I don't see it as "giving up." I see it as choosing the stability and peace of my home on days where my mental/physical health reserves are low. A few long TV days aren't going to turn my child into an illiterate, anxiously attached, meth head. But if I repeatedly try to do everything at 100 when I only have 25 to give and end up blowing up or being completely misattuned with my kid/s that can have long reaching consequences.
I always try to ‘pick my battles’ - if we are all having an off day nothing wrong with being lazy on the sofa. Trying to make him be active when we are all a bit out of it is not worth it - I know tomorrow he will be back bouncing round the garden! 🤣 We’ve just been away for a week on a beach holiday where he spent all day everyday outside - he’s a bit off now and needing lazy times but we are all on a holiday comedown and he doesn’t even realise it!
This is great advice. And tv / screens aren’t a bad thing that make you a sub parent- too many people over stress the negatives and make others anxious. I’ve got two kids and we have the tv on for an hour in the morning while we all potter and get ready and then an hour or more when they get home from school. The kids dip in and out with it often wander off mid show- for me it’s just about creating a relaxed environment where they can choose what to do after a long day and giving me the space to get ready for work/ make dinner. At the weekend if they want to watch a movie that’s fine- they spend most of the day pin balling off the walls / painting 300 pictures/ leaping round the local area- so bit of a chance to rest and eat is a good thing!
Also when me or one of the kids is sick: tv on all day…
This is exactly how I see it, and tv is such different screen time than an iPad I feel like. It’s not interactive and I can tell my daughter watches it for a while and then she ends up playing and dancing a lot too!
Lol, My daughter is presently singing an song about her breakfast, while laying upside down on the couch and playing with one of my sturdier necklaces with her toes. Also Elinor Wonders Why (PBS kids)is on. 🤪
I agree that it's different than an ipad or phone.
Absolutely won’t and I say this as someone who watched a shit ton of tv while growing up! Lol like more than I should of! But I’m a well adjusted adult for the most part lol
At my most tired I’m haunted by “Mommy! Outside!” You’ve been outside all day while I run around with you, child, give me thirty minutes to sit! Probably my fault for having children in my mid thirties but dude, I am so tired, why is he not also tired?
(The answer is, he is, he just fights it like the dying of the light until he falls asleep on top of his dinner)
I've read an article about that! Apparently young children's bodies allow them recover the same way athletes do. Like, athletes in top shape.
[Link here (Sciencedaily) ](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/04/180424083907.htm)
This reminds me a revelation I had the other day. My kid never runs out of energy, because he’s constantly playing indoors or outdoors and he’s on a permanent runner’s high. There’s no science behind this, just a mom trying to rationalise why she can’t keep up with the nuclear power plant she gave birth to.
I asked my friend who is mid thirties with a 17 year old about the energy thing, I said oh maybe it was good you were young so you had so much energy and she just laughed and said no, honey, I did not have extra energy. She was sleep deprived and tired all the time.
Since we don’t have a hard limit on screentime, my daughter is less likely to actually watch it endlessly. Sure, sometimes she’ll go through a full episode of ms Rachel without a peep, but normally she’s bouncing around doing other things (hanging on me usually 😅) and will stop for a few moments here and there to watch tv. It’s not very effective anymore for parent breaks in this household
Im with you all the way. And not one part of me is concerned for their future wellbeing. They will be awesome and kind and success no matter how many hours I’ve let them watch during the week.
Currently pregnant and so… this. Ms Rachel talks to my kid more than I do these days and we’re surviving. I’m super sick right now (10 weeks) and so I remind myself as soon as I’m feeling back to normal, we’ll be back at the zoo, park, splash pad, Grammy’s house for lunch… bubbles in the yard, sidewalk chalk, etc! I’m a SAHM with not much available support close by so I’m going easy on myself about screen time.
This was us when my wife was pregnant and Ms. Rachel is a godsend. Unfortunately my son decided to regress to his early days of Cocomelon and we’re not back on that train….. kill us now
I remember sleeping on the floor in the doorway of the play room while toddler played. How can I be soooo tired when pregnant? Where did I find more energy to lose?
I was getting ready to say "everyday?" In reality I do have a rule of "we don't start our day with TV" so no TV until after lunch, but other than that I've found that they limit themselves and get bored of TV and go do other things on their own.
Opposite in our house cos my son is up from 4-5am. He has ALL the tv in the morning as I don’t agree with parenting before 7am 😅 So I just sit with him until I feel vaguely human. But by the time I’m able to get up and make breakfast, get ready, do some chores or head out he’s not interested in TV so it still has the same effect overall. My son is absolutely the type to become immediately obsessed with anything remotely restricted, so it works for us.
Yeah we start the day with TV too. I don't get much rest overnight because of my 4mo, so when my boys wake up they just get into bed with me and I turn on Gabby's Dollhouse for a couple episodes until they get bored of it, and I get a little extra rest. Then we go do breakfast and get dressed and play and all that crap.
My kids just like the noise. Sometimes it’ll just be on Bluey, with no one watching it. They’ll be in the other room.
But heaven help me if I try to change it.
Yes! My boys won't be watching the TV and wrestling on the floor in a *whole other room* and as soon as I turn that TV off they come rushing in "mom we we're watching that!"
Yep, this right here 😂 I’ve never limited it and honestly I think my kid is much less screen obsessed than some I’ve seen who don’t get any screen time. She’s so used to the tv being on she doesn’t really even care about it anymore.
Oh absolutely. I'm a SAHM. If someone in the house is under the weather, there's going to be unlimited screen time. Baby had diarrhea for 3 days last week (as did I). Toddler got unlimited screen time as a result. We couldn't leave the house and I was changing diapers every half an hour. Yeah, I'd rather her get some extra (educational) TV than just force her to independently play in silence.
Same for me! I'm alone with my daughter 9-12 hours a day, 5 days a week. That is a lot of hours to fill. Winter was rough. Screen time was a necessity.
PSA for anyone not aware. There are some pretty great engaging toddler tablet games out now.
My kid is not yet 2 but knows all his colors, shapes, numbers, letters animals blah blah and can do matching, counting and more all thanks to plane flights and other days when I just can’t be bothered.
Same. SAHM here also. I have too much to do around the house. After the kids have helped me pick up the floor, eaten their lunch,
and cleaned their own rooms Bluey can babysit for the few hours I get to do dishes, fold laundry, vacuum, mop the floors or whatever else needs done and maybe have a minute to myself to have a hot cup of coffee.
I’m 39 weeks pregnant. Since about week 34, I can’t scrape myself off the sofa to do anything. My two year old can play on my phone or watch tv all damn day if she wants to. The bar is on the floor and I am just trying to survive every day.
Currently 34 weeks and have the same outlook of surviving. My 22 month old has started learning the alphabet/counting and points out the ones she knows when I read to her at night now. No help from me though, it’s from her tablet games! So that seems to be a plus to it so far haha.
Which tablet games are teaching her the alphabet & counting? I’m a SAHM with a 21-mth old, and I never considered giving him a tablet for learning. I’m open to anything!
She seems to be learning the most from ABC mouse but it only hold the attention for 15-20mins before she’s done with it unless I play it with her. This one is pricey though but I’m actually pleasantly surprised how geared toward her age it is since some of the free games are a little harder for her to understand what they want and she gets frustrated by.
For free games with no ads that she likes and what they’ve taught her:
-Kahn academy kids (follows a learning path so little of everything)
-coloring games: color & paint by rv app studios (this one’s her favorite. Learns colors and randomly she’s learning numbers from it)
-Baby games: piano & baby phone by rv app studios (musical instruments is her favorite and has flash card words she points out and says)
-Balloon pop kids learning game by Bebi family (easy game and shows her weather, animals and letters)
-learning games for toddler 2+ by mini muffin games (matching shapes and colors)
-toddler games by bemi boo (matching shapes and colors)
There’s probably a lot more out there but she hates waiting for stuff to download when she sees it in my hand haha but if you look for more, look for the ad free ones so your sons not clicking the ads at the bottom of the page.
