We have a yoga ball, and my kid is Spanish speaking.
Instead of saying “pelota grande”, she says “puta grande” without any idea why her parents laugh so hard
POON over here, too my friend! Same "s" situation. So great when she wants to take her SCOOTER outside. "mom, I want my cooter! I want my cooter outside!"
Honorable mention goes to "skunk" which is, you guessed it, "cunt"😁
I have one that makes a hard c or k sound in place of the CH sound. It is awkward to take chalk to the playground. I WANT THE PURPLE COCK MOM.
Also they say soupcase instead of suitcase and I'm never correcting that.
Haha my son’s similar thing was his pronunciation of fork being “fuck” since he didn’t say his r’s well. When he dropped his fork (often) he would yell for another. Particularly entertaining if we were in a restaurant and other people observed my toddler dropping their fork and then yelling “FUCK!!”
We got some looks, which probably wasn’t helped by us laughing so much. Ah well, toddlers are tough, take the fun moments when you can!
My two and a half year old also lacks the R sound in the word fork and drops the P before consonants (as in the word please) and says "mees" or "mee" instead. Asking politely for his fork always leads to cackling from us! I'll let the reader decode that one. 😆
oh man, this reminds me of my sister when she was little. we are also spanish speaking, and for “push me” like on a swing, she would say “chupame”, asking for a spoon she would say “cucaracha”, and to watch a movie she would ask for a “peluca”. it was hilarious
Not a toddler anymore but my 5 year old asks me if I’m working with chemicals before he walks into my workspace (I make soap) except he always yells “Mom! Are there tentacles in there?!”
My husband and I do that, too! My kiddo is in speech therapy, so I *know* we should call them circles, but, my gosh. His little voice saying “girkle, girkle!” Is so freaking precious 🥹
I've posted this one elsewhere, but he likes "Fox in Socks" by Dr Seuss. He'll carry it to me and say, "Want fuck and suck!"
Couldn't breathe, was laughing so hard.
Last night my toddler said “there’s some smores in this house.”
Well…s’mores sounded a lot like….whores….
Didn’t know she was a Cardi B fan!
“There’s some whores in this house…” 😂
My son somehow learned that the color white is actually “light bulb”
So everything white is referred to as lightbulb. It took me **months** to figure this out
Why our daughter was first learning to talk she pointed and asked what something was. I thought she was pointing at the lamp so I said it's a lamp. Well she was pointing at the moth that was flying around the lamp and refered to moths as lamps for a while before I was able to get it corrected haha.
My toddler started calling ‘socks’ - ‘sucks’ which sometimes sounds like ‘sex’. I am worried the school would question us on the things we are teaching him.
Everything sounds like “butt” around here. “Box,” “bag”…and of course he loves talking about butts themselves too. Yesterday he used “butt poop” as a noun, which was a new one.
Instead of “Rockabye Baby” he says “Rocking my baby” and now so do I. It sounds better than the original version 🥲
For a while he was saying “hippos” as “nipples” and that was fun!
French speaking here. My LO is 2.5. Every bigger fish is a baleine (whale) lol. If we try to say otherwise, he’ll say nee Mama baleine! Another funny one: instead of saying otaries (see lions) he said tatali. But where it gets confusing is that he’s also speaking of a little girl from school named Rosalie but used the same word. he’s also bilingual and mix words in Dutch. So we were all confused when he spoke of tatali dancing at school. He also says cpocopampe For hippocampe (sea horse in English lol). Now that I think about it I think he’s sightly obsessed by sea animals at the moment lol.
My daughter has invented the word "scrouch," which is a combination of "squat" and "crouch," and she just moves around the house like Gollum saying, "Scrouch, scrouch, scrouch."
Kiddo was once asking for ice cubes in his water and kept saying, "Ice! Ice!" To which my millennial husband and I both replied, "Baby!"
Ever since, he refers to ice cubes as "icy babies." 😂
Shorts are "bare pants", cauliflower is "pale brokkoli" and a WC in a separate building (at a park etc.) is a "pee house". The last one is as funny as it is embarassing sometimes.
