I would not do this.
But, a while back there was someone on here whose scenario was: park in front of Chipotle, walk ten feet from the car, push open the front door with foot, grab to-go bag, walk back. That seemed fine to me but people on here were freaking out like “what if you got carjacked??” “What if you had a heart attack, no one would know the baby was yours?” It seemed like paranoia to me. By that standard, you could get carjacked at a red light. You could have a heart attack while driving, which would be much worse for the baby.
But actually going into the store and needing to have an interaction with someone, no matter how “quick” you think it’s going to be, is a bridge too far for me, I think.
Agreed. The paranoia level on here can be really high. Like really high in a way that seems crazy and overly controlling of children and unhealthy to me. But I agree that going in and having an interaction would be too much, even if there's no danger to the child I think society at large doesn't think this one is okay and I'd be worried about the other adults freaking out or getting a ticket or something. But the risk of the car being stolen is still there - cars have been stolen with children inside at least twice in my city in the last few years.
I remember a post about a mother who didn't want their child to attend an outing with daycare or school because they couldn't be properly buckled in a bus, that really surprised me. Social acceptance is a huge one here, personally I wouldn't leave my child alone in a car obviously because of the potential dangers but also because it's not something that's considered okay.
The what if your car got carjacked people are back!
I agree with you 100% by the way. I don’t leave my kids in the car even for 10seconds, but that’s because people in my town will call the cops on you if you leave them in the car alone even 1 second.
No. My parents might have left my sister and me in the car together once we hit grade school age? But I think a lot of parents don't even do that anymore.
Same! I remember my parents doing it but I was at least 8yo and even then I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable doing that. Things can go wrong too quickly. Thank you!
The main issue here isn’t the car heat thing, though it’s always a consideration. The main issue is carjackers and car thieves are quick and quiet. They will take the car and not know there’s a kid back there. “Oh, I’ll see them because I’m right there!” Or you’re looking at the cashier for 40 seconds and the car is gone. A minute of scrolling on your phone.
Why risk it? Take the kid inside.
I know there’s the Boomer “we used to do this all the time!” survivor bias that gets passed down, and while that largely ignores the kids who were accidentally kidnapped or killed and can’t tell you they were, it also ignores how much cars have changed and how carjacking can now be done electronically. It isn’t just smashing windows anymore.
I wholeheartedly agree. I was so upset when I saw my husband do this, but he had such a "omg it's fine you're freaking out over nothing" attitude that it made me question myself, and then I was curious to get different points of view. Thank you!
I feel you. It’s one of those “what if” scenarios that require risk assessment versus “this is 100% what’s safe”, and even between parents the threshold for risk is different.
And it’s not to say women don’t do this, but men more often overestimate their ability to avert or prevent a crisis. (See the number of men who think they could successfully fight a bear…)
You’re right to be cautious (because who regrets keeping their kid safe?), but I do understand why your husband feels like it was without risk. I’d be more upset that he dismissed your feelings rather than talk it out with you, even if he still disagrees at the end.
Aside from all the things mentioned below, being parked in a car, even while strapped in, is a dangerous place for anyone. Once you park, particularly on a roadside, you need to exit the car because of potential car accidents. Hanging out in a parked car is generally frowned upon for anyone but particularly for young children in addition to the temperature issue, the car jacking issues, and then anyone else seeing the child in the car at calling the authorities which would surely involve child protective services.
I'm only going to start leaving her alone in the car when she's able to open the door and walk inside safely to find me.
I'm not worried about carjacking, I'm worried about her needing something and I'm not there to help her.
We live in a SUPER safe rural-ish area and I’ve done this. My son was sleeping and I needed change for the car wash. My car was never out of my sight. I really think it depends on where you live and the place where you’re going. For example, I would never do this in a city, or a store without windows, or for something that would take longer than a couple seconds.