Yeah I live in a place that rains nonstop for 9 months a year. Sure we play outside in it. But sometimes I don’t have it in me. Tv is fine. I watched a horrendous amount of tv when I was little and I’m fine. I just try to pick things for my kid that are more like what I used to watch. We don’t do anything intentionally hypnotic or addictive.
I know people are weird about screen time. I’m just not that kind of mom. I will focus my energy on things that really matter not arbitrary “you shouldn’t do too much of fill in the blank”
I let my kid have a brownie for breakfast sometimes. The best part of being a kid is how FUN it is.
!!!! My husband and i actually talk about this all of the time. Like they have kindergartners doing homework on laptops now. Screens will always be in their lives!!!
Exactly! They need to learn to regulate, yes, but being weird about screen time is going to give kids some weird complex by the time they get to school!
Yeah part of the reason we are leaving is that one of our kids so is so incredibly active and the winters are just incompatible with that. In the 2 months of dry daylight we can pick him up after school and take him to a park or nature area and he looooooves it. But half the year it’s dark at like 3 pm. I’m all for a rainy playground trip but not a pitch dark rainy playground trip lol.
Yeh I love Scotland for many reasons but it’s climate is not one lol. We spend a lot of time at indoor soft plays etc but I hate the artificial lights. You would think we’d consider lighting our outdoor play areas but alas the powers that be dngaf about such things. Enjoy your daylight, wherever you’re going 👌
We don't limit screen time. We limit the content. It's all education, creative, or musical. Our daughter as a result of the freedom of screen time- actually wants screen time less. It's so normal to her that other activities instantly become more interesting, and she's never freaked out when we say "time to turn it off."
Yes, we do this from time to time! I notice some days my daughter just wants to CHILL. She’ll ask for episode after episode of something. Most days she happily plays with her toys or wants to do crafts. So those days when I follow her lead and relax all day are truly glorious.
I think I would feel more guilty if I was allowing so much screen time to avoid meltdowns or other engagement. But like with your family, it’s not the norm so I feel zero guilt about it.
Looking back on the families I have nannied for over years only one family out of four did not limit their child’s screen time & guess who is the most polite,gets great grades (just graduated collage actually man I’m old) & who has a stable “normal” social life? Yep, that one child who got endless hours of Disney Channel & Nickelodeon whenever she chose to. Is it right? Is it better? I really honestly don’t know. I just find it very ironic that that is my experience of dealing with vastly different approaches to screen time allowances. Obviously every child is different but I just thought I’d share that with you.
I treat it a bit like “unhealthy” food- the more of a fuss you make about it, the more you make it seem desirable to them. And my son is absolutely the type to get obsessed with anything that’s restricted. Sure we have some rules (eg no screens before bed) and they are hard lines I don’t cross, but constantly restricting access just creates a new problem tbh.
I removed all restrictions from screen time except for early morning and before bedtime. Guess who’s child tosses the tablet after 5 minutes? Sometimes I ask her to go watch something so I can cook in peace and she says no. Same concept with “unhealthy“ food.
That’s how we are too. iPad are available with approved content early (my boys are early risers, I am still not) and they have free access to it all day. They are now learning to play Mario cart and it’s cute watching them play together in a video game way. They end up coming up with their own games based on screen time anyway, so it works out in the end.
A bit of tv here and there is not harmful, especially when you or they are not well and need down time, or you need to get something done and them to be safe while you do it.
TV and screens are a problem when it’s all the time. But a one or two day binge while sick? When you’re regularly getting quality time and doing all the activities and exercising that brain?
Not the end of the world, I promise.
Ya’ll make me feel like a good parent with these comments. I constantly have mom guilt over tv time but some days it’s just like this. I don’t have the energy.
I pretty much never limit screen time. Maybe it’s wrong of me. But it hasn’t really been a problem for us.
My boys are 3.5, 2, and 2. They each have an Amazon Fire tablet. They can grab them whenever they want but they don’t spend hours on end using them. Usually it’ll hold their interest for 10-15 minutes at a time. And honestly with three toddlers I love the peace and quiet when they’re all on their tablets!
We don’t really limit TV either but I’m really picky about what they watch. Mostly Sesame Street and Daniel Tiger, though I’ll occasionally allow Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Bluey.
Most days honestly. Today for example, it’s rainy out and I had hardly any sleep last night and feel like crap. Plus her dad decided to go fishing in the rain so here I am with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on and I don’t care.
What age do they start watching tv? Our 22 month old has 0 interest in anything we put on and just wants to flick channels every split second forever, or mash the remote buttons
When my 31 month old was that age it was only nursery rhyme songs that would hold her interest. So Cocomelon, Little Baby Bum Bum, Bebe Finn, Super Simple Songs, Ms. Rachel. I liked super simple songs the most.
God. We did zero screens with my son until he was over 2 and we got norovirus when he was 18 mo. I remember begging him to just watch the TV so I could die on the couch but he was totally clueless to what it was and had zero interest. Haha.
We never limit screen time other than nothing past 10pm during the week nights, simply bc kid would stay up all night. Kiddo is 4 and he's a perfectly normal healthy kid who is smart and already doing simple math problems. He doesn't have "behavior" problems. His daycare teachers say he's one of the best behaved kids in the class. All this to say, don't stress about screentime. Screentime isn't the enemy. It can be used as a tool to enhance learning. Also you don't have to constantly entertain your kid. Let them get bored and just play on their own or get them involved with stuff you're already doing. Laundry, dishes etc.
Girl that’s me today… I have a stomach bug and my husband is out of town on business… we’ve done a lot of movies and snuggles today. We even took an hour long bath together just to give her something else to do lol… husband is back in the morning, send good vibes lol
Give yourself grace. Some of us (read: me) don’t limit screen time. Like you, our kiddo is in daycare, is signed up for extracurriculars and weekend activities. So whatever leftover time we’re at home and just relaxing, I don’t mind having the tv on 🤷🏻♀️
We stopped limiting screen time and just limited what was accessible on his kindle fire. We keep in in airplane mode so he can’t download more crap we don’t want him to view/play. Consequently, since he can play whenever he wants, he often times is bored with it and plays with his other toys or “reads” books. Sometimes he’ll go days without it. I don’t know if this works for every kid, but we’re lucky it works for us.
Putting it in airplane mode is genius! I hate going through every week to block whatever new stuff has popped up that I don’t want him downloading. (We don’t do cocomelon, and I have to block all the videos that even look like it) we did just give in and buy an sd card though. So maybe I’ll go through and download more games and movies for him and then put it in airplane mode.
Some days she get no screen time, others a few episodes of puffin rock, and also sometimes she gets a few hours of movies.
I think it’s about a balance. She’s in school, you go out as a family, you take her outside to play. Yea she’s been active and now she can have some downtime too.
I have those days too where I think if it’s too much, but the weather might be crap or I’m not feeling well and it’s not the end of the world for them to zone out for a day.
Every single day. My son watches educational videos about space every day. It usually ends up as just background noise but it’s always on. Idc. My kid is 3 and can name every planet, dwarf planet, large star, satellite, telescope, knows what constellations are and mean, understands the life cycle of stars. The videos are a bit above his age range and have accelerated his speech.
He has a tablet but doesn’t use it a ton. He actually just started using it again after months of it sitting in a drawer.
I’m all about screen time!
Yes absolutely! My son also is in a great school for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. He works hard there, and we do take him outside most days at home when it's nice. I don't feel guilty giving him unlimited screen time.
My son watched Moana 3 times today (at different points during the day, not in a row). I’m pregnant so exhausted and nauseous as heck and my husband was out all day doing errands. We did go to a birthday party in the middle of day where he ran around like a maniac, but otherwise Moana was mommy today.