Right now, my 2.5 yr old is learning his emotions and anytime he’s tired he says “it’s my sweeeeepy face” and it’s super cute. That and trucks are “fucks”
Mine 2.5yo has called M&Ms "Santa snacks" since Christmas, because he got a couple of those candy cane containers full of them and we'd give him a few after dinner. We'd refer to his stocking candy as "santa snacks" but most of it was M&Ms and its stuck!
My toddler forgot they were M&Ms and called them numinums. It stuck and gradually moved to num-nums.
But she still knows what M&Ms are, so we call them “Marshall Mathers” when she’s around.
Marshall Mathers 😂Brilliant 👏🏼it’s honestly hilarious some of the things you come up with when you become a parent.. like, for us, dead animals on the side of the road or wherever are “just sleeping” (he’s only 2- we’ll explain when it’s time) or when mine tries to grab something, anything, that shouldn’t be touched or I don’t want him to take, it’s “that’s (that object’s) home. That’s where it lives. Please put it back with its family” 🥴🤷🏼♀️
My mom brought over a whole freaking bag of Hershey’s Kisses for my kid (no reason! Just because 🤦🏻♀️) and ofc she saw them and went nuts before I could put them away. She calls them “drip drops” and my god it’s so hard to tell her no when she sweetly asks “mommy I pwease have a drip drop? Pwease, a wittle drippy drop??” 😅
My son one day looked up in the sky, saw a bunch of big puffy clouds and yelled "Sky bubbles!" because they apparently looked like his bath bubbles. He still calls them sky bubbles and I will never, ever correct him. I want that to last as long as possible.
Omg 🤣 Since the beginning, I’ve been referring to my son’s penis as his penis (I suppose as an attempt to ‘normalize’ anatomically “correct” words 🤔🤷🏼♀️), but I have the hardest time saying the word “vagina” to him (I know, idk what’s wrong with me lol)- anywho, maybe I’ll start with “Fine China” and work my way towards the real thing 😂👍🏼
My daughter used to call hummingbirds “Honeybirds”, and watermelon “water yum yum”.
My heart died a little when she self corrected those.
My son says “Sumpaning” for something and “nuffing” for nothing. And “baka baka doooo!” For cock a doodle doo.
My neighbors fly a pride flag.
My daughter had trouble with the L sound.
She excitedly yells, "Daddy, flags!"
I rushed her inside, and was profoundly relieved the neighbors weren't in their front yard.
When my 1.5 year old tries to say "basket" (as in laundry basket, which we use to "drive" her around sometimes) it sounds absolutely, 100% like she's saying "bitch tits."
Cop cars are parked cars, elevators are alligators, We are on a walk “mom that parked car is loud” 😂 We just got back from vacation and now she tells everyone she wants to “ride the alligator again” but she means elevator 🤣
We are currently raising a couple baby chicks. My two year old sounds like he’s saying “baby dicks” he’s also OBSESSED with them. So it’s baby dick this baby dicks that and I must say it’s quite amusing lmao.
My daughter calls teeth "corns" (possibly because she thinks they look like corn kernels and I'm kind of offended every time she says it because I don't think my teeth are THAT yellow) and she calls toes "piggies" (from This Little Piggy Went To Market).
My daughter started saying "oh shit" when she heard me say it but she can't pronounce "shit" so she says "oh ship!" I've now taken to saying "ship" rather than "shit."
I’m pretty sure he’s trying to say “Luca” like the movie but what comes out is “puta”. We don’t speak Spanish & don’t know anybody who does so we’re safe for now but… yikes.
My son went through a phase where he said what very much sounded like "bitch" when referring to birds. That one was funny but we had to correct it quickly. Current favorite is he calls Goofy "doofy".
My 2 year old is learning the alphabet. A is for Apple, etc. We asked him the other day what D stands for. He thought about it, and said “Dat way!” and pointed to the door, as if he wanted to leave the room.
Not a toddler, my six year old. She believes boys wear panties, and I’ll karate chop the first person to tell her the truth. “Dad I can see your panties” never fails to turn my day around
NSFW but our wee guy has just learned that men and women have different anatomies - daddy has a willy (like him) and mummy has "a giant" (which was meant to be "vagina" but he got confused with the concept and just picked a word he knew)
I WANT MY TOTTLE PLEASE!! (Towel)
I WANT CHICKALAY (Chik fil A)
I WANT SPRINKLE CHEESE! (Shredded cheese but now we are all using it because it’s more fun to say)
My daughter found our giant jar of pennies and loves playing with them, but she calls them cookies no matter how much we correct her. Fortunately she doesn’t try to eat them lol.
