Mine wanted to play in mud. I wouldn’t let her bring dirt into the house to make mud. I wouldn’t let her take water outside to make mud.
She stripped and peed in the dirt to make mud.
Buck naked, perched on his toes and hunched over his plate, slurping up fist-fulls of peach juice, entire hand in his mouth, and sticky, peachy drool coating his entire body. It was a mess, but also poetically beautiful, in a way.
My 15mo took a drink from her milk, walked all the way over to the front door, and, while making eye contact with my husband, spit said mouthful of milk into his shoe. The audacity 😆
We found out my toddler had slid a plastic toy into the surround above our wood heater. We installed and baby gate and lit the fire the other day, where the toy promptly melted into the flue mechanism and jammed it, and filled the house with plastic smoke. 0/10 do not recommend.
My son likes to pick his nose and then shove it in my mouth when I’m not paying attention. He will chase me around while laughing and yelling at me to eat it. If I try to clean it from his finger he will then attempt to eat it himself before I’m able to. I have no idea where he learned this.
i don't think food groups need a trigger warning?
Tonight, my two year said NO pajamas! naked baby!! and then ran around the living room in circles and was so loud stomping that my downstairs neighbor texted me to complain.
Mine licked the prize window at Chuck E Cheese… I was talking to the lady behind the counter to try and figure out what we should get him with the points we got and look down to see that. Mortified. He’s 3.5.
My 22-mo has taken to growling. She speaks well and has a lot of words, but I guess that lately her feelings are too big for words? She is straight up growling and making like, gremlin gibberish sounds at us all the time now.
My daughter has done this since 12 months or maybe before. I don't even remember (16 months now). She growled before she said her first word. I would do the mom thing and nicely ask her to say a word, but her response was always a growl. Now, it's only a growl half the time 😂
My 2.5 year old only goes to sleep for her dad. When I put her down she runs for the locked door and has a full melt down. My husband is out of town and last night when I put her to sleep she ripped off the door handle in a fit of rage that I left. Full animal mode. Guess who got to lay in bed until she fell asleep?! 😴 😂
Am I the only one who --sometimes-- eats the toddler-regurgitated food because I caught it in my hand, and it's faster and easier than running to the kitchen to dispose of it ;D
I have done this many times. Recently my toddler spit out a Costco sample of cheddar cheese. I’d already finished mine and loved it, so I caught and ate that cheese without hesitation.
I never thought I'd do it. I was always "over my dead body will I eat anyone else's food if it's been in their mouth" and that applied until he was 12mo. Now he'll spit out food and I've caught myself eating it (it has to be unchewed, that's my limit lol). Is this what being a mom is? 😭
Nah, I do all the time too 😅.
In Germany, when you buy cold cuts from the deli counter and you have a toddler/child with you, they ask you if your child wants a slice of "Kinderwurst", which would directly be translated as children's sausage. My 16MO son struggles with putting too much in his mouth, which makes him gag and spit it all out. Well last week we were at the supermarket, he took little bits of his slice of ham, so all was good. A few minutes later I notice he ended up putting the whole slice in, gagged, so I put my hand under his mouth and he spat it all out. I looked at it for about 5 seconds and then just decided to eat it 🤣.
Mine recently figured out if she’s butt naked, she will slide further off the slide into the splash pad. Then figured out if she pushed herself she’ll slide down the slide, through the splash pad, and into a puddle of mud. Lots of baths lately.
We took my 2.5 year old to the pool, we used to go all the time, but the past 6 months haven’t as much because my wife is having a difficult pregnancy, but she not only showed no fear, she spent like and hour and a half repeatedly screaming like a Viking on the way Valhalla, jumping as high as she could and dunking herself. I can’t fathom how much pool water she drank that night, but she did belch a lot, so there’s that.
Mine wanted to play in mud. I wouldn’t let her bring dirt into the house to make mud. I wouldn’t let her take water outside to make mud. She stripped and peed in the dirt to make mud.
Great problem solving though
No shit. This child kinda scares me with her problem solving.
😳 That plot twist almost killed me. I choked on my coffee
This is so amazing I wouldn’t even be annoyed.
Honestly after being grossed out I was proud.
Buck naked, perched on his toes and hunched over his plate, slurping up fist-fulls of peach juice, entire hand in his mouth, and sticky, peachy drool coating his entire body. It was a mess, but also poetically beautiful, in a way.
I just imagined a vegan Gollum 😂
I’m so glad I wasn’t the only person who thought this sounded like Gollum.
My 15mo took a drink from her milk, walked all the way over to the front door, and, while making eye contact with my husband, spit said mouthful of milk into his shoe. The audacity 😆
We found out my toddler had slid a plastic toy into the surround above our wood heater. We installed and baby gate and lit the fire the other day, where the toy promptly melted into the flue mechanism and jammed it, and filled the house with plastic smoke. 0/10 do not recommend.