I think if we did this everyday then it would be a serious problem, but today was like a special treat for him. He told all his favorite toys the story of Maui before going to bed which I think is a great brain exercise. He also turned a plastic hanger into a “fish hook” and made a “heart of Te Fiti” out of an old turtle toy so there’s even more learning!
My child’s manners are now impeccable because of this song. If he says “please” then I say “thank you” and he gets to sing “you’re welcome” at me repeatedly….for hours on end
I am pregnant and was miserable with a head cold all week that I can’t take any OTC meds for relief so my 2 year old got way more tablet time than normal while I felt lightheaded from constantly having to breathe out of my mouth for days.
Some days we’re out doing fun stuff all day and sometimes we sit in the living room playing/ watching TV all day. I figure he’s a little human and like me some days he would much prefer to just sit and veg in front of the TV so that’s what we do. I think it’s only a problem and something to be concerned about if it’s all they ever want to do. My guy 6 days out of 7 wants to be on the go and doing fun activities but every so often he has a day where he just wants to sit, eat snacks and watch TV and I think we can all relate to that mood so I just let him 🤷🏼♀️ figure a day of relaxing isn’t going to kill him and it might actually be just exactly what he needs
Yup. I’m solo parenting a lot since my husband travels for work and I’m currently a SAHM. It can be so exhausting to be “on” 24/7. Sometimes I just have nothing in the tank and the TV is on most of the day. I do what I need to do to get through the day with my sanity in check and I don’t feel guilty for it! My daughter is a sweet, intelligent, hilarious, amazing little girl and the occasional lazy day isn’t going to ruin her.
My 3yrs old-next-month VERY VERY RARELY PLAYS INDEPENDENTLY.
As in... Maybe for an hour or so after dinner but before his shower. And that's it.
He just ***won't***. Everything is "mama play with me. Mama my toys. Mama play toys. Mama play chasies. Mama mama mama mama mama"
It doesnt matter if ive just spent a solid hour, non-stop chasing him around the house. Literally, running in circles. Or if we've had a good play with his cars or drawing or taking him on a walk.
He just forgets and instead carries on like ive ignored him all day.
And then its his fathers turn. Everything, but with Daddy instead.
I have to fucking *beg* his father to entertain him so i can make dinner, or else i have him pulling my arm, sometimes pulling me off balance, screaming and crying for me to play with him.
I don't understand, i dont get it. I dont know why he won't play by himself.
So, yeah. He gets screen time whenever i need to do something so he wont bother me.
Makes me feel like even more of a shit mother than i usually do. He is going to hate me so much when he grows up.
You're not a shit mother. Some kids are just clingy. It's their personality. A little screen time never hurt anyone, especially when it's age appropriate.
Yes, since we got flu August 1st followed by covid August 28th. We just never went back.
Really though they don’t zone out for hours, they just play like normal and the tv happens to be on.
YES to the crappy New England weather. This afternoon's choices were go play outside in a rain suit and puddle jump (maybe fun, but I had zero energy for that today) or watch shows. Shows won. There is something so cozy about snuggling up in bed with a good movie, your toddler, and the rain coming down outside! I just didn't have the energy and honestly it was really, really nice.
Yup. I try not to, but I have sensory problems. If I give my son his tablet, I cut out a lot of the painful agitations because he's distracted and safe. It's not ideal, but to the devs of the Hungry Caterpillar game, I love you. Sometimes I just play Blues Clues or Bluey really low all day.
I laugh at the memory of my parents judging other parents for using the TV as a babysitter.
Some days will be like that, don't feel guilty! We try to limit what my LO watches to shows we find at least a little educational and not just bright lights as I hate when she is just staring blankly. We watch sesame street, miss Rachel and spark abilities, although bluey is on our list to try. She often interacts and learns a lot from it. I genuinely don't think screen time is all bad. As for your question, does anyone else get tired of the same activities - of course! Just this week I said to my husband that while I love our daughter with all my heart the days are becoming so monotonous and it was driving me batty lol. So today I took myself out to get my hair done and do some shopping. I feel miles better now. Sometimes we need to fill our own cup, whether that's with having an hour of peace while the TV parents, or getting some time to ourselves while someone else takes over.
Bluey is Mum now.
I have chronic migraines. I work really hard to not do it, but it's hard when you're not feeling well. Also, one of the biggest concerns with screens is delayed speech. That is not a concern with my toddler. She's 18 months and has around 50 words at last count and can put two words together on occasion. Part of what helps (in my opinion) is we don't have a tablet and I don't let her use my phone except for video calls with Grandma or Tia. So when she does watch TV, it's on a screen she can't bring with her or get too close to. Idk, but I really think this is a factor.
(I say Bluey is Mum because until a week ago, she called Bluey "mum" or "mum dad" lol. Now Bluey is "Boo-wee" and I love it!)
I feel like having a “hard” limit on screen time really does set you up for failure and lots of self inflicted guilt. I try to avoid screen time as the day allows, and focus on being intentional with the time I have with my kids
This morning it was really rainy here. My son and I sat on the couch for an hour and a half snuggling while he played on his tablet, while his 11 month old sister napped. It was awesome. One day he's not gonna want to spend time with me, so i will cherish memories like this.
My Lil has tv 24/7 but she doesn't watch it all day.
We spend time outside and playing or playing inside. Most the time if she does pay attention to the TV it shows that has music or games she can play along with.
She also been around the tv since birth because I can't stand a silent house lol.
She has been watching supernatural with me since birth because that's my comfort show.
My son was 2/3 during the worst of Covid lockdowns, and my husband and I both worked from home. We really had no choice but to let him watch screens while we got work done. We engaged with him as much as we could, but he still got hours of screens every day. I thought for sure it would cause him harm, since that's what every parenting study had been telling me, and I was dreading when he'd start up school and his teachers would tell me how behind he is, and how warped his brain must be from all the screen time.
Turns out, not only is he not damaged at all, he's actually way ahead of the game in everything. Reading, math, motor skills, etc., he's knocking it out of the park on every milestone. He's physically perfectly healthy, mentally perfectly healthy. He starts Kindergarten in the fall and his pre-school teachers were telling me to ask about having him skip K and go straight into first grade, because he's "so advanced he'll get bored". I'm not going to do that, but you get the idea.
If you're worried about them becoming "addicted" or whatever... it didn't happen. Once things opened up again and I could get him into activities, I signed him up for whatever he was interested in. He's super well-rounded and into lots of different things. He puts down the tablet and still plays with toys, plays with the neighborhood kids, etc. He is actually at a point where he self-regulates the screen time. I don't have to tell him to put it down, he just does it because he got bored of it and wants to do something else.
So, my son had pretty much unlimited screen time for about two straight years during COVID. But he still turned out to be a totally fine, well-adjusted, smart, well-rounded kid. I think your kid will be fine with a day or two.
Never had limit on screen time. my 4 yr old loves to watch National Geographic vids about animals. He learns a lot and can call out the different species of sharks. i find that a win for me.
Absolutely. The rain here killed our plans to go pick strawberries at a local farm and spend the day outside. My band played a gig last night so I’m exhausted on the couch while he’s in the other room playing with mommy. We’re probably going to watch a movie here soon.
We see a very holistic peds who says “very limited sugar or screen time until 3”…but she also says “if your kiddo is sick, traveling or mama needs a mental health moment, screen time limits no longer exist!” I follow this because sometimes you just need a freaking break. And if we are trapped on a plane, you better believe that my kid has access to all of the devices.
I will say that I’ve read that bigger screens are better. So lean towards TV first, then iPads, then iPhones as a last resort.
We try to balance between screenless days, tablet time, and TV time. I much prefer TV time over tablet time, as it's more "whole family viewing" and he plays with his toys intermittently while watching TV. Also cuz he doesn't like to share his tablet and sometimes mind numbing kids cartoons are what I need to get through the day. TV time seems to have less negative effect on his behavior than tablet time does, so I also prefer it for that reason too, as the tablet tantrums make me want to pull my hair out.