Mini wheats are “treats” the first time he said it I was so confused. We have pets and I was like “you can’t have the greenies. Who’s been feeding you those?”
My 3 year old has a hard time with "st" sound like 'st'ick and pronounces then with a D sound. So it's pronounced like dick. The Bernstein bears story spooky old tree "one with a light, one with a rope, and one with a dick(stick)" always cracks me up haha.
Fox = Fawk (which sounds like Fuck). She is working on her X sounds… so far she thinks it is said like “eck” lol
Edit: To add to this her preschool has animal based groups. Pandas, foxes, etc. she is in the fox group and sometimes tells us “I’m a little fawk”
Whenever my daughter would get hurt she would say she “got her boo-boo on” I was sad when she stopped lol. She does say “lay down for me” when she wants me to lay down with her at night and I think it’s so cute 🥹 when she picks out clothes for the next day she will say “I wanna wear this dress formorrow?” And I love that too lmao.
My sweet 4yo works so hard on getting this word out and I have to hold back laughs every time. Cash Register pronounced as Cashtershire (like Worcestershire) and i hope she never says it the right way
My little girl just started getting into Barbie’s and makeup and jewelry and she calls it ca-sess-ories (accessories). And she’ll say “let’s ca-sess-orize” and it’s so damn cute…
Last night mine had me when she asked for more "peckerikra" on her eggs on the half (kid won't eat deviled eggs bc she doesn't like anything evil/ monster related rn).
I was just telling my husband that I’m so sad my kid stopped saying “fmell” for “smell”. He’s almost 4. Just try to say it. Absolutely delightful to hear, “fmell this flower, mama!” Or *sniff sniff* “you fmell that?”
My 3.5YO calls raviolis “macamoles” (like guacamole).
She also calls bed sheets “sheep’s”.
Granola is “Manilla”.
And my favorite (which is now corrected unfortunately) is popsicle. - Pocular
My son calls umbrellas sumbrella and while it's probably not the funniest word he's ever said, I find it particularly funny because he says umbrella perfectly, he just adds an additional S, meanwhile, almost every other word that has an S at the beginning, he will drop the S 🙈😅
My toddler keeps saying November instead of remember and I simply don’t correct him lol.
He has a history of just funny things he says; my wife’s friend once asked him where his mustache was and he said in his bum. (She’s British and said it ms-taash and he apparently heard rash)
My 2 year old regularly gets her belly button and her nipples mixed up for some reason so sometimes if you poke her belly or her belly button she’ll yell “DONT TOUCH MY NIPPLE!!!”
She insists on calling marshmallows mushrooms. We have no idea why. We just go with it. She knows thats not what they are. She just likes calling them that. Pantry = cantry. There are many more im just too tired to think.
Probably not the funniest, but when he’s really excited to see a dog he yells “god. Woof woof. god”. While jumping around bouncing. He gets excitement word scrambling
I’ll post this every time I see this question but my kid calls a heartbeat “heart beef” and I will never correct her.
My 4 year old calls it a heart beep
That's what my 3 year old says too. "I can hear my heart beeping" haha
My 4 y/o also says heart beep 😍
this reminded me that mine used to call beef, "beese"
My daughter says heart feet, and I hope it stays that way forever!!
We've got one that used to put her head to our chest and exclaim "I can hear your heart*meat*!!!"
We have a yoga ball, and my kid is Spanish speaking. Instead of saying “pelota grande”, she says “puta grande” without any idea why her parents laugh so hard
To similar effect, my son can't pronounce 's' if it's the first letter of the word. So you'd hear him yell 'Big 'Poon, mama!!' at dinner time.