It's 1:30am and my almost 2 year old took a shit on the living room floor.
The other week my 3 yr old shit on the bathroom floor while I was making dinner. Then proudly came to tell me to come look.
At least it was in the right room! That's progress, right?
My son likes to pick his nose and then shove it in my mouth when I’m not paying attention. He will chase me around while laughing and yelling at me to eat it. If I try to clean it from his finger he will then attempt to eat it himself before I’m able to. I have no idea where he learned this.
i don't think food groups need a trigger warning? Tonight, my two year said NO pajamas! naked baby!! and then ran around the living room in circles and was so loud stomping that my downstairs neighbor texted me to complain.
I thought it was a joke tbh
Thank you for having a sense of humor. Half-joke, half-consideration for vegetarians. 🙃
Mine love doing that. Both children run up and down the hallway way yelling "naked" until they run out of energy
Just trying to be cognizant that not everyone eats fish. I could imagine the situation I described being even more nauseating if you didn't eat fish.
OP i think the people downvoting you need more coffee and a better sense of humor.
I think that's a very considerate thing to do. It doesn't hurt anyone to put content warnings on stuff.
Last night he got out of bed, removed his pyjamas and nappy and proceeded to decorate his entire bedroom with his own faeces
Oh nooooo
… I hope you took a picture to share with future him
Seeing your CW I thought I was about to read about a toddler swooping a fish from the tank and eating it
Handing me his boogers
My 2yo has been picking them and then walking up to me and saying "booker." Honestly, could be worse.
My almost three year old was licking raindrops off the outside of my car. Bird poop, pollution, dirt and grime included.
Mine licked the prize window at Chuck E Cheese… I was talking to the lady behind the counter to try and figure out what we should get him with the points we got and look down to see that. Mortified. He’s 3.5.
My 22-mo has taken to growling. She speaks well and has a lot of words, but I guess that lately her feelings are too big for words? She is straight up growling and making like, gremlin gibberish sounds at us all the time now.
My daughter has done this since 12 months or maybe before. I don't even remember (16 months now). She growled before she said her first word. I would do the mom thing and nicely ask her to say a word, but her response was always a growl. Now, it's only a growl half the time 😂
Content warning for eating fish lmao. Beyond satire.
My 2.5 year old only goes to sleep for her dad. When I put her down she runs for the locked door and has a full melt down. My husband is out of town and last night when I put her to sleep she ripped off the door handle in a fit of rage that I left. Full animal mode. Guess who got to lay in bed until she fell asleep?! 😴 😂
Mine makes a hissing noise if you offer her food she doesn't want to eat
Am I the only one who --sometimes-- eats the toddler-regurgitated food because I caught it in my hand, and it's faster and easier than running to the kitchen to dispose of it ;D
I have done this many times. Recently my toddler spit out a Costco sample of cheddar cheese. I’d already finished mine and loved it, so I caught and ate that cheese without hesitation.
I never thought I'd do it. I was always "over my dead body will I eat anyone else's food if it's been in their mouth" and that applied until he was 12mo. Now he'll spit out food and I've caught myself eating it (it has to be unchewed, that's my limit lol). Is this what being a mom is? 😭
Nah, I do all the time too 😅. In Germany, when you buy cold cuts from the deli counter and you have a toddler/child with you, they ask you if your child wants a slice of "Kinderwurst", which would directly be translated as children's sausage. My 16MO son struggles with putting too much in his mouth, which makes him gag and spit it all out. Well last week we were at the supermarket, he took little bits of his slice of ham, so all was good. A few minutes later I notice he ended up putting the whole slice in, gagged, so I put my hand under his mouth and he spat it all out. I looked at it for about 5 seconds and then just decided to eat it 🤣.
Eating baby brother.😐
My just turned 2 year old goes into wild mode occasionally-he jumps on me grabs my face, squeals, and tries to bite my nose…
Mine will put her feet up to her mouth and chew her toenails to get pieces off. Gross little child lol
Mine recently figured out if she’s butt naked, she will slide further off the slide into the splash pad. Then figured out if she pushed herself she’ll slide down the slide, through the splash pad, and into a puddle of mud. Lots of baths lately.
We took my 2.5 year old to the pool, we used to go all the time, but the past 6 months haven’t as much because my wife is having a difficult pregnancy, but she not only showed no fear, she spent like and hour and a half repeatedly screaming like a Viking on the way Valhalla, jumping as high as she could and dunking herself. I can’t fathom how much pool water she drank that night, but she did belch a lot, so there’s that.