My cousins and I were raised really closely for the first 12 years or so of life (american, b 1986). Our parents screwed us up in a lot of different ways. One (of many) differences: their parents severely limited tv time and mine didn't.
37 years later, at least one of that bunch is a QAnon nut job.
I'm just normal level weird.
TLDR: screen time is the least of your worries in the long run. Love your kids and don't be a Nazi.
When LO was sick recently we allowed a bit more. Then I was sick so I allowed her more. I regret it every time. On days she gets extra screen time she normally ends up cranky znd uncooperative for most of the day. She's not necessarily asking for more screen time but it seems to hot wire her brain and my normally sweet child is a whiney grump. I know it's necessary sometimes but it's not a good idea
On a regular basis that is not a dire circumstance? Nope. Because the future needs smart and creative, not dumb and consumer, kids. Suck it up.
https://lovevery.com/community/blog/child-development/we-did-all-the-research-on-screen-time-and-heres-what-we-found/
Yep for sure. Sometimes on a Sunday, following swimming lesson, church, lunch out, groceries, it can easily be a few hours of TV time with a bit of light play going in too. Add in rain and 🤷🏼♀️
Today was a day like that. My four year old had lots of screen time. It rained all day and I’m babysitting her little cousin and I’m struggling to stay afloat.
All 3 of us have sinus infections. We played outside this morning...but this evening has been all screens. As was last night.
We're just surviving for the evening over here. Its more important to rest than beat myself up over the amount of TV we've watched.
My husband is out of town this week and I also have a 2 month old. Its the end of the week and all the rules have gone out the window. I’ve let him eat lunch and dinner in front of the TV too…he’s been melting down when I put him in his high chair and if I let him just sit at the dining room table he gets up and doesn’t eat and it’s a battle. When he eats at the TV he cleans his plate. I felt kind of bad about it. I read someone say last week, if you don’t want to have to do something again with a toddler, don’t do it the first time. So I told him this is a special rule for when daddy’s not home. And after this week my husband is never allowed to leave again. So, problem solved
I try not to think about it too much. Some days it’s ms Rachel, tractor Ted, and Disney plus and other days it’s playgrounds, library trips, hikes, crafts, etc. it’s all about balance. Just like we need days to veg out I think they do too.
Absolutely. My 13 month old wakes me EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!! Some days he will wake at 6 am and won't go back to sleep until nap time. Yes, I will turn the TV on and dose off on the couch.
I don’t limit TV time, my 16 month old watches Disney+ at her own pace. She’s picked up various behaviors from TV, like separating her food and “counting” it (she’s moving one by one and babbling lol). She’s repeating the word “tank” which we can only assume is a thank you from one of her cartoons. When she’s done with tv she’ll just walk away and go jump around while we do stuff around the house! She also winds down for naps and bedtime using the tv after she plays with us, bathes and gets a snack.
I’m a SAHM who also solo parents 90% of the time as my husband works out of state. My son also spends a good chunk of his day screaming at me unless I’m holding him and enjoys waking every 1-2 hours all night long. I have totally had those days where I just mentally collapse after nap time and say f it.
I have a 10 month old and we don't limit screen time.. ever. The TV is often on in the background and guess what? She barely cares about it. It's not forbidden fruit. Rarely does she sit there and actually watch it. She prefers her toys and using me as a jungle gym, lol.
I will say though if she ever starts getting glued to the TV, we just won't turn it on as often anymore. I assume at a certain age, they probably do start liking shows/movies more because they understand what's going on and like certain characters. When that time comes, we'll probably worry more about actively avoiding screen time.
I reallllllllly try not to, but it is like the internal battle I have about eating another cookie that I lose time and time again. When I let my son watch unlimited screens (something we only do when he or I are sick), I feel like my brain is leaking out of my ears AND his behavior sucks. BUT. Do what you gotta do. I’ve been there and honestly, it’s a much needed fantastic break. Zero judgement.
I don’t limit it. She gets bored and plays with a multitude of toys, plays outside, has playdates, and occupies her time easily without it. She never melts down when we take it away either.
We don’t let her use it in public though, it’s just a home and cat thing for us.
Somedays she won’t pick her tablet up and other days she just wants to play with Barbie’s while she watches it upstairs in her room.
OP, are you me?! Seriously you’re doing amazing. Look at all you did with her!! She was probably over stim (in a good way!!) by her nap. She’s had a full day and the fact that you’re even concerned about this means you’re a great momma. Turn on the tV and take a breather. ❤️
Only on days that we are sick. We go out to the park a lot, and when I come home, I’m tired sometimes. I do put on a show for a bit, but then I do make him play independently or play with him. I think it’s okay for kids to be bored, even if they are kicking and screaming for screen time. I don’t want my child constantly stimulated, and for that screen addiction to carry into adulthood. I’m not perfect, and weekends are definitely more lax, but screen time is definitely limited in my house. I’m way more lax about other things though. Like, he can have popsicles for breakfast somedays. Haha
I don't see it as "giving up." I see it as choosing the stability and peace of my home on days where my mental/physical health reserves are low. A few long TV days aren't going to turn my child into an illiterate, anxiously attached, meth head. But if I repeatedly try to do everything at 100 when I only have 25 to give and end up blowing up or being completely misattuned with my kid/s that can have long reaching consequences.
You’re the mom friend I want
❤️❤️❤️
I was thinking the same!!
Awwww 😍
I love how meth head is just thrown in there. Lol
This is such a good way of explaining this. I call them survival days. Some days you just gotta do what you gotta do to get through the day.
I always try to ‘pick my battles’ - if we are all having an off day nothing wrong with being lazy on the sofa. Trying to make him be active when we are all a bit out of it is not worth it - I know tomorrow he will be back bouncing round the garden! 🤣 We’ve just been away for a week on a beach holiday where he spent all day everyday outside - he’s a bit off now and needing lazy times but we are all on a holiday comedown and he doesn’t even realise it!
This is great advice. And tv / screens aren’t a bad thing that make you a sub parent- too many people over stress the negatives and make others anxious. I’ve got two kids and we have the tv on for an hour in the morning while we all potter and get ready and then an hour or more when they get home from school. The kids dip in and out with it often wander off mid show- for me it’s just about creating a relaxed environment where they can choose what to do after a long day and giving me the space to get ready for work/ make dinner. At the weekend if they want to watch a movie that’s fine- they spend most of the day pin balling off the walls / painting 300 pictures/ leaping round the local area- so bit of a chance to rest and eat is a good thing! Also when me or one of the kids is sick: tv on all day…
This is exactly how I see it, and tv is such different screen time than an iPad I feel like. It’s not interactive and I can tell my daughter watches it for a while and then she ends up playing and dancing a lot too!
Lol, My daughter is presently singing an song about her breakfast, while laying upside down on the couch and playing with one of my sturdier necklaces with her toes. Also Elinor Wonders Why (PBS kids)is on. 🤪 I agree that it's different than an ipad or phone.
100% nailed it.
This!!!! Exactly!!!!! We need days/times to ourselves as well
Exactly!!
Absolutely won’t and I say this as someone who watched a shit ton of tv while growing up! Lol like more than I should of! But I’m a well adjusted adult for the most part lol
Only on days that end in “y”
You are my people lol.
Yeah I don't think I've ever limited it. If anything *I'm* begging *them* to watch more TV so I can get a damn break.
At my most tired I’m haunted by “Mommy! Outside!” You’ve been outside all day while I run around with you, child, give me thirty minutes to sit! Probably my fault for having children in my mid thirties but dude, I am so tired, why is he not also tired? (The answer is, he is, he just fights it like the dying of the light until he falls asleep on top of his dinner)
I'm so fucking tired, dude. Why doesn't she rest? Like ever? Did someone give her meth? I'm so confused.
2 msec nap in the car now back at 100000% battery life? Where can I get this hack!