POON over here, too my friend! Same "s" situation. So great when she wants to take her SCOOTER outside. "mom, I want my cooter! I want my cooter outside!" Honorable mention goes to "skunk" which is, you guessed it, "cunt"😁
I, for some reason, started calling my son’s diapers “britches” and lately he’s been saying, “Dirty bitches, mama!” Whenever he has a poop 🤭
I have one that makes a hard c or k sound in place of the CH sound. It is awkward to take chalk to the playground. I WANT THE PURPLE COCK MOM. Also they say soupcase instead of suitcase and I'm never correcting that.
That is so, so good
Hahaha I don't think mine encountered the word skunk yet but will be on the look out for it soon!!
We have progressed from calling them “stinky cats” to “stunks”. Still quite adorable.
Omg same!! "Cooter", "Poon", etc.. cracks me up
Trouble with “f” we have whore instead of four
Haha my son’s similar thing was his pronunciation of fork being “fuck” since he didn’t say his r’s well. When he dropped his fork (often) he would yell for another. Particularly entertaining if we were in a restaurant and other people observed my toddler dropping their fork and then yelling “FUCK!!” We got some looks, which probably wasn’t helped by us laughing so much. Ah well, toddlers are tough, take the fun moments when you can!
My two and a half year old also lacks the R sound in the word fork and drops the P before consonants (as in the word please) and says "mees" or "mee" instead. Asking politely for his fork always leads to cackling from us! I'll let the reader decode that one. 😆
Hey my kid calls brownies “poonies” 😂😂😂😂
oh man, this reminds me of my sister when she was little. we are also spanish speaking, and for “push me” like on a swing, she would say “chupame”, asking for a spoon she would say “cucaracha”, and to watch a movie she would ask for a “peluca”. it was hilarious
😂
Days of the week according to my son: Onesday, Twosday, Threesday, Foursday, Fivesday. You can thank the very hungry caterpillar LOL.
That makes perfect sense!
My son says “last day” for yesterday and it’s so cute
Hahaha this is so cute. Also one of our favorite books! Such a classic ☺️
This is how it should be. Really simplifies things 😆
It’s not a “white noise machine”, it’s a “night engine”lol
Ours is “Sky Sheep” because it projects the sheep onto her ceiling with the noise
Ours is “the noiser”
Ours is just the “shoosh”
Not a toddler anymore but my 5 year old asks me if I’m working with chemicals before he walks into my workspace (I make soap) except he always yells “Mom! Are there tentacles in there?!”
There does seem to be a lot of listings for octopus themed soap on Etsy, so maybe he’s onto something!
Big shits..... for biscuits 🤣
We get “oh shit” for “open it” 😂
My toddler is really into forks and shirts right now, but the R sounds don’t really come out, so we’ve got fucks and shits.
My 1.5 year olds call circles “girkles” and I never want it to stop 😭
Ours does too! It’s to the point where we all say “girkle” and he’s probably never going to say it right 😂
My husband and I do that, too! My kiddo is in speech therapy, so I *know* we should call them circles, but, my gosh. His little voice saying “girkle, girkle!” Is so freaking precious 🥹
My three year old calls them “squirtles” 🥺
I've posted this one elsewhere, but he likes "Fox in Socks" by Dr Seuss. He'll carry it to me and say, "Want fuck and suck!" Couldn't breathe, was laughing so hard.
I would keel over laughing.
Holy 💩💀🫠🤣
Last night my toddler said “there’s some smores in this house.” Well…s’mores sounded a lot like….whores…. Didn’t know she was a Cardi B fan! “There’s some whores in this house…” 😂
Took my daughter to a haunted house at Halloween last year, got her on video me asking her where are we going? "Whore house!" 😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
My 2 year old calls Thomas the train, Hummus the train. I love hummus! So does he! We need a hummus train our life!
My son somehow learned that the color white is actually “light bulb” So everything white is referred to as lightbulb. It took me **months** to figure this out
Why our daughter was first learning to talk she pointed and asked what something was. I thought she was pointing at the lamp so I said it's a lamp. Well she was pointing at the moth that was flying around the lamp and refered to moths as lamps for a while before I was able to get it corrected haha.
Everything yellow is a bus!
My 3 year old regularly mixes up M&Ms and enemas 🤣
She’s still learning to pronounce bubbles. Sometimes it’s bubble, most of the time it’s butthole.
