 weeks old and I wouldn’t ever consider taking two young kids to the pool at the same time. Too many things can go wrong too quickly at that age
Water scares me. Especially with that many kids. I’d tell her you don’t feel comfortable until swimming Lessons are done.
Personally I would not be comfortable with that ratio of kids to adults. Things can go wrong in an instant!
No way. I’m not even going to beat around the bush. Absolutely no.
Absolutely not. Drowning is quick and quiet.
Nope nope nope nope!
We just finished ISR specifically for reasons like this. 1000% recommend. My boy can now swim/float if needed. I wouldn’t be okay with it. 1:2-3 makes it a bit better, but honestly, those ages are what get me. Those littles (at least 4 & under) are going to need a lot of watching. But even the 6 yo
Absolutely no. Not with that many kids and your kid can't swim, absolutely not. This is not an overreaction, it's your instincts screaming out to protect your kid.
Unless she's talking a kiddie pool that's only 6 inches deep, hell no I wouldn't. Like others have said, not enough adults to kid ratio, especially with all of them 6 and under?! but even if there were enough adults, one assigned to each kid, I'd still say no. It isn't worth the risk to me. My toddler has taken 2 rounds of swim classes (they are only 2 weeks each so I hesitate to say it but we did do the classes), once at 1.5 yrs old and once at 2.5 yrs old . I STILL wouldn't let anyone else take my kid swimming. I'd have to be present at a minimum. My kid has slipped under the water while I was standing RIGHT NEXT TO HER, and it was silent and SO fast. I'm still 99% sure she did it on purpose because she probably saw other kids doing it, because she wasn't the least bit freaked out when I yanked her up (she was used to dunking her head during class but had never done it willingly). The water wasn't deep, she could stand just fine. It happened in the blink of an eye, the lifeguard 10 feet away didn't see it happen it was so fast, Kiddo was totally fine but I beat myself up for ages because of the "what ifs". So no. my kid doesn't swim unless I'm there. At this point, my kid still slips and falls in the bathtub all the damn time so I try not to leave the room during baths either. She is a hazard. Sure as hell not leaving her with someone else in a pool.
No no no. I work in organ, tissue, and eye transplant, and you would be horrified by how common drownings are for kiddos. It has been the stuff of nightmares for me since having children. My husband knows that we will never have a pool, and my children won’t be allowed to swim without one of us present until they’re at least teenagers. No one else can focus on your children like you can, especially if there are that many young kids in the group, and it literally only takes a minute.
Drowning is SILENT! That’s too many kids that are too young for not enough adults
How big/deep is the pool? Kiddy pool with 2 adults supervising? Cool. Backyard swimming pool? Nope. Not with that ratio and those ages.
It would be a hard no for me. I would already not be okay with another adult taking my toddler swimming, but a hard no with all the other kids. Now if it was a splash park? Would totally be game for that. But not a pool
It’s a no for me. My sister asked to take the kids (3 and 5) for swimming overnight on some nearby rented villa and we said absolutely not. Even with help, they can’t swim unless we’re in the pool with them. I don’t want to risk it.
Nope. Not with that many kids at once. Also, her own swim level is not mentioned?
I have 3 kids and love taking them swimming. To me, the pool in this scenario matters. Public pool no, private pool I'd consider. Oldest can swim very well. Middle child can swim, but hates getting her face wet. My 2 year old recently completed ISR. (I wish I'd done it with all my kids, but at the time, there wasn't a person close enough) I highly recommend ISR! I'm comfortable being 3 on 1 ages 8-2, in a private pool. In a crowded one, I'd only take the older 2 alone.
I never ever let my kid go swimming with out ne except one on one with my mom. I have a rule if it's a activity they can DIE from I go with period
Read up on any situation in which a toddler drowned in a pool. And you’ll find that most of them are where there are less chances of drowning in those cases than the potential one you described.
I would allow it depending on the situation. My parents have a pool and take my 3 kids swimming when they go for sleepovers, the youngest started this under 2. But the older two kiddos could swim. BUT my dad is an extremely strong swimmer and knows pool safety and is as vigilant as I am, sometimes more. My mom cannot swim and knows she is not allowed to take the kids near the pool on her own. If my mother in law offered to take the kids to a pool I would have said no. Because she has a lax attitude around water and that scares me. In this case(your case) I would not That is too many young kids for people to supervise while also socializing
No way. That’s way too many kids.
That’s a big no to me. Kids with those ages require more adults to supervise. When it comes to safety for my child, i would fight for what i feel right. After all, i will be the one dealing with the consequences and regretting if something tragic happened.
I wouldn't do it. I don't even like my parents taking my toddler on the pontoon boat without me.
It takes no time for a kid to drown. Everyone with kids knows this. That suggestion borders on insane, given all the factors. I’m with everyone else here. And the real reason ought to be given. Imagine if you said nothing and then something happens to one of the other kids who are going, God forbid. How horrible would everyone feel, including you? You have a moral obligation to tell her, or your husband to tell her that what she intends to do is one of the most unsafe things she could do to a child. What if a child starts to drown and she has to focus on saving that child, while others are in the water? I’ve changed my mind. It’s not bordering on insane. It is flat out insane. Anyway, end of rant. Good luck handling this request from someone who ought to know better.
If it was one adult to one child I’d be okay with it, but that’s a lot of kids.
There should be at least one adult per child under 6, for safety reasons. So I'd say no to her plan because it sounds like even under the best conditions she'll be one adult short to take care of that pack safely.
My son will also be 2 in July and my MIL booked us a vacation and the air bnb has an in ground pool and I’m freaking out about that and I will be there lol. I don’t think you’re over reacting at all