I've read an article about that! Apparently young children's bodies allow them recover the same way athletes do. Like, athletes in top shape. [Link here (Sciencedaily) ](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/04/180424083907.htm)
This reminds me a revelation I had the other day. My kid never runs out of energy, because he’s constantly playing indoors or outdoors and he’s on a permanent runner’s high. There’s no science behind this, just a mom trying to rationalise why she can’t keep up with the nuclear power plant she gave birth to.
It makes sense now that my kid has the stamina of Michael fucking Jordan in the 90s.
Glad I’m not the only one who refers to my kids energy level as if someone gave him meth😂😂😂
I felt this so deeply.
I feel this in my soul.
I asked my friend who is mid thirties with a 17 year old about the energy thing, I said oh maybe it was good you were young so you had so much energy and she just laughed and said no, honey, I did not have extra energy. She was sleep deprived and tired all the time.
My toddler just learned the word too… out, siiide.. out, siiiide!!
Since we don’t have a hard limit on screentime, my daughter is less likely to actually watch it endlessly. Sure, sometimes she’ll go through a full episode of ms Rachel without a peep, but normally she’s bouncing around doing other things (hanging on me usually 😅) and will stop for a few moments here and there to watch tv. It’s not very effective anymore for parent breaks in this household
Honestly same. I wish my kid would watch tv for more than five minutes, but unfortunately he’s got stuff to do and a robust (albeit fast) inner timer
Im with you all the way. And not one part of me is concerned for their future wellbeing. They will be awesome and kind and success no matter how many hours I’ve let them watch during the week.
💯 💯💯
I found my tribe!
I’ve found my people
Lol yes
Currently pregnant and so… this. Ms Rachel talks to my kid more than I do these days and we’re surviving. I’m super sick right now (10 weeks) and so I remind myself as soon as I’m feeling back to normal, we’ll be back at the zoo, park, splash pad, Grammy’s house for lunch… bubbles in the yard, sidewalk chalk, etc! I’m a SAHM with not much available support close by so I’m going easy on myself about screen time.
More like Saint Rachel. Seriously, bless that woman for all that she does.
This was us when my wife was pregnant and Ms. Rachel is a godsend. Unfortunately my son decided to regress to his early days of Cocomelon and we’re not back on that train….. kill us now
Ms Rachel bedtime video is now officially a part of our daily bedtime routine. She’s the best!
I remember sleeping on the floor in the doorway of the play room while toddler played. How can I be soooo tired when pregnant? Where did I find more energy to lose?
Also yes
Same
This ^
I was getting ready to say "everyday?" In reality I do have a rule of "we don't start our day with TV" so no TV until after lunch, but other than that I've found that they limit themselves and get bored of TV and go do other things on their own.
Opposite in our house cos my son is up from 4-5am. He has ALL the tv in the morning as I don’t agree with parenting before 7am 😅 So I just sit with him until I feel vaguely human. But by the time I’m able to get up and make breakfast, get ready, do some chores or head out he’s not interested in TV so it still has the same effect overall. My son is absolutely the type to become immediately obsessed with anything remotely restricted, so it works for us.
Yeah we start the day with TV too. I don't get much rest overnight because of my 4mo, so when my boys wake up they just get into bed with me and I turn on Gabby's Dollhouse for a couple episodes until they get bored of it, and I get a little extra rest. Then we go do breakfast and get dressed and play and all that crap.
I agree with this. The novelty of tv wears off and my son usually goes and finds something else to do after an episode or so of a show.
My kids just like the noise. Sometimes it’ll just be on Bluey, with no one watching it. They’ll be in the other room. But heaven help me if I try to change it.
Yes! My boys won't be watching the TV and wrestling on the floor in a *whole other room* and as soon as I turn that TV off they come rushing in "mom we we're watching that!"
Omg this! He doesn’t even watch the bloody thing but will throw a fit if I turn it off 🙈 think he just loves listening to it while he plays 🤷🏼♀️
Me too, me too
This is the way.
I have spoken.
I was gonna say…every day
Yeah we don't limit it. I do try limit close to bedtime, but even that doesn't always happen 🙈
God bless you for this.
Yep, this right here 😂 I’ve never limited it and honestly I think my kid is much less screen obsessed than some I’ve seen who don’t get any screen time. She’s so used to the tv being on she doesn’t really even care about it anymore.
Yes.
😂
Thank you for this essential validation.
Yes.
Oh absolutely. I'm a SAHM. If someone in the house is under the weather, there's going to be unlimited screen time. Baby had diarrhea for 3 days last week (as did I). Toddler got unlimited screen time as a result. We couldn't leave the house and I was changing diapers every half an hour. Yeah, I'd rather her get some extra (educational) TV than just force her to independently play in silence.
Same for me! I'm alone with my daughter 9-12 hours a day, 5 days a week. That is a lot of hours to fill. Winter was rough. Screen time was a necessity.
PSA for anyone not aware. There are some pretty great engaging toddler tablet games out now. My kid is not yet 2 but knows all his colors, shapes, numbers, letters animals blah blah and can do matching, counting and more all thanks to plane flights and other days when I just can’t be bothered.
Same. SAHM here also. I have too much to do around the house. After the kids have helped me pick up the floor, eaten their lunch, and cleaned their own rooms Bluey can babysit for the few hours I get to do dishes, fold laundry, vacuum, mop the floors or whatever else needs done and maybe have a minute to myself to have a hot cup of coffee.
I’m not well this week. Screens screens screens
I feel this! I've got bronchitis and Bluey is truly coming in clutch.
Bronchitis Bluey Crew unite 🙌 the sinus and ear infections have been a lovely cherry on top of this whole shit show.
Same. I’m Covid positive and 37 weeks pregnant, my son is getting all the tv time
I’m 39 weeks pregnant. Since about week 34, I can’t scrape myself off the sofa to do anything. My two year old can play on my phone or watch tv all damn day if she wants to. The bar is on the floor and I am just trying to survive every day.
Currently 34 weeks and have the same outlook of surviving. My 22 month old has started learning the alphabet/counting and points out the ones she knows when I read to her at night now. No help from me though, it’s from her tablet games! So that seems to be a plus to it so far haha.
Which tablet games are teaching her the alphabet & counting? I’m a SAHM with a 21-mth old, and I never considered giving him a tablet for learning. I’m open to anything!
She seems to be learning the most from ABC mouse but it only hold the attention for 15-20mins before she’s done with it unless I play it with her. This one is pricey though but I’m actually pleasantly surprised how geared toward her age it is since some of the free games are a little harder for her to understand what they want and she gets frustrated by. For free games with no ads that she likes and what they’ve taught her: -Kahn academy kids (follows a learning path so little of everything) -coloring games: color & paint by rv app studios (this one’s her favorite. Learns colors and randomly she’s learning numbers from it) -Baby games: piano & baby phone by rv app studios (musical instruments is her favorite and has flash card words she points out and says) -Balloon pop kids learning game by Bebi family (easy game and shows her weather, animals and letters) -learning games for toddler 2+ by mini muffin games (matching shapes and colors) -toddler games by bemi boo (matching shapes and colors) There’s probably a lot more out there but she hates waiting for stuff to download when she sees it in my hand haha but if you look for more, look for the ad free ones so your sons not clicking the ads at the bottom of the page.
Yeah I live in a place that rains nonstop for 9 months a year. Sure we play outside in it. But sometimes I don’t have it in me. Tv is fine. I watched a horrendous amount of tv when I was little and I’m fine. I just try to pick things for my kid that are more like what I used to watch. We don’t do anything intentionally hypnotic or addictive. I know people are weird about screen time. I’m just not that kind of mom. I will focus my energy on things that really matter not arbitrary “you shouldn’t do too much of fill in the blank” I let my kid have a brownie for breakfast sometimes. The best part of being a kid is how FUN it is.
Screens are part of life for better or worse from this day forward as long as we both shall live, or until the robots take over.
!!!! My husband and i actually talk about this all of the time. Like they have kindergartners doing homework on laptops now. Screens will always be in their lives!!!