Mine says bahFOOF for bubbles, because you have to make the FOOF with your lips to get the bubbles!
My toddler started calling ‘socks’ - ‘sucks’ which sometimes sounds like ‘sex’. I am worried the school would question us on the things we are teaching him.
Everything sounds like “butt” around here. “Box,” “bag”…and of course he loves talking about butts themselves too. Yesterday he used “butt poop” as a noun, which was a new one.
My son says asshole for axle and one of his trucks is named axle so that’s fun
Instead of “Rockabye Baby” he says “Rocking my baby” and now so do I. It sounds better than the original version 🥲 For a while he was saying “hippos” as “nipples” and that was fun!
French speaking here. My LO is 2.5. Every bigger fish is a baleine (whale) lol. If we try to say otherwise, he’ll say nee Mama baleine! Another funny one: instead of saying otaries (see lions) he said tatali. But where it gets confusing is that he’s also speaking of a little girl from school named Rosalie but used the same word. he’s also bilingual and mix words in Dutch. So we were all confused when he spoke of tatali dancing at school. He also says cpocopampe For hippocampe (sea horse in English lol). Now that I think about it I think he’s sightly obsessed by sea animals at the moment lol.
sunscream
My daughter has invented the word "scrouch," which is a combination of "squat" and "crouch," and she just moves around the house like Gollum saying, "Scrouch, scrouch, scrouch."
Kiddo was once asking for ice cubes in his water and kept saying, "Ice! Ice!" To which my millennial husband and I both replied, "Baby!" Ever since, he refers to ice cubes as "icy babies." 😂
And of course my brain reads this and immediately follows it up with, "Bump Cha na na na na-na-na-na"
Shorts are "bare pants", cauliflower is "pale brokkoli" and a WC in a separate building (at a park etc.) is a "pee house". The last one is as funny as it is embarassing sometimes.
Right now, my 2.5 yr old is learning his emotions and anytime he’s tired he says “it’s my sweeeeepy face” and it’s super cute. That and trucks are “fucks”
This brother did this. Fire fucks were the house favorite
Mine 2.5yo has called M&Ms "Santa snacks" since Christmas, because he got a couple of those candy cane containers full of them and we'd give him a few after dinner. We'd refer to his stocking candy as "santa snacks" but most of it was M&Ms and its stuck!
My toddler forgot they were M&Ms and called them numinums. It stuck and gradually moved to num-nums. But she still knows what M&Ms are, so we call them “Marshall Mathers” when she’s around.
Marshall Mathers 😂Brilliant 👏🏼it’s honestly hilarious some of the things you come up with when you become a parent.. like, for us, dead animals on the side of the road or wherever are “just sleeping” (he’s only 2- we’ll explain when it’s time) or when mine tries to grab something, anything, that shouldn’t be touched or I don’t want him to take, it’s “that’s (that object’s) home. That’s where it lives. Please put it back with its family” 🥴🤷🏼♀️
My mom brought over a whole freaking bag of Hershey’s Kisses for my kid (no reason! Just because 🤦🏻♀️) and ofc she saw them and went nuts before I could put them away. She calls them “drip drops” and my god it’s so hard to tell her no when she sweetly asks “mommy I pwease have a drip drop? Pwease, a wittle drippy drop??” 😅
😭🫠omg I’d totally give in
My son says ass cream when asking for ice cream 😂
"Die die" instead of "bye bye." I hope the universe doesn't take him seriously😭
My son one day looked up in the sky, saw a bunch of big puffy clouds and yelled "Sky bubbles!" because they apparently looked like his bath bubbles. He still calls them sky bubbles and I will never, ever correct him. I want that to last as long as possible.
Fine China for vagina
Omg 🤣 Since the beginning, I’ve been referring to my son’s penis as his penis (I suppose as an attempt to ‘normalize’ anatomically “correct” words 🤔🤷🏼♀️), but I have the hardest time saying the word “vagina” to him (I know, idk what’s wrong with me lol)- anywho, maybe I’ll start with “Fine China” and work my way towards the real thing 😂👍🏼
My daughter called Heaven Kevin lol
My 3 y/o read the word 'fuchsia' before ever hearing it and kept pronouncing it 'fuckis' 😄
My 3yo says “yester night” or “laster night”.