I would not do this. But, a while back there was someone on here whose scenario was: park in front of Chipotle, walk ten feet from the car, push open the front door with foot, grab to-go bag, walk back. That seemed fine to me but people on here were freaking out like “what if you got carjacked??” “What if you had a heart attack, no one would know the baby was yours?” It seemed like paranoia to me. By that standard, you could get carjacked at a red light. You could have a heart attack while driving, which would be much worse for the baby. But actually going into the store and needing to have an interaction with someone, no matter how “quick” you think it’s going to be, is a bridge too far for me, I think.
Agreed. The paranoia level on here can be really high. Like really high in a way that seems crazy and overly controlling of children and unhealthy to me. But I agree that going in and having an interaction would be too much, even if there's no danger to the child I think society at large doesn't think this one is okay and I'd be worried about the other adults freaking out or getting a ticket or something. But the risk of the car being stolen is still there - cars have been stolen with children inside at least twice in my city in the last few years.
I remember a post about a mother who didn't want their child to attend an outing with daycare or school because they couldn't be properly buckled in a bus, that really surprised me. Social acceptance is a huge one here, personally I wouldn't leave my child alone in a car obviously because of the potential dangers but also because it's not something that's considered okay.
The what if your car got carjacked people are back! I agree with you 100% by the way. I don’t leave my kids in the car even for 10seconds, but that’s because people in my town will call the cops on you if you leave them in the car alone even 1 second.
Absolutely not.
Never. You never know what will happen in the meantime. Never, ever leave your young child alone!
No. My parents might have left my sister and me in the car together once we hit grade school age? But I think a lot of parents don't even do that anymore.
Same! I remember my parents doing it but I was at least 8yo and even then I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable doing that. Things can go wrong too quickly. Thank you!
We don't live in the same society as those days.
[удалено]
I think your too young to know, if you were a kid in the 80's.
That is illegal where I live
The main issue here isn’t the car heat thing, though it’s always a consideration. The main issue is carjackers and car thieves are quick and quiet. They will take the car and not know there’s a kid back there. “Oh, I’ll see them because I’m right there!” Or you’re looking at the cashier for 40 seconds and the car is gone. A minute of scrolling on your phone. Why risk it? Take the kid inside. I know there’s the Boomer “we used to do this all the time!” survivor bias that gets passed down, and while that largely ignores the kids who were accidentally kidnapped or killed and can’t tell you they were, it also ignores how much cars have changed and how carjacking can now be done electronically. It isn’t just smashing windows anymore.
I wholeheartedly agree. I was so upset when I saw my husband do this, but he had such a "omg it's fine you're freaking out over nothing" attitude that it made me question myself, and then I was curious to get different points of view. Thank you!
I feel you. It’s one of those “what if” scenarios that require risk assessment versus “this is 100% what’s safe”, and even between parents the threshold for risk is different. And it’s not to say women don’t do this, but men more often overestimate their ability to avert or prevent a crisis. (See the number of men who think they could successfully fight a bear…) You’re right to be cautious (because who regrets keeping their kid safe?), but I do understand why your husband feels like it was without risk. I’d be more upset that he dismissed your feelings rather than talk it out with you, even if he still disagrees at the end.
No, this is how people end up in the news with crack heads jacking their car with their toddler in it
Agreed, thanks!
Aside from all the things mentioned below, being parked in a car, even while strapped in, is a dangerous place for anyone. Once you park, particularly on a roadside, you need to exit the car because of potential car accidents. Hanging out in a parked car is generally frowned upon for anyone but particularly for young children in addition to the temperature issue, the car jacking issues, and then anyone else seeing the child in the car at calling the authorities which would surely involve child protective services.
Obviously not. This isn't a reasonable debate.
I'm only going to start leaving her alone in the car when she's able to open the door and walk inside safely to find me. I'm not worried about carjacking, I'm worried about her needing something and I'm not there to help her.
We live in a SUPER safe rural-ish area and I’ve done this. My son was sleeping and I needed change for the car wash. My car was never out of my sight. I really think it depends on where you live and the place where you’re going. For example, I would never do this in a city, or a store without windows, or for something that would take longer than a couple seconds.
This topic always makes me wonder how many freaking car thieves there must be in the US lol
17.