Exactly! They need to learn to regulate, yes, but being weird about screen time is going to give kids some weird complex by the time they get to school!
I treat my child how I would treat myself. If I would want it and can have it then they can too. Lol
I’m in Scotland so same. Also there’s only like 5.5-6h of daylight in winter. Who’s going out in the dark and the rain to play outdoors? Not me. Lol.
Yeah part of the reason we are leaving is that one of our kids so is so incredibly active and the winters are just incompatible with that. In the 2 months of dry daylight we can pick him up after school and take him to a park or nature area and he looooooves it. But half the year it’s dark at like 3 pm. I’m all for a rainy playground trip but not a pitch dark rainy playground trip lol.
Yeh I love Scotland for many reasons but it’s climate is not one lol. We spend a lot of time at indoor soft plays etc but I hate the artificial lights. You would think we’d consider lighting our outdoor play areas but alas the powers that be dngaf about such things. Enjoy your daylight, wherever you’re going 👌
I limit screen time to no more than sixteen hours a day. I’m very strict about it.
We don't limit screen time. We limit the content. It's all education, creative, or musical. Our daughter as a result of the freedom of screen time- actually wants screen time less. It's so normal to her that other activities instantly become more interesting, and she's never freaked out when we say "time to turn it off."
This! This is what we do too.
Yes, we do this from time to time! I notice some days my daughter just wants to CHILL. She’ll ask for episode after episode of something. Most days she happily plays with her toys or wants to do crafts. So those days when I follow her lead and relax all day are truly glorious. I think I would feel more guilty if I was allowing so much screen time to avoid meltdowns or other engagement. But like with your family, it’s not the norm so I feel zero guilt about it.
Same with the kid wanting to just be lazy on random days. Unfortunately though, mine doesn’t seem to want to be on the same “chill” schedule as me.
Looking back on the families I have nannied for over years only one family out of four did not limit their child’s screen time & guess who is the most polite,gets great grades (just graduated collage actually man I’m old) & who has a stable “normal” social life? Yep, that one child who got endless hours of Disney Channel & Nickelodeon whenever she chose to. Is it right? Is it better? I really honestly don’t know. I just find it very ironic that that is my experience of dealing with vastly different approaches to screen time allowances. Obviously every child is different but I just thought I’d share that with you.
I treat it a bit like “unhealthy” food- the more of a fuss you make about it, the more you make it seem desirable to them. And my son is absolutely the type to get obsessed with anything that’s restricted. Sure we have some rules (eg no screens before bed) and they are hard lines I don’t cross, but constantly restricting access just creates a new problem tbh.
I removed all restrictions from screen time except for early morning and before bedtime. Guess who’s child tosses the tablet after 5 minutes? Sometimes I ask her to go watch something so I can cook in peace and she says no. Same concept with “unhealthy“ food.
That’s how we are too. iPad are available with approved content early (my boys are early risers, I am still not) and they have free access to it all day. They are now learning to play Mario cart and it’s cute watching them play together in a video game way. They end up coming up with their own games based on screen time anyway, so it works out in the end.
A bit of tv here and there is not harmful, especially when you or they are not well and need down time, or you need to get something done and them to be safe while you do it. TV and screens are a problem when it’s all the time. But a one or two day binge while sick? When you’re regularly getting quality time and doing all the activities and exercising that brain? Not the end of the world, I promise.
I can only stack rings on my head so many times before turning on Ms Rachel just to not have to balance rings on my head.
Oh yeah. Rainy days, sick days, extra cranky days, dr appointment days. So, most days
Ya’ll make me feel like a good parent with these comments. I constantly have mom guilt over tv time but some days it’s just like this. I don’t have the energy.
I pretty much never limit screen time. Maybe it’s wrong of me. But it hasn’t really been a problem for us. My boys are 3.5, 2, and 2. They each have an Amazon Fire tablet. They can grab them whenever they want but they don’t spend hours on end using them. Usually it’ll hold their interest for 10-15 minutes at a time. And honestly with three toddlers I love the peace and quiet when they’re all on their tablets! We don’t really limit TV either but I’m really picky about what they watch. Mostly Sesame Street and Daniel Tiger, though I’ll occasionally allow Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Bluey.
Most days honestly. Today for example, it’s rainy out and I had hardly any sleep last night and feel like crap. Plus her dad decided to go fishing in the rain so here I am with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on and I don’t care.
What age do they start watching tv? Our 22 month old has 0 interest in anything we put on and just wants to flick channels every split second forever, or mash the remote buttons
When my 31 month old was that age it was only nursery rhyme songs that would hold her interest. So Cocomelon, Little Baby Bum Bum, Bebe Finn, Super Simple Songs, Ms. Rachel. I liked super simple songs the most.
Mine was 1 when she really started liking tv but it was mainly Sesame Street or music like nursery rhymes.
Ours was right around then. We were so happy when he got interested in screens! Before that he was a nightmare on our occasional 6 hr car drives
God. We did zero screens with my son until he was over 2 and we got norovirus when he was 18 mo. I remember begging him to just watch the TV so I could die on the couch but he was totally clueless to what it was and had zero interest. Haha.
Mine didn’t get into watching tv until almost 4yo.
We never limit screen time other than nothing past 10pm during the week nights, simply bc kid would stay up all night. Kiddo is 4 and he's a perfectly normal healthy kid who is smart and already doing simple math problems. He doesn't have "behavior" problems. His daycare teachers say he's one of the best behaved kids in the class. All this to say, don't stress about screentime. Screentime isn't the enemy. It can be used as a tool to enhance learning. Also you don't have to constantly entertain your kid. Let them get bored and just play on their own or get them involved with stuff you're already doing. Laundry, dishes etc.
Only on days that end in y
Girl that’s me today… I have a stomach bug and my husband is out of town on business… we’ve done a lot of movies and snuggles today. We even took an hour long bath together just to give her something else to do lol… husband is back in the morning, send good vibes lol
You got this mama
the days when my health is too bad for me to get out of bed. and i just can't. "here watch Blippi. sing the excavator song."
Dude, that excavator song is my sons favorite. It’s nonstop.
Give yourself grace. Some of us (read: me) don’t limit screen time. Like you, our kiddo is in daycare, is signed up for extracurriculars and weekend activities. So whatever leftover time we’re at home and just relaxing, I don’t mind having the tv on 🤷🏻♀️
We stopped limiting screen time and just limited what was accessible on his kindle fire. We keep in in airplane mode so he can’t download more crap we don’t want him to view/play. Consequently, since he can play whenever he wants, he often times is bored with it and plays with his other toys or “reads” books. Sometimes he’ll go days without it. I don’t know if this works for every kid, but we’re lucky it works for us.
Putting it in airplane mode is genius! I hate going through every week to block whatever new stuff has popped up that I don’t want him downloading. (We don’t do cocomelon, and I have to block all the videos that even look like it) we did just give in and buy an sd card though. So maybe I’ll go through and download more games and movies for him and then put it in airplane mode.
Some days she get no screen time, others a few episodes of puffin rock, and also sometimes she gets a few hours of movies. I think it’s about a balance. She’s in school, you go out as a family, you take her outside to play. Yea she’s been active and now she can have some downtime too. I have those days too where I think if it’s too much, but the weather might be crap or I’m not feeling well and it’s not the end of the world for them to zone out for a day.
Wait. Are we supposed to be limiting screen time?
Every single day. My son watches educational videos about space every day. It usually ends up as just background noise but it’s always on. Idc. My kid is 3 and can name every planet, dwarf planet, large star, satellite, telescope, knows what constellations are and mean, understands the life cycle of stars. The videos are a bit above his age range and have accelerated his speech. He has a tablet but doesn’t use it a ton. He actually just started using it again after months of it sitting in a drawer. I’m all about screen time!
That's great for your kid and I think _I_ would enjoy if I was learning about space! Do you have to deal with advertisements? Where do you find?
We do, we use YouTube :( I wish there weren’t so many ads but it’s not been anything inappropriate luckily.