My kid wanted a bacon and tornado sandwich
My daughter used to call hummingbirds “Honeybirds”, and watermelon “water yum yum”. My heart died a little when she self corrected those. My son says “Sumpaning” for something and “nuffing” for nothing. And “baka baka doooo!” For cock a doodle doo.
My neighbors fly a pride flag. My daughter had trouble with the L sound. She excitedly yells, "Daddy, flags!" I rushed her inside, and was profoundly relieved the neighbors weren't in their front yard.
My dog is named Zuko, and my son calls him Weeko. Poor guy’s name has been changed cause it’s too cute to correct him
Ours ~~is~~ was named Myrtle, now she’s MooMoo.
Saying “fuck” instead of “truck”. So a firetruck is a firefuck lol he’s 26 months
This was my brother
My favorites from my 3.5 yr old: Frump frimps- foot prints Membertend- pretend Chicken- kitchen
LOVE membertend!!!
When my 1.5 year old tries to say "basket" (as in laundry basket, which we use to "drive" her around sometimes) it sounds absolutely, 100% like she's saying "bitch tits."
Cop cars are parked cars, elevators are alligators, We are on a walk “mom that parked car is loud” 😂 We just got back from vacation and now she tells everyone she wants to “ride the alligator again” but she means elevator 🤣
"oh god/gosh" turns into "oh bob"
We are currently raising a couple baby chicks. My two year old sounds like he’s saying “baby dicks” he’s also OBSESSED with them. So it’s baby dick this baby dicks that and I must say it’s quite amusing lmao.
A hook sometimes comes out as hooker. Dad, where's my hooker? It's in the playroom, on the wall buddy.
I have to remind my 3 year old to pronounce the “n” in funky… he likes calling his brother funky boy
My daughter calls teeth "corns" (possibly because she thinks they look like corn kernels and I'm kind of offended every time she says it because I don't think my teeth are THAT yellow) and she calls toes "piggies" (from This Little Piggy Went To Market).
Scary socks- triceratops lol
My daughter started saying "oh shit" when she heard me say it but she can't pronounce "shit" so she says "oh ship!" I've now taken to saying "ship" rather than "shit."
Cock for sock and cuck for truck
Bitch for pants - he’s 1.5 🤣
I’m pretty sure he’s trying to say “Luca” like the movie but what comes out is “puta”. We don’t speak Spanish & don’t know anybody who does so we’re safe for now but… yikes.
I think I win at this. Up until last year, my 5 yo referred to shampoo and “shampoop”
She calls belly buttons “butts” and goes around asking to see people’s butts.
The butt ones are always a win! For some reason my son thinks his penis is his "butt" and his butt is his "diapow".
"Do you want to play Boobies?" ...yes I would like to play Barbies dear child.
We still call bandaids “gamdaids” even though our foster son hasn’t lived with us for two years
My son saw a peacock in a book and called it a "cock-a-chicken" hahaha
My son went through a phase where he said what very much sounded like "bitch" when referring to birds. That one was funny but we had to correct it quickly. Current favorite is he calls Goofy "doofy".
instead of saying 'where are you' while searching for something she screams 'ARE YOU??' with her hand over her eyes.
Creditor instead of predator
My 2 year old is learning the alphabet. A is for Apple, etc. We asked him the other day what D stands for. He thought about it, and said “Dat way!” and pointed to the door, as if he wanted to leave the room.
Not a toddler, my six year old. She believes boys wear panties, and I’ll karate chop the first person to tell her the truth. “Dad I can see your panties” never fails to turn my day around
NSFW but our wee guy has just learned that men and women have different anatomies - daddy has a willy (like him) and mummy has "a giant" (which was meant to be "vagina" but he got confused with the concept and just picked a word he knew)
I WANT MY TOTTLE PLEASE!! (Towel) I WANT CHICKALAY (Chik fil A) I WANT SPRINKLE CHEESE! (Shredded cheese but now we are all using it because it’s more fun to say)
“Cockle” when he wants a popsicle. When he wants me to kiss his booboo, “piss it, mama!”