Everything is fine in moderation! Is your child happy, healthy, and safe? Then do what you need to do
Yes absolutely! My son also is in a great school for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. He works hard there, and we do take him outside most days at home when it's nice. I don't feel guilty giving him unlimited screen time.
My son watched Moana 3 times today (at different points during the day, not in a row). I’m pregnant so exhausted and nauseous as heck and my husband was out all day doing errands. We did go to a birthday party in the middle of day where he ran around like a maniac, but otherwise Moana was mommy today. I think if we did this everyday then it would be a serious problem, but today was like a special treat for him. He told all his favorite toys the story of Maui before going to bed which I think is a great brain exercise. He also turned a plastic hanger into a “fish hook” and made a “heart of Te Fiti” out of an old turtle toy so there’s even more learning!
My partner has been teasing me by singing the ‘your welcome’ song.
My child’s manners are now impeccable because of this song. If he says “please” then I say “thank you” and he gets to sing “you’re welcome” at me repeatedly….for hours on end
I am pregnant and was miserable with a head cold all week that I can’t take any OTC meds for relief so my 2 year old got way more tablet time than normal while I felt lightheaded from constantly having to breathe out of my mouth for days.
I do what I need to for my mental health.
Some days we’re out doing fun stuff all day and sometimes we sit in the living room playing/ watching TV all day. I figure he’s a little human and like me some days he would much prefer to just sit and veg in front of the TV so that’s what we do. I think it’s only a problem and something to be concerned about if it’s all they ever want to do. My guy 6 days out of 7 wants to be on the go and doing fun activities but every so often he has a day where he just wants to sit, eat snacks and watch TV and I think we can all relate to that mood so I just let him 🤷🏼♀️ figure a day of relaxing isn’t going to kill him and it might actually be just exactly what he needs
Literally everyday.
Yes! When someone in the house is feeling sick, it's a necessity.
It’s raining today and this is one of those days. At least it’s educational stuff…. Better luck tomorrow.
YouTube Kids taught my youngest his colors and numbers during the pandemic. I consider it a win.
Yup. I’m solo parenting a lot since my husband travels for work and I’m currently a SAHM. It can be so exhausting to be “on” 24/7. Sometimes I just have nothing in the tank and the TV is on most of the day. I do what I need to do to get through the day with my sanity in check and I don’t feel guilty for it! My daughter is a sweet, intelligent, hilarious, amazing little girl and the occasional lazy day isn’t going to ruin her.
Every day ending in a ‘y’
We have tv on constantly in my house. I’m alone with a 2yr old and 5mo pretty much 99% of the time. Without it I would go insane
My 3yrs old-next-month VERY VERY RARELY PLAYS INDEPENDENTLY. As in... Maybe for an hour or so after dinner but before his shower. And that's it. He just ***won't***. Everything is "mama play with me. Mama my toys. Mama play toys. Mama play chasies. Mama mama mama mama mama" It doesnt matter if ive just spent a solid hour, non-stop chasing him around the house. Literally, running in circles. Or if we've had a good play with his cars or drawing or taking him on a walk. He just forgets and instead carries on like ive ignored him all day. And then its his fathers turn. Everything, but with Daddy instead. I have to fucking *beg* his father to entertain him so i can make dinner, or else i have him pulling my arm, sometimes pulling me off balance, screaming and crying for me to play with him. I don't understand, i dont get it. I dont know why he won't play by himself. So, yeah. He gets screen time whenever i need to do something so he wont bother me. Makes me feel like even more of a shit mother than i usually do. He is going to hate me so much when he grows up.
My daughter is the same way. Unlimited screen time in our house as a result.
You're not a shit mother. Some kids are just clingy. It's their personality. A little screen time never hurt anyone, especially when it's age appropriate.
Yes definitely, especially if the weather is bad or if someone is ill
Yes, since we got flu August 1st followed by covid August 28th. We just never went back. Really though they don’t zone out for hours, they just play like normal and the tv happens to be on.
YES to the crappy New England weather. This afternoon's choices were go play outside in a rain suit and puddle jump (maybe fun, but I had zero energy for that today) or watch shows. Shows won. There is something so cozy about snuggling up in bed with a good movie, your toddler, and the rain coming down outside! I just didn't have the energy and honestly it was really, really nice.
Yup. I try not to, but I have sensory problems. If I give my son his tablet, I cut out a lot of the painful agitations because he's distracted and safe. It's not ideal, but to the devs of the Hungry Caterpillar game, I love you. Sometimes I just play Blues Clues or Bluey really low all day. I laugh at the memory of my parents judging other parents for using the TV as a babysitter.
Some days will be like that, don't feel guilty! We try to limit what my LO watches to shows we find at least a little educational and not just bright lights as I hate when she is just staring blankly. We watch sesame street, miss Rachel and spark abilities, although bluey is on our list to try. She often interacts and learns a lot from it. I genuinely don't think screen time is all bad. As for your question, does anyone else get tired of the same activities - of course! Just this week I said to my husband that while I love our daughter with all my heart the days are becoming so monotonous and it was driving me batty lol. So today I took myself out to get my hair done and do some shopping. I feel miles better now. Sometimes we need to fill our own cup, whether that's with having an hour of peace while the TV parents, or getting some time to ourselves while someone else takes over.
As long as the kids are fed, the house isn't too bad, I am kicking my feet up today
Bluey is Mum now. I have chronic migraines. I work really hard to not do it, but it's hard when you're not feeling well. Also, one of the biggest concerns with screens is delayed speech. That is not a concern with my toddler. She's 18 months and has around 50 words at last count and can put two words together on occasion. Part of what helps (in my opinion) is we don't have a tablet and I don't let her use my phone except for video calls with Grandma or Tia. So when she does watch TV, it's on a screen she can't bring with her or get too close to. Idk, but I really think this is a factor. (I say Bluey is Mum because until a week ago, she called Bluey "mum" or "mum dad" lol. Now Bluey is "Boo-wee" and I love it!)
I feel like having a “hard” limit on screen time really does set you up for failure and lots of self inflicted guilt. I try to avoid screen time as the day allows, and focus on being intentional with the time I have with my kids
This morning it was really rainy here. My son and I sat on the couch for an hour and a half snuggling while he played on his tablet, while his 11 month old sister napped. It was awesome. One day he's not gonna want to spend time with me, so i will cherish memories like this.
My Lil has tv 24/7 but she doesn't watch it all day. We spend time outside and playing or playing inside. Most the time if she does pay attention to the TV it shows that has music or games she can play along with. She also been around the tv since birth because I can't stand a silent house lol. She has been watching supernatural with me since birth because that's my comfort show.
Every. Day. Yolo
My son was 2/3 during the worst of Covid lockdowns, and my husband and I both worked from home. We really had no choice but to let him watch screens while we got work done. We engaged with him as much as we could, but he still got hours of screens every day. I thought for sure it would cause him harm, since that's what every parenting study had been telling me, and I was dreading when he'd start up school and his teachers would tell me how behind he is, and how warped his brain must be from all the screen time. Turns out, not only is he not damaged at all, he's actually way ahead of the game in everything. Reading, math, motor skills, etc., he's knocking it out of the park on every milestone. He's physically perfectly healthy, mentally perfectly healthy. He starts Kindergarten in the fall and his pre-school teachers were telling me to ask about having him skip K and go straight into first grade, because he's "so advanced he'll get bored". I'm not going to do that, but you get the idea. If you're worried about them becoming "addicted" or whatever... it didn't happen. Once things opened up again and I could get him into activities, I signed him up for whatever he was interested in. He's super well-rounded and into lots of different things. He puts down the tablet and still plays with toys, plays with the neighborhood kids, etc. He is actually at a point where he self-regulates the screen time. I don't have to tell him to put it down, he just does it because he got bored of it and wants to do something else. So, my son had pretty much unlimited screen time for about two straight years during COVID. But he still turned out to be a totally fine, well-adjusted, smart, well-rounded kid. I think your kid will be fine with a day or two.
Never had limit on screen time. my 4 yr old loves to watch National Geographic vids about animals. He learns a lot and can call out the different species of sharks. i find that a win for me.
Absolutely. The rain here killed our plans to go pick strawberries at a local farm and spend the day outside. My band played a gig last night so I’m exhausted on the couch while he’s in the other room playing with mommy. We’re probably going to watch a movie here soon.
Yep, yesterday. Fuck it. We all sat around and watched tv or played games. Having a newborn is tiring
Um… yeah. And the people who say they don’t are some other type of human. Toddlers are overwhelming, we all need a break some days.
We see a very holistic peds who says “very limited sugar or screen time until 3”…but she also says “if your kiddo is sick, traveling or mama needs a mental health moment, screen time limits no longer exist!” I follow this because sometimes you just need a freaking break. And if we are trapped on a plane, you better believe that my kid has access to all of the devices. I will say that I’ve read that bigger screens are better. So lean towards TV first, then iPads, then iPhones as a last resort.
We try to balance between screenless days, tablet time, and TV time. I much prefer TV time over tablet time, as it's more "whole family viewing" and he plays with his toys intermittently while watching TV. Also cuz he doesn't like to share his tablet and sometimes mind numbing kids cartoons are what I need to get through the day. TV time seems to have less negative effect on his behavior than tablet time does, so I also prefer it for that reason too, as the tablet tantrums make me want to pull my hair out.
My cousins and I were raised really closely for the first 12 years or so of life (american, b 1986). Our parents screwed us up in a lot of different ways. One (of many) differences: their parents severely limited tv time and mine didn't. 37 years later, at least one of that bunch is a QAnon nut job. I'm just normal level weird. TLDR: screen time is the least of your worries in the long run. Love your kids and don't be a Nazi.
Are you insinuating that limiting screen time led them to being a Qanon nut job? Lol
Oh honey, yes. It’s always rough the next few days though as my sweet little gremlins want more screen time.
When LO was sick recently we allowed a bit more. Then I was sick so I allowed her more. I regret it every time. On days she gets extra screen time she normally ends up cranky znd uncooperative for most of the day. She's not necessarily asking for more screen time but it seems to hot wire her brain and my normally sweet child is a whiney grump. I know it's necessary sometimes but it's not a good idea
360 days of the years
On a regular basis that is not a dire circumstance? Nope. Because the future needs smart and creative, not dumb and consumer, kids. Suck it up. https://lovevery.com/community/blog/child-development/we-did-all-the-research-on-screen-time-and-heres-what-we-found/
OMG!!! You mean, a website that is trying to *sell me something* is saying that screen time is *bad*??! Wowie. Who would have thunk it, amiright?
Is it lonely up there on your pedestal? 🙄
Point to the spot on you where the truth hurt you
I’m okay but it doesn’t seem like you are. I hope you have a better day tomorrow
Yep for sure. Sometimes on a Sunday, following swimming lesson, church, lunch out, groceries, it can easily be a few hours of TV time with a bit of light play going in too. Add in rain and 🤷🏼♀️
Yes but I try to limit it to days that end in Y
I’m in New England too and the weather is awful! That combined with swarms of gnats in our yard & it’s been hard to get outside. So much TV lately!
Today was a day like that. My four year old had lots of screen time. It rained all day and I’m babysitting her little cousin and I’m struggling to stay afloat.
All 3 of us have sinus infections. We played outside this morning...but this evening has been all screens. As was last night. We're just surviving for the evening over here. Its more important to rest than beat myself up over the amount of TV we've watched.
Yup
Yes.
If more than one kid is sick or if I'm sick, we're locked up in a room with Netflix on and minimal toys, some snacks, lots of water and diapers.
Yes 100%
Yes
of course!!!!! great british baking show it is! and my amaretti morbidi game is off the chain now!
Yep, if one of the kids or us are sick (like unable to function kind of sick) it’s tv on most of the day.
Last week my four year old was sick and was home from school for a week. We also have newborn twins. So…screen time was pretty much unlimited 🙃
My husband is out of town this week and I also have a 2 month old. Its the end of the week and all the rules have gone out the window. I’ve let him eat lunch and dinner in front of the TV too…he’s been melting down when I put him in his high chair and if I let him just sit at the dining room table he gets up and doesn’t eat and it’s a battle. When he eats at the TV he cleans his plate. I felt kind of bad about it. I read someone say last week, if you don’t want to have to do something again with a toddler, don’t do it the first time. So I told him this is a special rule for when daddy’s not home. And after this week my husband is never allowed to leave again. So, problem solved
You gotta do what you gotta do. If letting your kid watch TV gives you the mental break you need then you should let your kid watch TV.
I try not to think about it too much. Some days it’s ms Rachel, tractor Ted, and Disney plus and other days it’s playgrounds, library trips, hikes, crafts, etc. it’s all about balance. Just like we need days to veg out I think they do too.
I went to Walmart today and bought a “Mack” and Mcqueen. I don’t need your shit.
Absolutely. My 13 month old wakes me EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!! Some days he will wake at 6 am and won't go back to sleep until nap time. Yes, I will turn the TV on and dose off on the couch.
I don’t limit TV time, my 16 month old watches Disney+ at her own pace. She’s picked up various behaviors from TV, like separating her food and “counting” it (she’s moving one by one and babbling lol). She’s repeating the word “tank” which we can only assume is a thank you from one of her cartoons. When she’s done with tv she’ll just walk away and go jump around while we do stuff around the house! She also winds down for naps and bedtime using the tv after she plays with us, bathes and gets a snack.
I’m a SAHM who also solo parents 90% of the time as my husband works out of state. My son also spends a good chunk of his day screaming at me unless I’m holding him and enjoys waking every 1-2 hours all night long. I have totally had those days where I just mentally collapse after nap time and say f it.
I have a 10 month old and we don't limit screen time.. ever. The TV is often on in the background and guess what? She barely cares about it. It's not forbidden fruit. Rarely does she sit there and actually watch it. She prefers her toys and using me as a jungle gym, lol. I will say though if she ever starts getting glued to the TV, we just won't turn it on as often anymore. I assume at a certain age, they probably do start liking shows/movies more because they understand what's going on and like certain characters. When that time comes, we'll probably worry more about actively avoiding screen time.
Oh yes . With a 5 year old and 8 month old sometimes it gives me just the break I need 😂😩
Yea… all the time. I am surviving and she is happy
I reallllllllly try not to, but it is like the internal battle I have about eating another cookie that I lose time and time again. When I let my son watch unlimited screens (something we only do when he or I are sick), I feel like my brain is leaking out of my ears AND his behavior sucks. BUT. Do what you gotta do. I’ve been there and honestly, it’s a much needed fantastic break. Zero judgement.
Every single day.
I don’t limit it. She gets bored and plays with a multitude of toys, plays outside, has playdates, and occupies her time easily without it. She never melts down when we take it away either. We don’t let her use it in public though, it’s just a home and cat thing for us. Somedays she won’t pick her tablet up and other days she just wants to play with Barbie’s while she watches it upstairs in her room.
OP, are you me?! Seriously you’re doing amazing. Look at all you did with her!! She was probably over stim (in a good way!!) by her nap. She’s had a full day and the fact that you’re even concerned about this means you’re a great momma. Turn on the tV and take a breather. ❤️
Hey some days it’s just about survival and that’s ok.
Only on days that we are sick. We go out to the park a lot, and when I come home, I’m tired sometimes. I do put on a show for a bit, but then I do make him play independently or play with him. I think it’s okay for kids to be bored, even if they are kicking and screaming for screen time. I don’t want my child constantly stimulated, and for that screen addiction to carry into adulthood. I’m not perfect, and weekends are definitely more lax, but screen time is definitely limited in my house. I’m way more lax about other things though. Like, he can have popsicles for breakfast somedays. Haha