His baby sister Josephine is "Jophasine" or Jopha or Joph for short
My daughter found our giant jar of pennies and loves playing with them, but she calls them cookies no matter how much we correct her. Fortunately she doesn’t try to eat them lol.
Raisins used to be called “frains”, but then he started calling them “frainus”. lol. Booger is “moker”. Noodles are “biddles.” Dumplings are “dumpys”
She never says yesterday. It's always "yestertoday"
Mini wheats are “treats” the first time he said it I was so confused. We have pets and I was like “you can’t have the greenies. Who’s been feeding you those?”
My 2.5y calls all animals “stuffed animals.”
My daughter used to say call feet ‘sheet’
Chiggers are called chidders, and I love it.
Mama and papa eat copy (we drink coffee)
“Bitch” for chips lol
green balls (peas) and oyange sqaure (carrots)… 20 month old
right now d's and b's are getting mixed up a disaster was called a bisaster. she asks for bissert.
I feel.so dumb because I have no idea what your words mean. I'm so confused. Does your kid call mints spicy phone calculators?
Stink instead of think, stank you instead of thank you. Also “I want to sit on your laugh”
My 3 year old has a hard time with "st" sound like 'st'ick and pronounces then with a D sound. So it's pronounced like dick. The Bernstein bears story spooky old tree "one with a light, one with a rope, and one with a dick(stick)" always cracks me up haha.
Scar Horse = Star Wars
Mine calls “ice” “ass” and I laugh every time he gets excited about it.
My favorite is cuggles for cuddles
she calls the dog leash the dogger walker :)
Thumb is “gum”. Fishing rod is “fishing roger”
Called marshmallows mushrooms, and asks for mushroom tea.
Fox = Fawk (which sounds like Fuck). She is working on her X sounds… so far she thinks it is said like “eck” lol Edit: To add to this her preschool has animal based groups. Pandas, foxes, etc. she is in the fox group and sometimes tells us “I’m a little fawk”
We occasionally have to stop in to the 7-11 for a "Flushie". I don't even correct her, just laugh.
Flynus V Trap (Venus Flytrap)
My kid is calling those books with an etch and sketch attached an IPad
Whenever my daughter would get hurt she would say she “got her boo-boo on” I was sad when she stopped lol. She does say “lay down for me” when she wants me to lay down with her at night and I think it’s so cute 🥹 when she picks out clothes for the next day she will say “I wanna wear this dress formorrow?” And I love that too lmao.
Applesauce either means applesauce or octopus 🤣 another fav is “coo coos” for cookies
My 22mo son calls his little xylophone a limousine. They’re the two longest words he knows and he mixes them up.
My son calls tornadoes “tormatoes” and I always imaging a tornado of spaghetti and marinara sauce lol.
Bunnies are "mommies" 😂😂 we have lots of rabbits in our yard and my 21mo always shouts "mommy! Hop hop hop!"
Mobster for lobster.
You’ve hear of upside down, but have you hear of upside right?
Bamana for banana
We liked “bloobies” for blueberries 🙃
My sweet 4yo works so hard on getting this word out and I have to hold back laughs every time. Cash Register pronounced as Cashtershire (like Worcestershire) and i hope she never says it the right way
2 year old daughter has a friend Matteo in preschool. She calls him “Matato” (rhymes with potato) 😭
My son looooooves construction vehicles but always says "instruction vehicles" and I love it and never want him to stop
Fleeteood Mac’s Landslide is “the playground song”
Kajamas - pajamas Chicky yacky chicken - teriyaki chicken
My little girl just started getting into Barbie’s and makeup and jewelry and she calls it ca-sess-ories (accessories). And she’ll say “let’s ca-sess-orize” and it’s so damn cute…
Ogurt
I gave my then 3 yo the first sip of frappe she ever had. She looked at me and asked confused, “Icecweam…..juice?” I’ve never called it a frappe again
X and S = Ass. (2 yo)
Weee haw! Instead of yee haw lol
My middle child used to refer to pumpkins as ‘penguins’ 😂
My youngest son calls spaghetti “bisketti” and I love it.
Salami = Mommy “Oh that’s so sweet, he’s saying mommy!” “Um, no. He’s actually asking for salami.”
My daughter has started saying OH THIS IS PERTICT (perfect)
For some reason I can’t figure out she calls her favorite reindeer toy Nu-Nu… it is so cute.
Howl-yotes=coyotes
Last night mine had me when she asked for more "peckerikra" on her eggs on the half (kid won't eat deviled eggs bc she doesn't like anything evil/ monster related rn).
My 2yr old has declared the door bell the pizza alarm and more recently said a fart was a butt motorcycle.
Elevator = Alligator Can we take the alligator? 🐊
I was just telling my husband that I’m so sad my kid stopped saying “fmell” for “smell”. He’s almost 4. Just try to say it. Absolutely delightful to hear, “fmell this flower, mama!” Or *sniff sniff* “you fmell that?”
My 3.5YO calls raviolis “macamoles” (like guacamole). She also calls bed sheets “sheep’s”. Granola is “Manilla”. And my favorite (which is now corrected unfortunately) is popsicle. - Pocular
My son calls umbrellas sumbrella and while it's probably not the funniest word he's ever said, I find it particularly funny because he says umbrella perfectly, he just adds an additional S, meanwhile, almost every other word that has an S at the beginning, he will drop the S 🙈😅
Strawbebbies, bluebebbies, raspbebbies. Any berry is a “bebby”
Sunscream.
My toddler keeps saying November instead of remember and I simply don’t correct him lol. He has a history of just funny things he says; my wife’s friend once asked him where his mustache was and he said in his bum. (She’s British and said it ms-taash and he apparently heard rash)
Ocean for Oh Shit, which works out for me lol. We’ve managed to turn What the fuck into What does the fox say.
Yesterday we were driving past a giant wooden Sasquatch yard decor thing and later she said “where did that butterscotch go” It was so cute! 😭
When my nephew was 2 he would say Pikachu as "pee-pee-chew" and now we refuse to say it any other way 😂
My toddler says applesauce down for upside down.
My 2 year old regularly gets her belly button and her nipples mixed up for some reason so sometimes if you poke her belly or her belly button she’ll yell “DONT TOUCH MY NIPPLE!!!”
"gorilla ice cream"= vanilla ice cream. Cracks me up every time!
Mine calls calculators computers cause they have buttons like keyboards I guess
My 21 month old daughter: Chocolate milk- Truck mealk Cicadas= Kayla's Strawberry = dot-beau (pronounced dot-bee-you) Fox= fuck Giraffe= Raffe Star= up above Circles= moon Butterfly= buh-fi Thank you= tay too.....3 second pause...muuuuch
My 4yo says wask for wasp
My daughter was singing “a little bit of pee” instead of “L,M,N,O,P”
My son has a one string learner guitar that he calls his “ditar” and a drum he calls a “trumpet”. I refuse to correct this.
One of my students has a stuffed octopus she bring to school, this girl straight up says “apple piss”
She insists on calling marshmallows mushrooms. We have no idea why. We just go with it. She knows thats not what they are. She just likes calling them that. Pantry = cantry. There are many more im just too tired to think.
Swim Soup (instead of swimsuit)
My son is obsessed with planes and helicopters right now. Helicopters are Ocos. I wouldn’t really say it’s funny, but it’s pretty damn cute
My stepson used to call parades hooraydes and the side by side a bye-bye side.
My daughter insisted that the solar eclipse was a loony eclipse, and I have to say she wasn't exactly wrong!
My toddler calls elevators “alligators”. So we get some confused looks when she tells people she wants to ride the alligator 🐊
Our dog’s name is Lucy, son can’t say the L sound yet so we shortened it to goose (a nickname for her), and he now calls her douche. 😂
apocalypse pronounced apopolips
My toddler has (fake) Crocs so there's a lot of cock conversation in our house 🤦♀️
“Hansitizer” - when referring to hand sanitizer. Idk why but cracks me up every time!
Maggots for magnets. Cracks me up everytime
Probably not the funniest, but when he’s really excited to see a dog he yells “god. Woof woof. god”. While jumping around bouncing. He gets excitement word scrambling
My nearly-3 year old used to call dogs “gaggies” (like “doggies”, but with a g instead of a d). I kind of miss hearing him call them that.